The construction of professional identity by an EFL teacher in the first year of teaching: A case study. M.A. Thesis Linguistics: 60 14 01 11

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF POST - GRADUATE STUDIES ************************* NGUYỄN THỊ LAN HẠNH THE CONSTRUCTION OF PROFESSIONAL IDENTITY BY AN EFL TEACHER IN THE FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING: A CASE STUDY VIỆC HÌNH THÀNH BẢN NGÃ NGHỀ NGHIỆP CỦA MỘT GIÁO VIÊN TIẾNG ANH TRONG NĂM GIẢNG DẠY ĐẦU TIÊN M.A COMBINED PROGRAMME THESIS Field: English Teaching Methodology Code: 60 14 0111 HA NOI - 2014 VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF POST - GRADUATE STUDIES ************************* NGUYỄN THỊ LAN HẠNH THE CONSTRUCTION OF PROFESSIONAL IDENTITY BY AN EFL TEACHER IN THE FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING: A CASE STUDY VIỆC HÌNH THÀNH BẢN NGÃ NGHỀ NGHIỆP CỦA MỘT GIÁO VIÊN TIẾNG ANH TRONG NĂM GIẢNG DẠY ĐẦU TIÊN M.A COMBINED PROGRAMME THESIS Field: English Teaching Methodology Code: 60 14 0111 Supervisor: Dr LÊ VĂN CANH HA NOI - 2014 CANDIDATE’S STATEMENT I hereby certify that this thesis entitled “The construction of professional identity by an EFL teacher in the first year of teaching: A case study” is the work of my own for the fulfilment of the M.A degree requirement at the National University of Hanoi, University of Languages and International Studies All cited works in the thesis are referenced as required Ha Noi, September 15th,2014 Signature Nguyễn Thị Lan Hạnh i ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS First and foremost, I would like to take this opportunity to express my deepest gratitude to my research supervisor, Dr Le Van Canh, for his professional advice and timely encouragement As a senior researcher, he enthusiastically offered navigating suggestions without which my study could have strayed from the right track Without his invaluable guidance, the thesis would be far from complete Secondly, my sincere and warmest thanks go to my kindest friends, Steve Dzung Pham and Hoang Thi Khanh Tam, for their unconditional help with the proofreading and editing of the paper No words can express my gratefulness for Steve for his precious assistance, which profoundly enhanced the quality of this research, although we have never met in person Khanh Tam also contributed considerably to the thesis, though under a poor health condition, which warms my heart every single time I think of it Last but not least, I would like to thank my family and friends who supported me during the research with their love and encouragement I especially give my heartfelt thanks to my dearest husband, Nguyen Duc Long, who stood tirelessly beside me with unconditional love and support Without his constant annoying yet necessary complaints about my procrastination, the thesis would have probably fallen behind schedule ii ABSTRACT Drawing on Wenger’s (1998) theory of identity formation, this thesis reports on a case study that examines teachers’ professional identity using narratives of a first-year Vietnamese EFL teacher Firstly, the results of the study affirm Wenger’s theory of identity construction as a dual process of meaning negotiation and identification, which is informed by engagement, alignment, and imagination Within the framework of identity formation, the study highlights a more prominent role of imagination in the development of identity than the literature has suggested Secondly, the paper inspects the major influences on identity formation Personal background and contextual factors contribute substantially to the construction, deconstruction, and reconstruction of teacher professional identity In addition, the study indicates that individual agency has a significant mediating role in the development of teacher professional identity iii LIST OF ACRONYMS BLS: Bright Language School EFL: English as a Foreign Language EPIK: English Program in Korea IELTS: International English Language Testing System JET: Junior English Test MOET: Ministry of Education and Training SB: Smart Board TESOL: Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages TOEFL: Test Of English as a Foreign Language TOEIC: Test Of English for International Communication LIST OF TABLES Table 2.1 Overview of the studies on professional identity formation iv TABLE OF CONTENTS CANDIDATE’S STATEMENT i ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ii ABSTRACT iii LIST OF TABLES iv LIST OF ACRONYMS AND ABBREVIATIONS iv TABLE OF CONTENT v-vii PART A: INTRODUCTION 1 Rationales of the Research Aims, scope, and significance of the study 2.1 Aims and objectives 2.2 Scope of the study 2.3 2.4 Research methods Significance of the study PART B: DEVELOPMENT CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW 1.1 Identity 1.2 1.3 1.4 Teachers’ professional identity Characteristics of teachers’ professional identity Construction