Trong cuốn Học tiếng Anh qua truyện cười song ngữ - Truyện cười nước Anh (Tập 1), tác giả đặc biệt muốn giới thiệu với bạn đọc tính u-mua - một đặc trưng nổi tiếng của người Anh và nền văn học Anh, thông qua những câu chuyện dí dỏm. Mời các bạn cùng tham khảo nội dung phần 2 cuốn sách.
34 A Mrs Grey was old and deaf, and she was in court accusing a neighbour of allowing his dogs to come into her garden, damage her vegetables and run after her cat and her chickens After heanng both sides the judge thought that it would be best and cheapest for everybody if Mrs Grey and her neighbour could come to some sort of arrangement to settle the matter between themselves, so he askeđ the lavvyer who was representing Mrs Grey to íind out ho\v much money she wanted from her neighbour in order to stop the action against him Her hnvyer explaned to her what was happemng, but Mrs Grev could not hear what he said, so he repeateđ loudly: "The iudge wants to know what you will take" "Oh you very mueh" Mrs Grey answered politely "Please tell him that ril have a glass of beer" 97 B Bà Grey vừa già vừa điếc Một hôm bà tịa buộc tội người láng giềng để chó vào vườn bà phá hoại rau quả, đuổi mèo bắt gà Sau nghe hai bên trình bày, quan tịa nghĩ cách tốt rẻ tiền cho người làm cách để bà Grey người láng giềng tự thỏa thuận cách giải Ong bảo luật sư đại diện cho bà Grey hỏi xem bà yêu cầu đền tiền thơi khơng kiện VỊ luật sư giải thích cho bà hiểu bà Grey khơng nghe thấy gì, ơng ta nói to hơn: "Chánh án muốn biết bà lẩy gì?" Bà Grey trả lịi lịch sự: "Ơi! xin cảm ơn Nói hộ với ông cho cốc bia" c C H Ú T H ÍC H M ện h để đ iể u kiện: If they could it, would because best D BÀI TẬP A W H IC H OF TH ESE SEN TEN C ES ARE TRƯE A N D W H I C H A R E F A L S E (F )? W R I T E T O R F I N (T ) THE BO X ES Mrs Grey's dogs had run after a neighbour’s chickens n The judge was aíraid that Mrs Grey and her neighbour might settle the matter betw een them selves n Mrs Grey's lavvver asked her how much money she wanted 98 D □□ Mrs Grey did not understand him, because she was deaf She thought the judge had offered her a drink The judge had really asked her what she would like to drink D B A N S W E R T H E S E Q U E S T IO N S Why had Mrs Grey come to court? What did the judge decide? What did he as a resuỉt? What did Mrs Grey's lavvyer then? What happened to Mrs Grey? And what did the lawyer do? What was Mrs Grey's answer? What mistake had she made? 99 35 A A man who bored with living in London and desìred to move to the country was looking for a house from which he could get to his office in the city easily every day One day he saw answer advertisem ent for a suitable house in Hampshire which was claimed to be within a stone's throw of a railvvay station from which there were írequent trains to London He telephoned the house agency and arranged to go đown by train the next dav and have a look at the house The house agent met him at the station and they đrove to the house, which was at least a kilometre from the station The men who had come to see the house turned to the house agent when they reacheđ it and objected, "I should be very interested to ineet the man who threw that stone you mentioned in your advertisement!" 