A study on family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs (from a lingual-cultural perspective). M.A. Thesis Linguistics: 60 22

Vietnam national university - Hanoi university of languages and InTERNATIONAL STUDIES Department of Post-graduate studies TRẦN THẾ KHOA A Study on Family-Related English and Vietnamese Proverbs (From a Lingual-Cultural Perspective) NGHIÊN CỨU CÁC TỤC NGỮ LIÊN QUAN ĐẾN MỐI QUAN HỆ GIA ĐÌNH TRONG TIẾNG ANH VÀ TIẾNG VIỆT (NHÌN TỪ GĨC ĐỘ NGƠN NGỮ VÀ VĂN HỐ) M.A MINOR THESIS Major: English Linguistics Code: 60 22 15 HÀ NỘI, 8/2009 Vietnam national university - Hanoi university of languages and InTERNATIONAL STUDIES Department of Post-graduate studies TRẦN THẾ KHOA A Study on Family-Related English and Vietnamese Proverbs (From a Lingual-Cultural Perspective) NGHIÊN CỨU CÁC TỤC NGỮ LIÊN QUAN ĐẾN MỐI QUAN HỆ GIA ĐÌNH TRONG TIẾNG ANH VÀ TIẾNG VIỆT (NHÌN TỪ GĨC ĐỘ NGƠN NGỮ VÀ VĂN HỐ) M.A MINOR THESIS Major: English Linguistics Code: 60 22 15 Supervisor: Assoc Prof Dr Nguyễn Văn Độ HÀ NỘI, 8/2009 iv TABLE OF CONTENTS DECLARATION……………………………………………………………………….i ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS…………………………………………………………….ii ABSTRACT……………………………………………………………………………iii INTRODUCTION Rationale…………………………………………………………………………….1 Aims of the Study……………………………………………… ………………….2 Scopes of the Study…………………………………………… ……………… Methods of the Study…………………………………………….…………………3 Design of the Study……………………………………… ……………………… DEVELOPMENT CHAPTER 1: THEORETICAL BACKGROUND 1.1 The Relationship between Language and Culture 1.1.1 Culture……………………………………………………………………………4 1.1.2 Language…………………………………………………………………………4 1.1.3 The Relationship between Language and Culture…………….……………… 1.2 Comparison between Two Cultures……………………………………….……….6 1.2.1 Same Form, Different Meaning 1.2.2 Same Meaning, Different Form 1.2.3 Same Form, Same Meaning, Different Distribution 1.3 Definitions of Proverbs and Family Proverbs 1.3.1 Definitions of Proverbs………………………………………………………… 1.3.2 Family Proverbs………………………………………………………………….9 1.4 Definitions of Idioms……………………….…………………………………… 10 1.5 Proverbs versus Idioms, Sayings, Conventional Phrases and Phrasal Verbs…… 11 1.6 Main Features of Proverbs from a Language-Cultural Perspective 1.6.1 National Features……………………………………………………………… 12 1.6.2 Meanings of Proverbs………………………………………………….……… 13 1.6.2.1 Synecdoche 1.6.2.2 Metaphor 1.6.3 Rhyming Words in Proverbs……………………………………………………13 v 1.6.4 Contrary Proverbs…………………………………………………………… 13 1.7 Summary……………………………………………………………… ……… 13 CHAPTER 2: TENTATIVE CLASSIFICATION AND COMPARISON OF FAMILYRELATED ENGLISH AND VIETNAMESE PROVERBS 2.1 Tentative Classification of Family-Related English and Vietnamese Proverbs 14 2.2 Comparison of Family-Related English and Vietnamese Proverbs 2.2.1 Attitudes towards Women………………………………………… …….15 2.2.1.1 Attitudes towards Women in Family-Related Vietnamese Proverbs 2.2.1.2 Attitudes towards Women in Family-Related English Proverbs 2.2.2 Love ……………………………………………………………………….18 2.2.2.1 Love in Family-Related Vietnamese Proverbs……………………… 18 2.2.2.2 Love in Family-Related English Proverbs………………… ……….19 2.2.3 Marriage 2.2.3.1 Marriage in Family-Related Vietnamese Proverbs…………… ……19 2.2.3.2 Marriage in Family-Related English Proverbs……………………… 21 2.2.4 Choosing Mates 2.2.4.1 Choosing Mates in Family-Related Vietnamese Proverbs……………22 2.2.4.2 Choosing Mates in Family-Related English Proverbs……………… 23 2.2.5 Husband-Wife Relationship……………………………………………….24 2.2.5.1 Husband-Wife Relationship in Family-Related Vietnamese Proverbs 2.2.5.2 Husband-Wife Relationship in Family-Related English Proverbs 2.2.6 Divorce, Remarriage and Polygamy……………………………… …….26 2.2.6.1 Divorce, Remarriage and Polygamy in Family-Related Vietnamese Proverbs 2.2.6.2 Divorce, Remarriage and Polygamy in Family-Related English Proverbs 2.2.7 Parentage……………………………………………………….………….28 2.2.7.1 Parents-Offspring Relationship in Family-Related Vietnamese Proverbs 2.2.7.2 Parents-Offspring Relationship in Family-Related English Proverbs 2.2.7.3 Parents’ Attitudes towards Offspring 2.2.7.4 Offspring’s Duties towards Parents vi 2.2.8 Brotherhood and Sisterhood, and the Relationship between Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law……………………………………………………….31 2.2.8.1 Brotherhood and Sisterhood 2.2.8.2 Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Relationship 2.2.9 General Rules on Behaviours in British and Vietnamese Societies……… 33 2.3 Summary………………………………………………………………………….35 CONCLUSION Recapitulation……………………………………………………………………….37 Implication of English and Vietnamese Proverbs for English Language Teaching and Learning………………………………………………………………………….…….38 Suggestions for Further Studies…………………………………………… …… 39 REFERENCES………………………………………………………… ……………40 APPENDIX .I Introduction Rationale We are living in an era of globalization and integration English, an international language has become a very necessary means of communication and cross-communication has become a pivotal demand for people the world over English may be considered to be the language of dancing since dancing is a language and you can speak with anyone Through language, people can express their opinions and exchange their ideas Moreover, they can exchange their material and spiritual values making the cultural knowledge of one another richer and more diversified Nevertheless, in each language there exist similar and different cultural concepts on many aspects of life such as customs, traditions, social conventions, human