DSpace at VNU: Rape disclosure: the interplay of gender, culture and kinship in contemporary Vietnam

DSpace at VNU: Rape disclosure: the interplay of gender, culture and kinship in contemporary Vietnam tài liệu, giáo án,...

This article was downloaded by: [George Mason University] On: 12 March 2013, At: 02:49 Publisher: Routledge Informa Ltd Registered in England and Wales Registered Number: 1072954 Registered office: Mortimer House, 37-41 Mortimer Street, London W1T 3JH, UK Culture, Health & Sexuality: An International Journal for Research, Intervention and Care Publication details, including instructions for authors and subscription information: http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/tchs20 Rape disclosure: the interplay of gender, culture and kinship in contemporary Vietnam Nguyen Thu Huong a a Department of Anthropology, Vietnam National University, Hanoi, Vietnam Version of record first published: 16 May 2012 To cite this article: Nguyen Thu Huong (2012): Rape disclosure: the interplay of gender, culture and kinship in contemporary Vietnam, Culture, Health & Sexuality: An International Journal for Research, Intervention and Care, 14:sup1, S39-S52 To link to this article: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/13691058.2012.675516 PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR ARTICLE For full terms and conditions of use, see: http://www.tandfonline.com/page/terms-andconditions esp Part II Intellectual property and access and license types, § 11 (c) Open Access Content The use of Taylor & Francis Open articles and Taylor & Francis Open Select articles for commercial purposes is strictly prohibited The publisher does not give any warranty express or implied or make any representation that the contents will be complete or accurate or up to date The accuracy of any instructions, formulae, and drug doses should be independently verified with primary sources The publisher shall not be liable for any loss, actions, claims, proceedings, demand, or costs or damages whatsoever or howsoever caused arising directly or indirectly in connection with or arising out of the use of this material Culture, Health & Sexuality Vol 14, No S1, November 2012, S39–S52 Rape disclosure: the interplay of gender, culture and kinship in contemporary Vietnam Nguyen Thu Huong* Department of Anthropology, Vietnam National University, Hanoi, Vietnam Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 (Received 15 August 2011; final version received 10 March 2012) This paper examines the social management of rape within kin groups in contemporary Vietnam, with a particular focus on the decision whether or not to seek legal redress Post-rape management entails negotiations among families on matters such as apology and compensation before a decision is made about whether to report the incident to the authorities By drawing on an ethnographic study of a limited number of respondents, this paper highlights how rape disclosure is often bound up with notions of family honour, with assumptions about kinship, gender relations, social belonging and shared responsibility in a collective society such as Vietnam Keywords: rape disclosure; kinship; honour; gender; Vietnam Introduction Sexual violence against women has been the subject of growing international attention over the past decades and is generally considered a serious violation of women’s human rights The relationships between violence against women and social constructions of sex, gender and sexuality in Asia have also received increasing attention in recent years, as seen in the growing number of English-language texts, articles and newsletters on the topic (see among many others, Manderson and Bennett 2003; Niaz 2003; Burns 2005; Nguyen Thu Huong 2011) The general view is that due to humiliation, pain and risk of stigma, women who have experienced sexual assault tend to treat it as a personal matter Most authors tend to portray these women as victims of male oppression and violence, while largely overlooking the agency of women Although rape has become more visible in Vietnam due to the changes brought about by Doi Moi (Nguyen Thu Huong 2011), the topic is still shrouded in taboo and shame.1 Why? Because to speak of being raped or sexually abused is to invite stigma and social exclusion, not only for the victim but for her extended family as well It is thus appropriate to examine a less studied aspect in rape research – the role of kinship – which still carries considerable weight especially in rural areas of Vietnam (Werner 2009) in decisions over whether or not to bring cases to light The empirical work undertaken by Luong (1989), Rydstrom (2003) and Vijeyarasa (2010) indicates that patriarchy in Asian cultures takes a different form from patriarchy in the West In the case of rape, the notion of family honour is used as a distinctive patriarchal tool to restrain the victim’s choice in pressing charges against the rapist In this study I will explore how the notion of family honour is manifested not by acts of violence but through efforts of negotiating a settlement and/or finding ways at the family and kin level to deal with social consequences caused by the rape of a family member *Email: huongethno@gmail.com ISSN 1369-1058 print/ISSN 1464-5351 online q 2012 Nguyen Thu Huong http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/13691058.2012.675516 http://www.tandfonline.com S40 Nguyen Thu Huong To understand how and why family dynamics and kin relations play a major role in the reporting decision, my discussion focuses on two main points: the gendered role of women in the kinship structure and family honour My findings indicate that the mother occupies a central place in the process of disclosing and/or reporting rape The significant involvement of mothers in the aftermath of their daughters’ rape confirms the observations made by Stoler (1989) and Douglas (1991) that women are held responsible for policing the moral-physical boundaries of their families, including the sexuality of women and girls By focusing on relationships between victims’ family members, within wider kin networks and within social hierarchies more generally, I try to gain insight into aspects of ‘face-saving’ that often arise in post-rape settlements Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 Methods and sample This paper is based on an ethnographic study of a limited number of respondents from the Kinh majority in Vietnam, using open-ended interviews, life histories and participant observation Given the cultural and social stigma attached to rape, I approached victims through a counselling office that provided a contact address in the flyers I distributed at the beginning of my research The flyer highlighted the purpose of the research, the confidentiality of personal information, the voluntary nature of participation and the free counselling services offered by a local non-governmental organisation – the Research Centre for Family Health and Community Development (CEFACOM) – whose main activities at the time focused on child sexual abuse The Research Centre for Family Health and Community Development had agreed to provide consultation to rape victims through its network, acting as a contact point for prospective clients coming from the flyer distribution campaign and providing information such as where to go for medical examination and/or psychological help, how to bring the case to court and where to find safe accommodation or temporary shelter if necessary Well aware that those seeking help may not be interested in taking part in the research, we made clear that everyone was welcome without obligation All in all, we distributed 50,000 flyers mainly in the Hanoi area In the end, I managed to follow 23 cases,2 including four cases pending from previous fieldwork conducted in 2005 Three were brought to my attention by CEFACOM and the rest came from the leafleting campaign Data were collected through interviews with these young women and girls, as well as members of their social networks including family members, relatives, neighbours, friends, colleagues and social workers.3 See Appendix for demographic details of research participants and types of rape Findings Intra-familial decision: going public or not Disclosure is a crucial first step in the process of reporting an assault to the appropriate authorities (Hanson et al 1999; MacMartin 1999) Accordingly, depending on the types of support providers (informal versus formal), victims may receive positive or negative reactions after disclosure (Ahrens 2006; Ahrens et al 2007) Prior research on rape disclosure (Felson et al 2002; Felson and Pare 2005) shows that speaking out about the assault to insensitive interlocutors may have detrimental consequences for the victims as they are subjected to further trauma at the hands of the very people they turn to for help The experience may seem like a secondary victimisation (Campbell et al 2001) Some of the women and young girls in this study suffered severe physical injuries as a result of rape These victims, however, did not initiate disclosure themselves; rather, Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 Culture, Health & Sexuality S41 their sexual assault was discovered ‘accidentally’, for example when the physical injury of a child was noticed by an adult It is important to add that children rarely have the resources to report directly to the police or other agencies Therefore they may have to rely on an adult for facilitating abuse reporting Moreover, one should take into account the social-cultural context of Vietnam where people often get things ‘done’ through informal networks rather than seeking recourse to official channels In such cases, reporting is a collective effort in which the individual’s moral position and meanings of the family’s honour are jointly negotiated This conceptualization, on the one hand, highlights the potential dynamics of the family as a whole in post-rape negotiations – which may leave out the victim’s voice On the other hand, family involvement can allow the individual victims of rape to turn their painful predicament into a more or less collective endeavour, a sort of social sharing, rather than having to bear it alone Before discussing the ways that kinship relations can influence rape experiences of women and girls in Vietnam, I will outline what rape is in the context of the current law In Vietnamese legal parlance, rape is defined as an act committed by someone who, through means of violence or a threat of violence or by taking advantage of the victim’s helplessness or other means, forces the victim to have sexual intercourse against her will It carries a punishment of imprisonment for two to seven years Convicted offenders are barred from taking up any positions of responsibility or performing certain kinds of jobs for a subsequent period of one to five years Terms of up to 20 years or even life imprisonment could be imposed in severe cases where victims suffer grievous bodily harm, perpetrators are known HIV carriers, or victims die or commit suicide as a result of rape (for a detailed treatment of the legal aspects of rape in Vietnam, see Nguyen Thu Huong 2006) I encountered several cases of rape involving a report to the authorities soon after the assault Take the case of 17-year-old Linh, raped by her uncle in 2003 In her own account, Linh’s mother, Nhi (54 years old) expressed her outrage over the rape of her daughter, particularly venting her anger at the offender, a member of her extended family Who would expect it to happen right in my mother’s house? What scum When they [Linh’s cau or younger brothers of her mother] dragged him away from her, he got down on his knees, kowtowed to grandma and cried out that everyone could beat him to death right there in the house Then he ran upstairs, threatening to jump to his death They [Linh’s cau ] had to drag him down as he raised a hullabaloo to cover his crime My mother [Linh’s ba ngoai or grandmother] was afraid that if he stayed in the house, my younger brothers would beat him up Yes, the three of them would beat him to death In that case they would commit a crime themselves Linh’s grandmother’s decision to contact the police came only after she had gone through a family drama involving intricate kin interactions It is interesting to note that the ‘rapist uncle’ at first appeared remorseful, fully aware of the prospect of returning to jail (he had