A.A.? No Way! Alternatives to the status quo programs that fail Charles Delaney pot

A.A.? No Way! (Alternatives to the status quo programs that fail) Charles Delaney Copyright 2012 by Charles Delaney Smashwords Edition Prologue Alright, I'm sure someone will take exception to my negative view of A.A. and it's clones, such as NA/CA/EA/SA/etc. But let me say I see nothing at all wrong with the idea of it. However the application is one of the most horrid ones I've ever seen. Any contact I've had with A.A.'s have been almost exclusively negative. As a group A.A.'s are closed minded and willfully ignorant because the organization has a classic cult mentality. My first serious contact with the organization was when I went seeking information on addiction. Now, years later, I'm still waiting for them to produce some. They'd rather think holding hands while chanting the Barney Song and grabbing their ankles for Jesus is the cure for their woes. As such I went seeking the information elsewhere. What I found was at odds with the organization's 19 th century imaginings, mainly because it was based in 21 st century research. When I brought this information back to the organization the reactions of the A.A. members were negative. The information was disregarded and I was censored, screamed at, even threatened verbally and physically. As such I tried to bring this information to folks independently. Unfortunately, being a lone person, I couldn't reach far enough or to enough folks that it might benefit. So I'm trying this e-book in the hopes it'll reach more folks than I could otherwise. What follows is the distillation of my research as well as personal observations. Am I an expert on the topic? Anything but! I'm just an ordinary cuss that cannot sit idly by when there might be the chance to help someone. Especially when the alternative is causing more harm than good. A.A. has a 95% failure rate while other programs, such as Rational Recovery, can have a far higher percentage. Even going it completely alone grants a success rate twice that of A.A. Yes, the group cuts one's chances in half. That's called harming people and I cannot abide with that without trying to offset it if I can! You'll notice this is also free. I see no reason to profit in any way on someone's misery. Take this information and see if it fits for your situation. If it does, use it. If not, it's cost you nothing. If you disagree with any of this I invite you to do the research to refute that. If there's an error that I've missed I want to know about it so I can correct it! Feel free to contact me at falsdoon@yahoo.com for anything relating to this topic. Now get to reading the rest of this and see if it can help someone. Table of Contents Why People Drop Out 2 nd Opinion Recovery Pamphlet Satori Sobriety AAsimilation Pagan View of the 12 Steps Theologian Commentaries on the 12 Steps Asatruar 9-Steps The Solitary's Steps A.Q. A.Q. II Of the “Rational Recovery” program * * * * * * * Harvard University: Why People Drop Out of AA According to AA's 1989 Triennial Membership Survey 5% of newcomers continue past the first year, 50% drop out within 30 days. Here is why: ABSTRACT: (1992) Ceane Willis, Ph.D., and David Gastfriend, M.D., "Alternatives in Self-Help: Reasons for Discontinuation of AA by Problem Drinkers," Harvard Medical School at Massachusetts General Hospital) analysis of 223 questionnaires submitted by readers of a Rational Recovery book, The Small Book. 89% were abstinent, 89% were AA dropouts for the following reasons: religious content (51%), were unhelped (18%), social conflict (16%), powerlessness idea (12%), lifelong dependency on AA (19%), mistreated in the program (7%), depressing (15%). 39% held mainstream religious beliefs. This was probably the first serious inquiry into the recidivism that characterizes the recovery group movement. The group typically interprets rejection of the 12-step program as symptoms of addictive disease, i.e., "in denial," "just want's to drink some more," "angry," "dry drunk," "constitutionally incapable," "a poor unfortunate," or explained away with, "Some are sicker than others." When people leave AA, as the large majority do, it is with the grim prediction that they will inevitably drink self-destructively and disintegrate. The thousands who call Rational Recovery, however, do not present the lack of motivation or other pathology attributed by the recovery group. Indeed, when they got fed up and left AA, they continued seeking a solution to the problem by contacting RR. Very significantly, they were not on a downward trajectory, but upward bound. In this limited study of self-selected respondents, 89% were abstinent. Coupled with the fact that 95% of AA newcomers drop out within one year, 50% within 30 days, we can see that the prospects for recovery are greatly improved by dissociating from addiction recovery groups and accepting personal responsibility for permanent abstinence. Whatever positive outcomes the recovery group movement reports, they are dwarfed by the success of individuals who recover on their own. The 95% first-year dropout rate is bothersome to many who doubt that such figures exist. Alas, they were obtained from AA's 1989 Triennial Membership Survey. The 1996 TMS flyer, however, makes no mention of membership attrition. Interestingly, the only requirement for membership in AA is set forth, " the desire to stop drinking." While the desire to stop is very important, the desire to quit seems more suited to the vexing problem of alcohol or drug addiction. Anyone can stop, but stop signs rarely result in the end