BEING YOUR OWN PARTNER 141 A PPRECIATE YOUR OWN LEARNING STYLES Since you’re working alone, you only have your own learning styles to consider. This presents a good opportunity for you to make sure you’re using methods of studying that are suitable for the way you learn. Be aware of what works best for you and make changes if necessary. (You may want to review Chapters 2 through 5 on learning styles.) START WITH THE POSITIVE Begin a session by asking yourself what you liked about what you read, wrote, saw, or heard. Starting out with something you enjoy and feel comfortable with will give you a sense of accomplishment as you say to yourself, “I know that!” Then you can face the more challenging material with a good attitude. U SE SENSITIVE TALK Remember, you’re your partner now. Keep being sensitive to your feelings! Use the magic word “I” even when talking to yourself. When you begin statements with, “I like . . .” and “I feel . . . ” you’re assuming responsibility for your opinions and feelings, and you’re respecting yourself. As you read the next part of this chapter, talk to yourself using sen- sitive talk. Pretend you’re talking to your partner. Begin by saying,“What I’ve gotten out of this lesson so far is . . . ,” adding whatever comes to mind. Continue with, “This makes me think of . . .” and keep talking until you have a good understanding of the lesson. R ESPECT YOURSELF Be nice to yourself as you push ahead. Studying the material so that it makes sense to you is hard work! Acknowledge your challenges. One of the comforts of a buddy is that you have someone who knows what you’re going through, someone who’s listening to you talk about your hard day and who is also talking about his day. Play both roles yourself. Try It! HOW TO STUDY 142 Jill tells herself something like,“I know you’ve had a hard day. I wish you could take the day off tomorrow; you’ll look into arranging for that soon, if you can. In the meantime, is there some way you can treat your- self, maybe take a short walk or look through a magazine, before you set- tle down to study?” Don’t criticize yourself! Instead, ask yourself: • What else do I need to know to make a clear picture in my head? • What else do I need to know so the order of events will make sense? I N SHORT Whether you act like your partner or pretend your buddy is next to you, you need to acknowledge how you’re feeling and the challenges before you. Then you’re ready to study. Talking to yourself before, during, and after studying helps you ask questions and make connections. This in turn helps you to better understand and remember what you’ve studied. Keep your thoughts in a notebook or tape recorder, so that you can go over and add to them each study session. 1. 2. 3. BEING YOUR OWN PARTNER 143 Practice Tips Talking to yourself while studying, and pretending you’ve got an invisible buddy, may seem a bit odd to you at first! To get used to the idea and become good at it, practice before you start your study sessions. When you’re by yourself—in the shower, in the car, walking to work or school—begin a conversation with yourself. To make it seem more real, pretend you’re with a classmate. Try out questions like: • So, how was class yesterday? • What did you find most interesting? Puzzling? • When is your next study session? • What do you think you’ll need to spend the most time on during that session? No one’s around, so you can speak freely and pretend you’re talking to anyone you want. Relax, and realize that you’re doing it for a specific reason: to learn! . the right names, and Tame- ka has a problem when answer choices are very similar. What Tim needs to do is learn to associate names with meanings, and Tame- ka needs to come up with an answer before. of studying that are suitable for the way you learn. Be aware of what works best for you and make changes if necessary. (You may want to review Chapters 2 through 5 on learning styles.) START WITH. own. I have trouble with names!” Tameka said, “What about me? I get confused when I see a bunch of answers that are similar to each other and I have to choose the one that’s right. I say to myself,