Work pause thrive how to pause for parenthood without killing your career

Praise for Work PAUSE Thrive “Ask yourself two questions: Do you want women to make as much impact as they can on society? Do you want men to fully engage as fathers? If your answer is yes to either or both questions, then read this book And buy a copy for your daughters and your sons.” —Guy Kawasaki, chief evangelist of Canva and former chief evangelist of Apple “Lisen Stromberg takes the prevailing cultural narrative that anything other than working all out, all the time in our punishing American work culture is a career killer, particularly for women and mothers, and turns it soundly on its head With illuminating original survey data, the compelling stories of hundreds of women, and research-backed practical advice, Work PAUSE Thrive is essential reading for all people, not just women, who want full lives at work and at home, and for the policymakers and business leaders who have the power to make that happen Stromberg makes a powerful case for why we all stand to benefit as a result.” —Brigid Schulte, award-winning journalist, New York Times bestselling author of Overwhelmed: Work, Love & Play When No One Has the Time, and director of The Better Life Lab at New America “A secret treasure map for the next generation that wants children as well as careers Lisen Stromberg mines jewels of advice from hundreds of working parents who, despite a cultural bias to overwork, insisted on having great family lives as well as great careers Take heart, somewhere in these pages is a brave example that will work for YOU—as well as a call to arms to change employment policies that will strengthen the American economy by helping all kinds of American families.” —Lisa Stone, start-up advisor and cofounder of BlogHer “For millions of women looking to pause their careers without sacrificing long-term professional success, Work PAUSE Thrive is essential Combining a powerful personal story, new research, and a journalistic commitment to accuracy, Lisen Stromberg captures the great challenges and offers pragmatic steps forward She also understands that today’s fathers are and must be a critical part of the solution as we all work together to build work–life structures that allow a level playing field.” —Josh Levs, author of All In: How Our Work-First Culture Fails Dads, Families, and Businesses—And How We Can Fix It Together “Work PAUSE Thrive is a landmark It’s the must-read manual for working women who don’t want to look back with regret on either career or family choices Beyond the passionate rallying cry to blow up the male, ‘straight up the ladder’ career model in favor of a better journey featuring guilt-free pauses, Work PAUSE Thrive offers blueprints for how to it Filled with insights and ideas built on rock-solid data and inspiring examples from women from a wide spectrum of the working world, this is the book I’m putting on my daughter’s shelf—and wish I’d had myself Stromberg reaches out generously and thoughtfully to empower every woman torn by seemingly impossible choices, and in turn, challenges the newly enlightened reader to pay it forward Count me in.” —Nancy Vonk, cofounder of Swim and author of Darling You Can’t Do Both (And Other Noise to Ignore on Your Way Up) “Work PAUSE Thrive represents! It details how inflexible workplace structures, public policy failures, and cultural stigmas against parents in the workplace hold women AND men back from living lives of authenticity and meaning This is a must read!” —Jennifer Siebel Newsom, founder and CEO of The Representation Project “Forget climbing some corporate ladder, you want a career with twists and turns and adventure, but how? In Work PAUSE Thrive, author Lisen Stromberg shows how trailblazing women have crafted a big life on