of a journey. * * * * * * * 2nd Opinion Recovery Let's get right to the point. If you're one of the 5% that AA and it's clones (NA, CA, SA, etc.) helps, put this down and leave it for one of the 95% that those programs have failed. If you're one of those 95% and are still struggling with your particular problem, give a listen. What's there to lose but the time reading this? The basic idea of those programs are the best of ideas. Unfortunately they're put to the worst of applications. Standard "AA based" recovery programs set most people up for failure for several big reasons. One is the basic lie that it's a "spiritual program" when it's really a christian religious program that uses christian prayers, terms, and philosophy. That philosophy encourages a feeling of "powerlessness" and removing personal responsibility (because you need God to cure all your ills). That way when the person relapses it's because they're not responsible, they were "powerless" over their problem. That's a basic negative self imagery that any first year psych student would recognize and know fosters failure. Compound that with a program that rejects 21st century research findings in favor of intuitive imaginings that are 7+ decades out of date. Finally, the programs foster a "cower in the corner" mindset of constantly going to meetings, where these negatives are reinforced, rather than learning the tools and habits that could bring things under control. So what's 2nd Opinion? Just that, a 2nd opinion. It's not a program, rather it's a place to find information and maybe some ideas that might work for someone struggling with their particular problem. Part research findings, so the person has real information to work with. Such as proven basic behavior modification techniques anyone can do. Part morality/philosophy, for such things CAN help some people as they work their way through to a solution. And, finally, part community, for so many problems start with someone feeling left out and trying to fill that emptiness. Also, community lets you know that you are not alone in this! Although this is being brought to the pagan community primarily, this is for EVERYONE in need with no restrictions. It's not a “spiritual program” like the rest, no one will preach at you. It's for everyone that's been to a standard AA style meeting and thought it a pile of BS. It's for everyone that's still looking for well a 2nd opinion! One more thing, there's no failures. There is only the failure to try. To try a 2nd opinion, start with below: falsdoon@yahoo.com * * * * * * * AA - Satori Sobriety First, a quick FYI so all understand the term "satori". It's a zen term that refers to the "flash insight" that's a primary goal of the practitioner of that path. It's where logic fails and the mind makes an intuitive leap to solve the puzzle faced with. The term is used very purposely here because AA does the same thing with sobriety. Unfortunately "satori" almost always requires being in an extreme mental state to attain, even then success is not a sure bet by any means. Such can explain why all speakers at an AA meeting are only extreme "crash and burn" cases rather than the average person with a drinking problem who relapses 90+% of the time because there's less relevance for them. This is not to say AA is a bad thing, it's not. But it is insufficient for many when it doesn't have to be. Part of that insufficiency is that it's still using concepts that are 70 years old and do not take into account new information that has surfaced. The intuitive approach of the past covered the basic problem without really knowing why. Without knowing the "why" it's a lot harder to solve the "why nots", if not impossible. Modern research is starting to uncover the reason for the "whys" and, far more importantly, the why of the "why nots". This information could be used to augment AA's effectiveness tremendously so many more could be helped. Examples? I thought you'd never ask In AA's "Big Book", the venerable boozer's bible, it cites that good intent isn't enough. It cites examples of people who had the fullest and truest intent to stop drinking, then turned right around for no apparent reason and got totally trashed. Well, there is a reason. But the intuitive "satori" method can't do it. It took modern research and even MRI brain scans to start to shed light on such things. There's several things that happen which sets the wrong behavior in motion. The first is the triggering stimuli, such as a visual image, happens very quickly. It's measured in milliseconds and under the level of conscious awareness. This means the person doesn't even know things have begun. The next thing is that the triggering stimuli reaches the more primitive part of the brain that functions instinctively and much faster than the part of the brain that deals with conscious decision making. If something triggers the instinctual part of the brain things can be off and running before the conscious part of the brain has a chance to put the brakes on. Guess what happens in addictive personalities? Yep, the addictive substances have overridden the instinctual part of the brain, sometimes being 5 times stronger than what the brain is was meant to respond to, such as food, danger, sex, etc. So when the trigger come along the instincts kick in and off the person goes on the wrong road. It also explains the extreme, and often "insane", behaviors an addict will have to make sure their need for the drug is met. Without something to break this cycle, once established, the only hope for some will be the "satori sobriety" intuitive way. Fortunately