POWERPHRASES! The Perfect Words to Say It Right and Get the Results You Want Meryl Runion Power Potentials Publishing SpeakStrong Inc ® POWERPHRASES ® © 2002, 2003, 2004, revised edition 2005 Power Potentials Publishing P.O Box 184 Cascade CO 80809 All rights reserved This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part or transmitted in any form without the written permission of the author except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in review No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or other without written permission of the publisher PowerPhrases® is a registered trademark of Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong Inc Runion, Meryl PowerPhrases! : the perfect words to say it right and get the results you want / Meryl Runion ; editor Kristin Porotsky — 2nd ed p cm ISBN: 0-9714437-9-3 Business communication Oral Communication I Porotsky, Kristin II Title HF5718.R86 2001 658.4’52 QBI01-201211 POWERPHRASES ® Table of Contents Preface 11 Introduction 13 Chapter 1: PowerPhrases Defined–What Is a PowerPhrase Anyway? 19 Chapter 2: Killer Phrases and the PowerPhrases to Overcome Them 29 Chapter 3: PowerPhrases for Saying “No” — “No” IS a Complete Sentence, But Is It a PowerPhrase? 41 Chapter 4: PowerPhrases That Transform Conflicts Into Understanding 55 Chapter 5: PowerPhrases for Negotiations to Get You What You Want 93 Chapter 6: PowerPhrases That Sell 121 Chapter 7: Small Talk PowerPhrases to Break the Ice 147 Chapter 8: PowerPhrases at Work: Managing Your Boss 157 Chapter 9: PowerPhrases at Work: Communicating With Coworkers 181 Chapter 10: PowerPhrases at Work: Magic Phrases for Managers 191 Chapter 11: Now It’s Your Turn: Create Your Own PowerPhrases 211 Chapter 12: Perfect PowerPhrases for Email 219 Table of Contents continued Chapter 13: The Truth about Truth, Persuasion and PowerPhrases 227 Chapter 14: The Runion Rules of Responsible Communication 237 Chapter 15: Meryl Answers the Most Challenging Communication Questions 247 Chapter 16: PowerPhrases in Action: Success Stories from A PowerPhrase a Week Subscribers 257 Chapter 17: Silence Is the Greatest PowerPhrase of All 269 PowerPhrases Quick Reference Guide 271 Communication Tendencies Based on Personality 287 NOTE FROM THE EDITOR It began as a normal editing project, and became a powerful learning experience When Meryl Runion first told me about her book idea, I thought she was on to something When she asked me to edit it, I had no idea that I would become indoctrinated into the PowerPhrases phenomenon Now, everywhere I turn, I see the need for PowerPhrases Everyone I see needs the communications tools contained in these pages My family, my friends, my neighbors need them – and I too When reading Dr Seuss to my son I even wanted to teach Power Phrases to Thidwick, the Big-Hearted Moose I want to edit the sequels Kristin Porotsky Editor A Second Pair of Eyes Mother of Three www.asecondpairofeyes.com ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS My thanks to those who saw the vision that I saw when I decided to write this book I believed that I had a valuable and useful idea from the very beginning, but the belief of others helped to keep me going Thanks to Bill Cowles of SkillPath Publishing Bill’s belief in the idea kept me inspired Special thanks to my editor, Kristin Porotsky With three small children in tow, she took the time to carefully edit and often remembered to tell me that I was “awesome.” I take great inspiration from speaker and author Linda Larsen Her insistence that this is “not just any book” and that I would have a “huge hit on my hands” gave me more courage than she will ever know The encouragement and advice of author Jay Conrad Levinson also provided much needed inspiration from a source that I deeply respect I must include my thanks to my dear friend Cindi Myers After she started reading the manuscript she didn’t stop Her enthusiasm was an inspiration as well And of course, I want to thank my family, who allowed me to be married to my book for close to a year POWERPHRASES ® DISCLAIMER This book is designed to provide communications information and guidance The publisher and the author are not offering legal or other professional services Every effort has been made to offer advice that is accurate, sound and useful Results vary in different situations The author and the publisher cannot be held liable or responsible for any damages caused or allegedly caused directly or indirectly by the information in this book If you not wish to be bound by the above, you may return this book to the publisher for a full refund POWERPHRASES ® 10 MERYL RUNION, MSCI Meryl Runion, MSCI SpeakStrong Inc www.speakstrong.com Center for Responsible Communication www.CenterforResponsibleCommunication.org Meryl Runion has helped over 200,000 people tell the simple truth with PowerPhrases through seminars, keynotes, weekly newsletters and books Her books have sold over 100,000 copies worldwide She is available for keynotes, training and private consultations Visit Meryl’s website to sign up for her weekly email newsletter, A PowerPhrase a Week at www.speakstrong.com/ Watch her