LO 3-8 Explain the risk factor of disclosure. The final barrier in your path is fear. You can feel the fear but should go ahead anyway. Dale Carn- egie offers three suggestions for pressing forward even when the fear is present: start with the worst possible scenario, prepare your- self to accept this worst possible outcome, and proceed with a plan.
1. What does the term “self-awareness” mean to you after reading this chapter? Use an illustration from your own experience to clarify your definition.
2. Why do people often withhold from others their true selves—or parts of who they really are?
3. How can a lack of appropriate self-disclosure be a barrier to effective relations with others? Specifically, how can a failure to disclose affect your position in the workplace?
4. Briefly explain each of the four panes of the Johari Window. How can this model help you understand yourself better by understanding your relationships with others?
review questions
blind pane 53
cliché conversation 57 gut-level
communication 59 hidden pane 52
ideas and judgments 58
key terms
Johari Window 51 nonconversation 58 open pane 51
peak communication 59 repress 53
self-awareness 50
self-disclosure 50 unknown pane 53
5. Think of an incident in your life when someone overdisclosed to you or someone else. How did the incident affect the relationship? What steps can you take to avoid overdisclosing?
6. How might self-disclosure help you in your relationship with your man- ager? with co-workers? Can you think of examples that illustrate either negative or positive effects of self-disclosure in the workplace?
7. Of John Powell’s five levels of communication, what is the best one for everyday use? Explain why.
8. Discuss Dale Carnegie’s three rules for reducing fear. Would any of them work for you when self-disclosure is the issue? Why or why not?
THE “OPENER SCALE” QUESTIONNAIRE
School-to-Work Connection: Personal Qualities Skills
Instructions: For each statement below, indicate your level of agreement or disagreement, using the following scale. Record your responses in the spaces on the left.
4 5 I strongly agree 3 5 I slightly agree 2 5 I am uncertain 1 5 I slightly disagree 0 5 I strongly disagree
working it out 3.1
9. Have you ever experienced differences in people’s level of self disclo- sure based on where they live (in another country or a region of your country, for example)? What did you observe, if anything?
10. Anything you post on the Internet exists forever, even after you delete it. What kinds of information have you disclosed about yourself online?
Are there items that you regret posting, or information you regret revealing? If a local newspaper wrote a headline about you based on your Internet postings, especially those to social networking sites, what would the headline say? How would this differ from what you would want it to say? What levels of communication in self-disclosure do you typically find online?
11. Are you as self-aware as you would like to be? If not, what steps can you take to allow yourself to reach a higher level of self-awareness?
critical thinking questions
1. People frequently tell me about themselves.
2. I’ve been told that I’m a good listener.
3. I’m very accepting of others.
4. People trust me with their secrets.
5. I can easily get people to “open up.”
6. People feel relaxed around me.
7. I enjoy listening to people.
8. I’m sympathetic to people’s problems.
9. I encourage people to tell me how they’re feeling.
10. I can keep people from talking about themselves.
This test measures your perception of your ability to get others to “open up”
to you, their reactions to you, your desire to listen, and some of your other interpersonal skills.
To score, add up the numbers that you have recorded in the spaces on the left. The total is your score. In studies with this test, women tend to score a little higher because of society’s higher tolerance of emotional expression in women. Here are average scores for others who have taken this test: High
“opener” ability is 35–40 for women, 33–40 for men; this can indicate a higher level of honesty in communication, but it can also indicate a tendency to overdisclose. An intermediate score is 26–34 for women, 23–32 for men;
this likely indicates people who do not jump into conversations feet first, but are comfortable with self-disclosure. A low score is 0–25 for women, 0–22 for men; this can indicate either a desire to self-disclose more selectively or an inability to do so. 22
YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT SELF-DISCLOSURE
School-to-Work Connection: Personal Qualities Skills
Instructions: This exercise is designed to make you think about your self- disclosing behavior. Begin by finishing the following incomplete sentences.
Go through the sentences fairly quickly; don’t think about your responses too long. There are no right or wrong answers.
1. I dislike people who
2. Those who really know me
3. When I let someone know something I don’t like about myself
working it out 3.2
4. When I’m in a group of strangers
5. I envy
6. I get hurt when
7. I daydream about
8. Few people know that I
9. One thing I really dislike about myself is
10. When I share my values with someone
Based on your responses to these incomplete sentences, do you feel that you engage in the right amount of self-disclosure? Too little? Too much?
