FINDING A GROWN-UP FAITH FIVE STEPS TO A FAITH THAT WORKS

FINDING A GROWN-UP FAITH: FIVE STEPS TO A FAITH THAT WORKS Rev Elder Nancy Wilson Originally Developed for Church of the Trinity MCC, Sarasota, FL, USA February/March 2005 Copyright © 2005 UFMCC Table of Contents Step One - Asking the Right Questions Step Two - Deepening Your Faith Step Three - Jesus and Faith 11 Step Four - Practicing Faith: Faith in Action 16 Step Five – Sharing Faith 20 Leader’s Guide 26 Copyright © 2005 UFMCC Step One - Asking the Right Questions Have you ever noticed how many questions children ask? They that because they need to, because so much is new to them, and strange, and unfamiliar And because children are naturally curious! A healthy environment is one that encourages children and adults to ask critical and important questions Some of us grew up in healthy environments, in church or at home that encouraged our questions, some of us did not Most of us experienced mixed messages, knowing perhaps, that there were some questions we just should not ask! Talking Point  Remember when you were a young person and you would ask for anything you wanted! It was okay to ask Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy for things and believe you would receive your wish Share an experience you had based on this "belief" _ _ The trouble is, as adults we are expected to have all the answers Or as we grow up, we are expected to suppress our questioning, to be content with the same, old, sometimes “pat,” answers To have a healthy faith is to have the freedom and encouragement to ask questions, some of which may have easy answers, some of which may not Rev Troy Perry, the Founder of MCC would say, “ I never want to belong to a church where I cannot ask a question, even if, to some people, it seems like a stupid question.” Troy grew up in a religious environment that discouraged questioning church doctrines, teachings, practices or leaders In MCC, we treasure our freedom and our diversity We can question our church leaders, locally and denomination-wide Hopefully, we can disagree with them without being ostracized or kicked out of the church We can tolerate a wide range of views, and yet still feel strongly about our own opinions We can change our minds, we can grow spiritually Talking Point  Share with the group a belief or question you had that was "different" from that of your previous church/faith experience  Is the Metropolitan Community Church ideal of freedom and diversity true of your experience? And, how does this impact your spiritual growth? Copyright © 2005 UFMCC Did you know that the Bible is full of questions? Some of these questions have answers, some allude to answers, some are rhetorical Here is a list to jog your memory:  “God has shown you, O human, what is good: and what does the Lord require of you?” (Micah 6: 8)  “What must I to be saved?” (Acts 16:30)  “Am I my brother’s keeper? (Genesis 4:9)  “What mean these stones?” (Joshua 4:6)  “When did we see you hungry, thirsty, naked, sick or in prison?” (Matthew 25:37)  “Is there balm in Gilead to make the wounded whole?” (Jer 8:22)  “Woman, why are you weeping?” (John 20:15)  “Who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29)  “Are you the One, or should we look for another?” (Matthew 11:3)  “Which is the greatest commandment?” (Matthew 22:36)  “Which of these three, you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” (Luke 10:36)  “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 9:4)  “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Ps 22/Mark 15:34)  “Who you say that I am?” (Mark 8:27)  “Who shall I say sent me (to Pharaoh)?” (Exodus 3:13 8)  “What can separate us from the love of God?” (Romans 8:35)  “Who told you that you were naked?” (Gen 3:11)  “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31) Some of these questions are asked by God, by prophets, or by ordinary people Talking Point  Considering these thoughts from the Bible, share with the group: Which of these biblical questions touches you? Why? _ _ People of faith are people who are asked questions and who ask them What on earth am I here for? Who is God to me today? What difference does it make to have relationship with God? If you love someone, you are curious about them You want to know more about them, what they think, feel, who they are, what their plans are, their hopes and dreams, their fears and their values To be in a relationship with anyone, is to participate in a long conversation The conversation has interruptions, for sure, but it continues to ask and answer questions To love someone is to also appreciate that ultimately, the other is mysterious, and not completely knowable We can know someone for a very long, time, very intimately, but we can never Copyright © 2005 UFMCC exhaust what there is to know about them Every one has a core of “unknowability.” The same is true, perhaps even more so, with God We can never know all there is to know about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit or our faith We can simply be willing to continue to ask questions, learn and grow closer God is the One who is Beyond us, Beside us and Within us Some of the questions we may have about God are, “Who are you, really?” What is God’s nature, and how we know who God really is? The Bible says a lot of things about God, from a lot of different perspectives From a Christian point of view, it really does boil down to a few, simple things God is love God’s nature is love, and God’s purpose for us is to be in a loving relationship with God, our neighbor and our deepest selves But, those answers lead to other questions that people have asked for a long time: What is love? Who is my neighbor? Isn’t loving myself selfish? How I “love” God, whom I cannot see? What can I count on God for? Talking Point  