Nha xuat ban Lao dong 175 Giang V6 - Dong Da - Ha Noi Tel: (04) 3851 5380 Fax: (043) 851 5381 Website: www.nxblaodong.com.vn Cong ty Co phan Sach Thai Ha 119 C5 To Hieu - Cau Giay - Ha Noi Tel: (04) 3793 0480 Fax: (04) 6287 3238 Website: www.thaihabooks.com Chiu track nhiem xuat ban: V6 Thi Kim Thanh Bien tap vien: Thanh Diep, Hoang Trang Bien tap vien Thaihabooks: Thanh Nhan Thiet kebia: Cam Chau Trinh bay. Hoang Vi Siia bin in: Nguyen Minh Copyright © 1981 by Bonnie Runyan McCullough and Susan Walker Monson Ban quyen tieng Viet © 2013, Cong ty Co phan Sach Thai Ha Cuon sach diidc xuat ban theo hdp dong ban quyen giiiia St. Martin's Press, LLC va Cong ty Co phan Sach Thai Ha thong qua Tuttle Mori Thai Lan. Khong phan nao trong cuon sach nay duoc sao chep hoac chuyen sang bat cti dang thilc hoac phudng tien nao, du la dien tif, in an, ghi am hay bat cii he thong phuc hoi va lUu trii thong tin nao neu khong c6 sU cho phep bang van ban cua Cong ty Co phan Sach Thai Ha. Bien muc tren xuat ban pham ciia Thu'vien Quoc gia Viet Nam i McCullough, Bonnie Runyan Day tre lam viec nha: Bonnie Runyan McCullough, Susan Walker Monson ; Thuy Hiidng dich. - H. : Lao dong ; Cong ty Sach Thai Ha, 2013. - 266 tr. ; 21cm. - (Tu sach V-Parents) Ten sach tieng Anh: 401 ways to get your kids to work at home ISBN: 9786045901830 1. Giao due gia dinh 2. Day tre 3. Ki nang song 649 - dcl4 LDG0019p-CIP In 2.000 cuon, kho 14,5 x 20,5cm. In tai Cong ty Co phan In & TM Prima. So dang ki KHXB: 887-2013/CXB/03-97/LD. Quyet dinh xuat ban so: 489/QDLK-LD. In xong nop lUu chieu quy III nam 2013. tannie Runyan McCuUough - Susan Walker Monson MUC LUC Lai gidi thieu 7 Chifdng 1: DAT MUC TIEU 11 Chvjfdng 2: HIEU BIET VE CAC "MUA HOC TAP" 35 Chiidng 3: CA GIA DINH CUNG NHAU LAM VIEC 47 ChUdng 4: BANG PHAN CONG CONG VIEC 67 Chiidng 5: DAY TRE CACH LAM VIEC 99 Chufdng 6: DUA RA NHUNG PHAN HOI TICH CUC 131 Chiidng 7: KHUYEN KHICH VA PHAN THUC)NG 145 Chifdng 8: HINH PHAT HOP LY 169 Chiidng 9: TO CHLTC PHONG NGU 187 Chifdng 10: QUAN LY TIEN BAG 205 ChUdng 11: DANH GIA 227 PhulucA \ 251 PhulucB 256 PhulucC 261 Led gi&i thieu Cac ong bo ba me da khai thac diTdc "nguon lao dong" sftn CO - nhflng dxia tre - chifa? Co the nhieu ngubi se nghi: "Do dung la mot y tUdng tuyet vdi, tuy the each nay se tieu ton nhieu thdi gian hdn". Cha me c6 the lam viec tot hdn va nhanh hdn nhieu so v6i con cai. Do la y nghi rat thien can. Chung toi nghi rang tre lam viec nha la mot dieu tot vi chiing can hoc each lam viec va cha me can sU giup dd cua chung. Khi con ban t6i 18 tuoi, chiing da c6 32.234 gid dUdc cha me day do. Thdi gian hoc tap tren 16p va nghien cilu i5*frT;jFj'i: J hoan thanh chiidng trinh cii nhan tai trUdng dai hoc ton 2.100 gid, con neu con ban di hoc nghe thi chung chi can mot nufa so'thdi gian do. Vay thdi gian d nha cua tre nhieu gap 16 Ian thdi gian hoc tap d triidng dai hoc. Vay cac bac cha me muon s\i dung lUdng thdi gian ay nhii the nao? Cac con sau khi trufdng thanh se ra ddi va song tu lap! Lieu chung ta c6 chac rang chung c6 the tU giai quyet on thoa nhiing van