Ethical intelligence five principles for untangling your toughest problems at work and beyond

More praise for Ethical Intelligence “Dr Weinstein shows how ethical intelligence is an essential component of the good life I love this book!” — Denise Austin, fitness expert and author of Get Energy! “Ethical Intelligence will help you make smart decisions everywhere you go And it’s not just for business leaders; it’s for everyone.” — Deborah Norville, TV personality and author of The Power of Respect ET HICAL INTELLIGENCE OTHER BOOKS BY DR BRUCE WEINSTEIN AS EDITOR Ethics in the Hospital Setting Dental Ethics Ethical Issues in Pharmacy AS AUTHOR What Should I Do? Simple Steps to Making Better Decisions in Everyday Life Life Principles: Feeling Good by Doing Good Is It Still Cheating If I Don’t Get Caught? (for young adults) ETHICAL INTELLIGENCE Five Principles for Untangling Your Toughest Problems at Work and Beyond BRUCE WEINSTEIN, PHD The Ethics Guyđ New World Library Novato, California Copyright â 2011 by Bruce Weinstein All rights reserved This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, or other — without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review Please note that nothing in this book should be considered legal or psychological advice The stories are true or are based on events that happened In some cases, the author has changed names and other details to protect confidentiality A different version of some of this material appeared in Bloomberg Businessweek Online Text design by Tona Pearce Myers Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Weinstein, Bruce D Ethical intelligence : five principles for untangling your toughest problems at work and beyond / Bruce Weinstein p cm Includes bibliographical references and index ISBN 978-1-60868-054-2 (pbk : alk paper) Applied ethics Business ethics I Title BJ1031.W38 2011 170—dc23 2011028707 First printing, October 2011 ISBN 978-1-60868-054-2 Printed in Canada on 100% postconsumer-waste recycled paper New World Library is a proud member of the Green Press Initiative 10 For Ed Askinazi, Jeff Clarkson, Will Hood, and B David Joffe —four terrific, lifelong, and ethically intelligent friends Contents PART Understanding the Five Principles of Ethical Intelligence Chapter 1: Introducing the Principles Chapter 2: The Five Principles of Ethical Intelligence Chapter 3: Revisiting the Quiz: What’s Your Ethics IQ? Chapter 4: Ten Questions about Ethics and Ethical Intelligence PART Ethical Intelligence at Work Chapter 5: Plays Well with Others: Ethical Intelligence with the People Who Work with You Chapter 6: Are You a Good Leader? Ethical Intelligence with the People Who Work for You Chapter 7: You’re Not the Boss of Me! Oh, Wait a Second — You Are: Ethical Intelligence with Your Boss Chapter 8: Stand by Me: Ethical Intelligence with Your Clients, Shareholders, and Others with a Stake in Your Company PART Ethical Intelligence in Your Personal Life Chapter 9: We Are Family: Ethical Intelligence with Your Family, Friends, and Community Chapter 10: If I Am Not for Myself, Who Will Be? Ethical Intelligence with Yourself Epilogue The Five Questions Appendix: Books, Movies, and TV Shows That Will Enrich Your Ethical Intelligence Acknowledgments Notes Index About the Author Join the Movement! PART Understanding the Five Principles of Ethical Intelligence Dead Poets Society (film; 1989), 79 Deepwater Horizon oil spill, 136 De Niro, Robert, 214n1 (ch 4) diabetes, 178 Diamonds Are Forever (film; 1971), 38 diet, 177 dignity, 24 discipline, 14, 24–26, 27, 35, 213n14 discrimination, 28–29, 55, 100, 213n15 Do No Harm, 6, 9, 11–15 alcohol/drug abuse and, 112–13 anger and, 184 confidentiality and, 40 corollaries of, 34 criticism and, 85, 104 downsizing and, 87–88, 89, 184 healthy living and, 177 Internet communication and, 