AN ASSESSMENT OF TRANSLATION OF“LOVE STORY”By Rick

THANGLONG UNIVERSITY ENGLISH DEPARTMENT AN ASSESSMENT OF TRANSLATION OF “LOVE STORY” By Rick Supervisor: Student’s name: Student’s code: PHAM THAI SON, MA NGO VIET ANH A31940 Hanoi – 26/02/2021 TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION……………………………………………………….4 THEORETICAL BACKROUND……………………………………… 2.1 About Translation……………… …………………………… 2.2 Translation method………………………………… ………… 2.2.1 The intention of text…………………………………………….6 2.2.2 The intention of translator……………………………………….6 2.2.3 Readership……………………………………………….…….6 2.2.4 Stylistic scales…………………………………………….……7 2.2.5 Setting of the text……………………………………….….… 2.2.6 Quality of the Source Text ……………………………….…… 2.3 Translation method………………………………………… ………8 2.3.1 Adaptation ……………………………………….…………….8 2.4 Translation procedures……………………………………………….8 2.4.1 Literal translation……………………………………………….8 2.4.2 Modulation…………………………………………………… 2.4.2.1 Abstract > Concrete ………………………………………9 2.4.2.2 Positive > Negative……………………………………….9 2.4.2.3 Change of symbols……………………………………… 2.4.3 Addition ………………………………………………………… 2.4.4 Paraphrase………………………………………………………9 TRANSLATION ASSESSMENT………………………………………….10 3.1 The author’s attention……………………………………………… 10 3.2 The translator’s attention…………………………………………… 10 3.3 Text type…………………………………………………………….10 3.4 The readership………………………………………………………10 3.5 Stylistic scale …………………………………………………… 10 3.6 Quality of the Source text …………………………………………… 10 3.7 Comparing the translation with the original.…………………………10 3.7.1 Literal translation………………………………………………10 3.7.2 Abstract > Concrete ………………………………………… 11 3.7.3 Positive > Negative…………………………………………….12 3.7.4 Change of symbols…………………………………………….12 3.7.5 Addition……………………………………………………….12 CONCLUSION……………………………………………………… .14 References…………………………………………………………… 15 Appendices…………………………………………………………… 16 INTRODUCTION Languages have always dominated international trade and intercultural communication throughout history In ancient times, Latin played a major role in European communication Because of globalization, increasing immigration, free trade and open state borders, a common language is needed more than ever In this age people are likely to encounter not only different languages, but also cultures, habits, religion and different beliefs every day When this happens, we need to know how to manage these differences effectively and avoid misunderstandings The main objective of this thesis is to present the strategies and methods of translation, the translation procedures as well as the concrete examples and their potential translations of the song "Love Story" by Rick The first chapter is an introduction where the content of each chapter is indicated and the sources are defined The chapter of the thesis consists of a theoretical background containing translation definitions and a brief history Since translators approach their tasks in many ways, every method cannot be represented in this thesis Therefore, only a few, subjectively the most important ones, are presented The differences between English and Vietnamese are also revealed in the theoretical background To fully understand the language during translation is necessary and it also means to know what language family it belongs to, what type of language it is, how the word classes are created, how does the sentence structure belongs All of the units mentioned are described in this chapter It will be compared to the Vietnamese language in order to emphasize the structure of the English language The second chapter – Text Analysis – relates to the evaluation of lyrical translation The text analysis, the translation method and the translation procedures used in this translation will be shown The following chapter concludes that everything has been summarized and resolved References, abstracts and appendices can be found in the final chapters CHAPTER 1: THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK 2.1 About translation Although, present-day international communication depends heavily on translation and “documentary evidence of translation can be traced back for at least two millennia” (Bell, 1991), translation is a relatively new field of academic discipline Traditionally, translators were concerned mainly with the literary and aesthetic aspects of the text in the target language (TL) It was not before the 20th century when translation gained more of a linguistic approach The first translation-oriented linguistic papers were published in the 1930s Then in the 1960s, a large number of linguistic works about the translation theory were written Dubois (1973) in Bell’s (1991) translation: “Translation is the expression in another language (or TL) of what has been expressed in another, source language, preserving semantic and stylistic equivalences.” Mary N Layoun (1995) presents translation as “but not only, the putative transfer from one language and culture to another It is, but