Independent Essay - 79 A second way to write a predictor thesis is to work backwards. Do so by first mapping out, then writing, a basic independent essay up to Step #5. Step #1 Read the prompt; formulate an opinion. Step #2 Make a note map; state your opinion (G); restate it in your conclusion (C); develop examples (3TiC). Step #3 Type a first draft. Step #4 Check your first draft for Coherence using OPDUL=C. Step #5 Revise your first draft using your revision checklist. When you finish Step #5, you can: a) submit your essay if you have run out of time, or; b) if you have time, add a predictor thesis. Personally, I agree. I think that we need zoos. For example, when I was 12, my teacher took us to the zoo in Berlin. I had never seen wild animals before. I had just read about them in books and seen them on the TV. But seeing them in real life was amazing, especially the lions. On TV, they looked so small, but seeing them alive they were really big. By going to the zoo, I definitely saw things in a whole new light. Now I have a family and we always go to the zoo every summer. My wife makes a picnic and we spend all day there. My kids love taking pictures and learning all about the animals, especially the gorillas. Being outside is good for my children. Best of all, they can leave the internet andthe TV at home. Also, zoos look after endangered animals like pandas. I saw two in the Washington DC zoo last year and they had a baby. If there were no zoos, the pandas would disappear because we are taking their land away. However, in a zoo the pandas are safe. It is not perfect, but without zoos there might not be any pandas left. For those reasons, I think that we need zoos. Predictor Thesis: When to Write 2. 80 - Independent Essay If you have time—and you want to add a predictor thesis—first identify the main topic in each body paragraph. In this essay, the main topic in body paragraph one is education ; the main topic in body paragraph two is families; the main topic in body paragraph three paragraph is endangered animals . Next, combine the main topics and make a predictor thesis. body paragraph topics education families endangered animals make a predictor thesis Personally, I agree. I think that we need zoos because they are educational, they are fun for families and they protect endangered animals. Personally, I agree. I think that we need zoos. For example, when I was 12, my teacher took us to the zoo in Berlin. I had never seen wild animals before. I had just read about them in books and seen them on the TV. But seeing them in real life was amazing, especially the lions. On TV, they looked so small, but seeing them alive they were really big. By going to the zoo, I definitely saw things in a whole new light. Now I have a family and we always go to the zoo every summer. My wife makes a picnic and we spend all day there. My kids love taking pictures and learning all about the animals, especially the gorillas. Being outside is good for my children. Best of all, they can leave the internet andthe TV at home. Also, zoos look after endangered animals like pandas. I saw two in the Washington DC zoo last year and they had a baby. If there were no zoos, the pandas would disappear because we are taking their land away. However, in a zoo the pandas are safe. It is not perfect, but without zoos there might not be any pandas left. For those reasons, I think that we need zoos. Independent Essay - 81 Next: 1) add your predictor thesis to your introduction; 2) write a topic sentence for each body paragraph; 3) restate your predictor thesis in your conclusion. 1) Personally, I agree. I think that we need zoos because they are educational, they are fun for families and they protect endangered animals. 2) Zoos are educational. For example, when I was 12, my teacher took us to the zoo in Berlin. I had never seen wild animals before. I had just read about them in books and seen them on the TV. But seeing them in real life was amazing, especially the lions. On TV, they looked so small, but seeing them alive they were really big. By going to the zoo, I definitely saw things in a whole new light. 3) Zoos are also fun for families. For example, I have a family and we always go to the zoo every summer. My wife makes a picnic and we spend all day there. My kids love taking pictures and learning all about the animals, especially the gorillas. Being outside is good for my children. Best of all, they can leave the internet andthe TV at home. 4) Finally, zoos protect endangered animals. For example, I saw two pandas in the Washington DC zoo last year and they had a baby. If there were no zoos, the pandas would disappear because we are taking their land away. However, in a zoo the pandas are safe. It is not perfect, but without zoos there might not be any pandas left. 5) For those reasons, I believe that we need zoos because they are educational, they are fun for families and they protect endangered animals. Words: 251 Submit your essay. Step #6 82 - Independent Essay To maximize scoring, apply the following advanced conclusion strategies to develop a basic independent essay into an advanced independent essay. a. Suggestion For this strategy, start with a transition, restate your opinion, then end with a suggestion. C In sum, I assert that television is a bad influence on our children. Instead of watching so much television, parents should make their kids read a book, or make them go outside and play. C As I have illustrated, I believe that we need zoos. If you want to have fun and learn something new, you should go to a zoo. b. Suggestion + Prediction For this