values, attitudes, behaviours, etc How can a foreign language learner communicate successfully with native speakers if they have poor understanding of the language itself and the language related to culture Through proverbs, each person knows the other’s point of view and ways of thinking Moreover, we understand one another via customs, traditions, lifestyles, etc We become friendly as a result Dr Denis Brutus, a Literature professor at the University of Pittsburgh, the USA, specified and extended the reality of the research of proverbs He said, “Through proverbs, I know your points of view, the attitudes of your ancestors Each time I know a new Vietnamese proverb, I become Vietnamese a little I believe when we know all proverbs of each other, we are brothers.” Somalian people said, “Proverbs put spice into speech.” Yobura people in South Africa consider the proverb to be an animal which nods its head when climbing uphill They said, “The proverb is the horse of conversation, when the conversation drops, the proverb picks it up” Vietnamese people regard the proverb as a pearl of academic thinking or a twinkling mist in literature In Vietnam, more and more people are eager to learn English and the need for learning English is becoming very urgent Most of the learners complain about the difficulties that prevent them from succeeding in conversations One of the main reasons is that they are not good enough at perceiving and using idioms, especially proverbs The usage of proverbs is to express ideas in a figurative way, draw good lessons via them and bring vividness and richness to the speaker’s conversation If a speaker uses proverbs skillfully, he/she can establish a good communicative relationship In terms of teaching English, lessons will be more interesting and effective if the teacher knows how to apply proverbs to designing different activities in an English class: quizzes, games, roleplay, etc Moreover, family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs interest me most because via these proverbs, I can draw very good lessons and know how to behave and treat others Each family is a social cell We will have a fair society if all the families are valuesoriented Moreover, family relationships play a very important role in educating children, the future generation For the above-mentioned reasons, I have decided to choose this theme for my minor thesis Aims of the Study - To find out the cultural features in family relationships in British and Vietnamese societies via English and Vietnamese proverbs (norms and values of culture, attitudes, behaviours and ways of denotation or emotional expression, etc.) - To find out the interesting things and the core, elegance, vividness and meaningfulness of family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs via which significant educational lessons will be highlighted and we can absorb the beautiful elegance and keep continuing the cultural lines - To apply family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs to teaching and learning both English and Vietnamese for Vietnamese people and foreigners, to create interesting and effective lessons and to form moral norms so as to educate students to become good citizens - To contrast the beauty, essence and elegance of family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs and their usage Scopes of the Study Proverbs are plentiful in both English and Vietnamese Therefore, it is impossible for the author to carry out an all-rounded study on them Only family-related proverbs are selected and a comparison between English and Vietnamese is made to distinguish one from the other In this study, only semantic features of family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs are discussed; cultural features are analyzed, not syntactic ones All English and Vietnamese proverbs are collected from dictionaries, books and the Internet Hence, this research does not cover all family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs, just those of common use (more than 200 Vietnamese proverbs and about 200 English proverbs) Methods of the Study Contrastive Analysis is the main research approach used in my M.A minor thesis Quantitative and qualitative methods are used By virtue of the quantitative method, data have been collected for the study including both English and Vietnamese proverbs denoting family relationships The qualitative method is applied to describe and analyze the data of the study Using statistics and deduction can help the author of this minor thesis to improve his teaching This can be applied to English teaching and learning at Quang Ninh Center for Continuing Education and Cadre Training Design of the Study This minor thesis consists of three main parts In addition to the Introduction and Conclusion, the study is organized around two chapters The Introduction raises the issue of English and Vietnamese proverbs in family setting Chapter deals with the relationship between language and culture, the comparison between two cultures, several definitions of proverbs, main features of proverbs, the differences among proverbs, idioms, sayings, conventional phrases and phrasal verbs Chapter is concerned with the classification and comparison between English and Vietnamese proverbs within family setting The Conclusion sums up the main issues discussed in the thesis The author also raises his own opinion on the topic and suggests several ideas for further studies Development Chapter 1: Theoretical background 