Steps to Writing Well
114 PART ONE - THE BASICS OF THE SHORT ESSAY ts my c i d a r t n Co oint ¶'s p the rather ph This paruagprpaor t doesn’t s s my thesi claim —he I mean ts no dor m haties good par ough or not en par ties? so Rethinkt my poin is clear this As s tatendt,ence topic sedicts contra sis my the in the CHAPTER - DRAFTING AND REVISING: CREATIVE THINKING, CRITICAL THINKING The eggs look and taste like nothing I ever had before They look Some goods— exampleuse could I re even moive descript e ? languag like plastic and they are never hot I had eggs once and I vowed I Unity? excitement in the student’s day because everyone cracks jokes and would never have another one as long as I lived in Holland Hall The most enjoyable part of breakfast is the orange juice It’s always cold and it seems to be fresh No one can say dorm food is totally boring because the cooks break up the monotony of the same food by serving “mystery meat” at least once every two weeks This puts a little wonders just what’s in this “mystery meat.” I think a lot of students are afraid to ask, fearful of the answer, and simply make snide remarks and shovel it in All in all, I believe dorm life isn’t too great, even though Can I e concludically emp hat without g switchins? position there are some good times Even though I complain about dorm food, the people, the parties, and everything else, I am glad I am here I am happy because I have learned a lot about other people, responsibilities, consideration, and I’ve even learned a lot about myself B Assume that the essay below is a draft written by one of your classmates who has asked you for help during a class workshop Using your best critical thinking skills, offer some marginal comments and questions that will guide this writer through an effective revision process MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T GO AWAY TO COLLEGE Going away to college is not for everyone There are good reasons why a student might choose to live at home and attend a local school Money, finding stability while changes are occurring, and accepting responsibility are three to consider Money is likely to be most important Not only is tuition more expensive, but extra money is needed for room and board Whether room and board is a dorm or an apartment, the expense is great 115 116 PART ONE - THE BASICS OF THE SHORT ESSAY Most students never stop to consider that the money that could be saved from room and board may be better spent in future years on graduate school, which is likely to be more important in their careers Going to school is a time of many changes anyway, without adding the pressure of a new city or even a new state Finding stability will be hard enough, without going from home to a dorm Starting college could be an emotional time for some, and the security of their home and family might make everything easier When students decide to go away to school, sometimes because their friends are going away, or maybe because the school is their parents’ alma mater, something that all need to decide is whether or not they can accept the responsibility of a completely new way of life Everyone feels as if they are ready for total independence when they decide to go away to college, but is breaking away when they are just beginning to set their futures a good idea? Going away to school may be the right road for some, but those who feel that they are not ready might start looking to a future that is just around the corner ✰ ASSIGNMENT Select a body paragraph from one of the preceding student essays and revise it, making any change in focus, organization, development, sentence construction, or word choice you feel is necessary Feel free to elaborate on, eliminate, or change the content to improve the paragraph’s organization and development SOME LAST ADVICE: HOW TO PLAY WITH YOUR MENTAL BLOCKS Every writer, sooner or later, suffers from some form of Writer’s Block, the inability to think of or organize ideas Symptoms may include sweaty palms, pencil chewing, and a pronounced tendency to sit in corners and CHAPTER - DRAFTING AND REVISING: CREATIVE THINKING, CRITICAL THINKING weep Although not every “cure” works for everyone, here are a few suggestions to help minimize your misery: Try to give yourself as much time as possible to write your essay Don’t try to write the entire paper in one sitting By doing so, you may place yourself under too much pressure Writer’s Block often accompanies the “up against the wall” feeling that strikes at 2:00 A.M the morning your essay is due at 9:00 Rome wasn’t constructed in a day, and neither are most good essays Because most of us have had more experience talking than writing, try verbalizing your ideas Sometimes it’s helpful to discuss your ideas with friends or classmates Their questions and comments (not to mention their sympathy for your temporary block) will often trigger the thoughts you need to begin writing again Or you might try talking into a recorder so you can hear what you want to say When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, something’s going to give Conquer the task: break the paper into manageable bits Instead of