100 B Một người chán cảnh sống London muôn chuyên sông vùng quê Ong ta tìm ngơi nhà mà từ ỉàm dễ dàng Một hôm ông trông thấy tờ quảng cáo cho ngơi nhà thích hợp với ông Hampshire Người ta nói nhà cách nhà ga có tầm ném đá, mà ga dó thường xuyên có tàu London Ong gọi điện thoại cho đại lý nhà đất chuẩn bị hơm sau tàu xuống xem nhà Đại lý nhà đất đón ơng ỏ ga họ tơ ngơi nhà đó, cách ga số Khi đến nơi, ông xem nhà quay lại viên đại lý nhà đất phản đôn "Tôi muốn gặp người ném hịn đá mà ơng nói đến mục quảng cáo” c C H Ú T H ÍC H Đại từ quan hệ which mang chức nang bổ ngữ có thê để ẩn được: Ví dụ: ril buv the house (which) my wife likes Ví dụ: He likes a house from which he could get to his office easily D BÀI TẬP A W H IC H O F T H E S E S E N T E N C E S A R E T R U E (T) A N D W H IC H A R E F A L S E (F)? W R IT E T OR F IN T H E B O X E S The man in this story wanted to live m the country, but work in London Li He wanted to live near a station u He saw an advertisement for a house near a station Lj He saw an advertisement for a house near his oíĩice u 101 He went from London to Hampshire w ith the house agent ũ The house was not really only a stone's throw from the station B A N S W E R T H E S E Q U E S T IO N S Why did the man in this story want to leave London? Where did he w ant his new house to be? What did the advertisem ent for the house in Hampshire claim? What did the man when he saw the advertisement? What happened when he got to station? How far w as the house from the staion? What did the man say to the house agent? What had the writer of the advertisem ent really meant? c P Ư T O N E W O R D IN E A C H SP A C E : Y O Ư W IL L F IN D A L L T H E W O R D S IN T H E ST O R Y When Mrs Wiliams's children grew up and left home, she had nothing to "Pra " she said to her husband "I want a job" Her husband suggeted that she should put an in the local nevvspaper, asking for work which was for a housewife She did this, and a few days, she was offered an insurance for her area The job of the insurance would be to visit people, or telephone them, to try to sell them insurance Mrs Williams took the job and enjoyed it She could it as and when she and as part of the job she could also make visit to London, to see the head office She did so well that her name was oftem in the Insurance company's monthly magazine, and in the the end, in could be that she was the most sucessful part - time agent in the country 102 36 A A famous writer who was visiting Japan was invited to give a lecture at a university tb a large group of students As most of them could not understand spoken English, he had to have answer interpreter During his lecture he told an amusing story which vvent on for rather a long ti me At last he stopped to allow the interpreter to translate into Japanese, and was very surprised when the man did this in a few seconds, after which all the students laughed loudly Aíter the lecture, the writer thanked the interpreter for his good work and then said to him: "Now please tell me how you translated that long storv of mine into such a short ơapanese One" "I didn't tell the story at all", the interpreter answered with a smile I just said: "The honourabỉe lecturer has just told a funny story You will all laugh, please" 103 B Một nhà văn tiếng viếng thăm Nhật mời đến giảng trường đại học cho nhóm sinh viên Vì hầu hết sinh viên không nghe tiếng Anh ông phải thuê phiên dịch Trong giảng ông kể câu chuyện vui dài Cuối ông dừng lại để người phiên dịch dịch sang tiếng Nhật Ông ngạc nhiên chàng phiên dịch nói có vài giây sau tất sinh viên cười lên Sau buổi giảng nhà văn cảm ơn anh phiên dịch dịch giỏi Sau ơng hỏi: "Xin anh cho biết làm th ế mà anh dịch câu chuyện dài sang có vài lời tiếng Nhật mà thơi?" Người phiên dịch mỉm cười nói: "Tơi khơng kể lại câu chuyện mà nói vị giáo sư đáng kính vừa kể cáu chuyện cười Đề nghị tất bạn cười to lên" c C H Ú T H ÍC H 1) To thank somebody for something: Cám ơn việc doing something làm hộ việc 2) Thịi present perfect có just diễn đạt hành động vừa xảy ra, kết rõ ràng Our lecturer has ju s t told a funny story 104 D BAI TẠP A W H IC H 0F TH ESE S E N T E N C E S A R E T R U E (T) A N D W H IC H A R E F A L S E (F )? W R IT E T O R F I N T H E BO X ES The famous writer spoke Japanese well He told the