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WHY MEN
DON'T LISTEN
&
WOMEN CAN'T
READ MAPS
Barbara & Allan Pease
3
Copyright © Allan Pease 2001
All rights reserved
The right of Allan Pease to be identified
as the author of this work has been
asserted by him in accordance with the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
This edition published in 2001 by
Pease International Pty Ltd
Phone: 61-7-5444 7000
Fax: 61-7-5444 7550
Email: info@peaseinternational
Web: www. peaseinternational. com
Published in Great Britain by
Orion Publishing Group
Distributed in Australia and New Zealand
by HarperCollins Ltd
Imported to Great Britain by Pease Training International Ltd.
Tel: 01564 741 888 Fax: 01564 741 800
Email: peaseuk@compuserve. com
A CIP catalogue record for this book
is available from the British Library
Designed by Karen Stirling Printed by Griffin
Press, Netley
ISBN 0 957 81081 4
Sc/PR JaBay
4
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
Introduction 14
A Sunday Drive
Why Writing This book Was So Tough
1. Same Species, Different Worlds I9
Some Things Are Obvious
Different Job Specs
The 'Stereotype' Argument
Is it All a Male Conspiracy?
Where We (the Authors) Stand
The Nature Versus Nurture Argument
Your Human Guidebook
How We Got This Way
We Didn't Expect it to Be Like This
Why Mum and Dad Can't Help
We're Still Just Another Animal
2. Making Perfect Sense 34
Women as Radar Detectors
The Eyes Have It
Eyes in the Back of her Head?
Why Womens' Eyes See So Much
The Slippery Case of the Missing Butter
Men and Ogling
Seeing is Believing
Why Men Should Drive at Night
5
Why Women Have a 'Sixth Sense'
Why Men Can't Lie to Women
She Hears Better Too
Women Read Between the Lines
Men Can 'Hear' Direction
Why Boys Don't Listen
Men Miss the Details
The Magic of Touch
Women Are Touchy-Feely
Why Men Are So Thick-Skinned
A Taste for Life
Something in the Air
The X-Philes
Why Men Are Called 'Insensitive'
3. It's All In The Mind 57
Why We're Smarter than the Rest
How Our Brains Defend Territory
The Brains Behind Success
What's Where in the Brain
Where Brain Research Began
How the Brain is Analysed
Why Women Are Better Connected
Why Men Can Only Do One Thing at a Time!
Try the Toothbrush Test
Why We Are Who We Are
Programming the Foetus
The Brain-Wiring Test
How to Score the Test
Analysing the Result
A Final Word
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4. Talking And Listening 85
The 'Blue or Gold Shoes' Strategy Why Males
Can't Talk Proper
Boys and Their Schooling
Why Women Are Great Talkers
Why Women Need to Talk
The Hormonal Connection
Women Love to Talk
Men Talk Silently to Themselves
The Downside of Silent Talk
Women Think Aloud
The Downside of Thinking Aloud
Women Talk, Men Feel Nagged
Why Couples Fail
How Men Talk
Women Multi-Track
What Brain Scans Show
Strategies for Talking with Men
Why Men Love Big Words
Women Use Words for Reward
Women Are Indirect
Men Are Direct
What to Do About It
How to Motivate a Man to Action
Women Talk Emotively, Men Are Literal
How Women Listen
Men Listen Like Statues
How to Use the Grunt
How to Get a Man to Listen
The Schoolgirl Voice
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5. Spatial Ability: Maps, Targets And Parallel
Parking 118
How a Map Almost Led to Divorce
Sexist Thinking
The Lunch-Chaser in Action
Why Men Know Where to Go
Why Boys Hang Out in Video Arcades
Boys' Brains Develop Differently
Diana and her Furniture
Testing Spatial Ability
How Women Can Navigate
What if You Can't Find North?
The Flying Map
The Upside-Down Map
A Final Test
How to Avoid an Argument
How to Argue While Driving
How to Sell to a Woman
The Pain of Reverse Parallel Parking
Women Are Safer Drivers
How Women Were Misled
Spatial Ability in Education
Spatial Skill Occupations
Billiards and Nuclear Science
The Computer Industry
Maths and Accounting
All Things Being Equal
Boys and their Toys
How Women Feel
Can You Improve Your Spatial Skill?
Some Useful Strategies
In Summary
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6. Thoughts, Attitudes, Emotions And Other
Disaster Areas 149
Our Different Perceptions
Boys Like Things, Girls Like People
Boys Compete, Girls Co-operate
What We Talk About
Talking Dirty
What Modern Men and Women Want
Emotion in the Brain
Women Value Relationships, Men Value Work
Why Men 'Do Things'
Why Men and Women Leave Each Other
Why Men Hate to Be Wrong
Why Men Hide Their Emotions
Why Men Hang Out with the Boys
Why Men Hate Advice
Why Men Offer Solutions
Why Stressed Women Talk
Why Stressed Men Won't Talk
Using Spatials to Solve Problems
Why Men Flick the TV Channels
How to Get Boys to Talk
When They're Both Stressed
The Complete Shut-Out
How Men Alienate Women
Why Men Can't Handle Women Being Emotional
The Crying Game
Eating Out
Shopping: Her Joy, His Terror
How to Give a Woman a Sincere Compliment
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7. Our Chemical Cocktail 176
How Hormones Control Us The
Chemicals of 'Falling in Love'
Hormonal Chemistry
Why Blondes Have High Fertility PMT
and Sex Drive
Woman's Chemical Gloom
Testosterone: Bonus or Curse?
The Case of the Flying Crockery Why
Men Are Aggressive
Why Men Work So Hard Testosterone
and Spatial Ability Why Women Hate
Reverse Parking Mathematics and
Hormones Modern Man's Hunting
Why Men Have Pot Bellies and Women Have Large
Rears
8. Boys Will Be Boys, But Not Always 197
Gays, Lesbians and Transsexuals
Homosexuality is Part of History
Is it Genetic or a Choice?
