Dad’s Guide to Baby’s First Year Dad’s Guide to Baby’s First Year by Sharon Perkins, RN, Stefan Korn, Scott Lancaster, and Eric Mooij Dad’s Guide to Baby’s First Year For Dummies® Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com Copyright © 2016 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey Published simultaneously in Canada No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/ permissions Trademarks: Wiley, For Dummies, the Dummies Man logo, Dummies.com, Making Everything Easier, and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc., and may not be used without written permission All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners John Wiley & Sons, Inc., is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book LIMIT OF LIABILITY/DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY: THE CONTENTS OF THIS WORK ARE INTENDED TO FURTHER GENERAL SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH, UNDERSTANDING, AND DISCUSSION ONLY AND ARE NOT INTENDED AND SHOULD NOT BE RELIED UPON AS RECOMMENDING OR PROMOTING A SPECIFIC METHOD, DIAGNOSIS, OR TREATMENT BY PHYSICIANS FOR ANY PARTICULAR PATIENT THE PUBLISHER AND THE AUTHOR MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS WORK AND SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE IN VIEW OF ONGOING RESEARCH, EQUIPMENT MODIFICATIONS, CHANGES IN GOVERNMENTAL REGULATIONS, AND THE CONSTANT FLOW OF INFORMATION, THE READER IS URGED TO REVIEW AND EVALUATE THE INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THE PACKAGE INSERT OR INSTRUCTIONS FOR EACH MEDICINE, EQUIPMENT, OR DEVICE FOR, AMONG OTHER THINGS, ANY CHANGES IN THE INSTRUCTIONS OR INDICATION OF USAGE AND FOR ADDED WARNINGS AND PRECAUTIONS READERS SHOULD CONSULT WITH A SPECIALIST WHERE APPROPRIATE NEITHER THE PUBLISHER NOR THE AUTHOR SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES ARISING HEREFROM For general information on our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S at 877-762-2974, outside the U.S at 317-572-3993, or fax 317-5724002 For technical support, please visit https://hub.wiley.com/community/support/dummies Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com Library of Congress Control Number: 2016944020 ISBN 978-1-119-27579-4 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-27581-7 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-27580-0 (ebk) Manufactured in the United States of America 10 Contents at a Glance Introduction Part 1: From Here to Paternity: Conception to Birth CHAPTER 1: CHAPTER 2: CHAPTER 3: CHAPTER 4: CHAPTER 5: Fatherhood Getting Pregnant 27 Pregnancy: A Drama in Three Acts 41 Preparing for a Baby in the House 61 It’s Showtime! Birth 89 Part 2: The First Year 109 CHAPTER 6: CHAPTER 7: CHAPTER 8: CHAPTER 9: Being Dad to a Newborn 111 The First Three Months 137 Months Three to Six 161 Months Six to Twelve 183 Part 3: The Toddler Years 207 CHAPTER 10: Toddling Toward Two: Months 12–24 209 CHAPTER 11: Charging Toward Three: Months 24–36 233 CHAPTER 12: Adding to Your Family 251 Part 4: The Preschool Years 263 CHAPTER 13: Fun and Games 265 CHAPTER 14: Health and Nutrition 281 CHAPTER 15: Getting an Education 305 Part 5: What Happens When 319 CHAPTER 16: Being a Stay-at-Home Dad 321 CHAPTER 17: Serious Illness and Losing Your Baby .331 CHAPTER 18: Disabilities, Disorders, and Special Conditions .349 CHAPTER 19: Separation and Divorce 363 Part 6: The Part of Tens 389 CHAPTER 20: Ten Ways to Improve Your Partner’s Pregnancy Experience 391 Ways to Bond with Your Newborn Baby 397 CHAPTER 22: Ten Ways to Engage with a Toddler 403 CHAPTER 21: Ten Part 7: Appendixes 409 APPENDIX A: Resources for Dads .411 APPENDIX B: Glossary 417 Index 431 vi Dad’s Guide to Baby’s First Year For Dummies Table of Contents INTRODUCTION About This Book Foolish Assumptions Icons Used in This Book Beyond the Book Where to Go from Here PART 1: FROM HERE TO PATERNITY: CONCEPTION TO BIRTH CHAPTER 1: Fatherhood Dispelling Common Myths about Fatherhood The pros and cons of fatherhood 10 Knowing what to expect 11 Trading in your lifestyle (but not the sports car) 13 Only Fools Rush In 15 Hey, I’m not ready for this 15 My partner wants a baby 16 Timing isn’t always everything 17 Introducing the New-Generation Dad 17 Dadhood: A good time to man up 17 Joining the movement 18 Exploring care routine strategies 18 The Seven Habits of