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OUTSMART STRESS How to Find the Right Ambition Formula for You THE SECRET PLOT TO KILL YOUR SEX LIFE Hailee Reveals a Side Nobody Sees Q Do YUoI Z u ©2018 P&G ALL MASK, NO MESS NEW Olay Clay Stick Masks Roll-on application for all mask, no mess © 2018 Estée Lauder Inc Made in your shade Double Wear Makeup Over 55 shades All skintones Flawless, natural, matte 24-hour wear Transfer-resistant Oil-free Waterproof For millions of women, it’s Double Wear or nothing esteelauder.com Cool, neutral and warm undertones THIS YEAR, WE MAKE EVERYTHING GLOW YOUR FIRST WAX IS FREE* ONE WAX IS ALL IT TAKES TO FALL IN LOVE europeanwax I WAXCENTER.COM *First-time guests only Valid only for select services Additional terms may apply Participation may vary; please visit waxcenter.com for general terms and conditions © 2018 EWC Franchise, LLC All rights reserved ©2018 L’Oréal USA, Inc What Andrea Krakovsky remembers most about her first time is the panic attack that followed She was 17, lying in bed with her 20-year-old boyfriend, Ben*—a restaurant cook she’d met through friends—in the basement of his parents’ house After weeks of discussion, they’d finally had sex ¶ ANDREA DIDN’T GO to a religious school She grew up The average age at which Americans start having sex By age 19, close to 70 percent of young women have had intercourse Called crisis pregnancy centers, or CPCs, these organizations often use deceptive tactics to try to convince women not to have abortions Shockingly, they’ve also been providing sex ed in public schools for years What We Found in Gwinnett County, Georgia, home to a cluster of Atlanta suburbs and one of the nation’s largest public education systems There, beginning in her freshman year at Brookwood High, she learned about “the birds and the bees” in health classes taught by teachers, football coaches, and speakers linked to a local anti-abortion organization They all used an “abstinence centered” curriculum called Choosing the Best (CTB) CTB’s message was and is simple: Everyone should wait until they’re married to have sex because “safe sex” isn’t really safe As a teen, Andrea learned about the failure rate of condoms but not how to use one She was shown stomach-turning slides of untreated genital warts but not advised how to reduce her odds of getting them, beyond staying abstinent Sex in any context outside marriage was portrayed as unhealthy or dangerous Intimate pleasure wasn’t mentioned at all (CTB officials did not respond to multiple requests for comment) Like Andrea, most teens taught this stuff will ignore it—95 percent of Americans have premarital intercourse, per the Guttmacher Institute, a research organization that advances sexual and reproductive health Abstinenceonly lessons don’t even much to delay sex, according to a nearly universal research consensus, which is why groups such as the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend a more comprehensive approach (i.e., teaching abstinence alongside birth control, STI prevention, and healthy relationships) A “just wait” message may actually make young people more likely to engage in risky behaviors when they have sex, since they are never told how to avoid pregnancy or STIs The drawbacks aren’t just physical “Abstinence-only can leave kids, especially girls, with a lasting sense of shame around their sexuality,” says Nora Gelperin, director of sexuality education and training at Advocates for Youth (AFY), which promotes comprehensive sex ed This can affect their equality, both in and out of the bedroom “Young women may disconnect from their sexual selves as they get older,” says Gelperin “They may not feel they have a right to pleasure or that they can assert themselves in relationships.” The money spent on the eight most popular federally funded abstinence-focused curricula and their potential impacts in terms of shame and stigmatizing language about sex (Analyzed with help from experts at the Guttmacher Institute, AFY, and Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, or SIECUS.) *NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 136 HARMFUL KEY It was a brief and, for Andrea, painful experience Instead of feeling newly grown-up or flush with tender emotions, she started to hyperventilate Slipping outside, she clutched a porch railing as she fought the urge to throw up She and Ben had used a condom, but she was consumed with fear that she’d just gotten pregnant or contracted a sexually transmitted infection Or wasted her virginity “I was taught that virginity was this huge, important thing that you give away to your soul mate,” says Andrea In ninth-grade sex ed, she’d been told to wrap her chastity in a box for her future husband Back then, Andrea brushed this off as ridiculous; she and her friends had already experimented with oral sex But now the words echoed in her brain What if she and Ben broke up? “I thought,” recalls Andrea, now 26, “I guess I’ll be damaged forever.” Emphasis on abstinence until marriage; no info about contraception or a focus on its failure rates; stigmatizing or shaming language about sex outside marriage Less HARMFUL Some information about contraception; some stigmatizing or shaming language about sex outside marriage ¶ AND YET, abstinence-focused education is currently taught all over the country, courtesy of you