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[...]... took to rebuild the trust between them And Kathryn was promoted too So what do great conversations look like? What would your organization look like if everyone knew and practiced the skills of Conversational Intelligence every day and knew them so well that they could have a hand in building a great workplace and a high-performance organization? How do high levels of trust impact productivity and an... as a mother’s hug This hormone’s power may explain why loners die young, and why emotional rejection can be more painful than physical trauma So how can we activate oxytocin and trust even in the face of betrayal and distrust? How can we move from distrust to trust and change our conversational landscape? Moving from Distrust to Trust When my client Brenda began working for a global cosmetics company,... lock down and we are no longer open to influence (You’ll learn how to get unstuck and become more agile in part 2 of this book.) FIGURE 1–1: Our Primitive and Executive Brains On the other side of the brain spectrum is the prefrontal cortex This is the newest brain, and it enables us to build societies, have good judgment, be strategic, handle difficult conversations, and build and sustain trust Yet... different and often distrustful—brain landscape for our future interactions What happens when we are uncertain? We’ve seen that trust and distrust take place in different parts of the brain, yet there is one place where trust and distrust overlap and that is where we assess uncertainty While trust takes place in the prefrontal areas of the brain where we are assessing the credibility, intentions, and predictability... shifts from trust to distrust, and when we move further down the road to feeling betrayed, we can often show up at work as someone else When fear masters us, we are someone else Fear and conflict not only change our neural chemistry, they also change our persona and how others perceive us In one nanosecond, we can move from being a trusted friend and advisor to someone others loathe and distrust Trust Attempts... state are trust, empathy, and support When someone shows concern for us, our brain chemistry makes a shift We become calmer, we regain our composure, and we can begin once again to think in a constructive way Because conversations depend on how we think, how we listen, and how we speak, it’s vital that we learn to bring ourselves into a state of trust in order to ensure conversational success The Conversational. .. involving trust and distrust are, of course, complex, however it’s important to know that their locations in the brain are distinct—the fact that the brain processes these two responses separately offers a core insight into how to develop Conversational Intelligence We can’t connect to others if our amygdala is overactive Fear and distrust close down our brains This book focuses on how you can create the conversational. .. chemicals like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin Put in practical terms, bonds of trust generate conversational cocktails that change neurochemistry and trigger the trust network in our brains When we trust, we feel better and more positive When we experience high levels of trust, we feel empowered to work out issues and challenges, open ourselves to new experiences, and link with others in a way that... surveyed more than four thousand leaders across all industries and at all levels in their organizations Through our research we have identified the two least-developed skills in the workplace: the ability to have uncomfortable conversations and the ability to ask “what if” questions As you will see, both these skills are essential to building and sustaining trust, and to being candid and caring with one another... three levels are hardwired into our brains, and all are important We can get stuck in any one of them and find that our conversations become unhealthy and lead to distrust, or we can thrive in all of them and find that our conversations are not only healthy but achieve transformational results Healthy conversations are built on high levels of trust, and throughout Conversational Intelligence you will learn . Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Glaser, Judith E. Conversational intelligence : how great leaders build trust & get extraordinary results / by Judith E. Glaser. pages cm ISBN 978-1-937134-67-9. understanding the way conversations impact our listening we can determine how we listen and how we listen determines how we interpret and make sense of our world. What Is Conversational Intelligence? In. working together effectively. By understanding how conversations trigger different parts of the brain and stimulate certain habits and behaviors, you can develop and grow your Conversational Intelligence