Emotional Intelligence MTD Training Download free books at MTD Training Emotional Intelligence Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence 1st edition © 2010 MTD Training & bookboon.com ISBN 978-87-7681-600-1 Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence Contents Contents Preface 1 Overview of Emotional Intelligence 1.1 Introduction 1.2 Theories of Multiple Intelligences 10 1.3 The Importance of Emotions 11 1.4 Emotions and the Brain 13 2 Why Emotional Intelligence Matters in the Workplace 15 2.1 Introduction 15 2.2 Case Study Examples 17 3 Models of Emotional Intelligence 21 3.1 Introduction 21 3.2 The Ability-Based Model 21 3.3 The Trait Model of EI 22 www.sylvania.com We not reinvent the wheel we reinvent light Fascinating lighting offers an infinite spectrum of possibilities: Innovative technologies and new markets provide both opportunities and challenges An environment in which your expertise is in high demand Enjoy the supportive working atmosphere within our global group and benefit from international career paths Implement sustainable ideas in close cooperation with other specialists and contribute to influencing our future Come and join us in reinventing light every day Light is OSRAM Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Click on the ad to read more Emotional Intelligence Contents 3.4 23 Mixed Models of EI 4 Self-Awareness 26 4.1 Introduction 26 4.2 Emotional Self-Awareness 26 4.3 Accurate Self-Assessment 30 4.4 Self-Confidence 33 Self-Management 35 5.1 Introduction 35 5.2 Self-Control 36 5.3 Trustworthiness 40 5.4 Conscientiousness 40 5.5 Adaptability 5.6 Achievement Orientation 5.7 Initiative 360° thinking 360° thinking 41 42 43 360° thinking Discover the truth at www.deloitte.ca/careers © Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities Discover the truth at www.deloitte.ca/careers Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities © Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities Discover the truth at www.deloitte.ca/careers Click on the ad to read more Download free eBooks at bookboon.com © Deloitte & Touche LLP and affiliated entities Dis Emotional Intelligence Contents Social Awareness 44 6.1 Introduction 44 6.2 Empathy 44 6.3 Organizational Awareness 47 6.4 Service Orientation 48 Social Skills 49 7.1 Introduction 49 7.2 Influence 50 7.3 Leadership 51 7.4 Developing Others 51 7.5 Communication 52 7.6 Change Catalyst 52 7.7 Conflict Management 53 7.8 Building Bonds 54 7.9 Teamwork and Collaboration 55 8 Resources 56 We will turn your CV into an opportunity of a lifetime Do you like cars? 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We will appreciate and reward both your enthusiasm and talent Send us your CV You will be surprised where it can take you Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Send us your CV on www.employerforlife.com Click on the ad to read more Emotional Intelligence Preface Preface We all know someone who is incredibly bright and yet cannot seem to pull their life together The brilliant student who flunks out of university, or the incredibly intelligent worker who can’t seem to get ahead in their company We know from our familiarity with them that they have a good to superior intelligence level, but that doesn’t seem to be enough to ensure success And at the same time, we can probably describe in some form why we feel these people have not been successful Our descriptions would include certain traits or behaviors that have nothing to with intelligence Over time, scientists have begun to study why standard intelligence along isn’t enough to predict performance in an individual They have realized that there is another type of intelligence that isn’t related to the standard cognitive intelligence – it’s called emotional intelligence This textbook will cover what emotional intelligence is, how you can discover what your own EI actually is and how, by understanding your own emotions and those of others, take your leadership and management skills to the next level Sean McPheat, the Founder and Managing Director of management development specialists, MTD Training is the author of this publication Sean has been featured on CNN, BBC, ITV, on numerous radio stations and has contributed to many newspapers He’s been featured in over 250 different publications as a thought leader within the management development and training industry MTD has been working with a wide variety of clients (both large and small) in the UK and internationally for several years MTD specialise in providing: • In-house, tailor made management training courses (1–5 days duration) • Open courses (Delivered throughout the UK at various locations) • Management & leadership development programmes (From days to years) • Corporate and executive coaching (With senior or middle managers) Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence Preface MTD provide a wide range of management training courses and programmes that enable new and experienced managers to maximise their potential by gaining or refining their management and leadership skills Our team of highly skilled and experienced trainers and consultants have all had distinguished careers in senior management roles and bring with them a wealth of practical experience to each course At MTD Training we will design and deliver a