Princess More Tears to Cry

[...]... they need transportation to university or to go shopping? How should they get to their destinations? If they do not have access to a hired driver, or are not brave enough to take a bus or taxi, they will have to use their two feet to take them where they need to go!” Knowing my daughters as I do, I knew that their angry spiral of accusations would expand, and I was right I had little time to ponder before Amani bounded into action, her face flashing dark red with anger... hope a good future is waiting when one of the young princes like Abdullah is selected to be king If it is my brother, he will put an end to this nonsense Then, and only then, will I return to live in my country.” I was about to say a lot more, to tell Maha that I happened to know that Abdullah had no desire to be king of Saudi Arabia, as my son is not a man who has that spark of desire to rule others, but just then I heard the voices of various family members as they made their way down the long corridor to the sitting... Walking slowly, he leered at one of our maids, a very pretty Indonesian girl named Sabeen, meaning one who follows Sabeen, who was new to our household, was an innocent girl, happy to be making a nice salary to send home to her parents to pay for the education for her two younger brothers I reminded myself to warn Sabeen to stay far from Ali’s reach The dear girl was a lovely addition to our staff, and I meant to protect her from all lecherous men This vow included men in my own family, as my brother and... On Kareem’s instructions, Abdullah drove at speed to the home of our family physician, a very experienced Palestinian doctor who lived only a short distance from us Abdullah was told to bring him to us to tend to our daughter By this time I felt myself going mad Amani lay like a corpse Kareem was pointing out that our daughter was breathing steadily, so there was no need for me to yank at my hair, something I did not even... Amani, who is close with one of his daughters, had recently reported that Ali had even begun to drink alcohol to excess As one who once told falsehoods and slipped unnoticed to drink prohibited alcohol, I know too well that such noxious liquids are bad for the human body, as well as for our human psychological wellbeing I am pleased to say that I have not taken a drop of the forbidden liquid in more than seven years, although I admit it was very hard to break the addictive pattern of turning to alcohol each time I was... him from this earth, I fear that he will leave convinced that all women are born only to serve men in the bedroom and in the kitchen At that moment Little Sultana ran away to greet Maha, who was walking into the room with the confidence and stunning power of a woman who knows she controls her own destiny Everyone turned to look at my dramatic daughter, who grows more physically exquisite with each passing year I silently prayed to Allah to allow Maha to leave her hostilities against our land and its traditions at... his older sister was so beautiful that his parents were saving her for someone with enough gold to match her weight When such a man came along, they would agree to the golden dowry Salman, who had reached the age when young men yearn to marry, took an interest in a woman who must be more physically magnificent than a movie star He asked to see a photograph A picture was finally produced and Salman was instantly smitten The young woman was lovely enough to trigger a young man’s dreams... country has moved much too slowly But I thank God that I lived to see the day when a large number of Saudi women have the opportunity to achieve their dreams I also thank God that I am in a unique position to tell you about these extraordinary women Meanwhile, the women of Saudi Arabia, whether royal or not, are pushing against two thousand years of history Our only hope is to push together We are reaching out for your help... She believed that the “guided tour” by Elizabeth Taylor would bring Dunia many hours of pleasure Actually, the book brought on a bizarre illness that created a crisis Dunia became hysterical, a woman without clear thoughts, crying out that she must have the Krupp diamond, a 33.19-carat stone that had been a gift from Taylor’s husband, the actor Richard Burton Dunia wept for hours over a second diamond, a 69.42-carat stone Burton had also purchased for his wife... Jean Sasson so that my story, and those of other women in my country, might be revealed to the world Two further books followed It was the first time that a female of the royal family had dared to speak out, to alert the world to the fact that a princess was being denied personal freedom In publishing those books, I made a bold move, changing my life and the lives of many other women My story was a bestseller in many countries, and I have been told that my spirited fight against discrimination has . members ListofCharacters AppendixA:FactsAboutSaudiArabia AppendixB:Glossary AppendixC:SaudiArabia:Timeline AbouttheAuthor AlsobyJeanSasson Excerptfrom Princess: ATrueStoryofLifeBehindtheVeilinSaudiArabia ExcerptfromYasmeena'sChoice MapofSaudiArabia Introduction by Princess SultanaAlSa’ud Iama princess whocanneverbequeen.Thisisbecauseinmycountryonlythemenandthewindare completelyfree.Underthecurrentcircumstances,neverwillawomanbeelevated to thehighestrankin ourSaudimonarchy. More thantwentyyearshavepassedsinceIfirstrevealedthedarksecretsofmylandinthebook Princess: ATrueStoryofLifeBehindtheVeilinSaudiArabia.Ihavereturned to tellyoumuch more. Forthosewhohavealreadyreadaboutmylife,thisbookwillbringyouintothepresentday.Forthose whohavenotreadthefirstthreeinstallments,pleaseallowme to introduceyou to mystory,aswellas provideinformationregardingthefateofwomenborninSaudiArabia. IwilltellyouwhatlifeislikeformanyfemalesinSaudiArabiainthistheyearAD2014ofthe