Writing task 1 bar chart with trend

WRITING NOTES FOR WEDNESDAY 30.5.2018 The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant Introduction The bar chart illustrates/compares the percentages of divorces in Finland and Sweden between 2011 and 2015/during a 5-year period from 2011 to 2015 (1 sentence) from…to… = between…and…= during/throughout/over a X-year period from…to… Overview Overall, while the divorce rate in Finland increased slightly, the divorce rate in Sweden decreased noticeably This sentence is correct in terms of meaning and grammar, but you should avoid this way of writing because both clauses are of the same grammatical structure Overall, while the divorce rate in Finland increased slightly, that in Sweden saw a noticeable fall after years The Sweden’s figure was generally higher than Finland’s/ The Sweden’s figure was higher than Finland’s, except for the year 2015 (2 sentences) Use ‘that’ to replace ‘the divorce rate’ to avoid repetition Combine ‘4 sentence structures’ on the first page of the ‘Writing Structure’ handbook as guided Body In 2011, the divorce rates in Finland were about 38% and 44% respectively Again, there is no problem with this sentence, but you should not write this way – not just listing out data without any comparison In 2011, the divorce rate in Sweden was about 44%, which was some 6% higher than that in Finland/ which was higher than that in Finland by some 6% The figure for Finland the dropped to a low of approximately 35%, while there was a significant rise to the peak of 50% in Sweden (2 sentences) Try to use relative clauses to get better score for grammar criteria A low >< a peak = a high Body (HOMEWORK) - … and remained unchanged till 2015 - In contrast, … fell steadily/gradually - It is noticeable that…/ It is of note that… - 2015 was the only year when… It’s perfect to write 10-12 sentences, which are equivalent to about 170-180 words in your Writing task You are not advised to write more than that because you may have to sacrifice the time spent on Writing task to so Do not risk this way as uor writing task is worth more mark ... (HOMEWORK) - … and remained unchanged till 2 015 - In contrast, … fell steadily/gradually - It is noticeable that…/ It is of note that… - 2 015 was the only year when… It’s perfect to write 10 -1 2 sentences,... about 17 0 -1 8 0 words in your Writing task You are not advised to write more than that because you may have to sacrifice the time spent on Writing task to so Do not risk this way as uor writing task. ..Body In 2 011 , the divorce rates in Finland were about 38% and 44% respectively Again, there is no problem with this sentence, but you should not write this way – not just listing out data without