inspiring internet movie, A World of Truth, at www.speakstrong.com/movie.html 307 POWERPHRASES® 308 KEYNOTES, SEMINARS AND WORKSHOPS • SpeakStrong Series • And Your Point Is…? How to Use PowerPhrases® to Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say —Without Being Mean When You Say It Get to the point and say what needs to be said! Designed for both organizational leaders and their general workforce, this fun and informative presentation shows you how words can help you get what you want Do you remember the last time you had trouble saying no? And Your Point Is…? demonstrates a clear and direct approach that helps to avoid personal conflicts, provides clarification of work assignments and reduces misunderstandings, hurt feelings and gossip Learn which “PowerPhrases” to choose - and “Poison Phrases” to lose And Your Point Is…? teaches how to incorporate a philosophy of simple truth so you can be clear, concise and effective Intended audiences: all staff levels, and senior management The “SpeakStrong” Supervisor How to Speak so Employees Listen and Listen so Employees Speak Your employees need you to lead or get out of their way Through familiar scenarios and real-life examples, The SpeakStrong Supervisor demonstrates how to create an internal dynamic that encourages the straightforward communication necessary to manage well Anyone who manages employees or volunteers knows that how things are said (or what isn’t said) often causes the greatest conflict or distraction This presentation teaches managers and supervisors techniques for straightforward and effective communication with their staff, and equips them to create a truthful and tactful environment for their subordinates Intended audiences: Professionals, managers, leaders and support staff 309 POWERPHRASES® Because Homicide Is Not an Option! Get to the Root and Resolution of Conflict Everyone has a nemesis Everyone has one person who seems to exist to make our lives miserable What you when your nemesis does what your nemesis does? In the end, conflict seems to boil down to: who said what to whom and how it was received We can’t change who someone is, but we can avoid destructive communication that can often exacerbate a potentially touchy situation This seminar takes participants through some common and uncommon situations that lead to conflict and its aftermath Audiences will learn how to avoid language that escalates conflict and communication tools to resolve and move beyond disagreements Intended audiences: Professionals, managers, leaders and support staff • Leadership & Life Series • Develop the Leader in You at Work and in Life You don’t have to have “leader” in your job description to be a leader in life This series is designed for and relevant to every level of the organization to develop the foundation of credibility that effective leaders have mastered This series is concrete, practical and fun! It provides the best action steps to optimize anything and everything that is within your control including: health, self-esteem, purpose, conflict management, emotions, communication skills, leadership skills, and career Module One—Internal Strength for External Challenges: How to Optimize Your Thinking, Habits and Behavior Do you ever have trouble getting your brain in gear? Do you ever forget what you did five minutes ago? If you've never thought too much about how you think, this is a don't-miss module 310 KEYNOTES, SEMINARS AND WORKSHOPS Module Two—How to Re-engage, Re-energize and Renew Yourself: Turn Your Career Back into Your Professional Passion and Get Your Vitality Back Do your brain, body and heart want to retire but your bank balance is telling you it's not time? Do you have less spring in your step than you once did? Have physical ailments become a favored topic in your conversations? If so, this module will help you reconnect with your sense of purpose to keep yourself engaged Module Three—PowerPhrases to Power Up, Stand Tall and SpeakStrong: How to Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say, Without Being Mean When You Say It Do you ever think you are being perfectly clear, and people turn around and the opposite of what you were requesting? Are you ever stunned into silence when faced with rude behavior? Do you avoid saying "no" and feel guilty when you do, or say it in a way that others find offensive? Learn how to say what you mean and mean what you say to get what you want Module Four—Ways to Win with Conflict: Getting to the Root and Resolution of Disagreements, Discord, and Hostility As interpersonal rules of conduct become looser and deadlines become tighter, conflict resolution is gaining importance as an essential skill at all levels Most people see conflict as a problem rather than an opportunity, and would rather run than address it directly However, effectively managed conflict can actually promote cooperation and lead to greater harmony and effectiveness This module provides the tools you need Don't turn your back on conflict Turn conflict into opportunity with the tools and skills that work Module Five—Leaders Aren’t Born, They’re Developed: Living and Working from a Platform of Strength When you ask someone to "jump," they ask how high, they ask why, or they say "Yeah, right!"