of Professional Identity in the first year of teaching 11 1.5 The framework of professional identity construction 13 1.6 Previous studies on Teacher Professional Identity 15 1.7 Relevant Vietnamese Studies …………………………………….21 1.8 Limitations of Previous Research on Teacher Professional Identity ….22 1.9 Chapter Summary 25 v CHAPTER 2: METHODOLOGY 26 2.1 Current situation of English teaching in Vietnam 26 2.2 The research participant and the context of the study 30 2.3 Rationale for sampling: Details into Vi’s background……… 31 2.4 The research genre: case study 35 2.5 Data collection methods .36 2.5.1 Narrative Inquiry .36 2.5.2 Interviews … 40 2.6 Data analysis procedures 42 2.7 Chapter Summary 44 CHAPTER 3: FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION 45 3.1 Findings 45 3.1.1 In High School: The ‘Deaf-and-Dumb’ English Learner.45 3.1.2 In University: The Suffering Newcomer ……………….46 3.1.3 A result of long-preserved beliefs: The custodian of the communicative approach ………………………………… 46 Grouping strategy: Successful Learned Practices - Failed Outcomes 48 3.1.4 A result of long-preserved beliefs: The quiet co-worker 49 3.1.5 A result of long-preserved beliefs: The subject matter expert 52 3.1.6 Unarticulated thoughts 53 3.1.7 The uncertain friend-teacher in the relationship with students 56 vi 3.1.8 The IELTS instructor 56 3.1.9 Summary 56 3.2 Discussion ……………………………………………………… 57 3.2.1 Engagement………… …………………………….58 3.2.2 Power relationships………………………………………61 3.2.3 Imagination…………………………………………… 61 3.2.4 Alignment……………………………………………… 65 3.2.5 Personal background and contextual factors…………….65 3.2.6 Agency………………………………………………… 67 3.2.7 Negotiation of meanings……………………………… 68 3.2.8 Summary……………………………………………… 69 PART C: CONCLUSION 70 Summary of findings 70 Pedagogical implications 72 Limitations of the study and suggestions for future research 74 REFERENCES…………………………………………………………… 76 APPENDIXES……………………………………………………………… I vii PART A: INTRODUCTION Rationale of the Research In the last few decades, teachers’ professional identity has attracted the interest of researchers and scholars worldwide Teachers’ professional identity has emerged as a separate area of research (Beijaard, Meijer, & Verloop, 2004, p 107) A large proportion of academic works have been carried out to explore teacher professional identity It has become a focal point among educational researchers with interest in teacher development, especially in English as a Foreign Language (EFL) teacher development (e.g., Anteliz, Coombes, & Danaher, 2006; Beijaard, Meijer, & Verloop, 2004; Gaudelli & Ousley, 2009; Hamman, Gosselin, Romano, & Bunuan, 2010; Soreide, 2006) There are two driving forces that have provoked interest in this research avenue One is the complex status of World English that results in the questioning of the status of the native speaker teacher (see Phillipson, 1992; Canagarajah, 1999; McKay, 2002) The other is the marginalization of the non-native teacher (Braine, 1999; Brutt-Griffler & Samimy, 1999; Liu, 1999) One of the research topics concerning teacher professional identity is how professional identity is constructed during the first year of teaching Foreign language teachers are not only seen as teaching practitioners operating in their own world, but also as social entities that are in constant interaction with and under influence of various socio-cultural and sociopolitical elements that characterize their communities of practice (Miller, 2009) The interplay and negotiation between these socio-cultural influences and teachers’ own learning experience, teaching beliefs, and personal practical knowledge, as Farrell (2009) stated, is one of the factors that is considered a challenge to second language teachers in the process of establishing themselves professionally To neophytes in the teaching profession, this process of forming Appendix 8: Journal entry Now that facebook has become a daily channel of communication, a lot of my colleagues and their students are communicating via it, not just professionally (assigning homework, reminding the students of doing homework, giving advice) but also personally (commenting on personal pictures, poking each other, …) I have a facebook account of my own but I don’t use it so often I mostly only interact with my students in the classroom Therefore I know very little about their personal lives I would like to know more, but I’m also afraid that it would break my seriousness You know, getting too close to someone means a risk of losing her/his image in you I don’t want my students to see too much of my personal life such as playful pictures with my friends or silly statuses on my page which, who knows, they might see as immaturity Therefore I won’t let the students know my page when they ask I would rather be a distant but bright star than a dim one in proximity of my students For me a teacher should be serious-looking