Share with the group: Suppose you were a contestant on The Millionaire! You can ask any question you wanted! And, GOD is your lifeline! Go, ahead ask!! _ _ I have an aunt who has always been deeply religious and faithful She had five children, and loved being a mom In fact, when her kids grew up, she started a day care center for toddlers in her home When her oldest son was in his early 20s, he was killed in a car accident I remember seeing her a few months later She was struggling very hard, because she said, “The one thing I always asked of God was to keep my children safe.” It took a long time for her to heal from that grief, the deep disappointment in God, and to face the tough, adult questions: “Why didn’t God answer my prayers in the way I had hoped?” “If I can’t count on God for keeping my children safe, what can I count on God for?” “What good are you, God?” Not only did she have grief over the loss of her son, but she had the additional pain of losing a less sophisticated view of God Somehow, even with all she knew about the world, and the tragedies that happen every day, she had felt reasonably secure that her simple faith in God would keep her children safe Like magic But faith is not magical And tragedies happen to everyone, including people with enormous faith and trust in God My aunt had to re-connect with God in a new way She learned that she could not count on God to always keep her children safe But she could count on God to help her through anything that life presented her, including profound loss She needed God again when her husband died of cancer a few years later She came to a deeper acceptance of the arbitrariness of life and death, and that our relationship with God does not protect us from pain, but can help Copyright © 2005 UFMCC us move through it God is ultimately the Resource we can count on for strength, endurance, hope, and peace, in the midst of the storms And, yet, we pray to God for “favors,” for help and intervention Marjorie Suchocki has a marvelous way of thinking about that in her essay on “Intercessory Prayer.” She believes that God can use our energy and collective prayers to actually accomplish things that could not be accomplished otherwise That we can sometimes also be the answers to our own prayers But, as we know there are no guarantees; there is no failsafe, magical system through which we can manipulate God So many people have their childhood, magical thinking about God (“Jesus loves you, but I’m His favorite!”) challenged, or even crushed, and never have it restored Some of those people end up in MCC, looking for community; looking for, I believe, a more adult, grown up faith Talking Point  Share with the group: Share an experience when your energy through prayer has accomplished something that otherwise might not have happened In what way did this impact your faith? Or  What you think you can count on God for? _ _ SHARING FAITH/CLOSING In a sentence or two share concerns and needs with each other From your "prayer circle" pray briefly for the one on your right, either silently or aloud (When finished, say if praying silently) Copyright © 2005 UFMCC Step - Deepening Your Faith Talking Point  Have you ever been part of a tag team or run a sack race? It took cooperation from all participants to complete the course, much less win the race! Share an experience you have had as part of a "team", whether a sporting event or other task How did being part of the team enlarge the possibilities? _ _ I have a friend who complains that the problems with many churches, including even some growing churches, is that they are “a mile wide and an inch deep!” By that, of course, she means that sometimes our churches focus on the basics so much so that people who are there a long time may feel like there is not enough to challenge them, to help them continue to grow spiritually That becomes a problem with the “back door” of the church: people keep coming in the front door, but just as many go out the back door because there is not enough to hold them What holds people are significant relationships and the encouragement to grow spiritually Adults need an active, engaged faith that can measure up to adult concerns and needs Each of us is responsible for the deepening of our spiritual lives, just as we are responsible for our personal finances, our health, our relationships, our work or vocation Sometimes we have been lazy or passive about our spiritual lives, much like a garden that we have neglected and allowed to become overgrown I love the old rabbinical saying, “I have to pray like it is all up to God, and work like it is all up to me .” God cares about our spiritual health and growth, and God is always working and trying to find ways to reach us and help us mature as people of faith But we also have to the “footwork,” to respond to the opportunities that are presented to us every day Our spiritual life is an adventure that has phases, chapters, twists and turns! It is impacted by losses we face, challenges we accept, decisions we make every day Leaving home, life passages, becoming middle aged, facing aging: all these things can affect our spiritual journey There are people who actually study adult spiritual development and its many phases – from adolescence through early adulthood, middle age and aging _ _ Talking Point  During your spiritual journey you have probably met people you "connected with" Think of someone who has helped deepen your faith to "see God in the situation" and share with the group what tools or special experiences they brought to your faith growth Copyright © 2005 UFMCC Share in what ways they were helpful when you were faced with choices or how they guided you to read road signs or choose direction at cross roads _ _ I was really touched by what Anne Morrow Lindberg wrote about mid-life