Highly Successful Dads 21 Help, I’m a Dad! 23 Asking for directions 24 Finding trusted organizations and sources of information 24 Internet research 25 Turning to friends, colleagues, and family 25 Starting your own group 26 CHAPTER 2: Getting Pregnant 27 Here Comes the Fun Part 28 Conceiving naturally 28 Tipping the odds in your favor 29 Conception’s not happening 31 Table of Contents vii Understanding What Can Go Wrong 32 Working out why conception hasn’t happened 32 Exploring other ways to get pregnant 33 OMG, You’re Going to Be a Dad 34 Getting confirmation 35 Knowing what to next 35 Choosing a healthcare provider 36 Things to before morning sickness starts 38 CHAPTER 3: Pregnancy: A Drama in Three Acts 41 Act One: The First Trimester 42 Eating for two — or how to gain 30 pounds in 40 weeks 42 Understanding the medical stuff 44 Dealing with common side effects in the first trimester 44 What’s your baby up to? 47 Act Two: The Second Trimester 49 Enjoying the golden trimester 49 Understanding more medical stuff 50 Dealing with common side effects in the second trimester 51 What’s your baby up to now? 52 Act Three: The Third Trimester 53 Making choices about the birth 54 Understanding even more medical stuff 56 Dealing with common side effects in the third trimester 57 Preparing for Project Push — are we there yet? 58 CHAPTER 4: Preparing for a Baby in the House 61 Getting the Right Gear 62 Baby needs new shoes . . . and a whole lot more 62 Filling the toy box 67 Strollering in style 69 Choosing the right car seat 70 Feeding, bathing, and entertaining 72 Making Room for the Baby 73 Finding functional furniture and gear 73 Decorating the nursery 76 Keeping pets and babies safe from one another 77 Filling the Changing Table 77 The great diaper debate 78 Crème de la crèmes 79 Stocking up on health essentials 80 viii Dad’s Guide to Baby’s First Year For Dummies of bronchiolitis, 295 temperature of chickenpox, 295 of bathwater, 121 of common cold, 296 of formula, 149 of conjunctivitis, 297 of room, 121 of ear infections, 297 tenderness, of breasts, 46 of gastroenteritis, 298 therapy, 370 of meningitis, 299 thermometer, 81 of pneumonia, 299 third stage, of labor, 91 of tonsillitis, 300 third trimester of whooping cough, 300 about, 53 synapses, 428 birth choices, 54–55 syntocinon, 428 common side effects, 57–58 medical vocabulary, 56 T tag, playing, 404 talents, bringing out, 274–275 talking during months 0–3, 149 during months 6–12, 193–194 during months 12–24, 221–222 during months 24–36, 236, 244–245 tantrums, during months 12–24, 228–230 taste problems during first three months, 154–155 during third trimester, 58 taxes, 174 teachers, father as first, 277 team sports, during months 12–24, 225 teamwork, 276 tear, 135 Technical Stuff icon, teenage babysitters, 178 teething about, 68, 145 defined, 428 diaper rash and, 145 during months 6–12, 187–188, 203–204 teething relief, 81 preparing for delivery, 58–60 “this too will pass” mantra, 12 thrush, 428 time learning about, 279 for yourself, 132 timing, 15–17 Tip icon, tiredness, from school, 312 toddlers about, 210–216 defined, 429 development of, 218–221 engaging with, 403–407 toilet training, 223–225, 429 toiletries, 86 tonsillitis, 299–300, 429 touch, during first three months, 155 towels, 84, 119 toxins, 69 toxoplasmosis, 335, 429 toy box, 75 toys age-appropriate, 150 during months 3–6, 168–169 during months 6–12, 197–198 shopping for, 67–69 Index 449 transition phase, of labor, 91, 429 vacuum extraction, 101 transport, 88 vagina, 29, 47, 52, 59, 60 treatment varicocele, 429 of bronchiolitis, 295 varicose veins, during third trimester, 57 of chickenpox, 295 vegetables, 43, 282, 283 of common cold, 296 vegetarian, 289–290 of conjunctivitis, 297 vernix, 53, 429 of ear infections, 297 videos, 247–248 of gastroenteritis, 298 violence-free home, providing a, 332–333 of meningitis, 299 visitors, dealing with, 134 of pneumonia, 299 vitamin A, 186 of tonsillitis, 300 vitamin C, 290 of whooping cough, 300–301 vitamin K, 429 trimester See first trimester; second trimester; third trimester voice, listening to your, 53 trimming nails, 146 W triplets, 48 trips, 272, 274 Waldorf/Rudolf Steiner, 308–309, 411 tummy time, 131, 148, 165, 400, 429 walking tummy tub, 72 about, 268, 269 TV, 247–248 to bring on labor, 95 twins, 48 during months 6–12, 191–193 two-cell stage, 29 with