de trong cuoc song (ma khong can cha me)? Lieu chung c6 biet lam cac cong viec nha ddn gian nhat? Lieu chung c6 the nau nhflng bfla an ddri gian nhung day du chat dinh dufdng cho ban than? Lieu chung CO the biet sip xep cho cf ngan nap, biet bao quan do 7 dung? Hay chiing c6 biet each chi tieu hdp ly, tranh dxiac nhiing khoan nd khong can thiet? Thiidng thi cac bac cha me se de tre tii xoay xd va hy vong moi chuyen se tot dep. Lieu chiing ta c6 nen de cho tre hoc nhiing ky nang do tii thilc te cuoc song hang ngay? Cuon sach nay se chia se nhiing nguyen tac, chien liidc va Idi khuyen ve each giiip tre hoan thanh viec nha. B.F. Skinner c6 the khien mot con chim bo cau mo 10.000 Ian vdi hy vong lay diidc thiic an. Tre c6 the hoc theo ngUdi Idn de gay sii chii y hoac de lay ph^n thiidng ma chiing thich. Cung gid'ng nhii bd cau, tre ludn cd'ging de nhan diidc phan thudng du cd diidc hay khong. Chiing toi se chi cho cac bac cha me each bien nhiing Idi che trach thanh nhiing cau khen ngdi de thiic day tre tich cUc lam viec nha. , , • -d , ; Trong cuon sach nay, ban se biet ky nang thich hdp cho tre d moi do tuoi. Ban se hoe each day cho tre nhiing ky nang do va dong thdi hoc each khuyen khich, ddng vien cdn ban the hien kha nang. Thiie te nhiing ngiidi xung quanh se khien tre lam viee tdt hdn cha me, nhiing cha me c6 the tao ra nhiing tinh hudng vui nhdn va hiing thii de khien tre lam viec. Nhiing cau chuyen, sd dd, trd chdi, cac med diide diia ra khien cdn ban lam viec ehd tdi khi chiing du triidng thanh va tii giac lam viec do. Neu ban dang tim kiem mot tro chdi de mang lai ket qua tiie thi, hay thii tro doan. De tre giau miidi do vat trong mot can phong, roi ban se la ngiidi doan ndi eat giau cac do vat do. De thay doi thoi quen "lam dau bo 8 do" cua con tre khi chiing c\i bay sach vd, do dCing, ao khoac va nhiing vat dung cua chiing d khdp ndi trong nha, hay doc "Kiem tra liic 8 gid" dUdc mo ta d trang 177. Neu giiidng ngu cua cdn ban luon Ion xon, hay doc ngay Chiidng 9 de danh gia lai tinh hinh va thik s\i dung bang mo ta ve phong ngu (trang 203). Nhiing phan khac cua cuon sach nay, nhii Dat muc tieu, Hieu biet ve cac giai doan hoc tap, hay Lam viec ciing nhau, diia ra nhiing nguyen ly de thiet lap mot nen tang gia dinh viing chac giiip tre tii lap hdn. Cuon sach nay giiip tap trung vao mot ke hoach hieu qua cho cha me va con cai de sxi dung 32.234 gid d nha mpt each hieu qua. Nd nhii mdt cud'n cam nang giiip ban thanh cdng trong cac linh viie ma ngiidi khac c6 the bo mac cho sii ngau nhien. Ban CO the phai thay doi mot so' hanh vi cua ban than va s4p xep lai ngoi nha de lam gifdng ehd tre. Khdng bad gid la qua mupn de hit dau, ehd dCi cdn cua ban dang d dd tudi nao, dii cac phiidng phap va hinh thiic khich le c6 the khac nhau di niia. Hay tii tin vao nhiing gi ban da lam. Viec ban quan tarn tdi cuon sach nay chiing to ban da va dang tim kiem mot so" nhiing y tiidng d day. Hay bo lai nhiing nuo'i tiec ve sai lam trong qua khii. Ban da eo ging het siie minh roi. Chiing toi khong the hiia rang con ban se lam tat ca viec nha hay