[...]... our particular personalities, whether or not others are around to offer us support, and the nature of the relationship we shared with the deceased Anticipated or Unanticipated Death Often the cause of death determines much of our initial reactions For example, if your loved one passes away after a long battle with cancer, the death is classified as an anticipated death, which means that you knew that... how much I missed her.” Introduction Trauma Dreams The most disturbing grief dream is the trauma dream Less common than the other types of grief dreams, the trauma dream often comes in the form of a flashback, especially in early grief and particularly in cases of traumatic deaths, such as murders, suicides, and accidents Many times, the dreamer feels powerless and afraid, as in the following trauma... helpful to recognize that most grief dreams fall into four rather broad categories: • The visitation dream • The message dream • The reassurance dream • The trauma dream Of course, not all grief dreams fit into these specific categories For example, some grief dreams may have elements of more than Introduction one dream type—such as a dream that is both a message dream and a reassurance dream For clarity... the healing powers of our dreams It’s clear that most grieving people find deep meaning and consolation in their dreams of deceased loved ones In fact, most mourners hope and pray for such dreams DREAMS CAN HEAL Because grief dreams are a fairly universal phenomenon among the bereaved, they offer the opportunity, when affirmed as important and properly understood, for healing Take the following, for example... doctor had made a mistake “Are you sure it was my grandmother?” she asked, suspiciously “Perhaps you have the wrong woman My grandmother wasn’t that sick!” When Michael’s mother told him of the auto accident that claimed his father’s life, Michael immediately created a false scenario of events in his head: his father’s car and wallet were stolen by a crazed carjacker who then crashed his father’s car Dad... warning from the deceased For example, your deceased cousin may appear in a dream and warn you to take better care of your health, or your father may appear in a dream to remind you not to work so hard Message dreams are usually brief and overt Sometimes the message is intended for someone other than the dreamer, as in the following: I had this dream about three months after my grandmother died In the. .. moreover, can serve as gentle reminders that our loved one is still part of our life And these dreams can help us in the painful adjustment process that is part of every grief journey Finally, grief dreams allow us to transcend the limits of space and time and to have what every grieving person desires most: just one more visit TYPES OF GRIEF DREAMS In attempting to understand the nature of grief dreams, ... of David Grief dreams allow us to reconnect with our deceased loved ones, to return to that place where nothing has changed a place where our loved one is still alive a place where grief does not exist In one incredible, magical moment, the chasm of death and despair evaporate, and we are given a few precious moments with our beloved And herein lies the amazing power of the grief dream Grief dreams, ... write about my uncle, to remember him.” HOW TO READ THIS BOOK Grief Dreams is arranged in a logical, easy-to-read fashion, with the four categories of grief dreams forming the core of the book In these core chapters (Chapters Three through Six), a variety of grief dreams are presented—actual dreams from grieving people, just like you Dream symbols and other important features of each dream are discussed... some of the reactions outlined in the various models, grief is a highly individual process Indeed your personal journey of grief is as unique as you are Still, words like models, stages, phases, symptoms, and reactions are important because they provide a language, a way of speaking about grief as a process In reviewing the various grief theories, and in our many conversations with the bereaved, we have . 4 Trauma Dreams The most disturbing grief dream is the trauma dream. Less common than the other types of grief dreams, the trauma dream often comes in the form of a flashback, especially in early. For example, your deceased cousin may appear in a dream and warn you to take better care of your health, or your father may appear in a dream to remind you not to work so hard. Message dreams are usu- ally. 12/20/04 9:55 AM Page iv Grief Dreams How They Help Heal Us After the Death of a Loved One ffirs.qxd 12/20/04 9:55 AM Page v Copyright © 2005 by T. J. Wray and Ann Back Price. All rights reserved. Published