1.1 The Relationship between Language and Culture 1.1.1 Culture In Goodenough’s definition (1957:167), the term “culture” is used in the sense that a person must know whatever so as to function in a particular society Culture may be described by some people as opera, fine art, and so on, as in the definition of Oxford Advanced learner’s Dictionary (1992), culture is “refined understanding and appreciation of art, literature.” Culture, however, in our sense in relation to language is the way we act, the context in which we exist, think, feel and relate to others According to Kottak, C.P (1979: 40), culture, taken in its widest sense, is “that complex whole which includes knowledge, beliefs, arts, morals, law, customs, and any other capabilities and habits acquired by man as a member of society.” In this definition, culture is taken as socially acquired knowledge in a community and anything like habits However, this definition is a rather large one to consider the relationship between language and culture Therefore, culture is the know-how that a person must possess to get through the task of daily living; only for a few does it require a knowledge of some, or much, music, literature, and the arts 1.1.2 Language The linguistic concept of language is the central focus, not the metaphorical uses of the language concept that one meets in other cultural and societal studies, not least those with a semiotic or formal orientation, and in everyday language Stuart Hall described language like this: How does language construct meanings? How does it sustain the dialogue between participants which enables them to build up a culture of shared understanding and so interpret the world in roughly the same ways? Language is able to this because it operates as a representational system In language, we use signs and symbols – whether they are sounds, written words, electronically produced images, musical notes, even objects – to stand for or represent to other people our concepts, ideas and feelings (Stuart Hall, 1997: 1) 1.1.3 The Relationship between Language and Culture According to Kramsch (2000: 3), language is the principle means whereby we conduct our social lives When it is used in communication, it is bound up with culture in multiple and complex ways Kramsch, one of the most important recent researchers within the field of language, culture and learning, says in her book Language and Culture (1998a: 30 that: + language expresses cultural reality; + language embodies cultural reality; + language symbolises cultural reality Kramsch’s presentation moves the view of the relationship between language and culture in a post-structuralist direction, even though she herself does not use this term in her 1998 book The first point: “language expresses cultural reality” Kramsch explains in the following way: The words people utter refer to common experience They express facts, ideas or events that are communicable because they refer to a stock of knowledge about the world that other people share Words also reflect their author’s attitudes and beliefs, their point of view, as well as those of others In both cases, language expresses cultural reality (Kramsch, 1998a: 3) The second point: “language embodies cultural reality” she explains as follows: But members of a community or social group … also create experience through language They give meaning to it through the medium they choose to communicate with one another, for example, speaking in the telephone or face to face, writing a letter or sending an e-mail message, reading the newspaper or interpreting a graph or a chart The way in which people use the spoken, written, or visual medium itself creates meanings that are understandable to the group they belong to, for example, through a speaker’s tone of voice, accent, conversational style, gestures and facial expressions Through all its verbal and non-verbal aspects, language embodies cultural reality (Kramsch, 1998a: 3) The third point: “language symbolises cultural reality” is described as follows: … language is a system of signs that is seen as having itself a cultural value Speakers identify themselves and others through their use of language (Kramsch, 1998a: 3) J.A Fishman is probably the sociolinguist who has dealt most and for the longest time with the relationship between language and culture, especially in connection with the 27 “Gái khôn tránh khỏi đị đưa, trai khơn tránh khỏi vợ thừa người ta.” (Man shouldn’t marry a woman who has been married once.) “Gái chồng rẫy không chứng tật kia.” (She whose husband left is good for nothing.) Years ago, polygamy existed in Vietnam A man might have two wives at the same time If the first wife approved of her husband’s remarriage, he could that Two wives and a husband could live happily in a house Even though the first wife did not agree, he might still that Eventually, their family broke off and suffered an unhappy life In accordance with Vietnam’s law at that time, he was not forbidden to marry the second wife or even the third one However, no woman wanted her husband to share joy and sorrow, especially money with another woman In Vietnamese proverbs, polygamy was not encouraged One proverb shows that there would be more debt and unhappiness if he had more than one wife The other proves that she would rather die than live with a married man There exist the following ones: “Lắm vợ, nợ nhiều oan gia.”; (Lots of wives and children are bills of charges.); “Chết trẻ lấy lẽ.” (She’d rather die at