Stephen r covey the 7 habits of highly effectiv kho tài liệu bách khoa

Thematerial and arrangement has slowlyevolved and has imbued those whohave been sincerely and deeplyimmersed in it with the conviction thatthe Seven Habits represent a holistic,integrate

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective

People

Copyright © 1989, 2004 by Stephen R.Covey

Cover art to the electronic edition

copyright © 2012 by RosettaBooks,LLC

All rights reserved No part of thisbook may be used or reproduced in anyform or by any electronic or

mechanical means, including

information storage and retrieval

systems, without permission in writingfrom the publisher, except by a

reviewer who may quote brief passages

in a review.

Electronic edition published 2012 byRosettaBooks LLC, New York

ePub ISBN: 978-0-7953-2342-3

To my colleagues,empoweredand empowering

of success literature as part of adoctoral program I am grateful for theinspiration and wisdom of manythinkers and for the trans-generationalsources and roots of this wisdom.

I am also grateful for many students,friends, and colleagues at BrighamYoung University and the CoveyLeadership Center and for thousands ofadults, parents, youth, executives,

teachers, and other clients who havetested this material and have givenfeedback and encouragement Thematerial and arrangement has slowlyevolved and has imbued those whohave been sincerely and deeplyimmersed in it with the conviction thatthe Seven Habits represent a holistic,integrated approach to personal andinterpersonal effectiveness, and that,more than in the individual habitsthemselves, the real key lies in therelationship among them and in howthey are sequenced.

For the development and production ofthe book itself I feel a deep sense ofgratitude:

—to Sandra and to each of our children

and their spouses for living lives ofintegrity and service and for supporting

my many travels and involvementsoutside the home It’s easy to teachprinciples loved ones live

—to my brother John for his constantlove, interest, insights and purity ofsoul

—to the happy memory of my father

—to my mother for her devotion to hermore than 87 living descendants andfor her constant demonstrations oflove

—to my dear friends and colleagues inthe business, especially:

—to Bill Marre, Ron McMillan, andLex Watterson for feedback,

encouragement, editorial suggestions,and production help.

—to Brad Anderson, who at greatpersonal sacrifice for over a year,developed a Seven Habits video-baseddevelopment program Under hisleadership this material has been testedand refined and is being implemented

by thousands of people across a broadrange of organizations Almost withoutexception, after initial exposure to thismaterial, our clients desire to make itavailable to greater numbers ofemployees, underscoring ourconfidence that it “works.”

—to Bob Thele for helping to create asystem for our firm that gave me thepeace of mind to enable me to really

focus on the book.

—to David Conley for communicatingthe value and power of the SevenHabits to hundreds of businessorganizations so that my colleagues,Blaine Lee, Roice Krueger, RogerMerrill and Al Switzler, and I have theconstant opportunity to share ideas in alarge variety of settings

—to my proactive literary agent JanMiller, and my “can do” associate GregLink and his assistant Stephanni Smithand Raleen Beckham Wahlin for theircreative and courageous marketingleadership

—to my Simon and Schuster editorBob Asahina for his professionalcompetence and project leadership, for

his many excellent suggestions and forhelping me to better understand thedifference between writing andspeaking.

—to my earlier devoted assistantsShirley and Heather Smith and to mypresent assistant Marilyn Andrews for

a level of loyalty which is trulyuncommon

—to our Executive Excellencemagazine editor Ken Shelton for hisediting of the first manuscript yearsago, for helping refine and test thematerial in several contexts, and for hisintegrity and sense of quality

—to Rebecca Merrill for her invaluableediting and production assistance, forher inner commitment to the material,

and for her skill, sensitivity, andcarefulness in fulfilling thatcommitment, and to her husband,Roger, for his wise, synergistic help.