previously served a long sentence for raping another niece) Since parents and elders in the family often command respect from and exert influence over their offspring, the rapist uncle turned to Linh’s grandmother – the de facto head of the household after her husband’s death – to apologize and seek pardon, together with a threat to kill himself This double act of contrition was nullified, however, by his denial of the crime at the trial The idea that women are accountable for their children’s behaviour and their family’s moral image is prominent in Vietnamese social discourse Women are the most affected when their families encounter difficulties Mothers are commonly blamed when reproduction goes awry (Gammeltoft 2007), while wives bear responsibility for marital conflict (Schuler et al 2006) Mothers are often blamed for the sexual abuse of their daughters In Linh’s case, the grandmother’s decision to seek legal intervention was Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 S42 Nguyen Thu Huong grounded in the anticipation of trouble if she chose to deal with the case informally It was a move to pre-empt her sons from committing crimes of their own At first glance the strong position of the elderly widow does not fit the general perception of Vietnamese kinship as dominated by patriarchal lineage But in fact the gender roles of men and women and the distribution of power within Vietnamese families can be seen as a paradox of power (Oosterhoff et al 2008) Although the woman’s traditional position is quite limited (Vu 2008), it is enhanced when she gives birth to a son, thus strengthening her husband’s line The wife’s influence becomes even greater when her sons marry, due to her right to ‘teach’ her daughters in-law Her authority increases even more after her husband’s death; elderly widows often act as matriarchs in their families (Teerawichitchainan 2009) This can be seen in Linh’s ba ngoai (maternal grandmother) acting as the de facto head of her household after the death of Linh’s ong ngoai (maternal grandfather) in 1998 Linh’s ba ngoai – the chairperson of the Women’s Union at the local ward and an important social figure – had been the breadwinner for her family of nine children ever since Her position inside and outside her family no doubt influenced her decision to report the rape to the local authorities Arguably, her involvement in local politics made her all the more aware of her obligation to report cases of child sexual abuse to the authorities, especially when it happened in her own family Examination of the family composition revealed that this ba ngoai was in fact the second wife of Linh’s ong ngoai, who also had a daughter from his first marriage This daughter was married to the man who raped Linh Was the ba ngoai, in seeking external intervention, trying to avoid blame for the internal conflict in her family? The grandmother’s decision to report to the authorities was a complicated, risky business The above example also illustrates how biological children are favoured over stepchildren, as reflected in the popular proverb doi nao me ghe ma thuong chong (No stepmother will ever love her stepchildren) It is relevant here to address how incest is perceived and defined in Vietnam The legal recognition of incest as a crime, as provided for in the Penal Code is part of an attempt to address with greater sensitivity the prevalence of sexual intercourse between close relatives It is interesting to note that Vietnamese people conceive of incest to include ‘blood/consanguineal relatives’ (i.e., parentschildren; grandparents-grandchildren) and those related by adoption or marriage within three generations of the family (i.e., the first includes adoptive, in-law and step parents; the second generation refers to full, half and/or in-law siblings and the third covers both patrilateral and matrilateral same-generation cousins) In this case, the absence of blood ties with the perpetrator – an affinal relative of Linh – made disclosure easier Because of the limited scope of this study I did not discuss potential differences in dealing with the issue of family honour in cases of rape involving perpetrators who are affinal relatives of the victims and cases of rape involving perpetrators who are acquaintances or strangers This could be a subject for future studies Pressing charges: the buffering effects of kin support In addition to the role of mothers (or grandmothers) in the decision-making process, the relationship between a mother and her own siblings or siblings in-law plays a buffering role in efforts to seek help More particularly, the response the victim’s family receives from its kin members is likely to affect its course of action, from reporting to initiating a lawsuit Thu, 17, was raped by a 66-year-old next-door neighbour in 2004 Her mother did not know about the incident until she was told by another neighbour one week later Thu had first knocked on this neighbour’s door for help Fearing that her mother would punish her, Culture, Health & Sexuality S43 she had wanted to cleanse herself so that her mother would not know what had happened Thu then turned to her co (paternal aunt – the younger sister of her dead father) who lived nearby and told her about the rape Knowing that her mother and her nha noi (paternal family) were not getting along and were unlikely to discuss the matter together, Thu sought support from this aunt However, the aunt used the occasion to badmouth Thu’s mother, blaming her for her daughter’s misfortune Thu’s mother, Sao (44 years old) recalled her anger when her mother in-law told her: Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 See, if you save a person’s life you will reap multiple merits, but this daughter of yours is pretty whorey, you know it If he [the rapist] goes to jail, it still doesn’t solve anything Women’s rape narratives are often called into question, even by other women who deny the reality of pervasive male violence against them and their loved ones (Shearer-Cremean and Winkelmann 2007) Emerging from this attitude is an emphasis on women’s responsibility for male violence that influences social attitudes towards women as victims Newman (2007), in her study of childhood sexual abuse