their terms and how you can too.” —Ann Shoket, author of The Big Life and former editor-in-chief of Seventeen “Our lives are not straight lines, so not surprisingly neither are our careers Yet when they inevitably take an unexpected turn we worry that we have fallen off the career track Lisen Stromberg, in Work PAUSE Thrive, is here to tell you that there is no ‘track,’ there is just the path you and your family create for your own fulfilling lives.” —Lisa Heffernan, New York Times bestselling author of Goldman Sachs and the Culture of Success and cofounder of the “Grown and Flown” blog “Work PAUSE Thrive: How to Pause for Parenthood Without Killing Your Career doesn’t just offer tactical solutions for integrating kids with careers, it also is a call to action so individual companies and our country as a whole will finally focus on providing meaningful solutions for all parents.” —Joan Blades, cofounder of MoveOn.org and MomsRising.org “Former advertising exec and veteran journalist Lisen Stromberg offers stats, anecdotes, and advice in her deep analysis on how to navigate the career journey that includes a ‘pause.’ Learn from her wise and thoughtful approach to managing the nontraditional career path.” —Carol Fishman Cohen, CEO of iRelaunch “Lisen Stromberg explodes the false dichotomy faced by generations of career-minded women— either be an engaged mother or stay on track in a career Work PAUSE Thrive delivers a fresh alternative that millennial women (and men) are craving in their quest to thrive as parents with careers; for many women, the zig-zagging career path is the perfect fit! This is a must-read for women in every profession, for the partners and mentors who care about them, and for any leader serious about talent management!” —W Brad Johnson, PhD and David Smith, PhD, authors of Athena Rising: How and Why Men Should Mentor Women “A refreshing new take on the work–life conversation! Work PAUSE Thrive ‘disrupts’ the all-in model of career success and maps innovative paths to professional and personal fulfillment A mustread for next generation employees and the companies that hire them!” —Samantha Walravens, editor of TORN: True Stories of Kids, Career & the Conflict of Modern Motherhood and coauthor of Geek Girl Rising: Inside the Sisterhood Shaking Up Tech “Lisen Stromberg isn’t just an author—she’s a whistleblower The alarm she’s sounding is music to my ears: that the obstacle course of working motherhood is doable With stats and stories, Stromberg reveals an alternate path for working parents … all while urging society to step up to better meet the needs of American families.” —Kat Gordon, CEO and founder of The 3% Movement LISEN STROMBERG BenBella Books, Inc Dallas, TX Copyright © 2017 by Lisen Stromberg All rights reserved No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews BenBella Books, Inc 10440 N Central Expressway Suite 800 Dallas, TX 75231 www.benbellabooks.com Send feedback to feedback@benbellabooks.com First E-Book Edition: January 2017 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Stromberg, Lisen, author Title: Work pause thrive : how to pause for parenthood without killing your career / Lisen Stromberg Description: Dallas, TX : BenBella Books, Inc., [2017] | Includes bibliographical references and index Identifiers: LCCN 2016034628 (print) | LCCN 2016047697 (ebook) | ISBN 9781942952732 (trade cloth : alk paper) | ISBN 9781942952749 (electronic) Subjects: LCSH: Working mothers | Work and family | Work-life balance | Career development | Women–Vocational guidance Classification: LCC HQ759.48 S776 2017 (print) | LCC HQ759.48 (ebook) | DDC 306.3/6—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016034628 Editing by Leah Wilson Copyediting by Elizabeth Degenhard Proofreading by Greg Teague and Kristin Vorce