www.ebook3000.com Conflict Survival Kit Tools for Resolving Conflict at Work Second Edition Daniel B Griffith, J.D., SPHR Cliff Goodwin, Ed.D Purdue School of Engineering and Technology Indiana University-Purdue University, Indianapolis, IN Boston Columbus Indianapolis New York San Francisco Upper Saddle River Amsterdam Cape Town Dubai London Madrid Milan Munich Paris Montreal Toronto Delhi Mexico City São Paulo Sydney Hong Kong Seoul Singapore Taipei Tokyo Editorial Director: Vernon R Anthony Executive Editor: Gary Bauer Editorial Project Manager: Linda Cupp Editorial Assistant: Tanika Henderson Director of Marketing: David Gesell Marketing Manager: Stacey Martinez Senior Marketing Assistant: Les Roberts Production Manager: Laura Messerly Senior Art Director: Jayne Conte Cover Designer: Suzanne Behnke Cover Art: Thinkstock Manager, Rights and Permissions: Karen Sanatar Image Permission Coordinator: Mike Lackey Full-Service Project Management: George Jacob Composition: Integra Software Services Pvt Ltd Printer/Binder: Edwards Brothers Cover Printer: Lehigh-Phoenix Color Text Font: 10/12, ITC Century Std Credits and acknowledgments for materials borrowed from other sources and reproduced, with permission, in this textbook appear on the appropriate page within text Photo Credits: Introduction: Thinkstock; Part I: Joel Goodwin; Part II: Fotolia; Part III: Joel Goodwin; Part IV: Joel Goodwin; Conclusion: Joel Goodwin Copyright © 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Prentice Hall, One Lake Street, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey 07458 All rights reserved Manufactured in the United States of America This publication is protected by Copyright, and permission should be obtained from the publisher prior to any prohibited reproduction, storage in a retrieval system, or transmission in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or likewise To obtain permission(s) to use material from this work, please submit a written request to Pearson Education, Inc., Permissions Department, One Lake Street, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey 07458 Many of the designations by manufacturers and seller to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks Where those designations appear in this book, and the publisher was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed in initial caps or all caps Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Griffith, Dan (Daniel B.) Conflict survival kit : tools for resolving conflict at work / Daniel B Griffith, Cliff Goodwin — 2nd [ed.] p. cm Prev ed entered under Cliff Goodwin Includes bibliographical references and index ISBN-13: 978-0-13-274105-7 ISBN-10: 0-13-274105-9 Conflict management. 2. Interorganizational relations. 3. Industrial relations. 4. Psychology, Industrial. Conflict (Psychology) I Goodwin, Cliff II Goodwin, Cliff Conflict survival kit. III Title HD42.G66 2013 658.3’145 dc23 2011035613 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 ISBN 10: 0-13-274105-9 ISBN 13: 978-0-13-274105-7 www.ebook3000.com Contents Preface xv About the Authors xix Introduction Chapter 1: The Nature of Conflict Performance Competencies How Does Conflict Affect Us? Is Conflict Bad? A Deeper Look at Conflict Two Approaches to Addressing Conflict The Challenges, Imperatives, and Good News about Managing Conflict Performance Checklist 10 Test Yourself 11 Multiple Choice 11 Discussion Questions 12 Case: Confrontation vs Cooperation 13 Personal Growth Exercise 13 To Learn More 13 Notes 14 Part I: The Theory and Context for Managing Conflict in the Workplace Chapter 2: Preventing Conflict 16 Performance Competencies 15 16 Creating and Maintaining an Environment of Reduced Conflict 16 Paying Attention to Evolving Conflicts 20 iii Look for Triggers . 20 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 22 . . Then, Respond Appropriately 22 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 25 Preventing Conflict at a Personal Level 26 Performance Checklist 27 Test Yourself 28 Multiple Choice 28 Discussion Questions 29 Case: Triggers 30 Personal Growth Exercise 31 To Learn More 31 Notes 32 Chapter 3: Approaches to Conflict 33 Performance Competencies 33 Power-Based Approaches 34 Rights-Based Approaches 35 Interest-Based Approaches 36 The Approach Parties Use Will Fluctuate 37 Distributive vs Integrative Approaches to Addressing Conflict 37 Choosing the Approach That Works 41 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 41 Performance Checklist 42 Test Yourself 42 Multiple Choice 43 Discussion Questions 44 Case: Power, Rights, and Interests 44 Personal Growth Exercise 45 To Learn More 45 Note 45 iv Contents www.ebook3000.com Chapter 4: Working Toward Collaboration 46 Performance Competencies 46 The Thomas-Kilmann Model in Practice 46 Avoiding 48 Accommodating 50 Competing 51 Compromising 53 Collaborating 55 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 59 When You Are a Mediator 59 When You Are Negotiating a Conflict for Yourself 59 Performance Checklist 60 Test Yourself 60 Multiple Choice 61 Discussion Questions 62 Case: Choosing Your Approach to Resolving Conflict 62 Alternative Procedure for Online Learning Formats 64 Personal Growth Exercise 64 To Learn More 64 Note 65 Part II: Interpersonal Communication Skills for Resolving Conflict Chapter 5: The Three Channels of Communication Performance Competencies 67 68 68 Channel I: The Nonverbal/Behavioral 69 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 74 When You Are a Mediator 74 When You Are Negotiating a Conflict for Yourself 74 Channel II: The Verbal 74 