strategy, start with a transition, restate your opinion, then end with a suggestion and a prediction. Notice how the prediction contains the auxiliary verb “will” to describe a future action. C In the final analysis, I contend that television is bad influence on our children . They should spend at least one hour a day playing outside. It will make them happier and healthier C In the end, I posit that it is better to save the money that you make. The best thing you can do is put your money in the bank. In a few years, that money will help you buy a new car or help you go to university. c. Warning + Prediction For this strategy, start with a transition, restate your opinion, then end with a warning that contains a prediction of future of events. C It goes without saying that television is a bad influence on our children. It is creating a lot of fat and lazy kids who will develop serious health problems when they are adults. C As far as I’m concerned, I believe that a new factory in my home town is not a good idea. It will create a lot of pollution and destroy our beautiful neighborhoods with more traffic. Advanced Conclusion Strategies Independent Essay - 83 d. Rhetorical Question For this strategy, start with a transition, restate your opinion, then end with a rhetorical question. A rhetorical question will make your reader think about your argument after your essay has ended. C Suffice it to say, I think that a new factory in my home town is not a good idea. How would you like a big smelly factory in your backyard? C In my estimation, I believe that telecommuting has many advantages. Don’t you wish you could just fall out of bed and go to work in your pajamas? e. Call-To-Action For this strategy, start with a transition, restate your opinion, then end with a call-to-action. Call-to-action means to tell people to do something (take action) with an emphatic (strong) voice. C In sum, I conclude that television is a bad influence on our children. Parents, turn off the TV now! C Finally, I assert that a new airport will be good for our town. Support the new airport! Invest in our future! f. Call-To-Action + Rhetorical Question For this strategy, start with a transition, restate your opinion, give a call-to-action, then end with a rhetorical question. C In closing, I believe that television is a bad influence on our children. Parents, turn off the TV now! Do you really want unhealthy kids who are violent too? C When all is said and done, I contend that a new airport will be good for our town. Support the new airport! Don’t you want to create jobs? You can also state the rhetorical question first, then end with a call-to-action. C In closing, I conclude that television is a bad influence on our children. Do you really want unhealthy kids who are violent too? Parents, turn off the TV now! C When all is said and done, I contend that a new airport will be good for our town. Don’t you want to create jobs? Support the new airport! 84 - Independent Essay g. Suggestion + Prediction + Rhetorical Question For this strategy, start with a transition, restate your opinion, make a suggestion and a prediction, then end with a rhetorical question . C In the final analysis, I conclude that television is a bad influence on our children . If you are a parent, tell your kids to turn the TV off and read or go outside and play. Doing so will definitely make your kids happier and healthier. Isn’t that how you want your kids to grow up? C All in all, I contend that the internet is a dangerous place. If you do not want to lose your money and your personal identification, you should always use spyware software when you surf the internet. Spyware software will protect you from internet criminals. Better safe than sorry, right? h. Predictor Thesis Restated in Your Conclusion To develop your conclusion, restate your predictor thesis in your conclusion. After you restate your predictor thesis, add a conclusion strategy . C In sum, I assert that we need zoos because they are educational, fun for families and protect endangered animals. Visit a zoo. You will definitely have a good time and learn something new. C For those reasons, I posit that exercising reduces stress, makes me healthier and helps me sleep better. If you want a happier and healthier life, you too should exercise every day. i. Predictor Conclusion + Synonyms Look the following predictor thesis restated in the conclusion. C In conclusion, I believe that there are many advantages to working from home, such as privacy, cost and seeing my children more. To demonstrate language use, replace the transition “In conclusion” with a synonymous phrase, for example: In the end, As I have illustrated, As the aforementioned examples show, I believe that there are many To sum up, advantages to working from home, Indeed, such as privacy, convenience and When all is said and done, freedom. All things considered, Independent Essay - 85 Why is an advanced conclusion an effective strategy? Because your conclusion will look like a pyramid in which the ideas progress from specific to general. specific In the final analysis, I conclude that television is a bad influence on our children. If you are a parent, tell your kids to turn the TV off and read or go outside and play. Doing so will definitely make your kids happier and healthier. Isn’t that how you want your kids to general grow up? Thewriting raters will look for a pyramid conclusion. A pyramid conclusion demonstrates OPDUL=C . Does this conclusion demonstrate organization? The test-taker is using a pyramid structure starting with the restated opinion (specific) followed by a