Notice how David used the five keys to goal setting. He counted the cost, he wrote them, he roped up with his friends, he set his goals during a momentous moment when he was sick of being a shrimp (sorry, lil bro), and he had the raw tenacity to “just do it.” Now, I’m not endorsing being body-centered, as David was for a period. And I can’t promise you that you can will your way into growing taller, no matter how much milk you drink. I’m only trying to demonstrate the power that goals can play in your life.
As David told me his story, it became clear that being a ninety-pound wimp might have been a blessing in disguise. His apparent weakness (skinny body) actually became his strength (forced him to develop discipline and perseverance). People who lack the native physical, social, or mental gifts they desire must fight just that much harder. And that uphill battle can produce qualities and strengths they couldn’t develop any other way. That is how a weakness can become a strength.
So if you’re not endowed with all the beauty, biceps, bucks, or brains that you covet—
congratulations! You just may have the better deal. This poem by Douglas Malloch says it well:
The tree that never had to fight For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king But lived and died a scrubby thing . . .
Good timber does not grow with ease, The stronger wind, the stronger trees.
Make Your Life Extraordinary
L ife is short. This point is emphasized in the classic movie Friday Night Lights. Coach Gary Gaines tells his team of struggling high school football players: “Being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It’s not about winning. It’s about you and your relationship with yourself, your family, and your friends. Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didn’t let them down because you told them the truth. And that truth is you did everything you could. There wasn’t one more thing you could’ve done.
Can you live in that moment as best you can, with clear eyes, and love in your heart, with joy in your heart? If you can do that gentleman—you’re perfect!”
Theologian Howard Thurman once said, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Carpe Diem! Sieze the day! Make your life extraordinary!
As you do this, remember, life is a mission, not a career. A career is a profession. A mission is a cause. A career asks, “What’s in it for me?” A mission asks, “How can I make a difference?” Martin Luther King, Jr.’s mission was to ensure civil rights for all people, no matter their race. Gandhi’s mission was to liberate 300 million oppressed Indian citizens.
Mother Teresa’s mission was to clothe the naked and feed the hungry.
These are extreme examples. You don’t have to change the world to have a mission. As educator Maren Mouritsen says, “Most of us will never do great things. But we can do small things in a great way.”
COMING ATTRACTIONS
You’ve heard of willpower. But have you ever heard of won’t power? That’s up next!
1 Determine the three most important skills you’ll need to succeed in your career. Do you need to be more organized, be more confident speaking in front of other people, have stronger computer programming skills?
The three most important skills I need for my career:
2 Reread your mission statement daily for 30 days (that’s how long it takes to develop a habit). Let it guide you in all your decisions.
3 Look in the mirror and ask, “Would I want to spend time with someone like me?” If not, work to develop the qualities you’re lacking.
4 Go to your school guidance or employment counselor and talk about college or career opportunities. Or, find an aptitude test online that’ll help you evaluate your talents, abilities, and interests.
5 What’s the key crossroad you are facing in your life right now? In the long run, what’s the best path to take?
Key crossroad I am facing:
The best path to take:
6 Share some of The Great Discovery activity questions on your Facebook page or your blog. See what your friends’
answers are. Share yours as well.
7 Think about your goals. Have you written them down? If not, take time to do it. Remember, a goal not written is only a wish.
8 Identify a negative label others may have given you. Think up a few things you can do to change that label.
Negative label:
How to change it:
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.
STEVEN WRIGHT, COMEDIAN
I was listening to a speech comparing the challenges faced by today’s teens to those of teens who lived 150 years ago. I agreed with most of what the speaker said until this: “The challenge that teens faced 150 years ago was hard work. The challenge that teens face today is a lack of hard work.”
Uh, ex-squeeze me! I mumbled to myself. A lack of hard work? What are you smokin’? I think teens are multitasking more than ever. I see it with my own eyes every day. Between school, socializing, extracurricular activities, clubs, athletics, part-time jobs, dealing with family, and on and on, there’s barely time to breathe. A lack of hard work? Ha! Milking cows and mending fences doesn’t sound any more difficult than juggling the multifaceted life of a twenty-first-century teen.
Let’s face it. You’ve got a lot to do and there’s just not enough time. After school there’s rehearsal, followed by work. There’s also that bio test tomorrow. And you’ve gotta text your friend relationship crisis advice. On top of that, you should exercise. The dog needs a walk.
And your room’s a disaster. What’ll you do?
Habit 3, Put First Things First, can help. It’s all about learning to prioritize and manage your time so that your first things come first, not last. But there’s more to this habit than just time management. Putting first things first can also help you learn to overcome your fears and be strong during hard moments.
In Habit 2, you decided what your first things are. Habit 3, then, is putting them first in your life.
Sure we can have a nice list of goals and good intentions, but doing them, putting them into action is the hard part. That’s why I call Habit 3 the habit of willpower (the strength to say yes to your most important things) and won’t power (the strength to say no to less important things and to peer pressure).
The first three habits build upon each other. Habit 1 says, “You are the driver, not the passenger.” Habit 2 says, “Decide where you want to go and draw up a map to get you there.” Habit 3 says, “Now, get there! Don’t let roadblocks knock you off course.”