drooping with despair over the thought of a ten-page research paper, think of it as a series of small parts (explanation of the problem, review of current research, possible solutions, or whatever) Then tackle one part at a time and reward yourself when that section’s done Get the juices flowing and the pen moving Try writing the easiest or shortest part of your essay first A feeling of accomplishment may give you the boost of confidence you need to undertake the other, more difficult sections If no part looks easy or inviting, try more prewriting exercises, as described in Chapter 1, until you feel prepared to begin the essay itself Play “Let’s Make a Deal” with yourself Sometimes we just can’t face the failure that we are predicting for ourselves Strike a bargain with yourself: promise yourself that you are only going to work on your paper for fifteen minutes—absolutely, positively only fifteen minutes, not a second more, no sir, no way If in fifteen minutes, you’re on to something good, ignore your promise to yourself and keep going If you’re not, then leave and come back for another fifteen-minute session later ( if you started early enough, you can this without increasing your anxiety) Give yourself permission to write garbage Take the pressure off yourself by agreeing in advance to tear up the first page or two of whatever you write You can always change your mind if the trash turns out to be treasure; if it isn’t, so what? You said you were going to tear it up anyway Imagine that your brain is a water faucet If you’re like most people, you’ve probably lived in a house or apartment containing a faucet that needed to run a few minutes before the hot water started to come out Think of your 117 118 PART ONE - THE BASICS OF THE SHORT ESSAY brain in the same way, and some other, easier writing task to warm up Write a letter, make a grocery list, copy notes, whatever, to get your brain running When you turn to your paper, your thoughts may be hotter than you thought Remove the threat by addressing a friendly face Sometimes we can’t write because we are too worried about what someone else will think about us or maybe we can’t write because we can’t figure out who would want to read this stuff anyway Instead of writing into a void or to an audience that seems threatening, try writing to a friend Imagine what that friend’s responses might be and try to elaborate or clarify wherever necessary If it helps, write the first draft as a letter (“Dear Clyde, I want to tell you what happened to me last week ”), and then redraft your ideas as an essay when you’ve found your purpose and focus, making whatever changes in tone or development are necessary to fit your real audience If Writer’s Block does hit, remember that it is a temporary bogdown, not a permanent one Other writers have had it—and survived to write again Try leaving your papers and taking a walk outdoors or at least into another room Think about your readers—what should they know or feel at this point in your essay? As you walk, try to complete this sentence: “What I am trying to say is .” Keep repeating this phrase and your responses aloud until you find the answer you want Sometimes while you’re blocked at one point, a bright idea for another part of your essay will pop into your head If possible, skip the section that’s got you stuck and start working on the new part (At least jot down the new idea somewhere so it won’t be lost when you need it later.) Change partners and dance If you’re thoroughly overcome by the vast white wasteland on the desk (or screen) before you, get up and something else for a while Exercise, balance your checkbook, or put on music and dance (Mystery writer Agatha Christie claimed she did her best planning while washing the dishes.) Give your mind a break and refresh your spirit When you come back to the paper or computer, you may be surprised to discover that your subconscious writer has been working while the rest of you played Here’s the single most important piece of advice to remember: relax No one—not even the very best professional writer—produces perfect prose every time pen hits paper If you’re blocked, you may be trying too hard; if your expectations of your first draft are too high, you may not be able to write at all for fear of failure You just might be holding yourself back by being a perfectionist at this point You can always revise and polish your prose in another draft—the first important step is jotting down your ideas Remember that once the first word or phrase appears on your blank page, a major battle has been won CHAPTER - DRAFTING AND REVISING: CREATIVE THINKING, CRITICAL THINKING CHAPTER SUMMARY Here is a brief summary of what you should remember about revising your writing: Revision is an activity that occurs in all stages of the writing process All good writers revise their prose extensively Revision is not merely editing or last-minute proofreading; it involves important decisions about the essay’s ideas, organization, and development To revise effectively, novice writers might review their drafts in steps, to avoid the frustration that comes with trying to fix everything at once