whose main job is to help students progress in the subject, not to chit chat with them So-saying doesn’t mean that I let myself wear a stern face to see my students every day In fact I think I am very much of a smiley face in the classroom So I guess what I mean by seriousness here is not a sullen or cold facial expression by the teacher, but his/her concentration on the main task, which is teaching, rather than other kinds of interaction with students I really concentrate on what I’m doing professionally, and my students seem to have good moments with me in the classroom However I must admit that sometimes I feel envious of my colleagues who hang out with their students very often They go out for coffee or che or lunch with the students Some of my students have asked me for personal meetings, too I went and I did enjoy their companions But it stopped there I guess being young (some of my students are even older than I am) plus too much personal interaction with students would make me their friend rather than their respectable teacher, while for now I prefer the latter I guess because I’ve just become a teacher for a few months, XXVI what I need is to build the image of a teacher rather than that of a friend to my students But again, being loved and sharing personal stories with students feel too good to ignore totally It feels like you’re a popular teacher, not only at school, but in their lives too XXVII Appendix 9: Journal entry Remember I said somewhere that I felt very lucky that back in university I got into this class full of excellent students? I keep the same notion now Actually I think they were a big part in my graduation with a high distinction degree I learned a lot from them That’s why I’ve been putting my students in groups every lesson I’ve given The way that I grouped them was good students and poorer students in one group Just like that each group is teamed up with students of different levels I did this because it worked for me when I didn’t understand the lessons back in university and my friends helped me with it I had hoped it would work out the same way for my students as it did for me once only to find out it was different this time The poorer students wouldn’t ask questions and the better students wouldn’t share what they knew They didn’t cooperate and so they were both frustrated I think this was due to the fact that they were just a bunch of students who gathered at an English center for a short time (4, months) and whose attachment with each other was pretty loose That’s why on the one side, the poorer students were too shy to ask questions and on the other side, the better students did not feel the responsibility or need to help A few groups put that way worked well though, but they were too few to persist on So I change the strategy Now I group students of pretty much the same levels of competence of English together I hope this will work better than my other grouping I need time for an answer though XXVIII Appendix 10: Journal entry 10 I’ve been very fond of teaching English in a communicative way That means I’ve focused on the skills more than on grammar, especially listening and speaking Almost everything I say in the classroom, I say it in English, including explaining grammatical knowledge I want my students to interact in English, with me and with their classmates, for real life situation like borrowing a pen or asking what the teacher said “Sometimes communication fails, but after a while it will improve”, I usually tell myself when I see confusion on my students’ faces Of course I also explain things in Vietnamese, but it’s always been a mixture of the two languages I codes witch regularly Yesterday one of my classes had a test I took the students’ papers home to mark To my surprise, very few of them passed the average mark though most of them communicate very smoothly in English The test required the students to write a paragraph telling about their dream jobs None of the students knew how to start and finish a paragraph in a proper way None of them expressed a clear and logical way of thinking on their papers They didn’t go straight to the point by saying what job they would like, but went around the bush the way Vietnamese people usually with conversations and talks And they made a lot of grammatical mistakes I blame myself for this I wonder what they have learned from me after three months Maybe they speak English better Maybe they understand spoken English to a certain extent Maybe they react naturally and quickly to an English string of words But once they are unable to produce a proper piece of writing or talk in an educated way with correct grammar, how far will that English, the English that I’ve taught them, help them go on their professional ways? Maybe I should reconsider my method of teaching As confident as I may look, now my belief in the communicative approach is