37–39 movies/TV shows demonstrating, 203 as nonintervention principle, 32, 34 offensive jokes/language and, 98, 100 office romances and, 65–66, 80 outsourcing and, 128 preventing harm vs., 211n2 unethical assignments and, 108 unethical customer behavior and, 121, 163, 165 workplace political discussions and, 71, 76 downsizing ethically intelligent responses to, 184–86, 187 ethically intelligent ways of, 87–91, 96 harm caused by, 14 office romances and, 68 stress caused by, 183–84 driving ethical behavior while, 7–8 multitasking while, 168–69, 172, 174–75, 220n3 Dr Pepper, 23 drug abuse, 111–15, 116–17 E Eastman Kodak Company, 88 Eat This, Not That! (Zinczenko and Goulding), 177, 201 Eggers, Dave, 172 elitism, 57 email, 103–4, 172 emotional intelligence, 8–9 Emotional Intelligence (Goleman), 8, 197–98 end-of-life care, 54–55 Engelhardt, H Tristram, Jr., 196 Ephron, Nora, 172 ethical intelligence benefits of, 189–90 books for enriching, 193–201 components of, 58 emotional intelligence vs., 8–9 fairness and, 26–28 five principles of, 6–7, 8, 9, 32–33, 191 (see also Do No Harm; Make Things Better; Respect Others; Be Fair; Be Loving) intellect and, 57 as learned behavior, 58 mindfulness and, 212n7 movies/TV shows for enriching, 201–6 as obligatory vs optional, 31–33 as populist idea, 57–58, 59 rational foundation of, 56–57 reasons for people’s avoidance of, 50–52, 59 ethicists challenging claims of, 56–57 expertise of, 214–15n1 as self-righteous, 56, 59 ethics cross-cultural consensus on, 52–54, 59 law vs., 54–55, 59 morality vs., 49–50, 59 obliviousness to, 218n8 rational foundation of, 56–57 relativism in, 218n8 self vs others, 16, 153 social acceptance of injustices and, 54 Ethics (journal), 16 ethics IQ, 45–46 ethics quiz, 3–5, 37–45 etiquette, 16–17 exercise, 177–78 expertise, epistemic vs performative, 214–15n1 F Facebook, friends’ photos on, 3, 37–39, 46 Faden, Ruth R., 196 Fair Labor Standards Act, 94 fairness contextual nature of, 212–13n13 in disciplining, 24–26, 27 discrimination and, 28–29 ethical intelligence and, 26–28 See also Be Fair fear, 50–51, 59 Fearsome Foursome (workplace conversation topics), 70–71, 80–81, 99–100 Few Good Men, A (film; 1992), 204 Fey, Tina, 105 Firing Line (TV show), 214n1 (ch 4) firings, 88–91, 96 Five Questions, 191 “flaming,” 103–4 food preferences, respecting, 17–18 forgiveness, 140 Foundations of Bioethics, The (Engelhardt), 196 Frankfurt, Harry, 196–97 Freud, Sigmund, 70 Fromm, Erich, 30 frugality, 150–54, 166 G Gaarder, Jostein, 197 Gallup Honesty and Ethics survey, 132 Gilbert, Daniel, 197 Gill, Michael Gates, 145 Godfather, The (films; 1972, 1974), 202 Godin, Seth, 172 Golden Rule, 17 Goleman, Daniel, 8, 197–98 Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C (TV show), 206 GoodFellas (film; 1990), 202 gossip, 11–12 Goulding, Matt, 177, 201 Great Recession, 131, 145–46 grief, 185–86 Groundhog Day (film; 1993), 205–6 Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals (Kant), 198–99 Guns N’ Roses (rock band), 23 H Hagar, Sammy, 69 Hallowell, Edward M., 169 Happy Days (TV show), 133 harm preventing, 13–14, 34, 38–39, 69, 100, 112–13, 211n2 truth telling and, 21–22 unavoidable, minimizing, 14–15, 34, 87–88, 89 use of term, 13 See also Do No Harm Hayward, Tony, 136 healthy living, 176–79, 187 heart disease, 178 Hinduism, 53 History and Theory of Informed Consent, A (Faden and Beauchamp), 196 holidays, frugality during, 150–54 Holmes-Rahe stress scale, 183–84 Hornby, Nick, 172 How Starbucks Saved My Life (Gill), 145 How to Win Every Argument (Prie), 195 How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie), 31, 195 human resources departments, 100, 114–15 I Iacocca, Lee, 186 Ice Storm, The (film; 1997), 204–5 injustice rectifying, 27–28, 35, 91 social acceptance of, 54 intellect, 57 Internet, 37–39, 103–4, 214n2, 216n3 (ch 