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 78 When You Are a Mediator 78 Contents v When You Are Negotiating a Conflict for Yourself 78 Channel III: The Para-Verbal 78 Tuning in on the Three Channels of Communication When Resolving Conflict 80 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 82 When You Are a Mediator 82 When You Are Negotiating a Conflict for Yourself 82 Performance Checklist 82 Test Yourself 83 Multiple Choice 83 Discussion Questions 84 Case: “Reading” Others 84 Alternative Procedure for Online Learning Formats 85 Personal Growth Exercise 86 To Learn More 86 Notes 86 Chapter 6: Listening to Resolve Conflict and Build Lasting Relationships 87 87 Performance Competencies Four Levels of Communication 88 Level I Communication: Not Hearing and Not Listening 89 Level II Communication: Hearing Content 92 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 96 When You Are a Mediator 96 When You Are Negotiating a Conflict for Yourself 97 Level III Communication: Hearing Feelings 97 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 101 When You Are a Mediator 101 When You Are Negotiating a Conflict for Yourself 102 Level IV Communication: Therapy 102 Performance Checklist 103 Test Yourself 104 Multiple Choice 104 vi Contents www.ebook3000.com Discussion Questions 105 Case: Listening at Different Levels 105 Personal Growth Exercise 106 To Learn More 106 Note 106 Chapter 7: The Communication Continua 107 107 Performance Competencies Responding Interpersonally 107 Problem Inquiry 108 The First Continuum: Solution Giving Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 110 Equality 110 The Second Continuum: Superiority Empathize The Third Continuum: Ignore Feelings (Acknowledge Feelings) 111 Conditional 112 The Fourth Continuum: Absolute Descriptive 113 The Fifth Continuum: Evaluative Tips to Remember about the Five Continua of Responses 114 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit: The Five Continua of Responses 115 Performance Checklist 116 Test Yourself 117 Multiple Choice 117 Discussion Questions 118 Case: The Right Response 118 Personal Growth Exercise 119 To Learn More 119 Note 119 Part III: Preparing to Resolve Conflicts Chapter 8: Are You Capable? Performance Competencies 121 122 122 Assessing Your Capability 122 The Conflict Capability Questionnaire in Action 125 Contents vii Improving Your Capability 129 Ego Maturity 133 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 137 When You Are a Mediator 137 When You Are Negotiating a Conflict for Yourself 137 Performance Checklist 138 Test Yourself 138 Multiple Choice 139 Discussion Questions 140 Case: Assessing Conflict Capability 140 Alternative Procedure for Online Learning Formats 140 Personal Growth Exercise 141 To Learn More 141 Notes 141 Chapter 9: Opening the Doors to Conflict Resolution 142 142 Performance Competencies Conflict Resolution through Supportive Confrontation 142 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 152 When You Are a Mediator 152 When You Are Negotiating a Conflict for Yourself 153 Performance Checklist 153 Test Yourself 154 Multiple Choice 154 Discussion Questions 155 Case: Engaging in Supportive Confrontation 155 Alternative Procedure for Online Learning Formats 156 Personal Growth Exercise 156 To Learn More 156 Note 156 viii Contents www.ebook3000.com Part IV: Application and Practice Chapter 10: The Building Blocks of Collaboration 157 158 158 Performance Competencies Analyze the Situation Requiring Collaboration 159 Invite the Other Party to Collaborate 160 Express Your Concerns 161 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 163 Listen and Seek to Understand 163 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 166 Define the Problem 167 Brainstorm and Explore Possible Solutions 168 Commit to a Solution 170 Implement and Monitor the Agreement 171 Foster the Relationship 172 Performance Checklist 172 Test Yourself 173 Multiple Choice 173 Discussion Questions 174 Case: Encouraging Collaboration 175 Alternative Procedure for Online Learning Formats 177 Personal Growth Exercise 177 To Learn More 177 Chapter 11: Integrative Negotiation: Negotiating as Partners Performance Competencies 178 178 The Limits of Traditional Negotiations 179 The Promise of Integrative Negotiation 179 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 180 Alternatives 180 Interests 183 Contents ix This page intentionally left blank www.ebook3000.com Role Profiles for Cases The Conflict Survival Kit provides profiles featured in the cases at the end of each chapter The main character is Joe Newcomer, who is an assistant manager with More Power, Inc Identifying with Joe and the other characters will help make the cases and role plays more realistic and enjoyable If you have the opportunity to play a role in a group situation, you will be expected to make decisions from the viewpoint of the character you portray For example, if you are given the role of Joe, you should act in a way you believe an individual like Joe would act when addressing a particular conflict situation In addition to traditional characters employed in a hypothetical organization, a few additional characters act in the role of experts, such as Joe’s boss and his evening class professor Further, characters include at least one customer and a vendor who business with More Power Every attempt has been made to broaden the types of conflicts a supervisor might face in a typical day The Company: More Power, Inc. More Power, Inc., is a large, local retail store specializing in the sale and service of hardware, tools, lawn and garden implements, and