88 Beginning Writing 1 • Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: S ENTENCE V ARIETY II: Combining Sentences Provide variety in your paragraphs by writing sentences of different lengths. In this exercise, you’ll practice combining sentences in two different ways. •You can use a conjunction to combine two short sentences into one compound sentence. EXAMPLE: SHORT SENTENCES : Blast-off time arrived. The rocket engines did not fire. COMBINED SENTENCE : Blast-off time arrived, but the rocket engines did not fire. A. Combine each pair of sentences below into one sentence. Use the conjunction shown in parentheses to join the sentences. Write the new sentence on the line. (Be sure to add a comma before the conjunction when you write a compound sentence.) The first one has been done for you. 1. Elaine and Paul Lavine have a huge house. They only have one child. (but) ________________________________________________________________ 2. Seven Great Danes live in the Lavine house. Two will soon have puppies. (and) ________________________________________________________________ 3. The family may keep all the puppies. Neighbors may buy some. (or) _________________________________________________________________ •You can also combine sentences by writing a descriptive phrase . In the following example, the descriptive phrase is shown in italics. EXAMPLE: SHORT SENTENCES : We visited Thrill World. It is the most exciting amusement park in the state. COMBINED SENTENCE : We visited Thrill World, the most exciting amusement park in the state. B. Combine each pair of sentences into one sentence. Turn one of the sentences into a descriptive phrase. The first one has been done for you. 1. Yoki will star in the class play. She is an excellent actress. ____________________________________________________________________ 2. A stage crew is designing sets. Crew members are talented artists. ____________________________________________________________________ 3. Tickets for the play are going fast. The play opens March 5. ____________________________________________________________________ Elaine and Paul Lavine have a huge house , but they only have one child. Yoki , an excellent actress , will star in the class play. Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com • Beginning Writing 1 89 NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: S ENTENCE V ARIETY III: Avoiding “And” Sentences Sometimes student writers overuse the conjunction and. This makes paragraphs sound repetitious. Just a slight change in sentence pattern can add variety. EXAMPLES: Five minutes before game time the center arrived, and he was still wearing his street clothes. Five minutes before game time the center, still wearing his street clothes, arrived. A. One sentence in each pair has been improved by eliminating the word and. Read both sentences. Then circle the letter of the improved sentence. 1. a. Abraham Lincoln was a man of dignity and honesty, and he is remembered as a great president. b. Because Abraham Lincoln was a man of dignity and honesty, he is remembered as a great president. 2. a. Although the sign said, “No food allowed,” Bobby entered the library with an ice cream cone. b. The sign said, “No food allowed,” and Bobby entered the library with an ice cream cone. B. Rewrite the paragraph so that it uses the word and to connect sentences no more than twice. Hint: Separate some sentences and avoid writing too many long ones! The bald eagle is a symbol of the United States, and it is also an endangered animal. Hunters and ranchers have killed many eagles, and chemicals and pesticides are polluting the birds’ environment. The bald eagle is a proud and noble bird, and its picture is on the Great Seal of the United States and the President’s flag and some coins, and it is important that Americans protect the species. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 90 Beginning Writing 1 • Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: C ONCISE W RITING We say that writing is concise when it does not waste words. Every word in a concise sentence has a purpose. Every sentence in a paragraph presents a new idea to support the main point. A. The sentences in the first column have words and phrases that add no new meaning. Draw lines to match a wordy sentence in the first column with a more concise version in the second column. 1. The faulty vehicle of which I am the driver seems to present me with the challenging problem of veering to the left side of the road on which I’m driving. 2. As the vehicle’s operator, I feel a certain sense of responsibility to myself and my riders to drive the vehicle to a mechanic’s garage and have problems diagnosed and repaired. 3. Unfortunately, my bank account is extremely low, and I lack the needed funds to properly attend to my vehicle’s need for prompt service. 4. Perhaps I will appeal to the good nature of my father to advance me a sum of money with which to make the repairs and satisfy my debts. a. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough money to pay for the repairs. b. My car veers to the left. c. Maybe I’ll ask Dad for a loan to cover the car repairs. d. I need to take my car to a garage and get it fixed. B. Read the paragraph below. Draw a line through the four unnecessary sentences that repeat ideas. Walt Disney has been called the Master of Make-Believe. He began his career by bringing drawings to life in short cartoons called Laugh-O-Grams. This launched his career. Before long, he was off to Hollywood. There he found success with a seven-minute cartoon of Alice in Wonderland . The cartoon did well. It was not long before Walt created a funny little mouse he called Mortimer. The rodent was very humorous. Walt’s wife Lillian didn’t like the mouse’s name. She thought it was not the right choice. She renamed the mouse Mickey. Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com • Beginning Writing 1 91 NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: A VOIDING M IXED C OMPARISONS Writers often make comparisons to help their readers picture an idea. EXAMPLE: At the sight of her old boyfriend, her heart pounded like a jackhammer. Good writers are careful to avoid mixed comparisons. EXAMPLE: Working like beavers, the students were night-owls who studied until dawn. A. Decide whether each sentence below is a good comparison or a mixed comparison. Put a checkmark (✓) by the three mixed comparisons. 1. _____ Perspiration cascaded down his face like little waterfalls. 2. _____ The chicken-hearted villain was as timid as a kitten. 3. _____ When Leroy laughed, his Adam’s apple bobbed like a rowboat on a lake. 4. _____ As David climbed the ladder of success, he sailed through rough seas. B. The sentences below contain mixed comparisons. Rewrite each sentence so that it does not shift from one comparison to another. The first one has been done for you. 1. Mario was a tower of strength and would not melt away in the face of danger. ____________________________________________________________________ 2. His mind galloped from thought to thought like leaves in the wind. ____________________________________________________________________ 3. The warmth of the sun wrapped itself around our campsite like a blazing fire. ____________________________________________________________________ 4. The teacher growled at the tardy students like a thunderstorm. ____________________________________________________________________ CHALLENGE: Write three descriptive sentences on the back of this sheet. Use a comparison in each sentence—but be sure to avoid mixed comparisons! Here are some topic suggestions: waves crashing on the beach, a graveyard, a cornfield, a crowded concert hall, your school cafeteria, a snake. Mario was a tower of strength who would not crumble in the face of danger. 92 Beginning Writing 1 • Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: R ECOGNIZING F ACTS AND O PINIONS It is important for writers to recognize whether they are presenting a fact or an opinion . Remember that a fact can be checked out and proven right or wrong. An opinion cannot be verified—not every reader would agree that it is right or wrong. EXAMPLES: FACT : The concert began at 7:00 P . M . (Check the clock to prove this true.) OPINION : The band gave a disappointing performance. (Would everyone in the audience agree with this?) A. All the following items except one are accurate or inaccurate statements of fact. Each fact can be evaluated as true or false. Write T for true or F for false by each factual statement. Look for the one statement that is not a fact. Circle the statement and put an O for opinion on the line. 1. _____ The Fourth of July is always celebrated on July 5. 2. _____ A fireworks display is the best way to celebrate. 3. _____ The United States is in the western hemisphere. 4. _____ Rhode Island is the largest state. 5. _____ California has a larger population than Nevada. B. Write F for fact or O for opinion beside each statement below. Remember, not everything you agree with is a fact. (You should find two statements of fact and three statements of opinion.) 1. _____ The most important feature in a car is its fuel efficiency. 2. _____ The most important feature in a car is engine power. 3. _____ A new model, the Zephyr, has an eight-cylinder engine. 4. _____ There are eight new courtroom dramas on television this fall. 5. _____ There are too many shows about lawyers on television. CHALLENGE: Select one of the following topics: a healthy diet; Paris, France; your next-door neighbor; soda pop; leash laws; sales tax; the common cold; modern art; teen curfews. On the back of this sheet, write one statement of fact and one statement of opinion about the topic. Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com • Beginning Writing 1 93 NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: Q UALIFYING O PINIONS Good writers know the difference between a fact and an opinion . To make it clear that they are giving their opinion, writers use qualifying words like “in my opinion” or “I think.” Such words limit a statement and make it less strong. EXAMPLE: DON ’ T WRITE : Golf is a rather dull sport. DO WRITE : In my opinion, golf is a rather dull sport. A. Some of the following statements of opinion are qualified. Others are not. Underline the qualifying words and phrases where you find them. Put a checkmark (✓) beside the unqualified opinions. 1. _____ Brenda is cute. 2. _____ Mike thinks Brenda is cute. 3. _____ Alex wasted his money on a silk shirt that is not washable. 4. _____ In my opinion, cotton is the most practical fabric. 5. _____ I think cotton is comfortable and easy to wash. 6. _____ Cotton is better than wool or rayon. B. Read the statements below. Circle the numbers of the three opinions that need to be qualified. Then rewrite the three statements you selected on the lines. Use qualifying words to make them better sentences. 1. Every student can benefit from a physical education class. 2. Midtown High requires all freshmen and sophomores to take P.E. 3. Mr. and Mrs. Wilson have overly strict rules for their children. 4. No amount of arguing will convince the Wilsons to change their minds! 5. The Wilsons insist that their kids finish their homework before dinner. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ CHALLENGE: On the back of this sheet, write a topic sentence that could begin a persuasive paragraph. Present your opinion in the topic sentence, and be sure to qualify it. Topic suggestions: laws requiring bikers to wear helmets, oil drilling in the Alaska wilderness, school dress codes, the president. 