Quan niệm và thái độ của vợ chồng trẻ về bình đẳng giới trong gia đình

Nghien ciiu Gia d i n h va G i i So - Quan niem va tiiai 06 cua va clidng tre ve binli fling gi6i gia dlinii Tran Thj Anh Thir Khoa Xa hoi hpc, Trudng Dai hoc Khoa hoc Xa hoi va Nhan van Ho Chf Minh Tom t a t : Bai viet dUa tren ke't qua ciia mot nghien cQu dinh tinh "Tim hieu quan niem cua nhQng doi vd chdng tre ve binh dang gi6i ddi song hon nhan gia dinh" Tac gia mong muo'n lam ro quan niem va thai cua cac cap vd chdng tre ve vai trd gi6i gia dinh; so sanh sU tUdng ddng va khae biet quan niem ve binh dang gi6i giQa ngUdi chong va ngUdi vd; md'i quan he giQa hanh phuc va binh dang gidi Ke't qua nghien cQu chd thay quan niem va hanh vi Qng xQ ciia nhQng doi vd cheng tre ve binh dang gidi trdng gia dinh bi chi pho'i nhieu bcii quan niem truyen tho'ng Nghien cQu cung chi rfing mac du nhQng ngUdi tre co tie'p nhan tU tu3ng mdi, nhU binh dang, quyen, tie'ng noi va cd hdi ngang bfing cho ca hai gi6i, nhien, dudi cac ap lUc xa hoi, ho van tiep tuc tri cac quan niem va hanh vi Qng xii co tinh cha't ba^t binh dang gidi the hien qua sU phan cong lao dong gia dinh, eac nguyen nhan d i n de'n mau thufin, bien phap giai quye't mau t h u i n nhfim hUdng de'n muc tieu trUdc mfit la sU hoa thuan va hanh phuc gia dinh Vd chdng tre nhan thQc dUdc sU can thie't phai co ye'u to' binh dang quan he vd chdng Tuy nhien, ho xae dinh la muc tieu lau dai, kho co the thUc hien giai doan hien tai Txi k h o a : Quan niem ve binh dang gidi; Gia dinh tre; Hanh phuc gia dinh Tran Thi Anh Thii 75 Gidi thieu Cho de'n nay, da cd rfit nhidu cugc nghien cuu vd chu dd "binh dfing gidi" dugc tien hanh vdi pham vi, quy md va tfnh chat khfic nhau, thu hut sy quan tam cua cgng ddng Ke't qua nghien cQu tQ cfic dd tai da phac hoa bQc tranh toan canh vd tinh trang bat binh dfing gidi d Viet Nam, muc finh hudng cua nd tien trinh phat tridn ciia dfit nudc Cd thd nhan thfiy muc tieu "binh dfing gidi" cfin cd sy phan dfiu ben bi khoang thdi gian tuong ddi dai mdi cd the dat dugc Do vay, viec tiep tyc khai thae, nghien cQu sau cfic khia canh mfing chu dd la hofin toan cfin thidt, dae biet la nhung nghien cuu vd quan niem ciia ngudi tre The' he Viet Nam sau chie'n tranh la the" he dugc sinh va nudi dudng d bdi cfinh va dieu kien xa hdi hoan toan khfic vdi cac the' he trudc dd, hg cd co hoi dugc tie'p nhan ndn tang kie'n thQc va kinh nghiem sd'ng tu nhidu ngudn khae nhau, cd ca hgi giao luu va hdi nhap qude te Vay lieu cac ye'u to cd tac dgng de'n sy hinh quan niem va thai cua the he tre vd binh dang gidi hdn nhan gia dinh hay khdng? Cd sy khfic biet gi vd quan niem binh dang gidi giua ngudi chdng va ngudi vg tre? Dd chfnh la nhung cau hdi chil yeu dat d bfii viet Trong nghien cQu nay, phuong phfip dinh tfnh dugc sQ dyng chu ydu vdi myc tieu nhfim khai phfi, kidm tra va phan tfch sau hon nhQng van dd khae lien quan de'n nhan thQc vfi thfii cua vg chdng tre vd binh dfing gidi gia dinh Trong khao sat thyc te, mfiu nghien cQu dugc hinh theo cfich chgn mfiu chi tieu vdi dung lugng mfiu la 24 trudng hgp: gdm 12 nam, 12 nQ da lap gia dinh; tudi tQ 22 - 30; so nam ket hdn dudi nam; sd hien cd tQ de'n con; chia lam nhdm, mdi nhdm ngudi Quan niem cua vg vfi chdng dugc tim hieu thdng qua nhan thuc cua hg vd cfic vai trd khfic cuoc sdng Cu thd, gdm vai trd sfin xua't tao thu nhap, vai trd qufin xuyen, cham