students a long íunny story The interpreter took rather a long time to tell the story The interpreter told the students a different funny story The students did not understand the lecturer's funny story at all The students laughed because the interpreter told them to ũ ũ n D D ũ B A N S W E R T H E S E Q U E S T IO N S What invitation did the writer in this story receive? Why did he need an interpreter? What did he during his lecture? Why did he stop after then? Why was he suprised then? What did the students do? What did the writer ask the interpreter after his lecture? And what did the interpreter answer? 105 c W R IT E T H IS STO RY C H O O SE THE MORE S U IT A B L E W O R D S E A C H T IM E young y o u th fu l M y in te r p r e te r w a s n o t b u t th e had a young y o u th fu l over 45) f a c e , a v e r y b la c k , s ilk s ilk y s ilk m o u sta c h e a n d a oran ge (h e w a s a c tu a lly t ie s ilk y c o n íĩđ e n t H e in te r p r e t e d in a lo u d , v o ic e , a lt h o u g h h e c o n fid e n tia l h a d e a r l i e r c o n f e s s e d to m e c o n íid e n tly th a t h e r e a lly c o n íìd e n tia lly fe lt v e r y n ervou s A l t h o u g h h e h a d h a d l i t t l e p r a c t ic e a t in t e r p r e t i n g , h e w a s m ore s k ilíu l s k ille d m ore a t tr a n s la tin g im a g i n a r y l a n g u a g e a n d im a g in a tiv e s e n s i b l e to i t s s o u n d s , t h a n m a n y a f a r m o r e s e n s itiv e s k i f u l i n t e r p r e t e r I p a r t i c u l a r l y ìi k e d h i s t r a n s l a t i o n s k ille d a poem about an imaginary island called Lealoa im aginative 106 53 A Joe and Helen Mills had two small children One of them was six, and the other was four They always resisted going to bed, and Helen was ạhvays complaining to Joe about this, but as he did not come home írom work until after they had gone to bed during the week, he was unable to help except at week-enđs Joe considered him self a good singer, but really his voice was not at all musical However, he decided that if he sang to the children when they went to bed, it would help them to reỉax, and graduaỉỉy they would go to sleep He did this every Saturday and Sunday night until he heard his small son whisper to his younger sister: "If you pretend that vou're asleep, he stops!" 153 B Joe H elen Mills có hai đứa nhỏ Một đứa lên đứa lên Chúng luôn chống lại lệnh bắt ngủ Helen hay phàn nàn với Joe điều Nhưng ngày làm việc tuần không -Joe nhà trưốc chúng ngủ, anh khơng giúp Helen trừ vào ngày cuối tuần Joe tự coi ca sĩ giỏi, thực giọng anh chẳng có nhạc điệu chút Tuy nhiên anh định anh hát cho bọn trẻ nghe chúng ngủ giúp chúng thoải mái tinh thần vào giấc ngủ Tối thứ bảy, chủ nhật Joe làm đêm anh nghe thấy cậu trai thầm vỏi em "Nếu em giả vờ ngủ bổ"sẽ ngừng hát đấy!" c C H Ú T H ÍC H Chú ý cách dùng sau đây: 1) to reisit doing something: chơng lại lệnh phải làm điểu ) to consider sơmething Som ething somebody Somebody coi 3) to hear somebody something: nghe thấy làm gìD BÀI TẬP A WHICH OF THESE SENTENCES ARE TRUE (T) AND WHICH ARE FALSE (F)? WRITE T OR F IN THE BOXES Joe and Helen's children liked staying up late 154 u From Monday to Eriday, Joe could not help his wife to put the children to bed Li Joe wa.s generally thougth to be a good singer Joe rightly thought he was a good singer L_ 1_ The children did not like his singing :_J His son pretended he was asleep so that he would not sing any more L B ANSVVER THESE QUESTIONS Were Helen's children young, or old? What did she complain to her husband about? Why couldn't he help for most of the time? When could he help? In what way was Joe mistaken about his own abilities? How did he try to help his wife? When did he stop doing this? What had his small son