not only, the interpretative representation of the strange and foreign as, if not familiar, at least plot table and arguably comprehensible in more or less familiar terms.” Layout also considers the relationship between translation and communication: “It has become clear that translational thinking is fundamental to all of human communication and that indeed all acts of communication are acts of translation.” Of course, more definitions, points of view and opinions could be presented; however, the used examples were hopefully sufficient to gain a notion about what a translation is and how diverse it can get At the end of this summary it is suitable to quote Mounin’s complaint perhaps to help the future generation of translators: “The only pity about a translation is that it is not the original A translator's basic job is to translate and then, if he finds his translation inadequate, to help the reader to move a little nearer to the meaning.” (Newmark, 1988) 2.2 Text analysis Text analysis plays an important role in translation process, thus, it is always paid attention by both the translator and the translation researcher according to Newmark (1988), analysis of a text is a procedure in which the translator must read the text, find out the intention of the text, text styles, readership, as well as stylistic scales, attitude, setting besides, the translator has to take into account the quality of the writing, and before translating, he/she has to read the text the last time 2.2.1 The intention of text Understanding text styles is an important step in analyzing text The intention of text represents the source language (SL) writer’s attitude of the text or subject matter It’s necessary to pay special attention to the type of language and even the grammatical structure, the title may be remote from the content as well as the intention 2.2.2 The intention of translator In reading, the translator, as Newmark (1988) stated, searches for the intention of the text, he/she cannot isolate this from understanding it the intention of the text is shown through the selecting means like grammatical structures, vocabulary of the writer, for example two texts describe the same subject as a battle, for instance, the positive text uses positive expressions, vocabulary such as hopefully, luckily… However, the negative text, conversely, uses negative expressions, vocabulary like unfortunately, it is a pity that "The intention of the text represents the SL writer's attitude to the subject matter” (Newmark 1988) The first and most important task, therefore, is to search for the intention of the text And, according to Newmark (1988), "usually the intention of the translator is the same as the intention of the source text author." But sometimes the translator adapts it to make it suitable for new readership 2.2.3 Readership The readership is a group of readers to whom the text is directed, and this group is marked by the level of education, class, age and sex In translation, as Newmark (1988) argued, the readership of the SL text should be characterized, and then the readership of the translation should decide how much attention should be paid to the readers of TL And Newmark (1988) argues that there is a tendency to translate "educated, middle-class readership in an informal, colloquial style." There are three types of readership: an expert, an educated layman, and a uniformed one 2.2.4 Stylistic scales To understand and form as suitable text, the translator has to identify the stylistic scales of the text For example, basing on the formality, texts can be divided: officials, formal, neutral, informal, colloquial, slang and taboo, basing on the generality and difficulty, texts can be divided into simple, popular, neutral, educated, technical and opaquely technical and basing on emotional tone: intense, warm, factual and understatement 2.2.5 Setting of the text To learn about the text settings suggested by Newmark (1988) is to find out where the text will be published in TL, the TL equivalent of the SL periodical, newspaper, textbook Customers and their requirements also take into account the 'briefer title, lack of subtitles and sub-headings, shorter paragraphs and other features of the TL house-style' The translator has to make "a number of assumptions" about the readership, that is, who they are, their education 2.2.6 Quality of the Source Text Another important thing that the translator needs to pay attention to is the quality of the SL in order to choose a translation method Quality writing, as Newmark (1988) claimed, depends on the author's writing skills, the author's intention and the requirement of the subject matter A text is considered to be well-written when the correct words are used in the right places, it has a minimum of redundancy, it is logical, The authority of the text is subject to the status of the author in his field Of course, if the text is written by an