Critical thinking skills are vitally important today to all good readers and writers Most writers experience Writer’s Block at some time but live through it to write again C 62 00 00 00 00 00 12 08 Critical Thinking 119 C h a p t e r Effective Sentences An insurance agent was shocked to open his mail one morning and read the following note from one of his clients: “In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.” However, he may not have been more surprised than the congregation who read this announcement in their church bulletin: “There will be a discussion tomorrow on the problem of adultery in the minister’s office.” Or the patrons of a health club who learned that “guest passes will not be given to members until the manager has punched each of them first.” Certainly, there were no babies born in an envelope, nor was there adultery in the minister’s office, and one doubts that the club manager was planning to assault the membership But the implications (and the unintended humor) are nevertheless present—solely because of the faulty ways in which the sentences were constructed To improve your own writing, you must express your thoughts in clear, coherent sentences that produce precisely the reader response you want Effective sentences are similar to the threads in a piece of knitting or weaving: each thread helps form the larger design; if any one thread becomes tangled or lost, the pattern becomes muddled In an essay, the same is true: if any sentence is fuzzy or obscure, the reader may lose the point of your discussion and in some cases never bother to regain it Therefore, to retain your reader, you must concentrate on writing informative, effective sentences that continuously clarify the purpose of your essay Many problems in sentence clarity involve errors in grammar, usage, and word choice; the most common of these errors are discussed in Chapter and Part Four of this text In this chapter you’ll find some general suggestions for writing clear, concise, engaging sentences However, don’t try to apply all the rules to the first draft of your essay Revising sentences before your ideas are firmly in place may be a waste of effort if your essay’s stance or structure changes Concentrate first on your essay’s content and general organization; then, in a later draft, rework your sentences so that each one is informative and clear Your reader reads only the words on the page, not those in your mind—so it’s up to you to make sure the sentences in your essay approximate the thoughts in your head as closely and vividly as possible 122 PART ONE - THE BASICS OF THE SHORT ESSAY REMEMBER All good writers revise and polish their sentences DEVELOPING A CLEAR STYLE When you are ready to revise the sentences in your rough draft for clarity, try to follow the following five rules Give Your Sentences Content Fuzzy sentences are often the result of fuzzy thinking When you examine your sentences, ask yourself, “Do I know what I’m talking about here? Or are my sentences vague or confusing because I’m really not sure what my point is or where it’s going?” Look at this list of content-poor sentences taken from student essays; how could you reword and put more information into each one? If you were to observe a karate class, you would become familiar with all the aspects that make it up The meaning of the poem isn’t very clear the first time you read it, but after several readings, the poet’s meaning comes through One important factor that is the basis for determining a true friend is the ability that person has for being a real human being Listening is important because we all need to be able to sit and hear all that is said to us Don’t pad your paragraphs with sentences that run in circles, leading nowhere; rethink your ideas and revise your writing so that every sentence—like each brick in a wall—contributes to the construction of a solid discussion In other words, commit yourself to a position and make each sentence contain information pertinent to your point; leave the job of padding to mattress manufacturers Sometimes, however, you may have a definite idea in mind but still continue to write “empty sentences”—statements that alone not contain enough information to make a specific point in your discussion Frequently, an empty sentence may be revised by combining it with the sentence that follows, as shown in the examples here The empty, or overly general, sentences are underlined Poor There are many kinds of beautiful tropical fish The kind most popular with aquarium owners is the angelfish ... regardless to of insight of into similar with to comply to with off of different than to from must of have known superior than to to in my opinion meet to her standards relate with to capable to of... your prose, try to use active verbs instead of nouns and colorless verbs such as ? ?to be,” ? ?to have,” ? ?to get,” ? ?to do,” and ? ?to make”: Wordy By sunrise the rebels had made their way to the capital... didn’t want him to go or not I gave the money to my brother, who returned it to the bank president, who said the decision to prosecute was up to the sheriff, who was out of town I went to the florist