Gregoriancalendar,andAH1435oftheIslamiccalendar. Menareallowed to havefourwivesandlimitlessconcubines.Mymotherwasthefirstofmy father’swives,butshegavebirth to onlyoneson,thechiefmeasureofawoman’srespectandstatusinmy country.Myfathersoonmarriedotherwomen,whichwasapermanentanguishformymother. Iwastheyoungestofmymother’selevenchildren—onesonandtendaughters.AlthoughIama royal princess andwasrepeatedlytoldthatIwasachildofprivilege,thiswasnotmyreality.OnceIwas able to fullycomprehendourlives,Iunderstoodthatmystatuswas,infact,verylow.Ilivedina luxuriouspalace,wherebeautyandwealthsurroundedme.Yetthesetrappingsofroyaltymeantlittle becauseIwasachildwhowantednothing more thantheloveofbothmyparents.Althoughmydarling motheradoredmewithherwholeheart,myfatherattributednovalue to females—inparticularafemale childasobstinateandboldasIwasfromthemomentIwasable to voicemythoughts.Iknewthatmy fatherwascapableofgreatlovebecauseheprovidedaffectioninabundancewhenitcame to mybrother, Ali.But,despitemyoverpoweringdesire to winmyfather’slove,Ineverachievedmyobjective. Althoughourfourpalaceswerefilledwithservants to granthiseverywish,Aliwasnever satisfied.Hedemandedthatallwholivedinthepalacepander to him,includinghismotherandsiblings. ButIneverdidperformasmybrotherordered.Iwastheyoungestofthedaughtersandsmallformyage. Asthebaby,Iwasgreatlypamperedbymyninesistersandmymother,whotreatedmelikealittledoll to dressinfrillydresses.ThusAliwasnottheonlyspoiledchildinourhome.Feelingmyselftheequalof mybrother,Iwascomfortablepesteringhimdailywithhigh-spiriteddisobedience. ButthedaycamewhenIfirstgraspedthatoutsideofourfamilycircleofwomenIwasnot consideredthelittletreasuretheyhadledme to believe.Avividmemorygrievesmetoday,manyyears later.ItisofthedaywhenIfirstgraspedthatmyfatherdidnotlovemeashelovedhisson.Onthat miserabledayitwasdemonstrated to methatmybrotherwouldruleoverme,atleastuntilIwasold enough to outwithim. TheincidentoccurredonlybecauseIdeclined to giveAlimyapple.Ratherthanbend to hiswill,I atetheappleasquicklyaspossible,causingmybrother to burninfury.ThemomentAliwasable to speak throughhisrage,heshoutedforOmar,whowasourEgyptiandriver,andwhoreportedonly to ourfather. SuddenlyOmar’shugehandsliftedmeintotheairandIwastaken to confrontmystern-facedfather,who glaredatmewithtrueexasperation.I,amerefemale,haddared to refuseawishvoicedbymybrother,a malechildwhowasborn to rule.Iwas to paydearlythatdayfornothing more thaneatingmyownapple. Aftermyfatherslappedmeintheface,hetoldOmarthatAliwasmymaster:Aliwas to begivenallmy toys;hewas to holdthepower to saywhatIcouldorcouldnotdo,includingwhenImighteatmydaily meals.Howmybrothergloated!Iwastorturedbyhimformanyweeksuntilhebecameinterestedinother pursuits. Fromthatdayforward,AliandIweredevotedenemies.AlthoughhebestedmewhenIwasvery young,asIgrewolderIdiscoveredthatAliwasnotascleverashislittlesister,andhewouldfallforany deception.Isoonsurpassedmybrother’swit,andthishasneverchanged—eventoday,therearemany timeswhenIcannotcontaintheurge to dupemybrotherontrivialissues,sillymattersthatcausehim muchembarrassment,forhelacksasenseofhumor;heisamanwhoisasarrogantandoverbearingasthe childheoncewas. Thesaddestmomentofmylifecamewhenmymotherpassedaway,dyingfartooyoungandleaving hershatteredyoungestwithoutamother.Myoldersisterstookovermycare,allofthempromisingmy motheronherdeathbedthatthey’dlookafterherlittleSultana.Motherfearedformyfuturesafety,she said,forSaudiArabiawasnotacountrythatreactedfavorably to defiantfemales. Shewasright to worry.Everythingwasenormouslydifficultforfemalesinthosedays.Althoughthe rushofoilwealthintroducedmodernization to ourdesertkingdom,wewerestilllivingintheninth centurywhenitcame to femalefreedoms.Socialandlegalrestrictionsagainstwomenwerenumerous. Manywomenstilllivedinpurdah,isolatedintheirhomes.Allwomenhadamaleguardian,amaninthe familywhosedutyitwas to regulatebehaviorineverycircumstanceofthatwoman’slife.Fewgirls attendedschools,andthosewhodidweresolelyofwealthyfamiliesandtheireducationwasconfined to limitedfieldsofstudy.Allgirlswereveiledatpuberty.Manyyounggirlsevenmarriedatpubertyor shortlyafterward.Thoseyounggirlsmarriedwhomevertheirfamiliesdictatedtheywouldmarry.Most girlswedafirstorsecondcousin,aculturaltraditionthatcreatedmanygenetichealthissuesforthe childrenofsuchunions.Womenwerenotallowed to drive.Whengirlsgraduatedfromschool,their familieswouldnotpermitthem to work,evenifappropriatejobswereavailable.Truthfully,everythingin normallifewaskeptdistantfromfemales.Menruledbyfear,buttheywerealsofearfulofwhatmight happenshouldanyhintofindividualitybeexpressedbywomen.Severepunishmentswereroutineforthe mostinnocentofbehavior.Shouldagirlspeak to aboynotofherfamily,thepunishmentcouldbelife- threatening.Ipersonallyexperiencedthetruehorrorofthiswhenagoodfriend,whowassoboldthatshe metwithforeignmen,wasput to deathontheordersofherfather.Shewasdrownedinthefamily swimmingpool,afavoritemethodinthosedays,whenfatherswereable to murderwaywarddaughters. Indeed,forthisheinousdeedhereceivedcongratulationsfromall.Anothergirlfriendwasmarried to an oldmaninasmallvillageforthesameactofyouthfulrebellion. ButasImaturedfromachildintomyteenageyears,therewerehintsofthechangesthatwere coming.Iwasthefirstinmyfamilyallowed to meetmyhusbandprior to marriage.Despiteourbeing closelysupervisedbythefemalesofbothfamilies,theoccasionofourmeetingwasanastounding triumph.Perhapsthiswasindicativeofpositivechanges,forduringthissameperiodoftime more girls gainedaccess to schools,anastutedecisionenforcedbymyownfamilyofroyalmen.Notsurprisingly, thecrusade to furtherfemaleeducationwasfoughtfiercelybymanymeninthekingdom,acampaignled bytheclericsandreligiousradicals.Thosemendemandedthattheroleofthefemaleremaininthedark ages.SuddenlytheheatoftheSaudidesertnolongercamefromthesun,butfromthefieryclashofideas regardingtheopposingviewsaboutwomen’slives. Iampleased to havebeenasparkinthisfire. Educationhasbecometheimpetusforwomen’sambitions.Witheducation,newideasstimulate