her young age than be his second wife.) 2.2.6.2 Divorce, Remarriage and Polygamy in Family-Related English Proverbs In British culture, remarriage and divorce are normal There is no polygamy because it is illegal It is strange to have two wives at the same time, even in the past Unlike Saudi Arabian culture, a man can get married to more than one wife and all his wives are very friendly with one another In Britain and some other European countries, a husband and a wife can get divorced easily if they don’t love each other any longer A man can remarry another woman and vice-versa It is common in European society whereas it is not in Vietnam and other Asian countries, such as China The duty of being a wife is not paid attention to in European countries, but it is in Vietnam Hence, a woman who gets married for the second time can be regarded as a bad woman and she may be condemned by the society Undoubtedly, cultural factors greatly influence the matter of marriage, especially remarriage, divorce and polygamy There are not many proverbs associated with this matter There is one in English which refers to the unhappiness a man has to suffer That is his wife and children There runs a proverb: “Wife and children are bills of 28 charges.” (“Con nợ, vợ oan gia.”) In fact, this proverb works to some extent To other extent, it does not Due to the difference between Vietnamese and British cultures, proverbs on divorce, remarriage and polygamy in English and Vietnamese have their own distinguishing features and sound really interesting 2.2.7 Parentage 2.2.7.1 Parents-Offspring Relationship in Family-Related Vietnamese Proverbs The structure of Vietnamese families is different from that of British families In Vietnam, there are extended families whereas there are nuclear families in Britain Grandparents, parents, sons, daughters, and even sons-in-law, daughters-in-law and other relatives, maybe aunts, uncles, nephews or nieces live together in a family Currently, the structure of Vietnamese families is smaller than the one in the past Accordingly, grandparents may live with two generations The father is the most important person who shares the duty of taking care of children and takes responsibility of earning a living for the whole family The mother is supposed to the chores such as cooking, washing up, etc Her main duty is to take care of children Nevertheless, she can take part in social activities Children’s success depends a lot on parents, especially the mother We often hear of Vietnamese proverbs such as “Công cha núi Thái Sơn; nghĩa mẹ nước nguồn chảy ra.”, (The father’s contribution is as great as Thai Son Mountain; the mother’s benevolence is as vivid as water from the source.) “Bên cha vái, bên mẹ kính.”, “Có cha sinh ta; làm nên thời mẹ cha vun trồng.”, “Công cha đức mẹ cao dầy; cưu mang trứng nước ngày ngây thơ.” The father protects all the members in the family He is regarded as the roof-top of a house What if there is no rooftop? It is not a perfect house The house without a roof-top will collapse any time That is why the father plays an important role in ensuring a happy family Without the father’s assistance, the child will be spoilt There are some proverbs in Vietnamese such as: “Con không cha nhà khơng nóc.”, “Con khơng cha nịng nọc đứt đuôi.” (“A fatherless child is like a bee without hive.”) The mother is considered to be as important as the father, even more important We often hear of Vietnamese proverbs such as: “Cha sinh, mẹ dưỡng.”, “Công cha, nghĩa mẹ.”, (The father’s contribution, the mother’s benevolence.) “Con có mẹ thiên hạ có vua.” 29 (Offspring living with mothers are like the nation being reigned by the King.) “Con có mẹ măng ấp bẹ.”, etc A motherless child is considered as very unhappy Without the mother’s upbringing, the child will cope with lots of hardships The mother makes a large contribution to raising and educating the child She must sacrifice a considerable amount We have: “Nuôi cho vng trịn, mẹ thấy dầu dãi, xương mịn gối cong.” “Ni biết tình, thầm thương cha mẹ ni xưa.” “Mồ cơi mẹ liếm chợ.” 2.2.7.2 Parents-Offspring Relationship in Family-Related English Proverbs The Parents-Offspring relationship in British families expressed in English proverbs shows that the father’s role of educating his children is really important There exist the following proverbs: “It is a wise father that knows his own child.” (Một người cha khôn ngoan hiểu rõ mình.); “One father is more than a hundred school masters.” (Một người cha trăm ông thầy.) The British mother doesn’t have as much free time as the father The wife’s work is too busy: “A woman’s work is never done.” (Công việc phụ nữ khó mà hồn thành.) To sum up, the relationship between parents and their offspring differs due to culture difference This relationship in Vietnamese society can be more highly appreciated than that in British society 2.2.7.3 Parents’ Attitudes towards Offspring In terms of parents’ attitudes towards their children, there are distinguishing features in Vietnamese and British cultures However, the way of educating children is not the same In Vietnam, children can cause a burden to parents Nevertheless, children are regarded as a very precious possession “Rậm rậm của.” (Better more children than more wealth.) “Có tội sống, khơng có tội chết.” (Having no children is committing death.) “Con khôn nở mặt cha mẹ.” (“Happy is he that is happy in his children”.) “Con ngoan làm sang cha mẹ.” (“Good children bring glory to their parents.”) 