Exercise 2: Identify the sentences in the following paragraph by type: topic sentence, support sentences, detail/example sentences and transition signals These are the differences betwee[r]
(1)SỞ GIÁO DỤC & ĐÀO TẠO TỈNH VĨNH PHÚC PHÒNG GIÁO DỤC & ĐÀO TẠO HUYỆN LẬP THẠCH -*** - THE STUDY “HOW TO WRITE A GOOD PARAGRAPH” Họ và tên : NGUYỄN THỊ HÀ Chức vụ : Giáo viên Đơn vị : Trường THCS Lập Thạch – huyện Lập Thạch Tỉnh Vĩnh Phúc Đối tượng học sinh bồi dưỡng: HS lớp 8,9 Số tiết bồi dưỡng: 12 (2) PART I: KNOWLEDGE SYSTEMS, BASIC METHODS, AND ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES A, ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: As we know, many students in Viet Nam cannot use English in communication after leaving high schools or universities, which is a big problem for our education system The authorities really concern about teaching and learning English in Viet Nam, so they motivate the National Foreign Languages 2020 Project to help Vietnamese students improve and use English fluently However, during my teaching I realize our students’ skills are not good One of the four skills that students find it difficult and confusing is writing skill, especially writing paragraphs Although many students are good at grammatical structures, know a variety of vocabularies, they not know how to organize sentences to make a good paragraph and get good grade for their paragraph writing To achieve this, students should hold the guidelines below B, CONTENTS I, What is a paragraph? A paragraph is a group of related sentences that discuss one (and usually only one) main idea A paragraph can be as short as one sentence or as long as ten sentences The number of sentences is unimportant; however, the paragraph should be long enough to develop the main idea clearly A paragraph should always have complete, correct sentences As well it should be easy to read and well organized The paragraph itself should focus on one subject, theme, or central idea In other words, a paragraph could be about an object such as a young boy If the paragraph starts out talking about the boy, it must stay the same throughout For example, if the writer were to talk about where a young boy lives and then go on to describe what the boy looks like, these are two separate ideas This is demonstrated below: John lived in San Francisco, California, with his two parents He had his own bedroom, which he decorated himself He and his parents all lived comfortably in the cozy apartment on the third floor The apartments were only three blocks from (3) where he attended J.U High School John was only five years old, but he was extremely smart for his age He wasn’t that tall and he was a bit on the skinny side He had big blue eyes, light brown hair, rosy cheeks, and a friendly smile Just looking at him he seemed like any other kid quite normal Yet, everyone in his class looked at him differently because John could never be a normal kid Instead, he wasn’t normal No, he was a genius In this example you can see that the first paragraph is about where John lives and the second paragraph covers another topic or idea, which is what he looks like When examining a paragraph you can always ask yourself, what is the main idea in this paragraph? If you see two ideas as in the above example you might have to create two paragraphs Although, in order to understand what a paragraph is and how to write one, you need to know how a paragraph is constructed II, Elements of a paragraph A paragraph should contain some structures and particular elements, which are listed below in relative order: 1.A Topic sentence- motivates the reader to want to read more Every good paragraph has a topic sentence, which clearly states the topic and the controlling idea of the paragraph A topic sentence is the most important sentence in a paragraph It briefly indicates what the paragraph is going to discuss For this reason, the topic sentence is a helpful guide to both the write and the reader The writer can see what information to include The reader can see what the paragraph is going to be about and therefore better prepare to understand it For example, in the model paragraph on gold, the topic sentence alerts the reader to look for two characteristics Gold Gold, a precious metal, is prized for two important characteristics First of all, gold has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion Therefore, it is suitable for jewelry, coins, and ornamental purposes Gold never needs to be polished and will remain beautiful forever For example, a Macedonian coin remains as untarnished today as the day it was made 25 centuries ago Another important characteristic of gold is its usefulness to industry and science For many years, it has been used in hundreds of industrial applications, such as photography and dentistry The most recent use of gold is in astronauts’ suits Astronauts wear gold-plated heat shields for (4) protection when they go outside spaceships in space In conclusion, gold is treasured not only for its beauty but also for its utility Here are three important points to remember about a topic sentence: a, A topic sentence is a complete sentence; that is, it contains at least one subject and one verb The following are not complete sentences because they not have verbs: Eg: Learning English at school How to cook a good meal b, A topic sentence contains both a topic and a controlling idea It names the topic and then limits the topic to a specific area to be discussed in the space of a single paragraph Eg: Gold , a precious metal, is prized for two important characteristics topic controlling