LEADERSHIP & SUCCESS In Relationships & Communication Personal or internal actions Marcus O Durham, PhD Robert A Durham, PhD Rosemary Durham Dream Point Publishers Tulsa Leadership & Success In Relationships & Communication Personal or internal actions Contact: THEWAY Corp P.O Box 33124 Tulsa, OK 74153 www.ThewayCorp.com mod@superb.org Cover Design: Rosemary & Marcus Durham Cover photo: “At the Top”, DreamPoint Ranch, OK taken by Richard Garlington Printed in United States of America First printing by Fidlar Doubleday, January 2005 Second printing by Fidlar Doubleday, January 2006 Library of Congress Control Number ISBN: 978-0-9719324-4-1 Copyright © 2005-2006 by Marcus O Durham All rights reserved under International Copyright Law Contents and/or cover may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form without the express written consent of the Publisher TO Pettie Beason Durham, my Mom, who taught me by getting things done while others were thinking about it In Memoriam: William O Durham, D Min., my Dad, who taught me about leadership through example, before I knew its importance During his youth, because of the Great Depression, he only went through the eighth grade At age 79, he completed his Doctorate ⇐⇑⇒ TABLE OF CONTENTS Title Page Leadership & success series 13 Where we are going 12 Who you think you are? 14 First Personal, interpersonal, leadership Success machine model Plan Goal setting Surpass yourself Interaction Technology terminology Leadership issues Review 14 15 16 18 19 20 20 21 22 23 Personality temperament 25 Wiring Development environments Assessment Blend Results Interpretation Tradition, tradition Fast forward D A Choleric Validity Correlation Review 25 27 28 31 32 32 33 35 36 38 39 41 Personality style 43 Transition Control model Characteristics of types D A Choleric, expressive logic 43 43 47 47 Table of Contents I C Sanguine, expressive feeling S S Phlegmatic, controlled feeling C T Melancholy, controlled logic Counterpoints Negative logic, destructive Negative feeling, indecisive Uncontrolled feeling, stubborn Uncontrolled logic, cantankerous Other indicators Direction Common negatives Parting shot Impressions Use in leadership Review 49 50 51 53 53 54 54 55 55 56 57 60 61 62 63 Leadership style 65 Three influences What style Blake & Mouton grid Theory x – theory y Theory z Teams Assessments One for the money Two for the show Three to get ready What next Vision Review 65 66 67 69 70 70 71 72 75 77 79 80 80 Leadership foundations 82 Leadership development Leader or boss 10 Qualities of Successful Leaders 80 / 20 Am I enough Time to yourself Delegation Organizational Structures Assessment Review 82 83 85 86 88 91 92 94 95 96 Character: Leaders have values 98 Leadership & Success in Organization & Culture Society needs A little history Virtue Morality Integrity Compassion Charisma Calm Patience Kindness Confidence Genteelness Control Freedom Categorical Review Durham 98 101 102 102 102 103 103 104 104 104 105 105 106 107 108 109 Motivation 111 Where from What is it High performers Assessment Maslow hierarchy of needs Positive and negative motivation Resolving difficulties Review 111 111 113 115 116 118 120 124 Communication 126 What is it Communication cues Keep it positive Gentleman with class Conversation Telephone Electronic mail Grammar Parlor games What did you say Review 126 127 129 130 131 133 134 135 138 139 140 Presentations 142 What is it Apprehension Kinesis demonstration 142 142 144 Table of Contents Ten steps for overcoming Your topics The paper Visuals Presentation Presentation humor Practice presentation Assessment Review 146 147 149 151 154 156 158 159 160 10 Non-verbal communication 162 What you see First impression Attire Photography Basic wardrobe Facial care and grooming Handshake Exercise Review 162 163 164 168 170 171 173 174 175 11 Kinesics 177 What you know Body language Body temperament profile Facial expressions Eye expressions Hand expression Body images What you Review 177 177 179 182 184 187 190 193 194 12 Graphology 196 Handwriting History Procedure Three zones Three figures Seven shapes Size Angle Termination Humps Circular 196 197 198 199 200 201 201 202 203 204 205 10 Leadership & Success in Organization & Culture Stems Crossing Review Durham 206 207 208 13 Review via aphorisms 210 A pithy saying Principles End 210 212 214 14 About the authors 215 Personal - MOD Marcus O Durham Robert A Durham Rosemary Durham Cover 215 217 218 219 220 ⇐⇑⇒ ... directly Relationships and communication is most interesting and intriguing Think about it Everything we is defined by how we interact with others, while the topic of communication includes everything... each topic in this series Topics that specifically address influencing groups include business structure, continuous improvement, and negotiations 16 Leadership & Success in Organization & Culture... is the topic of Leadership and Success? How can you benefit from skills in leadership? Can there be success without leadership in some area? Are the principles the same for an individual, a group,