30 “Con tiên, người cú.” (“Every mother thinks her own gosling is a swan.”) or (“The devil’s child is the devil’s luck.”) Vietnamese people prefer to have a son as their first child The main reason is to keep their race alive They think that it is better to have a son than to have a Ph.D degree Hence, we have: “Thứ đẻ trai, thứ hai đỗ ông nghè.” The eldest son in the family has an important position in the family He is the one who gets the bigger share than his younger brothers and sisters It is he who worships their ancestors Nevertheless, the children’s behavior is no less important Good daughters are much better than naughty sons That is why there is a Vietnamese proverb: “Gái mà chi, trai mà chi, sinh có ngãi có nghì hơn” (It is not important to have a son rather than a daughter, provided that he or she treats his/her parents well.) In British society, their opinion is quite different They prefer the second son to the first one because they think that the second son is more intelligent and wiser than the first one There run the following proverbs: “The younger brother is the better gentleman.”; “The younger brother has more wit.” The way to educate children in both Vietnamese society and British one is concerned with by their parents The way to educate them is the same as the one to bend the trunk of a young tree It is easy for us to bend a tree when it is still young, so is it for us to teach them how to behave when they are still small There are at least five English proverbs which convey the above-mentioned meaning: “Learn young, learn fair.”; “Strike while the iron is hot.”; “Train up a child in the way he should go.”; “What’s learnt in the cradle lasts till the tomb.”, In Vietnamese, we have different versions: “Đập sắt cịn nóng.”; “Tre non dễ uốn.”; “Dậy từ thuở thơ, dạy vợ từ thuở ban sơ về.”; “Uốn từ thuở non, dạy từ thuở thơ ngây.” Parents must teach their children how to communicate in order not to offend others, especially adults Moreover, they must not be too permissive but must be very strict to their children if they want to educate their children effectively “Enough is as good as a feast.” (“Học ăn, học nói, học gói, học mở.”) “Spare the rod and you spoil the child.” (“Yêu cho roi cho vọt, ghét cho cho bùi.”) 31 2.2.7.4 Offspring’s Duties towards Parents Filial love or piety is the foundation of every duty which offspring have to carry out Accordingly, they have to love, respect their parents and obey their orders That is the children’s gratitude to their parents Filial love is expressed when parents are still alive and even when they pass away Children’s desire is to the same job as their father’s or mother’s They have to what is required by their parents If not, they will be considered to be ungrateful Piety is also proved in the sense that children take great care of their parents when they grow old In Vietnam, looking after ancestors’ tombs and worshiping tables is necessary Vietnamese people believe that if their grandparents and parents are buried in a good place, this will help them prosper There is a popular proverb in Vietnamese: “Sống mồ mả, chẳng sống bát cơm.” (Live for tombs, not for the bowl of rice.) Some other proverbs refer to the children’s filial piety: “Chiều chiều xách giỏ hái rau, ngó lên mả mẹ, ruột đau dần.” or “Ngồi buồn nhớ mẹ ta xưa, miệng nhai cơm búng, lưỡi lừa cá xương.” British children are not concerned about filial piety It is not a custom to burn incense sticks and pray like in Vietnam Looking after tombs and worshiping tables is not mentioned Yet, tombs in Britain are cared for by relatives Flowers are often brought on birthdays, at Christmas, etc Therefore, proverbs associated with this matter are rare 2.2.8 Brotherhood and Sisterhood, the Relationship between Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law 2.2.8.1 Brotherhood and Sisterhood In Vietnamese society, brothers and sisters must love and help one another Younger brothers and sisters must respect elder ones and obey their requirements In their turn, they must protect their younger ones and help to look after them Brothers and sisters are regarded as hands and feet Proverbs of this type are: “Chị em liền khúc ruột mềm.” or “Anh em thể tay chân.”; “Anh thuận em hoà nhà có phúc.”; “Khơn ngoan đối đáp người ngồi, gà mẹ hoài đá nhau.”; “Một giọt máu đào ao nước lã.” (“Brothers are like hands and feet.”; “Blood is blood.”) The relationship among brothers and sisters in British families is not vividly expressed in English proverbs Unlike Vietnamese society, the relationship among them is not so deep Brothers and sisters are not quite responsible to one another An outstanding 32 feature is that younger brothers and sisters always expect their elder ones to become wealthy, but they cannot help theirs with finance “The brother would rather see the sister rich than make her so.” There are some equivalent English proverbs which are associated with brotherhood and sisterhood: “Blood is thicker than water.” (“Một giọt máu đào ao nước lã.”) “Brothers are like hands and feet.” (“Anh em thể tay chân.”) “Lovers’ quarrels are soon mended.” (“Giận mắng, lặng thương.”) 