newborns, 402 to settle baby, 131 warm bath, 130 U ultrasound, 49, 50, 429 umbilical cord, 47, 52, 59, 60, 122, 429 underwear, 86 United Cerebral Palsy (website), 352, 413 urine sample, 50–51 U.S Department of Education (website), 315, 358, 413 U.S Department of Health and Human Services (website), 143 uterine wall, 429 uterus, 28, 29, 47, 52, 59, 60, 90, 429 warmers, 80, 119 Warning icon, water birth, 429 water breaks, 92 water games, 406 waterproof mats, 84 WebMD Postpartum Depression Health Center, 415 websites allergies, 289 American Academy of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology, 343, 414 American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 412 V vacations, 14, 199–202, 311 American Academy of HusbandCoached Childbirth, 415 vacuum, 429 450 Dad’s Guide to Baby’s First Year For Dummies American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 368 Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), 304 American Academy of Pediatrics, 25, 339, 411 First Candle, 346 American Association of Poison Control Centers, 414 Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, 414 American Cancer Society, 334, 343, 412 American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 415 American Council of the Blind, 412 American Diabetes Association, 343, 412 American Foundation for the Blind, 352 American Lung Association, 334 American Society for Deaf Children, 412 American Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Institute, 339 Autism Speaks, 354, 412 GreatSchools: School Ratings, 411 Hawking, Stephen, 357 Healing Hearts for Bereaved Parents, 346 health and nutrition, 283 healthy eating guidelines, 213 immunization schedules, 213 The International Childbirth Education Association, 415 IRS, 384 Lamaze International, 415 loss of a child, 332 Men’s Divorce Forum, 413 Bereaved Parents of the USA, 346, 414 miscarriages, 336 Brain Injury Association of America, 354 Montessori, 307 Multiples of America, 414 car seat add-ons, 71 Muscular Dystrophy Association, 352, 412 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 414 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Child Development, 412 Cheat Sheet, Children with Diabetes, 412 CJ Foundation for SIDS, 415 The Compassionate Friends, 346, 414 Consumer Product Safety Commission, 412 coupon, 255 custody, 376 Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, 343, 412 Daily Strength, 346, 371 Divorce Care, 371, 413 DivorceSupport, 413 drowning rates, 195 Early Intervention, 358 effective communication, 245 elimination communication (EC), 120 Music Teachers National Association, 411 national accreditation programs, 181 National Association for the Education of Young Children, 411 National Association of the Deaf, 352 National Center for Fathering, 413 National Center for Learning Disabilities, 354 National Down Syndrome Society, 354, 412 National Federation of the Blind, 413 National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, 414 National Institute of Mental Health, 414 National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, 413 National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders, 413 Index 451 websites (continued) National Stepfamily, 413 North American Montessori Teachers’ Association, 411 Online Grief Support, Help with Coping with Loss/Beyond Indigo Forums, 346 parenting courses, 383 playgroups, 197 postpartum depression (PPD), 159 reflux, 143 Reflux Support, 413 Ronald McDonald House Charities, 414 Safe Kids Worldwide, 412 Safe to Sleep, 74 safe toys, 69 schools, 309 Single Dads Support Group, 371 Single Parents Network, 371 Special Education, 413 speech milestones, 194 strollers, 70 The Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood Foundation, 415 Supplemental Security Income for Children, 358, 413 United Cerebral Palsy, 352, 413 U.S Department of Education, 315, 358, 413 452 U.S Department of Health and Human Services, 143 Waldorf Education, 308, 411 WebMD Postpartum Depression Health Center, 415 young dads, 116 weighing baby, 105 weight gain, 42–44, 152 what to expect, 11–13 whooping cough, 300–301, 429 wills, 174 wipes, 75, 255 word spurt, 222, 429 working changes in, 13 from home, 328–329 during months 3–6, 164 returning to, 198–199 work-life balance, managing, 135 workout routines, 292–293 wraparound jerseys, 64 written contract, 177 Y yoga, 293–294 young dads, 