femalebrains. IhaveobservedthatasSaudiwomenbecomeeducated,Saudimentooarebecoming more enlightenedas to thecontributioneducatedwomencanmake to Saudilife,bothprivateandpublic. Educationbenefitsusall,foroncewomenpossessavoicethatcanbeheardbytheirmen,theyboldly fightfortheirdaughters.Whilechangehasbeenpainfullygradual,oncestarted,ithasconsistentlymoved inapositivedirection. Duringtheseyearsofstruggle,Ibecamethemotherofthreechildren—asonandtwodaughters. OnceIwasthemotherofdaughters,Ifoughteven more aggressivelyforthehumanitarianissuesthat affectedthechildrenofallSaudicitizens.Ibelievethatifourdaughtersareunhappy,oursonsalsowill feelthewindofunhappinessintheirownlives.Newsocialandculturalgainsforwomenareequally beneficialforthemenofSaudiArabia. Twenty-twoyearsago,ItookadangerousstepandcollaboratedwithmyAmericanwriterfriend JeanSassonsothatmystory,andthoseofotherwomeninmycountry,mightberevealed to theworld. Twofurtherbooksfollowed.Itwasthefirsttimethatafemaleoftheroyalfamilyhaddared to speakout, to alerttheworld to thefactthata princess wasbeingdeniedpersonalfreedom.Inpublishingthose books,Imadeaboldmove,changingmylifeandthelivesofmanyotherwomen.Mystorywasa bestsellerinmanycountries,andIhavebeentoldthatmyspiritedfightagainstdiscriminationhas matteredgreatly to womenofnearlyeverynationalityandreligion.Ihavelearnedthatmanythousandsof youngwomenhavetakenupthefight,inspiredbymylifestory.ForthisIamhappy,despitethefactthatI sufferedgreatlyformyaudacity,bafflingmysisters,provokingmyhusband,andenragingmyfatherand mybrother.ButIhavenoregrets,forIamawomanwhowillnotbebulliedintosilence.Istandproud thatthethreebookswrittenaboutmyliferevealthepositivesandnegativesofmypeopleandmyland, bothofwhichIlovegreatly. Ibelieveinopendialogueandknowthatwithouteducation,awareness,andtherightofevery citizen to liveindignity,nocountrycanadvance.ButevenasIspeakthesewordsImustadmitapainful truth:whilesomechangehascome to mypeopleandmycountry,manychallengesremain to bemet. So,whatgenderreformshaveoccurredinSaudiArabiasincethetimeIwasastrong-willedyoung girlwhoboldlybattledblindfavoritismformalesandunfairnesstowardfemales?Theansweris complicated. TrueadvanceshavebeenmadeforSaudifemales,principallyineducation.Myfamily’sroyal embassyinWashington,D.C.,acknowledgesthatSaudiArabia’seducationsystemhasgonethroughan astonishingtransformation,makingeducationavailableforallSaudiswhochoose to attendschool. ThismakesitclearthatthemenofmyfamilyhavemadeeducationforeverySaudicitizenaprime goal.Nothinghaschangedthefaceofmycountry,andthemenandwomenlivingtheretoday, more than access to education.Likeotherroyals,Ihavemadeeducationafavoritecharityandhavespentagreat dealofmoney to assistineducatingouryoung,aswellasyounggirlsinotherMuslimlands.Theonly SaudiArabiancitizenswhodonotreceiveeducationarethefemalechildrenoftheill-informed.My governmentdoesnotbecomeinvolvedshouldafatherrefuseoffersofeducationforhisdaughters.Thisis somethingthatIhopewillchangeintheyears to come. Otherfactors,suchastravelandtheInternet(linkedtogetherwitheducation),aremakingSaudi Arabiaaverydifferentplacefromthedesertkingdomofmyyouth.ManySaudicitizensarefinancially independent.Withaccess to money,largenumbersofSaudistraveltheworld.Travelhasopenedtheir minds to otherworlds,wherewomenhaverights to liveinfreedom.Access to theInternethasincreased thepaceofchange.MostyoungSaudisareequippedwithcomputersandiPadsandotherelectronic equipmentthatfostersawarenessthroughaccess to newsfrommanyothercountries.Witheducation, travel,andInternetaccess,theyoungpeopleofSaudiArabiarealizethattheircountryandtheirpersonal freedomareimperiledbymenwhowishwomen to remainslaves. Despitethesepositivepoints,Imustsadlyconfessthatevenafteryearsoftoiling to createchangein thelivesofwomeninSaudiArabia,theresultsareerraticandunpredictable.Norulesareclearlyset whenitcomes to females.Alldecisionspertaining to femalebehaviorstillremaininthehandsofthemen rulingafamily.Ifthemeninawoman’sfamilyareeducatedandfair-minded,femaleshavethe opportunityforhappiness.Ifthemeninawoman’sfamilyareunenlightenedandcruel,femalessufferdue to maleignorance. WhenIwasachild,lifewasroutinelybrutalformostwomenofSaudiArabia.NowthatIaman adult,somewomenhavebenefitedfromchange—butstillthequalityoflifeforafemaleinSaudiArabia isdependentonmales,whohavethepower to refusefreedom. Myfriends,hereiswhatlifeislikeforSaudiwomeninthetwenty-firstcentury: -I. inSaudi Arabia.Andsonowwepushforthekindofchangethatbringsguarantees:weneed to makeitillegalfor aman to abuseanywoman.Wemustpushforthekindofchangethatgivesanadultfemaletheright to makepersonalchoices. Happily,Iamnolongeraloneinmyquest to bringchange to mycountry.TherearemanySaudi womenwhoarepushingforpositivetransformation.Membersofmyfamilyknowsomeofthesewomen.I believethattheworldwouldlike to heartheirextraordinarystories.Forthisreason,Ihaveonceagain venturedbeyondmysafetyzone to telltheworldthetruthaboutSaudiArabia.Iwant to tellyouallthatis happeninginmyland. InthisbookIwillrevealchangesinmypersonallife.Thereismuch to tellaboutmembersofmy family,thelivesofmychildrenandgrandchildren,andmysistersandniecesandnephews.Due to his annoyingpersonality,thereareadditionalsurprisingstories to shareaboutmybrotherAli.Myfatheris stillwiththeliving,buthehasagedpoorly.Sadly,heisstillamanwhobelievesthatmalesshouldrule andfemalesshouldobedientlysubmit. Nothingis more importantthanknowingaboutthelivesofbravewomen,however.Ibelievethat readerswant to knowwhatishappening to ordinarySaudiwomen,thosewhodonothavethe opportunitiesbroughtaboutbywealth.Thesewomenfacemanychallengesunknown to royalwomen,and forthatreasonIholdtheminthehighestregard. Ihaveselectedtenwomenoutofthemanywhohaveastorythatshouldbetold.TheSaudiwomen youwillmeetinthefollowingpagesarereal—bravewomenwhoareforgingapaththatwillopenupa newworld to allinSaudiArabia. Althoughtheyearsofmylifehavepassedtooquickly,positivechangeinthelivesofwomeninmy