460 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT What a Good Conclusion Does Stronger: Bullies are often people who don’t like them- selves. Those who have to pick on the weak can’t really feel good about themselves. Lesson 12: Finish with a Bang Your conclusion should do one of the following: • Make a broader connection to your thesis. Discuss an implication of your thesis by con- necting it to your own life, society at large, a particular problem, the future, etc. • Offer a solution. If your essay describes a problem, offer some ideas of how to fix it. • Refine or clarify your thesis. Address objec- tions to your point of view, or clarify impor- tant points. A conclusion provides closure to the essay and should leave the reader with something to think about. A conclusion should not be just a “recap” of your essay. Don’t merely restate your thesis in different words. A good conclusion must pre- sent a new idea. Read good essays in magazines like the New Yorker and the Atlantic Monthly, and in the New York Times Op-Ed page, and you will see that good writers never say “In conclu- sion, . . .” or “As I have proven in this essay, . . .” So you shouldn’t say that, either. Many writers are distractingly self-conscious. They say things like It is my opinion that drugs are dangerous instead of Drugs are dangerous. All competent readers know that your essay pre- sents your opinion. You don’t need to tell them that you’re giving your opinion; just give it. Similarly, don’t tell your readers that you are concluding your essay. Just conclude. Don’t say In conclusion, . . . or As my examples clearly prove. . . . Don’t Just Summarize Don’t Tell Us What You’re Doing— Just Do It Weak and self-conscious: I believe that bullies are often people who don’t like themselves. It’s just my opinion, of course, but those who have to pick on the weak can’t really feel good about themselves, as I can demonstrate with a few examples. Example: As I said in the beginning, every cloud has a silver lining, and this has been shown in this essay with the examples of some wars and individual diseases. Both of these are bad things overall which some- times can have good things come out of them. This shows that. . . . This conclusion seems to be saying: “Well, I guess it’s time for the conclusion. In case you weren’t paying attention, here’s what I just finished saying.” This is not what a conclusion should do; it should present new and interesting thoughts connected to the the- sis. This conclusion merely repeats the thesis and doesn’t give the readers anything new to think about. In fact, it insults the readers by assuming that they can’t remember what they just read. Compare it to this revision: Of course, wars are among the most tragic of all human events. If wars can have beneficial out- comes, then surely we can see the good in lesser tragedies. Perhaps if we could take such a positive perspective on our everyday problems, we would live happier lives. This conclusion is more effective because it extends the thesis to a wider sphere, offers a suggestion, and leaves the readers thinking without insulting them. CHAPTER 12 / WRITING A GREAT ESSAY 461 Practice 12: Finish with a Bang Conclusion Review 1. What are the three things that a good conclusion can do? 2. What does it mean for your writing to be self-conscious? Self-Consciousness Sweeping Practice Rewrite the following sentences to make them less self-conscious. 3. I think that classes should not start until 9:00 am, because I believe students need more rest than they are getting. 4. As I have shown with these examples, there are many factors to consider when choosing a college. 5. It is my opinion that more money should be spent, in my school and schools like it, on music programs. 6. These examples abundantly demonstrate that goals are important in life, as I said earlier. Check your answers with the answer key at the end of the chapter. 462 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT Practice 1 1. It means that you respond with a thoughtful and interesting thesis and provide relevant, specific ex- amples and clear, logical explanations. 2. It means that you use paragraphs to develop, sup- port, and explain your thesis, and that you con- clude effectively. 3. It means that you avoid needless jargon, wordi- ness, cliché, or abstraction, and define terms as necessary. 4. It means that you vary your sentence structure ap- propriately, are concise, and choose your words wisely. 5. Four or five paragraphs. Practice 6 1. A “top-down” essay states the thesis at the begin- ning, and a “bottom-up” essay states it near the end of the essay. 2. Four brief sentences: the thesis, the topic sentence of paragraph 2, the topic sentence of paragraph 3, and the concluding idea. Practice 7 1. We knew that the game would be hard fought. However, we never thought it would last 8 hours and 20 innings. 2. There were thousands of visitors in town for the game. Therefore, it was almost impossible to find a hotel room. 3. The theory of evolution has had a profound effect on scientific thought. Furthermore, it has influenced many artists and writers. 4. We knew that punishing the culprits would do no good. Therefore, we took no action against them. 5. Perfect games are rare. In fact, in the last two years, only one was bowled in the entire state. 6. There were several reasons for the delay. First, the bus driver had the wrong directions. Practice 8 1. Competition encourages excellence. 2. Our managers consider all ideas from our employees, and use the best ones. 3. People are increasingly concerned that the govern- ment is wasting money. 4. When we focus exclusively on personal moral responsibility, we ignore the importance of social institutions. Practice 9 1. An effective manager must rely on sound manage- ment principles as well as past experience. 2. Parents and students should have input into the new testing plan. 3. Many cleaning substances should not be combined, because violent reactions could result. 4. Even if every citizen contributed to the effort, it would still take several years to complete. 5. The food and blankets dropped for the refugees was far from sufficient to ward off the hunger and cold. 6. We watched the jet until it disappeared. 