2.2.8.2 Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Relationship The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is a major problem to be discussed and has something in common in both societies even though cultures differ In general, it is not a good relationship This is expressed in both English and Vietnamese proverbs In Vietnam, most daughters-in-law live with parents-in-law and sisters-in-law Therefore, the conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is common in Vietnamese families However, this conflict or contradiction is not as serious as before There are several interesting proverbs in Vietnamese which are related to this relationship: “Trời mưa ướt đài bi, mẹ, mẹ xót, xót dâu!” “Mẹ chồng khơng nói tốt nàng dâu, nàng dâu khơng nói tốt mẹ chồng.” “Mẹ chồng nàng dâu, chủ nhà người yêu bao giờ.” (The mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law are like the landlady and her servant who hate each other.) The husband knows this very well, so he often reminds his wife to behave herself to satisfy his mother There runs a proverb: “Mẹ già em ơi! Nhịn ăn, nhịn mặc, nhịn lời mẹ cha.” (My mother is very fierce! Try to keep silent and control yourself.) We also sympathize with the daughter-in-law when the mother-in-law doesn’t trust her: “Trách cha trách mẹ nhà chàng I blame his parents Cầm cân chẳng biết vàng hay thau For not distinguishing gold from iron Thực vàng thau đâu It is 100% gold, in fact 33 Đừng đem thử lửa mà đau lòng vàng.” Please, not burn it or gold will be hurt In English proverbs, this conflict is reflected quietly - a distinguishing feature of British people It is really funny when a proverb shows that a mother-in-law is kind only when she is dead It is funnier when another proverb shows that the daughter-in-law feels very happy when getting married to a man whose mother died “There is but one good mother-in-law and she is dead.” “She is the happiest wife that marries the son of a dead mother.” In this relationship, the Vietnamese husband finds it quite hard to solve the problem One is his mother who gave birth to him and brought him up The other is his wife who shares joy and sorrow with him Who can he support? What can he when there is a conflict between them? What he does must satisfy both of them It is not easy, in fact On the contrary, the British husband finds it much easier to solve such a problem because he does not depend too much on his parents Moreover, the daughter-in-law does not usually live with the mother-in-law, so conflicts rarely happen In fact, the relationship between them in British society is not as serious as that in Vietnamese society 2.2.9 General Rules on Behaviours in British and Vietnamese Societies Family is the foundation of a society It is also a cell of a society Therefore, Vietnamese people’s opinion on family is the same and parallel to the one on society The way to live in harmony in the family is also applied to the lifestyle in society, so are the basic principles of behavior In other words, elderly Vietnamese people considered society to be an extended family The general rule on behaviours in Vietnamese society is “Respect older people, yield to younger people” This principle is expressed in the way of communicating politely, avoiding offense In other words, keeping face is necessary Most people want to hear sweet and soft words Hence, tender and soft words can satisfy one another This can be applied in both Vietnamese and British societies “Fair words cost nothing” (“Lời nói tử tế chẳng tốn gì.” Hay: “Lời nói chẳng tiền mua; Lựa lời mà nói cho vừa lòng nhau.”) In Vietnamese, there are several proverbs expressing the same idea: 34 “Nói ngọt, lọt đến xương.”; “Nói gãi vào chỗ ngứa.”; “Thổi phải biết chuyền hơi; Khuyên người phải biết lựa lời khôn ngoan.”; “Lời nói, gói bạc.”; “Lời nói quan tiền lụa.”, etc There are also equivalent proverbs in English such as “Courtesy costs nothing.”; “Fair words hurt not the mouth.”; “Good words are worth much and cost little.”; “Good words cost naught.”; “Kind words are the music of the world.”; “Politeness costs little, but yields much.”; “Soft fire makes sweet malt.”; “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” It is obviously noted that the Vietnamese proverb “Lời nói chẳng tiền mua; Lựa lời mà nói cho vừa lịng nhau.” can be expressed in eight different ways in English Everybody must be cautious not to make others lose face since everyone is afraid of losing face in front of other people Good points should be accentuated, bad points should be left behind “Tốt đẹp phô ra, xấu xa đậy lại.” runs a Vietnamese proverb In English I have found an equivalent proverb in which the image of a foul bird is taken as an example A foul bird may make its own nest dirtier, so comes out an English proverb: “It is a foul bird that defiles its own nest” It is said that Western people in general and British people in particular are very honest in daily conversations They hate telling lies even though they know that telling the truth sometimes causes trouble to them That is a distinguishing feature between Vietnamese culture and British one Because of being afraid of losing face, Vietnamese people often try to avoid having an argument in daily communication Patience and giving in can help them control themselves so as not to fly into a bit of temper Whenever they keep calm, they can talk and sympathize with each other Everything will be OK eventually One method of avoiding arguments is: “Một điều nhị chín điều lành.”; “Thua kiện mười bốn quan năm, kiện mười lăm quan chẵn.”; “Chữ nhẫn chữ tương vàng, mà nhẫn sống lâu.”; “Cả giận khôn.” Hay “Sinh sự, sinh.” In English, there are equivalent proverbs but they are expressed in different ways according to British culture “A bad compromise is better than a good lawsuit.”; “A soft answer turns away wrath.”; “Better