idea Driving on freeways requires skill and alertness Topic controlling idea Participating in class discussions is a problem for several different groups of students Topic controlling idea c, A topic sentence should be neither too general nor too specific If it is too general, the reader cannot tell exactly what the paragraph is going to discuss If it is too specific, the writer will not have anything to write about in the rest of the paragraph Eg1: English has been influenced by other languages -> This sentence is too general We don’t know how many languages English has been influenced Eg2: Undercooked chicken and hamburger may carry E.coli bacteria ->This sentence is too specific It dedicates that undercooked chicken and hamburger causes E.coli bacteria It is too clear for us to continue our ideas Eg3: It is hard to know which foods are safe to eat nowadays.-> This is the best topic sentence It limits the paragraph to talk about only safe foods (5) *Notice: A topic sentence is usually (but not always) the first sentence in a paragraph Sometimes a topic sentence comes at the end But the best spot is usually right at the beginning The reader who are used to the English way of writing want to know what they will read about as soon as they begin reading 2, Body: Supporting sentences 2.1, Supporting sentences: - Supporting sentences develop the topic sentence That’s, they explain or prove the topic sentence by giving more information about it One of the biggest problems in student writing is that student writers often fail to support their ideas adequately They need to use specific details to be thorough and convincing - Good supporting sentences are specific and factual - There are several kinds of specific supporting details: examples, statistics, facts and quotations Following are some of supporting sentences that explain the topic sentence about gold First of all, gold has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion For example, a Macedonian coin remains as untarnished today as the day it was made 25 centuries ago Another important characteristic of gold is its usefulness to industry and science - Paragraphs in English often have more than two supporting ideas At minimum, you should have at least five to seven sentences in your paragraph 2.2, Unity: - Supporting sentences must be directly linked to the topic sentence of the paragraph When the sentences in a paragraph are not consistent with the main idea provided by the topic sentence, the paragraph lacks unity Unity is a very important characteristic of good paragraph writing Paragraph unity means that one paragraph is about ONLY ONE main topic That is, all the sentences the topic, supporting sentences, the (6) detail sentences, and (sometimes) the concluding sentence are all telling the reader about ONE main topic If your paragraph contains a sentence or some sentences that are NOT related to the main topic, then we say that the paragraph "lacks unity," or that the sentence is "off-topic." Eg: paragraph Adventure travel is the hot trend in the tourism industry Ordinary people no longer content to spend their two weeks away from the office resting on a sunny beach in Florida More and more often, they are choosing to spend their vacation rafting down wild rivers, hiking through steamy rain forests, climbing the world’s highest mountains, or crossing slippery glaciers.(People of all age are choosing education study tours for their vacations.) ->This paragraph breaks the rule of unity because it contains one or more sentences that are off the topic The last sentence introduces a new topic - Every sentence in the paragraph should relate to the main idea You achieve unity by: + discussing only one idea in a paragraph + always staying on the topic in your supporting sentences 2.3, Coherence: - Supporting sentences should be arranged in logical order and connected by transitions to provide coherence (that other one!) The Latin verb cohere means “hold together” For coherence in writing, the sentences must hold together; that is, the movement from one sentence to the next must be logical and smooth There must be no sudden jumps There are four ways to achieve coherence: Repeat key nouns Use consistent pronouns Use transition signals to link ideas Arrange your ideas in logical order - Arrangement of support sentences might be based on importance (usually least to most), time (usually first to last), or even space (far to near, near to far) just about anything, as long as it serves the writer's purpose Transition words are often used to (7) improve coherence and to reinforce the order in which supporting points are presented Sometimes writers use simple transitions such as these to connect support sentences: "My first challenge at Wilson High School " "The second challenge I encountered " "My final challenge in high school " These sentences not only use transition words (first, second, final), but also repeat the key word challenge This repetition of key words helps the reader keep in mind the main idea of the paragraph a, Repeat key nouns: - The easiest way to achieve coherence is to repeat key nouns frequently in your paragraph Read the model about gold to see how it uses this technique to smooth the flow of sentences The key words in this paragraph are gold Gold Gold, a precious metal, is prized for two important characteristics First of all, gold has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion Therefore, it is suitable for jewelry, coins, and ornamental purposes Gold never needs to be polished and will remain beautiful forever For example, a Macedonian