modern research is also starting to provide answers to this dilemma. There are some drugs that have been found that are able to suppress the the runaway activity of the instinctual part of the brain, allowing the cognitive brain a chance to get it's say in what's going on. Drugs of this type, teamed with behavior modification techniques, can let a person change their lives around for the better. Best of all is that the sooner a person gets into such a program the easier and better the recovery will be. There's no reason to wait for the "satori sobriety" with all the misery and bother that comes from that path. AA could play a major role in such a regime because it is a large established support group based on the idea of not drinking. By it's very existence it's a behavior modification program and a place one can learn the new habits needed to bring things under control. Who know? Perhaps if something like this gets instituted someday the normal speaker at an AA meeting will start with "I'm John Doe, and I'm just an ordinary cuss " * * * * * * * AAssimilation Ever wonder why people in AA, or any other recovery program for that matter, all being clones of AA, all sound alike? They say the same things in the same way over and over like a broken record. Like someone in a cult. Well, AA is decidedly cult-like, but that's a different discussion. The question here is "why?". What's going on that causes this? At first I personally was at a loss to discover the reason. That was until I came across an article in Discovery magazine that was covering some of the latest research findings that deal with the brain and memory. It seems there's a very interesting process that goes on in the brain that AA inadvertently uses. It may be considered a form of brain-washing, if you want to call it that, but it would be more accurate to it being a re-writing of the brain's memories. When it comes to memories being stored in the brain, they tend to be very durable. Short of some notable physical damage a person's memories aren't going anywhere for the whole of their lives. As long as they remain stored. That's the catch, a memory that's called up from storage is no longer in it's stable storage. Just like a computer, the brain can call up a file (memory) for updating. When it does that the memory is no longer stable, it can be re-written updated and then gets put back into stable storage. It's during that unstable time that, done correctly, a memory can be completely re-written to bear no relation to the original memory and the brain will treat it as if it was the original memory. It will be real to the brain. THAT is what's happening in A.A.! If you go to an AA meeting where someone is doing a "lead", telling their tale of woe and redemption, the people listening are calling up their own similar memories and identifying with the speaker. In the process they're also calling up their memories into that unstable update mode and re-writing them with components from the speaker's tale. As this goes on continuously in AA, the constant repetition leads to a group consensus to the "reality" of things. AA's become carbon copies of each other. Anyone not showing the proper mindset is treated like any other outsider to a group structure negatively until such time as the errant person can be brought into line with the group-mind's view of things. That's why new people are required to attend meeting after meeting until they are sufficiently re-programmed. Those that are resistant to this process, for whatever reason, are considered combative or in denial. Since few that come into the program have sufficiently strong senses of self, having twisted themselves up through substance abuse, some will eventually submit. Though the more likely result, rejecting the brain re-write due to finding the whole static group-mind as moronic, is what happens +90% of the time. Many unfortunately go back to abusing, for they have not been given an adequate alternative. What of those that have the lone wolf's strong sense of self? That is a truly interesting situation. Assuming the person is sincere in finding something that helps them control their problem, and finding the group-mind too limited in scope, thus ineffective, they will look outside the box that is the group-mind. Unfortunately the AA confronted with such a person is not equipt to deal with this dynamic situation and will listen to the group-mind's static decree for such, that the person is combative/in denial because they will not accept the group-mind. Were AA a proper religion instead of a "spiritual program" the eventual result would be similar to Catholicism's (another static group-mind) excommunication. Ejection from meetings, even threats of physical violence, have been the result for those that have blasphemed by speaking beyond the accepted script of the group-mind. Is there a solution to this? Probably not. The debate between the One and the Many has been going on since our species came down from the trees, if not before (and likely it was some “maniac/heretic” that first dropped out of the branches). Any individual that steps off the accepted straight and narrow is going to be ostracized by the group, and because most people prefer the comfort zone and safety of a group and will submit and not stray from it. But every innovation has come from that “insane” person that wandered away and said "Gee, I wonder what's over there?" As mentioned earlier, likely we came down from the trees due to a similar looney. So the One then serves the Many, whether either likes it or not. * * * * * * * Pagans and the 12 steps