violently shaken Should the traditional method where Vietnamese, the students’ and my mother tongue, is used more frequently in explanation regain its role in the language classroom? In order to answer those questions I need some time; however now I may consider focusing more XXIX on knowledge of grammar The thought of myself using Vietnamese trying to explain different kinds of verbs which go and not go well with continuous aspect is far less intriguing compared with myself talking openly with the students about homes, clothes, jobs, etc in English; however, for the sake of my students I will make a traditional teacher out of myself, and put that modern one aside for a while XXX Appendix 11: Journal entry 11 When I got the schedule and looked at the name of the co-teacher in a kiddy class, I was like “Oh no, Sheldon again” I remembered last time I worked with him as a co-teacher, everything went down terrible for me, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t an enjoyable experience for Sheldon either Seriously if I could turn back time and be his co-teacher in that class again, I’d have been different Now I think I acted the way I did because I never knew that he talked that much in the classroom If I had known from the beginning that he always had something to tell the students, I’d have planned to cowork with that I’d not have let being polite and quiet become a habit of mine in the classroom Now with the new class with Sheldon, I have a new role in the classroom: an interpreter In the first class with him I was so new and inexperienced, and the students were in grade and were very good students They seemed to understand all Sheldon said so I didn’t have to help them with his instruction I think that was one of the reasons why I felt so marginalized from the bond between Sheldon and the students Now, however, most of our students are in grade and they need my help to understand what their expatriate teacher says I know this is my shot to reverse what Sheldon might have thought about me I help the students understand exactly what he expects them to and how they should it More importantly, I put them in order so that he doesn’t have to use too much energy or feel frustrated with the chaos of our students I also feel lucky in this regard because the kids are much more controllable then our first class of kids Trying to explain it, I realize, firstly, the current students are in grade 2, two years younger than the other group, making them more afraid of their teachers and so they often not dare to make too much noise However, the decisive reason is, I think, that Sheldon and I took over the previous class from a different pair of co-teachers; therefore, the students were already used to the ways of those teachers XXXI before us I’ve also heard that those teachers were a married couple, so I guess they must have offered a very familial atmosphere and that means the students could feel freer to run around and talk and play Then, I was so overwhelmed setting my foot into the class hearing screams and seeing eyes that seemed to say “Oh, she’s not Ms Ngoc (their previous Vietnamese teacher)” So I felt intimidated It was one of my first classes ever so feeling intimidated seeing that the students were chaotic (some of them never stopped talking or teasing their friends), the co-teacher cold, and the students sometimes asked where their previous teachers were, was not something I couldn’t comprehend myself Now, however, I think differently For kids, as long as I prove myself an interesting teacher who not only helps them learn English but also has fun with them, they’ll soon admire me as much as they admire any teacher that have taught them before Kids are the most accepting and the least critical type of students For coteachers, I first need to keep the class under control so that they can their job They don’t want to lose their fun, tolerating image in the kids’ hearts, so they don’t want to shout at them to make them quiet So I’ll that job A good thing is in Vietnamese culture, teachers are respectable, so we always have some kind of a solemn aura all around us, so students are usually afraid of Vietnamese teachers more, and so they stop talking or running around when I tell them to With Sheldon, though, I have to deal with the fact that he always talks But that’s no problem now because there always times when the kids look confused after he says something that they don’t understand That’s when I my job, explaining his instruction Sheldon seems happy with that Now we’ve started to talk more and I share with him what I’ve found out about the kids and what has happened in my solo day with them He seems satisfied with me now I’m so glad that I’m having a co-class with him now so that I have a chance to change his impression about me, that I can it XXXII Appendix 12: Journal entry 12 BLS was a truly international English