116 Dad’s Guide to Baby’s First Year For Dummies About the Authors Sharon Perkins, RN, has been a registered nurse, mostly in maternal-child health, for 30 years, a mother to five children for much longer, and a grandmother of three for the 14 best years of her life Sharon has been proud to be a For Dummies writer for almost the same length of time, writing many For Dummies books, including Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies, Breastfeeding For Dummies, and Infertility For Dummies Stefan Korn is a New Zealand–based Internet entrepreneur He is passionate about e-commerce and the web, and in general loves getting involved in new businesses His wife, Raquel, gave birth to their son, Noah, in May 2007, and the experience of becoming a father, as well as the challenges of looking after Noah, prompted him to join DIYFather.com Stefan has a PhD in artificial intelligence and an MBA in international business Before becoming an entrepreneur, Stefan held senior management roles for large international corporations in the IT, telecommunication, and hospitality sectors In addition to DIYFather, Stefan runs an investment company for online startups, WebFund Stefan is also actively engaged in community projects and enjoys tutoring for Wellington Community Education Scott Lancaster is the founder of DIYFather.com He is married to Renee, who gave birth to their daughter, Pyper, in July 2007 After discovering what little parenting information was available for fathers, Scott approached the other two directors, who helped him build DIYFather Scott looked after Pyper full-time for the first two years of her life and experienced being a stay-at-home dad (SAHD) Scott has an applied science degree with a major in agriculture and comes from a farming background Eric Mooij is married to Andrea, who welcomed baby Ava into the world in April 2008 Eric is also father to Nastassja, Christian, and Amber Although he is not living with his three older children, Eric has regular contact with them and supports them in every way possible Eric is keen to make a stand for separated families Coming from a broken family himself and having relived this experience with his first three children, he works hard to be a positive role model Outside of DIYFather.com, Eric works in IT and project management Dedication Sharon: This book is dedicated to all dads, everywhere, including my son Matt and son-in law Matt, two of the best dads I know And of course, my own dad, who was a product of his times and wouldn’t have changed a diaper if his life depended on it Author’s Acknowledgments Sharon: Lots of people help create a book, whether they know it or not Obviously, editors like senior acquisitions editor Tracy Boggier, project manager Michelle Hacker, development editor Georgette Beatty, copy editor Christy Pingleton, technical reviewer Anne McCartney, art coordinator Alicia South, and other behind-the-scenes people at Wiley know the part they played But every dad I know has contributed by planting ideas in my head about what a dad can and should be Just watching dads at the grocery store, in church, or at the park has allowed me to observe great dads in action and steal their ideas for ways dads can spend time with their kids Last but not least, I thank Jackie Thompson, who got me into this whole Dummies thing to begin with Publisher’s Acknowledgments Senior Acquisitions Editor: Tracy Boggier Production Editor: Selvakumaran Rajendiran Project Manager: Michelle Hacker Illustrator: Kathryn Born, MA Development Editor: Georgette Beatty Cover Image: ©monkeybusinessimages/ iStockphoto Copy Editor: Christine Pingleton Technical Editor: Anne McCartney Art Coordinator: Alicia B South WILEY END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT Go to www.wiley.com/go/eula to access Wiley’s ebook EULA ... Dad s Guide to Baby s First Year Dad s Guide to Baby s First Year by Sharon Perkins, RN, Stefan Korn, Scott Lancaster, and Eric Mooij Dad s Guide to Baby s First Year For Dummies®... mistake in the dad game Dad s Guide to Baby s First Year For Dummies Beyond the Book No book can cover everything there is to know on a topic For that reason — and because you may not want to carry... .177 Babysitters 178 Day care centers 179 In-home care 182 x Dad s Guide to Baby s First Year For Dummies CHAPTER 9: Months Six to Twelve 183 Keeping Up with Baby