coin remains as untarnished today as the day it was made 25 centuries ago Another important characteristic of gold is its usefulness to industry and science For many years, it has been used in hundreds of industrial applications, such as photography and dentistry The most recent use of gold is in astronauts’ suits Astronauts wear gold-plated heat shields for protection when they go outside spaceships in space In conclusion, gold is treasured not only for its beauty but also for its utility b, Use consistent pronouns: - Be consistent in point of view, verb tense, and number Consistency in point of view, verb tense, and number is a subtle important aspect of coherence If you shift from the mode of personal "you" to the impersonal “one,” from past to present tense, or from “a man” to “they,” for example, you make your paragraph less coherent Such inconsistencies can also confuse your reader and make your argument more difficult to follow - When you use pronouns, make sure that you use the same person and number throughout your paragraph Don’t change from you to he or she (change of person ) or from he to they( change of number) (8) c, Use transition signals to link ideas - Now, look at this paragraph Can you identify the main points? Each of the U.S manned space exploration projects had specific major goals The Mercury project was designed to test whether or not human beings could survive and function in outer space The Mercury project tested rockets with the new Mercury space capsule, which could hold one person The Gemini project was intended to find out whether two people could work in the weightless environment of space Gemini astronauts took "spacewalks." They floated outside their spacecraft in a spacesuit, connected to it by a tether Gemini astronauts tried out new flying skills Some astronauts flew two spacecraft extremely close together; this procedure was called "rendezvous." On some Gemini flights, astronauts physically linked two spacecraft together Linking, or "space docking," was a major goal of the Gemini program The Apollo project, with three astronauts, was intended to test spacecraft and skills so that people could actually fly to the Moon and land on it Performing scientific experiments on the lunar surface and collecting rocks for study on Earth were goals -Was this paragraph a little confusing to read? Now consider the same paragraph with a few changes: Each of the U.S manned space exploration projects had specific major goals For example, the Mercury project was designed to test whether or not human beings could survive and function in outer space In addition, the Mercury project tested rockets with the new Mercury space capsule, which could hold one person As another example, the Gemini project was intended to find out whether two people could work in the weightless environment of space One way of doing this was by having Gemini astronauts take "spacewalks." That is, they floated outside their spacecraft in a spacesuit, connected to it by a tether Gemini astronauts also tried out new flying skills For example, some astronauts flew two spacecraft extremely close together; this procedure was called "rendezvous." On some Gemini flights, astronauts physically linked two spacecraft together This linking, or "space docking," was a major goal of the Gemini program Finally, the Apollo project, with three astronauts, had the goal of testing spacecraft and skills so that people could actually fly to the Moon and land on it Other goals included performing scientific experiments on the lunar surface and collecting rocks for study on Earth (9) - Do you see which of the connectors above are major and which are minor? The major ones are For example in the second sentence, which introduces the first supporting point (the Mercury program); As another example, which begins the second main point (the Gemini program); and the word Finally, which introduces the third and last main point (the Apollo moon program) - As for the minor connectors, we can divide them into three groups The first group of minor connectors provides coherence for the first main point (the Mercury program) There is only one minor connector in this first group, In addition, although it is possible to have more than one, depending on how many details you have to support your first main point The second group of minor connectors consists of That is, also, and also the phrase For example in the sentence, "For example, some astronauts " Notice that this last minor connector is the same as the major connector at the beginning of the paragraph However, the function of each is different, depending on the meaning of the sentences The third group of minor connectors in this particular paragraph also has one member, which are other goals included Here is a table of a few common connectors (also called transitions) Relationship English Transition Words and Phrases Adding information Comparing ideas Conceding a point also, and, as well, besides, equally important, finally, furthermore, in addition, moreover, then, too,… in like manner, in the same way, likewise, similarly,… agreed, certainly, granted, obviously, of course, to be sure,… at the same time, but, conversely, even so, even though, however, in contrast, nevertheless, nonetheless, on the one hand, on the other hand, still, yet,… Providing an as an illustration, as can be seen by, for example, for instance, in example other words, namely, specifically, to illustrate,… afterward, before, currently, eventually, finally, first, (second, third, Relating time fourth, fifth?), immediately, in the future, in