Yep: It’s paid for by your local, state, and federal taxes, with little oversight (States and districts that fund their own sex ed still look to Washington for cues on what programs to teach.) While ab-only lessons have been financed by the government since the 1980s, President Obama worked to slash their budget from a George W Bush–era peak of $176 million to $50 million while giving more cash to comprehensive programs proven to prevent teen pregnancy (Congress blocked him from scrubbing ab-only altogether and in 2015 hiked funding back to $90 million.) Under Least HARMFUL $10+ ¶ IN 2014, a guest speaker showed up in Sarah Badwan’s ninth-grade health class outside St Louis She invited five volunteers to the front of the room and handed each a single Choosing the Best REAL Essentials $10,867,640 $3,691,586 15 STATES STATES Heritage Keepers Relationship Smarts Plus Teen Outreach Program $3,291,510 $3,752,296 STATES 10 STATES Love Notes Promoting Health Among Teens: Abstinence Only $5 $2,625,819 $3,008,091 $4 STATES 13 STATES $9 Emphasis on abstinence as a health choice without moralizing about the need to wait until marriage; no material about contraception (although some include it in supplementary materials) Trump, funds have increased to $100 million—but the president requested a whopping $277 million in his 2018 budget, clearly revealing his priorities This, despite 66 percent of parents supporting sex ed that includes birth control On the ground, this means more ab-based teachings in more schools CTB is already taught with federal money in 15 states by 59 school districts and organizations (and in countless other places using state funds) That makes the curriculum Andrea found so traumatic the top federally funded program of its kind in America, according to data exclusively gathered by Cosmopolitan At the same time, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has tried to yank money from Obama’s remaining programs “The intention within the administration is clearly to reinvigorate abstinence-only until marriage,” confirms Jesseca Boyer, a senior policy manager at Guttmacher What’s more, officials have signaled a preference for curricula like CTB that stoke fear about premarital sex versus those that stress abstinence as a temporary health choice Meaning that the most potentially harmful curricula may see their influence grow at a time when STI rates are skyrocketing among young people and the #MeToo movement is proving that many Americans lack basic awareness of issues surrounding sexual consent and gender power dynamics (A spokesperson for the division of HHS that awards abstinence-focused cash says that new periodic reviews of these curricula look for “unintended consequences like trauma or ostracism” and may require programs to come up with “corrective action plans.”) For her part, Andrea suffered years of panic attacks and anxiety after sex “Every itch, every bump, every discharge—it all seemed like it must be an STI,” she says She became convinced she was a pervert for being attracted to both men and women, since sexual orientation wasn’t covered in CTB Persuaded that sex was bad and wrong, she waited until she was 19 to ask her doctor about birth control “Sex was stressful It wasn’t enjoyable,” she says “Shame is a really hard lesson to unlearn.” $8 $5,415,329 $7 STATES $6 $3 $2 $1 Million Making a Difference $5,684,318 11 STATES cheese cracker, telling them to chew, then spit it into cups of water Then she poured the first person’s sludge into the second one’s cup, the second one’s into the third’s, and so on, until the fifth kid’s drink was a mess of orange saliva “She said, ‘Do you see how gross that is because everyone poured their stuff in there?’” recalls Sarah “‘This is what happens when you have sex with multiple people.’” The kids didn’t know that the speaker was from a crisis pregnancy center, or CPC They did know the exercise was shocking, says Sarah She had already learned about abstinence from her mom and continues to believe it’s a smart choice “But it makes me feel physically sick to think of how [the teacher] taught it,” says Sarah, now 18 “Like, I’m scared to have sex because I don’t want someone’s previous partner’s fluids inside me.” Versions of this lesson still appear in curricula supported by the federal government YES You Can!—taught in hundreds of schools throughout New Jersey, among other states—was one of six new programs funded in 2017 by the Trump administration In it, three mouthfuls of chips end up in one person’s water; each represents a different STI “Some of these diseases can impact a person both physically and emotionally for the rest of their lives,” a teacher says “Can [they] also impact a future relationship?” The implication is clear, says Elizabeth Schroeder, a sexualityeducation expert who develops comprehensive curricula “It’s saying, essentially, that people with STIs are chewed-up garbage.” (Peggy Cowan, founder and president of the group behind YES You Can!, counters, “We are simply talking about risk An educator who sees anything but prevention is seeing something that isn’t there.”) ¶ PREVIOUS AB-ONLY curricula were criticized for distort- ing medical information But after facing bad press in the Bush years, many rebranded Certain ones now call themselves sexual-risk-avoidance programs Others removed sections that denigrated