Duran Indexing by Amy Murphy Indexing & Editorial Text design and composition by Aaron Edmiston Cover by Allison Gellner and Sarah Dombrowsky Printed by Lake Book Manufacturing Distributed by Perseus Distribution www.perseusdistribution.com To place orders through Perseus Distribution: Tel: (800) 343-4499 Fax: (800) 351-5073 E-mail: orderentry@perseusbooks.com Special discounts for bulk sales (minimum of 25 copies) are available Please contact Aida Herrera at aida@benbellabooks.com To my mother, father, sister, and brother, for believing in me To Nora, for bearing witness To William, Maret, and Soren, for lighting the way by choosing me to be your mother To Bill, for staying the course, always And to mothers and fathers everywhere May you, too, have the support you need to nurture the next generation CONTENTS Introduction The Best-Laid Plans PART I—TRAILBLAZERS IN ACTION Chapter Disrupting the Paradigm: Successful Women Pause Chapter Innovating the Path: Work PAUSE Thrive Non-Linear Careers PART II—CANARIES IN THE COAL MINE Chapter Pausing and the Issue of “Choice” Chapter The Politics of Pausing Chapter A Tale of Two Countries Chapter Men Want a Place in the Home Chapter The Workplace Is Changing, Slowly PART III—YOUR CAREER, YOUR WAY Chapter Conscious Careers, Conscious Choices Chapter Working: The Foundation for Your Non-Linear Career Chapter 10 Pausing: The Innovator’s Solution Chapter 11 Thriving: The Career You Deserve, the Life You Want Chapter 12 Money Matters, Plan Accordingly Conclusion United We Stand Appendix Women on the Rise Survey Acknowledgments Endnotes Index About the Author cost of, 251–252 and pausing, 13–14, 174 Eggleston, Liz, 161 eggs, freezing, 193–194 Eide, Kitty, 100, 103 Eifert, Benn, 116–117, 135 eldercare, 96 employers, 125 See also workplace attitudes towards flexibility, 64 and child care, 151, 152, 294–295 choosing, 181–182, 183 (figure) culture of, 159–160, 182, 190–192, 281–285 expectations of, 118, 120–121, 124, 127, 131 and ideal worker model, 53, 57–58, 65, 118–119, 120–121, 131 suggestions for, 281–301 support from, 31, 40, 68, 144, 151–152 and work-life integration, 300–301 engagement, 229 entrepreneurs, 42–45 Equal Protection Clause, 62–63 Espinosa, Petrice, 218 exit interviews, 290 F face time, 295, 300 Facebook, 152, 165 Fairygodboss, 159–160, 182 Families and Work Institute (FWI), 121 family, and feminism, 74–75 Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), 102, 110–111, 124, 271, 293 family dynamics, 243–245 family values, 89 fathers See also men; partners as primary parent, 69 stay-at-home fathers, 69, 131–133 fear, 178–179 Feminine Filter, 246–247 The Feminine Mystique (Friedan), 3, 71 feminism, 74–75, 93, 109 Fenlon, Mike, 299, 301 fertility, 193–194 fertility rate, 171 finances, 209–212 cost of children, 255–256 and divorce, 267 financial consequences of pausing, 252 managing dynamics of, 242–245 planning for financial consequences of pausing, 254–268 retirement, 263–264 financial dependence, 243 financial services industry, 141–142, 158–159 Fitton, Laura, 181 flexibility, 30, 31, 34, 44, 86, 153–156, 182, 203, 204 flexibility bias, 63–65 Flynn, Diane, 8–9, 34, 218, 277 Folbre, Nancy, 94 Forman, Tami, 158, 159 Foye, Meghann, 278–279 freelance jobs, 152–154 Freeman, Anne, Friedan, Betty, 3, 12, 71, 72, 74–75 Friedman, Stewart, 119, 120, 122 Fudge, Ann, 56 Full Circle Program, 299 future earnings, 261 G Gadre, Laurie, García, Kelli, 122, 127–128 Gardner, Kathy Woeber, 232–233 gatekeepers, 163–165, 296–297 gender discrimination, 62, 141 gender equality, 100, 192 gender norms, 125 gender roles, 67, 121, 125–126, 132, 244–245, 267 Generation X, 15, 16 Gerzema, John, 301 Getting to 50/50 (Meers and Strober), 26, 66–67, 257 gig economy, 152–154 Glassdoor, 159 Global Tech Women (blog), 29 goals, of women, 