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... counting to twenty before replying to a negative comment made by others Open to possibilities Give equal focus to possibilities as one would give to impossibilities The value of being open to possibilities... evidence to signify one’s positive transition from reactive-ness to responsiveness is the frequency of experiencing “pauses” in one’s life © Barney Wee, Mind Transformations Pte Ltd STEPS TO CHANGING... Willingness to explore In the context of personal change, one needs to try something new – to go into the domain of the unknown To explore means to hold back all previous preconceived notions and expectations
8 Keys to Proactive Living Barney Wee 2010 Mind Transformations Pte Ltd www.mindtransformations.com (65) 8186 7508 info@nlpsgasia.com A brief and succinct report on how to obtain the ability to “pro-act” rather than react to change. Barney describes 8 steps that will help you to become proactive when dealing with change – career or otherwise. It includes scientific explanations on why some of these methods actually work! The report includes an action planning sheet that encourages you to quickly apply what you’ve learned. © Barney Wee, Mind Transformations Pte Ltd 1 DYNAMICS OF PERSONAL CHANGE People are constantly wondering what the world is becoming. People are coping with changes that are coming from technological advancements, ongoing economic and political upheavals as well as global biological, climatic and geophysical changes. In the midst of uncertainty, the only constant in the world of rapid change that one can control is oneself. One may not be able to change the circumstances, but one can certainly gain mastery over the way one reacts or responds to circumstances. “It is not what happens to you that shape your life, it is how you react or respond to it.” To react implies the absence of hesitation or the absence of forethought. It is associated to a knee-jerk behaviour, a neurological activity that comes from the “reptilian” part of the human brain. A leading authority of brain anatomy and functions, *Dr Paul MacLean states that the reptilian brain is the most primitive brain based on his triune brain model, which includes the mammalian (limbic) and neo-mammalian brain (neo-cortex). *Director of the Laboratory of Brain Evolution & Behaviour in Maryland, USA While the neo-mammalian is known as the rational brain which houses the higher cognitive functions, the limbic system is concerned with expression and mediation of emotions. The reptilian brain controls muscles, balance and unconscious functions, such as breathing and heartbeat. It is also rigid, obsessive, compulsive and ritualistic. It is primarily responsible for "fight or flight” behaviours in stressful situations. In contrast with the idea of being proactive (to act in anticipation of future needs or desires), to react is to remain somewhat stationary (like a reptile eg. lizard or snake) until a situation warrants fight or flight behaviours. Therefore a reactive person could be described as someone who is driven by pain and fear, constantly uptight and tense, problem-focused and often perceive themselves to be in “no choice” situations. In other words, a reactive person waits till things are bad enough before they act, and they often display hurried, disordered and anxious behaviours. People who are unaware of such behaviours often find themselves in vicious life-destructive cycles, until they redirect their “focus” – it is said that “where one places one’s focus, determines one’s reality.” © Barney Wee, Mind Transformations Pte Ltd 2 “… a reactive person could be described as someone who is driven by pain and fear, constantly uptight and tense, problem- focused and often perceive themselves to be in ‘no choice’ situations.” The ability to “pro-act” encompasses the elements of focusing into the future and having a desired outcome in mind. A desired outcome provides choice, as in anticipating options that provide desirable possibilities. The word “anticipation” means “to fulfill beforehand” - that is to act as if one has the necessary resources or skills. Such future-oriented skills can only be exercised when one is willing to act without full certainty. The word “anticipation” means “to fulfill beforehand”, that is to act as if one has the necessary resources or skills. Such future-oriented skills can only be exercised when one is willing to act without full certainty. Luminaries like Nikola Tesla, Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, Tom Watson and Ray Kroc exercised such capabilities in themselves. They first see the desirable possibilities of their outcome, and they are willing to act without full certainty. According to Dr Paul MacLean, such capabilities are connected to the neocortex. Described as "the mother of invention and father of abstract thought” by MacLean, the neo-cortex takes up two-thirds of the total brain mass and it consists of two hemispheres; the right-brain is more spatial, abstract, metaphorical and artistic, while the left-brain is more linear, rational, literal and verbal. These neurological resources make strategic thinking possible and it enables us to see ahead and plan for the future. Luminaries like Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, Tom Watson and Ray Kroc… first see the desirable possibilities of their outcome, and they are willing to act without full certainty. In the context of human interaction, one can be “reactive” or “responsive”. As opposed to being apathetic, unreceptive or unaffected, a responsive person is able to match or closely gauge an act or feeling (correspond). In other words, a responsive person engages appropriately and sympathetically to stimulus. In contrast, a reactive person has uncontrollable “hot buttons” which when pushed (intentionally or not) – they lash out. Very often, others see a reactive person as © Barney Wee, Mind Transformations Pte Ltd 3 being defensive, operating from a reality of “unsafe”, “vulnerable” and/or “fear of being misunderstood.” “In other words, a responsive person engages appropriately and sympathetically to stimulus (provocation).” “Respond” also means that one has the ability to hold back previous reactions (programs) in an ongoing interaction with others. Therefore a healthy evidence to signify one’s positive transition from reactive-ness to responsiveness is the frequency of experiencing “pauses” in one’s life. © Barney Wee, Mind Transformations Pte Ltd 4 8 STEPS TO CHANGING PROACTIVELY 1. Appreciating “pauses” Make conscious effort to pause before responding to situations. It may be at a meeting, negotiation, selling, discussion, personal or group planning – encourage yourself and others to appreciate a few seconds or minutes of “pausing.” Such times allow one to re-think or take a second-look at a situation or give oneself an honest self-reflection. The emphasis here is to notice the “pause” as opposed to being overly fixated on solving a problem or coming up with a solution. The purpose of these “moments” is to disengage oneself from previous reactions or strategies. When one is free from past programming, one can then think and act “anew.” These pauses could be taking refreshing walks, looking out the window, eating an apple or even simply counting to twenty before replying to a negative comment made by others. 