writing band 7 5

Some people believe that the advent of economical air travel has been very beneficial by making international travel more accessible, while others argue that it has had a very negative i

Some people believe that the advent of economical air travel has been very beneficial by making international travel more accessible, while others argue that it has had a very negative impact.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about whether the development of economical air travel is positive or negative I personally believe that this development positively influences (missing word) lives of people around the world

On the one hand, I agree with those who believe that cheap air tickets benefit people in various ways Firstly, low-cost flights allow people to travel abroad easily Therefore, from the economic perspective, the development of (missing word) aviation industry can be extremely positive since it facilitates trading activities between countries whereby improving economic growth Secondly, thanks to accessible flights, people can travel with a significantly lower price than before For example, in the past only wealthy people were able to travel to other countries on holiday Today as air tickets are more affordable, many people can enjoy a holiday in other countries This implies the living standard had increased considerably

However, the development of economical air travel also causes some negative impacts As the economy grows more rapidly, pollution from economic activities also increases greatly Therefore, in the long-term, people’s welfare will be influenced adversely Another negative impact of air travel advances is that it fosters the process of globalization which means people around the world become more connective

Although this international connection is beneficial in some ways, it absolutely can undermine distinctive

cultures When globalization occurs, people in different countries will have similar ways of doing things

as well as lifestyles Therefore, in the long-run they may even lose their national customs and traditions

In conclusion, while I agree that cheap flights significantly contribute to better quality of lives, there are also some negative impacts which should be taken into consideration

(Total words: 271)

Red – Grammar

Blue – Word choice

Unnecessary words are crossed through words are crossed through unnecessary words

Score: 7.5

Task Response: 7

Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Lexical Resource: 8

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Comments & advice

Reasons for score

Task Response:

- This is a very words are crossed through good response which for answers the question directly words are crossed through

- I would just be careful about the slight contradiction between the line of

argument that y words are crossed throughou set out in the introduction and the more nuanced view that y words are crossed throughou took in the conclusion

- (I agree wholeheartedly words are crossed through with y words are crossed throughou about globalization!)

Coherence and Cohesion:

- The essay words are crossed through has a clear structure the sentences are well linked and the ideas are easily words are crossed through intelligible

- The paragraphs cohere well around a central theme in each paragraph

Lexical Resource:

- There is a high standard of vocabulary words are crossed through throughout, although (very words are crossed through) occasionally words are crossed through word choice could be better

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

- A good range of structures which for the most part are accurately words are crossed through formed Be careful with the use of articles and subject verb agreement for plurals or singular subjects of a sentence Don’t forget to check y words are crossed throughour essay words are crossed through at the end

Spelling mistakes:

None

I recommend writing out again the corrected sentences / phrases phrases

Good luck

Phil