other materials for the home More Power operates seven days a week, dawn to dusk Approximately 120 employees work in distinct divisions within the store, including customer service/return desk; warehouse and delivery; service and repair; and three distinct sections focused on (1) hardware and tools, (2) lawn and garden and outdoors, and (3) home building and improvement Five assistant managers who oversee these divisions report to the owner/manager The organizational chart of More Power, Inc., includes the employees who are featured in the case studies Joe Newcomer, Assistant Manager, Warehouse, Delivery, and Customer Service As Joe, you are the key figure in most of the case studies You are an assistant manager and have been working for More Power, Inc., for four months In your role, you are responsible for overseeing the customer service/return desk and for managing the warehouse and delivery functions You manage approximately thirty people You are twenty-six and married, with a two-year-old daughter Your wife is pregnant and works full time as an office manager Although your current 347 Jim Talent, Owner/Manager Assistant Manager, Service and Repair Kim Khan, Assistant Manager, Hardware and Tools Fred Staid, Team Leader, Delivery Anton Knox, a.k.a "Mr Opportunity," Delivery Team Worker Joe Newcomer, Assistant Manager, Warehouse, Delivery, Customer Service Team Leader Customer Service (Vacant) Tamiko Timid, Delivery Team Worker Assistant Manager, Home Building and Improvement Assistant Manager, Lawn, Garden, and Outdoors Sally Ambitious, Team Leader, Warehouse Tina Tumultuous, Customer Service Representative Organizational Chart for More Power, Inc position is not perfect, you thought it was the appropriate progression in your career as a manager In addition, when you accepted the position, you understood that you would have flexibility to pursue other goals Specifically, you expected the job would allow you to return to night school to work toward earning a four-year degree, adding to your two-year associate degree The position offered more money and better benefits, which is more important than ever now that you and your wife have a child with another on the way Now that you are enrolled in night school, it has been difficult balancing school with work and family obligations Although your boss, Jim Talent, is generally understanding about your need to leave early in the evening to attend school, you have been expected occasionally to stay later and either arrive late or miss class altogether At home, you are not always fun to be around because you often have to study instead of spend time with your wife and daughter It has been especially difficult to balance all these obligations because of the stresses and challenges you face on a daily basis at work You are expected to address and resolve innumerable employee, customer, and vendor problems every day You are not always sure whether you have made the right career choice by accepting your current position You are not always sure you have the skills to handle some of these trying conflicts Jim Talent, Store Owner/Manager As Jim Talent, you grew up in the hardware, lawn, and garden business You worked with your father, who started the business, until he retired You have worked in virtually every imaginable position in the store and 348 Role Profiles for Cases www.ebook3000.com know the business inside and out You are forty-one, married, and have two teenaged children Although you have a four-year degree, which you earned the hard way through years of night school while working full time, you believe your management expertise and leadership style were developed more through the day-to-day grind of work than through formal education You are a straightforward, direct individual who prefers deliberate action to deep analysis and talk You can be patient with the assistant managers you supervise and are willing to coach them on how to perform their jobs and become effective managers However, you prefer that they make decisions on their own, take ownership for those decisions (good or bad), and not always depend on you to bail them out Your reason for this approach is a matter of both personal management style and practicality With so many employees to manage and areas of responsibility to oversee, you rely on your assistant managers to be as resourceful and tough-minded as you are When you hired Joe, you thought he had a lot of promise Though Joe seems insecure in his role, he is also task oriented and sincere about being an effective manager You can tell he cares about his customers and the people he manages, but he often spends too much time deliberating over how to handle difficult situations You would rather that he jump in headfirst to confront matters, as you would He could also use a little more experience in delegating While you support his aspirations for school, you believe all that “head knowledge” is no replacement for the hard knocks Joe needs to be successful To that end, you believe you can provide a good balance to his college experience as a real-world coach Fred Staid, Team Leader, Delivery As Fred Staid, you are comfortable working as the team leader in the delivery section You oversee the logistics of delivery; arrange deliveries; and direct a small fleet of drivers, loaders, and installers You know this end of the business well as you have been in this role, in this store, for as long as anyone can remember You enjoy the security of the position, being the resident authority over a particular area and having a job you can leave at the end of the day without thinking