72 GoDaddy, 281 Goldberg, Dave, 162 Goldberg, Rich, 162–163 Goler, Lori, 165, 189–190 Gonzalez, Lorena, 275 The Good Girls Revolt (Povich), 140 Graff, E J., 86 Great Recession, 91, 142, 212, 241, 251 greed, 49 Gross Domestic Product (GDP), 93–94, 115, 263 guilt, 70, 245–247 Gutierrez, Rose, 193 H Hackbright, 161 Hanna, Charlotte, 141 Hansen, Orval, 106 harassment, 137 Hartmann, Heidi, 261 Hasle, Else Marie, 104 Hatcher, Kella, 186–187 Heeney, Mary, 211 Help a Mother Out, 274, 275 Herring, Jessica, 44 Hersch, Joni, 13, 231 Herzog, Carolyn, 63, 200 Hewlett, Sylvia Ann, 22–23, 235 Hochschild, Arlie, 65, 118, 184 Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing, 137 household responsibilities, 65–67, 184–185, 244–245, 257 Hsu, Jean, 155–156, 292 Huang, Georgene, 159–160 HubSpot, 181 human capital, 219–222, 260 husbands choosing, 182, 184–185 and household responsibilities, 65–67, 184–185 and pausing, 32, 174, 251 privileging careers of, 66 spiraling with, 247–249 stay-at-home husbands, 80–81 support from, 46 I ideal mother bias, 67–71 ideal worker model, 53, 57–58, 65, 118–119, 120–121, 131 immigrants, 89 individualism, 109 innovators boomerangers, 27, 34–39 cruisers, 27, 29–34, 205, 207, 300 pivoters, 29, 40–48 traits of, 28 (figure) warriors for good, 45–48, 222, 285 intensive mothering ideology, 53 interconnectedness, 190 internships, return-to-work, 35, 157–159, 277, 297–298 interviewers, 163–165, 297 investors, women as, 142 iRelaunch, 12, 23, 35, 226–227, 277 Irving, Blake, 162, 281 Italy, 112 J Jenks, Atsuko, 214 Jezer-Morton, Kathryn, 279 job applications, 163–164 job descriptions, 297 job hopping, 187–188 job security, 241 jobs See employers; workplace Johnsen, Sigbjørn, 115 Johnson, Lisa, 205, 300 Johnson, Monica, 3, 16 Johnson, Whitney, 134 journalism, 139–141 K Kantor, Jodi, 86 Kawasaki, Guy, 254 Kay, Katty, 203 Kelley, Katie, 237, 238 Kiltz, Kristin, 209–211 Kimmel, Michael, 135 Kinnish, Mark, 171 Knussman, Kevin, 122 Kremer, Chrissie, Krzanich, Brian, 162 L labor, unpaid, 93–94, 95–96, 263 See also volunteerism Lagarde, Christine, 143 Lambert, Lisa, 189 lattice, 188–190 Laurence, Monica, 225 leadership, 71–72, 75, 80–82, 298–300 Lean In (Sandberg), 129, 152 leisure, 112–113 Levs, Josh, 125, 126, 130, 293 Levy, Jessica, 73 life insurance, 264–265 lifestyle, 209–212 Ligon, Julie, 21, 68 Locey, Penny, 229, 233, 298 Lovich, Debbie, 32, 34, 188 M Mackenzie, Lori Nishiura, 285–286 Madansky, Michele, 59 Madowitz, Michael, 258 Malykhina, Elena, 190–191 manifesto, 302, 303 (figure) Marts, Sharon, 96 masculinity, 126–128, 133 maternal gatekeeping, 128–131 maternal wall, 62–63 maternity leave See also parental leave benefits of, 147–148 and disability insurance, 265–266 and gender equality, 192 and health of baby, 291–292 messages about, 200 and motherhood bias, 149 in Norway, 101, 102, 103, 104 performance reviews after, 62 returning from, 203–205 right amount of, 291–292 skimping on, 199–200 taking advantage of, 201–203 in United States, 102 and worker retention, 149 Matthews, Rosine, 36 Mattox, Kuae, 89–90 Maybrooks, 182 Mazella, Jennifer, 45–46, 179 McCann, Tibi, 3, 4, McPherson, Lisa, 4, 13 Mead, Margaret, 270 Medium, 155–156 Meers, Sharon, 26, 66–67 men See also paternity leave as allies, 162–163 attitudes toward working mothers, 119–120 blaming, 280–281 and caregiving, 122–123, 126–128 desire to be involved fathers, 116–117, 119–120, 280 expectations of, 280 and household responsibilities, 65–67 and ideal worker model, 58, 118–119 and masculinity, 126–128, 133 new real men, 135 as primary parent, 69 and responsibility for paying for child care, 258 shut out from caregiving, 128–131 stay-at-home fathers, 69, 131–133 and work, 74, 120–121, 124, 125, 127 Mendhro, Umaimah, 22 Menlo Innovations, 300–301 Meternity (Foye), 278–279 Michelini, Kriste, 