the past, later, less and order of important, meanwhile, most important, next, often, sometimes, soon, ideas subsequently, then, today, when,… Resulting accordingly, as a result, consequently, so, thereby, therefore, thus,… from the Contrasting ideas (10) previous idea Showing relative location Summarizing ideas Adjacent, at the side, between, here, in the back, in the background, in the distance, in the foreground, in the front, nearby, there, to the side,… finally, hence, in brief, in conclusion, in short, in summary, that is, that is to say, to sum up,… - Since support sentences can be somewhat general, they usually require the proof provided by detail/example sentences, explanations, facts, and statistic -It is not enough to say, "My first challenge at Wilson High School was studying enough to make good grades and stay on the honor roll."This statement may support the main idea of the paragraph, but the statement still needs to be proven How much was enough? Why was it a challenge? Can the writer give convincing details or examples to prove it? Consider this example: [ topic sentence] My senior year of high school was challenging [support sentence] My first challenge at Wilson High School was studying enough to make good grades and stay on the honor roll [detail/ example] I often studied past midnight, even though I had to get up at 6:00 a.m to be ready in time to catch the school bus [detail/ example] When I was studying for my chemistry mid-term in Ms Beasley's class, I never went to bed at all but I made an "A" on the exam! - Although this paragraph is unfinished, you can see how important the details are to its development Without them, the supporting points not really mean much; they not seem as real or immediate to the reader Notice the use of names, specific times, and concrete details You may have good ideas without providing the detail to support them, but your goal is to convince your reader Good use of details and examples will help you get your main idea across -The short paragraph in this lesson is a fairly complete paragraph, but it lacks details Whenever possible, you should include enough details in your paragraphs to help your reader understand exactly what you are writing about In the paragraph about Wheaton, three natural landmarks are mentioned, but we not know very much about them For example, we could add a sentence or two about Wheaton river concerning HOW wide it is or WHY it is beautiful Consider this revision (and note the additional details in bold): (11) My hometown, Wheaton, is famous for several amazing natural features First, it is noted for the Wheaton River, which is very wide and beautiful On either side of this river, which is 175 feet wide, are many willow trees which have long branches that can move gracefully in the wind In autumn the leaves of these trees fall and cover the riverbanks like golden snow Second, on the other side of the town is Wheaton Hill, which is unusual because it is very steep Even though it is steep, climbing this hill is not dangerous, because there are some firm rocks along the sides that can be used as stairs There are no trees around this hill, so it stands clearly against the sky and can be seen from many miles away The third amazing feature is the Big Old Tree This tree stands two hundred feet tall and is probably about six hundred years old These three landmarks are truly amazing and make my hometown a famous place - If we wished, we could also add more details to the paragraph to describe the third natural feature of the area, the Big Old Tree - Why are details important? Consider the example of the hamburger If the hamburger buns are the topic and concluding sentences, then the meat, the cheese, the lettuce, and so on are the supporting details Without the food between the hamburger buns, your hamburger would not be very delicious! Similarly, without supporting details, your paragraph would not be very interesting d, Arrange your ideas in logical order You can order your supporting sentences in different ways: Chronological order /Time order Logical division of ideas Comparison/contrast Eg: Paragraph 1: The process of machine translation of languages is complex To translate a document from English into Japanese, for example, the computer first analyzes an English sentence, determining its grammatical structure and identifying the subject, verb, objects, and modifiers Next, the words are translated by an English- Japanese dictionary After that, another part of the computer program analyzes the resulting awkward jumble of words and meanings and produces an intelligible sentence based on the rules of Japanese syntax and the machine understands of what the original English sentence meant Finally, a human bilingual editor polishes the computerproduced translation This paragraph uses chronological order (12) Paragraph 2: These are the differences between the traditional family and the modern one Firstly, The typical size of traditional family has more than two generations living together For example; a married couple could live with their relatives under one roof whereas the modern family almost has from three to four people Secondly, the role of family members is different from each other For instance, in traditional family, the man is always the bread - winner while the woman is the housewife The woman has to the housework, take care of their children and serve her parents-inlaw Next, the role of the man and woman in modern one is equal To illustrate, they both work outside They share their housework and their thoughts Likewise, children are brought