tham chi tii dat ra nhiem vu cho ban than, nhufng it nhat chiing toi CO the giiip ban ren luyen con minh de khi chiing c6 nha rieng va muon giii moi thii ngan nip thi chiing biet phai lam the nao. 9 Trong mot cuoc khao sat 250 dHa tre thi 97% t\l nhan thay rang chiing nen lam viec nha. Hay day va cho tre cd hoi. Ren luyen tre lam viec la tao cd hoi de chung dUdc thUdng. Doi vdi tre, viec nay lam tang them tinh tii ton va CO cam nhan ve viec diidc sd hiJu. Chung se c6 cac ky nang can thiet cho cuoc song khi triidng thanh, thiet lap difdc mo hinh thanh cong trong tUdng lai, giup tang tinh doc lap va t\l \\ic, hoc each lam viec nhanh va hieu qua. Tre se nhan thiic ro gia tri cua do dac va biet tran trong hdn nhiJng no luc cua ngifdi khac. Cha me cung nhan difdc phan thufdng xCfng dang, do chinh la con cai se giup ho mot phan viec nha, ho se b6t cau gian va c6 nhieu thdi gian tan hiidng cuoc song hdn. Cha me cung se cam thay thanh cong hdn khi chuan hi cho con viJng biidc vao ddi, nh\i mot cau each ngon kha noi tieng: ^ < <?. = • • • ' •: :'.J w,fh sj ;-,fu'i Bat cho con mot con ca, se nudi song con horn nay Day cho con each cau ca, con se song ca ddi. ih • ' >', '1 CHl/ONGl ' Dat muc tieu • • Khi trifdng thanh, nhiJng ky nang nao diidc day ci nha ma con se dung den? Neu ban trao cho con rat nhieu tien, lieu so tien do c6 dang gia hdn nhQng ky nang cd ban ma ban trang hi cho con nhif: NhQng viec phai lam hang ngay cho du chiing c6 song den tan 103 tuoi di nQa? Neu con tre biet don dep va giQ gin nha ciia sach se, biet iQa chon thQc pham va nau an ngon, biet quan ly tien bac thi chung se tiet kiem dQdc thdi gian le ra phai danh cho cac viec nay de tap trung thdi gian vao hoc tap va lam viec hay nhQng linh vQc khac cua ddi song. . , ,., |,.,|^ 11 Annie 21 tuoi vijfa chuyen tdi Colorado vcii hy vong thdi tiet am ap ct day c6 the giup c6 chiJa benh. Khi t6i can ho mdi, c6 da mua quan ao va no tdi 6.000 do la. Cha me khuyen c6 nen mua mot chiec xe mdi, mot chiec may khau (c6 dang hoc may), mot chiec piano (hy vong mot ngay nao do c6 c6 the chdi dan) va dang ky hoc nghe thuat trong khi miic lifOng cua c6 rat thap. Annie khong biet nhieu ve dinh dudng va nau an nen silc khoe hi anh hucing nghiem trong. Co vat Ion v6i chiec ban do thanh pho'moi khi phai di dau. Co ciing thieu kinh nghiem song nen rat de bi Idi dung. Mot ngifdi ban goi dien thoai cho CO tu: nu6c ngoai, sii dung dich vu goi den de ngUdi nhan cuoc goi tra tien va noi chuyen v6i c6 hai mUdi phiit. Ban thii doan xem! Co ay khong he biet dieu nay. Nhufng van de do va ca viec bi dong trong cuoc song khien c6 thay chan nan. Con ban c6 dufdc nuoi day de trd thanh nhutng CO be nhu Annie khong? ^ Khi cha me khong dat muc tieu cho tre thi se bien chung thanh nhQng c6 cau giohg nhut Annie, khong the giup con cai dat ra muc tieu neu chinh ho cung chi c6 mot khai niem md ho ve nhiJng gi ma minh mong muon con cai dat difdc. Ban c6 the se tU hoi: "Lieu bo' me c6 quyen quyet dinh nhflng muc tieu ma con tre can phai dat t6i?" Cau tra Idi la "Co". Khi cha me diia ra dUdc nhufng chuan