sdc gia dinh va vai trd try cot Ket qua nghien ciiru 2.L Vai trd san xua't tao thu nhap Quan niem ciia nguoi vg tre NhQng ngudi vg tre dugc hdi dang tudi lao dgng sung sQc nhfit Hg ty y thuc dugc trach nhiem xay dyng cuoc sdng vat chfit dfiy dit cho mai fim gia dinh eua minh Ddng gdp va quan ly thu nhap la mot each thuc dd thyc hien nhiem vy dd Quan didm: "Vg cung phai di kiem tidn, 76 Nghien ciJu Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 20, so 5, tr 74-84 la kie'm khdng dugc nhidu nhung ma cung lam tidn, cung cd trach nhiem lo cho kinh te gia dinh" (NQ - budn ban - 29 tudi - kdt hdn nam) tuang ddi phd bie'n sd nhQng ngudi vg dugc hdi Hg mong mud'n dugc cung chdng gfinh vac nhimg khd khan vd kinh te' giai doan dfiu cua cugc sd'ng hdn nhan nhu la mdt bien phap dd vun ven cho hanh phuc gia dinh: "Thi phai phu them cho chdng vd tai chinh Vg chdng mdi cudi ma chi, cd rat nhidu khoan phai chi tieu Hien gid ddi sd'ng dang cao nen hai vg chdng phfii cung lam chQ mgt minh chdng khdng nudi het ndi" (NQ - nhan vien - 24 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Mat khfic, ban than nhung ngudi vg tre thdi ludn mud'n chung td khfi nang ddc lap vd kinh te, ty chu cap tai chinh dd dap Qng nhu cfiu eua minh Mdt ngudi vg tre cho bidt: "Ndi la cd chdng nhd vao chdng, chQ thyc bay gid chi khdng nghT la phan biet chdng hay vg, dan dng hay dan ba Bfin than minh cung phfii di lam, lao ngoai xa hgi ne'u cd didu kien nhu ngudi ta dd it ty nudi chinh ban than minh, rdi sau dd la cfii Minh cung dugc hge hanh nhu ngudi ta lai chd lai dgi." (Nu - nhan vien - 28 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Mdt ngudi vg khfic bay td ndi buc xue cua minh: "Bay gid chi rfit mudn di lam, kinh te'ddc lap vfin td't hon la mai phy thudc vao chdng Nhidu sd'ng dya vao tidn chdng va cha me chu cfip cung khdng thoai mai Ifim, d day la vd tinh thfin chQ khdng phfii Ifi vd tidn bac it hay nhieu." (NQ - nhan vien - 29 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Nhan xet vd vai trd cua ngudi chdng viec tao thu nhap, phfin ldn nhQng ngudi vg tre duge hdi ddu xae nhan dfiy la trfich nhiem chu ye'u cua ngudi dan dng Kie'm dugc tien cham lo cho gia dinh vd vat chat the hien ban ITnh dan dng mgi thdi dai Y kie'n sau khfi phd bie'n: "Ndi vd ndi trg thi chi nghT ngudi vg la tdt ban he't, tai vi chi 'thay dd chi la nhQng cdng viec nhd thdi, cdn de tao thu nhap cho gia dinh thi ngudi chdng dam nhan hay hon." (NQ - budn bfin - 23 tudi - ket hdn nam) NhQng ngudi vg tre vfin cdn quan niem rfing tao thu nhap la mdt trfich ldn lao va chu ye'u duge dat len vai cua nhiing ngudi chdng, ngudi cha gia dinh Ban than ngudi vg chi cd bdn phan "chung vai ganh vac trach nhiem kinh te' cung chdng, dd sau nfiy cdn lo cho cai dfiy dii" (Nu - lao ddng ty - 25 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Quan niem ciia ngirdi chong tre Ta't ca nhiing ngudi chdng nhdm mfiu phdng van ddu ty nhan vd minh trach nhiem nudi gia dinh Viec chu cfip dfiy du ve tai chinh, dem Tran Thi Anh Thii 77 de'n mdt cugc sd'ng thinh vugng vd vat chfit se the hien dugc nang lyc, ban ITnh, trach nhiem, va tinh yeu thuong ma ngudi dan dng danh cho gia dinh vg Didm chung la dd cap den ITnh vyc nay, hg khdng Iy giai nhidu va xem nhu la trfich nhiem tat nhien "khdng cfin ban cai" cua hg (Nam nhan vien - 28 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Cd