countryhasmovedmuchtooslowly.ButIthankGodthatIlived to seethedaywhenalargenumberof Saudiwomenhavetheopportunity to achievetheirdreams.IalsothankGodthatIaminauniqueposition to tellyouabouttheseextraordinarywomen. Meanwhile,thewomenofSaudiArabia,whetherroyalornot,arepushingagainsttwothousand yearsofhistory.Ouronlyhopeis to pushtogether.Wearereachingoutforyourhelp.MayGodguideyour hand to ourhands.IfallwomencometogetherundertheblessingsofGod,perhapsonedaytherewillbea queenofSaudiArabia. Withheartfeltgoodwishesforallwhosokindlycareaboutme,andotherwomeninSaudiArabia,  Princess SultanaAlSa’ud ChapterOne FortheLoveofDaughters “Surelyitmustbedeath!”oneofourIndonesianmaidsbreathlesslycalledoutfromthebutler’sgalley. Ifrozeinplacelistening to thesoundsofhigh-pitchedfemalevoicesresonatingfromourmain familysittingroom.IshiveredindismaywhenIrecognizedtheheatedvoicesasbelonging to mytwo daughters,MahaandAmani.MyeasystrollturnedintoaspeedygaitasImovedrapidly to findthem. Whatweremygirlsfightingaboutnow? MyoldestdaughterMahahasclaimedEuropeasherhomeforthepastsevenyears,returning to SaudiArabiaforannualvisitsonly.AlthoughKareemandIoftenvisitMaha,Amanihadnotseenher sisterin more thanayear.Yetevenafteralongabsencefromtheother,fromthemomentMahareturned, mygirlsbecameinstantlyenthusiasticwiththeirverbalsparring,returningonce more to theirrepetitive arguments,disputingnearlyeveryaspectofdailylifeforwomeninSaudiArabia,somethingtheyhave donesincetheirteenageyears. Onlyamomentwasneededforme to understandthattheircurrentfightrevolvedaroundthelackof Saudifemales’right to driveautomobiles,atopicthatfuelsmanyheatedconversationsinmycountry,and abroad. Maha’svoicewasfilledwithcontemptasshetoldhersister,“Amani,youshouldjointheprotests anddrive!Otherwise,mylittlesister,youcangoonlyasfarasyourfeetcantakeyou,andnotonestep further!” Amanireturnedhersister’shatefulglarebutsaidnothing. Longingforaresponse,MaharemindedAmanithatallSaudigirlsarenotwealthy.“Youareselfish, mysister.YouknowthatveryfewSaudiwomenhavefull-timedrivers.Whatdothosewomendowhen theyneedtransportation to universityor to goshopping?Howshouldtheyget to theirdestinations?Ifthey donothaveaccess to ahireddriver,orarenotbraveenough to takeabusortaxi,theywillhave to use theirtwofeet to takethemwheretheyneed to go!” KnowingmydaughtersasIdo,Iknewthattheirangryspiralofaccusationswouldexpand,andI wasright. Ihadlittletime to ponderbeforeAmaniboundedintoaction,herfaceflashingdarkredwithanger assheleaptlikeadesertgazelletowardhereldersister.IfIhadnotbeeninattendance,mytwoadult daughterswouldhavecertainlyexchangedblows,possiblygrappling to thefloor to physicallyfightas theyhadoncedoneaschildren. IseizedMahabyherupperarmandpulledwithallmystrength.Asitwas,Mahatumbledintome, asAmanistumbledandcollidedwithKareem,myhusband,whohadenteredthesittingroominpursuitof theexplosionoffemalecries. Mydarlinghusbandisalong-sufferingfather.Ourdaughters’continualbattlesexhausthim.Prior to thislatestvisit,KareemhadannouncedthathewouldnolongertolerateMahaandAmaniconducting themselvesaschildren.Afterall,bothdaughtersaregrownwomen.Amaniwasnowamarriedwoman andmother,whileMahalivesasasingleadultinoneofEurope’smajorcities.Mahawasworkingasan executiveinoneofherfather’sbusinesses,enjoyinganormalsociallifewithherfriends.Timeandagain, Mahahasdemonstratedherability to easilymanagemostadultsituations,buthermaturityforsakesher whensheiswithheryoungersister. Kareemfleetinglygazedatmeindisbeliefbeforeraisinghisvoice to shout,soas to beheardover thesputteringprotestofAmaniandthewrathfulsquawkproducedbyMaha.“Thiswillcease!Now!” Kareemcommanded. Althoughmydaughtershaveoftenignoredtheirmother’sdemands,theyrarelyfail to respond suitably to theirfather’sorders.Ifeltmyselfthespectator to amiracleastheircriesandinsultssilenced instantly. AtthatmomentmysisterSarawalkedsoundlesslyintotheroom.Shehadarrivedearlyforthe plannedfamilyparty to celebrateMaha’svisit.Sara’sexpressionwasasusualappealinglycomposed,but herbigblackeyesgrewsignificantlybiggerwhensheobservedouroutlandishscene. Sara’slipscurvedintoasmile.“Mydearnieces,doesfightingstillholdsuchcharmforyou,even aftertwobrokenbonesandachippedtooth?” Sarawasrecallingthemostviolentofmydaughters’battles,afternine-year-oldAmanihad foolishlystrungathintripwireacrossthebackhallwaythatled to aspecialroomholdingnewlyborn kittens.Amanibelievedherkittens to besuchtreasuresthatsheendlesslyobsessedthatsomeonemight attempt to stealtheanimalsandsellthemintheanimalsouk. Asfatewouldhaveit,Mahahadbeentheunintendedvictimafterrushingunsuspectingalongthe hallway.Aftertrippingoverthewire,Maha’sviolentfallhadresultedintwobrokenwrists.WhenAmani heardthenoise,shehadraced to discovertheidentityofthekittythief,only to findhersisterwrithingin pain.Amaniangrilyaccusedhersisterofplanning to stealallthekittens. WhenAmaniwasateenager,ourfamilytraveled to Meccaforthepilgrimage.Duringthereligious event,Amani’sreligiousfaithwastransformed;onceachildwhosefaithwasdormant,sheemergeda determinedyoungwomanwhowished to embraceallaspectsofourIslamicfaithwithunnervingintensity. Sincethatlife-changingreligiousexperience,Amanihadhadtheunfortunatehabitofthrowingashadow ofdoubtoneveryone’sbehavior,oftenaccusingthosearoundherofmoralorcriminaldeeds. WhenAmanitried to peerunderneathMaha’sbody to makesuretherewerenokittensflattened there,anenragedMahaelbowedhersisterintheface,breakingatooth. Whiletheeventwasnotamusingatthetime—asKareemandIhadhad to explain to ourfamily physiciantheembarrassingnatureofourdaughters’injuries—Sara’scommentandhercoolnaturewere theperfectangerantidote.KareemandIexchangedalookandlaughedloudlyatthememoryofthattime longagowhenourdaughters’behaviortoooftenresembledthatofwildbeastssetlooseinourhome. AhumorlessAmanididnotapproveofourlaughter.Sheeasedherselfawayfromherfather, brushingherdress’sbodicewithherhandasthoughnothing more worryingthanaspillhadoccurred.She thengreetedherAuntieSarawitharoutineexchangeofkisses,changingthesubjectbyinquiringabout