a lean peace than a fat victory.”; “Better a poor compromise than a strong case.” 35 Vietnamese proverbs reflect the method which common people used in the old days to avoid losing face in communicating with one another and not to cause resentment Accordingly, they had to be more cautious, fair, tolerant and in harmony with other people In English the way in which the same idea is expressed is quite different due to the difference in culture One’s gratitude to other people in society is an extension of gratefulness to grandparents and parents in Vietnamese families In British families, there is a little difference Children’s gratefulness to their parents and grandparents is not taken great care of in comparison to Vietnamese society It is clearly stated that general rules on behaviours in British and Vietnamese societies are quite different in certain cases, yet contain common elements That is why we can find something interesting about them and use them properly in spoken and written English so as not to cause “culture shocks” in daily communication 2.3 Summary Via the contrastive analysis of family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs from a language-cultural perspective, we can find out that both English and Vietnamese proverbs focus on social norms and values, especially family relationships such as marital problems, children upbringing, ensuring a happy family, etc Most families in Vietnam are extended whereas most of the British families are nuclear Therefore, the problem seems more complicated in Vietnam where each individual has his or her own responsibility, duty, and right in an appropriate position in the family Vietnamese children have to express their piety to their parents, respect their grandparents and other relatives In other words, they have to be obedient and behave well in such a traditional environment However, British children behave differently due to distinguishing features of British culture The word “piety” or “filial love” does not exist in British culture, nor does the concept of worshiping ancestors and taking care of their tombs The relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law also differs in these two cultures as does the relationship between the husband and wife Faithfulness is considered to be a sacred thing in Vietnamese culture whereas it is not in British one Only by analyzing and comparing family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs, can we discover many interesting aspects in both these cultures By these means, we can 36 draw many useful lessons and apply them to communicating with native speakers successfully Moreover, we can apply them to teaching and learning English effectively 37 Conclusion Recapitulation English and Vietnamese proverbs, especially family-related ones are interesting, but complicated to study In this minor thesis, I cannot cover everything due to time limit I have dealt with their semantic features, not syntactic ones Chapter refers to theoretical background, including definitions of proverbs in comparison to idioms, sayings, conventional phrases and phrasal verbs Features of proverbs from a language-cultural perspective are also dealt with The relationship between language and culture is no less important in chapter In fact, language and culture always exist and reinforce each other Culture refers to what has been grown and groomed The word “culture” evokes the traditional nature or nurture debate Language is the principal means, hereby we conduct our social lives When it is used in contexts of communication, it is bound up with culture in multiple and complex ways Chapter is the main part of the research It refers to the contrastive analysis of familyrelated proverbs in English and Vietnamese from a language-cultural perspective Most of family relationships are concerned with such as parentage, marital status, brotherhood, sisterhood, etc These are clarified in both English and Vietnamese proverbs Through the analysis, researchers, teachers and learners can understand proverbs thoroughly and use them properly in specific contexts Many useful lessons can be drawn in order to help educate students, especially young people and children to become good citizens With the contrastive analysis, we can discover plenty of interesting things about family-related proverbs both in English and Vietnamese Due to culture differences, family-related proverbs in English and Vietnamese differ in terms of semantic features and their usage However, there is something in common as shown in chapter The most important thing we can find out is that only by understanding the usage of proverbs in different cultures, can we avoid culture shocks and misunderstanding when using proverbs in daily communication and making speeches 38 Implication of English and Vietnamese Proverbs for English Language Teaching and Learning In everyday English, we not use English proverbs frequently However, spice will be put into your speech if you use some of English proverbs In written English, especially essays, yours will sound more convincing if you use one or two proverbs in the introduction or conclusion In the body of the essay, to prove or demonstrate an idea, using a proverb will work well if it is quoted properly Presently, English is regarded as a compulsory subject at schools, colleges and universities Government officers and public servants are also eager to learn English because it is a language spoken all over the world That is why teachers