center; with one third of teachers were English native speakers Different from other English centers that I know of, BLS had a very large office for teachers This was referred to as the teacher lounge In the teacher lounge, my colleagues gathered around every before and after class, and in break time When I first entered the school (I prefer to call it a school rather than a center because I found it more cohesive and as a matter of fact, I loved it very much), I didn’t come to the office very often since I didn’t know many other teachers After a couple of weeks, I started to visit the teacher lounge more regularly and I loved it there Vietnamese teachers usually huddled together at one end of the lounge, and expat teachers at the other end Initially I found myself among foreign colleagues more often than among my country fellows I sat with native speakers for two reasons First, I wanted to improve my English Second, I overheard a gossip between two female Vietnamese teachers when they were talking ill of someone else, and I didn’t like it Although my English speaking and listening improved a great deal after graduation, I still didn’t have a lot of opportunities to emerge myself in authentic communication At BLS with dozens of English native speakers around I found myself always interact in English After a while I felt that my speaking skill was so much more influent and I got to know a lot more slang and popular words used among expats I learned to speak English the native way I made American, English, and Canadian friends who admitted that they thought I was the best Vietnamese English speaker of the school One of them even said that my English was almost perfect, which I perceived as a generous compliment Yet it is true that my English, personally observed, was best when I talked with him because I felt most comfortable around him We never developed any romantic relationship but there was always some kind of chemistry between us This put me in a relaxed mood that helped bring various phrases, simple to complex, from the back of my brain to the tip of my tongue He once told me he was impressed by the XXXIII flexibility of my language Imbedded in an authentic environment where English was obligatory for communication, my language skills were greatly advanced However, after some time I started to notice unsatisfactory look from some of my female Vietnamese colleagues I thought maybe I should socialize with them, too Therefore, I swapped my seats at the lounge Now I sat among Vietnamese teachers I started talking with them and found them as even more helpful than foreign teachers, in different aspects For example, I would ask them how to handle a difficult situation in a class and they would give me very useful advice They also shared personal as well as professional experiences that I found very much relevant to my own life One of them, Ms Kieu, told me a while later that I was a respectful new recruit and that I tended to learn from the seniors I felt that it was what she liked about me She liked to be respected as an experienced teacher who could teach new ones Therefore, I tried to ask her a lot of questions with which she could showcase her knowledge Now she’s one of the colleagues that I talk with most Besides, I was very popular with a few senior teachers at BLS There were three things they liked about me that I knew of First, I was from Hue so I speak with a soft and “lovely” central accent (they told me so) The important thing was everyone else had the same Southern accent; so I was like a unique element of the school Some of them said they loved to hear me speak Second, I was a respectful young woman Third, this was not officially recognized, but I knew that they liked my spoken English, too As I’ve written before, both Vietnamese and expat teachers usually gathered in the teacher room There were three forms of conversation there: the one among Vietnamese teachers was carried out in Vietnamese; the one among expats in English; and the inter-cultural one in English as well Naturally, a lot of English would be heard in the teachers’ office My spoken English was heard, too; and those heard it liked it I swear I’m being totally honest I had once felt frustrated because I couldn’t produce proper English utterances; now, on the contrary, I was even more confident of my speaking skill than of my knowledge of grammar I got a lot of XXXIV compliments from my workmates and students in terms of my spoken English Some of my students thought I had studied in a native speaking country Anyway, my senior colleagues (who were in their fifties and sixties) liked me I liked them, too Sometimes I would go out for a coffee or a meal with one of them each time One of them even came to my apartment with flowers and cake on my birthday Another offered to lend me money to study a Master’s course And another offered to buy me a TV Except the