mvLc de tre c6 the hanh dong c6 dinh hufdng, phat trien cac ky nang, dap ling dufdc nhiing thach thilc trong cuoc ddi sau nay thi sau do quyen lua chon hufdng di cua con tre mdi c6 the thanh hien thuc. Tre thUdng chua du chin 4 12 chan de dat ra cac muc tieu ma khong c6 nhijtng chuan mUc nay. Tiec thay, chiing ta thUdng can than len ke hoach di nghi hai tuan hdn la ren luyen cho con nhiing ky nang song ddn gian. Khi da lam cha me, ban c6 rat nhieu each de chuan bi cho con tre hudc vao ddi cho du chung 2 tuoi hay 22 tuoi. Trong suot 18 nam d nha (hoac hdn the), ban va con se lam rat nhieu viec, di t6i nhieu ndi, vay tai sao khong dat muc tieu la lay nhiJng gia tri ta kinh nghiem song do roi len ke hoach cho nhQng hoat dong CO the mang lai nhieu Idi ich cho con ban nhat? Viec tre thanh thao cac ky nang se giup chiing hoan thien hinh anh ban than va ta tin, t\i do tao lap nhieu ky nang hdn cho chiing. Nhiing diia tre tii lap c6 the dilng day sau nhiing khung hoang va biidc tiep trong khi nhiing diia tre khong c6 tinh tii lap se de bi ton thUdng khi gap phai cac van de trong cuoc song. Cha me se tan hiidng thanh qua cua viec con cai tii lap: Sii nghiep lam cha me thanh cong, cong viec nha diidc con cai chia se. Viec lap ra nhiing muc tieu nay se cho phep ca cha me va con cai CO nhieu thdi gian hdn de tan hUdng nhiing dieu thii vi khac trong cuoc song. Trong mot cuoc khao sat 250 tre ve lam viec nha, c6 97% nhiing diia tre diidc hoi deu cam thay can phai giiip dd cha me viec nha. Hay nghe nhiing ly do chiing diia ra. Con cai lam viec nha bdi vi: "Cha me se khong kiet siic vi lam moi viec." "Vi con luon bay biia kh&p nha tham chi la bay ra mot niia liidng viec nha la do con gay nen. Sau nay, con se c6 13 nha rieng, vi the con can phai biet each don dep nha cijfa gon gang va biet nau an." "Biet lam viec nha se giiip chung ta de dang c6 viec lam hdn." ' -^.i',>.•• "Lam viec nha giup chiing con c6 them kinh nghiem, biet each to chiic va chuan hi cho cuoc song sau nay." "Con phai hoc each c6 trach nhiem vi neu khong thi khi Idn, chung con se trd thanh nhiing ke ludi bieng." "Chung con c6 the lam xong het viec nha roi mdi vui chdi." "Cha me chung chau ly di va me chau da phai di lam ca ngay. Vi the, me can sii giup dd cua chung chau. Chi gai chau va chau (17 va 12 tuoi) khong muoh me vtfa phai di lam vxXa phai lam viec nha." "Chau nghi dieu do se hinh thanh mot thoi quen tot khi chiing chau 16n len." "Neu giup cha me lam viec nha, ho c6 the di lam vi phai kiem tien nuoi ca nha ma." Cha me hay nam ro cac phUdng phap giup con cai biet difde viec gi can lam va nhiing each tao nen tinh tii lap cho chung. Co bay hudc ren luyen tinh tu lap cho tre va khien chung lam viec nha: ;,. j • V'} \yc 'Ml' u 7. Danh gia , ^ : 6. Khi'ch le va ket qua ' ' 5. Huang din each lam 4. Phan cong cong viec 3. Lam cung nhau 2. Hieu ve cac mua hoc tap 1. Oat ra cac muc tieu Bon bif6c dau tien tao nen mong trif6c khi ban ha6ng dan tre "lam viec". Niem vui thiic sU nfim trong viec chi day tre each hoan thanh mot viec va diia ra nhQng Idi dong vien, khich le chiing. Viec