up by their parents Finally, the relationship of the traditional family is different from modern family In particular, the family lives and works together so the family relationship is attached whereas the modern family has no time together The parents work all day and the children learn whole day They rarely spend time for other members In short, the traditional family differs from the modern one on many aspects There are both good and bad differences between the families This paragraph uses comparison Why is order important? - Random sentences cause confusion - Without organization of your sentences, it's hard to tell what your main idea is - Order helps you make your point, and helps the reader follow along from one idea to the next one, until you prove your conclusion 3, The Concluding Sentence: A concluding sentence serves two purposes: - It signals the end of the paragraph - It leaves the reader with the most important ideas to remember It can this in two ways: + By summarizing the main points of the paragraph + By repeating the topic sentence in different words (13) - You can understand concluding sentences with this example Consider a hamburger that you can buy at a fast-food restaurant A hamburger has a top bun (a kind of bread), meat, cheese, lettuce, and other elements in the middle of the hamburger, and a bottom bun Note how the top bun and the bottom bun are very similar The top bun, in a way, is like a topic sentence, and the bottom bun is like the concluding sentence Both buns "hold" the meat, onions, and so on Similarly, the topic sentence and concluding sentence "hold" the supporting sentences in the paragraph Let's see how a concluding sentence (in bold font) might look in our sample paragraph about Wheaton: My hometown is famous for several amazing natural features First, it is noted for the Wheaton River, which is very wide and beautiful Also, on the other side of the town is Wheaton Hill, which is unusual because it is very steep The third amazing feature is the Big Old Tree This tree stands two hundred feet tall and is probably about six hundred years old These three landmarks are truly amazing and make my hometown a famous place Notice how the concluding sentence, these three landmarks are truly amazing and make my hometown a famous place, summarizes the information in the paragraph Notice also how the concluding sentence is similar to, but not exactly the same as the topic sentence -Not all academic paragraphs contain concluding sentences, especially if the paragraph is very short However, if your paragraph is very long, it is a good idea to use a concluding sentence * Note: Never introduce a new idea in the concluding sentence Eg: In my opinion, there are a lot of subjects that interest me, but the one I like most is English because of many reasons First of all, English helps me communicate with people from other countries easily Therefore, I am sure I will not face any difficulty if I study abroad Besides, I can widen my knowledge of the world because of lots of books and newspapers written in English on the Internet Finally, I may get a good job in the future thanks to this language In reality, a large number of big companies have the tendency to employ those speaking English well To sum up, English is my favorite subject due to the reasons mentioned above (Besides I also like Maths.) ->The last sentence introduce a new idea, which breaks the unity of the passage (14) SUMMARY A PARAGRAPH Topic sentence Supporting sentences Concluding sentence Topic Controlling idea Examples Facts Statistics Quotations Unity and coherence (15) III The differentiation between a paragraph and an essay -The principles of organization are the same for both: Both a paragraph and an essay basically have parts: an introduction, a body, and conclusion However, they also have different parts Paragraph Have only one paragraph The three parts of a paragraph: A topic sentence: The topic and the controlling idea 2,Body: Supporting sentences (Give details/examples, statistics, or quotations.) Essay Have about four or five paragraphs The five paragraphs of an essay: An introductory paragraph A Hook(to capture your reader's) attention) General information on assigned topic B Thesis (one-sentence statement of main idea plus viewpoint) 2,Body: Paragraph A: Sub-Point One Topic sentence Details supporting topic sentence (Concluding sentence) Paragraph B: Sub-Point Two Topic sentence Details supporting topic sentence (Concluding sentence) Paragraph C: Sub-Point Three Topic sentence Details supporting topic sentence (Concluding sentence) A concluding sentence A concluding paragraph - Summarize the main points A Paraphrase of thesis - Repeat the topic sentence in different words B Summary of viewpoint C General final statement/comment (16) IV, Five criteria for a good paragraph - Discuss the topic directly - Have a good format( only one paragraph, have an indent at the beginning of a paragraph ) - Unity and coherence - Grammar and vocabulary (Don’t use many simple structures and contractions Use various vocabularies and different kinds of sentences.) - Good ideas PART II: PRACTICE Exercise 1: Identify the sentences in the following paragraph by type: topic sentence, support sentences, and detail/example sentences and transition signals (1) Four-year-olds are a challenge in every way (2) First, they are a physical challenge (3) They move non-stop from the time they bolt out of bed at daybreak until they are forced back into bed at night (4) When did my daughter get to be so fast? (5) Katelyn can dart away from me in a parking lot in