about it This security is especially important right now You are fifty-two, m arried, with three kids, two in high school and one in college Your kids are hard working, as they must be You are encouraging them to seek the opportunities you never had, such as going to college, but are unable to support them financially in these goals You enjoy spending time with your wife, attending your teens’ football games and band concerts, and fussing with the lawn You are a conservative individual and not comfortable with rapid organizational change You are analytical and good at organization and planning You don’t like making changes rapidly but prefer to think things through and move slowly While you realize others may have input in how things should be run in your area, you are somewhat reticent to relinquish even the least amount of control to others Role Profiles for Cases 349 Sally Ambitious, Team Leader, Warehouse As Sally Ambitious, though you like your job, you have no desire to remain in your position as warehouse team leader forever In fact, you would like to move up to an assistant manager position eventually, though this may take longer than it would others since you have only a high school diploma At twenty-two, you have plenty of time You want to attend college but currently are focused on raising two young children Moving into an assistant manager position might also require accepting a position with another company in another state, something you are not prepared to Your husband recently started a new position so moving right now would not make sense You are making the most of your current role You like the idea that More Power management, including both Jim Talent and Joe Newcomer, have given you a great deal of leeway in directing day-to-day warehouse operations In the year that you have held this position, you believe you have streamlined functions so that products are more effectively inventoried and shelved and that depleted products are replenished more quickly You also believe that the processes you have implemented have ensured that customers receive ordered products in a prompt manner, either through in-store pickup at the customer service desk or through coordination with Fred’s delivery section However, you still see ways in which functions between your section and Fred’s may be more efficiently coordinated You are an expressive, creative individual with more ideas than you have time to implement You tend toward impatience You are prone to making quick decisions, but this is because you are more intuitive than analytical about the best way to proceed on projects Often, your intuition has led to innovative and successful results On the law of averages, your approach has proven no less effective than the slower, more deliberate approach others might prefer Tina Tumultuous, Customer Service Representative As Tina Tumultuous, you have a mixed employment record as a customer service representative When you started working with More Power five years ago, you loved the work and you were quite good at it You know the retail business and can recite chapter and verse of More Power’s policies and procedures on returns, refunds, and damaged items You know a great deal about the products More Power sells, where they are located in the store, and where to direct customers to find items or to seek further assistance You have generally treated customers in a respectful manner In fact, because of your knowledge and work with customers, you were named Employee of the Month a couple of times in the past few years But your attitude has changed recently You are as capable as you ever were, and if asked, you would acknowledge that you are still committed to your job and to helping make More Power successful But your personal life is in turmoil You went through a difficult divorce You have two kids, one in junior high and the other in high school Your older child, a son, has been in and out of trouble in school and with the law 350 Role Profiles for Cases www.ebook3000.com Lately, Jim and Joe have talked with you repeatedly about your ehavior and interaction with customers They have used words such as b “curt,” “bossy,” “loud,” “rude,” and “insensitive” in counseling you about customer interactions they have observed On occasion, you have been disciplined for these behaviors The stress and anxiety you have been feeling regarding your personal life may account for why you have been acting this way However, you are reluctant to discuss these issues with management Professor Timothy Justice, Ph.D. As Professor Justice, you are Joe’s professor for Managing Conflict in Work and Life, an elective that Joe is taking toward a degree in management and supervision You are also Joe’s academic advisor You are rumpled and gray-haired, with a generous spirit and a passion for teaching You once worked in an industrial environment but returned to school and earned a Ph.D in industrial and labor relations You have been a professor for twenty years and would not think of returning to a position in industry However, you serve as an independent consultant for various companies, and you also enjoy helping to equip future leaders like Joe to succeed in their roles as managers You like Joe You find that he has a lot of intellectual curiosity about the theories of management as well as conflict and negotiation You find, though, that Joe is having a difficult time applying what he is learning in the classroom to the real-world situations he faces at More Power You teach collaborative and empowerment models of management and conflict intervention and insist that