khich le can lam deu dan khi tre hoe diidc cac ky nang va tang sii tii tin. Trii6c khi day, ban e^n quyet dinh ban va tre se tien xa tdi dau. Neu ban khong quyet dinh diide muc tieu cua minh thi ban se giong eo be Alice lac vao xil sci than tien, khi con meo Cheshire hoi c6 muon "di dau". Co ay tra Idi "khong quan tam \im ve ndi se tdi", chii meo da noi r^ng "vay thi quan tam lam gi nhieu tai con diidng ma eo ebon." BAN SE DI T6I DAU? ' '^.tuw Bang Tien bo viec nha dvf6i day difdc thiet ke de giiip xae dinh nhiing gi ban mong muon con minh se hoc diidc 15 trildfc khi hxidc vao ddi. Budc dau tien la lap bang va mot td theo doi; c6 the c^t b6t hoac them vao bang cho phu hdp vcti hoan canh. Hay nh6, khong de y thi chung ta se thxjfdng quen mat each day diia nho nhiing gi ma chiing ta da day cho diia Idn hdn. Cung nhii vay, chung ta se quen day con trai lam mot vai viec nha va quen day con gai mot vai ky nang sufa chfla ddn gian, ta cii chic rang chung se gap dUdc ngiidi ban ddi c6 the giai quye't dufdc nhQng phan khiem khuyet nay. Nhifng chung toi thay ring ca be gai va be trai se dufdc Idi tii viec hoc hoi cong viec cua hai gi6i. Tre c6 khuyet tat cung nen hoc cang nhieu ky nang ma chung c6 the thanh thao dUdc cang tot. Du Bang Tien bo viec nha ve cd ban bao gom cac trach nhiem lam viec nha nhung nen Uu tien cho tre hoan thanh viec hoc tap tai triidng. Ban c6 the cung muoh them vao bang mot vai ky nang lien quan t6i viec mua ban va c6 them sU giup dd khac tii cac giao vien cho viec hoc danh may, hoc dem, svLa chQa dien va nhi3ng viec tiidng t\l. Gid hay xem qua bang sau va quye't dinh xem ban muoh con minh phat trien ky nang nae. Co rat nhieu ky nang dildc diia ra, nhifng se hieu qua hdn khi chon ba nhom ky nang trufdc, roi nghien cilu that ky va hay chon mot ky nang ma ban muon day cho con trong moi nhom ky nang do; hoac ban c6 the chon ca ba ky nang trong Cling mot nhom. Neu ban c6 nhieu con san san tuoi nhau, ban c6 the lap chung thanh mot doi, hoac c6 the day tvfng diia mot. Mot so'ky nang chi can gidi thieu, sau do se day chung thanh thuc sau. Con ban difdc lam quen 16 vdi mot ky nang khi chiing quan sat ngu:di khac thilc hien, dat cau hoi hay lam mot phan viec. Tre lam thanh thuc khi chiing t\l hoan thanh cong viec do it nhat ba Ian. Hay nhd ring Bang Tien bo viec nha chi la mot hu6ng din (khong phai la bai kiem tra) giiip ban dat muc tieu cho gia dinh. Vai muc diidc liet ke ra day c6 the khong quan trong v6i ban va ban c6 the them vao cac ky nang khac ma ban muon. Tuy y ban, hay thoai mai danh gia va tiidng tiidng. ; ; : ' 17 BANG TIEN BOVIEC NHA 1. Viet ten gpi 6 nha cua con canh ky nang ma ban muon hiJdng dan con. Co du cho cho nhieu dira tre. 2. Khi con da thanh thao mot cong viec nao do, hay dung gach cheo len ten con. Vf du: lam sach ngan tu (6-14). 