den 10/12 ngudi chdng dugc hdi ty nhan minh la lao ddng chfnh gia dinh Chi cd trudng hgp cho rfing vg vfi chdng cung la lao ddng chinh Y kien phd bidn la: " da sd ' chdng di kie'm tien Ifi chfnh, cdn vg lo cdng viec gia dinh, rdi phy them Tat nhien la cung cd di lam nhung ma chi phu them thdi" (Nam - nhan vien - 28 tudi - ket hdn nam) Mdt ngudi chdng tre da ndi: "Tdi nghT thdi nfio cung vay, bdn phan cua ngudi chdng la phai kiem tien lo cho vg day du, khdng lam dugc didu dd thi that te, nhu la thQ vut di."( Nam - cdng nhan - 23 tudi - ket hdn nam) Dfiy la y kidn tieu bieu cho quan niem vd trfich nhiem va bdn phan cua ngudi chdng gia dinh Tren thyc te', nhu phfin phan tich vd nghe nghiep va thu nhap, hfiu he't eac cap vg chdng mfiu phdng van ddu tham gia lao ddng ngoai xa hdi vfi mang thu nhap vd gia dinh Theo each Iy giai cua nhiing ngudi chdng tre, cd the thd'ng ke hai nguyen nhan chil ydu dfin de'n viec hg chap nhan de vg di lam Mdt la vi nguyen nhan kinh te Cd den 4/6 ngudi nhdm (nhdm nam lao ddng phd thdng) thQa nhan didu nfiy Sau day Ifi mdt y kien rfit tieu bidu: "La dan dng ma, lai mudn dd vg minh di lam Do hoan cfinh bat budc hai vg chdng phfii cung di Ifim thdi." (Nam - lao ddng ty - 25 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Mdt ngudi khfic thi ndi: "Gid thi didu kien sd'ng cdn khd khan, budc ca hai vg chdng phai cung lam danh dum tien lo eho kinh te'gia dinh, tra tidn nhfi trg ng." (Nam - tai xe'taxi - 26 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Nguyen nhan thQ hai la vi "thuang vg, chidu vg" nen chap nhan dd vg di lam cho vui Y kidn thudng gap d nhQng ddi vg chdng cd didu kien kinh te tuang dd'i khfi gifi va chdng thudng Ifi trf thQc Mdt ngudi chdng da ndi: "Cd fiy cung cfin di lam chuyen mdn cd fiy cho khoay khda, anh ung hd, nhung ma anh vfin cQ thich cd fiy d nha lo cho gia dinh ban." (Nam cdng nhan - 30 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Tdm lai, tim hieu quan niem va thai Qng xu cua nhQng ngudi tre da lap gia dinh vd viec thye hien vai trd lao dong tao thu nhap, cac thdng tin dinh tinh thu dugc cho thay hfiu he't nhiing ngudi dugc hdi ddu xae dinh vi 78 Nghien cQu Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 20, so 5, tr 74-84 tri cua minh tuong dd'i rd rang Ngudi chdng thudng ty nhin nhan va dugc nhin nhan la ngudi cd trach nhiem chinh cung cfip tai chinh cho gia dinh Trong dd, vai trd cua ngudi vg nhiem vy dugc xem la chi mang tinh "hd trg, phy them" Quan didm khdng chi cd d ngudi chdng mfi ca d mdt sd ngudi vg tre Ben canh dd, cung cd nhOng ngudi vg di lam ngoai xa hdi dd chQng td khfi nang dgc lap vd kinh te' cua minh 2.2 Vai tro quan xuyen, cham soc gia dinh Quan niem cua ngu'di vg Ban than nhQng ngudi vg tre ndi vd vai trd "ndi tudng",' cham sde gia dinh, hg ludn ty nhan vd minh trach nhiem phfii dfim duong chu ye'u Hg y thQc dugc rfing, du xa hdi rat phfit trien, ngudi nhu dugc "chfip canh", hdi nhap vfio ndn van minh thd gidi bdi cac phuang tien sd'ng hien dai, nhung vai trd cua ngudi vg, ngudi me gia dinh vfin khdng the thay ddi Hg biet rfing gia dinh vfi xa hdi vfin cdn ky vgng d ho kha nang "dfim viec nhfi" hon la "gidi viec nudc" Mdt ngudi vg tre tri thQc da phfit bieu rfing: "Chi thich sd'ng theo khudn phep cua ngudi phu nQ A ddng, vi chi nghT dd la chuan myc dao dQc va cfin dugc dam bao Bdi vay, cd gia dinh, chi phfii cham lo het minh