? Wherever you are in the organization, getting results through others is a key component of success Becoming a true leader is not an event - it's a process Learn what you need to be, know and to become a leader that others are inspired to follow Whether you are officially in the role of leader or manager or not, your leadership skills can make extraordinary things happen 311 POWERPHRASES® “ ONE PERSON who speaks the simple truth and does it well can change a culture They can change a family culture, a corporate culture, a community culture and even impact the world Find the words to say what needs to be said Meryl Runion 312 ” WHAT AUDIENCES ARE SAYING… “Effective! Simple concepts with huge rewards! Thanks for the eye opener!” KURT ALLMAN, Amgen “Outstanding seminar with examples and experiences that are easy to relate to in business and personal life Presented in an entertaining and exhilarating style.” MICHAEL SAUNDERS, Medical Director, Baxter Hemoglobin Therapeutics “You are the best presenter I have ever seen or heard I was impressed with your knowledge of the topic, the way you handled questions with ease, like there was nothing you couldn't handle It definitely inspired me Thanks!” JULIE FEAGLER, Rhythms Net Communications “Meryl has brought out the goodness in people that some thought they had lost People feel better about working with each other.” IDA HOFNER, Department of Defense “I am a trainer for Current Inc., and I was thoroughly impressed with the presentation Your skills were unparalleled by any of my previous experiences Thank you.” CHUCK ANDERSON, Trainer, Current Inc “Meryl was a fantastic instructor She touched on all things without losing the interest of the group I would attend any seminar Meryl teaches She was also very motivating Well done.” CAROL NEIDERMAN, Froedterd Hospital “The most fun and informative seminar I have ever attended I learned so much about something I thought I already knew everything about.” CHERYL BROWN, Endometriosis Association 313 POWERPHRASES ® “ The difference between the right words and the almost right words is like the difference between lightening bugs and lightening bolts.” Mark Twain 314 CLIENTS INCLUDE… 315 POWERPHRASES ® Sample Newsletter 316 ADDITIONAL RESOURCES Item Books: Quantity Price Total PowerPhrases!® The Perfect Words to Say It Right and Get the Results You Want — by Meryl Runion How to Use PowerPhrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say and Get What You Want — by Meryl Runion The Number One Secrets of Successful Managers — by Hal Pitt _ $ 29.95 _. _ $ 12.95 _. _ $ 22.95 _. _ $ 69.95 _. Audio: PowerPhrases Amplified Audio CD’s and Read CD’s Shipping: Add $3.75 for your first item $ 3.75 $1.75 for each additional item _ Sales Tax Colorado Residents add 2.9% x $1.75 _. _. Total: Mail form with payment or credit card number to: SpeakStrong P.O Box 184 Cascade CO 80809 Order online at www.speakstrong.com Ship to: Name: Address: City/State: Zip: Phone: - - _ 317 POWERPHRASES® SpeakStrong Inc Mission: To increase awareness of the need for truthfulness personally, professionally and politically among the world community: To provide individuals with the tools and courage to speak their Simple Truth The Center for Responsible Communication Mission: To increase awareness of the need for truthfulness personally, professionally and politically among leaders: To provide leaders with the tools and courage to speak their Simple Truth SpeakStrong and Center for Responsible Communication Principles: 1) Open communication is essential for health personally, professionally and politically 2) When any communication is suppressed it is unhealthy for all involved and is likely to come back and cost everyone 3) We need to elevate the level of discourse personally, professionally and politically 4) We have a right to be informed about things that affect us 5) When we don’t speak up we are complicit with lies, poor decisions and deception 318 A WORLD OF TRUTH A World of Truth A brief two minute internet movie about the world as you always knew it could be Grab your popcorn, get comfy and enjoy http://www.powerpotentials.com/movie.html 319 POWERPHRASES ® Find the perfect words to speak your simple truth one week at a time… SIGN UP TODAY FOR A PowerPhrase a Week A FREE weekly email newsletter V I S I T: www.speakstrong.com IT’S FREE AND VERY FUN, INTERESTING AND USEFUL! Watch the new internet movie A World of Truth at www.powerpotentials.com/movie.html 320 ... Let’s get some help from the dictionary • Power is the ability to get results Your words have power when they work for you Target your words for the results you want • A phrase is a brief, apt, and. .. look like With PowerPhrases You Mean What You Say! Your words are only as powerful as your commitment to them How about you? Do you mean what you say? Or you say: • I will…(start the meetings... provides a toolbox of the perfect expressions to get your point across clearly and confidently This book provides powerful words when you need them the most You will learn the exact words to use to: