P ACKING M ORE INTO Y OUR L IFE

Một phần của tài liệu 7 thói quen giúp bạn trẻ thành đạt (english) (Trang 111 - 118)

Have you ever packed a suitcase and noticed how much more you can fit inside when you neatly fold and organize your clothes instead of just throwing them in? It’s really quite surprising. The same goes for your life. The better you organize yourself, the more you’ll be able to pack in—more time for family and friends, more time for school, more time for yourself, more time for your first things.

I’d like to show you an amazing model called the Time Quadrants that can help you pack more in (especially important things). It’s made up of two primary ingredients, “important”

and “urgent.”

Important—your most important things, your first things, activities that contribute to your mission and your goals.

Urgent—things that have to be done ASAP, in-your-face things, activities that demand immediate attention.

In general, we spend our time in four different time quadrants, as shown below. Each quadrant contains different kinds of activities and is represented by a type of person.

The Time Quadrants

If you haven’t already noticed, we live in a society that’s addicted to urgency. It’s the NOW generation. That’s why we have Internet on our phones, instant messaging, Instagram,

crash diets, fast food, 140-character tweets, and online shopping. It reminds me of Veruca Salt, the spoiled rich girl in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, who keeps saying, “Now, Daddy! Now! I want an Oompa-Loompa now!”

Urgent things aren’t bad, necessarily. The problem comes when we become so focused on urgent things that we put off important things that aren’t urgent, like working on that report in advance, going for a walk in nature, or taking time to videochat with a long distance friend. All these important things get interrupted by urgent things, like texts, emails, deadlines, and other “in-your-face-do-it-this-second” things.

As we dig a little deeper into each quadrant, ask yourself, “What quadrant am I spending most of my time in?”

QUADRANT 1: The Procrastinator

Let’s start with Q1, things that are both urgent and important. There will always be Q1 things that we can’t control and that must get done, like helping someone who is sick or sticking to a due date. But we also cause many Q1 headaches because we procrastinate, like when we put off doing our homework and then have to cram all night for a test or when we neglect our bike for too long and then have to take it in to get repaired. Q1 is part of life, but if you’re spending too much time in Q1, believe me, you’ll feel like a hot mess and you’ll seldom be performing to your potential.

Meet the Procrastinator, who hangs out in Q1. Perhaps you know her. Her motto is, “I’m going to stop procrastinating—sometime soon.” Don’t expect her to work on a paper or study for a test until the night before. And don’t expect her to take time to get gas; she’s usually too busy driving.

The Procrastinator is addicted to urgency. She likes to put things off and put things off and put things off . . . until it becomes a crisis. But she likes it that way because, you see, even though it’s stressful, doing everything at the last minute gives her a rush. In fact, her mind won’t kick into gear until there’s an emergency. She thrives under pressure.

Planning ahead is simply out of the question for the Procrastinator because it would ruin the excitement of doing everything at the last possible moment.

I can relate to the Procrastinator because I was a cram artist in high school. I used to think it was impressive to not study all semester, then cram the night before and pull off a good grade. How stupid! Sure I got the grade, but I didn’t learn a thing and I paid for it in college.

In many ways I’m still paying for it.

One procrastinating teen said it this way:

“What I do is I slack off until the end of the term and kill myself for the last two weeks. When grades come out I get around a 3.7 to 3.8, but I don’t feel I have earned it because everyone else turned stuff in on time and does what they’re supposed to. They’re not stressed. That’s how I want to be.”

The results of too much time in Q1 are:

• Stress and anxiety

• Feeling burnt out

• Mediocre performance

QUADRANT 2: The Prioritizer

We’ll save the best for last—I’ll keep you in suspense for now!

QUADRANT 3: The Yes-man

Q3 represents things that are urgent but not important. It is characterized by trying to please other people and responding to their every desire. This quadrant is deceptive because urgent, immediate things feel important. In truth, they’re often not. I mean how many times do you drop something to check your phone, when the only text you got is from a friend responding

“k” or “lol” and that’s it! Not really worth the interruption. Q3 is loaded with activities that are important to other people but not important to you—things that you would like to say no to but can’t because you’re afraid you might offend someone.

Meet the Yes-man of Q3, who has a hard time saying no to anything or anyone. He tries so hard to please everyone that he usually ends up pleasing no one, including himself. He suffers from FOMO—Fear of Missing Out. He can’t stop imagining that everyone’s having fun without him, and so he tries to be a part of everything. He often caves to peer pressure because he likes feeling popular and he wouldn’t want to stand out. His motto is,

“Tomorrow, I’ll be more assertive—if that’s okay with you.”