—and to Kay Swim and her son,Gaylord, for their much appreciatedvision which contributed to ourorganization’s rapid growth

FOREWORD

PART ONE: PARADIGMS AND PRINCIPLES

Inside-Out

The Seven Habits—An Overview

PART TWO: PRIVATE VICTORY

HABIT 1 Be Proactive

Principles of Personal Vision

HABIT 2 Begin with the End in Mind

Principles of Personal Leadership

HABIT 3 Put First Things First

Principles of Personal Management

PART THREE: PUBLIC VICTORY

Paradigms of Interdependence

HABIT 4 Think Win/Win

Principles of Interpersonal Leadership

HABIT 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Principles of Empathetic Communication

HABIT 6 Synergize

Principles of Creative Cooperation

PART FOUR: RENEWAL

HABIT 7 Sharpen the Saw

Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal

When I wrote this book in 1989, I had

no idea how the world would changeand that people would be able to readThe 7 Habits of Highly EffectivePeople in this amazing way on theseamazing devices

Since then, this book has been called

“the most influential business book ofthe century” (by The Wall StreetJournal) It stayed on The New YorkTimes best-seller list for five years A

“must-read” translated into 38languages, with 20 million copies inprint (and is arguably the most piratedbusiness book in the world) Google 7Habits and you’ll get more than 12

million hits.

I’ve been humbled and gratified bythe worldwide audience this book hasreached Presidents, prime ministers,and kings read the book, but so docollege students, construction workers,and kitchen help I’ve heard fromliterally thousands of people who saythings like this:

“I learned to focus on truly

important things, not just urgentthings.”

I listen—really listen—to otherpeople for the first time.”

“Since I started thinking win-win

in a job that was killing me, I’vefound a new mission and purpose

in my professional life.”

How will The 7 Habits impact you?

My hope is that you will find newhope, a greater sense of purpose, morepeace of mind, and far more rewardingrelationships in both your personal andprofessional life

Stephen R Covey

December 2009

FranklinCovey Co

PART ONE

PARADIGMS and

PRINCIPLES

David Starr Jordan

N MORE THAN 25 YEARS of workingwith people in business, university,and marriage and family settings, Ihave come in contact with manyindividuals who have achieved anincredible degree of outward success,but have found themselves strugglingwith an inner hunger, a deep need forpersonal congruency and effectivenessand for healthy, growing relationships

with other people.

I suspect some of the problems theyhave shared with me may be familiar toyou

I’ve set and met my career goals and I’m having tremendous professional success But it’s cost me my personal and family life I don’t know my wife and children any more I’m not even sure I know myself and what’s really important to me I’ve had to ask myself

—is it worth it?

I’ve started a new diet—for the fifth time this year I know I’m overweight, and I really want to change I read all the new information, I set goals, I get myself all psyched up with a positive mental attitude and tell myself I can do

it But I don’t After a few weeks, I fizzle I just can’t seem to keep a promise I make to myself.

I’ve taken course after course on effective management training I expect

a lot out of my employees and I work hard to be friendly toward them and to treat them right But I don’t feel any loyalty from them I think if I were home sick for a day, they’d spend most

of their time gabbing at the water fountain Why can’t I train them to be independent and responsible—or find employees who can be?

My teenage son is rebellious and on drugs No matter what I try, he won’t listen to me What can I do?

There’s so much to do And there’s

never enough time I feel pressured and hassled all day, every day, seven days a week I’ve attended time management seminars and I’ve tried half a dozen different planning systems They’ve helped some, but I still don’t feel I’m living the happy, productive, peaceful life I want to live.

I want to teach my children the value of work But to get them to do anything, I have to supervise every move and put

up with complaining every step of the way It’s so much easier to do it myself Why can’t children do their work cheerfully and without being reminded?

I’m busy—really busy But sometimes I wonder if what I’m doing will make any

difference in the long run I’d really like to think there was meaning in my life, that somehow things were different because I was here.

I see my friends or relatives achieve some degree of success or receive some recognition, and I smile and congratulate them enthusiastically But inside, I’m eating my heart out Why do

I feel this way?

I have a forceful personality I know, in almost any interaction, I can control the outcome Most of the time, I can even do it by influencing others to come up with the solution I want I think through each situation and I really feel the ideas I come up with are usually the best for everyone But I feel

uneasy I always wonder what other people really think of me and my ideas.