your students get a good grasp of these theories and concepts to apply them in their jobs You also try hard to balance theory with practical, albeit hypothetical, case studies, exercises, and other applications to give students a picture of how these theories and concepts work on the job With Joe, you are more than happy to teach him, to listen to his frustrations in dealing with conflicts at work, and to offer advice when you can Vic Vendor, Sales Representative, Do or Dye Tools, Inc. As Vic Vendor, you are the regional sales representative for Do or Dye Tools, Inc., which has a long-standing relationship with More Power as one of Do or Dye’s largest distributors You have worked for Do or Dye Tools only a few months, having replaced the former sales representative to More Power, Axel Rod, who had served in that role for almost twenty years You are young, but you have a good sales record from previous sales positions Since you are new to your role and are replacing someone who had a trusted relationship with More Power management, you are careful at first to respect that relationship and the “gentlemen’s agreements” between Axel Rod and More Power However, you are slowly realizing that your predecessor engaged in all sorts of unsound business practices, such as giving large volume discounts on tools; refunding More Power for defective tools Role Profiles for Cases 351 “no questions asked”; and agreeing to endless rebates, “freebies,” giveaways, and other deals that drastically affected Do or Dye’s profit margin You think that Do or Dye has been taken advantage of, thanks to Axel Rod’s “old boy” approach You want to base the relationship on a pricing structure that has some reasonable basis in valuing Do or Dye’s manufacturing and delivery costs, other overhead, expectation for realizing a profit, and similar considerations You are prepared to introduce a new pricing structure but know this will not be received well by More Power managers Maria Service, Customer As Maria Service, you are a professional woman who works as a real e state account manager at a major bank You and your husband own a home and shop at More Power as your preferred retailer for tools and lawn and garden and home improvement needs You have generally been pleased with the prices and customer service at More Power However, you occasionally shop at More Power’s competitors in town Service is not quite as good, and prices are generally just a little higher At times, you have had to return a product to More Power, either because you realized you did not need it after all or because of a slight defect Returns have generally been honored In your daily interactions with others, you are generally pleasant, but you are also confident and willing to press your position if you believe you are not being treated fairly This has not always been easy for you You are a second-generation Latina American Your family immigrated to the United States from Mexico when you were a child You are well aware of the struggles your family and others in the Latino community must endure to earn fairness and respect in the community and in business affairs Your family is proud of you for having earned a bachelor’s degree and an MBA Your husband owns a management consultant firm Kim Khan, Assistant Manager, Tools As Kim Khan, you have been the assistant manager in the hardware and tools section for three years You worked for More Power in previous positions, resigned to work in the construction industry as a carpenter, and then returned You are an expert with tools, and you love sharing your expertise with customers In fact, in addition to working with customers to select the best tools for their projects, you offer free weekend classes on how to use tools and how to various construction projects You are more effective at working with customers than you are in managing sales or people You will spend hours working with customers and are not prone to use sales tactics to encourage customers to buy tools You have developed a loyal customer base among a small group of customers As a manager, your employees are often frustrated As the expert, you spend time with customers and, therefore, not train employees as you should or give them enough opportunities to interact with customers 352 Role Profiles for Cases www.ebook3000.com mployees have complained that you tend to assign menial tasks to them E and keep all the interesting work to yourself You are not sure how you feel about working with Joe There is a lot of interaction between you and Joe, as you rely on his area to keep inventory up; handle customer ordering; and work with customers regarding complaints, returns, and other matters Often, Joe has to come to you with questions You are a skilled tradesperson by training, not a college graduate Joe seems to okay with management issues but lacks the expertise you think is needed to effectively handle More Power’s products and services It irritates you that he has to come to you so often with questions and seems to the same with Jim Talent “Either you can a job or you can’t,” you say to yourself “If you can’t, then move on.” Jim is apparently oblivious to this Anton Knox, a.k.a “Mr Opportunity,” Delivery Team Worker As Anton Knox, you are young and irresponsible You not take your work seriously On your best days, you are an average performer On such days, you usually come to work on time and put in the minimally required effort to keep your job On your worst days, you are late to work and not pay careful attention to the work you are doing You tend to sit around and wait for Fred Staid to give you