suggestion, a prediction and a rhetorical question (general). This demonstrates organization. Yes √ No _ Does this conclusion demonstrate progression? The ideas move from the specific restating of the test-taker’s opinion to the stating of a general suggestion, prediction and rhetorical question. This demonstrates progression. Yes √ No _ Does this conclusion demonstrate development? The conclusion restates the test-taker’s opinion while the suggestion, prediction and question offer general solutions to the problem of television being a bad influence. This demonstrates development. Yes √ No a. Does this conclusion demonstrate topical unity? The topic of television in the restated opinion andthe topic in the suggestion, prediction and question are the same. This demonstrates topical unity. Yes √ No _ b. Does this conclusion demonstrate grammatical unity? There are no errors in grammar. The demonstrates grammatical unity. Yes √ No _ Pyramid Conclusion O P D U 86 - Independent Essay Does this conclusion demonstrate proficient language use? This conclusion uses a variety of sentence types including a conditional (If you are a parent, you should tell your kids to turn the TV off and do something else, like read or go out and play and meet new friends), the future tense (Doing so will definitely make your kids happier and healthier) and a rhetorical question (Isn’t that how you want your kids to grow up?) Combined, these sentences demonstrates proficient language use, specifically word choice and sentence variety. Yes √ No _ Does this conclusion demonstrate coherence? Because of proficient Organization, Progression, Development, Unity and L anguage Use, this conclusion demonstrates coherence (OPDUL=C). Yes √ No _ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________ L C Notes Independent Essay - 87 The following essays demonstrate how advanced strategies can turn a basic independent essay into an advanced independent essay. Check the rating for each essay on page 338. ETS says: “[A]n effective [independent] essay will usually contain a minimum of three hundred words.” Demonstrate OPDUL=C first, then count words. Do we or don’t we need zoos? Personally, I agree with the statement. I think that we need zoos. We need zoos because they are educational, they are fun for families and they protect endangered animals. Zoos are educational. For example, when I was 12, my teacher took us to the zoo in Berlin. I had never seen wild animals before. I had just read about them in books and seen them on the TV. But seeing them in real life was amazing, especially the lions. On TV, they looked so small, but seeing them alive they were really big. By going to the zoo, I definitely saw things in a whole new light. Zoos are also fun for families. For example, I have a family and we always go to the zoo every summer. My wife makes a picnic and we spend all day there. My kids love taking pictures and learning all about the animals, especially the gorillas. Being outside is good for my children. Best of all, they can leave the internet andthe TV at home. Finally, zoos protect endangered animals. For example, I saw two pandas in the Washington DC zoo last year and they had a baby. If there were no zoos, the pandas would disappear because we are taking their land away. However, in a zoo the pandas are safe. It is not perfect, but without zoos there might not be any pandas left. For those reasons, I believe that we need zoos because they are educational, they are fun for families and they protect endangered animals. If you want to have fun and learn something new, you should go to a zoo. Words: 280 Advanced Independent Essays Remember! Remember! Agree-Disagree Prompt 88 - Independent Essay Today, people have a big choice between laptop computers and desktop computers. So which do I prefer? Personally, I prefer a laptop because a laptop is great for taking notes in class, portable and affordable. A laptop is great for taking notes in class. For example, I’m a university student and I need a laptop for my classes. If I didn’t have a laptop, I’d have to take notes by hand, and that would be really slow. Also, my handwriting is really bad, but with my laptop I can quickly take notes. This saves me a lot of time. I couldn’t take notes with a desktop. It is too big and not made for carrying. As you can see, a laptop is definitely best for taking notes in class. Also, a laptop is portable. For example, I can take my laptop anywhere to study. This is good because sometimes my roommate plays really loud music. This drives me nuts. When he plays his music, I can’t do any homework, so I go the library or Starbucks. There I can do my homework and connect to the internet with Wi-Fi. Because my laptop is portable, I can do these things. Best of all, I don’t have to listen to my roommate’s music. In addition, a laptop is affordable. For example, a few years ago laptops, like my Sony Vaio, were very expensive but now you can get a really fast laptop with lots of memory for cheaper than a desktop. This is good because I can save money. With this money, I can buy other school things like books. In the final analysis, I definitely prefer a laptop because it is great for taking notes in class, portable and affordable. What more do I need? Words: 294 Preference Prompt . animals before. I had just read about them in books and seen them on the TV. But seeing them in real life was amazing, especially the lions. On TV, they looked. last year and they had a baby. If there were no zoos, the pandas would disappear because we are taking their land away. However, in a zoo the pandas are safe.