Sara’ssickgrandchild,whoselittlelifehadrecentlybeenthreatenedbyaseriousboutofwhooping cough.Maha,astriumphantasaconqueringwarrior,touchedherfavoriteauntie’sshoulderinagestureof affectionbeforeretreating to pouracolddrinkmadeoffreshlysqueezedlemons. SheandAmanithenchose to occupyoppositesidesoftheroom,portrayingtheperfectroleof strangers to oneanother. Ilovemytwodaughtersasmuchasanymothercanlovetheirchildren,butevenasadultsthey continue to testmypatience.YearsagoIhadclung to thehopethatadulthoodwouldbringmaturity,butI wassadlymistaken.Staringatmydaughters,Isawthatbothworeanexpressionofhaughtysatisfaction.I foughtthestrongestdesire to smackthosefaces. EvenasImadesmalltalkwithSaraandKareem,Iwasquestioningourlife,wonderingwhytwo daughtersofthesameparentscouldnotfindonething to agreeupon.Fromtheirteenageyears,our daughtershaveclashedoneverything. Mahawasbornastrong,free-spiritedgirlwhotookvigilantnoticeatayoungageofthecultural andsocialconstraintsplacedonSaudifemales.Overtheyears,herragefesteredattheunfairnessofour country’ssocialcustomsregardinggender;shegrew to detesteveryrestrictionandoftenvoicedher resolve to testeachone.Amaniembracedthemostconservative,traditionalbeliefsofourlandsolongas theyweredirectedatfemales.Thereweretimeswhenitseemed to methatAmanibelievedtheshackles confiningfemaleswerenotharshenough. Afteryearsoftraumaticepisodesandincident,tranquilitycame to ourhomeonlyonceMahahad persuadedus,herparents,thatshewouldneverknowtruehappinesswhileforced to liveinSaudiArabia. KareemandIfeltrealconcernthatshewouldindeedpurposelytesteverystringentsocialandtriballaw regardingwomenifcompelled to resideinthekingdom.OurMahaisfearlessandunflinchingwhenit comes to authority.Perhapsshewouldcommitanactconsideredsoculturallyseriousthattherewouldbe achorusofcommunaldisapprovalfollowedbyaclamorforouruncle,theking, to makeanexampleof ourdaughter. Aftermanyextendedconversations,KareemandIarrangedforMaha to attenduniversityinEurope. Happily,ourdaughter’saggressivepersonalitylightenedconsiderablyaftermovingaway.Shewasso contentinEuropethatwelateracceptedthatshewouldalwaysmakeherhomefarfromourdesert kingdom.Fromthattimeon,Mahamadeonlyraretrips to SaudiArabia,althoughweoftenvisitedher. Unlikehersister,AmanicherishesfemalelifeinSaudiArabia,oftenstatingthatthereisnocountry sogoodforwomenasourland.Shebelievesherself to belovinglyprotectedfromthevicesoftheworld, ratherthanbeinginhibitedfrommakingpersonalchoiceswithouttheinputofherfather,whowas,and stillremains,hermaleguardian.Prior to arrangingAmani’smarriage,Kareeminsisteduponthelegal stipulationthathe,herfather,remainedherguardian.Myhusbandcouldnotabidethethoughtofanyman holdingsuchpoweroverhischild.According to theselegaldocuments,atKareem’sdeath,Amani’s eldestsonwillbeherguardian,regardlessofwhatagehemightbeatthetimeofhisgrandfather’s demise.Soitmaycome to passthatachildmightbenamedAmani’sguardian.Forme,thisisaridiculous concept,oneIbelievewomenshouldfightwithalltheirmight,butmydaughterclaimsshewillbearno grudgeshouldthedaycomewhenshewillbeanadultwomanruledbyaguardianwhoishermalechild! FewpeopleoutsidethekingdomunderstandthateverySaudifemaleisbornintothemostrigid, male-dominatedsystem,whereamalewillbeherguardian.Thisisthecaseevenintheyear2014(AH 1435intheIslamiccalendar).Thisappointedmaleguardianhascompletecontroloverthefemale,from herfirstmomentofbirth to thelastsecondofherdeath.Althoughtheobligationsofaguardianarenot writteninSaudilaw,theguardian’srights to rulemightaswellbecarvedinstone.Saudicourtsrecognize obedience to theguardianaslaw,evenifthefemaleisafulladult.Awomanneedsauthorizationfromher guardianbeforeshecanattendschool,marry,divorce,openabankaccount,seekemployment,oreven havemanymedicaltreatmentsincludingsurgery.IhaveknownpersonallyoffouroccasionswhenaSaudi womanhasdiedbecauseherguardianhasbeentravelingandwasunavailable to providepermissionfor emergencysurgery. NowomaninSaudiArabiacanescapetheguardian’smantle,wrappedtightlyaroundherbody, keepingherapermanentprisonerofherguardian’severywish.Themaleguardianisherpersonalking, there to decideeveryaspectofherlife.Suchaguardiancanrulethatawomanhassulliedthefamily honorandshouldbeput to death,shouldhesochoose.Thereisnooneintheland to intervene,noteven thepoliceormembersofgovernmentsecurity.Iamspeakingthetruth.Iwilladmitthatitisunusualthese daysforaguardian to rulethathiswifeordaughtershouldbeput to death,butshouldhedecide to doso, deathwillcome to thatwoman.SuchisthelifeofaSaudifemaleexistingundertheruleofaguardian.In fact,severalcaseshaveappearedintheinternationalnewsrecently,thoughothersgounreported. Horrifyingcrimesofmurderwillberevealedinalaterchapter. EvenI,awomancapableofcaringformyself,haveneverlivedadaywithoutaguardian.Myfather wasmyguardianuntilImarriedKareem.Forme,myfatherwasaveryunkindguardian,althoughIam alivetodaybecauseheneverconsideredmurderingmewhenIbroughtshameanddisappointment to him. Atthetimeofourmarriage,Kareemacceptedthemantleofguardianshipovermyfather’syoungest daughter.Shouldmyhusbandpassfromthisearthbeforeme,mysonAbdullahwillbemyguardian. Admittedly,mysituationissaferthanthatofmostSaudiwomenbecausemyhusbandandItruly loveeachother.Manyhavebeenthetimesthatmyhusbandclaimshewouldnotwish to liveifIwere dead,soIhavealwaysreasonedthathewouldneverkillme.Kareem’slovingfeelingsformegivemea formidablepowerandasenseofsecurity.So,sinceIleftmyfamilyhome,guardianshiphasposedonlya negligiblepersonaldilemmaforme. Actually,myhusbandlovinglyspokeaboutguardianshipearlyoninourmarriage.Irememberthat dayasifitwereonlyafewweeksago.Myhandsomehusbandsworeuponourmostholybook,the Koran,saying,“Sultana,weareguardiansintrust.Iamyourguardian.Youaremyguardian.Wewilllook to theotherforhelpineveryproblemoflife.” OnlyoncedidKareembreakhisvow,andthatwaswhenhefoolishlyattempted to forceme to acceptasecondwife.Thatplandidnotgowellformyhusband.Thosewhoknowmepersonally,orwho