My marriage has gone flat We don’t fight or anything; we just don’t love each other anymore We’ve gone to counseling; we’ve tried a number of things, but we just can’t seem to rekindle the feeling we used to have.

These are deep problems, painfulproblems—problems that quick fixapproaches can’t solve

A few years ago, my wife Sandra and

I were struggling with this kind ofconcern One of our sons was having avery difficult time in school He wasdoing poorly academically; he didn’teven know how to follow theinstructions on the tests, let alone do

well on them Socially he wasimmature, often embarrassing thoseclosest to him Athletically, he wassmall, skinny, and uncoordinated—swinging his baseball bat, for example,almost before the ball was evenpitched Others would laugh at him.

Sandra and I were consumed with adesire to help him We felt that if

“success” were important in any area

of life, it was supremely important inour role as parents So we worked onour attitudes and behavior toward himand we tried to work on his Weattempted to psych him up usingpositive mental attitude techniques

“Come on, son! You can do it! Weknow you can Put your hands a little

higher on the bat and keep your eye onthe ball Don’t swing till it gets close toyou.” And if he did a little better, wewould go to great lengths to reinforcehim “That’s good, son, keep it up.”

When others laughed, wereprimanded them “Leave him alone.Get off his back He’s just learning.”And our son would cry and insist thathe’d never be any good and that hedidn’t like baseball anyway

Nothing we did seemed to help, and

we were really worried We could seethe effect this was having on his self-esteem We tried to be encouraging andhelpful and positive, but after repeatedfailure, we finally drew back and tried

to look at the situation on a different

At this time in my professional role Iwas involved in leadershipdevelopment work with various clientsthroughout the country In that capacity

I was preparing bimonthly programs onthe subject of communication andperception for IBM’s ExecutiveDevelopment Program participants

As I researched and prepared thesepresentations, I became particularlyinterested in how perceptions areformed, how they govern the way wesee, and how the way we see governshow we behave This led me to a study

of expectancy theory and self-fulfillingprophecies or the “Pygmalion effect,”and to a realization of how deeply

imbedded our perceptions are It taught

me that we must look at the lens

through which we see the world, aswell as at the world we see, and that thelens itself shapes how we interpret theworld

As Sandra and I talked about theconcepts I was teaching at IBM andabout our own situation, we began torealize that what we were doing to helpour son was not in harmony with the

way we really saw him When we

honestly examined our deepestfeelings, we realized that ourperception was that he was basicallyinadequate, somehow “behind.” Nomatter how much we worked on ourattitude and behavior, our efforts were

ineffective because, despite our actionsand our words, what we reallycommunicated to him was, “You aren’tcapable You have to be protected.”

We began to realize that if we wanted

to change the situation, we first had tochange ourselves And to changeourselves effectively, we first had tochange our perceptions

THE PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER ETHICS

At the same time, in addition to myresearch on perception, I was alsodeeply immersed in an in-depth study

of the success literature published inthe United States since 1776 I wasreading or scanning literally hundreds

of books, articles, and essays in fieldssuch as self-improvement, popularpsychology, and self-help At myfingertips was the sum and substance

of what a free and democratic peopleconsidered to be the keys to successfulliving

As my study took me back through

200 years of writing about success, Inoticed a startling pattern emerging inthe content of the literature Because ofour own pain, and because of similarpain I had seen in the lives andrelationships of many people I hadworked with through the years, I began

to feel more and more that much of thesuccess literature of the past 50 yearswas superficial It was filled with

social image consciousness, techniquesand quick fixes—with social band-aidsand aspirin that addressed acuteproblems and sometimes evenappeared to solve them temporarily,but left the underlying chronicproblems untouched to fester andresurface time and again.