LGBTQ students or corrected falsehoods (One exception: YES You Can! still claims that “for preventing pregnancy, condoms are about 85 percent effec- tive when used correctly all the time.” In actuality, condom efficacy rises to 98 percent when they’re always used perfectly.) Some programs now refute that they’re shame- or fear-based “It is vital that students be given complete information about the significant health risks associated with STDs, along with the benefits and limitations of condoms… in the context of presenting delaying sex as the healthiest choice, consistent with medical fact,” states CTB’s website But the cracker activity shows how modern ab-only programs can still harm and stigmatize students “This kind of message is not going to encourage kids to get tested or feel positive about getting treatment if they need it,” says Schroeder Nor does it help them reduce their risk of getting STIs: None of the curricula Cosmopolitan obtained include demos on how to use condoms Indeed, three of the top eight curricula make contraception seem like an ineffec- in states such as Arizona, Colorado, Florida, and Michigan, “properly using a male condom” is listed as an “at risk” behavior for contracting HIV/AIDS Compounding the fear are photos of untreated late-stage STIs, which pop up in CTB, YES You Can!, and others A blooming patch of genital warts or bloody cervix implies that the worst possible STI outcomes are the likeliest Amid all this, teens might be forgiven for concluding that they can’t actually avoid risks if they are going to have sex, so why bother trying? “When you tell people that condoms don’t work, they have sex without them,” says Andrea Some researchers say these teachings are unethical by any name “[The new curricula] are a politically sellable way of presenting the same old ideas,” says John Santelli, MD, a professor of Population and Family Health and Pediatrics at Columbia University A 2017 review he coauthored found that ab-only programs “threaten fundamental human rights” by failing to help people protect their health “It’s unrealistic to expect that a 16-year-old will stay abstinent until she gets married at Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis reached alltime highs in 2017, per the CDC, with women ages 20 to 24 recording the highest chlamydia rates in the country C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 138 The federal government actually prohibits condom demos in the ab-only programs it funds Until last year, it also required contraception failure rates to be emphasized 26,” he says “We have an obligation to acknowledge reality and give people information about how to make good sexual decisions.” HHS official Valerie Huber has written that it “normalizes” youth sexual behavior (Ascend, the group Huber once headed, didn’t respond to requests for comment.) Other abstinence advocates insist that their programs are backed by research One study did find that students taught using Heritage Keepers—which gets federal cash in states ALARMINGLY, the Trump administration’s abstinence shift comes at a time when fewer students are getting any such as South Carolina and Texas—were less likely to have sexual education at all: The number of kids receiving formal had sex one year later CTB also trumpets a study showing its short-term effectiveness—without mentioning that the instruction about birth control and STIs has declined significantly since 2006 With little state or federal regula- impact lasted less than three months (Only 17 percent of federally funded ab-only curricula appear on a government tion in place (only 24 states and D.C even require sex ed), school districts can choose which, if any, curricula to use list of programs proven by at least one study to prevent teen They may opt for ab-only because some parents object to pregnancy or STIs HHS told Cosmopolitan that current legcomprehensive sex ed or because federal or state funding is islation doesn’t require ab-only curricula to be on this list.) In fact, studies have suggested that nonreligious students available or because a CPC will come teach for free Ab-only proponents say giving teens info about contra- who sign “abstinence pledges”—versions of which appeared ception gives them permission to have sex Trump-appointed in three curricula Cosmopolitan examined—don’t actually ¶ “[These lessons are] saying, essentially, that people with STIs are chewed-up garbage.” wait until marriage and may end up having more sex partners than students who don’t make pledges Whereas multiple studies have found that factual knowledge discourages risky behavior and can even cause kids to wait longer Perhaps because they’ve had little schooling on contraception, girls who sign and break pledges also have a higher risk for pregnancy outside marriage; ironic, since pregnancy is frequently presented in ab-focused classes as an unmitigated disaster Relationship Smarts Plus, taught with $3.2 million of federal funding in 10 states, includes a three-page letter from a fetus named “Lily” to her teenage mother, scolding her for drinking and smoking (“Mom, what are you doing with our life?!”) and asking her to consider adoption (In response to the notion that this may shame teen parents, the curriculum’s author, Marline Pearson, says the letter was written by a teen mom and that focusing on potential harms to