Why People Look to the Father
Can the 'Choice' Be Changed?
The Case of Identical Gay Twins
It's in their Genes
The 'Gay Gene'
Gay Fingerprints and Family Studies
Experimental Changes
It's What Happens in the Womb
The Transsexual Brain
Are We Slaves to Our Biology?
Why Gay Men Aren't All Alike
Lesbian Differences
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9. Men, Women and Sex 216
How Sex Began
Where is Sex in the Brain?
Why Men Can't Help Themselves
Why Women Are Faithful
Men Are Microwaves, Women Are Electric Ovens
Why We Argue About Sex
Sex Drive and Stress
How Much Sex Are We Having?
Sex on the Brain
How Sex Improves Your Health
Monogamy and Polygamy
Why Men Are Promiscuous
The Rooster Effect
Why Men Want Women to Dress Like Tarts
(But Never in Public)
Why Men Are Three-Minute Wonders
The Ball Game
Balls Have Brains Too
Men and Ogling
What Men Need to Do
What We Really Want, Long-Term
Why Men Want 'Just One Thing'
Why Sex Suddenly Stops
What Men Want From Sex
What Women Want From Sex
Why Men Don't Talk During Sex
The Orgasm Objective
What Turns Us On?
How Men Get a Raw Deal
The Aphrodisiac Myth
Men and their Pornography
Are There Female Sex Maniacs?
Lights Off or On?
[...]... 255 Why Women Need Monogamy Why Men Avoid Commitment Where is Love in the Brain? Love: Why Men Fall In and Women Fall Out Why Men Can't Say 'I Love You' How Men Can Separate Love from Sex When Women Make Love, Men Have Sex Why Great Partners Look Attractive Do Opposites Attract? Physical Opposites Attract The Hips-to-Waist Ratio is the Key Men and Romance Some Surefire Romance Tips for Men Why Men. .. Different Job Specs Men and women have evolved differently because they had to Men hunted, women gathered Men protected, women nurtured As a result, their bodies and brains evolved in completely different ways As their bodies physically changed to adapt to their specific functions, so did their minds Men grew taller and stronger than most women, while their brains developed to suit their tasks Women were mostly... legacy They claim that governments, religions and education systems have added up to nothing more than a plot by men to suppress women, colluding to keep good women down Keeping women pregnant was a way of controlling them even more Certainly, historically, that's how it appears But the question needs to be asked: If women and men are identical, as these groups claim, how could men ever have achieved such... average men and women, that is, how most men and women behave most of the time, in most situations and for most of the past 'Average' means that if you are in a room full of people you'll notice that men are bigger and taller than women, in fact 7% taller and an average 8% bigger The tallest or biggest person in the room may be a woman, but overall the men are bigger and taller than the women In the... rarely the most direct route to their destination Men think they're the most sensible sex Women know they are How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? It's unknown It's never happened Men marvel at the way a woman can walk into a room full of people and give an instant commentary on everyone; women can't believe men are so unobservant Men are amazed how a woman can't see a red flashing... called out, 'Hey Frank, I'm going to the toilet You wanna come with me?' Men dominate TV remote controls and flick through the channels; women don't mind watching the commercials Under pressure, men drink alcohol and invade other countries; women eat chocolate and go shopping Women criticise men for being insensitive, uncaring, not listening, not being warm and compassionate, not 20 talking, not giving... works now gives us many answers We are not identical Men and women should be equal in terms of their opportunities to exercise their full potential, but they are definitely not identical in their innate abilities Whether men and women are equal is a political or moral question, but whether they are identical is a scientific one The equality of men and women is a political or moral issue; the essential... ethical reasons, we can't reveal the source This book is dedicated to all the men and women who have ever sat up at 2am pulling their hair out as they plead with their partners, 'But why don't you understand?' Relationships fail because men still don't understand why a woman can't be more like a man, and women expect their men to behave just like they do Not only will this book help you come to grips... women and women appreciate men Each sees the other as uniquely contributing to the family's survival and well-being But for men and women who live in modern civilised countries, these old rules have 31 been thrown out - and chaos, confusion and unhappiness have been left in their place We Didn't Expect it to Be Like This The family unit is no longer solely dependent on men for its survival and women are... Nick Symons, Richard & Linda Denny, Angela & Sheila WatsonChallis, Simon Howard, Tom Kenyon-Slaney, Tony & Patrica Earle, Darley Anderson, Sue Irvine, Leanne Christie, Anita & Dave Kite, Barry Toepher, Bert Newton, Brendan Walsh, Carrie Siipola, Debbie Tawse, Celia Barnes, Christina Peters, Hannelore Federspiel, David & Jan Goodwin, Eunice & Ken Worden, Frank & Cavill Boggs, Graham & Tracey Dufty, Graham .
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Why Women Have a 'Sixth Sense'
Why Men Can't Lie to Women
She Hears Better Too
Women Read Between the Lines
Men Can 'Hear'.
What Modern Men and Women Want
Emotion in the Brain
Women Value Relationships, Men Value Work
Why Men 'Do Things'
Why Men and Women Leave Each
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Xem thêm: WHY MEN DON''''T LISTEN & WOMEN CAN''''T READ MAPS potx, WHY MEN DON''''T LISTEN & WOMEN CAN''''T READ MAPS potx, Same Species, Different Worlds I9, It's All In The Mind 57, Spatial Ability: Maps, Targets And Parallel Parking 118, Thoughts, Attitudes, Emotions And Other Disaster Areas 149, Boys Will Be Boys, But Not Always 197, Men, Women and Sex 216, Marriage, Love And Romance 255