In general, what prevents you from engaging in self-disclosure? Are there particular topics on which you find it difficult to be self disclosing? Do you receive much self-disclosure from others, or do people have difficulty opening up to you? 23
case study 3.1
Silent Sydney
S ydney Schoenberg had always been shy, and had never felt comfortable “spilling her guts”
to others—that is, confiding her inner thoughts to other people. She didn’t see this as a problem, and in fact when she was younger, family members and teachers had complimented her for being mature and free of “unnecessary drama,” as her aunt described it.
In her hiring interview for her current job as a scheduling supervisor at PlayOutside! Adventures, a travel company for outdoor recreation vacations, the company CEO had said she appreciated Syd- ney’s professionalism as shown in her quiet and calm attitude. The company CEO praised Syd- ney for not wasting time socializing, gossiping, or going into detail about her personal life with co-workers.
Sydney’s co-workers, on the other hand, were not praising her. Behind her back they referred to her as “Silent Sydney” and described her as stuck- up, and thinking she was better than they were.
It must be because she was a scheduling supervi- sor while they were reservation setters and tour guides, they decided.
On a particular day when Sydney was espe- cially busy, two co-workers approached her. In their view, she was not busy, she was just avoiding them.
“What’s the matter with you, anyway, Sydney?
Why are you always avoiding us? Is there some- thing wrong with us?” asked Trevor.
Sydney was surprised, and stammered that she was not trying to avoid them.
“Then why won’t you talk to us? We don’t even know where you’re from, what you like to do, if you have pets, or anything else about your personal life,” stated Julie.
In a confused voice, Sydney responded, “But those things don’t have anything to do with work.
Why would I want to talk to you about that kind of thing?”
In exasperation, Trevor and Julie walked away, with Julie saying over her shoulder to Sydney,
“Fine, have it your own way.”
Sydney sat with her thoughts and wondered if she should share more with her colleagues at work, or continue to keep to herself as she had always been more comfortable doing. She asked herself, “would sharing more about my personal life make me more successful at work, or would it be better to keep my focus strictly on the job at hand?”
Case Study Questions
1. How did self-disclosure affect the situation that Sydney and her co-workers experienced?
2. Were Sydney or her co-workers doing anything wrong in the situation described? Explain.
3. How could the discomfort in this situation between Sydney and others at her company have been avoided?
case study 3.2
Fred Lincoln
F red Lincoln, a popular administrator at a local college, was well-liked and well-known around campus for two things: First, he was an avid tech- nology buff who stayed current on all the latest gadgets, from the newest phones and wireless technologies to his desktop 3D printer. Fred was also known for the amusing fact that he was always on his cellphone. There was no doubt that he was talking business, but the fact that he would talk loudly in public places, talk while ordering food, talk while with friends in social situations . . . was problematic.
People liked Fred, and they would forgive him when he would famously hold up his “I’m on the phone” finger, but they found it tricky to commu- nicate fully with Fred when they had questions or
needed help with something. Because Fred was so nice and otherwise caring about his colleagues and students, no one felt particularly compelled to confront Fred about the fact that his inces- sant phone chatter made him a little difficult to approach.
Case Study Questions
1. How self-aware is Fred? On what do you base your assessment?
2. How might Fred’s cellphone habit affect his work at the college?
3. How would you approach Fred about his prob- lematic cellphone usage?
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4
L E A R N I N G O B J E C T I V E S
After studying this chapter, you will be able to:
LO 4-1 Define an attitude.
LO 4-2 Examine what makes a good attitude.
LO 4-3 Discuss what goes into changing an existing attitude.
LO 4-4 Find details regarding the link between positive attitudes and job satisfaction.
LO 4-5 Define values, and show how they differ from attitudes.
LO 4-6 Explain the origin of your values.
LO 4-7 Identify strategies for coping with values conflict.
LO 4-8 Apply values in a global context.
S T R A T E G I E S F O R S U C C E S S
Strategy 4.1 Changing Pessimism to Optimism Strategy 4.2 Building Positive Attitudes
Strategy 4.3 Redefining Your Personal Values: The Rath Test