If you have a problem getting help/helped can be a tricky thing even when all things line up well. It gets harder when the problem, in this case drinking, is compounded with differences. The primary stumbling block here in this case is being a pagan and the most widely accepted program, AA, is decidedly christian. The problem goes deeper than terms, trapping, and how differing faiths do the Hokey Pokey during a service. There are intrinsic differences that, if not accounted for, can magnify other points of difference and increase the chance of failure. So what to do? Sometimes the best way to learn is to open mouth and insert foot. It brings misconceptions quickly to light and, if it turns out instead to be a valid point, it can be made quickly as well. In either case learning happens. So let me polish up my size 11 so it slides in easier: "But AA isn't christian!" Oh really? Maybe not in direct intent, but it is in direct default. The one founder of AA was connected with the christian fundamentalist Oxford Group. Meetings begin with the christian Serenity Prayer. Meetings end with the christian Lord's Prayer. When a specific term is used for the "higher power" it's the christian "God". Not "Allah", "Yahweh", "Elvis", or "Micheal Jackson". It's the very christian term for the Big-Dude-Up-There. I've known Christians who have left AA because they got sick of the religion getting shoved down their throats. Thus I rest my case on this matter and await a 2nd opinion, knowing that not all groups are created equal and thus some will be truly ecumenical. The religious default shows up again in the 12 Steps, which are decidedly christian in philosophy. As such this might chafe for a Jew, or Muslim, even though their faiths sprung from the same monotheistic sources as Christians. So how much greater is the gap going to be for a follower of the older polytheistic faiths of wicca ("witchcraft"), asatru (norse), and, in my case, the Celtic pantheon. Not all require the same level or type of submission from their followers as does Christianity. And pagans, who have been persecuted for centuries by various christian sects, are a bit more sensitive about entering into anything seen as being in that faith's backyard. Thus the message and potential benefits of AA can get lost in the dogmatic defaults. Examples? Okay. Slowly we'll turn, Step by Step 1) We admit we're powerless over alcohol BUNK!!! That might cut it for a christian , where it's taught one can't get into Heaven without help from the Big Dude. But, if one is truly powerless, then there is no choice, chance, or hope for the person. They're doomed before they even get started, so they may as well make advanced reservations for their gutter down on Skid Row now and avoid the rush. In contrast my path says I'm anything but powerless. I may be completely over my head and totally outgunned, but I still have the power of choice, even if I don't use it. 2) Come to believe in a higher power that could restore us to sanity. I suppose this is a bigger deal to a Christian, who's god tends to be viewed as being off somewhere far away. For pagans this is less of a step, almost a redundancy. That's because the average pagan already has a close working relationship with the Powers they follow. And working closely with said Powers certainly let's one know what They are capable of doing. 3) Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of Big Dude Again, acceptable to a christian mindset. Grab the ankles for The Big Dude. But other paths can prefer followers to retain a spine. Thus it is with the Goddess I serve. That "Aulde Bytche" has no use for weaklings or suck ups. So I know what would happen if I approached Her with the "I'm weak, hopeless, helpless, and need Your aid!" routine. I'll get snatched up by the scruff and told in no uncertain terms I better get to what I can do, or She'll put a boot up to the hip in my butt! And that's okay because the Powers run things and we're just hick mortals. But that doesn't let us off the hook. Even hick mortals have their part to play if things are to work out right in this world. 4) Made a searching, fearless moral inventory of ourselves. A once a week suck up and counting a few beads just doesn't cut it for a lot of pagans. Not when we're taught that all things are interwoven 24/7's. Also any of us that have directly dealt with the Powers learned real fast just where we stand. So we have to take a hard and humbling look at ourselves? Been there, done that. It's still not an easy or pleasant process, but then morality isn't a casual thing for those that have it. 5) Admit to Big Dude/ourselves/another our wrongs. There is considerable value to this step. A process used for millennia to ease the moral burden and clear the way to start anew. So why then half-step and make the admission to a stranger, such as a priest, you'll not have to deal with again? It let's one off the hook and lessens the potential benefits. If you're that worries about how someone will react, don't even bother with this. So who have I admitted to? A person who would normally rarely want to see one's feet of clay. My daughter. I'm not allowed the luxury of half-steps. 6) Entirely ready to have Big Dude remove these defects. 