7) internships, unpaid, 91–95 Invention of Lying, The (film; 2009), 204 Iran-Contra scandal, 133 Is It Still Cheating If I Don’t Get Caught? (Weinstein), 200–201 Islam, 52–53 iSolation, 172–75, 220–21n6 It’s Bad for Ya (HBO special), 19 Ivory, William, 28 J Jagger, Sir Mick, 80 Jainism, 53 Jehovah’s Witnesses, 53 jobs loss of, 145, 151–52, 155–56, 183–86 two, 145–46 Jobs, Steve, 122–23, 124 Joffe, B David, 94, 219n5 jokes, offensive, 97–100, 115–16 Judaism, 52–53 K Kabat-Zinn, Jon, 198 Kant, Immanuel, 198–99, 212n11 Kenney, Elizabeth, 187 Kids Are All Right, The (film; 2010), 205 kindness, 30 King, Billie Jean, 186 Kruger, Carl, 175 L Lahita, Robert, 217n2 language, offensive, 97–100, 115–16 Larsson, Stieg, 176 Late Spring (film; 1949), 203–4 law and ethics, 54–55, 59, 68, 100, 213n15 Letterman, David, 63 Liebowitz, Fran, 221n6 logic, books on, 194–95 Logic Made Easy (Bennett), 194–95 love, 29–31 See also Be Loving Love Story (film; 1970), 138 M M&Ms, controversy over color of, 76, 215n6 MacIntyre, Alasdair, 199 Mackay, Harvey, 186 Made in Dagenham (film; 2010), 28 Make Things Better, 6, criticism and, 85 downsizing and, 184 healthy living and, 178 movies/TV shows demonstrating, 203–4 office romances and, 70 opting out of, 32 outsourcing and, 128 self and, 15–16, 34 managers See bosses Manejwala, Omar, 114–15 Marcus, Bernie, 186 Mars company, 76, 215n6 Marx, Groucho, 156 Mayo Clinic, 178 Maysles, Albert, 202–3 medical leaves, 119, 122–24, 139 meditation, 178–79 mind, ethical intelligence with, 177 mindfulness, 212n7 mistakes denying, 135 rationalizing, 135–36 shifting blame for, 136 money workplace discussions about, 70–71, 80–81 worries about, and work-life balance, 145–46 monotasking, 171–72 moods, bad, 52 morality vs ethics, 49–50, 59 Moses, Jeffrey, 6, 199–200 movie theaters, multiple viewings at, 160, 164–65 multitasking, 167–69, 172, 174–75, 186–87, 220n3 N National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 115 New York State, technological distraction legislation in, 175 New York Times, 105 Nhat Hanh, Thich, 85, 180 Nicomachean Ethics (Aristotle), 43, 193–94 O obituary, writing one’s own, 146 office romances between bosses and subordinates, 67–69, 74–75 between coworkers, 80 as ethically unintelligent, 63–65, 70 harmful effects of, 65–66, 92 preventing harm in, 69 Oneness: Great Principles Shared by All Religions (Moses), 6, 199–200 On Truth (Frankfurt), 196–97 outsourcing, 119 criticism of, as racist, 127–28 downsizing as result of, 91 ethics of, 58, 217–18n5 labor costs saved by, 125–26 negative publicity as result of, 51–52, 126–27, 139 objecting to, 91 profit maximization through, 128–29 workplace discussions about, 76 P Parks, Rosa, 55 pedophilia, 19–20, 213n14 peer pressure, 50–51 Phelps, Michael, 38 Plato, 200, 220–21n6 politics, discussions about See workplace political discussions populism, 57–58, 59 Postman, Neil, 175 power imbalances in office romances, 67–69, 74–75 in workplace political discussions, 73–75 praise, giving, 86, 87 Presley, Elvis, 77 Prie, Madsen, 195 Principles of Biomedical Ethics (Beauchamp and Childress), 194 privacy, right to, 123–24 profit maximization of, 128–29 trust and, 130–31 promise keeping, 22–23, 34, 204–5 prudence, 216n1 (ch 7) Public Speaking (film; 2011), 221n6 Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business (Carnegie), 195 punishment, 14, 24–26, 27, 213n14 Q Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking, The (Carnegie), 195 quid pro quo relationships, 92–93 R racism, 55 Reagan, Ronald, 133 Rear Window (film; 1954), 204 reason and ethics, 56–57 recommendations, 185 Red Balloon, The (film; 1956), 203 Redford, Robert, 186 Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock (Hagar), 69 rejection, 14–15 relationships business-customer, 130–31 dual, 4, 42–44, 46–47, 94–95 ethically intelligent