your next assignment You like to joke around with the other guys on the delivery team You are called “Mr Opportunity” because you never miss an opportunity to get around doing your work You also never seem to miss the opportunity to call in sick or come in late When Fred talks with you about these issues, you find his comments to be outrageous and demeaning He apparently does not understand all the personal issues surrounding your life that give you legitimate reasons for the behaviors for which you are accused Nobody seems to have all the troubles that you because if they did, they would understand The way you feel treated at work is enough at times to make you angry Yet you generally avoid outbursts You just complain a lot You also know the store’s policies on sick leave and tardiness and are a master at improving your performance at the point when discipline might be imposed You have learned to work around Fred and convince him that you will improve your performance You are grateful that you are not on Joe’s radar—for now Tamiko Timid, Delivery Team Worker As Tamiko Timid, you come to work every day and your job You are a consistent, average performer You are one of only two females on the delivery team The men on the team like to joke around, which at times makes you uncomfortable Yet you not complain about this You are not overly excited about working with Fred Staid, though you acknowledge that he knows the business of retail delivery You respect his Role Profiles for Cases 353 authority and always respond to his requests You wish that others on the team would the same You have not formed many relationships among your coworkers You are not comfortable with chitchat and want to simply put in an honest day’s work and go home You not like complications in your life, nor you want to form complicated relationships at work You also worry a lot about losing your job There is one person you admire: Sally Ambitious You have occasionally had lunch with her She has tried to encourage you to be more confident She has especially encouraged you to be more assertive about matters that concern you and to communicate your concerns to Fred or others 354 Role Profiles for Cases www.ebook3000.com Index A Absolute words, 112 Abstract nature of language, role of the, 75–76 Accepted options, 244 Accommodating, 46 Accommodating approach, 50–51 Accommodation, role of, Acknowledging feelings, 111 Address issues needing further discussion, 244–245 Aggressive behavior, responding to, 308–311 Agreement checklist, 198–199 Alternatives, exploring the, 180 Ambiguity of nonverbal communication, 72–73 Analysis of the situation, 159 Anger arousal, 294 Angry reactions, responding to, 294–295 Anonymous idea generation, 259 Approach to resolving conflict, selecting the, 41 Approaches to mediation, 232 Appropriate message, sending the, 278–279 Articulating one’s interests, 33 Assertive confrontation message, 292–294 Assertive confrontation model, 280–281, 285, 286 Assertiveness, identifying degree of, 47 Attitude toward conflict, 131 Avoidance, Avoiding, 46 Avoiding approach, 48–50 Awareness, creating, 214–215 B Barriers to integrative negotiation awareness, creating, 214–215 impasse, when parties are at, 207–212 refusal to negotiate, 212–213 rules, parties playing by different,217–223 strengthening your position, 215–217 Behavioral feedback, 92–93 Best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA), 130, 181, 182, 188, 189, 215–217 Body movements, role of, 69 Brainstorming, 168–169, 187, 258, 259, 260 Bullying defined, 318–319 managing workplace, 318–321 targets of, 318, 319 C Categorizing conflicts, 25 Caucuses, 233 Central tendency error, 293 Channels of communication abstract nature of language, role of the, 75–76 ambiguity of nonverbal communication, 72–73 empathy and empathizing, meaning of, 73–74 feelings and emotions, communicating, 72–73 interpretive nature of language, 77–78 nonsignificant other perception inventory (NSOPI), 70–71 nonverbal communication, 68, 69–74 para-verbal communication, 68, 78–79 verbal communication, 68, 74–78 Claim value, 38–39 Clarify your values, using conflict modes to, 48 Collaborating, 46 Collaborating approach, 55–57 Collaboration analysis of the situation, 159 brainstorming, 168–169 committing to a solution, 170–171 defining the problem, 167–168 evaluation of your options, 169 expressing your concerns, 161–163 fostering the relationship, 172 implementation, 171–172 inviting the other party to collaborate, 160–161 listening for content, 163–164 listening for feelings, 164–166 monitoring the agreement, 171–172 pruning, 169 refinement, 169–170 355 Collaboration, role of, Collaborative problem solving, 8, 336 Commitments, 197–198, 245–246 Committing to a solution, 170–171 Communication channels (See channels of communication) cultural differences in, 80–81 levels of, 88–103 Communication, role of, 7, 192 Competing, 46 Competing approach, 51–53 Competition, role of, 5, Compliance, checking for, 284 Compromise, role of, Compromising, 46 Compromising approach, 53–55 Conditional words, 112 Conduct issues, addressing, 284, 286 Conducting investigations of misconduct, 290–292 Conflict affect of, nature of, 2–5 Conflict capability questionnaire, 123–124 Conflict mode questionnaire, 57–59 Conflict resolution follow through and follow-up, 152 meeting to resolve conflict, 147–152 problem ownership, identifying, 144 rehearsal, importance of, 147 research and reflect, 145 supportive confrontation, 142 three alternatives rule, 146–147 window on behavior, 144 Conflict resolution specialists professional, role of, informal, internal, role