in the USA, points out that the socio-cultural and historical milieu of sexual trauma create environments in which survivors anticipate disbelief, shame, blame, alienation or punishment from others The response of Thu’s grandmother reflects the nature of bloodline and intra-family relationships However, this bloodline relationship did not appear to act as a buffer in the disclosure process Thu’s aunt spread malicious gossip instead of giving her solace or tangible aid It is possible that the aunt did not feel comfortable discussing the rape with Sao The distance between Sao and her in-laws can be traced to their family history Though born out of wedlock, Thu’s father was the eldest son in the family While Thu’s paternal grandfather was still alive and seemed sympathetic towards Thu and her widowed mother, he did not give his dau (daughter in-law) and chau gai (granddaughter) any tangible help As Sao explained to me, this was because he was now living with a married son, on whom he depended Thu’s grandmother showed little sympathy after disclosure of the incident In doing so, she made a point of denying Sao a sense of belonging: Sao was neither part of the family nor a member of the extended kin group and thus had no moral right to ask for help Thu’s co (paternal aunt) told me in an interview: She [Sao] is just a peasant woman who left her village to pick garbage in the city At night she sleeps with the landlord, that’s why her daughter is good for nothing Sao herself was also the subject of gossip and was blamed for breaking up other people’s families Thu’s father was already married to another woman when they met Out of this complex intra-familial web, the moral line is simple: a mother who fails to live up to the moral ideal of chastity is bound to have a daughter who behaves in similar ways that will drag her into the mud This reasoning, which dominated the ‘public’ assessment of Thu’s sexual victimization, resonates with a long tradition in Vietnamese culture of attaching moral meanings to social events Local mores, grounded in Buddhist beliefs of luat nhan qua (karma), tend to link misfortune to the family’s lack of phuc duc (merit and virtue): what happens to a person in this life is governed by the law of cause and effect and may be due to actions in one’s previous life or those of one’s immediate family members More specifically, the Kinh believe that phuc duc tai mau, that merit and virtue are derived from the mother A good woman of proper conduct and morals brings happiness and good fortune to her family; a bad woman brings only tragedy and despair This popular belief masks the cultural construction of women as the keepers of morality (Nguyen and Harris 2009) Yet the accountability that phuc duc places upon family members through different generations may operate as a social resource for the fashioning of individual thought and action, in this case of the victims of rape Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 S44 Nguyen Thu Huong This moralized version of rape suggests that if the mother transgresses orthodox moral standards, the daughter might likewise Inevitably the victim/daughter is subjected to innuendo and suspicion that she may have provoked the rape herself This is in line with the framing of a ‘just world’, where the victim is seen as responsible for her fate, a mother is held responsible for her child-rearing and a woman is blamed for any deviant behaviour that goes against the prevailing gender ideology By challenging the perpetrator through legal action, Sao wanted to show that she had nothing to hide, thereby enhancing her credibility and reducing the risk of being blamed The negative reactions from her kin relatives also affected her decision to take legal action At another level, Sao’s anger was partly due to her failed attempt to claim for her daughter a proper place in the paternal family Given the position of Sao as a poor migrant widow living on the margins of society, such a claim would also appeal to a sense of responsibility on the part of her husband’s family Still, these kin members rejected her cry for help, giving no resources or referrals Left out in the cold by her family in-law, Sao decided to go it alone, bringing her daughter’s case to justice In doing so, Sao not only wanted to show that she was badly treated by her in-laws, but also what a poor migrant widow could to secure her and her daughter’s rights All quiet at one’s home village: a rescue alternative Sao did not turn to her natal kin for help because she believed that doing so would only bring shame and blame upon her The underlying cultural norm is that a married woman is considered as ‘belonging’ to her husband’s family, thus cutting her off from her natal kin (Be´langer 2002) Central to this view is the belief that a woman should consult with her husband’s family to which she belongs, both socially and morally Meanwhile, the support that Linh and her mother received from their maternal relatives seems to be in tune with the popular saying of chau ba noi toi ba ngoai (one can be a granddaughter of a paternal grandmother but the burden of care falls on the maternal grandmother) This in a way contradicts the scenario above But as Luong (1989) points out, even after marriage a daughter still maintains strong ties with her natal family, reflecting a certain bilinearity in the Vietnamese kinship system A closer look at Thu’s case reveals that the mother tried to keep the incident secret from her que (natal village), fearing social consequences would follow if others back home knew about her daughter’s predicament As Sao explained: Such a story will make it impossible for her to get a husband there I asked everyone [in her natal family] to keep it [the incident] within the family Later if she [Thu] wants, she might go back there to find a husband In doing so, Sao was preparing an escape route for her daughter to return to her home village, which may have hindered her efforts to seek social support from her natal kin A closer look at Sao’s interactions with the larger kin group indicates that speaking out about the rape had detrimental consequences for the mother herself as she was subjected to blame by the very people she turned to for help