a millisecond, zigzagging in and out of sight among a row of parked cars (6) Next, of course, fouryear-olds are an emotional challenge, trying the patience of even their devoted parents (7) So, how does my daughter become so slow at times? (8) The path from the front door to the car can stretch forever and involve inspecting the ground for bugs, picking a flower, or stopping to jump on a nearby tricycle to take it for a quick spin (9) At bedtime, Katelyn can take as long as five minutes to squeeze the toothpaste onto her toothbrush and even longer to choose her bedtime story and her stuffed companion for the nights (10)Finally, four-year-olds are a mental challenge, especially for those of us whose mental abilities are on the wane as a result of four years of harried days and sleepless night (11) "Where babies come from?" is one of the easier questions posed by my four-year-old, the most difficult always being "Why?" (17) Exercise 2: Identify the sentences in the following paragraph by type: topic sentence, support sentences, detail/example sentences and transition signals These are the differences between the traditional family and the modern one Firstly, The typical size of traditional family has more than two generations living together For example, a married couple could live with their relatives under one roof whereas the modern family almost has from three to four people Secondly, the role of family members is different from each other For instance, in traditional family, the man is always the bread winner while the woman is the housewife The woman has to the housework, take care of their children and serve her parents-in-law Next, the role of the man and woman in modern one is equal To illustrate, they both work outside They share their housework and their thoughts Likewise, children are brought up by their parents Finally, the relationship of the traditional family is different from modern family In particular, the family lives and works together so the family relationship is attached whereas the modern family has no time together The parents work all day and the children learn whole day They rarely spend time for other members In short, the traditional family differs from the modern one on many aspects There are both good and bad differences between the families Exercise 3: Identify the sentences in the following paragraph by type: topic sentence, support sentences, detail/example sentences and transition signals Computers have brought about beneficial changes to human life However, they also have some disadvantages First of all, face to face communication has been lost because people spend too much time at their computers For example, children spend hours playing games, chatting and emailing on the net, and adults doing their own things on computers As a result, family members rarely talk to each other as they used to in the past In addition, computers make people have health problems As people spend too much time sitting at computers, they tend to be inactive This inactiveness has caused obesity and many other diseases Finally, immediate access to information on the net can be spiritually harmful and counter-educational For example, within just a few seconds, children watch or read bad websites that are too violent or not intended for their age Consequently, more and more children tend to misbehave because they are misguided by poor-quality information To sum up, we should be aware of these downsides so as to use computers to our great benefits (18) Exercise 4: Identify the unity of the passage People and their favorite pets There are many types of pets in an average household People will often even choose pets according to their personalities Some people like small dogs that are easy to take care of and not demand a lot of attention Some owners prefer strong or vicious dogs, like bulldogs for example Other people might like cats because they are independent and really need no attention at all Birds provide people with a lot of company; if you like bird songs, but their cages need a lot of cleaning A fish tank is great to look at but the tanks must be cleaned often as well Some people even treat their plants like pets and talk to them In a zoo, large animals, like polar bears, are left to themselves in their cages ANSWER: The paragraph is all about house pets and why people have different types of pets and even prefer different types of pets The last sentence about animals in a zoo introduces a new topic and breaks the paragraph unity, because even if it is about animals, it is no longer about house pets Remember: one topic, one paragraph Exercise 5: Identify the unity and coherence It is true that we like to wonder about the world around us, and this it what Thomas writes about He contrasts things as great as the planet Earth with bacteria He clearly thinks we need to be more careful about our environment; if we don’t, we are threatening our future Even a casual dinner party will sometimes find people talking about very scientific things like a virus or beetle I had a pet dog that died after a virus attack of some kind All children grow old and are different from one another because of genetics That’s the way it is ANSWER: This paragraph makes some interesting points; it jumps around far too much from one idea to another It contains five or six potential topic sentences, each of which could anchor a paragraph of its own It is too general to be an introduction paragraph It clearly lacks unity and coherence Remember, one idea, one paragraph (19) Exercise 6: Editing for unity Read the paragraph below Cross out the two sentences that are not about the controlling idea Life in a new Place I am a Thai girl living in the U.S., and there are many adjustments that I must make First of all, I must get used to a new kind of food I am learning to eat a lot of hamburgers they are not expensive and they are easy to buy The people are different and I am learning to meet new foreign friend For example, two of my new friends are from Pakistan.