a child taps young people’s “protective” instincts, spurring behavioral changes.) Some curricula veer into overt anti-abortion messaging Heritage Keepers tells students that “a baby’s heart begins beating just three weeks after conception,” while YES You Can! offers several pages of vivid 3-D sonogram images Says Dr Santelli: “We’re talking about an ideology or a belief system dressed up as science.” ¶ THE CURRICULA that Cosmopolitan reviewed often present subjective opinions or misinformation as settled fact, teaching that sex belongs within marriage, life begins at conception, premarital sex results in depression or causes women to bond permanently with their partners, and that, according to Heritage Keepers, premarital cohabitation leads to infidelity and domestic violence Intense focus on marriage as a life goal may be stigmatizing to young parents and kids with single parents of their own In Heritage Keepers, sex is compared to fire, with marriage the fireplace that keeps it safe (Heritage Keepers declined to comment for this story) REAL Essentials includes several pages asking teenagers to imagine “the wedding of my dreams.” Teachers stage mock nuptials, with students playing the part of the couple, wedding party, and photographer (Lauren Reitsema, a spokesperson for REAL Essentials’ publisher, says this emphasizes that “marriage is a great option,” not the only option Yet cohabitation is unfavorably compared to marriage throughout the program) Until last year, these Domestic abuse is more common among nonmarried couples who live together, but marriage may not protect against it, says sociologist Philip Cohen It could just be that women are less likely to marry abusers C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 140 “What will your vows be like? Who will be in your wedding party?” —REAL Essentials, 2018 classroom unions were decidedly heterosexual A new version of the curriculum is more gender neutral Still, LGBTQ students were almost entirely absent from the most popular programs A few mentioned them in passing, but zero included sections on sexual orientation or gender identity “To isolate [LGBTQ students] is actually less inclusive than including them in what we teach all students,” says Reitsema But Jennifer Driver, the state policy director for SIECUS, a group that promotes comprehensive sex ed, says that not addressing LGBTQ issues at all can exacerbate those teens’ higher risk for STIs, pregnancy, and sexual violence REAL Essentials and others also emphasize the controversial philosophy of success sequencing, which holds that graduating from school, working full-time, getting married, and having kids—in that order—keeps people out of poverty Many researchers dispute this, saying that it ignores the systemic forces driving poverty And that teaching success sequencing without teaching contraception—as REAL Essentials does—sets students up for disappointment and failure “You’re telling them that the only way to be successful is to delay having children until they’re married,” says sociologist Philip Cohen, PhD, a professor at the University of Maryland who studies social inequality, “but not giving them information on how to that.” ¶ SARAH BESS JONES ZIGLER, 25, says she’ll never forget the scorching waves of guilt that coursed through her body when a teacher asked her eighth-grade class to sign abstinence pledges Like Andrea, she grew up in Gwinnett County, where beginning at age 12 she was simultaneously sexually abused by a friend’s older brother and taught that sex must be saved for marriage This left Sarah Bess convinced that the assaults were her fault “I felt like I had tempted this boy because my body was too sexual, and now I had no chance of being pure again,” she says (A recent Guttmacher analysis suggests that 15 percent of high school girls have experienced sexual violence in the past year.) Meanwhile, several prominent ab-based curricula use outdated gender stereotypes to place sexual responsibility at women’s feet “These programs are full of victim-blaming messages that say, essentially, ‘If it happened, you probably didn’t say no loudly enough,’” says Laura Lindberg, PhD, a principal research scientist at Guttmacher Heritage Keepers suggests girls are responsible for controlling boys’ urges by telling female students to “choose Two curricula that teach success sequencing, Relationship Smarts and Love Notes, provide some info on birth control Marline Pearson, their author, says that her programs should be accompanied by policy changes that help underprivileged youth achieve their goals Teachings from actual abstinence-only lessons, all of which are paid for, in part, by your tax dollars your clothes, expressions, and gestures carefully” and to make sure “the messages you send match your values.” According to CTB, “competency” and “self-sufficiency” are men’s “primary emotional needs,” while “being together” and “quality of relationship” are women’s Several curricula suggest that women are sexually passive and harder to arouse “Boys are allowed to have a libido,” says David Wiley, PhD, a sex-education researcher in Texas “And it’s up to girls to keep those rapacious boys in check.” The fallout from these messages can extend far beyond graduation, perpetuating the unequal power dynamics that have been shown to increase women’s likelihood of coercive sexual