solution that suits your specific needs addressing the issues and requirements from your training brief that best fits your culture, learning style and ways of working Our programmes are delivered when and where you need them! We believe that training should be fun, highly interactive and provide “real world” practical techniques and methods that you can use back in the office – and that’s exactly what we provide Download A FREE Self Study Management Course Please visit our website www.m-t-d.co.uk for further details about the services that we offer and to also download a FREE Self Study Management Course Contact MTD: Online: Web: www.m-t-d.co.uk Email: info@m-t-d.co.uk Telephone: From The UK: 0800 849 6732 International: ++ 44 800 849 6732 Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence Overview of Emotional Intelligence 1 Overview of Emotional Intelligence 1.1 Introduction We all know someone who is incredibly bright and yet cannot seem to pull their life together The brilliant student who flunks out of university, or the incredibly intelligent worker who can’t seem to get ahead in their company We know from our familiarity with them that they have a good to superior intelligence level, but that doesn’t seem to be enough to ensure success And at the same time, we can probably describe in some form why we feel these people have not been successful Our descriptions would include certain traits or behaviors that have nothing to with intelligence The study of emotional intelligence has its roots in the work of Darwin, who posited that emotional expression was essential for survival Over time, scientists have begun to study why standard intelligence along isn’t enough to predict performance in an individual They have realized that there is another type of intelligence that isn’t related to the standard cognitive intelligence – it’s called emotional intelligence Emotional intelligence is a relatively new subject of study, though its roots go back to the time of Darwin, who posited that emotional expression was essential for survival But what we mean when we talk about emotional intelligence? The fact is that there are numerous ways of defining emotional intelligence But for now, let’s say that it is the ability to be aware of your emotions and the emotions of others and then to use that knowledge to help manage the expression of emotions so that they foster success instead of cause roadblocks Those who have high levels of emotional intelligence, or EI for short, are able to understand the physical, mental, and social impact that negative emotions have on their bodies, minds, relationships, and ability to pursue and achieve goals They then are able to moderate their own emotions so that their emotions support their activities and enhance their quality of life Emotional intelligence involves a combination of competencies which allow a person to be aware of, to understand, and to be in control of their own emotions, to recognize and understand the emotions of others, and to use this knowledge to foster their success and the success of others People with highly developed EI are proven to be more successful in the workplace because they can understand their emotions and why they behave the way that they behave They can use their emotions as clues to what their body and mind are trying to tell them And they can use their EI to truly understand others and their points of view Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence Overview of Emotional Intelligence When they wield this kind of tool, they can overcome the kinds of emotional obstacles that tend to stop us all They can understand why others feel the way that they feel and why they are doing what they are doing, and use that knowledge to help others perform at their best They can resolve conflict quickly and recover from setbacks with aplomb They are good in a crisis, strong at communicating, and successful where others fail Later in this ebook, we’ll look in more detail at some real-life examples of how EI can help you in the workplace But now, let’s look at how emotional intelligence is different from our traditional ideas about intelligence 1.2 Theories of Multiple Intelligences Until the last century, the understanding of intelligence was strictly related to cognitive functions such as memory, learning, and problem-solving However, scientists had begun to understand by the 1900s that non-cognitive aspects of intelligence also exist For example, E.L Thorndike described a type of social intelligence that was related to managing and understanding others In 1940, David Wechsler further developed the concept of non-cognitive intelligence by arguing that no full definition of intelligence could exist until we were able to fully define those aspects that were not related to traditionally measured cognitive skills Then in 1983, Howard Gardner published a groundbreaking work entitled Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences He argued that people have more than one type of intelligence, and that these types of intelligence were also actually cognitive in nature, yet could not fully be defined by current models such as standard Intelligent Quotient (IQ) tests His model for multiple intelligences focused mainly on: • Intrapersonal Intelligence: the ability to understand one’s own