expert, the accuracy is better If the text is written with "stereotyped phrased, not well written" at that time, the translator will have to deal with the badly written text 2.3 Translation method For a good translator, which could be considered the utmost importance and the guideline in translation job is translation methodology It has been a central problem whether to translate "literally or freely" at least since the first century BC Many years have gone, some methods have been identified and Newmark (1988) has put the argument in the form of a flattened V diagram as the following: Word for word translation, Literal translation, Faithful translation, Semantic translation, Communicative translation, Idiomatic translation, Free translation, Adaptation but in this essay I just want to focus on Adaptation 2.3.1 Adaptation Adaptation depends on the particular market or style “This is the 'freest' form of translation.” (Newmark, 1988) It is mostly applied in plays where the poetry, comedy, themes, plot and characters are preserved, but the text rewritten Adaptation can also work when the SL and TL are the same 2.4 Translation procedures Translation procedures are methods used by translators when formulating equivalence for the purpose of transferring meaning elements from SL to TL Translation procedures are used for sentences and smaller language units More than one procedure may be used in one translation, and some translations may result from a cluster of procedures that is difficult to identify In this essay, I'm going to focus on Literal Translation, Modulation, Addition and Omission 2.4.1 Literal translation Literal translation ranges from one word to one word, through group to group, collocation to collocation, clause to clause, to sentence to sentence For example, SL said “Nhiều khách du lịch nước ngồi giới thiệu cho chúng tơi khách sạn Mường Thanh” It is translated “Many foreign tourists have introduced us about Muong Thanh Hotel” 2.4.2 Modulation Variation through change of viewpoint, of perspective, and very often of category of thought introducing a clarification with respect to the original formulation 2.4.2.1 Abstract > Concrete Sometime difficult to find a Vietnamese meaning with a similar meaning to an English or set expression, but which is expressed differently A good example is the translation for (SL) “Sleep in open” it means “Thức ngủ cách đề phòng cảnh giác” (TL) 2.4.2.2 Positive > Negative The positive and negative connotation is often conveyed in English it can be difficult to know which verb to use in the Vietnamese For example, (SL) Tom is given present by Mary > (TL) Tom Mary tặng quà, or (SL) Anh bị ngã > (TL) He falls 2.4.2.3 Change of symbols Most of the English words have many meanings; the exact meaning of one word can be expressed only in context, as in the following example , “Mr Trump ran for cabinet so he was a fair game for the press” The word “ran” is the past and past participle of “run” which mean “chạy, vận hành, chạy trốn, tranh cử…” this sentence can be translated “Mr Trump tranh cử vào phủ ơng mục tiêu đáng ý cho báo giới soi mói” 2.4.3 Addition In some cases, sentences in the SL sometimes is not enough clear when translated in to the SL Addition procedure will be used to solve this problem 2.4.4 Paraphrase This strategy can be used when translating an English word or concept that does not exist in Vietnamese, or when the Vietnamese term for it does not include all the meanings conveyed by the English term for the same concept For example, (SL) “Pregnant women should avoid alcohol.” (TL) “phụ nữ mang thai nên tránh uống rượu” In English the word “alcohol” includes all alcoholic beverages in its meaning However, the Vietnamese word for alcohol, “rượu” CHAPTER 2: EVALUATE THE TRANSLATION OF “LOVE STORY” 3.1 The author’s attention When I read SL for the first time, I'll probably know that the song compares the love story of two people to the famous story of Mario and Juliet It is appropriate for young people 3.2 The translator’s attention Translator has used the adaptation method to rewrite the text In the process of translating, the translator had used specific word to match the Vietnamese style Then, help us to feel closer to the text 3.3 Text type In this text, the text is only a moment of life, the words are used as telling a girl’s story For instance, “we were both young when I first saw you” > “in this sentence definitely is a recounting of a memory Therefore, the text type is narrative 3.4 The readership 10 According to the text, words in the text that point to the object is the Educated layman When use words that anyone can understand 3.5 Stylistic scale Scale of emotional tone is used in this text is intense The words such as “let’s”, “don’t” are used to make the text more intensive 3.6 Quality of the Source text Depending on the author's writing skill, we can see that he/she is good writer one when uses the right