learned to do? c PUT ONE WORD IN EACH SPACE IN THIS STORY YOƯ WILL FIND ALL THE CORRECT WORDS IN THE STORY Jean loved playing the vioỉin, but she was not very , so the noises that came out did not give the rest of her famiỉy much In fact, they were always secretly about her playing although they had all when she began, to that they liked it however, they because more and more to stand it, and they began to to each other secretly that this terrible noise had now to be in every way possible I that they were right Don't you? 155 54 A Mr Hodges was the owner and editor of a sm all newspaper He always tried to bring his readers the latest news One day, he received an excited telephone call from someone who claimed that he had just come through a big ílood in a village up in the mountains He described the flood in great detail, and Mr Hodges wrote it all down and printed it in his paper that evening He was delighted to see that no other paper had got hold of the story Uníbrtunately, however, angry telephone, calls soon showed that he had been tricked, so in the next đav’s paper he wrote "We were the first and only newspaper to report yesterday that the village of Greenbridge had been destroyed hy a ílood Today, we are proud to say that we are again the íìrst newspaper to b n n g our readers the news that yesterday's story was quite false" B Ong Hodges vừa chủ vừa chủ bút tờ báo nhỏ Ong ln ln tìm cách mang đến cho độc giả tin tức Một hôm ông nhận qua điện thoại chuyện hay người tự kể vừa trải qua trận lụt lốn vùng núi Ong ta miêu tả chi tiết trận lũ Ong Hodges ghi lại đầy đủ cho đăng đêm Ong vui thích khơng có báo biết câu chuyện Tuy nhiên, thật khơng may Ngay sau có nhiều người gọi điện thoại đến nói ơng bị đánh lừa Trong tờ báo ngày hôm sau ông viết: "Chúng tờ báo đùa tin làng Greenbridge bị trận lụt hủy diệt Hôm chúng tơi tự hào nói chúng tơi lại tờ báo mang đến cho độc giả tin mối câu chuyện ngày hôm qua chuyện hoàn toàn giả" c C H Ú T H ÍC H 1) Ghi nhớ cách dùng: to get hold of the story: nắm vừng, biêt câu chuyện 2) Passive voice (thụ động cách) thòi khứ hoàn thành had been tricked khứ phân từ động từ trick 3) Sở hữu cách 's dùng cho thời gian Ví dụ: yesterday's storv last week's visit D BÀI TẬP A WHICH OF THESE SENTENCES ARE TRUE (T) AND WHICH ARE FALSE (F)? WRITE T OR F IN THE BOXES Mr Hodges edited his own newspaper _j Someone telephoned that there had been a big ílood i_^ 157 People who had been in the ílood were angry that Mr Hodges had w ritten about it He printed another report in his paper, repeating that there had been a ílood He wrote in the report that the people who had said that there had been no ílood were liars There had not really been a food at all B ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS _ L Li Lj L W hat work did Mr Hodges do? W hat was his aim in his job? W hat news did someone give him one day? How did the person give him the news? What did Mr Hodges then? What gave him a lot of pleasure? How did he discover that he had been cheated? What correction did he print in his paper the next day? c PUT ONE OF THESE WORDS IN EACH SPACE at by for in of on out of to under with Mr Hodges was his way his office One day the company one of his reporters when someone offered him some iníbrmation exchange some free advertising in his paper reply the man's offer, Mr Hodges suggested that he should come and discuss things at his home, as he was touch the business the man was talking about, so he could not really understand what was being offered the time this offer, Mr Hodges had already been informed secretly means a telegram, about this matter, but the sake not giving away the secret, he did not say anything to the man who was trying to sell him iníbrmation regard the same subject