havereadmystory,knowthatIwasthevictorinthatmaritalstruggle.This,Ibelieve,isbecauseIam willing to dieifIfeelstronglyenoughaboutasituation,whilemyhusbandcarefullyguardshisownlife, aswellasmyown. ButnowIhad more problemsthanguardianship to contendwith,forIheardMahacontinue to speak underherbreath,insultingAmani’sSaudieducation. IwashappythatAmaniwascollegeeducated.Infact,duringherhighschoolyearsAmanihad expressedlittledesire to attenduniversity,assertingthatagoodMuslimwomanneedednothing more than ahusbandandchildren.Iwasshatteredbymychild’sresolve to avoidafulleducation.Kareemhandled thesituationwiselywhenhepointedoutthattherewereimportantstepsshehadnottaken,namelya universityeducation.ThesubjectofahusbandcouldonlyberaisedonceAmanihadearnedheruniversity degree,hetoldher. Afterspeakingwithreligiousauthorities,Amanibecamesatisfiedthateducationwasnotatodds withourIslamicfaith.Onceplacatedthus,sheenrolledintheArabiclanguageandliteraturedepartment oftheArtandHumanitiesCollegeattheRiyadhUniversityforWomen,laterrenamedthe Princess Nora bintAbdulRahmanUniversityafterthemostbelovedsisterofourgrandfather,thefirstking,AbdulAziz AlSa’ud. To oursurpriseandparentalglee,Amanislippedeasilyintocontinuingeducation,admitting thatsherelishedherclassesintheArabiclanguageandliteraturedepartment.Sheearnedhighmarksin allclassesandgraduatedafterfouryearsofstudy. IdreamtthatAmanimightbeateacherofliterature to othergirls,forshewasverypassionateinher learning,butsoonfoundmyselfsighingwithsadnesswhenAmaniannouncedthatshewouldneverwork. Thereweretoomanypossibilitiesofmeetingmennotofherfamily to chanceenteringtheworldofthe workingwoman.Shewouldnevertalkwith,orworkwith,anymanotherthanherhusband,father, brother,son,orotherclosemalerelative.Amaniclaimedthatherlearningwasundertakensothatshe mightbetterrepresentherreligion,faith,andIslamicvalues,andalso,mostimportant, to beabetter mother to herchildren. Kareemtoldmenot to protest:“Sultana,donotforgetthat58percentofcollegestudentsinSaudi Arabiaarefemale,yetonly14percentofthosegirlscanfindjobs.ItisjustaswellthatAmanidoesnot fillapositiontrulyneededbyanotherSaudigirl.” Igrimacedathiswords,yetIcouldnotdenythatKareemspokeawoefultruth.WhileAmaniwould neverneedasalaryfromajob to providelife’snecessities,ourcountryisfilledwitheducatedgirlswho areanxiousformuch-neededemployment.CertainlyIamdelightedthatsomanySaudigirlsarebeing allowed to attendschool,whichwasnotalwaysthecaseinmycountry. Yet,forwomeninSaudiArabia,assoonastheyovercomeoneobstacle,anotherappears.While educationoffemalesisbecomingacceptedbymostmen,manyfathersbalkattheideaoftheirdaughters’ working;theywant to ensurethatmenwhoarenotmembersofthefamilydonothavephysicalaccess to theirdaughters.Additionally,manyhusbandsrefusepermissionfortheirwives to work,althoughmost promiseotherwiseduringtheengagementperiod.Furthermore,manybusinessesdonotlikefemales’ workingintheirestablishments,dreadingthatthemixofmenandwomenwillcreateproblemswiththe religiousestablishment.Angry-heartedclericsoftenassertthatfemalesandthedevilwalkhandinhand whenwomenminglewithmenwhoarestrangers to them.PitythepoorSaudiwomanwhowants to use herintellectandhereducation to workinherchosenprofession,fortherearemanybarriersplacedinher path. Withinmonthsofgraduatingfromcollege,Amanipressedforus to arrangeamarriagewitha suitableroyalcousin.Shedidnotnamesomeonespecific,askingonlythathebeamanfromaknown goodroyalfamily,ofgoodcharacterandabeliever.Shesteadfastlyrejectedtheopportunity to viewa photographofhergroom -to- be,socharitablyprovidedbyhissister.Amanibecameincensedwhenher brotherAbdullahtauntedherwithhintsthathercousinwaspleading to seehisfuturebride’sface,andthat he,Abdullah,mightrelievetheyoungman’sanxietybydisplayingaphotographofAmani.Shebecameso distraughtthatshetearfullyentreatedherfather to intervene,andhedid,forbiddingoursonfrom disturbinghissisteranyfurtheronthematter. Abdullahisajoyfulsoulwhorelentlesslyteaseshissisters,butonlyMahashowstheoccasional signofhumorathisantics.Ifonlymytwodaughterssharedthepleasingandoutgoingcharacterofmyson, Iwouldbeamotherfilledwithjoy.Kareem,too,acknowledgesthatoursonistrouble-freeandhasoften said to me,“Sultana,Godchose to rewarduswithanagreeablesonand to challengeourendurancewith AmaniandMaha.” Duringthetimeshewaspersonallyfrustratedwithmeforonethingoranother,hedelightedin addinganinsultandlayingblameonmyheadbysaying:“Mydaughtershaveinheritedtheirmother’s propensityforgeneratingbedlam.”Certainlybothdaughtersarrivedonthisearthpreprogrammedwiththe mostexhaustingdispositions. Butasanoppositecharacter to hermotherandsister,Amaniholdsdeareverything to dowithbeing awomanruledbymen.Sheisalsoapostergirlforstrictobedienceofeverythingreligious.Fromherteen years,sheworethefullblackveilwithenormoussatisfaction,believingitimmoralforanywoman to exposeherfaceinpublic.Shestillcoversherdelicatehandswithblackgloves,andherfeetandlegswith thickblackstockings,regardlessoftheswelteringheatinthekingdom—infact,evenwhenwevisit Jeddah,theportcityknownforitsdrenchinghumidity. IhavealwayssaidthatsuchacostumeisextremelydangerousintheheatofSaudiArabia,andmy concernsweresubstantiatedwhenaheavilypregnantAmaniwasvisitingusatourJeddahhome.Asshe wasnotfamiliarwithsomeofournewlyemployedmalestaff,shetended to wearherheavyveilfromthe momentshewokeuntilsheslept.Mypoordaughterfearedthatoneofthemmightcatchaglimpseofher uncoveredface,althoughthesemenaretrustedandaccustomed to beingaroundthefemalesinourhomes. Onemorningshewalkeddownthestairsfullyveiled,annoyingmeandevensurprisingherAuntie Sara,whogenerallyacceptedthecontrastingbehaviorofmytwodaughterswithasmile.Istarted to voice mythoughts,sayingIfounditridiculousforAmani to fullycoverwhenathome.Besides,Ienjoyhavinga conversationwithsomeoneIcansee,andmostparticularlygetpleasurefromlookinguponthefacesof mychildren.AtthatmomentSaragavemeawarninglookandIbitmylip,askinginstead,“Wouldyou likesomecoldjuice,myprecious?” Amanibrushedpast,saying,“No,Mummy.Ifeellikeastrollinthegarden.”OneofourIndonesian