This most often occurs when there is no father figure in the family, highlighting the importance of the (usually male) head of the family, not only for the household’s socio-economic status but for upholding family life, discipline and morality Given the intricate interplay of family and kin relations, revealing the rape of a female family member is generally a risky and unpredictable matter These cases took place against the socio-cultural backdrop of the majority Kinh people and its Confucian emphasis on female virginity and chastity, where the public reporting Culture, Health & Sexuality S45 Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 of rape entails serious consequences – not only for the raped person but for the whole family But in Linh’s case, no one seemed to take this into account when initiating legal steps Linh’s mother, citing the need to protect her daughter’s good name, decided to drop the case only after the lower court passed an unfavourable judgment There are often conflicting family interests – particularly the parents’ own interests and the need to focus on their daughter’s well-being The following sections examine the complexity of post-rape dealings at the inter-familial level, which may result in a ‘sentiment-based’ negotiated settlement or a legal fight till the bitter end Apology and restitution In most incidents in this study, the victims’ mothers told me that the attitudes and responses of the offenders and their families influenced their decision over whether or not to file formal charges Mothers who initially reported the rape to the police sometimes reconsidered their decisions, eventually dropping the case In the case of 17-year-old epileptic, Nga, raped by a neighbour in 2003, the arrogant behaviour of the offender and his family was the major factor leading to her mother’s decision to report the rape to the police, though she and her family were well aware of the possible consequences Nga’s mother, Hoa (58 years old) told me: To tell the truth, when all this happened it was not really a good thing for my daughter, deep down I was very apprehensive Sao shared similar feelings: I did not want to start a big fight It’s a matter between humans and not with animals If it became a big thing, my daughter, young as she is, would have to bear all the shame The delay of the police in bringing rape charges against the assailants signalled to the victims’ families that they should resolve the issue informally The popular notion about female virginity also emerged in the local police’s thinking Hoa recalled: They [the police] said: ‘Your daughter is unhurt, that’s a good thing, no problem now Your family denounces his crime, which is just But since your daughter is OK, it’s better to drop it.’ The police’s emphasis on female virginity (‘your daughter is OK’) likely reflected their prejudices concerning the seriousness of the case, rendering the offender’s act not so serious as to be considered rape When this occurs together with blaming and doubting from the local community, it only reinforces the perception that existing systems not care For Nga and Thu, their lower socio-economic status may have encouraged the perpetrators and their families to deny responsibility, apology and compensation As Bataineh and Bataineh (2006) point out, the assumption is that apology shows a willingness to humiliate oneself, to the extent that it is a face-saving act for the recipient and a face-threatening act for the offender In Thu’s case, the offender was released after a nine-day detention The police did not investigate the case further, thus sending a signal that his crime would go unpunished Sao: He [the perpetrator] just acted arrogantly, telling his neighbours that he didn’t care or else he could have ‘slapped that damned woman’s face’ [Sao] At that time my blood boiled, I just wanted to fight him then and there If this was what he wanted, I’d take him to court to make it clear, black and white If his family didn’t have money, he’d have to come and talk to my family, asking for pardon, then I might forgive Apology, especially when involving some form of restitution, plays an important role in Kinh social relations Apology is often negotiated in the context of the extended family and clan Attempts to offer apology may restore face and re-establish harmony in social S46 Nguyen Thu Huong relationships which, in turn, may prompt forgiveness As Hook, Worthington and Utsey (2009) observe, for collectivists group, harmony and preservation of mutual face are crucial There are also cases of stranger rape when the perpetrator’s family is unavailable for negotiation or when the perpetrator cannot be identified In such cases, Nguyen Thu Huong (2011) has shown that as soon as the perpetrator is identified by the police, his family or representatives will all they can to get information about the plaintiff All in all, the practice of law enforcement in rape cases often reflects a power play between the victim (and her family), the perpetrator (and his family) and the local authorities Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 Half-hearted apologies and delaying tactics A half-hearted attempt to apologize on the part of the offender or his family was often cited as the main reason for the injured party to seek justice Hoa recalled: A few days later [after the incident] his [the offender’s] mother and his wife kept on coming here But suddenly they stopped coming, maybe they had already arranged something with the police The scoundrel began to insult our family He accused my daughter of selling him heroin, he had nothing to fear It costs him 50 million VND, he said, so go ahead and sue him, he dared us In this case, the offender’s family tried to extricate themselves by using their social connections, which explained their reluctance to offer an outright apology At first, the offender feigned goodwill by desiring an agreement with Nga’s family – a form of temporary appeasement Soon, however, he began spreading rumours that he had spent 50 million VND to turn the case in his favour – a form of psychological pressure on Nga’s family to make them drop the case or risk being sued for calumny From the offender’s perspective, success in having