A vietnamese american cross cultural study of verbal and nonverbal behaviors in marriage proposal

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF POST - GRADUATE STUDIES ************ NGUYỄN THỊ THÁI A VIETNAMESE - AMERICAN CROSS - CULTURAL STUDY OF VERBAL AND NONVERBAL BEHAVIORS IN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL Nghiên cứu giao văn hóa Việt - Mỹ hành vi ngơn từ phi ngôn từ cầu hôn M.A MINOR PROGRAMME THESIS Major: English Linguistics Code: 60220201 Hanoi - 2016 VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF POST - GRADUATE STUDIES ************ NGUYỄN THỊ THÁI A VIETNAMESE - AMERICAN CROSS - CULTURAL STUDY OF VERBAL AND NONVERBAL BEHAVIORS IN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL Nghiên cứu giao văn hóa Việt – Mỹ hành vi ngôn từ phi ngôn từ cầu hôn M.A MINOR PROGRAMME THESIS Major: English Linguistics Code: 60220201 Supervisor: Prof Dr Nguyễn Quang Hanoi -2016 DECLARATION I declare that the thesis entitled “A Vietnamese-American cross-cultural study of verbal and nonverbal behavior in marriage proposals” reports the results of the study conducted by myself in fulfillment of the requirements of the degree Master of Arts It has not been submitted for any other degree at any other institution Hanoi, March 2016 Nguyễn Thi Tha ̣ ́i i ACKNOWLEGEMENTS I would like to express my deep gratitude to my supervisor, Prof Dr Nguyen Quang for his untiring and practical assistance throughout the process of my writing Without his responsible help and enthusiastic guidance, I would not have been able to complete this thesis I greatly wish to acknowledge my thanks to my classmates at the University of Languages and International Studies as well as my colleagues for their informative and constructive comments on my study Had it not been for their suggestions, this thesis could not have been fully completed Finally, my big thanks go to my beloved parents and husband for their constant support and unconditional care while I was writing this thesis Hanoi, March 2016 Nguyen Thi Thai ii ABSTRACT This paper is carried out at endeavor of investigating verbal and nonverbal behavior used in marriage proposal by the Vietnamese and American From that, major similarities and differences between the two languages in this regard are revealed On the basis of quantitative and qualitative methods, 70 clips are selected to collect data from Vietnamese people and American ones who are currently living in big cities The result reveals that Indirectness + Directness is the most common strategy used by the Vietnamese and the American in terms of verbal behavior Medium rate, pitch, volume, short pause and direct eye contact, formal postures, hand holding, hugging, kissing are mostly used by both Vietnamese and American people in terms of nonverbal behavior Besides, the study goes deeply in the differences between the two cultures iii TABLE OF CONTENTS DECLARATION……………………………………………………… i ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ii ABSTRACT iii TABLE OF CONTENTS iv LIST OF TABLES vi LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS vi CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION 1.1 Rationale of the study 1.2 Scope of the study 1.3 Aim & objectives of the study 1.4 Significance of the study 1.5 Research methodology 1.5.1 Research questions 1.5.2 Research method 1.6 Design of the study CHAPTER II: LITERATURE REVIEW 2.1 Culture, communication & their relationship 2.1.1 Culture 2.1.2 Communication 2.1.3 Relationships between culture & communication 2.2 Intralanguage, paralanguage & extralanguage 2.2.1 Intralanguage 2.2.1.1 Directness & indirectness 2.2.1.2 Classification of directness & indirectness 10 2.2.2 Paralanguage 12 2.2.2.1 Rate 12 2.2.2.2 Pitch 13 iv 2.2.2.3 Volume 13 2.2.2.4 Vocal interference 13 2.2.2.5 Pauses/silence 13 2.2.3 Extralanguage 14 2.2.3.1 Eye contact 14 2.2.3.2 Gesture 15 2.2.3.3 Posture 15 2.2.3.4 Touching 16 2.3 Marriage proposal 17 2.3.1 Definition 17 2.3.2 Marriage proposals in Vietnam & American 17 2.4 Review of previous studies 18 CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY 20 3.1 Selection of subjects 20 3.2 Research instruments 20 3.3 Research methods 21 3.4 Data collection procedures 21 3.5 Data analysis procedures 22 CHAPTER IV: FINDINGS & DISCUSSIONS 23 4.1 Intralanguage 23 4.1.1 Vietnamese findings 23 4.1.2 American findings 25 4.1.3 Similarities 26 4.1.4 Differences 27 4.2 Paralanguage 28 4.2.1 Rate 28 4.2.2 Pitch 29 4.2.3 Volume 30 4.2.4 Vocal interference 31 v 4.2.5 Pause/silence 32 4.3 Extralanguage 33 4.3.1 Eye contact 33 4.2.2 Gesture 35 4.2.3 Posture 39 4.2.4 Touching 40 CHAPTER V: CONCLUSION 43 5.1 Summary of findings 43 5.2 Implications 45 5.3 Limitations of the study 45 5.4 Suggestions for further study 46 REFERENCES 47 vi LIST OF TABLES Figure 1: Flowchart of face to face communication Table 1: Strategies applied in marriage proposals 23 Table 2: Rate used in marriage proposals 28 Table 3: Pitch used in marriage proposals 29 Table 4: Volume used in marriage proposals 30 Table 5: Vocal interferences used in marriage proposals 31 Table 6: Pauses/silence used in marriage proposals 32 Table 7: Eye contact used in marriage proposals 33 Table 8: Gestures used in marriage proposals 35 Table 9: Types of hand & head gestures used in marriage proposals 35 Table 10: Posture used in marriage proposals 39 Table 11: Touching behaviors used in marriage proposals 39 vii LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS Single directness SD Single indirectness SI Compound directness CD Compound indirectness CI Indirectness+Directness I+D Directness+Indirectness D+I Percent % viii Notice should be taken of the fact that it is the head up gesture that covers the most of the percentage The table reveals the highest rate 54.2% of the Vietnamese