The man came to see Mr Hodges that night cover ’ darkness 158 55 A While Mr Green was waiting for a bus One morning, a car passed him, going very rapidly Mr Green just had time to think: "That fellow's certain to have an accident before that was exactlly what happened: the car hit the side of a bus violently as it was passing and there was a terrible noise and quite a lot of damage Mr Green hurried to see whether anyone had been hurt, but everyone was all right However, the bus driver asked him to be a withness at the trial, and Mr Green agreed At the trial, the judge asked Mr Green: "How far were you from the place where the accident took place?" "Eleven metres and forty - eight centimetres", Mr Green ansvvered The judge was astonished and said: "How you know the distance exactly?" "Because I was expecting some fool to ask me", Mr Green answered 159 B Một buổi sáng ông Green chò xe buýt, ô tô chạy qua nhanh Ong Green kịp nghĩ: "Tên chắn bị tai nạn " việc xảv ra: tơ quệt mạnh vào thành xe buýt lúc vượt tạo tiếng động khủng khiếp gây hư hỏng nặng Ơng Green chạy vội đến xem có bị khơng, người đểu an tồn Tuy nhiên, người lái xe bt mời ơng tịa làm nhân chứng ông Green đồng ý phiên tịa thẩm phán hỏi ơng Green: "Khi tai nạn xảy ơng cách bao xa?" Ơng Green trả lời: "11 m ét 48 centi mét" Viên thẩm phán ngạc nhiên hỏi lại: "Làm ông lại biết khoảng cách xác đến vậv?" Ỏng Green trả lời: "Vì tơi đề phịng có tên ngớ ngẩn hỏi tơi" c CHÚ THÍCH Những thịi sau khơng dùng thụ động cách: present past continuous tense íuture D BÀI TẬP A WHICH OF THESE SENTENCES ARE TRUE (T) AND WH1CH ARE FALSE (F)? WRITE T OR F IN THE BOXES Mr Green thought that the car that passed him was gomg too slovvly A bus ran into the car 16 !_J Mr Green went and helped the people who had been hurt He agreed to appear at the trial The judge was surprised that Mr Green had been so close to the accident Mr Green's answer to the judge's question suggsted that he thought the ịudge was a íool _ L_: _ _ _ B ANSWER THESE QƯESTIONS What did Mr Green think when he saw the car pass him? What happened then? What did the bus driver say to Mr Green? And what did Mr Green answer? õ What did the judge ask at the trial? What did Mr Green answer? What did the judge ask then? And what was Mr Green's ansvver? c OPPOSITES: FIND WORDS IN THE STORY WHỈCH MEAN ABOUT THE OPPOSITE OF gently more or less not sure not surprised at all refured slovvly wise person wonderfui 161 56 A Mr Jones had to drive up from London to Edinburgh in Scotland "I'm going to drive at night", he said to his wife "The roads w ill be quieter And if I get hungry, ril stop at one of the sm all restaurants at the side of the road and have som ething to eat" "The food's terrible in those places, I believe", his wife said "Oh, well, I don't suppose it will kill me", Mr Jones said, laughing, he left at o'clock in the evening, and at about midnight he felt hungry, so he stopped at a sm all restaurant which was open all night and sat down at a table A waiter came to him, and Mr Jones asked for ham and eggs "And", he said to the waiter, "I like my eggs alm ost raw, and my ham quite cold" The w aiter laughed and said: "You m ust have eaten here before!" 