experiences, even assault Meaning, with its renewed focus on abstinence, the government could literally be putting a new generation of women in harm’s way In interview after interview, young women told Cosmopolitan about the lingering effects of ab-only sex ed Some who were sexually abused wondered what they’d done to invite the attack; some felt deeply anxious about sex into their 20s; many ignored their own pleasure, convinced that sexual feelings were dirty Alexis Suh, 25, another Gwinnett County grad, recalls being pressured into having painful anal sex at age 15 “I didn’t know I could say no,” she says “Consent wasn’t a concept taught to me I just knew I didn’t want to get pregnant, but I wanted my boyfriend to like me.” “When girls are taught that women are supposed to be passive—and that their job is to appease or control men rather than stand up for their own sexual desires—it makes them vulnerable to a whole bunch of things that are not good for their sexual health,” confirms Amy Schalet, PhD, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst These teachings may even normalize aggressive behavior in boys, liberating them “to relinquish responsibility for their own bodies and actions,” says Schalet ¶ ACROSS THE COUNTRY, students are fighting back Earlier this year in suburban Philadelphia, a young woman named Abigail McElroy successfully campaigned to eject a CPC from her school after she was taught that girls who have had sex are like tape that has lost its stickiness Aly Burmeister, 18, from upstate New York, secretly recorded a school presentation in which a CPC speaker gave one boy a stick of gum that another had already chewed, explaining that the gum represented virginity “It was degrading— this was about a girl having to save her virginity, but there was nothing about the guys’ virginity,” says Aly (Her mom, Gina Tonello, got the CPC kicked out of the school district, although it still teaches elsewhere in the area.) Whether a groundswell of sex-ed advocacy can compete with millions of new Trump abstinence dollars remains to be seen Some schools may be resistant to change, says Gelperin “It requires resources and energy, and they may be concerned about being perceived as promoting sexuality.” “We shouldn’t just focus on the risks of sex,” says Lindberg about the path ahead “The purpose of sex education isn’t just to prevent pregnancy and STIs It should be about healthy development: communication, body image, self-esteem, consent, and pleasure Young people should Girls are taught they’ll be like chewed-up gum if they lose their virginity understand that they have a right to their own sexual pleasure.” Adds Gelperin, of AFY: “We have the opportunity to raise a generation that will better by each other.” In the meantime, many American youth will continue learning moralistic or incomplete lessons about a natural and essential part of their development, with implications for their health, safety, and relationships Back in Gwinnett County, Andrea has started working with the activist group Gwinnett Citizens for Comprehensive Sex Education A rep for the school district told Cosmopolitan that it plans to review its relationship with CPC-affiliated teachers this fall, for the first time in five years The spokesperson added that last year, district officials already reviewed Choosing the Best, the curriculum Andrea was taught They decided to keep it Q Only 41 percent of girls ages 15 to 19 described their first sexual experience as “wanted,” according to data from Guttmacher C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 143 HOROSCOPES By Aurora Tower | @AuroraAstro SAGITTARIUS Full Effing Speed Ahead! First, the New Moon on the 7th (the day after Mercury goes direct) jump-starts a new project Then you’ll catch a lucky break on the 20th, when the Sun aspects Uranus Finish strong as Mars moves into hot-blooded Aries on the 31st, making you the MVP of NYE YOUR YEAR: Wake up! Your daydreams are becoming realities February brings love, and April and June will have you visiting places on your bucket list By July, a project close to your heart comes to life SAGITTARIUS GAL NICKI MINAJ 12.08.82 I L LU S T R AT I O N : C I A R A P H E L A N A L L I M A G E S : G E T T Y I M A G E S 11.22–12.21 CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES 2 – 1 – – 0 – There’s no one more loyal to their crew than you, Cap queen, but that doesn’t mean you have to go along for every sleigh ride they schedule this season Host a soiree—chez you—for a quiet night of quality time You’ll be ready to revel when the Sun moves into your sign on the 21st, right before the Full Moon sets off some serious sparks CAPRICORN GUY: His respite from the madness? An invite to hibernation station with you All that work? Worth it You’ll sail into the 2nd, once glamorous Venus moves back into your zone of fame and success Don’t be shy about celebrating, especially when your buds want to make merry with you around midmonth And when fiery Mars is in your travel zone on the 31st, skip town for an epic NYE AQUARIUS GUY: Major good news is making him want to throw a major bash Enjoy! Crush that checklist! With passionate Mars in your sign all month, you’re getting shiz done and expanding your knowledge base On the 5th, when the Sun aspects your ruler, intuitive Neptune, set goals for next year The 20th will leave