94 Beginning Writing 1 • Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: M AKING AND Q UALIFYING G ENERALIZATIONS Writers often make broad statements that apply to a large number of instances. When writers generalize , they must keep in mind that there may be exceptions. Most general statements need to be qualified . QUALIFYING WORDS some many may apparently almost sometimes several most might probably likely supposedly generally usually it seems seems to often A. Qualify these generalizations by adding words from the chart. 1. ____________________ teens love to shop. 2. ____________________ animals have strong hunting instincts. 3. Rugby is ____________________ the roughest of all sports. 4. People who get up early ____________________ get more done in a day. B. Writers qualify most statements about the future. Rewrite each prediction, using a qualifying word(s) from the chart. The first one has been done for you. 1. Next year, America will ship tons of food to needy countries. ____________________________________________________________________ 2. Annmarie will make a good doctor some day. ____________________________________________________________________ 3. At the tournament, our debate team will be hard to beat! ____________________________________________________________________ 4. Our house will need a new roof in three to five years. ____________________________________________________________________ 5. The growing population will lead to overcrowding. ____________________________________________________________________ CHALLENGE: What general statement could you make about the people in your class? (Think about something most have in common, such as a favorite kind of music, favorite teacher, lunchtime complaint, etc.) On the back of this sheet, write a sentence making the generalization. Be sure to limit your generalization with a qualifying word or words. Next year , America is likely to ship tons of food to needy countries. Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com • Beginning Writing 1 95 NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: W ORD C HOICES When you write, the first word that comes to mind may not be the best choice. Search your mind for colorful and specific word choices. Always aim to create a clear picture for your reader. A. Think about the ideas and feelings that readers associate with certain words. Circle the word that is the best choice for the sentence. 1. The great white stallion ( pranced / shuffled ) around the ring. 2. The angry hound showed his teeth and ( yipped / growled ) at the burglar. 3. “You have a very ( old / mature ) attitude for a teenager,” Haley’s boss complimented her. 4. The advertisement read: Inn by the Sea offers ( moderate / cheap ) rates and ( weird / quaint ) furnishings. 5. “Please, somebody save me!” Heidi ( screamed / said ). B. This activity should stretch your mind and generate word choices. One word heads each section of the chart. Write as many other words as you can think of that mean the same or nearly the same thing as the heading. You are likely to find that the more you stretch your mind, the more specific and interesting the words become. Compare your completed list with a classmate’s. CHALLENGE: When you’ve exhausted your own ideas for each word, check a thesaurus (a special dictionary listing words with similar meanings). Look up each word on the chart. Add a few words you find to your lists. Mark words you found in the thesaurus with a T. walked said ate big child dark 96 Beginning Writing 1 • Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: N EW B EGINNINGS Paragraphs often begin with a topic sentence that expresses the main idea of the paragraph. A good topic sentence gives enough information to catch readers’ interest. Here are some hints about writing strong topic sentences: • Get right to the point and avoid unnecessary words. • Prompt curiosity. Give your readers just enough information to tempt them to stay with you. • Create a vivid picture to interest readers. A. Read each pair of topic sentences. Which one would make you more eager to read the paragraph? Circle the letter of the better sentence. 1. a. In Chicago’s Natural History Museum stands a model of the dodo—perhaps the craziest- looking bird that ever lived. b. In this paragraph I am going to tell you about an extinct bird called the dodo. 2. a. I went to the city pound and adopted a homeless dog named Pogo. b. When Pogo blinked his brown eyes and lifted a skinny paw, I knew the pound puppy had found a home. 3. a. Strange things happened the night the lights went out in Bay City. b. One night a storm knocked out all the power in Bay City. 4. a. There are many reasons we need to solve the problem of homelessness, and I am going to tell you about some of them. b. Imagine icy winds howling as you curl up on a park bench, and you’ll realize we need to solve the problem of homelessness. B. Rewrite each item below. Make sure the topic is directly stated and the sentence serves to interest the reader. 1. I think monkeys are interesting animals. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ 2. I am supposed to write about my favorite relative, so here goes. ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 2001 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4010 • www.sdlback.com • Beginning Writing 1 97 NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: E FFECTIVE E NDINGS The sentence that ends a paragraph is often a summary or conclusion. A conclusion is a judgment based on the evidence presented. A summary is a statement that repeats the main idea. The final sentence usually does not add new information to the paragraph. It lets the reader know that the paragraph is coming to an end. A. Read each paragraph. Then circle the letter of the best ending sentence. 