feelings, motivations, and fears) • Interpersonal Intelligence: the ability to understand others and their desires, motivations, and intentions Howard Gardner’s work proposed two additional types of intelligence: Intrapersonal Intelligence and Interpersonal Intelligence Gardner believed that these additional intelligence types were just as important as traditional intelligence in predicting performance and success So although the term emotional intelligence wasn’t being used at the time, the concept was being explored It wasn’t until 1985 that the term emotional intelligence was first used in the sense that we use it today, to describe these additional types of intelligence The term was used in the doctoral thesis of Wayne Payne, A Study of Emotion: Developing Emotional Intelligence From this point, the field has become rich with different models for defining emotional intelligence 10 Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence Self-Management It can be particularly difficult to practice self-management in times of change But adaptability means you don’t let your feelings about change become the source of emotional and performance roadblocks In order to develop this skill, you will need to be able to identify why change might be causing a negative emotional response For example, let’s say that you get reassigned from one sales team to another Why might that cause you to have negative reactions? Some possibilities are: • Fear of not getting along with the new boss or colleagues • Fear of not having customer accounts that are as lucrative • Fear of losing your status as a ‘top performer’ • Fear of not being granted the privileges that your old boss did Obviously, these are just suggestions – every situation will be different But once you understand why you might be resisting the changes that you face, you can choose to handle it properly by addressing the fears or other feelings you have You will become more adaptable the more that you practice using this and other tools of self-management 5.6 Achievement Orientation When you are successfully self-managing, you are able to choose the actions and behaviors that will drive your goal achievement or the goal achievement of the team People who are strong in this skill things such as: • Determine what is important and prioritize accordingly • Keep their pride from getting in the way of their actions • Continually look for actions that will move them towards the goal and avoid those that won’t • Delay gratification when necessary • Do any job that is needed, even if it is ‘beneath them’ • Take care of themselves in order to perform at their best • Admit it when they have a problem • Ask for help when they need it • Reward themselves for achieving the goal When you are successful at self-management, you can choose the actions that will help move you towards your goals 42 Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence Self-Management 5.7 Initiative The final skill involved in self-management is initiative People who have a high level of initiative in the sense of emotional intelligence are those that look for ways to continually develop themselves They recognize that in order to be truly happy, they have to take responsibility for their lives Initiative means looking for ways to continually develop yourself and recognizing that true happiness comes from taking full responsibility for your life That may involve making lifestyle changes, getting more education, learning new skills, developing new habits, or any other action that will help them to improve the quality of their life They don’t blame others or the universe for their problems, they look for their own role in their current situation, and they accept responsibility for making any necessary changes They look forward to taking the next step on their path of development because they have experienced the positive benefits that have come from what they have already achieved, and they want more They also take initiative in problem-solving and conflict resolution They don’t allow disagreements to fester or misunderstandings to linger They take the necessary actions to clear away negative emotions that are stopping or hindering them, and they take action to prevent further similar occurrences 43 Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Click on the ad to read more Emotional Intelligence Social Awareness Social Awareness 6.1 Introduction The first two competencies we have examined were personal – they related to emotions of the self The second two competencies are social because they relate to understanding and working with the emotions of others The first two competencies, self awareness and self-management, were personal because they dealt with your emotions The next two competencies are social because they relate to understanding and working with the emotions of others Social awareness is the ability to perceive and understand the social relationships and structures in which you and those around you are operating It involves being able to understand how other people are feeling – and validating those feelings It requires being able to recognize relationships and structures within your organization or your social networks And it means understanding that individual happiness is dependent upon assisting others to achieve their own happiness as well The three skills comprising this competency are: • Empathy • Organizational Awareness • Service Orientation 6.2 Empathy Showing empathy can sometimes be one of the most difficult EI competencies to experience, particularly if you are in a heated debate or argument with the other person But showing empathy is a core EI social awareness skill because it allows you to get in the place of another person and see the argument or situation from their side When you do, you gain understanding of why a person feels or behaves the way they and what is motivating that feeling or behavior Then and only then can you employ the other EI tools in order to influence or manage the emotions and behaviors of others Empathy can be one of the most challenging EI competencies because it requires you to seek to truly understand the position of the other person This can be particularly difficult if you don’t agree with what the other person feels 44 Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence Social Awareness People who have experienced emotional extremes due to their experiences in life are more likely to already be emphatic because they know what such a large range of emotions feel like When we say that a person can relate to us, we mean that they understand how we feel because they have experienced something similar and felt similar emotions But if you haven’t experienced this breadth of emotions, you may find empathy more challenging In some cases, you might not be in touch enough with your own emotions to be able to accurately identify the emotions of others Yet as you grow in your own emotional intelligence, you can practice showing empathy until it becomes just habitual 6.2.1 Awareness and Acknowledgement To begin practicing empathy, you simply need to become aware of other people’s emotions Unfortunately, we can’t always rely on other people to tell us how they are feeling Think about the standard greetings in the workplace Usually one person says something like, ‘hello, how are you?’ and the other person responds with a ‘fine’ or a ‘good’ and a thank you, no matter how they are actually feeling So how you become aware of others’ emotions then? Awareness and acknowledgement don’t require agreement, but they allow you to understand and validate the other person’s feelings You will need to use some other tools to attempt to discover how the other person is feeling This is easy when the person is very emotionally expressive because you can usually tell from their body language, their facial expression, or their other non-verbal cues But for others, you will need to ask questions, read between the lines of what they are saying, and use trial and error until you get to the point where you understand how they are feeling You could use some questions such as: • Can you tell me more about that? • I think I hear you saying that you feel…is that right? • I seem to be sensing some reservations about this idea – can you tell me about that? • What would it take for you to feel comfortable with this decision? Once you have a grasp on how someone is feeling, you need to acknowledge their feelings Acknowledgment doesn’t have to mean agreement – it means that you are recognizing the other person’s position and empathizing with it By doing so, you show that you are sensitive to how they feel and you value their feelings You can use statements like: • I can understand why you would be upset by that • I can see that you are very uncomfortable with the decision • I know you have hesitations, and that you only want us to be successful 45 Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence Social Awareness • I hear the concern in what you are saying and I appreciate it • I haven’t experienced what you are feeling before, but I can imagine how difficult it is • Thank you for sharing that with me – I’m glad to learn how you are feeling 6.2.2 Sensitivity There is a major mistake that you can make at this point in the process, so you will want to be careful that you don’t it You never want to invalidate someone’s feelings Even if you don’t agree with the way that they feel, sensitivity requires that you acknowledge their right to feel that way You not want to destroy the relationship building that you have done by suddenly invalidating the other person’s feelings Be sure to avoid diminishing, belittling, ignoring, judging, or rejecting the other person’s feelings For example, you want to avoid saying things like: • I understand how you’re feeling, but I think you just don’t understand • I can understand how you feel that way, but you’re wrong • I appreciate what you are telling me, but I think you’re really off-base 46 Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Click on the ad to read more ... of intelligence that isn’t related to the standard cognitive intelligence – it’s called emotional intelligence This textbook will cover what emotional intelligence is, how you can discover what... of emotional intelligence is 13 Download free eBooks at bookboon.com Emotional Intelligence Overview of Emotional Intelligence The good news is that by understanding that our emotions are a natural,... eBooks at bookboon.com Click on the ad to read more Emotional Intelligence Models of Emotional Intelligence 3 Models of Emotional Intelligence 3.1 Introduction When defining emotional intelligence,