maidsopenedtheheavywoodenandglassdoorsothatAmanicouldenterthespecialwomen’sgarden Kareemhadsocarefullydesignedforthefemalesinourfamily.Thegardenisunusuallylargeandstudded withnumerousenormousplantsandlotsofferns;theeffectwasmeant to bereminiscentofarainforest. Overlyprotectiveofmypregnantdaughter,Icalledout,“Don’tgetlostinallthatgreenery,sweetAmani.” Mydaughterdidnotrespond. SoonSaraandIbecamedistractedwithagameofkomkom;thisisafungameweoftenplaywhen atJeddahbecausethegamerequiresseashellsthatthechildrencansometimesfindontheRedSea shoreline.TwoofSara’seightgrandchildrenplayedwithus.Thegaietyofwatchingthechildrentossthe seashellsonthefloorwasfunandImomentarilyforgotthetime.WhenAbdullahcameintothesittingarea andinquiredaboutAmani,Isuddenlyrealizedthatshehadbeeninthegardenfornearlyanhour. Ijumped to myfeetanddashedoutofthedoorandintothegarden,callingformychild.Igavea terrifiedscreamwhenIsawhersprawledontheground,theblackclothofherabayadrapedoverasmall fernandflutteringintheseabreeze. “Amani!”Ishoutedout. Abdullahquicklyfollowed,aswellasseveralofourdrivers,whohadheardmy cry andcame runningintothegarden,normallyforbidden to them. Foramoment,Ithoughtmypreciouschildwasdead,finallysmothered to deathbyallthatheavy blackfabric,herblackstockingsandgloves.Amani’scostumeprobablyweighed more thanshedid herself,asshehadalwaysbeendelicateinsize.Eventhoughshewaspregnant,sheweighedonlyforty kilograms,lessthanninetypounds. AbdullahandoneofthedriversliftedAmaniandcarriedherintoourair-conditionedhome.While theystruggled to holdhercarefully,forshewasnoticeablypregnant,herveilwasaccidentallypulled fromherfaceandherlongblackskirtwashoistedaboveherwaist. AtthatmomentIdidnotcare,althoughAmani’sblackstockingsonlystretched to herknees,leaving herwhitethighsvisibleforall to see. MydaughterwasplaceduponthelargestofthefivesofasinthesittingareaandIbegan to remove herheavyblackcover.WhenIpulledbackherveil,Icaughtmybreathatthesightofherface,whichwas darkred,almostbruisedinappearance,hereyesrollingback,exposingthewhitesofhereyes,amost alarmingsight. BythistimeoneoftheservantshadlocatedKareeminhisofficeandmyhusbandwasbymyside, callingoutforcoldwetcloths to beplacedonherface.OnKareem’sinstructions,Abdullahdroveat speed to thehomeofourfamilyphysician,averyexperiencedPalestiniandoctorwholivedonlyashort distancefromus.Abdullahwastold to bringhim to us to tend to ourdaughter. BythistimeIfeltmyselfgoingmad.Amanilaylikeacorpse.Kareemwaspointingoutthatour daughterwasbreathingsteadily,sotherewasnoneedforme to yankatmyhair,somethingIdidnoteven knowIwasdoing.(ThoughwhenIpulledmyhandsawayfrommyhead,Isawthatdozensoflongblack hairsweredanglingfrommyclenchedfingers.) Ilookedaround to seethateveryhousemaid,driver,andgardenerwaspackedtightlyintoourlarge sittingarea,butbeforeIhadtime to orderthemall to leave,ourdoctorarrived.I’veneverbeensohappy to seehisbigruddyfaceandshortchubbybody,althoughinthepasthehadsometimesirritatedmewith hishabitoffoldinghishandsbehindhisbackandpacingincircles,mutteringincoherentlywhiledeepin thought. . inSaudi Arabia.Andsonowwepushforthekindofchangethatbringsguarantees:weneed to makeitillegalfor aman to abuseanywoman.Wemustpushforthekindofchangethatgivesanadultfemaletheright to makepersonalchoices. Happily,Iamnolongeraloneinmyquest to bringchange to mycountry.TherearemanySaudi womenwhoarepushingforpositivetransformation.Membersofmyfamilyknowsomeofthesewomen.I believethattheworldwouldlike to heartheirextraordinarystories.Forthisreason,Ihaveonceagain venturedbeyondmysafetyzone to telltheworldthetruthaboutSaudiArabia.Iwant to tellyouallthatis happeninginmyland. InthisbookIwillrevealchangesinmypersonallife.Thereismuch to tellaboutmembersofmy family,thelivesofmychildrenandgrandchildren,andmysistersandniecesandnephews.Due to his annoyingpersonality,thereareadditionalsurprisingstories to shareaboutmybrotherAli.Myfatheris stillwiththeliving,buthehasagedpoorly.Sadly,heisstillamanwhobelievesthatmalesshouldrule andfemalesshouldobedientlysubmit. Nothingis more importantthanknowingaboutthelivesofbravewomen,however.Ibelievethat readerswant to knowwhatishappening to ordinarySaudiwomen,thosewhodonothavethe opportunitiesbroughtaboutbywealth.Thesewomenfacemanychallengesunknown to royalwomen,and forthatreasonIholdtheminthehighestregard. Ihaveselectedtenwomenoutofthemanywhohaveastorythatshouldbetold.TheSaudiwomen youwillmeetinthefollowingpagesarereal—bravewomenwhoareforgingapaththatwillopenupa newworld to allinSaudiArabia. Althoughtheyearsofmylifehavepassedtooquickly,positivechangeinthelivesofwomeninmy countryhasmovedmuchtooslowly.ButIthankGodthatIlived to seethedaywhenalargenumberof Saudiwomenhavetheopportunity to achievetheirdreams.IalsothankGodthatIaminauniqueposition to tellyouabouttheseextraordinarywomen. Meanwhile,thewomenofSaudiArabia,whetherroyalornot,arepushingagainsttwothousand yearsofhistory.Ouronlyhopeis to pushtogether.Wearereachingoutforyourhelp.MayGodguideyour hand to ourhands.IfallwomencometogetherundertheblessingsofGod,perhapsonedaytherewillbea queenofSaudiArabia. Withheartfeltgoodwishesforallwhosokindlycareaboutme,andotherwomeninSaudiArabia,  Princess SultanaAlSa’ud ChapterOne FortheLoveofDaughters “Surelyitmustbedeath!”oneofourIndonesianmaidsbreathlesslycalledoutfromthebutler’sgalley. Ifrozeinplacelistening to thesoundsofhigh-pitchedfemalevoicesresonatingfromourmain familysittingroom.IshiveredindismaywhenIrecognizedtheheatedvoicesasbelonging to mytwo daughters,MahaandAmani.MyeasystrollturnedintoaspeedygaitasImovedrapidly to findthem. Whatweremygirlsfightingaboutnow? MyoldestdaughterMahahasclaimedEuropeasherhomeforthepastsevenyears,returning to SaudiArabiaforannualvisitsonly.AlthoughKareemandIoftenvisitMaha,Amanihadnotseenher sisterin more thanayear.Yetevenafteralongabsencefromtheother,fromthemomentMahareturned, mygirlsbecameinstantlyenthusiasticwiththeirverbalsparring,returningonce more to theirrepetitive arguments,disputingnearlyeveryaspectofdailylifeforwomeninSaudiArabia,somethingtheyhave donesincetheirteenageyears. Onlyamomentwasneededforme to understandthattheircurrentfightrevolvedaroundthelackof Saudifemales’right to driveautomobiles,atopicthatfuelsmanyheatedconversationsinmycountry,and abroad. Maha’svoicewasfilledwithcontemptasshetoldhersister,“Amani,youshouldjointheprotests anddrive!Otherwise,mylittlesister,youcangoonlyasfarasyourfeetcantakeyou,andnotonestep further!” Amanireturnedhersister’shatefulglarebutsaidnothing. Longingforaresponse,MaharemindedAmanithatallSaudigirlsarenotwealthy.