the case dropped would carry significant implications His family would be seen as having won the ‘struggle’ – socially as well as financially In the case of Ai, an 18 year-old who was intoxicated and gang raped by six teenagers in 2006, the offenders’ families delayed offering compensation until Ai’s mother filed a complaint The mother, Thi (48 years old), recalled how she reacted to the attitude of the offenders’ parents: I said to them: you just want to play it the hard way You all knew about the incident after it happened, but you didn’t tell us When we found out, you said you would pay compensation After a time you stop coming here, you said you couldn’t find the money To understand the half-hearted attitude of the offenders’ families, it is necessary to explore the implications of apology in resolving interpersonal conflicts When a person is accused of committing a misdeed, he/she is motivated to provide an excuse to avoid possible legal and social sanctions Offering a formal apology, especially when accompanied by compensation, is perceived as an implicit admission of guilt, with stigma attached not only to the offender but to all his kin When the need to negotiate arises, both parties profess a solution based on tinh lang nghia xom (community sentiment; cf Gillespie 2005) But if one party perceives that its demands are not met (for example too little compensation) or that it has the upper hand in the legal process (owing to social and political connections), the willingness to make peace can evaporate It is a tug-of-war involving both soft and hard tactics, with pauses in-between to assess the situation and rally support from influential quarters Meanwhile, the community looks on, offering support or disapproval depending on the nature of their social relations with the involved parties Conversely, attempts to pursue legal justice may be prompted by social pressure from people outside the kin network For instance, a neighbour commented in Nga’s case: Everyone says: it shows that your family has lost to his family They have money, but you don’t You can’t pay the police, that’s why you lost Culture, Health & Sexuality S47 This suggests that despite the pain and embarrassment caused to the victim’s family, the decision to go public via legal channels can be an attempt to restore the family’s social status As Hoa explained: We must protect our daughter’s rights, to defend her honour It would give her some consolation and give us a clear conscience It’s strange The victim’s side is pushed deep in the mud while the offender’s side acts like victors That’s why we’ll fight this to the bitter end Concern about the family’s ‘face’ also entered the picture in Thu’s case This was different from the initial disclosure of rape, when her mother’s main worry was social disgrace for the whole family Now, filing a lawsuit was a challenge to the social reluctance to acknowledge that rape had actually occurred As Sao explained: Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 If I could bring a lawsuit, it’d be a good thing If I couldn’t, they [local people] would laugh at me, saying: you bring a lawsuit, but you can’t a thing against him [the perpetrator] Because of such criticism as well as uncertainty over the legal outcome, Sao told her neighbours that she would be away visiting friends, when in fact she was busy with the legal proceedings Her initial success, however, was crucial in changing the attitudes of others: After I filed the complaint and the police came here to arrest him, the neighbours said: Oh yeah, it’s true, her daughter was harmed They did not lie about it There was a measure of ‘heroism’ in Hoa’s account: It’s a matter of honour This scoundrel has raped quite a few women, but people couldn’t anything despite his crimes [the perpetrator was a known drug addict having close contact with senior police officials] First, it’s for the sake of our daughter; second, it’s a kind of contribution to society, this makes us determined to lay bare all the facts to set an example for others in the future By linking her daughter’s rape to the series of crimes committed by the same perpetrator, Hoa benefited from a sense of solidarity, even support, within her community This unexpected source of support brought a new dimension to the prosecution of the case, enhancing their chances of being heard and reducing the risk of being blamed The satisfaction of being heard encouraged Hoa to look beyond her family’s predicament to the larger picture where justice was yet to be rendered in similar cases The following section examines why Kinh women often take on the role of negotiator Mothers as peacemakers In traditional Kinh families, the wife is supposed to be in charge of day-to-day decisions on running the household, leaving the important decisions to the husband who is considered ‘the pillar’ of the family (Rydstrom 2003) As noted earlier, mothers are considered responsible for raising children and often bear the brunt of blame for their children’s misfortunes When it comes to rape – with all of its moral and social implications – the task is left to women as third-party mediators to negotiate a settlement This is not to say that the rape itself is perceived as a ‘minor’ affair Arguably, and regardless of the means by which the rape is resolved internally, the inherent secrecy surrounding it conveys the idea that sexual violence is something bad and dangerous Within the victim’s family, rape with its gender and sexual connotations is regarded as ‘women and girls’ affairs’, something the husband would rather let his wife handle The outcome of these negotiations, however, affects not only the ‘face’ of the raped woman but that of her family and wider kin Incidentally, the findings presented in this paper involved 18 cases where the father was absent or had a weak position as household head It suggests that further research is S48 Nguyen Thu Huong needed on the fathers of rape victims – in its own right as well as to test the argument that it is primarily (or only) mothers who disclose and report cases of rape Women who act on behalf of the offender often appeal to the emotions of their counterparts in the victim’s family – to sympathy based on their shared gender