21, 41, 42, 180 Microsoft, 200 military, maternity leave in, 148 Millennials, 5, 97, 144 attitudes about parenthood, 15 career paths of, 187–188 expectations about pausing, 16 expectations of motherhood, 15 as family focused, 171–172 and gender roles, 267 importance of paternity leave to, 293–294 as involved fathers, 119–120, 135 job prospects, 145–146 views of working mothers, 74 Millennials and Management (Caraher), 76 Mocha Moms, 89–90 Mohr, Tara Sophia, 177, 178 Mom-in-Chief, 87 Mommy Wars, 39, 43, 91–93 Mom-preneurs, 42–45 MomsRising.org, 102, 273 money See finances Monge-Naranjo, Alexander, 212 Moravcsik, Andrew, 130 The Motherboard (podcast), 275 MotherCoders, 222 motherhood honesty about, 275–277 planning for, 171 postponing, 193–194 value of, 261, 265 motherhood bias, 45, 61–63, 65, 149, 239 motherhood penalty, 288 motherhood retention audit, 289–291 mothering, intensive, 53 mothers considered best caregivers, 69 views of, 56 and wage gap, 62 on welfare, 88, 90, 92 mothers, single, 12, 174 mothers, stay-at-home, 89–90, 114 mothers, under-resourced, 273–275 mothers, working attitudes toward, 67, 91, 106, 114, 119–120 characteristics of, 12–13 effects on children, 67–68 fear of, 107 narrative about, 53 in Norway, 99–115 punishment of, 191–192 retention of, 146, 149, 150, 247–248, 283–284, 289–291, 299 in tech industry, 138–139 Mother’s Day Index, 261, 265 N Nadella, Satya, 138 Nakache, Patricia, 3, 4, 13, 40, 180, 242, 276, 300 Navarro, Jannette, 86 net price calculator, 258–259 Netflix, 199 networking, 188–190, 215–217, 232–234, 278 The New York Times, 140 The New Yorker, 140 Newman, Romy, 160 Newsweek, 139–140 Newton-Small, Jay, 142 nonprofits See warriors for good Norway, 99–115 now, living in, 219–220 O Obama, Barack, 87, 107–108 Obama, Michelle, 87–88, 90–91 O’Connor, Sandra Day, 11, 276 O’Donnell, Liz, 96 Off-Ramps and On-Ramps (Hewlett), 22, 235 onramps, 203–205, 291–292 See also re-entry Opting Out? (Stone), 22, 53 opt-out model, 6, 8, 9–10, 20–21, 22–23, 198, 239 See also pausing; Women on the Rise survey The Orange Line (Detjen), 246–247 Overwhelmed (Schulte), 106, 220 P Pao, Ellen, 59, 137 parental leave, 147–150 See also maternity leave; paternity leave advocating for, 271–273 benefits of, 147–148 lack of, 94 paid, increase in, 156–157 skimping on, 199–200 in tech industry, 199–200 as un-American, 109 in United States, 102, 147 parenting, generational attitudes about, 15–16 parents, caring for, 17, 96–97 parents, primary, 69, 80 partners choosing, 182, 184–185 and household responsibilities, 65–67, 184–185, 244–245, 257 and pausing, 32, 174, 251 privileging careers of, 66 spiraling with, 247–249 stay-at-home partners, 80–81 support from, 46 part-time schedules, 34, 65, 203, 204, 206–207, 292 Patel, Raeshma, 35 paternity leave, 123–126, 292–294 See also parental leave effects on career, 127–128 encouraging men to take, 149–150, 293 and reducing motherhood bias, 149 and worker retention, 150 Path Forward, 158 pausing, See also opt-out model as career suicide, as choice, 78 defining, 8–10 enjoying, 219–220 examples of, 10–11 financial implications of, 211, 252, 258–259 hiding, 6–7 length of, 212–213 and life satisfaction, 198 long-term implications of, 256 making peace with, 241–242 negative connotations about, 56 as reality, 49–50, 78, 187 refusal to admit to, 76–78 strategies for, 199–225 views of, 76–78 pay gap, 60, 62, 66, 261–262, 287–289 PayPal, 157–158, 297 Perfect Madness (Warner), 21, 70 performance reviews, after maternity leave, 62 Perrin, Maryanne, 236 Peters, Vidya, 201–202 pivoters, 29, 40–48 pivoting, 180, 236 See also careers, second PL+US (Paid Leave for the U.S.), 273 planning, 172, 173 for financial consequences of pausing, 254–268 for non-linear career path, 176–197 for thriving, 226–249 Plaschke, Bob, 229, 