you flush for some self-gifting, but show your crew some love at month’s end too PISCES GUY: Homeboy is in the zone Cheer him on while he makes his dreams realities You will kick all the asses this month if you buckle down and get to work—even though the New Moon, on the 7th, entering your adventure zone may make you restless You’ll shift into high gear when your ruler, Mars, moves into your sign on the 31st That only happens every two years, so take advantage of the magic ARIES GUY: Enjoy the ride with Mr Impulsive, but bring your common sense with you TAURUS GEMINI CANCER LEO 04.20–05.21 05.22–06.20 – 2 – 2 You’ve made it to a good place, babe Say sayonara to stress when your ruler, magnetic Venus, reenters your relationship zone on the 2nd The Full Moon, on the 22nd, in your zone of friends and neighborhood activities is the perfect excuse to take your positive vibes on parade (read: holiday party hopping!) TAURUS GUY: He has love and affection on tap, so let it flow both ways Hey there, hot stuff Everyone is trying to get you under the mistletoe—but work is hella hectic too Being a good listener, in the office and out, is important right now Mercury is retrograde until the 6th and then moves into your relationship zone on the 12th The 24th brings your next big idea Twinkle bright! GEMINI GUY: He’s a dude divided Be patient, but know you’re due for attention too Your puzzle is coming together You’ve put a lot into a mega work win, but if there are still missing pieces, the 16th is a great day to find consensus among colleagues You’ll fill some fun into an area of your life that may have been feeling dark when a dreamy Full Moon enters your sign on the 22nd Say hiii to someone special under the mistletoe CANCER GUY: Let him pout in peace and you’ll get a gift in return ’Tis the season for you to glow Romance, and maybe an ex, will knock on your door after Mercury enters your zone of true love and fun on the 12th Just guard your wallet ’cause with such a full heart, overdoing it on gifting sprees is tempting On the 28th, a promising business connection that could lead to good things is made LEO GUY: Your guy is like the anti-Grinch—he does holidays right Fa-la-la for you! VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO 08 23– 09 2 09 23–10 2 10.23–11.21 Fun is on the horizon With your ruler, intelligent Mercury, retrograde till the 6th, you may need to redo a job Once that’s sorted, you can settle in for snuggles and holiday rom-coms at home with your besties When the Sun moves into Capricorn on the 21st, leave the nest for an inhibition-free escape and a few sexy x’s and o’s VIRGO GUY: By month’s end, he will be laser-focused on you, so let him have his fun first Your ruling planet, sexy Venus, is finally direct after a long retrograde this fall and moves into your money zone on the 2nd That means good things for your budget during a spendy time of year And a lucky connection between the Sun and Uranus in your house of relationships on the 20th could reignite an old flame LIBRA GUY: He makes everyone feel special, but you’ll never believe what he has in store for you All we can say is sleigh! With Venus in your sign on the 2nd, you’re running circles around everyone Thanks to your megawatt aura and clear mind, magic is imminent At month’s end, fly the coop to an exotic location, or check out a new spot in town You never know what (or who!) the 22nd’s Full Moon will bring SCORPIO GUY: The smolder is strong with this boy, but check your jealousy He’s here for you SAGITTARIUS GUY JAKE GYLLENHAAL 12.19.80 Your main man is a total social butterfly but may be sending mixed messages So set things straight! PROMOTION NEED IT, WANT IT, GET IT! What’s Hot 4-IN-1 CLEANSER DAY CREAM SPF 30 NIGHT CREAM EYE CREAM TimeWise® Miracle Set 3D™ TimeWise® Miracle Set 3D™ is a three-dimensional approach to skin aging that defends, delays, and delivers for younger looking skin Contact your Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant for details or connect with one at marykay.com SNAP TO PURCHASE THE TIMEWISE MIRACLE SET 3D! STATEMENT OF OWNERSHIP, MANAGEMENT, AND CIRCULATION Publication title: Cosmopolitan Publication number: 0530-4100 Filing date: October 1, 2018 Issue frequency: Monthly Number of issues published annually: 12 Annual subscription price: $29.97 Complete mailing address of known office of publication: 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019 Contact person: Kolin Rankin, Telephone: (212) 649-2816 Complete mailing address of headquarters or general business office of publisher: 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019 Full names and complete mailing addresses of publisher, editor, and managing editor Publisher: Donna Kalajian Lagani, 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019 Editor: Michele Promaulayko, 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019 Managing editor: Maria Baugh, 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019 10 Owner: Hearst Communications, Inc Complete mailing address: 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019 Stockholders of Hearst Communications, Inc are Hearst Holdings, Inc (complete mailing address: 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019) and CDS Global, Inc (complete mailing address: 1901 Bell Avenue, Des Moines, IA 50315) 11 Known bondholders, mortgagees, and