1. I believe my neighbors are in danger each time they leave their homes. They could trip on the cracks in our crumbling sidewalks. Dead tree limbs hanging over walkways seem ready to crash down. Many street lights are burned out. a. Without improvements, life in our neighborhood is an accident waiting to happen! b. Many neighbors leave toys and tools on the sidewalk in front of their houses. c. There are, however, many nice things about our neighborhood. 2. My nine-year-old nephew Nick is trying to make a decision about his future. On Monday he wanted to be a cowboy and ride a galloping stallion. The next day he considered fire fighting and pictured himself on a racing red truck. By Wednesday, Nick was thinking about flying a jet plane. a. I think Nick likes the hats that pilots wear. b. On Thursday Nick announced he wanted to be a weatherman. c. Luckily, Nick has plenty of time to decide what to do with his life. B. Writers sometimes use a transition in a paragraph’s final sentence. These words clue the reader that the sentence is a summary. Circle the three words or phrases that suggest a conclusion. however thus in conclusion in summary first next in comparison in contrast CHALLENGE: Read the following paragraph. Then, on the back of this sheet, add a concluding sentence that restates—or summarizes—the main idea. When Eleanor Roosevelt became first lady, she shocked the country. Presidents’ wives were expected to hostess gatherings in the White House— and little else! Eleanor, however, traveled the country. She talked to people about their problems. She wrote magazine and newspaper articles and gave radio talks. She spoke out for people others had forgotten: old people, poor people, minorities, and women. [...]... _ 10 FREE CLINIC OFFERS POOR MEDICAL CARE _ _ B On the back of this sheet, draw a cartoon showing the foolishness suggested in any one of the headlines above Saddleback Publishing, Inc © 20 01 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92 618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4 010 • www.sdlback.com • Beginning Writing 1 99 NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: REVIEW... began in 19 39 The German leader wanted to rule Europe The leader’s name was Adolph Hitler The Germans took nearly every European country The Soviet Union and Great Britain remained free The United States joined World War II in 19 41 The United States, Great Britain, and the Soviet Union were called the Allies The Allies fought together to defeat Germany The Allies freed Europe 10 0 Beginning Writing 1 • Saddleback... however, would not appear for years The deadly accident at Chernobyl made many people wonder if the price of progress was too high 98 Beginning Writing 1 • Saddleback Publishing, Inc © 20 01 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92 618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4 010 • www.sdlback.com NAME DATE LAUGH OUT LOUD! HEADLINE HORRORS Editors who write newspaper headlines have a hard job! In a very few words,... IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: REVIEW A Underline the words in parentheses that correctly complete each statement 1 Good writers make sure the sentences in a paragraph ( are the same length / vary in length ) 2 For variety, sentences in a paragraph should begin with ( different parts of speech / the same part of speech ) 3 A broad statement that applies to a large sampling is called ( an opinion / a generalization... Soviet Union were called the Allies The Allies fought together to defeat Germany The Allies freed Europe 10 0 Beginning Writing 1 • Saddleback Publishing, Inc © 20 01 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92 618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4 010 • www.sdlback.com ... other parts of Europe Two days after the explosion, scientists in Sweden measured huge levels of radiation in the air Russians nearest the Chernobyl plant suffered the most Many became ill right away Others died in the next few months Some effects of the disaster, however, would not appear for years The deadly accident at Chernobyl made many people wonder if the price of progress was too high 98 Beginning. ..NAME DATE IMPROVING YOUR WRITING: WRITING TITLES The title of a paragraph, article, or story has two purposes It should: •suggest the main idea •catch the reader’s attention Although the title is the first thing your reader sees,... Capitalize the words correctly 1 tales from the titanic _ 2 the lady or the tiger? _ 3 chief joseph: man of honor _ CHALLENGE: Read the following paragraph Make up an interesting title that suggests the topic and write it on the line Be sure to capitalize the title correctly TITLE: _ In 19 86, a nuclear power plant... wordy / gets to the point without wasting words ) B Combine each pair of sentences into one sentence Use a conjunction to join one pair of sentences Write a descriptive phrase to combine the other pair 1 Scientists think humans could live on Mars There is no food or water there 2 Mars is one of our closest neighbors in space Mars has... it may be the last thing you write A The title should suggest the main idea Match each title with the topic you would expect the paragraph, story, or article to be about Write a letter by each number 1 _ The Misadventures of Mortimer McSneed 2 _ Young Riders of the Frontier 3 _ Whispers in the Attic 4 _ Slam Dunk a article about the pony express b basketball story c tales of a character’s humorous . Publishing, Inc. © 20 01 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92 618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4 010 • www.sdlback.com • Beginning Writing 1 91 NAME DATE . MILLION 10 0 Beginning Writing 1 • Saddleback Publishing, Inc. © 20 01 • Three Watson, Irvine, CA 92 618 • Phone: (888) 735-2225 • Fax: (888) 734-4 010 • www.sdlback.com