words in right places 3.7 Comparing the translation with the original 3.7.1 Literal translation SL TL Love story Câu chuyện tình yêu You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess Anh hoàng tử, cịn em cơng chúa Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone Romeo cứu em, em cảm thấy cô đơn I keep waiting for you but you never come Em đợi anh anh không đến And said Và nói The translator’s goal should be to reproduce in a receptor language a text which communicates the same message as the source language but using the natural grammatical and lexical choices of the target language In this case, “love story” the word “love” means “tình yêu”, and the word “story” means “câu chuyện” when translated into TL, it does not change the word, bt only changes the order More example, at the end of the song the word “and said” which “and” means “và”, “said” means “nói” is translated “và nói” in Vietnamese 3.7.2 Abstract > Concrete 11 SL See the lights You were throwing pebbles A little while Scarlet letter TL Giữa ánh sáng rực rỡ Là người mà em chờ đợi Chốc lát Em người anh yêu The characteristics of meaning components are referred as a phenomenon of the differences among languages For example, "Scarlet letter" means "chữ đỏ thấm" This word denotes the stigma that a person experiences after committing wrongdoing This idiom is often used to refer to a person subject to everyone's boycott and a shame in society A beautiful young woman was forced to carry the letter "A" (which stands for Adultery), which is crimson and embroidered on her chest for life because she was committed to adultery Going back to the song by Taylor Swift, this sentence “Because you were Mario, I was a scarlet letter/ And my daddy said stay away from Juliet” can be understood as “Vì anh Mario, em người anh yêu (The girl take Mario away from Juliet)/ Hiện Juliet khơng có đây, cha em nói thế” Another example, the word “A little white” means “little time” 3.7.3 Positive > Negative SL Stay away TL Khơng có According to the theory the positive and negative connotation is often conveyed in English it can be difficult to know which verb to use in the Vietnamese Obviously, the word “stay away” means “tránh xa” if keep the original meaning like this, the sentence in TL will become “bố em nói tránh xa khỏi Juliet” it í a bit strange in Vietnamese, as a result, the translator uses a negative sentence to better match the TL 3.7.4 Change of symbols SL We can be alone Run White dress TL Chỉ có đơi ta tồn Bỏ chốn Đám cưới 12 According to the theory mentioned above, in English, one word can have many meanings In this essay, I will analyze some word like that Firstly, the word “alone” means “cơ độc, trơ trọi, mình, riêng…” In this sentence the word “alone” can be translated “chỉ có đơi ta tồn tại” Secondly, the word “run” which I mentioned in the example of the theory It means “chạy, vận hành, chạy trốn, tranh cử …” in this case, the translator chose “bỏ chốn” because it is most suitable Finally, “white dress” In many societies the color white has long been associated with purity and virtue, and that is one reason why some brides choose to wear white, especially in the West This is reason why translator chooses “đám cưới” 3.7.5 Addition SL Close my eyes On a balcony of summer air I was crying on the staircase Try to tell me how it is Don’t be afraid I got time to waiting TL Khép hờ đôi mắt Trên ban công buổi tối mùa hè Đứng cầu thang em khóc thật nhiều Đang cố làm cho em hiểu Xin anh đừng sợ Em mệt mỏi phải chờ đợi In this case, some sentences in SL are not enough to clear meaning to the reader when translating into the TL Therefore, the translator has used addition procedure to clarify the meaning and cultural suitability of the reader in the TL “close my eyes” means “khép mắt” but the translator wants to make the translation more interesting, adding the word “hờ” is a good idead Vietnamese readers can feel this is a mood of love “On a balcony of summer air” just means “trên ban công bầu trời mùa hè” absolutely not mentioned “buổi tối” “I was crying on the staircase” if translated in the original meaning without addition procedure will be “em khóc cầu thang” 13 CONCLUSION In short, nobody can deny the importance of translation in the "global village." Translation in Vietnam-English, in particular, has not ceased to play an indispensable role since its inception in translating messages across the two languages, Vietnam and English, as well as cultural barriers Thanks to this, people understand each other more in the process of diplomatic relations and economic cooperation and in other areas of today's era, when both countries tend to integrate for the sake of development as a whole The essay is divided into three main chapters Introduction provides the general outline of the essay, to begin with Second, the theoretical background to the translation, based on the Newmark model Next, through the translation