3. Nhufng chQ so dUpc in sau moi ky nang dai dien cho do tuoi s6m nhat de lam quen vdi ky nang do va tuoi ma ban c6 the hi vpng tre lam thanh thuc. DT nhien, moi difa tre deu rat khac nhau va ban can linh hoat v6i tC/ng dp tuoi, xem xet kinh nghiem cua chfnh ban va nhCrng sy trp giup san c6 nhu ban be va nhCng diJa tre khac, cung nhu sU Xxi tin va trudng thanh cua con ban. 4. Sir dung mot bang tuong tU cho ca be gai Ian be trai vi chung ta khong the chac chan ky nang nao la can thiet chi cho con gai hoac con trai. Vfdu: Phillis va con gai cua c6 (10 tuoi) cung xem Bang Tien bp viec nha va chpn mot ky nang Xxi ba nhom ky nang khac nhau. Nhom ky nang Ky nang sir dung tien Nauan Oinh htfdng va di chuyen Kynang ^ Lap mot tai khoan kiem tra Chpn va chuan bi trai cay tuoi va rau xanh Don xe buyt Bang each iua chpn ba ky nang de hpc tap va phat then, tre se khong bi qua tai, va c6 the dat dupc muc tieu rat nhanh. d cuoi chupng nay, chung toi se giai thfch Ba yeu to giang day de giup ban ve each dat dupe muc tieu. 18 Nhufng ky nang cham soc ca nhan ' Mang do ngu ra khu vile giat la (2-4) Don dep do chdi (2-6) Txl thay quan ao (2-4) Chaidau(2-5) Rika mat, ma tay (2-5) Danh rang (2-5) Don dep phong ngu (2-8) Mac quan ao (3-6) Chuan bi giildng ngu (3-7) Lam sach, cM mong tay, mong chan (5-10) Don dep phong tim sau khi svL dung (6-10) Goi dau va say toe (7-10) chai dau (10-16) Mua do dung ca nhan (11-18) Nhflng ky nang bao quan quan ao Lam sach tiii dvfng do giat (trong may giat), de quan ao ban vac ndi quy dinh (4-8) Cat quan ao sach (5-9) ,: ,: ; , Don tu dtfng do (6-14) , ,,, , Don nha ve sinh ca nhan (6-16) Gap, chia do sach da giat (8-16) . , Phdi quan ao ra nang (8-16) Gap quan ao gon gang, khong de bi nhan (8-16) 19 Tij( danh giay (8-18) , , Giat quan ao bang may giat (9-16) Diang may say quan ao (9-16) "''"^ Lam sach ch6 dung sd vai va thiet bi loc trong may giat (10-16) ^Tu mua quan ao (11-18) Lam sach ddn gian cac vet o nhif mau, dau, ca phe, tra, soda (12-18) Giat giay vai/giay mua dong (12-18) _La quan ao (12-18) • ' - ., .Giat do lot, do lua hay len hhng tay (12-18) ^Ddm khuy ao, quan (12-17) Sap xep qu^n ao theo mau, quin ao ban, loai vai (8-18) Dua quan ao vao may lam sach (doi v6i ao quan chuyen giat kho) . ,,, Khau va ddn gian (12-18) Nhfing ky nang trong gia dinh Lau sach ban an (2-5) ' Lau sach neu bi rdt do uong, chat long (3-10) Lam sach cac vat dung (3-12) Bay ban an (3-7) Don ban an (3-13) .Don sach rac trong vxxbn (4-10) Rii tham nho (4-8) . • 20 Lam sach vet ban tren tiidng (4-12) Lau sach cac canh c^a (4-12) Lau sach man hinh ti-vi va gUdng (4-8) Cho vat nuoi trong nha an (5-10) Lam sach nha ve sinh (5-8) Co bon rxia mat va voi tim (5-12) Do rac (4-10) Lam sach hien nha, hanh lang, 161 di (4-10) Lam sach va lau cac ghe ngoi trong nha (6-11) Nhan biet siJt khac nhau va each sii dung cac loai may hut bui trong nha (6-14) Sii dung may riia bat (6-12) Riia va lau kho bat dia (6-12) Lam sach lutdc va cac loai ban chai (6-8) Co nha tim (6-12) Lau san nha (6-13) Su dung may hut bui (7-12) Lam sach cho d cua vat nuoi trong nha (cho, meo ) va bat an cua chung (7-13) XiJt ly cac manh giay ghi tin nhan dien thoai (7-12) Dung choi va hot rac (8-12) Hut bui cac ghe hoc va ga (8-14) Txidi cac loai cay trong trong nha (8-14) Tu6i CO (tham c6) (8-14) Biet gap chan gon gang (8-14) 21