cho chdng con, tdi mQc minh cd the hoac hon mQc minh cd the " (NQ - Cfin bd Doan - 27 tudi - ket hdn nam) Hfiu he't nhQng ngudi phy nQ dugc hdi cho rfing hg cam thfiy vui va hanh phuc dugc tan tay cham sdc chdng, Mdt so ngudi goi dd Ifi "thien chQc", nhung ngudi khfic thi ggi la "bdn phan" Du dugc dinh danh dudi bfit ky ten ggi nao, noi trg va cham sdc gia dinh ddi vdi ngudi phy nQ ludn la nhiem vu hang dfiu va chie'm phan ldn thdi gian cua hg Theo quan niem cua nhirng ngudi vg tre, ndi trg va cham sdc gia dinh chu dao la phuang each td't nhfit de xay dyng va bfio ve hanh phuc gia dinh Mdt ngudi da phat bieu: "Chi nghT cdng viec cua ngudi phu nQ la mdt cai gi dd rfit quan trgng de giQ hanh phuc gia dinh ma cfii quan trgng nha't la phai don dep nha cua eham lo cho gia dinh, cfii" (NQ - nhan vien - 28 tudi - ket hdn nam) Ngudi vg ty nguyen giu vai trd kep gia dinh, vQa dam duang viec nha vua tham gia lao dgng tao thu nhap de giarh bdt cfic ap lyc tfii chinh gia dinh ddng thdi khfing dinh kha nang ddc lap vd kinh te' vdi chdng Vdi nhidu ngudi vg tre xa hgi nang ddng nay, hg da the hien sy sfin sang ddi mat vdi cac ap lyc, cd gfing lam trdn vai trd cua ngudi vg, ngudi me gia dinh du cho phai hi sinh thdi gian danh rieng cho ban Tran Thi Anh Thii 79 than Ben canh dd, khdng it ngudi vg tre da bay td mong mud'n dugc chdng san se cdng viec ngi trg, cham sdc gia dinh va cai Ho hi vgng vdi nhung nd lyc cua minh, chdng se dfin thay ddi vfi cd y thQc ty giac ban dd'i vdi nhung cdng viec tudng nhu rfit don gian gia dinh Mdt ngudi vg tre da bay td: "Trudc het la phai biet thdng cam cho vg, vg cung di lam, cung ta't bat d ngoai xa hgi dd kiem tien, ma giup cho vg dugc cfii gl thi cQ giup Vi dy nhu nhQng cfii nhd nhat nhu quet nha, rdi dgn dep ba cai dd Iinh kinh cua hay tfim rua cho eon, giup dugc gi thi nen giup, cho du nhd cung lam'cho vg minh vui." (NQ - nhan vien - 28 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Quan niem ciia ngudi chong Hfiu he't nhiing ngudi dan dng dugc hdi ddu quan niem ngi trg la cdng viec "nhd nhat" va phu hgp han vdi phy nQ: "Tai vi cung la truydn thd'ng A Ddng, ngudi phy nQ Viet Nam ludn ludn dam trfich vfin de ngi trg, gid'ng nhu Ifi quan gia dd Hg tinh te'han, kheo leo ban, trudc gid phy nu vfin vay, gid'ng nhu la thien chQc." (Nam - ky su - 30 tudi - ket hdn nam) Chinh tQ quan niem nhu vay ndn hg cho phep minh cd the dQng ngofii cugc viec dam duang vai trd Mdt ngudi chdng da ndi len quan didm va each Qng xQ ciia minh: "Ndi trg la cdng viec cua phy nQ, vl phy nu kheo leo ma Minh thi nao ranh rdi cung giup chifiymdt chut, nhu quet nha, lau nha, giu thdi vay dd." ( Nam - ky su -29 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Mot ngudi khfic cd quan didm rfit cQng rfin: "Ngudi chdng nen la ngudi lo kinh te, kiem tidn de nudi sd'ng gia dinh Cdn nhung cdng viec nhd nhat dd dd cho vg lam, minh phai lo nhung viec quan trgng chQ lam nhung cdng viec dd cung tdn thdi gian cua minh, minh dfinh thdi gian dd lam nhiing cdng viec khfic" (Nam - cdng nhan - 30 tudi - kdt hdn nam) Phan tfch thdng tin dinh tinh cd the thfiy quan niem cua mgt sd nhQng ngudi chdng dugc hdi cd bi finh hudng bdi mdi trudng gia dinh Cd de'n 7/12 ngudi xae nhan rfing cfich Qng xif cua cha me cd anh hudng den quan niem cua hg hien Nd thd hien each phan cdng lao ddng giQa cha va me, each day dd dd'i vdi trai va gai Mdt ngudi