flowers and the cake, I refused all other help Although I knew they didn’t require anything from me to help, I didn’t like the idea of owing people no matter how much they liked me I was also afraid if other people from work knew that these colleagues (all of them were men) were offering me so much help they would think worse of me I really wanted to stay close to them, but they kept giving things that I couldn’t take; therefore, as much as I wanted to feel loved, I gradually developed a certain distance with these lovely workmates Different from older co-workers, younger ones (who were a few years older than me and most of them are women) did not seem to enjoy my presence that much I tried to talk to a few but they seemed only socially courteous It’s been almost a year here and all friends I have at work are either much older Vietnamese fellows or foreigners XXXV Appendix 13: Journal entry 13 Two weeks ago the chief of the academic department called me in and told me that they were considering making me a prospective IELTS teacher I was very happy with the news It was a splendid opportunity and considerable professional progress because before me no other teacher at my age (23 years old) at the center has ever been given the responsibility for an IELTS class Of course it would take some training before I become officially an IELTS instructor, but the news already made my day She said there would be a few training sessions in the coming weeks I was very excited That night when I came home, I buried my head in heaps of books and materials related to IELTS, I dug up all the relevant information I had access of Now the training has not started yet but I think I’m pretty well equipped for the new role, an IELTS teacher I’ve even made some lesson plans already In my imagination, I’d really be an expert who can answer all of the questions my students come up with, who inspires them to try their best for their tests It kept me trying even harder to prepare myself for the ‘new position’ I had to prove that I deserve the promotion And so the last two weeks I worked harder than ever before I worked at home, I went to the center’s library, and most of my thinking was about myself in an IELTS class I imagined the students would be very demanding And I’d have to satisfy their questions If the last time I made myself work hard was to regain what I’d lost then this time I worked hard to get something I’ve never had before, which was more encouraging but no less pressured The thought of a raise and a new position equal to a lot of legitimate experienced teachers really added fuel to my days, until… for a personal reason, I have recently decided to move back to my hometown without starting a real IELTS class of myself, or even the training sessions XXXVI Interviews’ transcription: Interview 1 When you were a high school student, did you learn English elsewhere besides the school and private lessons with the English teacher? Like at an English center? Or from the Internet? Answer: No I didn’t go to any extra English class besides my English teacher’s, you know, for the provincial competitions And there was no Internet access in my home There were Internet shops around, but I rarely used them, and when I did, I did it only to chat with my friends Were your teachers in general and your English teachers experts in the subjects they taught? Answer: Yeah, uhm, some of them were Not all of them, but some of them were Those were the ones that I admired and respected most They were really helpful, and they were, like, always able and willing to help What were the topics of the conversations between you and the native teachers at BLS? Answer: Well, in general we talked about students and other common concerns like the school facilities or provisions like the computers in the teacher office, coffee for teachers or just about a new restaurant in proximity If we were closer then we’d talk about how we spent the night before or our plans for the next holiday Did you maintain your friendships with expat colleagues when you moved to the non-native group? Answer: Certainly I enjoyed their company and the authentic English environment they provided You wrote that some Vietnamese teachers were gossiping and you didn’t like that But you still decided to talk with them Why? Answer: It’s true I didn’t like what I heard But they were just two or three of them and I knew that not all Vietnamese teachers were gossipers Moreover, they were the majority of the school, I just couldn’t ignore them I mean I shouldn’t Many of them were experienced and respectable senior teachers that I could learn a lot from What were the topics of the conversations between you and the Vietnamese teachers? XXXVII Answer: Well, there were different groups of them even in the Vietnamese group Some of them and I would talk about fashion, like a pair of new shoes or a shop that was giving