in Gift from the Sea: and though she is talking about mid-life, I think what she says touches anyone who is struggling to deepen their faith: Is it not possible that middle age can be looked upon as a period of second flowering, second growth ? The signs that presage growth are similar to those in early adolescence: discontent, restlessness, doubt, despair, longing Who is not afraid of pure space – that breathtaking empty space of an open door? .But now these are interpreted falsely as signs of decay in middle age because of false assumptions, one interprets these life-signs, paradoxically, as signs of approaching death Instead of facing them, one runs away One tries to cure the signs of growth: to exorcise them as if they were devils, when really they might be angels of annunciation Annunciation of what? Of a new stage in living … where one might be freer to fulfill the neglected side of one’s self We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships, we leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb We are afraid it will never return Here is a prayer for those in the “Middle years” of opportunity, or for anyone who wants to grow spiritually Lord, help me now to un-clutter my life, To organize myself in the direction of simplicity Lord, teach me to listen to my heart; Teach me to welcome change instead of fearing it Lord, I give You these stirrings inside of me, I give You my discontent, I give You my restlessness, I give You my doubt, I give You my despair, I give You all the longings I hold inside Help me to listen to these signs of change, of growth; To listen seriously and follow where they lead Through the breathtaking empty space of an open door Copyright © 2005 UFMCC _ _ Talking Point  Share with the group: Which of these statements touches you most? What else would you add to "make this" your prayer? _ _ God is the God of the open door Do we have the courage to walk through it? All of us have had, along the way, mentors, teachers and soul-friends that have made a difference, in some small or large way, in helping us walk through open doors, or even ones that seemed previously closed I had a math teacher in 7th grade, Mr Freeman I was terrible at math, but fascinated by him, the first African American teacher I had ever known He came to our house to sell us a set of encyclopedia, and that changed my life My parents spent money they really could ill afford, but I spent the next few years devouring those volumes for the pleasure of learning (and to use to write term papers!) During some tough and lonely years of adolescence, though I never succeeded much at math, I had the world to explore through those books Then there was the assistant pastor of the church I grew up in, who invited me at age 13 to be the co-celebrant with him every Wednesday morning, at 7:00 AM for our Lenten mid-week communion, something unheard of for someone my age and gender Kneeling with him there, helping him serve communion, I knew in my heart that this was what I wanted to forever I will never know exactly what made him offer me that unusual opportunity, but I will always be grateful And, also to my mother who drove me there every Wednesday, an hour before school started! And, I think of the Pastor of the church in downtown Detroit that hosted MCC Detroit for many years Dr Devor told me to go back to school, and finish my seminary degree, which I had not been able to before leaving Boston In 1976 he told me that “years from now” I would be speaking to ecumenical groups, and that I would be a leader in MCC, and I would be in so much better a position to that if I had my degree How did he know? I took his advice to heart, and when the nearest Methodist seminary rejected me because I was gay, I applied to a Roman Catholic Seminary, which admitted me, and from which I received my divinity degree All along my path, God has sent women and men to me who have inspired me, critiqued me, challenged and encouraged me Some I sought out and some sought me out Copyright © 2005 UFMCC And there have been spiritual friends, peers, people who have been my prayer partners, who have walked long roads with me, who have been there in difficult times in my life, as well as joyful times; people who have been on my staff, or colleagues from other MCC churches, or from outside of MCC altogether All of us need mentors and spiritual friends People who can give us advice at critical moments, or who can ask us the question, “Where is God in this?” Jesus needed spiritual friends Even he could not his ministry alone, even though he sought out time alone to pray, and had times of terrible aloneness, even abandonment Still, he sought out imperfect, but willing, spiritual companions Sometimes our spiritual companions are in books Do you have a favorite devotional? A spiritual book that you return to again and again? Have you ever been on a retreat? Alone or with others? Where did you find spiritual refreshment? Have you ever had a prayer partner? Some of us are on a starvation diet spiritually Coming to church regularly is a good start, but more than that is required to really grow And, there is also a lot of spiritual “junk food” out there Do you have people, teachers, mentors that you can trust to help direct you to positive, excellent tools for spiritual growth? _ Talking Point  Share with the group: Think of the spiritual "tools" mentioned above as well as others you have experienced in your faith journey What "tools" you find useful in your spiritual growth? Which ones are a challenge to use? _ Marcus Borg says that “faith is at the heart of Christianity.” He has four meanings of faith that I think are worth considering as we think about taking responsibility for deepening our faith: 1) Faith as “assensus:” which means “assent.” For some people, being a Christian is a