chdng tre da ke: "Trong nhfi anh hdi trude, nhQng viec bep nue, giat giu chi cd me va cac chi anh lam Ba anh khdng bao gid dung de'n nhQng chuyen dd Anh nghT dd la each xu sy cua dan dng." (Nam - ky su - 30 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Thdng thudng, nhQng ngudi chdng dugc hdi danh gia cao tfim quan cua cdng viec ngi trg ddi vdi hanh phuc gia dinh Khi vai trd ndi trg 80 Nghien cQu Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 20, so 5, tr 74-84 dugc thyc hien td't va chu dfio thi nd cd kha nang giup dinh hinh mdt mai am gia dinh, gfin ke't cac vien lai vdi mgt each bdn chat hem Ho Iy gifii rfing, bdi vi vai trd ndi trg thudng dugc ap dat cho gidi nu, vay nhung ngudi chdng thudng dat ky vgng vao vg se hoan td't trach nhiem nay; "Minh cam thfiy ne'u vg minli lam td't cdng viec dd thi gia dinh se hanh phuc, vui ve ban" (Nam - cdng nhan - 28 tudi - kdt hdn nam) Quan niem tren kha phd bie'n so nhQng ngudi dugc hdi Tuy nhien, ben canh dd, cung cd y kie'n khae cd vu cho sy chia se trach nhiem giua vg va chdng: "Hai vg chdng cung chia cdng viec ngi trg, nd cd nhidu y nghTa chuyen tinh cam cua hai ngudi, nd cang gfin ket hai ngudi hon Ndi chung la cd sy ddng long thi ddi sd'ng vg chdng cd hanh phuc va cam tha'y tuyet vdi hon." (Nam - giao vien - 29 tudi - kdt hdn nam) Mac du, khdng cd nhidu ngudi dugc hdi the hien quan diem nhu tren, nhung phfin nfio nd cung phan anh dugc sy tdn tai cua mdt cfich nghT va each Qng xu mdi cua nhung ngudi chdng tre Hfiu he't nhiing ngudi chdng tre dugc hdi ddu nhin nhan kha nang ngudi vg tre cd the tham gia lao ddng ngofii xa hdi de tao thu nhap, chia se bdt fip lyc vd tai chinh gia dinh Trong thyc te', nhQng ngudi chdng cd cdn tao didu kien cho vg di lam Tuy nhien, mdt so ngudi chdng tre da khdng ngfin ngai bay td quan diem vd mfiu ngudi vg ma ho mudn cd, dd la mfiu ngudi phy nu cua gia dinh Mdt ngudi chdng da ndi: "Tfit nhien la minh thich mfiu ngudi d nha cham sdc nhidu ban" (Nam - ky su - 29 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Mot ngudi khfic cho bie't: "Ne'u cd didu kien tdi chi mud'n vg d nha, chi lam ndi trg cho an nhfin, com canh ngon ngot la dugc, la hanh phuc nhat rdi" (Nam - lao ddng ty - 25 tudi -"kdt hdn nam) Nhu tren da dd cap, nhung ngudi chdng tre cho vg di lam vi hai nguyen nhan chinh, mdt la dd giam ap lyc tai chinh, hai la de cho vg "khoay khda" Nhin chung, hg vfin mong mud'n vg d nha lam cdng viec ndi trg - mdt cdng viec rfit "an nhan" theo quan niem cua ngudi dan dng Tdm lai, nhQng ngudi vg tre cd xu hudng dugc tidp can nhidu ban vdi co hoi di lam ngoai xa hoi, de gifim ap lyc kinh te' cho gia dinh va ty khfing dinh minh Tuy nhien, gfinh nang cdng viec nha vfin cdn nfim tren ddi vai hg Chua cd sy van ddng va thay ddi rd net quan niem cua ca hai gidi vd trach nhiem lam ngi trg va cham sdc gia dinh Viec nhfi vfin cdn dugc xem la "cdng viec nhd nhat" phu hgp vdi nQ gidi han la dfin dng Trong ngudi vg trdng chd vao sy chia se cita ngudi chdng vd thdi gian vat chfit dfinh cho viec nha thi ngudi chdng vfin danh nhidu thdi gian han Tran Thi Anh Thii 81 cho nhung giao tiep ngoai xa hoi 2.3 Vai tro tru cot Day cd the xem la mdt khai niem rdng, mdi ngudi cd each hieu va Qng xu vd nd khdng gid'ng Vdi ngudi dan dng, vai trd try cdt thd hien d quyen "ra quye't dinh chu yeu" (9/12 y kien), "chi lam nhung viec Idn lao" (8/12 y kie'n) va