other security holders owning or holding percent or more of total amount of bonds, mortgages, or other securities: None 12 Tax status: Not applicable 13 Publication title: Cosmopolitan 14 Issue date for circulation data below: September 2018 15 Extent and nature of circulation: Average no copies each issue during preceding 12 months A Total no of copies (net press run): 3,345,897 B Paid circulation (by mail and outside the mail) Mailed outside-county paid subscriptions stated on PS Form 3541 (include paid distribution above nominal rate, advertiser’s proof copies, and exchange copies) 1,917,395 Mailed in-county paid subscriptions stated on PS Form 3541 (include paid distribution above nominal rate, advertiser’s proof copies, and exchange copies) N/A Paid distribution outside the mails including sales through dealers and carriers, street vendors, counter sales, and other paid distribution outside USPS 147,235 Paid distribution by other classes of mail through the USPS N/A C Total paid distribution 2,064,630 D Free or nominal rate distribution (by mail and outside the mail) Free or nominal rate outside-county copies included on PS Form 3541 764,276 Free or nominal rate in-county copies included on PS Form 3541 N/A Free or nominal rate copies mailed at other classes through the USPS N/A Free or nominal rate distribution outside the mail (carriers or other means) 12,464 E Total free or nominal rate distribution 776,741 F Total distribution 2,841,370 G Copies not distributed 504,526 H Total 3,345,897 I Percent paid 72.66% No copies of single issue published nearest to filing date A Total no of copies (net press run) 3,221,800 B Paid circulation (by mail and outside the mail) Mailed outside-county paid subscriptions stated on PS Form 3541 (include paid distribution above nominal rate, advertiser’s proof copies, and exchange copies) 1,913,826 Mailed in-county paid subscriptions stated on PS Form 3541 (include paid distribution above nominal rate, advertiser’s proof copies, and exchange copies) N/A Paid distribution outside the mails including sales through dealers and carriers, street vendors, counter sales, and other paid distribution outside USPS 110,000 Paid distribution by other classes of mail through the USPS N/A C Total paid distribution 2,023,826 D Free or nominal rate distribution (by mail and outside the mail) Free or nominal rate outside-county copies included on PS Form 3541 761,265 Free or nominal rate in-county copies included on PS Form 3541 N/A Free or nominal rate copies mailed at other classes through the USPS N/A Free or nominal rate distribution outside the mail (carriers or other means) 3,947 E Total free or nominal rate distribution 765,212 F Total distribution 2,789,038 G Copies not distributed 432,762 H Total 3,221,800 I Percent paid 72.56% 16 Average no copies each issue during preceding 12 months A Requested and paid electronic copies 208,629 B Total requested and paid print copies and requested/paid electronic copies 2,273,259 C Total requested copy distribution and requested/paid electronic copies 3,050,000 D Percent paid and/or requested circulation 74.53% No copies of single issue published nearest to filing date A Requested and paid electronic copies 220,900 B Total requested and paid print copies and requested/paid electronic copies 2,244,726 C Total requested copy distribution and requested/paid electronic copies 3,009,938 D Percent paid and/or requested circulation 74.58% 17 Publication of Statement of Ownership is required Will be printed in the December 2018 issue of this publication 18 Signature and title of Editor, Publisher, Business Manager, or Owner: Donna Kalajian Lagani, Publisher SHOPPING INFORMATION COVER Dior, dior.com FOR THE LOVE OF HAILEE PAGE 119: Chanel, chanel.com GLOW-GETTING GADGETS PAGE 120: BeautyBio, beauty bio.com PAGE 121: Dr Dennis Gross, sephora.com PAGE 122: Clarisonic, clarisonic.com PAGE 123: ZIIP Beauty, ziipbeauty com PAGE 124: Georgia Louise, georgialouise.com PAGE 125: MDNA SKIN, mdnaskin.com ALL WARM & FUZZY PAGE 126: Lindsey Thornburg, lindseythornburg.com Eddie Bauer, eddiebauer.com Mavi, mavi.com Young Frankk, youngfrankk.com PAGE 128: Closed, closed.com Rachel Antonoff, rachelantonoff.com Garnet Hill, garnethill.com Ariat Two24, two24.ariat.com Tiffany & Co., similar styles at lenscrafters.com Dean Davidson, deandavidson.us Pop & Suki, popandsuki.com Yeti, yeti.com PAGE 129: Anine Bing, anine bing.com Land of Distraction, landofdistraction com Parker Thatch, parker thatch.com Pendleton Woolen Mills, pendleton-usa.com Moncler, moncler.com Mounser, mounser.com PAGE 130: Mother, motherdenim.com M Missoni, mmissoni.com Aerie, aerie.com Hysteria by Happy Socks, happysocks.com Universal Thread, target.com Ray-Ban, ray-ban.com Lele Sadoughi, lelesadoughi.com 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GET HELP AT OUR CUSTOMER-CARE WEBSITE AT SERVICE.COSMOPOLITAN.COM Cosmopolitan (ISSN 0010-9541) is published monthly, 12 times a year, by Hearst Communications, Inc., 300 W 57th Street, New York, NY 10019 U.S.A Steven R Swartz, President & Chief Executive Oficer; William R Hearst III, Chairman; Frank A Bennack, Jr., Executive Vice Chairman; Catherine A Bostron, Secretary; Carlton Charles, Treasurer Hearst Magazines Division: David Carey, Chairman; Troy Young, President; Michael Clinton, President, Marketing and Publishing