298 Platerink, Mary Page, 22, 180 Playing Big (Mohr), 177 policy makers, 302 Pollack, Sarah, 41 Pollack, William, Pomykala, Joanna, 229–230 Popova, Maria, 219 poverty, 88, 271, 273–275 Povich, Lynn, 140 power, 243 Pregnancy Discrimination Act, 102 present, living in, 219–220 The Price of Inequality (Stiglitz), 209 The Price of Motherhood (Crittenden), 94, 243 PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC), 299, 301 priorities, reframing, 10 privilege, and pausing, 84–87 pro forma, 254 productivity, 115 promotion, and gender, 66 pulling back, 205–208 See also part-time schedules; pausing purpose, finding, 223–225 Q quitting, 208–209 R race, and pausing, 87–91 Raine-Fenning, Nick, 194 reacHIRE, 228 Reagan, Ronald, 19, 88 Real Boys (Pollack), ReBoot Accelerator, 9, 218, 227–228, 277 recommitting, 34–39 recruiting system, 296–297 re-entry, 253 adapting and evolving, 236–238 and age, 212 boomerangers, 34–39 challenges in, 23, 39 and guilt, 246 and honesty about pause, 231–232 and length of pause, 213, 262–263 and maintaining skills, 218 and managing expectations, 234–235, 239 and persistence, 238–240 research on, 22–23 See also Women on the Rise survey returnships, 35, 157–159, 228, 277, 297–298 views of, 21 regrets, 25, 198, 212 Reshaping the Work-Family Debate (Williams), 127 results-only work environment (ROWE), 181, 295 resumes, 163–164 retirement, 262, 263–264 returnships, 35, 157–159, 228, 277, 297–298 Richards, Catherine, 239–240 Rodin, Judith, 9, 10 Romans, Bill, 129–130, 135 Rose, Stephen J., 261 Rosenthal, Nancy, Ross, Ruth, 229 Rotondo, Kathryn, 275–276 ROWE (results-only work environment), 181, 295 Rowe-Finkbeiner, Kristin, 273 Ruhm, Christopher, 292 S Sadasivan, Sunil, 297 Sandberg, Sheryl, 9, 12, 26, 75, 129, 152, 162, 185, 190, 215 savings, 264 Scaccia, Annamarya, 85 Schoppe-Sullivan, Sarah J., 128, 129 Schulte, Brigid, 106, 107, 220 Scott, Charles, 134 The Second Shift (Hochschild), 65, 118, 184 second shrift bias, 65–67 The Second Stage? (Friedan), 74–75 Segal, Lauren Gage, 31 sexism, 60–61, 71, 137–139, 141, 281 sexual harassment, 58–60, 137, 141 Sheridan, Rich, 300–301 Shinall, Jennifer Bennet, 231 Shipman, Claire, 203 short-term disability insurance (STDI), 265–266 Shulman, Angela Kung, 194–197 sick leave, paid, 14, 94 Siegel, Ruth-Anne, Silverman, Elissa, 272 skills learning, 160–162, 223–224, 259 maintaining, 217–218, 259 updating, 45 Slaughter, Anne-Marie, 49, 80, 82, 130, 232 Smith, Thao, 157–158 Snodgrass, Katie, 221 Snyder, Jenni, 136, 138–139 social media, 137, 190 social responsibility, 228 Social Security, 262 Sollee, Diane, 132 Spar, Deborah, 284 Spiraling Upward (Wallbridge), 49 spirals, 49 spouses choosing, 182, 184–185 and household responsibilities, 65–67, 184–185 and pausing, 32, 174, 251 privileging careers of, 66 spiraling with, 247–249 stay-at-home spouses, 80–81 support from, 46 St Onge-Carpenter, Erin, 23, 92 staffing audit, 286–287 start-ups, 43 staying in the game, 205–208, 259 STDI (short-term disability insurance), 265–266 Steinmetz, Katy, 16 STEM See also technology industry departure of women from, 82 turnover in, 289–290 women in, 136–139 Stiglitz, Joseph, 113, 209 Stone, Lisa, 3, 46 Stone, Pamela, 22, 23, 53, 80 Strober, Joanna, 66–67 student debt, 85, 251–252 support from employers, 31, 40, 68, 144, 151–152 from other women, 37, 39, 41, 90–91, 274, 277–278 from partner, 46 from superiors, 30 support, institutional See also child care; maternity leave; parental leave; paternity leave in Italy, 112 lack of, 16, 85–86, 89, 94, 133, 150, 270 lack of, for men, 126 in Norway, 100–101, 103, 104–105 Sweden, 149 Sweet, Julie, 287 T Tachna, Sue, 4, 244 Tait, Sarah, 171 Tamborski, Jennifer, 15 Tankersley, Lisa, 163–164, 256–257, 262, 297 Tech Inclusion Conference, 136 TechCrunch Disrupt, 137 technology industry