trfich nhiem "lao ddng tao thu nhap chinh" (8/12 y kien) Trong dd, vdi nhung ngudi vg tre, hg quan niem vai trd try cot gfin lidn vdi pham chat "manh me, quyet dofin va cd ban ITnh trudc khd khan" (9/12 y kie'n) vay cho nen "ngudi try cdt" dugc trdng chd dua cac quyet dinh chu ye'u gia dinh (7/12 y kie'n) Trong quan niem cua nhQng ngudi vg tie, hg bfit ngudn tu phfim chfit dugc ky vgng d ngudi dfin dng dd nhin nhan va tin tudng vao kha nang quyet dinh cua ngudi chdng NhQng phfim chat dd bao gdm: manh me quyet dofin, ban ITnh trude khd khan (8/12 y kien); la ngudi cd uy tin gia dinh va ngofii xa hdi (5/12); dao dQc, guong mfiu, cd trach nhiem (5/12) Cdn dd'i vdi ngudi chdng, hg xem vai trd "ra quyet dinh chu yeu" la mot bidu hien ciia quydn lyc try cdt gia dinh Hg thudng gifii thich "Hdi xua gid da vay rdi" cho quydn cua minh Mot ngudi chdng khae gifii thich rd ban: "Minh ndi it nhidy thi trudc gid ngudi dfin dng bao gid cung la ngudi cfim trich gia dinh Minh nghT rfing cd nhidu ye'u td ggi nhu la vd van hda, vd xa hdi hay tam sinh ly gi dd thi ngudi dan dng cd nhidu ye'u td ndi trdi ban de trd ngudi try cdt gia dinh td't ban la phu nu." (Nam - ky su - 30 tudi - ke't hdn nam) Tdm tai, quan niem truydn thdng vd vai trd gidi vfin cdn tdn tai nhan thQc va each Qng xir cua nhiing ddi vg chdng tre Vai trd try cot dugc nhin nhan d cac khia canh khfic quan diem cua nhdm ngudi chdng tre va nhdm ngudi vg tre Nhdm ngudi chdng cd xu hudng nhfin manh de'n quydn lyc va trfich nhiem dua cfich hidu vd khai niem try cdt Trong dd, nhdm ngudi vg lai nhan manh den nhung dQc tinh va kha nang can cd dd dam duang vai trd Ban than hfiu he't nhQng ngudi vg tre ty nhin nhan minh la "phfii yeu" va cd nhu cfiu duge "che chd" bdi ngudi chdng cua minh Day la didu ly gifii vi hfiu bet nhQng ngudi dugc hdi ddu cho rfing vai trd try cot thudc vd ngudi chdng 2.4 Hieu the nao la binh dang gioi Tuy didn dat bfing nhidu each khae vd binh dfing gidi, nhung ngudi dugc hdi da dua mgt each hidu tuong ddi rd rang va dae trung cho 82 Nghien cQu Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 20, so 5, tr 74-84 nhdm mfiu nghien cQu Binh dfing gidi theo hg la sy ty giac chia se trach nhiem cham lo cho gia dinh vd ca vat chfit va tinh thfin, tdn trgng Ifin giua vg va chdng, tdn trgng y kie'n, mong mud'n, sd thich va nidm tin vd nhan phfim cua Ye'u td "ty gific chia se" dugc nhfin manh vfi dugc xem la "chia khda" dd hudng den myc tidu binh dfing gidi "Chi nghT dd giai phdng phy nu, chia khda d chd la y thQc cua ca nam va nQ, ty nguyen chia se vdi tat ca mgi chuyen gia dinh, cd nhu vay mdi dem lai CO hdi cho ca hai, mdi hidu nhau, thuong ban." (NQ - Can bd dofin 28 tudi - kdt hdn nam) De cd dugc y thuc ty gific "chia se" vdi vd cdng viec, trach nhiem, ndi nidm cugc sd'ng, nhQng ngudi vg va ngudi chdng tre dang cd gfing vugt qua cac dinh kie'n gidi cdn tdn tai quan niem -sdng cua hg Dd la sy tu ti vd bfin than, y nghi phan biet vai trd vfi nang lyc cua phfii ye'u, phai manh Mat khfic, cd diem cfin luu y la dd cap de'n binh dfing gidi, lap tuc nhQng ngudi dugc hdi thudng hidu nghieng vd binh dfing gidi cho phy nu, hg ky vgng vao sy thay ddi quan niem cua ngudi dan dng cac Qng xu vd quan he gidi va khdng trudng hgp nao dua quan diem nhin nhan tren bmh dien cac vfin dd cua cfi hai gidi Thyc chat, de dat dugc myc tieu binh dang gidi, ban than ngudi vg va ngudi chdng