“Youareselfish, mysister.YouknowthatveryfewSaudiwomenhavefull-timedrivers.Whatdothosewomendowhen theyneedtransportation to universityor to goshopping?Howshouldtheyget to theirdestinations?Ifthey donothaveaccess to ahireddriver,orarenotbraveenough to takeabusortaxi,theywillhave to use theirtwofeet to takethemwheretheyneed to go!” KnowingmydaughtersasIdo,Iknewthattheirangryspiralofaccusationswouldexpand,andI wasright. Ihadlittletime to ponderbeforeAmaniboundedintoaction,herfaceflashingdarkredwithanger assheleaptlikeadesertgazelletowardhereldersister.IfIhadnotbeeninattendance,mytwoadult daughterswouldhavecertainlyexchangedblows,possiblygrappling to thefloor to physicallyfightas theyhadoncedoneaschildren. IseizedMahabyherupperarmandpulledwithallmystrength.Asitwas,Mahatumbledintome, asAmanistumbledandcollidedwithKareem,myhusband,whohadenteredthesittingroominpursuitof theexplosionoffemalecries. Mydarlinghusbandisalong-sufferingfather.Ourdaughters’continualbattlesexhausthim.Prior to thislatestvisit,KareemhadannouncedthathewouldnolongertolerateMahaandAmaniconducting themselvesaschildren.Afterall,bothdaughtersaregrownwomen.Amaniwasnowamarriedwoman andmother,whileMahalivesasasingleadultinoneofEurope’smajorcities.Mahawasworkingasan executiveinoneofherfather’sbusinesses,enjoyinganormalsociallifewithherfriends.Timeandagain, Mahahasdemonstratedherability to easilymanagemostadultsituations,buthermaturityforsakesher whensheiswithheryoungersister. Kareemfleetinglygazedatmeindisbeliefbeforeraisinghisvoice to shout,soas to beheardover thesputteringprotestofAmaniandthewrathfulsquawkproducedbyMaha.“Thiswillcease!Now!” Kareemcommanded. Althoughmydaughtershaveoftenignoredtheirmother’sdemands,theyrarelyfail to respond suitably to theirfather’sorders.Ifeltmyselfthespectator to amiracleastheircriesandinsultssilenced instantly. AtthatmomentmysisterSarawalkedsoundlesslyintotheroom.Shehadarrivedearlyforthe plannedfamilyparty to celebrateMaha’svisit.Sara’sexpressionwasasusualappealinglycomposed,but herbigblackeyesgrewsignificantlybiggerwhensheobservedouroutlandishscene. Sara’slipscurvedintoasmile.“Mydearnieces,doesfightingstillholdsuchcharmforyou,even aftertwobrokenbonesandachippedtooth?” Sarawasrecallingthemostviolentofmydaughters’battles,afternine-year-oldAmanihad foolishlystrungathintripwireacrossthebackhallwaythatled to aspecialroomholdingnewlyborn kittens.Amanibelievedherkittens to besuchtreasuresthatsheendlesslyobsessedthatsomeonemight attempt to stealtheanimalsandsellthemintheanimalsouk. Asfatewouldhaveit,Mahahadbeentheunintendedvictimafterrushingunsuspectingalongthe hallway.Aftertrippingoverthewire,Maha’sviolentfallhadresultedintwobrokenwrists.WhenAmani heardthenoise,shehadraced to discovertheidentityofthekittythief,only to findhersisterwrithingin pain.Amaniangrilyaccusedhersisterofplanning to stealallthekittens. WhenAmaniwasateenager,ourfamilytraveled to Meccaforthepilgrimage.Duringthereligious event,Amani’sreligiousfaithwastransformed;onceachildwhosefaithwasdormant,sheemergeda determinedyoungwomanwhowished to embraceallaspectsofourIslamicfaithwithunnervingintensity. Sincethatlife-changingreligiousexperience,Amanihadhadtheunfortunatehabitofthrowingashadow ofdoubtoneveryone’sbehavior,oftenaccusingthosearoundherofmoralorcriminaldeeds. WhenAmanitried to peerunderneathMaha’sbody to makesuretherewerenokittensflattened there,anenragedMahaelbowedhersisterintheface,breakingatooth. Whiletheeventwasnotamusingatthetime—asKareemandIhadhad to explain to ourfamily physiciantheembarrassingnatureofourdaughters’injuries—Sara’scommentandhercoolnaturewere theperfectangerantidote.KareemandIexchangedalookandlaughedloudlyatthememoryofthattime longagowhenourdaughters’behaviortoooftenresembledthatofwildbeastssetlooseinourhome. AhumorlessAmanididnotapproveofourlaughter.Sheeasedherselfawayfromherfather, brushingherdress’sbodicewithherhandasthoughnothing more worryingthanaspillhadoccurred.She thengreetedherAuntieSarawitharoutineexchangeofkisses,changingthesubjectbyinquiringabout Sara’ssickgrandchild,whoselittlelifehadrecentlybeenthreatenedbyaseriousboutofwhooping cough.Maha,astriumphantasaconqueringwarrior,touchedherfavoriteauntie’sshoulderinagestureof affectionbeforeretreating to pouracolddrinkmadeoffreshlysqueezedlemons. SheandAmanithenchose to occupyoppositesidesoftheroom,portrayingtheperfectroleof strangers to oneanother. Ilovemytwodaughtersasmuchasanymothercanlovetheirchildren,butevenasadultsthey continue to testmypatience.YearsagoIhadclung to thehopethatadulthoodwouldbringmaturity,butI wassadlymistaken.Staringatmydaughters,Isawthatbothworeanexpressionofhaughtysatisfaction.I foughtthestrongestdesire to smackthosefaces. EvenasImadesmalltalkwithSaraandKareem,Iwasquestioningourlife,wonderingwhytwo daughtersofthesameparentscouldnotfindonething to agreeupon.Fromtheirteenageyears,our daughtershaveclashedoneverything. Mahawasbornastrong,free-spiritedgirlwhotookvigilantnoticeatayoungageofthecultural andsocialconstraintsplacedonSaudifemales.Overtheyears,herragefesteredattheunfairnessofour country’ssocialcustomsregardinggender;shegrew to detesteveryrestrictionandoftenvoicedher resolve to testeachone.Amaniembracedthemostconservative,traditionalbeliefsofourlandsolongas theyweredirectedatfemales.Thereweretimeswhenitseemed to methatAmanibelievedtheshackles confinin