of, 10 Conflict strategy, 47–48 Conflict style, identifying, 47 Confrontation model, 280–281, 285, 286 Confrontation, fear of, 5–6 Confrontation stage, 25 Consensus decision making, 257–264 Consequence, selecting a, 282 Consideration of others, 336 Consultative decision making, 255, 264–267 Content, 87 Content of negotiation, 192 Context for mediation workplace, 230–233 Cooperativeness, identifying degree of, 47 Counseling, referrals for, 311 Creating value, 39 356 Critical reasoning, 336–337 Cultural differences in communication, 80–82 Current mood over current conflict, 132 D Deeper conflicts, 23, 25 Defensive reactions, responding to, 294–295 Defining the problem, 167–168 Delegation, 255 Demagogue, manager as, Descriptive responses, 113, 114 Dialogue, 270 Dialogue principles, 270–272 Dignity, preservation of, 312 Directive decision making, 255, 267–269 Disciplinary counseling session, 286 Disciplinary procedures, 288–290 Discipline without punishment, 289 Discourse, Dissenters, working with, 262–263 Distributive negotiation, 33, 37, 38, 178 Dovetailing, 187 E Effective communicators, 68 Effectiveness in managing conflict, 329 Ego maturity, 133 Emotional intelligence, 27 Emotions, role of, 195 Empathic response, 73, 89, 98–101 Empathizing, 111 Empathy, 73–74, 282 Employment, issues in, Ending the relationship with an employee, 315–317 Environmental noise, 89 Equality, 110–111 Esteem, role of, 17–18 Evaluating, 187 Evaluating job performance, 292 Evaluation of your options, 169 Evaluation standards, 191–192 Evaluative approach to mediation, 232 Evaluative responses, 113, 114 Evolving conflicts, 20, 23, 24–25 Exertion of power to impose resolution, 33 Experience, importance of, 129–131 Experiential learning cycle, 329–333 Expressing your concerns, 161–163 External mediators, 230 Index www.ebook3000.com F Facial expressions, role of, 69 Facilitative approach to mediation, 232 Feelings, 87 Feelings and emotions, communicating, 72–73, 87 Fight or flight, 27, 295 Final statement, conduct, 245 Follow through and follow-up, 152 Formal counseling session, 286 Formal training in resolving conflict, 131 Fostering the relationship, 172 Framing the issue, 242–243 G Global conflict, implication of, Goal level, 136–137 Grievance avoidance, 37 Ground rules, 237, 239 Group discussion, full, 259 Group rotation, 260 Guided reflection, 330–331 H Halo error, 293 Hearing content, 89, 92 Hearing feelings, 89, 97–98 Herzberg, Frederick, 17 Hierarchy of needs theory, 17–18 Holding separate meetings, 247–248 Human needs, meeting basic, 17, 18–20 Hygiene-motivation theory, 17–18 I Identifying the problem, 186–187 Identifying unresolved issues, 247 Ignoring feelings, 111 Impasse, when parties are at, 207–212 Incompatible interests, Indifference, role of, 90 Individual team idea generation, 260 Integrative negotiation agreement checklist, 198–199 alternatives, exploring the, 180 barriers to (See Barriers to integrative negotiation) best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA), 181, 182, 188, 189 brainstorming, 187 commitment, 197–198 communication, role of, 192 content of negotiation, 192 dovetailing, 187 emotions, role of, 195 evaluating, 187 evaluation standards, 191–192 focus of, 178, 180–181 identifying the problem, 186–187 interest-based negotiation, 178 interests, identifying and understanding, 183–186, 187 issues, identification of, 180 legitimacy, 189–191 limits of traditional negotiation, 179 mutual gains, 186 options, exploring, 186–187, 189 parties, identification of, 180 perception, role of, 192–195 process for negotiating, 192 relationship issues, role of, 192 selecting the best option, 187–189 strategies for improving communication, 195–196 Integrative negotiation model, 39–40 Integrity, 337–338 Interdependency, Interdependent parties, Interest-based approach, 8, 36–37 Interest-based bargaining, 37 Interest-based negotiation, 178 Interests, identifying and understanding, 183–186, 187 Interim agreements, 244 Internal dialog, 90 Internal mediators, 230 Internal noise, 90–91 Interpersonal communication, 107–108 Interpersonally, responding, 107–108 Interpretive nature of language, 77–78 Intervention stage, 24–25 Investigating misconduct, 290–292 Inviting the other party to collaborate, 160–161 Issues, identification of, 180 J Joint decision making, 255–257 Just cause, 288 K Kilmann, Ralph H., 46 Index 357 L Lawsuits, role of, Legal considerations for a safe workplace, 311 Legitimacy, 189–191 Leniency error, 293 Levels of communication, 88–103 Limits of traditional negotiation, 179 Listening for content, 163–164 Listening for feelings, 164–166 M Managing conflict management model for, imperatives for, 9–10 informal, internal conflict resolution specialists, role of, 10 professional conflict resolution specialists, role of, Maslow, Abraham, 17, 18 Meaningful work, providing, 17–18, 20 Mediation accepted options, 244 address issues needing further discussion, 244–245 application, 233–234 approaches to, 232 caucuses, 233 commitments, confirm, 245–246 context for workplace mediation, 230–233 environment of, 236–237 evaluation of options, 243–244 evaluative approach to mediation, 232 external mediators, 230 facilitative approach to mediation, 232 final statement, conduct, 245 framing the issue, 242–243 ground rules, 237, 239 holding separate meetings, 247–248 identifying unresolved issues, 247 interim agreements, 244 internal mediators, 230 options, creation of, 243 preparation for, 234–236 process, 239–248 rejection of options, 244 starting, 237, 239 storytelling, 239–241 table and seating configurations, 238 transformative approach to