but also on their role as mothers As Thi told me: Tha`nh’s [the perpetrator’s] mother came here First she writhed on the floor then pretended to faint on the bed That made me quite afraid I had to call the neighbours over to act as witnesses I told them she did it on her own, none of my family did anything to her She said only I could save him, nobody else Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 Recourse to this informal woman-to-woman channel was also reflected in the case of 19year-old Nghi, raped by a friend known through an Internet chat room Her story contains the indirect threat of blackmail: Shortly after the son was arrested, his mother came straight here to apologize She kept saying to my mother: ‘Sister, please turn a blind eye so that our family could go on scraping a living If you take him to court, my son will surely get no more than three years, but your daughter will have a hard time getting a husband.’ The situation of 23-year-old Minh, in a well-publicized gang rape case, was more delicate since one of the offenders was her mother’s cha´u ho (matrilateral distant relative).4 Though Minh and her distant relative had not recognized_ each other during the rape, Minh was struggling with whether to ask for a reduced sentence for him: His mother came to ask me to write a petition asking for a reduction of her son’s sentence She said although he’s young and foolish, he still has many years to live They would give him a heavy sentence, no doubt She kept begging me She also put pressure on my mother I don’t know what to think Conclusion I have shown that the disclosure of rape – the crucial first step in the process of reporting an assault to the appropriate authorities – is inextricably bound up with ideas of family honour, kinship, social belonging and shared responsibility in a collective society such as Vietnam The family’s decision regarding disclosure largely depends on the degree of closeness between the parents of the raped victim and their kin, while the process of reporting a rape to the authorities reflects the interplay of kinship relations and the socioeconomic status of the parties In this sense, the decision to pursue a case through legal means constitutes an attempt to defend the honour of the family and that of the larger kin network On the other hand, when no support is received from the wider kin network, individual action can be seen as an attempt to put other kin members on the spot, forcing them to share the burden of social prejudice with the victim – their own kin My research also reveals that serious crimes against the integrity of persons, such as rape, are sometimes dealt with outside the justice system – which is against the letter of the law In patriarchal societies, the chastity of a woman is not only emblematic of her dignity and morality, but also reflects the good name of her family, clan, kin group or class This is what is affected when women and girls are raped or otherwise abused But rape is a threat that hangs over each and every woman in Vietnam and elsewhere, like a sword of Damocles In other words, the issue is not just about rape, but about the discursive and practical constraints on women’s freedoms There are social rules that remain under the surface until one unwittingly transgresses them and feels the sanctions Through exposure to such sanctions and – more commonly – the threat thereof, women and girls in Vietnam are constantly reminded of their ‘proper’ behaviour Women, as mothers, know the rules Culture, Health & Sexuality S49 all too well and more often than not actively contribute to upholding these gendered social and sexual norms, even at the expense of their own daughters’ welfare Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 Notes While the broad definition of rape covers categories such as marital rape, date rape, homosexual rape etc., this study does not restrict itself to any specific kind of rape It focuses on the problem of female victimization since the majority of reported rape cases conform to the pattern of male perpetrators and female victims However, one should bear in mind that victims of sexual crimes are not always female and perpetrators are not always male Seven participants in this project belonged to minority groups such as Hmong, Dao, Tay and Muong All names are pseudonyms This is to protect the anonymity of the participants in this research project This distant-relative perpetrator of Minh’s gang rape is seen as an affinal relative The rape is thus not viewed as incest References Ahrens, C 2006 Being silenced: The impact of negative social reactions on the disclosure of rape American Journal of Community Psychology 38: 263– 74 Ahrens, C.E., R Campbell, N.K Ternier-Thames, S.M Wasco, and T Sefl 2007 Deciding whom to tell: Expectations and outcomes of rape survivors’ first disclosures Psychology of Women Quarterly 31: 38 – 49 Bataineh, R., and R Bataineh 2006 Apology strategies of Jordanian EFL university students Journal of Pragmatics 38: 1901– 27 Be´langer, D 2002 Son preference in a rural village in North Vietnam Studies in Family Planning 33: 321– 34 Burns, C 2005 Sexual violence and the law in Japan London: Routledge Curzon Campbell, R., S.M Wasco, C.E Ahrens, T Sefl, and H.E Barnes 2001 Preventing the ‘second rape’: Rape survivors’ experiences with community service providers Journal of Interpersonal Violence 16: 1239– 59 Douglas, M 1991 Purity and danger: An analysis of conception of body and pollution London: Routledge and Kegan Paul Felson, R., S Messner, A Hoskin, and G Deane 2002 Reasons for reporting and not reporting domestic violence to the police Criminology 40: 617– 47 Felson, R., and P Pare 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& Psychology 9: 503– 32 Manderson, L and L Bennett, eds 2003 Violence against women in Asian societies London: Routledge Curzon Newman, E 2007 Narrative, gender, and recovery from childhood sexual abuse In Survivor rhetoric: Negotiations and narrativity in abused women’s language, ed C Shearer-Cremean and C.L Winkelmann, 23 – 41 Toronto: University of Toronto Press Nguyen, L.K., and J Harris 2009 Extramarital relationships, masculinity and gender relations in Vietnam Southeast Review of Asian