matter of believing the “right things.” But Borg challenges us with the words from the gospel of Mark, where the father of the boy who is ill says to Jesus, “I believe, help my unbelief!” Borg says that to “believe God’ is to “belove God.” Faith is not just about our heads, or ideas, it is about our hearts The Latin word for belief, in fact is “credo,” which means, “I give my heart to.” What you want to give your heart to? 2) Faith as “fiducia:” this is faith as radical trust in God Borg says, “Faith as trust is like floating in a deep ocean .If you struggle, if you tense up and thrash about, you will eventually sink But if you relax and trust, you will float.” To have this kind of faith is to see God as a safe “place” for us, free from anxiety or worry Borg quotes the Sermon on the Mount, from Matthew 6, where Jesus asks us to “Consider the birds of the air.: ” Copyright © 2005 UFMCC older I get, the more I am challenged by his words, his healing power and his courage to let God be visible in him! _ Talking Point  Share with the group: If you could spend a day "hanging out" with Jesus, in what way would this affect how you see him? How could this deepen your faith? _ SHARING FAITH: Briefly share prayer needs and concerns and pray for the one on your right (Remember to say if you are praying silently) Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 15 Step - Practicing Faith: Faith in Action! _ _ Talking Point  Everyone dreams of winning the lottery! What would you if you won the lottery and could use it to give it away or something special for another person? _ _ Faith is not just about talk It is about how we live, make decisions, choices; how we treat ourselves and others, what coalitions and alliances we form, how we spend our time, energy and resources Jesus, when asked to praise those who were praising God said, “Not those who say, “Lord, Lord,” shall enter the realm of God, but those who the will of my Heavenly Parent .” Jesus insisted that the walk was at least as important as the talk In fact, he told one parable about two sons, one of whom said he would something but didn’t and the other who didn’t say anything, didn’t verbally commit, but did what was asked anyway He asked which of the two had done the “will” of their earthly parent – of course, it was not the one who talked the big talk, but the one who followed through Over the years, there has been a lot of controversy, in particular, between Catholics and Protestants on the issue of grace and faith and works Part of the impetus for the Protestant Reformation was Martin Luther’s personal discovery of grace and his firm belief that we not and cannot earn God’s love and favor, but that God freely bestows grace on us Salvation itself is an “unmerited gift of grace,” and he was fond of quoting Paul from the book of Romans that “we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.” That perspective was a very important corrective to a corrupted Roman Catholic hierarchy and system that was teaching people to buy “indulgences” – to buy forgiveness for sins in lieu of genuine repentance That practice was a perversion of the message of grace, and is not practiced today by Catholics In fact, no Roman Catholic scholar today would probably disagree with Paul’s or Luther’s premise However, Protestant thought has its excesses and limits as well We are not saved by our works, we not earn grace But as the famous theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer stated, “Grace is free: all it costs is your life!” No thinking Christian today would say that we are not under obligation to live the faith we talk about! Jesus, after all, did not say, “I think it would be great if you tried to care about each other.” He said, “This commandment I give you: that you love one another as I have loved you.” The love he spoke of was not just a warm, fuzzy feeling – it was a commitment to the well-being of that other person! Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 16 _ _ Talking Point  Our faith journey can be one of speed bumps and roadblocks Some of these can be: Decisions and choices How we treat ourselves How we treat others How we spend our time, energy and resources Controversial teaching It's "not my job" Which of these things (and those you can list not mentioned) are the most challenging "road block" for you in putting your faith into action? _ _ Our faith is what draws us to God, and it is also what sustains us in living out our daily lives as Christians Our lives are meant to be lived in grateful response to what God has already done for us! What we for others, and for the world, is our way of participating in the miracle of redemption and grace It is our way of passing it on Did you see the movie, “Pay It Forward’? What a wonderful, modern parable In the movie, a little boy takes his teacher’s challenge to “pay it forward,” or give to/do for another when something has been given to/done for you, seriously, and finds a wonderful, spiritual secret that becomes a revolution We can never really repay what God and others have done for us – but we can “pay it forward” by passing on the blessing to someone else The Epistle of James says that “Faith without works is dead.” (James 2: 14-17) Luther objected strongly to that, calling the book of James “an epistle of straw!” At the same time, James’ point is well taken The book of James itself is really a practical guide for Christian living He brings up all kinds of issues – dealing with class differences, church gossip, giving, temptations, and especially the necessity to care for widows and orphans James 1: 22 says firmly, “But be doers of the word and not merely hearers who deceive themselves.” We are reminded that how we treat each other, especially in the church itself, is a sign of how well we are internalizing that love and grace of God Jesus was an activist In fact, MCC minister, former Jesuit professor, theologian and writer, Bob Goss, wrote a book entitled “Jesus Acted Up!” Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 17 Jesus started out his ministry, along with John the Baptist, preaching about “the kingdom” or realm of God This realm was both here and now and yet to come It could become a reality, if we turned to God with open hearts and true repentance, and if we changed our ways Jesus expanded this teaching to the famous “Sermon on the Mount,” in which he taught about a more demanding way to live That was a way of love and non-violence that even proposed we “love our enemies.” It pushed beyond the minimum requirements of the law, and asked us to internalize a new law of unconditional love I remember being six years old and going to Brownie camp (my mother was counselor in a day camp near where we lived) My mother taught another group, and in my group there was a girl my age, who, I am now sure, was not only poor, but possibly abused as well She was shy, and looked malnourished It was a very rainy day, and she had no jacket, sweater or coat I had a raincoat and a jacket I gave her my jacket to wear, and let her leave and go home with it, because I couldn’t stand to ask for it back When I had to account for my missing jacket, my mother was not happy I told her I thought that’s what Jesus wanted us to I remember how hard it was for her to try to stick to her point and let me know we weren’t exactly rolling in money and she was not happy about having to buy me another jacket, even though, yes, she understood that that’s what they taught me in Sunday School I remember feeling very confused, and upset I thought I was doing the right thing, and yet my mother was upset Maybe I even had a little pride in what I had done, thinking it was kind, and that someone should notice! I knew my mother loved God, and went to church but I was so sure that that was what Jesus said to do! I started to think that grown-ups didn’t really mean what they said, or that maybe all that Jesus stuff was just a fairy tale, not meant for actual implementation I think I still struggle with that as an adult What does God really require of you, of me? How much are we “supposed” to give? What does God want from me? Part of me thinks God was very touched by my gift that day which was something pure and natural And, God also, I’m sure, wanted to comfort my mother, who gave so much of herself all the time, but who, with my father, struggled every week to make ends meet I regret, sometimes, that I have lost the purity of heart as a six year old who heard Jesus tell her to give a needy, cold, wet child a jacket Like most adults, I have learned to screen out the needs I see around me – not always, but often They seem too big and overwhelming _ _ Talking Point  Share with the group: How have you felt disappointed by those, especially in the church, who seemed to ignore Jesus’ teaching? _ _ Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 18 Yet, God calls us to action To take steps, to open our hearts, to look around us Faith isn’t just about coming to church, joining the choir, thinking the right thoughts, or saying the right things Faith also comes into play as we deal with that annoying person at work, or a difficult neighbor, or an increasingly aging and dependent parent Faith affects our politics and our view of the world John 3:16 says that “God so loved the world .” If God loves the world, then we ought to also love the world – that means every human being, every living creature, the planet itself Faith is also about endurance and perseverance It is about not giving up Florida’s courts dismissed the lawsuit that Paula and I filed to have our Massachusetts marriage recognized in Florida This is not the end of the road, it is still just the beginning! There is a South African hymn that goes, “We shall not give up the fight: we have only started!” That’s how I feel about marriage equality, and about fighting for justice for all people Perseverance is what every good civil and human rights struggle is made of We have to understand that we are in it for the long haul That someday people will look back on this time and be amazed that we were denied rights, and that we had to fight for them And, there are those who cannot fight for themselves – especially children, and animals, and other living creatures whose very existence is threatened by our greed or carelessness To speak up for justice, to act, requires faith – faith that God is at work in the midst of all of our efforts! _ _ Talking Point  Share with the group: What are some steps you could take to start putting "feet to your faith?" How have you experienced faith in action at Church of the Trinity? In what ways could your faith work to fulfill Jesus' commandment to love one another? _ _ SHARING FAITH In a sentence or two share concerns and needs with each other From your "prayer circle" pray briefly for the one on your right, either silently or aloud (When finished, say if praying silently) Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 19 Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 20 STEP - Sharing Faith When I think about sharing my faith, what comes to mind is the childhood activity of “Show and Tell.” In school, we were invited to bring something to school and show it to the class and talk about it Sharing our faith is not just about telling In fact, I think it is better if it is more about showing than telling In the history of Christianity, sometimes there has been too much talking about our faith in God, and in Jesus, and too little demonstrating what that faith really entails _ _ Talking Point  What positive or negative experiences have you had with others who wanted to share their faith with