choices in, 165–66 frugality and, 150–54, 166 problems in, 143 quid pro quo, 92–93 romantic, 63–65 vacations and, 154–57, 166 See also work-life balance relativism, ethical, 218n12 religion ethics and, 52–53, 59 morality and, 49 workplace discussions about, 70–71, 80–81 Republic, The (Plato), 200 resources, fairness in allocating, 26–27, 35 Respect Others, 6, anger and, 180 apologies and, 134 confidentiality and, 20–21, 34, 40, 123–24 different values/preferences, 17–18 dignity and, 24 downsizing and, 89–90, 184 etiquette and, 16–17 movies/TV shows demonstrating, 204–5 as obligatory vs optional, 32 offensive jokes/language and, 100 outsourcing and, 128 promise keeping and, 22–23, 34 rights and, 18–20 truth telling and, 21–22, 34 unethical assignments and, 108 unethical customer behavior and, 161–62, 164 unpaid internships and, 93 workplace political discussions and, 76 Rice, Chuck, 115 Richtel, Matt, 220n3 rights legal vs ethical, 18–20, 219n5 to vacations, 219n5 Rogers, Kenny, 212n7 romantic relationships, usual failure of, 63–65 See also office romances Roosevelt, Eleanor, 147 Roosevelt, Franklin D., 123 Rose, Axl, 23 rudeness, 17 Ruiz, Don Miguel, 79 Rulebook for Arguments, A (Weston), 195 rumors, 11–12 S Salamon, Maureen, 217n2 Scarface (film; 1983), 202 Scorsese, Martin, 221n6 self, ethical intelligence with, 34 anger and, 179–83, 187 downsizing and, 183–86, 187 healthy living, 176–79, 187 multitasking and, 167–69, 186–87 technology and, 169–75, 186–87 self-criticism, 177, 187 self-employment, 155–56 self-promotion, 185 self-righteousness, 56 self-treatment, 16, 153 Seuss, Dr., 200 sex, workplace discussions about, 70–71, 80–81 sexual harassment, 68, 92 shareholders, 120, 126 Sherrod, Shirley, 134 Shining, The (film; 1980), 148 short-term benefits, focus on, 51–52, 59 sick leave, taking, 4–5, 44–45, 47, 172 Silence of the Lambs, The (film; 1991), 91–92 singles, and vacations, 157 slavery, social acceptance of, 54 Sneetches and Other Stories, The (Dr Seuss), 200 Sophie’s World (Gaarder), 197 Sopranos, The (TV show), 202 spirit, ethical intelligence with, 178–79 Spirited Away (film; 2001), 203 Springsteen, Bruce, 27–28 stakeholders, 119–20, 123–24, 128 “staycations,” 156 stress, and downsizing, 183–84 Stumbling on Happiness (Gilbert), 197 Sublett, Roger, 189 sympathy, 77–78 T Tarloff, Frank, 25 technology ethically intelligent use of, 169–72, 186–87 isolating effects of, 172–75, 220–21n6 Teresa, Mother, 214n1 (ch 4) texting, while driving, 169, 174–75, 220n3 time management, 26–27, 148–49, 166 See also work-life balance Timko, Robert, 220–21n6 Title VII, 100 To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee), 77 trust, profitability of, 130–31 truth telling, 21–22, 34, 90, 108, 131–33, 204 Turner, Tina, 29 Twain, Mark, 80 12 Angry Men (film; 1957), 205 Twitter, rumors spread on, 11–12 U United States Food and Drug Administration, 131 United States Labor Department, 94, 183 University of Chicago Press, 16 V vacations, 154–57, 166, 172, 219n5 values, respecting, 17–18 vegetarianism, 17–18 Vilsack, Tom, 134 Virginia Tech Transportation Institute, 169 virtues, 193–94 W We Got Fired! … And It’s the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Us (Mackay), 186 Weiner, Anthony, 38 Weinstein, Bruce, 200–201 Weston, Anthony, 195 Wherever You Go, There You Are (Kabat-Zinn), 198 Williams, Robin, 79 Wilson (Clowes), 195–96 Wilson, Woodrow, 123 working vacations, 157 work-life balance ethically unintelligent, 143–44 reasons for lack of, 145–48 time management for, 148–49, 166 use of term, 144–45 workplace anger at, 179–80 antiretaliation policies at, 113, 117 calling in sick at, 4–5, 44–45, 47 confidentiality violations at, 3–4, 39–41 constant connection to, and work-life balance, 146–48 downsizing at, 14, 68, 87–91, 96 Fearsome Foursome conversation topics at, 70–71, 