In stark contrast, almost all theliterature in the first 150 years or sofocused on what could be called the

Character Ethic as the foundation of

success—things like integrity,humility, fidelity, temperance, courage,justice, patience, industry, simplicity,modesty, and the Golden Rule.Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography isrepresentative of that literature It is,

basically, the story of one man’s effort

to integrate certain principles andhabits deep within his nature

The Character Ethic taught that thereare basic principles of effective living,and that people can only experiencetrue success and enduring happiness asthey learn and integrate theseprinciples into their basic character

But shortly after World War 1 thebasic view of success shifted from theCharacter Ethic to what we might call

the Personality Ethic Success became

more a function of personality, ofpublic image, of attitudes andbehaviors, skills and techniques, thatlubricate the processes of humaninteraction This Personality Ethic

essentially took two paths: one washuman and public relations techniques,and the other was positive mentalattitude (PMA) Some of thisphilosophy was expressed in inspiringand sometimes valid maxims such as

“Your attitude determines youraltitude,” “Smiling wins more friendsthan frowning,” and “Whatever themind of man can conceive and believe

it can achieve.”

Other parts of the personalityapproach were clearly manipulative,even deceptive, encouraging people touse techniques to get other people tolike them, or to fake interest in thehobbies of others to get out of themwhat they wanted, or to use the “power

look,” or to intimidate their waythrough life.

Some of this literature acknowledgedcharacter as an ingredient of success,but tended to compartmentalize itrather than recognize it as foundationaland catalytic Reference to theCharacter Ethic became mostly lipservice; the basic thrust was quick-fixinfluence techniques, power strategies,communication skills, and positiveattitudes

This Personality Ethic, I began torealize, was the subconscious source ofthe solutions Sandra and I wereattempting to use with our son As Ithought more deeply about thedifference between the Personality and

Character Ethics, I realized that Sandraand I had been getting social mileageout of our children’s good behavior,and, in our eyes, this son simply didn’t

measure up Our image of ourselves,

and our role as good, caring parents

was even deeper than our image of our

son and perhaps influenced it There

was a lot more wrapped up in the way

we were seeing and handling the

problem than our concern for our son’swelfare

As Sandra and I talked, we becamepainfully aware of the powerfulinfluence of our own character andmotives and of our perception of him

We knew that social comparisonmotives were out of harmony with our

deeper values and could lead toconditional love and eventually to ourson’s lessened sense of self-worth So

we determined to focus our efforts on

us—not on our techniques, but on our

deepest motives and our perception ofhim Instead of trying to change him,

we tried to stand apart—to separate us

f r om him—and to sense his identity,

individuality, separateness, and worth.Through deep thought and theexercise of faith and prayer, we began

t o see our son in terms of his own uniqueness We saw within him layers

and layers of potential that would berealized at his own pace and speed Wedecided to relax and get out of his wayand let his own personality emerge We

saw our natural role as being to affirm,

enjoy, and value him We alsoconscientiously worked on our motivesand cultivated internal sources ofsecurity so that our own feelings ofworth were not dependent on ourchildren’s “acceptable” behavior

As we loosened up our old perception

of our son and developed value-basedmotives, new feelings began to emerge

We found ourselves enjoying himinstead of comparing or judging him

We stopped trying to clone him in ourown image or measure him againstsocial expectations We stopped trying

to kindly, positively manipulate himinto an acceptable social mold.Because we saw him as fundamentally

adequate and able to cope with life, westopped protecting him against theridicule of others.

He had been nurtured on thisprotection, so he went through somewithdrawal pains, which he expressedand which we accepted, but did notnecessarily respond to “We don’t need

to protect you,” was the unspokenmessage “You’re fundamentallyokay.”

As the weeks and months passed, hebegan to feel a quiet confidence andaffirmed himself He began to blossom,

at his own pace and speed He becameoutstanding as measured by standardsocial criteria—academically, sociallyand athletically—at a rapid clip, far

beyond the so-called naturaldevelopmental process As the yearspassed, he was elected to severalstudent body leadership positions,developed into an all-state athlete andstarted bringing home straight A reportcards He developed an engaging andguileless personality that has enabledhim to relate in nonthreatening ways toall kinds of people.

Sandra and I believe that our son’s

“socially impressive” accomplishmentswere more a serendipitous expression

of the feelings he had about himselfthan merely a response to socialreward This was an amazingexperience for Sandra and me, and avery instructional one in dealing with