you? _ _ Christians have sometimes acted as if sharing one’s faith means coercing and converting others through any means necessary It is a sad thing to recall, but there have been whole communities of people who were forced to convert to Christianity at gunpoint or with the threat of death Conquerors of the new world, in particular, brought priests with them to subjugate people not only in terms of their lands and resources, but minds and hearts In other times, and even today, people have thought that spreading the gospel is about winning an argument, about convincing people of the superiority of our faith To share faith, in other words is to wring a confession out of someone, to get them to sign on the dotted line, to say the right phrase, to pray the right prayer In contrast, I think of the Christian song, “They’ll Know We Are Christians By Our Love.” Showing love, doing justice, caring about our neighbors, is a great way to start sharing our faith Jesus demonstrated love He healed people, and included people who were rejected or overlooked He acted and then he talked about it When people were healed, he often took no credit, saying “your faith has made you well.” Jesus showed us who God is in his life, his ministry, and in his words In Alcoholics Anonymous they say the way to share the gifts of sobriety found through “the Program” is “attraction, not promotion.” Jesus never promoted himself He didn’t have to! People were attracted to his way of being, to his deeds and to his way of talking about God He didn’t have to sell anything He didn’t need a marketing campaign His life and way of treating others was his marketing campaign Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 21 Sharing our faith may be something we casually, or more formally Not many of us will ever have the opportunity to preach, or to “testify” about our faith publicly, before a group Most sharing of faith occurs one-to-one, in quiet, behind the scenes way Lay people are the best ones to it People expect a preacher to have faith, and are not always comfortable talking about their faith, or lack of it, to a “professional!” But lay people have a unique opportunity; at work, at school, with our family and friends, to share in a more casual way _ _ Talking Point  Share with the group: What action in your life could cause Jesus to say, "your faith has made you well." How can you show who God is in your life? _ _ How you share your faith? Here are five ways: 1) Remember that wherever you are, as a Christian, you are a not only a follower of Jesus Christ, but you are a partner with Jesus in ministry You are a part of the Body of Christ, and you may be the only “Bible” some people ever read You may be the only person of “faith” that some people know personally People are aware of how you act and speak, believe it or not They will judge you and your “faith” long before you have an opportunity to explain it or speak about it Your actions speak louder than words People learn to trust us when there is coherence between our actions and our words When we show love and respect and consideration; when we go “the extra mile;” when we reach out to someone who is hurting or having a bad day I remember a phrase I learned as a young person: “If you were arrested today for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?” 2) Be willing to identify yourself as a person of faith Sometimes people this in a flashy way that lets you know they think they are superior, better than others, because they are a “Christian.” They wear so much Christian jewelry, have so many Christian bumper stickers (some of which can be very off-putting) – it is like they are wearing a big, neon sign that says “I’ve got it, you don’t; I’m going to heaven, you’re not!” Some Christians almost act insecure, as if they think that if they don’t advertise in a big way, no one would ever guess that they are a person of faith! They won’t know we are Christians by our bumper stickers, but by our love Jesus had an interesting, mysterious practice of keeping his messiah-ship a secret He even told people not to tell others once they figured it out! People have speculated for a long time about why Jesus did this Was it reverse psychology? Was he just trying to stay alive long enough to show and tell enough? Or, maybe he was really trying a stealth method of evangelism (another Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 22 word for sharing faith) Maybe Jesus wanted people to see and decide for themselves without so much advanced publicity I enjoy it more sometimes when people not know right away that I am a minister Once people know that, they may treat me differently Before they know that, I am just a person, like them Whatever I or say is not interpreted through that lens I have a different kind of opportunity, then, to share my faith Sometimes the labels interfere The same applies to those of us who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender – it is interesting to have the experience of people getting to know us first before they know the label We have an opportunity for someone to have a different experience than their stereotypes It is a powerful witness This is true of sharing faith Let people get to know us, to see how we act and who we are, before we share whose we are! Not that we want to be “closet” Christians, but we don’t want to drive people away with our advance publicity, either _ _ Talking Point  Share with the group: Have you ever thought of yourself as a "partner with Jesus in ministry?" How does this impact your understanding of yourself as a person of faith? _ _ 3) Be willing to respond to pointed questions It is a rare thing for someone to ask us directly about faith But when someone does: “Do you believe in God?”, “What church you go to?”, “Can you really be gay and Christian?”; it