When his friends dropped by unexpectedly one evening and wanted him to go for a night ride, he just couldn’t muster up the courage to turn them down. He didn’t want to disappoint his buddies. It didn’t matter that he was taking a massive test the next morning and needed to study and get some sleep.

He told his sister that he’d help her with math, but he couldn’t resist getting distracted by a texting marathon for most of the night. Even though it wasn’t that important.

He didn’t really want to join the swimming team. He preferred graphic design. But his dad was a swimmer and, of course, he didn’t want to let him down.

I think all of us, myself included, have a little Q3 inside of us. But we won’t accomplish much if we say yes to everything and never learn to focus on what’s most important.

Comedian Bill Cosby has said it well: “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.” Q3 is one of the worst quadrants to be in because it has no backbone. It’s fickle and will blow whichever way the wind is blowing.

The results of spending too much time in Q3 are:

• Feeling like a follower rather than a leader

• Lack of discipline

• Feeling like a doormat for others to wipe their feet on

QUADRANT 4: The Slacker

Q4 is the category of waste and excess. These activities are neither urgent nor important.

Meet the Slacker who hangs out in Q4. He loves anything in excess, like too much TV, too much sleep, too much PlayStation, or too much time online. Two of his favorite pastimes include regular napping and binging on an entire TV series each weekend.

He’s a professional slacker. Sleeping in until noon takes real skill, after all. School, of course, is the last thing on his mind, and a summer job is out of the question. He’d rather, you know, just hang out.

Yes, of course chilling out and watching videos online are part of a healthy lifestyle. It’s only when they’re done in excess that they become a waste of time. You’ll know when you cross that line. Watching that first episode of your favorite TV show might be just what you

need to relax, and that’s okay. But then watching the second, third, or even fourth show (a rerun that you’ve seen five times already) until 2 A.M. turns a relaxing evening into a wasted one.

The results of living in Q4 are:

• Lack of responsibility

• Guilt

• Flakiness

• Missing out on adventures

QUADRANT 2: The Prioritizer

Now back to Q2. Q2 is made of things that are important but not urgent—like relaxation, friendships, working out, planning ahead, and doing homework . . . on time! It’s the quadrant of excellence—the place to be. Q2 activities are important. But are Q2 activities urgent? No! And that’s why we have trouble doing them. For example, getting a good summer job may be very important to you. But since it’s weeks away and not urgent, you may put off looking on Craigslist until it’s too late and suddenly all the good jobs are filled.

Had you been in Q2, you would have planned ahead and found a better job. It wouldn’t take more time, just a little more planning.

Meet the Prioritizer. Although she’s by no means perfect, she’s basically got it together.

She takes a look at everything she has to do and then prioritizes, making sure her first things get done first and her last things last. Because she has the simple but powerful habit of planning ahead, she’s usually on top of things. By doing her homework on time and writing papers a little in advance, she does her best work and avoids the stress and burnout that come from cramming. She makes time to exercise and renew herself, even if it means pushing aside other things once in a while. The people who matter most in her life, like her friends and her family, come first. Although it’s a struggle, staying balanced is important to her.

She changes the oil in her car regularly. And she doesn’t wait until she’s running on fumes to fill up with gas. She takes time to relax, but knows there’s a time and a place to let loose.

She’s learned how to say no with a smile. When her friends dropped by unexpectedly one evening to go to a party, she said, “Nah, I have a huge test tomorrow. How about Friday night? Let’s go out then.” Her friends were okay with that and secretly wished they’d had the courage to stick to their guns, too. She’s learned that resisting peer pressure appears unpopular at first, but that people come to respect her for it.

The results of living in Q2 are:

• Control of your life

• Balance

• High performance

So in which quadrant are you spending the majority of your time? 1, 2, 3, or 4? Since, in reality, we all spend some time in each quadrant, the key is to shift as much time as possible into Q2. And the only way you’ll find more time for Q2 is to reduce the amount of time you spend in the other quadrants. Here is how to do that:

Shrink Q1 by procrastinating less. You’re always going to have lots to do in Q1. That’s guaranteed. But if you can cut your procrastination in half by doing important things early, you’ll be in Q1 far less often. And less Q1 time means less stress!

Say no to Q3 activities. Learn to say no to unimportant things that pull you away from more important ones. Don’t be so interruptible. Trying to please everyone is like a dog trying

to catch its tail. Remember, when you’re saying no you’re really saying yes to more important things.

Cut down on Q4, slacker activities. Don’t stop doing these things, just do them less often.

You don’t have time to waste. Shift this time to Q2. You need to relax and kick back, but remember relaxation is Q2. Excessive relaxation is Q4.

In addition to spending more time in Q2, consider two other suggestions to help you better manage your time and put first things first: Start a calendar and plan weekly.

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