mediation, 230 358 understanding interests, 241–242 use of, 229 Mediator external, 230 internal, 230 manager as, Meeting to resolve conflict, 147–152 Message components of a, 87–88 sending the appropriate, 278–279 Misconduct, investigating, 290–292 Monitor stage, 23–24 Monitoring performance, 292 Monitoring the agreement, 171–172 Motivation factors, 18 Mutual gains, 186 N Negotiating your own conflict, 125 Negotiation theorists, 38–39 Negotiator’s dilemma, 38–39 Neighborhoods, issues in, Neutral-facilitated consensus building processes, 264 Noise, role of, 89 Nonsignificant other perception inventory (NSOPI), 70–71 Nonverbal channel, 88 Nonverbal communication, 68, 69–74 Not hearing, 89 O Openness, 334 Opportunist level, 134 Opportunistic employees, 303, 304–308 Options, creation of, 243 Options, exploring, 186–187, 189 Outcome, importance of, 47 P Para-verbal channel, 88 Para-verbal communication, 68, 78–79 Paraphrasing, 93, 94, 95, 96 Parroting, 93 Participative management, role of, 245–255 Parties, identification of, 180 Perception of conflict, 6, Perception, role of, 192–195 Index www.ebook3000.com Performance appraisal, 292–294 Performance evaluation, 292–294 Performance issues, addressing, 284–285 Performance management, 292–294 Persistence, 335–336 Personal appearance, role of, 69 Personal responsibility for resolving conflict, level of, 133 Physiological needs, 17 Planning performance, 292 Politics, issues of, Positional approach, 7–8 Positional bargaining, 215–217 Positive discipline, 289 Power-based approaches to resolving conflict, 34–35 Preventing conflict at a personal level, 26–27 Principle-centered negotiation, Problem ownership, identifying, 144 Problem statement, formulating a, 257–258 Process for negotiating, 192 Pruning, 169 R Recency error, 293 Reduced conflict, creating and maintaining an environment of, 16 Referrals for counseling, 311 Refinement, 169–170 Reflective learning, 330 Refusal to negotiate, 212–213 Rehearsal, importance of, 147 Rejection of options, 244 Relationship issues, role of, 192 Relationship, importance of, 47 Relationships, role of, 5, 87 Remaining calm and focused, 295–296 Research and reflect, 145 Resolution, options for, 283–284 Resolving conflicts assessment of capabilities, 122–123 attitude toward conflict, 131 best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA), 130 conflict capability questionnaire, 123–124 current mood over current conflict, 132 ego maturity, 133 experience, importance of, 129–131 formal training in resolving conflict, 131 goal level, 136–137 negotiating your own conflict, 125 opportunist level, 134 personal responsibility for resolving conflict, level of, 133 rules level, 135 self-aware level, 135–136 SWOT analysis, 132–133 willingness to confront conflict, 132–133 willingness to resolve conflict, 133 Response continua, 107–114 Response patterns, 115–116 Responses to conflict, Reviewing performance, 292 Right and entitlements, exertion of superior claims, 33 Rights-based approaches to resolving conflict, 35–36 Rotation among individual contributors, 260 Round robin discussion, 259 Routine daily events, 23–24, 25 Rules level, 135 Rules, parties playing by different, 217–223 S Safe workplace, ensuring a, 311–312 Scripting, 163, 296–297 Self-actualization, 16 Self-assessment, 339–340 Self-aware level, 135–136 Self-awareness, 334–335 Self-talk, 90 Severance arrangements, making, 315–316 Solution giving, 108–110 Storytelling, 339–341 Strengthening your position, 215–217 Superiority, 110–111 Supervisor as a mediator, 127–129 Supportive confrontation, 142 Survival needs, 17 Suspension, 289, 311 SWOT analysis, 132–133 T Targets of bullying, 318, 319 Termination, 289, 315–317 Therapeutic listening, 89 Therapy, 102–103 Third-party intervention, 36–37 Index 359 Thomas, Kenneth W., 46 Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument accommodating approach, 50–51 assertiveness, identifying degree of, 47 avoiding approach, 48–50 clarify your values, using conflict modes to, 48 collaborating approach, 55–57 competing approach, 51–53 compromising approach, 53–55 conflict mode questionnaire, 57–59 conflict strategy, 47–48 conflict style, identifying, 47 cooperativeness, identifying degree of, 47 outcome, importance of, 47 relationship, importance of, 47 smoothing, 50 withdrawal, 49 Threats, 312 Three alternatives rule, 146–147 Touching behaviors, 69 Traditional adverserial bargaining, 37, 336 Transformative approach to mediation, 232 Triggers, conflict, 20–22 360 U Use of time, making effective, 69–70 V Verbal channel, 88 Verbal communication, 68, 74–78 Verbal feedback, 93 Verbal warning, 288 Violent behavior, responding to, 308–311 Visual media, role of, 3–4 W Willingness to confront conflict, 132–133 Willingness to resolve conflict, 133 Window on behavior, 144 Withdrawal, 49 Work environment checklist, 18–20 Workplace bullying, managing, 318–321 Workplace violence, 312–315 Workplace violence, defined, 312 Written warning, 289 Index www.ebook3000.com ... designations have been printed in initial caps or all caps Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Griffith, Dan (Daniel B.) Conflict survival kit : tools for resolving conflict at work. .. Conflicts 20 iii Look for Triggers . 20 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 22 . . Then, Respond Appropriately 22 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 25 Preventing Conflict at. .. Channels of Communication When Resolving Conflict 80 Tools to Add to Your Conflict Survival Kit 82 When You Are a Mediator 82 When You Are Negotiating a Conflict for Yourself 82 Performance Checklist 82