7. Today, too many people depend on television as their exclusive source of information. 8. Few people know that such gambling violates fed- eral law. 9. Because corporations try to maximize profit, they rarely focus on environmental needs. 10. If your boss opposes your proposal at the meeting, consider talking to her about it. 11. Too few people realize that economic strength often reflects the hopes of consumers. Chapter 12 Answer Key CHAPTER 12 / WRITING A GREAT ESSAY 463 Practice 10 1. Many people today think that young people are lazy. 2. They say that they spend too much time playing video games or watching MTV. 3. They are wrong. 4. In fact, many of my friends are choosing careers that help others rather than make themselves rich. 5. This action violates the company’s own contract. 6. The earthquake devastated the village. 7. I failed the test because I hadn’t studied. 8. The critics complained that the movie was dull and hackneyed. 9. The army maneuvered boldly under the cover of night. 10. A dozen chairs filled the hallway outside the office. Practice 11 1. Many neoconservatives love to claim that lowering taxes actually raises government revenue. They are wrong. It’s not that simple. In fact, the govern- ment’s tax revenue depends on many things other than the tax rate. 2. My mother sat me down and explained to me how important it is to spend money wisely. I got the message. I began keeping better track of my ac- counts and became a wiser consumer. 3. David scrutinized his test results. 4. The girls in the car babbled for hours. 5. The coach harangued us about our lack of effort in the first half. 6. When a doctor prescribes something for you, follow the directions carefully. 7. Ordinary people hate liars, but noblemen love them. Practice 12 1. Make a broader connection to the thesis; offer a solution; refine or clarify the thesis. 2. It means that you are telling your reader that you are doing something rather than simply doing it. 3. Classes should not start until 9:00 am, because stu- dents need more rest than they are getting. 4. There are many factors to consider when choosing a college. 5. More money should be spent on school music programs. 6. Goals are important in life. Chapter 12 Answer Key ESSAY WRITING PRACTICE 20 Practice SAT Essay Assignments CHAPTER 13 ✓ 464 Copyright © 2008 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Click here for terms of use. CHAPTER 13 / ESSAY WRITING PRACTICE 465 Practice Essay 1 Time—25 minutes Directions for Writing the Essay Plan and write an essay that answers the question below. Do NOT write on another topic. An essay on another topic will receive a score of 0. Two readers will grade your essay based on how well you develop your point of view, organize and ex- plain your ideas, use specific and relevant examples to support your thesis, and use clear and effective language. How well you write is much more important than how much you write, but to cover the topic adequately you should plan to write several paragraphs. Your essay must be written only on the lines provided on your answer sheet. You will have enough space if you write on every line, avoid wide margins, and keep your handwriting to a reasonable size. Your essay will be read by people who are not familiar with your handwriting, so write legibly. You may use this sheet for notes and outlining, but these will not be graded as part of your essay. Consider carefully the issue discussed in the following passage, then write an essay that answers the ques- tion posed in the assignment. Without a clear goal to focus our energy and drive us to grow, we cease to be truly alive. We are inert particles floating on the sea of life. This is true of not only ourselves, but our institutions—our families, our corporations, and our societies. The moment we cease to grow, we begin to die. Assignment: Is growth necessary to a happy and productive life? Write an essay in which you answer this question and discuss your point of view on this issue. You may discuss per- sonal or institutional growth. Support your position logically with examples from litera- ture, the arts, history, politics, science and technology, current events, or your experience or observation. Note: Write your practice essay on two pages of standard lined paper. For more instruction and practice on the SAT Essay, visit our Online Practice Plus at www.MHPracticePlus.com/SATessay. 466 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT Practice Essay 2 Time—25 minutes Directions for Writing the Essay Plan and write an essay that answers the question below. Do NOT write on another topic. An essay on another topic will receive a score of 0. Two readers will grade your essay based on how well you develop your point of view, organize and ex- plain your ideas, use specific and relevant examples to support your thesis, and use clear and effective language. How well you write is much more important than how much you write, but to cover the topic adequately you should plan to write several paragraphs. Your essay must be written only on the lines provided on your answer sheet. You will have enough space if you write on every line, avoid wide margins, and keep your handwriting to a reasonable size. Your essay will be read by people who are not familiar with your handwriting, so write legibly. You may use this sheet for notes and outlining, but these will not be graded as part of your essay. Consider carefully the issue discussed in the following passage, then write an essay that answers the ques- tion posed in the assignment. Our leaders love to tell us that only victory will do, as if they are imparting great wisdom. They seek only to defeat the enemy, to achieve the goal. Yet many times a loss, particularly one that is hard fought, is more valuable than victory. We cannot live a life full of only victories, nor should we. The quality of our lives depends as much on how we manage our losses as on how we achieve our victories. Assignment: Can a loss ever be more valuable than a victory? Write an essay in which you answer this question and discuss your point of view on this issue. Support your position logi- cally with examples from literature, the arts, history, politics, science and technology, current events, or your experience