of English should find out a know-how to make lessons more interesting and effective so as to help students improve English Learner-centered approach must be applied Interaction should be developed Role-play is no less important Nevertheless, using proverbs, especially familyrelated ones in lectures and games can create great opportunities for students to exchange ideas and share experiences, to analyze matters and draw useful lessons This is a good environment for them to perfect their English and develop their personalities Presentation plays an important role in communicative approach It is very demanding for not only elementary level but also advanced one In order to have an impressive presentation, each student should prepare his/her discourse very well Fluency leaves a deep impression in listeners’ minds Two or three proverbs add spice to the success of the presentation Through analyzing proverbs and giving examples, especially interacting with the teacher and other classmates, students can draw meaningful lessons, behave better and take prompt action Proverbs work well in games We often hear of game shows on television such as “Who wants to be a Millionaire?”, “Culture Discoveries”, “The Wheel of Fortune”, “Watching Pictures and Guessing Meanings”, “Face to Face”, etc Proverbs and idioms appear very frequently in these game shows Such programs are really educational and interesting Game shows can be applied to teaching and learning English Why not? Thanks to electronic teaching plans, we can design quizzes and show them on the screen Questions should include as many proverbs as possible, especially family-related ones A classroom can turn into a studio The teacher is supposed to be an MC Students become contestants and spectators How interesting! “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” 39 runs an English proverb Students must be keen on participating in such activities On the other hand, moral lessons are introduced to them so as to make them behave better and take responsibility in everything they It is “To kill two birds with one stone.” In a nutshell, proverbs can be used for the implication of English teaching and learning A good teacher must be a good actor or an excellent MC The success of a lecture or lesson depends so much on him/her It is high time teachers of English did something to make students get interested in learning English Suggestions for Further Studies This minor thesis has attempted to research on family-related proverbs both in English and Vietnamese from a language-cultural perspective However, due to the time limit and requirement of page number, the author cannot cover everything I have only dealt with semantic features, not syntactic ones Moreover, a family is a cell of society Through family relationships, we can investigate into social relationships I, therefore, have suggestions for further research which may be useful and interesting: * A study on family-related English and Vietnamese proverbs in terms of syntactic features * A study on English and Vietnamese proverbs associated with social relationships The field of the second thesis will be broader and more interesting 40 References In English Asher, R.E (1994), The Encyclopedia of Language and Linguistics, Pergamon Press, London Claire K (1998), Language and Culture, Oxford University Press Diep, Doan Ngoc (2007), A Study on Structural and Semantic Features on English Idioms of Anger in Comparison with Vietnamese Equivalents, M.A Minor Thesis, Vietnam National University, Hanoi Fishman, J.A (1991), Language, Culture and Communication, New York Jackson, H and Amvela, E.Z (1998), Words, Meaning and Vocabulary, Cassell Lyons, J (1985), Linguistics Semantics: An Introduction, Cambridge University Press Mieder, W (1993), Proverbs Are out of Season, Oxford university Press, London Mieder, W (1985), The Prentice Hall Encyclopedia of World Proverbs, Prentice Hall, London Norrick, N.R (1989), Proverbial Linguistics: Linguistic Perspective on Proverbs, The University of Trier Press 10 Norrick, N.R (1985), Trends in Linguistics: How Proverbs Mean, Mouton Press, Amsterdam 11 Page, M & Washington, N (1987), Family Proverbs and Value Transmission of Single Black Mothers, Journal of Social Psychology 12 Palmer, F.R (1990), Semantics, Cambridge University Press 13 Paster, A.B & Toldson, I.L (1982), Roots of Soul: The Psychology of Black Expressiveness, Garden City, New York, Anchor Press/Doubleday 14 Robert, L (1988), Linguistics across Cultures, The University of Michigan Press 15 Robins, R.H (1989), General Linguistics, London and New York: Longman 16 Seidl and Mc Mordie (1988), English Idioms and How to Use Them, Oxford University Press 17 Simpson, J (1993), The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs, Oxford University Press 18 Stone, E (1988), How Family Stories Shape Us, Glamour 41 19 Thuy, Vu Thi (2007), English Idioms about Human Characteristics through the Images of Animals, M.A Minor Thesis, Vietnam National University, Hanoi 20 Tu, Dao Thanh (2007), Idiomatic Expressions Containing the Word “Dog” in English and Vietnamese, M.A Minor Thesis, Vietnam National University, Hanoi 21 Vera, R.J (1994), Aging Families and Use of Proverbs for Values Enrichment, The Haworth Press, Inc., New York – London – Norwood In Vietnamese 22 Diên, Chu Xuân (1993), Tục ngữ Việt Nam, Nxb Khoa học xã hội, Hà Nội 23 Dự, Nguyễn Hữu & Dương, Nguyễn Trùng (2003), Tục ngữ Anh - 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