of the "love story," we can see that the translator has successfully accomplished the task of giving the reader the exact meaning of the original version Translator uses the adaptation method to convey the general meaning of sentences and words Translation procedures such as literal translation, modulation and addition are also used 14 RREFERRENCES English Newmark, Peter (1989), A Textbook of Translation, Printice Hall International, Herfordside Victoria Bull, Fourth edition, Oxford Learner’s Pocket Dictionary, Oxford University Press Bell, R (1991), Translation and Translating: Theory and Practice, Longman, New York Tu Anh (2005), English-Vietnamese translation techniques Vietnamese Trần Văn Diệm (1998), 57 luận Anh văn, Dong A Language School, Nhà xuất trẻ TP Hồ Chí Minh 15 Appendices SL Love story We were both young when I first saw you I close my eyes And the flashback starts I’m standing there On a balcony of summer air See the lights, See the party the ball gowns I see you make your way throwing crowd You say hello Little did I know That you were Romeo you were throwing pebbles And my daddy said stay away from Juliet And I was crying on the staircase Begging you please don’t go, and I said 16 Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone I’ll be waiting all there’s left to is run You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess It’s a love story baby just say yes So I sneak out to the garden to see you We keep quite cause we’re dead if they know So close your eyes Let’s keep this down for a little while Cause you were Romeo I was a scarlet letter And my daddy said stay away from Juliet But you were everything to me And I was begging you please don’t go and I said Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone I’ll be waiting all there’s left to is run You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess It’s a love story baby just say yes Romeo save me, then try to tell me how it is This love is difficult, but it’s real Don’t be afraid We’ll make it out of looseness It’s a love story baby just say yes, oh I got time to waiting Wondering if you would ever coming around My faith in you was fading When I met you on the outskirts to town I said Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone I keep waiting for you bt you never come Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think He fells to the ground and pulled out a ring And said 17 Marry me Juliet you’ll never have to be alone I love you and that’s all the reason for I talk to your dad go pick out a white dress It’s a love story baby just say yes Oh, oh, oh Oh ,oh, oh, oh Cause we were both young when I first saw you… TL Câu chuyện tình yêu Lần em gặp anh hai ta trẻ Khi em khép hờ đơi mắt Và thứ bất đầu từ Em đứng ban công buổi tối mùa hè Giữa ánh sáng rự rỡ Giữa bữa tiệc xa hoa Những bóng bay đầy màu sắc Em thấy anh bước qua đám đông đến bên em Cất tiếng chào Rất khẽ em biết Anh chàng Romeo, người em chờ đợi Nhưng nàng Juliet khơng có đây, cha em nói thê Và đứng cầu thang em khóc thật nhiều Xin anh đừng bỏ thế… Romeo mang em thật xa, nơi có đơi ta tồn Em đợi để anh bỏ trốn Anh hồng tử, cịn em cơng chúa 18 Và câu chuyện tình u chúng ta, khơng anh? Em chạy vội vườn để trông thấy anh Hãy im lặng không họ nghe thấy Ãy nhắm mắt lại Cùng thoát khỏi chốn chốc lát thơi, anh Vì anh Romeo em người anh yêu Hiện Julieet khơng có đây, cha em nói Nhưng anh tất đời em Vì xin anh đừng bỏ nhé, em xin anh… Romeo mang em thật xa, nơi có đơi ta tồn Em đợi để cung anh bỏ trốn Anh hoang tử, cịn em cơng chúa Và câu chuyện tình u chúng ta, khơng anh? Romeo, cứu em họ cố làm cho em hiểu Tình yêu khơng thể, thật phải khơng anh Xin anh đừng sợ hãi Chúng ta tìm cách khỏi tình cảnh Vì câu chuyện tình u chúng ta, phải khơng anh? Oh, oh… Em mệt mỏi phải chờ đợi Tự hỏi anh nơi đâu Khuôn mặt em anh phai dần Khi em gặp anh đâu thị trấn này, em nói Romeo cứu em, em cảm thấy cô đơn Em đợi anh anh không đến Trong đầu em lúc này, em khơng biết phải nghĩ Chỉ mong anh quỳ xuống rút nhẫn Và nói Hãy cưới anh, Juliet, em cô đơn Anh yêu em tất điều anh biết 19 Anh nói với cha em, làm lễ cưới Vì câu chuyện tình u chúng ta, phải không em? Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Vì lần đầu gặp cịn trẻ… http://vietsubsongs.blogspot.com/2016/10/loi-dich-bai-hat-love-story-taylorswift.html 20 ... positive expressions, vocabulary such as hopefully, luckily… However, the negative text, conversely, uses negative expressions, vocabulary like unfortunately, it is a pity that "The intention of the... thesis Therefore, only a few, subjectively the most important ones, are presented The differences between English and Vietnamese are also revealed in the theoretical background To fully understand... structure of the English language The second chapter – Text Analysis – relates to the evaluation of lyrical translation The text analysis, the translation method and the translation procedures