and at the same time highlights Head-up in Kien & Huyen’s proposal the biggest amount of American people (45.7%) up their head when proposing (as the weather man proposes his girl in the picture) It is not difficult to understand these rates because the speakers often have formal postures as getting on one knees to propose; thus they should move their American weatherman head up to propose head up accompanying with direct eyes to catch up and give full attention to the listeners Besides, the data shows that there are other head gestures which are often used in small percentage rate either in Vietnam and the US as head shake, head tilt with 2.85% in Vietnam and 5.71% in the US The man tilts his head when proposing In terms of head movement, a little attention goes to head down gesture (5.71%) Some Vietnamese men lower heads in front of their girls in proposing moment when they may feel uneasy or they may want to show their truthfulness Meanwhile, American people not prefer head down at proposing time as it is often regarded as their insecurity or uncertain 38 4.3.3 Posture Posture Vietnam American Formal 91.4% 100% Relaxing 8.57% 0% Table 10: Postures used in marriage proposals by the Vietnamese & American American Bended knee when proposing Vietnamese man bends on one knee The statistics from the table experience that a surprising number of the close 100% of the American propose their partners in formal postures American people are mostly considered formal in special occasions and marriage proposal is no exception It is clearly seen that all American men have beautiful rings in their hand and down on one knee looking up their girls when popping the important question before wedding Thus, there is a certainty that no American man have relaxed or informal posture when proposing to their partners Strongly enough, with a large proportion up to 91.4%, the author immediately understands that this formal posture is not only preferred by the American but also by Vietnamese ones People often bend down on one knee in the church or in front of royalty However, men from both cultures share the same choice of this formal posture to propose their girls with respect, and honor As a sign of respect, the man lower himself as an act of humility before the woman he desires to spend the rest of 39 his life with He is honoring her body which deserves to be revered Those are the reasons behind the blended knee in a marriage proposal In comparison with the American, there is a light difference when a small number of the Vietnamese feels easier and more confident to declare their wish to marry their girls in relaxing posture They assume standing posture instead of bending on one knee to create a closer and comfortable feeling to their partner Vietnamese boy chooses standing This rate is often seen in very young couples posture to propose his girl From these differences, people may notice the values, norms and cultural features of the two nations In the United State, the emphasis is absolutely upon formal posture while in Vietnam, formal posture is more favored besides relaxing ones 4.3.4 Touching Touching behavior Vietnamese Americans Holding hands 94.2% 100% Hugging 97.1% 100% Kissing 91.42% 100% Table 11: Touching behaviors used in marriage proposals by the Vietnamese & the American An easily found point from the table is the absolutely high percentage of the Vietnamese using touching behaviors as holding hands, hugging and kissing in marriage proposals (94.2% - 97.1% - 91.4%) 40 Hand holding of couples in California Hand holding of Linh –Duong Among these behaviors, holding hands and hugging are more common than kissing because it is not a custom for Vietnamese people to express emotions in public areas especially kissing However, the percentage is a real surprise for people who often think the Vietnamese are always traditional and reserved, the Vietnamese nowadays are more open than they used to be in the past when showing their love emotions in marriage proposal even in public places It is reasoned partly by the Western cultural affects and partly by their positive changes in mind Hugging & kissing of Vietnamese couple Hugging & kissing of American couple Similarly, the American take full advantage of holding hands, hugging and kissing to propose their partners The equal maximum frequency of these touches (100%) proves the truth that using body language is an effective means of communication as well as in conveying proposal message with the Americans and they are often open people in showing their emotions wherever they are in private or public areas 41 Comparing the two cultures, the Vietnamese and American share the same high rate in using hands, kissing or hugging to propose It seems popular to see a man proposing while kneeing and holding his beloved‟s hand and hugging or kissing afterwards in both cultures The idea of asking for a loved one‟s hand in marriage is highly symbolic gesture embodying the essence of committing one‟s life together, kissing is container of love, sweet, honor, trust and hugging is a sign of commitment Hence, in such romantic surroundings, these touching behaviors deem necessary and play indispensible roles of marriage proposals in both countries The distinction between the Vietnamese and the American in respect to touching behaviors is not big (more than 90% vs 100%) Nevertheless, the Vietnamese informants perform differently because of their traditional and conventional beliefs There is a fact that while kissing, hugging between lovers in public might be normal in Western countries like the US, a small number of Vietnamese people still consider hugging or kissing as something scared and secret which should be done in private space Those are main differences 42 CHAPTER V: CONCLUSION 5.1 Summary of findings: The