is a great privilege to share from your heart We are told that in those moments, we will always be given the words to say We not have to have a prepared text, or pat answers We just need to look them in the eye, smile and share from our heart I was on an airplane once, on New Year’s Eve, with a man who eventually told me he was on the plane because his wife had died and every holiday he spends just flying around the country to avoid the pain of having lost her Later in our conversation he learned that I was a minister He asked me if I knew where his wife was I took that golden opportunity, looked him in the eye, touched his hand and said, “I believe with all my heart, that she is with God and that you can trust God for that.” It is my hope that he saw my presence with him that day as a sign, and that our conversation brought him some comfort and peace Someday, someone may ask you a poignant question like that Don’t be afraid to answer from your heart 4) Be prepared Sometimes we have the opportunity to stand up for what we believe in the face of hostility or opposition I remember, years ago, being coached before debating Jerry Falwell on the Ron Reagan, Jr Show What was important was not trying to convince Jerry Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 23 Falwell of anything! I was not holding my breath about that But what was important was the folks who were watching both of us, and listening to both of us What did they see? Did I come across angry, defensive? I was coached to avoid answering his questions, just be sure to make my own point instead That was amazing – he would ask me a question, and I would just turn it around and say what I most wanted to say to those listening! I smiled I was gentle, kind, firm and humorous I even got Jerry Falwell to laugh at one point I wanted people to see a lesbian Christian who was not afraid or intimidated, who was confident, and who trusted God That image, even more than my precise words, gave a message I was not worried about Jerry Falwell, that notorious homophobe He is not my judge or my savior He is a human being, a pastor, with some mistaken ideas about me and my community He is also a child of God How can we be prepared when we are not going on TV? First of all, if you are a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender Christian, it is not a bad thing for you to know something about the subject of “Homosexuality and the Bible." If you even know a little, you will know a lot more than most people, including people who think the Bible condemns homosexuality! Mostly, however, we are prepared by praying and learning over long periods of time By gradually getting more familiar with our faith as a whole, not only the parts that apply to our particular circumstances We get prepared by becoming a person of faith and prayer ourselves By working on our relationship with God and by gaining more confidence in God and ourselves Pray for opportunities to show your faith, and to be able to talk about it Just try that for one week, and see what happens to you! 5) Take risks I think of lesbian couples who were married on the steps of the City Hall in Sarasota, FL They not only came out as lesbians, but as church-goers! I remember the interview with one couple, Sue and Sheila, in which they said they listened to Christian radio Picture the people who listen to Christian radio feeling shocked to learn that! If they had said, “I go to gay bars, I watch ‘Ellen’ and ‘Will and Grace’” no one would have paid attention .but, Christian radio? Years ago, In Los Angeles, there were two women from the church who were electricians They were working on the home of two lesbians Frequently they spoke of the church, about singing in the choir, about church activities Finally, one of the women whose home was being repaired burst out “Aren’t you ever going to invite us to your church? Or is it a big secret?” In a way, the two electricians were embarrassed that they had not yet gotten around to inviting them On the other hand, it worked a little like that “messianic secret.” Imagine if right off the bat they had begun pressuring these women to come to church It might have really turned them off, intimidated them Instead, they got to know about these women, and learned a little about what goes on at church, without pressure They got to see how these women acted They liked what they saw, or they wouldn’t have asked the big question _ _ Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 24 Talking Point  Share with the group: In what ways have you become more familiar with your faith during this study? If you could ask God for opportunities to share you faith, who would you ask God to touch? _ _ Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 25 People are wary of churches, and of aggressive sales tactics I have met so many people who act afraid to come to church, who say they are “spiritual” but not “religious” (which means “leave me alone, I don’t church!”) When they say that, I sometimes joke back, “Me, too – I’m not very “religious” either– neither are a lot of people who come to the church!” I think by “religious” they mean pious or Bible-toting/thumping, self-righteous, boring, and other unflattering attributes It is amazing to share with people that in our church you can relax, you can be yourself, and that you can “take what you like and leave the rest.” And we have fun! Hopefully, we don’t take ourselves too seriously, and provide a safe space for people to grow in their faith, at their own pace We don’t preach or teach that our church is the only church, or the only church that has the truth; or that our faith is the only path of faith We don’t tell people that they are dying and going to hell if they don’t it our way We say that God is present with us, and in us, and that God wants us