phfii cung van ddng, ty thay ddi quan didm cua minh, giQ lai cd chon Igc nhQng gifi trj truydn thd'ng lam thudc qufi trinh hanh xQ Binh dfing gidi khdng thd cd gia dinh mfi mdt hai vfin edn giQ dinh kien gidi quan niem sd'ng cita minh 2.5 Mdi quan he giua binh dang gidi va hanh phiic gia dinh Ddi vdi cac gia dinh tre mfiu nghien cuu, binh dang gidi va hanh phuc gia dinh cd md'i quan he mat thie't vdi Hai myc tieu dan xen va bd sung cho Ddi khi, quan niem vd binh dfing gidi cua nhung ngudi dugc hdi trung Ifip vdi quan niem ve hanh phuc NhQng thfing nam dfiu tien cua ddi sdng hdn nhan la khoang thdi gian that sy khd khan cho nhQng ddi vg chdng tre viec tao dyng ndn tang hanh phuc gia dinh Nhimg va cham cugc sd'ng hang se lam hg hieu hon vd "nua kia" cua minh Tinh yeu cd thd dugc cung cd them hoac dfin ran nQt Ngudi vg va ngudi chdng tre nhan thQc rat rd didu Mdi ngudi deu it nhidu da dinh hinh nhQng "chidn luge" dd vugt qua giai doan khd khan, giQ gin hanh phuc hdn nhan Dieu chinh cfich Qng xu cho phu hgp vdi tfnh cfich cua la bien phap thudng dugc nhiing ngudi mfiu nghien cuu ap dyng Cd 19/24 trudng hgp phdng vfin xae nhan didu Ban than ngudi cugc thudng dung tQ "chidu chudng" dd didn tfi each Tran Thi Anh Thii 83 ung xu cua minh NhQng ngudi tre mfiu nghien cQu khdng hidu tQ "chidu chudng" vdi nghTa "hoan toan thda hiep" mfi la "nhudng nhin" vfi "tin tudng vao sy thay ddi" cua (NQ - Cfin bd dofin - 28 tudi - ket hdn nam) Ca ngudi vg vfi ngudi chdng tre thudng cd gfing kim che "cai tdi" cua minh dd giQ gin hda gia dinh Dae biet, quan niem truyen thd'ng "dan dng xay nha, dan ba xay td fim" vfin cdn cd finh hudng sau sfic den mgt sd ddi vg chdng tre dugc hdi Ban than ngudi phy nu, du tudi ddi cdn rat tre va sd nam ket hdn chua nhidu, cung thudng tu nhan vd minh trfich nhiem quan trgng hon viec bao ve hanh phuc gia dinh Hg sfin sfing lui vd phfa sau lam hau phuong cho chdng phfit tridn sy nghiep ngoai xa hdi: "Minh cQng mong mudn la cd mdt sy nghiep rang rd nhung ma neu nhu nd finh hudng tdi gia dinh thi minh sfin sang tQ bd sy nghiep de lo cho gia dinh Chi vfin nghT la khdng the tim thay the' viec cham lo cho gia dinh, cai nhu ngudi phu nQ dugc." (NQ - Cfin bd doan - 28 tudi - ket hdn nam) Trong dd, ngudi chdng ty giac gfinh Ifiy trach nhiem ma ho cho la nang nd va khd khan, ddng thdi ludn phan dfiu dem den cuoc sd'ng td't dep vd vat chat vfi tinh thfin cho vg Vdi cfich Qng xu nay, nhung ngudi cugc cam thfiy toai nguyen va hanh phuc Cd the ngudi ngoai cuoc nhan dinh rfing dudng nhu cd tinh trang bat binh dang quan he vg chdng Bidu hien la ngudi vg tre dd ft tie'p can ban vdi co hoi thang tie'n, ft dugc trao quydn va tie'ng ndi kem quan trgng ban so vdi ngudi chdng Tuy nhien, rd rang ngudi cuoc khdng nghT nhu the' Nhan thQc vd quydn vfi nghTa vu trudng hgp nay, cd the ndi da chiu sy chi phdi cua quan niem phd bie'n vd vai trd truydn thd'ng cua ngudi vg, la cham lo hanh phuc gia dinh, coi sy dat cua chdng la hanh phuc cua minh va Ifiy nhudng nhin lam sy toai nguyen cua minh Ke't luan NhQng nam thfing dfiu tien cua ddi sd'ng hdn nhan Ifi khoang thdi gian rfit quan trgng ddi vdi vg chdng tre Day la luc ho phai nd lyc that nhidu de chfit chiu vfi dfip xay tQng vien gach cho ngdi nha hanh phuc De lam dugc dieu dd, hg phfii chu dong ty thay ddi dd thfch nghi vdi hang loat nhQng trach nhiem mdi Dae biet, bdi canh xa boi ddi