age of employees in, 157 departure of women from, 30, 82 gatekeepers in, 163–165 greed in, 49 job growth in, 160 lack of women in, 136–139, 223 opportunity in, 160–162 parental leave in, 199–200 sexism in, 137–139 sexual harassment in, 59–60, 137 trends in, 152–166 women in, 166 TEDx Sand Hill Road Women’s Conference, 215–216 thriving, strategies for, 226–249 The Time Bind (Hochschild), 118 TitStare, 137 The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Ware), 119 Trump, Donald, 19, 49 Truong, Lisa, 274–275 Tumlinson, Anne, 96 U Uber Mommy, 70 unemployment, long-term, 212–213 Unfinished Business (Slaughter), 49, 80, 232 Universal Paid Leave Act, 272 V vacation, 113 Valenti, Jessica, 88 values of women, 72 and workplace culture, 80 Vassallo, Trae, 59 venture capitalists, 43 Viacom, 151 volunteerism, 95–96, 213–215, 221, 233, 259 Vostrejs, Meredith Miller, 217–218 W wage audit, 287–289 wage gap, 60, 62, 66, 261–262, 287–289 Waldfogel, Jane, 148 Wallbridge, Wendy, 49 Ware, Bronnie, 119 Warner, Judith, 21, 70 warriors for good, 45–48, 222, 285 Watts, Alan, 219 Weisman, Connie, 252–254, 267 welfare, 88, 90, 92, 275 Wells, Melanie, 175–176 Westervelt, Amy, 276–277 Whaley, Lauren, 304 Wienbar, Sharon, 161 Williams, Joan C., 57, 62–63, 64, 118, 127 William’s Doll (Zolotow), 128 Williamson, Marlene, 278 The Wisdom of Insecurity (Watts), 219 Women on the Rise survey, 24 (figure), 25–26, 308–328 Womenomics, 83 women-owned businesses, 42–43 women’s empowerment movement, 109 See also feminism work devotion, 58 Work PAUSE Thrive Manifesto, 302, 303 (figure) workforce, leaving, 9–10 See also career breaks; opt-out model; pausing working women, narrative about, 11 work-life balance, 176, 194–197, 280 work-life integration, 300–301 workplace See also employers caregiver bias in, 212, 278–280, 297 changes in, 23, 139 conditions in, and opting out, 53 definition of, 153 flexibility bias in, 63–65 ideal mother bias in, 67–71 ideal worker bias in, 53, 57–58, 65, 118–119, 120–121, 131 lack of change in, 49, 139–141 motherhood bias in, 45, 61–63, 65, 149, 239 second shrift bias in, 65–67 sexual harassment in, 58–60, 137–139, 141 unconscious bias in, 60–61, 62, 71, 138, 165, 281, 284, 286 workweek, 113 Y Yelp, 138–139 Z Zales, Grace, 3, 37, 245–246 Zecher, Linda, 10 Zolotow, Charlotte, 128 Zubulake, Laura, 141 Zuckerberg, Mark, 128, 152, 293 ABOUT THE AUTHOR fter a successful career in marketing and advertising, Lisen Stromberg left the business world frustrated by the lack of support for mothers in the workplace She zigged and zagged professionally and eventually became an award-winning journalist whose work can be found in The New York Times, Fortune, Salon, Newsweek, and other high-profile media outlets Now, as CEO and founder of PrismWork, a culture innovation consultancy, Lisen is back to her business roots partnering with companies, leaders, and advocates to ensure the next generation isn’t forced to choose between work and family Lisen has a BA from Dartmouth College, an MBA from the Haas School of Business at UC Berkeley, and an MFA from Mills College Now that their children are launched, Lisen and her husband, Bill, live in San Francisco where they are making a new nest A ... Flown” blog Work PAUSE Thrive: How to Pause for Parenthood Without Killing Your Career doesn’t just offer tactical solutions for integrating kids with careers, it also is a call to action so... building my career Somehow the doctors proved themselves to be miracle workers and managed to stop the labor With no amniotic fluid to protect my yet -to- be-born baby, I was forced to lie on my... whole Work PAUSE Thrive is not an anthem for the “opt out” movement To be clear, my agenda is not to convince women to leave the workforce On the contrary, I wish women didn’t have to put their careers