or observation. Note: Write your practice essay on two pages of standard lined paper. CHAPTER 13 / ESSAY WRITING PRACTICE 467 Practice Essay 3 Time—25 minutes Directions for Writing the Essay Plan and write an essay that answers the question below. Do NOT write on another topic. An essay on another topic will receive a score of 0. Two readers will grade your essay based on how well you develop your point of view, organize and ex- plain your ideas, use specific and relevant examples to support your thesis, and use clear and effective language. How well you write is much more important than how much you write, but to cover the topic adequately you should plan to write several paragraphs. Your essay must be written only on the lines provided on your answer sheet. You will have enough space if you write on every line, avoid wide margins, and keep your handwriting to a reasonable size. Your essay will be read by people who are not familiar with your handwriting, so write legibly. You may use this sheet for notes and outlining, but these will not be graded as part of your essay. Consider carefully the issue discussed in the following passage, then write an essay that answers the ques- tion posed in the assignment. Adventure seekers who merely crave the mitigating rush of adrenaline that accompanies risky feats do not demonstrate true courage. Courage is not fearlessness but the willingness to face our unmitigated fears and vulnerabilities, particularly those fears that make us think less of ourselves. Assignment: Does true courage always require putting something that is very important to us at risk? Write an essay in which you answer this question and explain the reasons for your choice. You may choose an example from literature, the arts, history, politics, science and technology, current events, or your experience or observation. Note: Write your practice essay on two pages of standard lined paper. Practice Essay 4 Time—25 minutes Directions for Writing the Essay Plan and write an essay that answers the question below. Do NOT write on another topic. An essay on another topic will receive a score of 0. Two readers will grade your essay based on how well you develop your point of view, organize and ex- plain your ideas, use specific and relevant examples to support your thesis, and use clear and effective language. How well you write is much more important than how much you write, but to cover the topic adequately you should plan to write several paragraphs. Your essay must be written only on the lines provided on your answer sheet. You will have enough space if you write on every line, avoid wide margins, and keep your handwriting to a reasonable size. Your essay will be read by people who are not familiar with your handwriting, so write legibly. You may use this sheet for notes and outlining, but these will not be graded as part of your essay. Consider carefully the issue discussed in the following passage, then write an essay that answers the ques- tion posed in the assignment. Communicating technology was supposed to turn the world into a “global village,” en- hancing our relationships with others and our understanding of other cultures. Yet I fear it has rendered us more polarized and less articulate. Instant communication allows us to proclaim what is on our minds before we’ve analyzed it, substantiated it, or rendered it coherent, let alone eloquent. Assignment: Do modern means of communication make our society better or worse? Write an essay in which you answer this question and explain your point of view on this issue. Support your position logically with examples from your reading, current events, or your experience or observation. Note: Write your practice essay on two pages of standard lined paper. 468 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT CHAPTER 13 / ESSAY WRITING PRACTICE 469 Practice Essay 5 Time—25 minutes Directions for Writing the Essay Plan and write an essay that answers the question below. Do NOT write on another topic. An essay on another topic will receive a score of 0. Two readers will grade your essay based on how well you develop your point of view, organize and ex- plain your ideas, use specific and relevant examples to support your thesis, and use clear and effective language. How well you write is much more important than how much you write, but to cover the topic adequately you should plan to write several paragraphs. Your essay must be written only on the lines provided on your answer sheet. You will have enough space if you write on every line, avoid wide margins, and keep your handwriting to a reasonable size. Your essay will be read by people who are not familiar with your handwriting, so write legibly. You may use this sheet for notes and outlining, but these will not be graded as part of your essay. Consider carefully the issue discussed in the following passage, then write an essay that answers the ques- tion posed in the assignment. Being truly human as a member of a society means seeing injustice and working to fix it. The human mind is endowed with not only the ability to perceive the world and act in- stinctively, but to visualize a better future and endeavor to realize it. Assignment: What is one great injustice in the world, and how should it be addressed? Write an essay in which you answer this question and explain the reasons for your choice. You may draw inspiration and support from literature, the arts, history, politics, science and technology, current events, or your experience or observation. Note: Write your practice essay on two pages of standard lined paper. . paper. For more instruction and practice on the SAT Essay, visit our Online Practice Plus at www.MHPracticePlus.com/SATessay. 466 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT Practice Essay 2 Time—25 minutes Directions. at the end of the chapter. 462 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT Practice 1 1. It means that you respond with a thoughtful and interesting thesis and provide relevant, specific ex- amples and clear, logical explanations. 2 structure ap- propriately, are concise, and choose your words wisely. 5. Four or five paragraphs. Practice 6 1. A “top-down” essay states the thesis at the begin- ning, and a “bottom-up” essay