hdi nhidu ban d ngudi chdng va ngudi vg tre the hien vai trd cua minh gia dinh va ngoai xa hgi Thyc te', sy van dong cua nhdm vg chdng tre hien mfiu nghien cQu chua that sy hudng de'n muc tieu binh dfing gidi 84 Nghien cQu Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 20, so 5, tr 74-84 Dudi cac fip lyc xa hgi, ngudi vg va ngudi chdng tre vfin tie'p tyc tri cfic quan niem va hanh vi Qng xu cd tfnh chfit bfit bmhdfing gidi Didu thd hien qua sy phan cdng lao dgng gia dinh, cac nguydn nhan dfin de'n mau thufin, bien phfip giai quye't mau thufin NhQng ngudi cugc Iy gifii rfing each Qng xu cua hg nhfim hudng den myc tieu trudc mfit la sy hda thuan va hanh phuc gia dinh NhQng ngudi vg va chdng tre nhan thQc dugc su can thidt phfii cd ydu to binh dfing quan he vg chdng Tuy nhien, hg xae dinh dd la muc tieu lau dfii, khd cd the thyc hien giai doan hien tai Nhin chung, nhQng ngudi chdng va ngudi vg tre mfiu nghien cQu khdng xfic nhan cd mdt sy phan chia rd rfing vai trd chii ye'u cua hg cac hoat ddng sd'ng cua gia dinh Tuy nhidn, the hien qua thai Qng xu vd phan cdng lao dgng, ngudi vg vfin dugc ky vgng ban d trfich nhiem quan xuye'n, cham sdc gia dinh, dd, ngudi chdng dugc ky vgng d vai trd lam chu gia dinh, nang lyc kidm tidn va bao bgc vg Ban than nhQng ngudi vg tre, dae biet Ifi nhdm tri thQc, hg khdng dfim chii dgng thay ddi hoac lam ngugc lai vdi nhung gl mfi ho cho la chuan muc vfi truydn thd'ng Vdi nhdm ngudi chdng tre, tam Iy lo ngai sy che trfich cua gia dinh va xa hdi cang gay fip lyc cho hg viec the hien vai trd try cdt va "ban ITnh" cua ngudi dan dng trudc mat mgi ngudi Mau thufin gia dinh tre thudng nfiy sinh chu ydu quan didm bat ddng vd y thQc trach nhiem ddi vdi gia dinh, fip lyc tai chinh, thieu sy ddng cfim chia se giua hai vg chdng, hanh vi gia trudng Phuong each chu ydu dugc sQ dyng dd ban che' hoac gifii quydt mau thufin Ifi thfch nghi, chiu dung va kidm chd cfii "tdi" cua minh Cd tinh trang bao hanh vd thd xae, tinh thfin, tinh dye va kinh td nhung gia dinh tre dugc nghien cQu Tuy nhien, khdng phai cung nhin nhan thay va dinh danh nd la bao hanh gia dinh Kdt qufi nghidn cQu cho thfiy binh dfing gidi va hanh phuc gia dinh ed mdi quan he mat thie't vdi Con dudng tien de'n hanh phuc va dudng tie'n de'n binh dfing gidi cd nhidu didm tuong ddng Nd ddu xufit phat tQ y thQc ty gific dfim duong vfi chia se vdi cac trfich nhiem ddi sd'ng hdn nhan gia dinh NhQng Qng xQ dd dat muc tieu binh dfing gidi thudng dugc dinh hudng vfi chi phd'i bdi muc tidu hanh phuc Ngudi vg tre sfin sang lui vd phfa sau lam hau phuong cho chdng thang tien, va hg coi dd la hanh phuc cua minh Cdn dd'i vdi ngudi chdng tre, hg hanh phuc dugc thd hien ban ITnh vfi nang luc lam chu gia dinh, mang de'n sy an tam vd vat cha't va tinh thfin cho vo con.* ... gia dinh Mdt ngudi da phat bieu: "Chi nghT cdng viec cua ngudi phu nQ la mdt cai gi dd rfit quan trgng de giQ hanh phuc gia dinh ma cfii quan trgng nha't la phai don dep nha cua eham lo cho gia. .. niem sd'ng cita minh 2.5 Mdi quan he giua binh dang gidi va hanh phiic gia dinh Ddi vdi cac gia dinh tre mfiu nghien cuu, binh dang gidi va hanh phuc gia dinh cd md'i quan he mat thie't vdi Hai... ca hgi giao luu va hdi nhap qude te Vay lieu cac ye'u to cd tac dgng de'n sy hinh quan niem va thai cua the he tre vd binh dang gidi hdn nhan gia dinh hay khdng? Cd sy khfic biet gi vd quan niem