( Pakistan is also an interesting country to visit.) The weather requires another kind of adjustment Some days, it is hot just as in my country, but on other days it is cold and this is very strange for me I came to the U.S to study and I enjoy my classes and my teachers I am adjusting living in the U.S in many ways, but it is not a problem for me because (I like to know about different places and people.) Exercise 7: Instruction: In groups of four, take turns reading these paragraphs out loud Together, determine if the paragraph has support, coherence and unity Vote for the best paragraph Paragraph 1 The punishment of criminals has always been a problem for society Citizens have had to decide whether offenders such as first-degree murderers should be killed in a gas chamber, imprisoned for life, or rehabilitated and given a second chance in society Many citizens argue that serious criminals should be executed They believe that killing criminals will set an example for others and also rid society of a cumbersome burden On the other hand, other citizens claim that no one has the right to take a life and that capital punishment is not a deterrent to crime They believe that society as well as the criminal is responsible for the crimes and that killing the criminal does not solve the problems of either society or the criminal Paragraph It is a fact that capital punishment is not a deterrent to crime Statistics show that in states with capital punishment, murder rates are the same or almost the same as in states without capital punishment It is also true that it is more expensive to put a person on death row than in life imprisonment because of the costs of maximum security Unfortunately, capital punishment has been used unjustly (20) Statistics show that every execution is of a man and that nine out of ten are black So prejudice shows right through Paragraph 3: Many educators believe that college students in the U.S need writing courses in addition to their regular university courses in order to succeed academically Nevertheless, since university students have the largest investment in their college careers, they should be the ones to decide if they need additional writing help or not After all, it is they, not their professors, who face the consequences of poor academic performance In addition, students in the universities should have the opportunity to feel that their academic success is their own responsibility, and is the result of their own decisions A good grade in a university course may represent numerous sacrifices and overcoming of obstacles, from resisting the temptation to spend time with friends instead of studying, to doing extensive reading and writing in a language that is not one's own A final reason that students should be responsible for deciding whether to take writing courses or not is that they can decide if their majors require writing in the long run Students who are interested in fields such fine arts, music and sports may not need writing in their career development For these intricate issues to consider, it is for the best interests of the academia that college students decide their writing needs Paragraph According to many practicing engineers and scientists, they spend half of their time writing memos and reports However, many college students in other fields not realize the importance of writing and show a native attitude You often go into business think your secretaries will all major writing tasks for you In fact, many of us foolishly object to taking courses in writing Students going into the technical or scientific fields may think that writing is something they seldom have to Young business people seldom have private secretaries Our notion that only poets and novelists have to write is unrealistic Other things being equal, a person in any field who can express ideas clearly is sure to succeed Exercise 8: Correct students’ mistakes Paragraph 1: (21) In this passage students know how to use the connectors to link ideas and give the ideas clearly.Supporting sentences prove and explain the topic.However, the introdution is not good at expressing Student uses contractions in this passage and makes grammatical mistakes (22) Paragraph 2: In this paragraph, student makes many mistakes: The format of a paragraph grammartical structures and coherence and unity (23) PART III: ACHIEVEMENT Writing skill needs much time to practice Teachers should encourage students to spend more time practicing both at school and at home because teacher cannot guide and correct all the students’ writing in 45 minutes If students confirm the elements of a paragraph, and know how to organize their ideas, their writing will become better After guiding the students the ways of writing a paragraph, my students feel more confident in their writing They are no longer passive in writing paragraph They know how to arrange detailed sentences with the coherence and unity to support the main idea As a result, many students get good grades for their paragraphs and their writing skill improves day by day I hope my study will help students write paragraphs well Lập Thạch, ngày 01/11/2015 Người thực Nguyễn Thị Hà (24)