discounts With others, maybe I’d share some personal stuff like how nice my landlord was, or they’d talk about their kids Some of them would even talk about how they thought about me, of course all nice stuff (Giggle) They would hide their negative feelings about me right? They would not tell me about those But I enjoyed their company In fact, I found them very interesting and helpful in many ways What kind of students were there at BLS? Answer: Uhm they were usually local people That means people from HCM city Most of them were high school or university students who were from pretty rich families Because BLS is a prestige center Did you learn from your family or elsewhere specifically not to interrupt other people when they’re talking? Answer: Yeah from my family, uhm, and from society as well I think it’s a common trait in the Vietnamese culture In my family, I remember when I was much younger every time my father scolded my sisters, brother or me he often said “adults speak, children listen” Let’s talk about Sheldon Did you ever ask his opinion of your teaching performance or advice? Or did you just have this inner-dialogue and come to the conclusion that he underestimated your competence? Answer: Uhm, no, I actually never asked him about that I simply came to the conclusion because, you know, of what I already wrote in the journals Mostly because he never talked to me 10 Did the first experience with Sheldon affect the way you worked with other co-teachers afterwards? Answer: Of course I was really frustrated in the relationship with Sheldon after the first class So whenever I got a new class with a coteacher I always had a cautious attitude from the beginning, so that I wouldn’t disappoint the co-teacher Luckily I gradually became used to interrupting them, and in fact I think they’re glad I that because, uhm, because they know I’m helping them XXXVIII Interviews’ transcription: Interview Related to the communicative approach, you wrote that you would use traditional method of teaching after realizing that your communicative methods resulted in the weaknesses of your students in terms of English grammar Did you really use traditional methods? Answer: Uhm, a little I still used communicative activities But I also tried to explain grammar points in more details I think I just simply paid more attention to teaching grammar, that’s it Did the change in your way of teaching make any positive outcomes concerning your students’ knowledge and use of grammar? Answer: I guess yes, but just a little They understood the grammar points but when they spoke or wrote, they simply forgot about the rules I think it takes time for matters like that In your journal entry about what you thought an ideal teacher would be, you wrote “distinguishly styled teacher”, what did you mean? Answer: I meant a teacher that has a very different style of teaching Different how? Answer: I don’t know That’s what I thought when I was in university I thought being different from other teachers would make me someone special Did you try to be different when you became a teacher? Answer: No I forgot about it because I was busy being me (laugh) Actually I think everyone is special Each teacher has a different way of teaching It seems that you pretended to be someone else to align with the community of teacher, especially when it came to the Smart Board and the Top Notch series Looking back, would u want to change your behaviors? Answer: Ah, no, I don’t think I would I would still be the minority in such matters I would best keep my thoughts hidden (smile) Why did you hold on so tightly to the language expert identity? Answer: I tried so hard to protect my language expert identity, because the students were, uhm, very demanding They usually asked questions XXXIX which required immediate answers I didn’t just want to be a teacher who spoke the most native-like English, but I also wanted to be a wise teacher in my students’ eyes Furthermore, unlike in high schools, students at the center got to give written assessment about their teachers every time the course was done I didn’t want bad reflections on my teaching (laugh) Let’s talk about the IELTS instructor promotion You mentioned “legitimate teachers” in your journal Who were they? Can you describe them with more details? Answer: They were teachers that are highly respected at BLS Their teaching hours were much longer than mine then And their classes were different, too They were IELTS, TOEFL classes, while mine were basic English classes Do you think you really improved your knowledge after two weeks working hard when you thought you would become an IELTS instructor? Answer: Oh yes Although I never really became an IELTS instructor at BLS, I think the promotion, though not officially, was a milestone in my teaching career During those two weeks I worked very hard and my hard work widened my knowledge considerably XL