7) Humbly ask Big Dude to remove our shortcomings. These two are lumped together because equally ridiculous for the same reasons. Who wouldn't want Mommy to kiss it and make it better?! Or have someone wave the magic wand, say the magic word, and presto chango we're okay?! Or pop the miracle pill of the day and cure all our woes?! (Viva Viagra!) That again is the christian "we're hopeless and need Big Dude to save our butts" mindset. And isn't such a bailout just one more enabling behavior that helped get us in the sling in the first place? Pagans know the Powers didn't get us in this mess, so shouldn't expect a bailout that would cheat us of our moral responsibility. They'll help ease the path, maybe, but we must walk though that tempering fire ourselves or we'll learn nothing of true worth. 8) Make a list of the people we have harmed Redundant. How can one truly do Step 4 and not do this?! 9) Make direct amends wherever possible To my Celtic ancestors one's place in society was defined by their actions. To act dishonorably or immorally within one's place and responsibilities was to risk dire consequences from all. To be dishonored was worse than death, one ceased to ever have been. Thus any wrong has to be corrected. The dane-geld, or honor-price, must be paid. It'd be so much easier to balance the books at death like Christians sometimes do. [...]... on the pagan path There's no reason to evangelize either It doesn't work with pagans anyway since we're more a confederation than anything else in our interactions If our example appeals to another, we share our knowledge freely Otherwise we leave others to pursue their own paths They might have something to teach us in doing so * * * * * * * Theologian Commentaries Anyone that knows me knows I'm not... else, but they ARE using a greater percentage of their brain's potential than the average person Very likely this is due to the drive to fulfill their addictive cravings This might be the most intriguing of all the possibilities cited Because it means there's a chance to find a way to unlock more of our potential, if there's a way to figure out how to do it without being addicted to something All the above... find there 4) Admit to the Gods, to another human being, and to ourselves the exact nature of our wrong choices Noble Virtue: FIDELITY Holding honesty as my honor, I stand before the Gods, my ancestors, and a trusted companion, and lay forth the poison I found within 5) Ask the Gods to help us change our destructive behavior Noble Virtue: INDUSTRIOUSNESS Having awakened to who I have been, I choose to. .. addiction, I continue to live with meaning, as genuinely as I can, day to day, always remembering that wisdom not lived is a sword not drawn 9) With the spiritual awakening as a result of the steps, we try to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs Noble Virtue: SELF-RELIANCE Having awoken to the rich heritage of the Gods of my ancestors, and my own constructive... than the average sot anyway There's a joke that' s related to the above, sort of, that propounds that drinking actually makes you smarter, in the same way a predator improves the total heath of a herd by killing off the weak/sick members Less accurate, to be sure, but far more entertaining Now, if indeed there's a link between higher IQ's and things like alcoholism, it begs the question "Why?" The simplest... decision to align ourselves with the Gods and to contribute constructively to the Tapestry of Wyrd Noble Virtue: COURAGE I call out to the Gods for need-fire, and wisdom, to overcome that which is destroying me 3) Inventory our behavior patterns in a searching and fearless way Noble Virtue: HONOR Guided by the might and main of the Gods, I drink deep from the well of my deeds, and take responsibility for that. .. Any of these reasons are enough to make the intelligent/creative/motivated person to say "Nope, I'm trying something that works." * * * * * * * Of the "Rational Recovery" Program Given a choice between AA and the Rational Recovery program it's a no brainer which to go with, RR That' s because it's based in valid science and not something better suited to the Victorian Darwin trials Science one then,... in yourself because you just earned it Now don't think it's going to be all peaches and cream, you ARE going to have to put an effort out to succeed But after that first step it gets easier because you've overcome the mental inertia Remember the only failure is the failure to try Give it a try, what's there to lose? Worse case, you fail to try, and so go back to depressing AA and/or become a nice little... effort at all The choices are ever yours, no matter what someone else says to the contrary Another very good source to tap is the book "Psycho-Cybernetics" First published in the 1960's it might be the only self help book that lives up to the name Like behavior modification the basic idea is simple The brain is an organic computer and has all the needed sub-routines already built in to accomplish whatever...10) Continue to take personal inventory, when we were wrong promptly admit to it Even if you got Step 4 100% right the first time, that was then This is now The cycles of the world continue to turn with no two seasons being exactly alike There is no happy ever after and there's always something new to be done 11) Sought through prayer/meditation to improve our conscious contact . A. A .? No Way! (Alternatives to the status quo programs that fail) Charles Delaney Copyright 2012 by Charles Delaney Smashwords Edition Prologue Alright, I'm sure someone will take exception. average sot anyway. There's a joke that& apos;s related to the above, sort of, that propounds that drinking actually makes you smarter, in the same way a predator improves the total heath. and to practice these principles in our daily affairs. Another variance and near redundancy since belief, morality, and action are interwoven on the pagan path. There's no reason to evangelize