2. Open to possibilities Give equal focus to possibilities as one would give to impossibilities. The value of being open to possibilities is that it enables one to get out of one’s own box. Renowned inventors and change agents know this – unless one is motivated to believe something is possible, one will not even try. Before asking what is realistic, one first needs to ask what is maximally possible, because then one is not limited by past experiences. In other words, one is open to all the possibilities available. Being open to possibilities enables one to ask questions such as: “If we could do this, how would we proceed?” “If all things are possible, what would we want and what would it look like?” “If what you are saying is possible, what do you suggest we do first?” “What is it that we are not seeing, yet that would enable us to move forward?” “If the future holds unlimited possibilities, would we want what we have just mentioned?” 3. Focusing on positive outcomes The mind cannot represent what is desired by focusing on the undesired. In other words, the mind cannot focus on the opposite of an idea. In the context of linguistic studies, the mind does not have any representation for negations such as words like “don’t” and “not.” When one, for example, tries not to think of an orange cat, that’s exactly what one is holding in mind! And that which the mind holds, the body responds to it. In the same way that an erotic image evokes chemical changes in the body, holding an image of what one is nervous about © Barney Wee, Mind Transformations Pte Ltd 5 produces the same effect. Therefore focusing on a positive outcome is about beginning with a desirable end in mind. What one focuses on then becomes the focal point of reference for one’s ongoing experience. This redirection of focus allows the brain to make new neurological pathways and connections, which over time builds up one’s muscle to see opportunities/possibilities, even in disastrous situations. 4. Willingness to explore In the context of personal change, one needs to try something new – to go into the domain of the unknown. To explore means to hold back all previous preconceived notions and expectations. It is essentially about holding a positive intention of learning in mind and letting go of one’s own rules of engagement – as in what is right/wrong and good/bad. By exploring the unknown, one learns new things, unlearns what is no longer useful and re-learns what one has forgotten. Often it is through a period of confusion, unsure-ness, clumsiness and discomfort that one receives a pair of fresh eyes to look at an old situation. This “new perspective” is often the pre-cursor to generating a solution. In other words, in order to achieve a higher level of comfort, one must be willing to be uncomfortable first. 5. Engaging one’s senses In the absence of one’s senses, one cannot learn anything. Conversely, what is learned is stored in the brain sensorily. What is possible is often the ability to see, hear or feel something compelling. Engaging one’s senses enables one to anticipate ways of acting in an unknown or unfamiliar situation. Neurologically proven by Joseph Le Doux, a world-renowned neurologist whose work has been cited by Daniel Goldman (Emotional Quotient) and Martin Seligman (Learned Optimism), the human brain cannot differentiate between what is vividly imagined and what is actually experienced. Again, this ability of the brain to “vividly imagine” is primarily in the domain of the Neo-Cortex. Utilising one’s senses during any form of planning, problem-solving or innovation is a crucial step towards seeing, expressing and mobilizing more possibilities. Intensifying and enriching this mental skill greatly enhances all areas of one’s performance. 6. Harnessing emotional mastery The limbic brain has vast interconnections with the neo-cortex. It is the seat of what humans value in life and it greatly influences the higher brain functions as in whether the neo-cortex has a "good" idea or not, whether it feels true and right. Therefore upholding values and qualities like openness, optimism (focused on the positives), willingness to explore, learning by doing and acknowledging one’s own action supports one in becoming more “future-fit.” Such human values and qualities come with certain core states such as © Barney Wee, Mind Transformations Pte Ltd 6 confidence, patience, calmness, focus, determination, perseverance etc. Harnessing, capturing and anchoring such states enable one to be at one’s best, more often. 7. Valuing feedback Being sensorily alert to feedback is a critical skill in making in-course corrections. Often in the course of a project, one has to make adjustments as to whether one stays with a certain way of doing things (reinforce) or find new ways to make progress (corrections). The idea is to keep what is working and change what is inhibiting success. Being aware of the feedbacks coming from people and situations enables one to minimise mistakes, keep oneself current and updated, anticipate problems, determine factors that contribute to success and therefore plan ahead with greater efficiency. Devising implements for documenting and benchmarking progress greatly minimizes downtime and frees people up to do more future-oriented developments. 8. Acknowledging oneself Related to the mechanism of feedback, acknowledging oneself is about giving credit to one’s own work and accepting one’s own accomplishments authentically. Making time throughout the day (no more than 3 minutes) and especially at the end of one’s day to reflect and specifically pinpoint what has been attempted, achieved and learned helps to cement one’s own awareness of growth. Such reinforcements and re-calibrations on a daily basis build up one’s confidence in a very tangible manner. When ritualized, self-acknowledgement helps to both stabilize crucial elements in our identity and at the same time, keeps us updated with what’s current to remain poised for change. © Barney Wee, Mind Transformations Pte Ltd 7 Post Exercise Reflection: Topic / Title of exercise: ____________________________________________ 1. What new awareness or useful discoveries did you make? Please state it positively. 2. What do you need to improve/strengthen on? Why is it important to you (value)? 3. Which situations in your work/life could you apply this? (Context: where and when) 4. What specific actions will you do more of? What specific actions will you do less of? 5. In relation to question 4, how would you know that you’re improving? List out at least three evidences. © Barney Wee, Mind Transformations Pte Ltd 8