80–81, 99–100 friends’ relatives at, 4, 42–44, 46–47 Internet communication and, 37–38 obnoxious people at, 63, 77–80, 81 unpaid internships at, 91–95, 96 See also bosses; bosses, ethically intelligent responses to; office romances; workplace political discussions workplace political discussions, 63 advantages of, 75 between bosses and subordinates, 73–75 between coworkers, 71–73 as ethically unintelligent, 70, 75–77, 80–81 Z Zinczenko, David, 177, 201 Zion, Libby, 147 About the Author r Bruce Weinstein, The Ethics Guy®, has a simple purpose in life: to show you how to use five powerful principles for making the best possible decisions everywhere you go He is the host of Ask the Ethics Guy! on Bloomberg Businessweek online’s management channel and has written many ethics columns there He regularly gives keynote addresses to businesses, schools, and professional associations across the country His clients include the National Football League, Northrop Grumman, the Investment Management Consultants Association, the International Foundation of Employee Benefit Plans, the Association of Test Publishers, Vistakon/Johnson & Johnson, the U.S National Guard (South Carolina Division), the American Association of Collegiate Registrars and Admissions Officers, Help Desk International, Pri-Med, the colleges of business of Eastern Michigan University and the University of North Dakota, and over three hundred other leading groups You have seen Dr Weinstein on a wide range of CNN programs, including Anderson Cooper 360, American Morning, The Situation Room, Reliable Sources, Issue #1, Open House, CNN Live Saturday, Your Money, and The Flip Side He has also been featured on NBC’s Today Show, ABC’s Good Morning America, Fox News Channel’s O’Reilly Factor and Fox and Friends, Fox Business’s Cavuto, MSNBC Live, CNBC’s Power Lunch, Bloomberg Television, Headline News, CNN International, and WNYC’s Leonard Lopate Show His previous books include Is It Still Cheating If I Don’t Get Caught?, Life Principles: Feeling Good by Doing Good, and What Should I Do? Simple Steps to Making Better Decisions in Everyday Life His writings have appeared in, and he has been quoted or featured in, The New York Times, USA Today, Family Circle, The Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Investor’s Business Daily, Real Simple, and the in-flight magazines of American Airlines, Delta Air Lines, US Airways, and United Airlines, as well as on MSNBC.com, ABCNews.com, Newsweek.com, CNN.com, FoxNews.com, and Bankrate.com He received a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from Swarth-more College, a PhD in philosophy and bioethics from Georgetown University, a certificate in film production from New York University, and a National Fellowship in Leadership Development from the W K Kellogg Foundation in Battle Creek, Michigan He lives in New York with his wife, Kristen Bancroft He has twice been selected as a Top5 Speaker in Management, by Speakers Platform, one of the leading speakers’ bureaus in the United States D Join the Movement! o you want to promote ethical intelligence where you work, in your personal relationships, and in the world at large? 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Life Principles: Feeling Good by Doing Good Is It Still Cheating If I Don’t Get Caught? (for young adults) ETHICAL INTELLIGENCE Five Principles for Untangling Your Toughest Problems at Work and Beyond. .. implications; but they are first and foremost principles of ethics, and they form the core of what I call ethical intelligence. ” In this book, I will show you how to enhance your ethical intelligence. .. terms obligatory and supererogatory to refer to two different kinds of actions: those that are required and those that are above and beyond the call of duty The five principles of ethical intelligence