principal goal of the study is to investigate how the Vietnamese and American perform marriage proposals Moreover, the study merely aims at comparing and contrasting verbal and nonverbal expressions used in marriage proposal by the Vietnamese and American The major findings would be recapitulated and subsumed under the two questions For the first question, the Vietnamese and American perform marriage proposal through verbal and nonverbal expression These expressions are realized by means of intralanguage, paralanguage and extralanguage These expressions can be listed as follow In terms of intralanguage, SD, CD, SI, CI, I+D, D+I are all employed in marriage proposals by the Vietnamese and American Among those, I+D is most frequently used by both the Vietnamese and American In terms of paralanguage, the Vietnamese and American propose to their partners through: rate, pitch, volume, vocal interferences and pauses/silence In terms of extralanguage, eye contact, gesture, posture and touching behaviors including holding hand, hugging, kissing are all applied by the Vietnamese and the American The most commonly used behaviors are holding hand, hugging, kissing by the American For the second question, the similarities and differences are summarized as below Intralanguage: Initially, the similarities between two cultures are apparent in the ways proposers resort to I+D strategy to propose their partners successfully This is the most common strategy the Vietnamese and American employ by appreciating the girls 43 „beauty, reminding the girls of sweet memories or thanking them of coming into the men‟s life before popping a direct important question “Will you marry me?” Furthermore, they also share the same percentage for CD and SD One more noteworthy point, SD and CI are not preferred strategies of informants from both cultures Regarding differences, the American employ more I+D and CD more than the Vietnamese Also, they tend to employ less SD than the Vietnamese An emphatic difference is the absence of D+I strategy in American‟s proposals while there is still a small number of the Vietnamese believe it as the right way to ask their partners It seems that both the Vietnamese and American prefer going in a roundabout way before giving a direct proposal However, the American are generally more direct than the Vietnamese Paralanguage Paralinguistic factors are a vital part for the success of a marriage proposal It is observed that medium level of paralinguistic factors in marriage proposals are most preferred to make their partners comfortable, happy and moved Thus, there is no better way than the proposers from both cultures convey the proposal at a medium rate, pitch, volume and short pause with little vocal interference Another fact worth noticing is that in such romantic moment, the Vietnamese often feel more embarrassed with long pauses while the American hardly make any long pause and only feel more emotional when standing in front of their partners Extralanguage: This study reveals that in marriage proposal, the Vietnamese and American have the same practice in four aspects: eye contact, posture, gesture and touching Particularly, direct eye contact, hand gesture, formal posture, kissing, hugging and holding hands are of high preference among both Especially, the distinction can be seen through the maximum use of eye contact, posture and touching of the 44 American During proposing time, the American take more advantage of direct eye contact, formal posture and touching behaviors than the Vietnamese In contrast, the Vietnamese talks with their hands more often than the American 5.2 Implications In the first place, the findings not only shows major similarities and differences between the Vietnamese and American in terms of offering marriage proposal verbally and nonverbally but also raise cross-cultural awareness of marriage proposal Apart from verbal code, the study lays strong emphasis on the vital role of nonverbal cues in communication This is hopefully for language teachers and students to improve their intercultural competence 5.3 Limitations of the study: Despite great efforts of the researcher limitations are inevitable - First, the research findings are based on 70 movie clips taken from the Internet (YouTube) without the author‟s observation The behaviors from a small number of people may not be totally typical for all people from two target cultures - Secondly, the interpretation of messages or meanings of some nonverbal cues is based on the researcher‟s subjective opinion and knowledge which may lead to some conflict in opinion - Finally, in this analysis, the author only covers some aspects of communication Regarding verbal messages, only dimension of indirectness is brought under investigation while others (formality – informality, positive politeness – negative politeness, etc) are ignored In respect to nonverbal messages, other factors such as types of vocal flow (in paralanguage), object language and environmental language (in extralanguage) are not touched upon 45 5.4 Suggestions for further study It is suggested that the following aspects in marriage proposal will be further studied: - Positive politeness - Negative politeness in offering a marriage proposal - Object language (wedding rings, clothes, flowers, hat, tie) in offering a marriage proposal - Environmental language (setting, color, environment, space) in offering a marriage proposal - Responding to a marriage proposal 46 REFERENCES Austin, J L (1975) How to things with words (2nd ed) Cambridge, Mass: 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Extralanguage Extralanguage is a fundamental part of nonverbal communication There are three main kinds of language in extralanguage They are body language, object language and environmental language In