162 B Ổng Jones từ London lên Edinburgh Scotland tơ Ong nói với VỢ: "Tơi lái đêm Lúc đường vắng Nếu tơi đói dừng lại quán ăn nhỏ dọc đường ăn chút đó" Bà vợ nói: "Oi, tơi thức ăn chỗ đáng sỢ ông ạ" "Dẫu nghĩ chẳng làm chết đâu" Ơng Jones cười to Ong vào lúc 9h tối Khoảng nửa đêm, ơng thấy đói nên dừng lại ỏ cửa hàng nhỏ cửa hàng mở cửa đêm Ong ngồi xuống bàn Anh bồi bàn tiến lại ông Jones gọi giăm bơng trứng Ong nói với anh bồi bàn: "Tơi thích trứng làm sơng cịn dăm bơng phải thật nguội" Anh bồi bàn cười nói: "Dạ, trước ông ăn hàng phải khơng ạ!" c C H Ú T H ÍC H 1) Động từ feel với tính từ sau Ví dụ: feel tired/feel hungry 2) Períect infinitive: must have done something: phải làm điều D BÀI TẬP A WHICH OF THESE SENTENCES ARE TRUE (T) AND WHICH ARE FALSE (Ẹ)? WRITE T OR F IN THE BOXES The roads between London and Edinburgh were busiest at night LJ 163 The restaurants at the side of the road were _ not open at night — Mr Jones did not think the food in them was _ good but Mrs Jones did _J Mr Jones felt hungry about three hours after he set off -2 Mr Jones asked for eggs and ham The waiter thought that Mr Jones had eaten _ there beíore _ B ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS Why did Mr Jones prefer to make his journev at night? Where was he going to eat, if Necessarv? What did his wife say about that? What did he answer? What happened at about midnight? What did Mr Jones ask for? What did he add after that? What did the waiter and say when ho heard this? 164 57 A Mr Robinson won a lot of money on the íootball pools, but he did not know what the best thing to with it would be, so he went to a ừiend who know a lot about money matters This íriend said to him: "Go and buy some modern paintings Their value goes up every year" Mr Robinson went to a good art shop and looked at some modern paintings He did not ụnderstand them at all, and thoưght that they were terrible - and also very expensive At last he saw a small picture which did not have a price on it It was square and white, and hađ a black spot in the middle, and a narrow brass frame Mr Robinson liked it better than any of the others in the shop "How much is this one?", he said to the shopkeeper ' "That, sir", answered the shopkeeper, "Is the electric light switch" 165 B Ồng Robinson thắng nhiều tiền cá bóng đá, ơng khơng biết nên làm với số" tiền cho tốt Ơng đến hỏi ơng bạn thạo chuyện tiền nong Ơng bạn nói với ơng: "Hãy mua tranh đại, giá trị chúng tăng lên hàng năm" Ông Robinson đến cửa hàng mỹ thuật xem tranh đại ô n g chẳng hiểu nên cho loại tranh thật khủng khiếp - mà lại đắt tiền Cuối ông trông thấy tranh nhỏ không đề giá Bức tranh hình vng, màu trắng có chấm đen khung kẹp đồng Ơng Robinson thích tranh nhât sơ" tranh cửa hàng "Bức tiền?" Ông hỏi Người bán hàng trả lịi: "Thưa ơng cơng tắc điện ạ" c C H Ú T H ÍC H at all với động từ thể phủ định dùng để nhân mạnh: không chút D BÀI TẬP A WHICH OF THESE SENTENCES ARE TRUE (T) AND WHICH ARE FALSE (F)? WRITE T OR F IN THE BOXES Mr Robinson knew at lot about money matters His íriend advised him to buy modern pictures ^ because they increased in value every year [_i 16 Mr Robinson did not like the modern paintmg ri he saw u he found them very expensive ũ He saw a small picture which was very-chtcp U The shopkeeper said it was a raodern paintmg _ of answer electric light switch ' ‘1! i_ B ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS How did Mr Robinson become rích? What advice did he want from his ửiend? What was his friend's advice? What did Mr Robinson think about the painting in the shop? What was the picture that he finally choose like? What did Mr Robinson think of it? What did he ask the shopkeeper? And what did the shopkeeper answer? 167 ... 127 B Khi Andrews tốt nghiệp đại học, anh tìm việc làm tốt công ty xăng dầu, sau vài năm làm việc anh định phải đổi nghề Anh mn có địa vị quan trọng đê kiếm nhiều tiền làm công việc thú vị Anh. .. in cabbages, Miss" 124 B Cô Jones dạy tốn học ỏ trường phổ thơng Trong lớp bọn học trò trai gái khoảng tuổi Chúng học số học không tốt Cô giáo Jones ln ln tìm cách làm cho học trở nên thú vị,... mặc rách rưới trả lòi c C H Ú T H ÍC H Cách cấu tạo định ngữ phức tạp (1) poorlv (2) dressed (3) man (1) trạng ngữ bổ ngữ cho (2) Cả (1) (2) kết hợp bổ nghĩa cho (3) Ví dụ: higly cultured ưoman