... family to get a college degree, another factor he believed made him special Alan's father, an abusive alcoholic, abandoned the family when Alan was seven At an early age, Alan made a decision to ... three stages: Abandonment, internalization of toxic shame, and the creation of survival mechanisms Abandonment Like all Nice Guys, Alan, Jason, and Jose were abandoned in various ways: Alan and Jose ... church and never drank alcohol or did drugs as a teenager Alan's mother, a fundamentalist Christian, raised Alan in a sect that preached hell-fire and brimstone He came to believe that he was a "sinner"...