Director; Kate Lewis, Chief Content Oficer; Debi Chirichella, Senior Vice President, Chief Financial Oficer © 2018 By Hearst Communications, Inc All rights reserved Cosmopolitan is a registered trademark of Hearst Communications, Inc SUBSCRIPTION PRICES: U.S.A and possessions: $29.97 for one year; $57.94 for two years; Canada add $15 per year; all other countries add $24 per year SUBSCRIPTION SERVICES: Cosmopolitan will, upon receipt of a complete subscription order, undertake fulfillment of that order so as to provide the first copy for delivery by the Postal Service or alternate carrier within four to six weeks For customer service, changes of address, and subscription orders, log on to Service Cosmopolitan.com or write to Customer Service department, Cosmopolitan, P.O Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593 To assure quicker service, enclose your mailing label when writing to us or renewing your subscription Renewal orders must be received at least eight weeks prior to expiration to assure continued service Manuscripts, drawings, and other material submitted must be accompanied by a stamped self-addressed envelope Cosmopolitan cannot be responsible for unsolicited material MAILING LISTS: From time to time, we make our subscriber list available to companies that sell goods and services by mail that we believe would interest our readers If you would rather not receive such mailings via postal mail, please send your current mailing label or exact copy to: Cosmopolitan, Mail Preference Service, P.O Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593 You can also visit Preferences HearstMags.com to manage your preferences and opt out of receiving marketing offers by e-mail Periodicals postage paid at New York, New York, and at additional mailing ofices Printed in U.S.A Canada BN number 10231 0943 Rt POSTMASTER: Send all UAA to CFS (see DMM 507.1.5.2) NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: Send address corrections to Cosmopolitan, P.O Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593 Vol 265 no C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 147 I certify that all information furnished on this form is true and complete I understand that anyone who furnishes false or misleading information on this form or who omits material or information requested on the form may be subject to criminal sanctions (including fines and imprisonment) and/or civil sanctions (including civil penalties) COSMO QUIZ Which Royal Are You? You’re invited A The same sheath dress and nude pumps you sport at most nuptials B An edgy lewk everyone will think needs tailoring (it’s fashion, dahling) C Something lacy and bright If people question the color, you’ll offer up a whitegloved hand As a tween, You’re walk- ing into a diner when bam—you bump right into Bieber You: A Nod, give a polite smile, and say “Bon appétit!” B Convince him to make his next bop an overtly feminist anthem C Give Biebs the evil eye for not opening the (greasy AF) door for you you fantasized about meeting your future spouse… When you A In a coed-dorm hallway, where you’d bond over your matching shower shoes A A decent-size house with a pool near your hometown B On a mysterious blind date with a total bad-boy type C At a family THE BREAKDOWN function—your kin invite the most interesting people brings her kids to work, and you get daycare duty By p.m., you’ve: A Encouraged them to write handwritten notes to their usual sitters B Spent so much time squatting and scolding, you realize child-rearing tones better than barre C Gotten the tots to start calling you Your Highness win the lotto (lolz), you’re gonna move into: B Um, a private plane? Now entering perma-honeymoon mode with bae C An 18th-century crib with servants’ quarters Cozy! M O S T LY A’ S M O S T LY B ’ S M O S T LY C ’ S Classy Kate Modern Meghan Kween B You’re one posh woman: graceful, well-mannered, and humble…but with a spine of steel Good on you for keeping your cool and always putting up a steady front Just remember that it’s also okay to bare your flaws and real feels once in a while Fearless is an understatement Like the latest addition to the Windsor crew, you’ve been sparkling since birth That said, you know how to rein it in when the situation requires, which makes you a whiz at navigating new challenges and uncharted territories Beyoncé who? People bow down to you You demand respect (without having to say a damn thing), and while you may be a bit of a traditionalist, you still have the ability to surprise people, thanks to that devilish little glimmer in your eye C O S M O P O L I TA N D E C E M B E R 148 By Helen Zook GET T Y IMAGES to a white-tie wedding (like, the fanciest) You wear: Your boss ogxbeauty.com | ogxbeauty ... the winning hand, you’ll both hit the jackpot! COSMOPOLITAN and CosmoHair by COSMOPOLITAN are a trademark of Hearst Communications, Inc © 2018 Hearst Communications, Inc All Rights Reserved MICHELE... SERVICE .COSMOPOLITAN .COM OR WRITE TO COSMOPOLITAN, P.O BOX 6000, HARLAN, IA 51593 FOR NEW SUBSCRIPTIONS, LOG ON TO SUBSCRIBE .COSMOPOLITAN .COM FOR ADVERTISING-RELATED INQUIRIES, LOG ON TO COSMOMEDIAKIT .COM OR... amazon .com) explores the darkly comedic problems of 11 What happens if you catfish your best guy friend? Christina Lauren’s My Favorite Half-Night Stand ( $12, amazon .com) imagines the results 12