to show the love that Jesus’ lived, and to tell others when we have the opportunity Is there someone in your world who you think is struggling with their faith? Someone who needs a spiritual friend or companion? Do you feel self-confident enough to offer spiritual friendship in a non-intimidating way? How is your spiritual “self-esteem?” Is there someone you know who is ready to be invited to church? A good way to that is to first invite them to dinner, a concert or to a social event that is non-churchy Sometimes, watching church people just enjoy themselves, being human and ordinary makes seeing them in church on Sunday less overwhelming Rev Delores Berry sings an old gospel song “I Said I Wasn’t Gonna Tell Nobody, But I Couldn’t Keep It to Myself!” If we found a wonderful new toothpaste, or great store to shop at, or a fabulous, out of the way restaurant, we wouldn’t hesitate to tell our friends or co-workers But we are awfully shy about church, sometimes, even if we are not closeted! To be a follower of Jesus means to let our faith show and our light shine Not so that it blinds others, but so that it attracts and draws them to the same One whose love we have received and whose amazing grace has set us free _ _ Talking Point  Share with the group: How am I moving to a place of deepening faith, doing justice and embracing joy? How can I “Show and tell” my faith? Copyright © 2005 UFMCC _ _ SHARING FAITH Before praying briefly for one another, share in a sentence or two in what ways this study has been helpful to you find a "grown up" faith Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 27 Five Steps to a Faith that Works Lenten Series Leader’s Guide Suggestions for Your Group Gathering:  Maintain a setting for honest and open discussion rather than an instructional setting When you reach a “Talking Point” offer to answer some of these first, thereby giving your small group participants time to think about their answers for a time before joining in the conversation As your group gets more familiar, you may find a natural tendency for others to speak up first  Suggested group rules may include, and are not limited to:  Confidentiality: what is shared in the group stays in the group  Recognizing everyone’s view as sacred and worthy of respect  Begin and end on time  Take turns sharing so that everyone is listening respectfully  Recognize that silence is an acceptable way to participate - no one will be required to share Choose your group rules carefully They should offer safety and security to your group without excluding or becoming invasive  Set a time for these gatherings It is suggested that one and a half to two hours be allotted for each study You may wish to adjust this time to best meet the needs of your group Because the lessons vary in length, be sure to give plenty of time for the longest of the lessons when you advertise your start/end times Try not to go over  Establish a setting that is conducive to discussion Since you will ask people to bring their study completed each week, an informal circle or “U” shape might work well You want to avoid people having to turn around to look at whoever is talking  Refreshments: Some groups will enjoy a time of refreshments following the session The leader may ask if anyone would like to volunteer to bring treats for the next week  You may wish to begin and end with prayer After the first week, ask for a volunteer to lead in a two to five minute opening meditation before each session If you choose to this, it is best to ask for volunteers the week before, in order to give participants time to prepare It may be best for you to consistently close the group with the “Sharing Faith” notes at the end of each study  Share reading responsibilities The studies are lengthy and require extensive reading out loud After your first session together, ask who might be willing to share in the reading responsibilities Your group may wish to just move around the room, or there may be a select few who enjoy reading and will take the bulk of the load You are needed to facilitate discussion…don’t lose your voice reading the study aloud every week by yourself! Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 28  Each week: read through the lesson before your small group arrives Take some notes about what comes up for you so you don’t have to think too much about your perspective/answers during the “Talking Points.” (Additional ideas/perspectives are likely to come up for you when you read the lesson with the group as well…) This will allow you to offer more attention to the participants and help you facilitate discussion among the group as a whole  Have a Bible close by The lessons reference sayings of Jesus and ideas about who Jesus is, what Jesus did, and how we are to be like Jesus in the world today It’s possible that participants may wish to look something up in scripture (or that you will) Having a Bible close at hand will be helpful You may also want to look up specific scripture references as they are mentioned in the lessons for further understanding  Enjoy yourself! Engage in the conversation as it happens! This study is for you, too! Thank you for offering your gift of leadership! Copyright © 2005 UFMCC 29 ... abused as well She was shy, and looked malnourished It was a very rainy day, and she had no jacket, sweater or coat I had a raincoat and a jacket I gave her my jacket to wear, and let her leave... think that grown-ups didn’t really mean what they said, or that maybe all that Jesus stuff was just a fairy tale, not meant for actual implementation I think I still struggle with that as an adult... eye, touched his hand and said, “I believe with all my heart, that she is with God and that you can trust God for that. ” It is my hope that he saw my presence with him that day as a sign, and that