Studies 31: 127– 42 Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 S50 Nguyen Thu Huong Nguyen Thu Huong 2006 Rape in Vietnam from socio-cultural and historical perspectives Journal of Asian History 40: 185– 206 Nguyen Thu Huong 2011 Rape experiences and the limit of women’s agency in contemporary postreform Vietnam PhD diss., University of Amsterdam Niaz, U 2003 Violence against women in South Asian countries Archives of Women’s Mental Health 6: 73 – 184 Oosterhoff, P., A.T Nguyen, H.T Nguyen, Y.N Pham, P Wright, and A.P Hardon 2008 Holding the line: Family responses to pregnancy and the desire for a child in the context of HIV in Vietnam Culture, Health & Sexuality 10: 403– 16 Rydstrom, H 2003 Encountering ‘hot’ anger: Domestic violence in contemporary Viet Nam Violence Against Women 9: 676– 97 Shearer-Cremean, C and C.L Winkelmann, eds 2007 Survivor rhetoric: Negotiations and narrativity in abused women’s language Toronto: University of Toronto Press Schuler, R., A.T Hoang, H.S Vu, M.H Tran, M.T.T Bui, T.V Pham, and T.T Quach 2006 Constructions of gender in Vietnam: In pursuit of the ‘Three Criteria’ Culture, Health & Sexuality 8: 383–94 Stoler, A 1989 Making empire respectable: The politics of race and sexual morality in 20th-century colonial cultures American Ethnologist 16: 634– 60 Teerawichitchainan, B 2009 Household headship in the Red River Delta, Vietnam: The political construction of the family In Reconfiguring families in contemporary Vietnam, ed M Barbieri and D Be´langer, 329– 64 Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press Vijeyarasa, R 2010 The state, the family, and language of ‘social evils’: Re-stigmatizing victims of trafficking in Vietnam Culture, Health & Sexuality 12: S89– 102 Vu, H.S 2008 The harmony of family and the silence of women: Sexual attitudes and practices among rural married women in northern Viet Nam Culture, Health & Sexuality 10: S163 – 76 Werner, J 2009 Gender, household and state in post-revolutionary Vietnam New York: Routledge Re´sume´ Cet article examine la gestion sociale du viol au sein de groupes de proches parents dans le Vietnam contemporain, en se concentrant particulie`rement sur la de´cision ou non de chercher a` obtenir une re´paration en justice Cette gestion post-viol a pour implication des ne´gociations entre familles concerne´es pour l’obtention d’excuses et de compensations, avant que soit prise ou non la de´cision de signaler le viol aux autorite´s En utilisant une e´tude ethnographique ayant recrute´ un nombre limite´ de re´pondants, cet article souligne comment le de´voilement du viol est souvent lie´ a` des questions d’honneur pour la famille, avec des hypothe`ses sur la parente´, les relations de genre, l’appartenance sociale et la responsabilite´ partage´e, dans une socie´te´ collective comme celle du Vietnam Resumen En este artı´culo examinamos co´mo se han gestionado socialmente los casos de violacio´n en los grupos emparentados en el Vietnam actual, prestando especial atencio´n a la decisio´n de buscar o no una compensacio´n legal La asistencia tras una violacio´n implica negociaciones entre las familias sobre asuntos tales como disculpas y una compensacio´n antes de tomar la decisio´n de informar sobre el incidente a las autoridades Basa´ndonos en un estudio etnogra´fico de un nu´mero limitado de entrevistados, en este artı´culo destacamos de que´ modo la divulgacio´n de una violacio´n muchas veces esta´ unida a la nocio´n del honor de la familia, suposiciones sobre parentesco, relaciones de ge´nero, pertenencia social y responsabilidad compartida en una sociedad colectiva como es Vietnam Culture, Health & Sexuality S51 Appendix Demographic information on research participants and types of rape Case ID Age Marital Occupation Ethnicity Assault information Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 Stranger rape (n ¼ 6) Ai 18 Single High school Kinh student Minh 24 Single Health staff Muong Hanh 23 Single Health staff Kinh Hai 22 Married children Housewife Hmong Phi 14 Single Farm hand Dao Thao 19 Single Farm hand Hmong Intoxicated and gang raped by six teenagers in 2006 Attempted suicide; police notified; conviction of gang rape Robbed and gang raped by nine teenagers on a country road in 2007 Police notified and case is pending; media coverage Robbed and gang raped by nine teenagers on a country road in 2007 Police notified and case is pending; media coverage Raped while staying in a field hut at night in 2004 Police notified; conviction of rape Raped by a Kinh road builder in 2007 Police notified; case dropped Raped while staying in a field hut at night in 2004 Police notified; conviction of adolescent rape Acquaintance rape (n ¼ 9) Diep 19 Single Farm hand Kinh Diem 23 Single Sex worker Kinh Ly 25 Single Seasonal worker Muong Nga 17 Single High school Kinh student Nghi 19 Single Shop clerk Thu 17 Single High school Kinh student Nguyet 36 Married children Researcher Lanh 22 Single Vy 30 Divorced child Sophomore Kinh student Part-time sex Kinh worker Kinh Kinh Mentally handicapped; raped by a neighbour in 2007; became pregnant; baby given for adoption Unreported but known to the local community Sexually abused by landlord while working as housemaid in Hanoi in 2000; intoxicated and raped by a ‘client’ while working in prostitution in 2001 Unreported Raped by employer in 2005; became pregnant; baby given for adoption Unreported but known to local community Mentally handicapped; raped by a neighbour in 2003; sexually harassed by classmate Police notified; conviction of child rape Raped by chat-room friend; coerced into second rape in 2006 Police notified but case dropped Raped by neighbour in 2004 Police notified; conviction of having sex with a minor; media coverage Attempted rape by informant at research site in 2005; husband repeatedly forced sex in early marriage Underreported but attack known to local community Forced sex with boyfriend in 2007 Underreported Raped by ex-husband who proposed to remarry her in 2000 Underreported S52 Nguyen Thu Huong Appendix – continued Case ID Age Marital Occupation Ethnicity Assault information Family (affinal) relative rape (n ¼ 2) Linh 17 Single High school Kinh student Phuong 26 Married child Housewife/Ex-sex worker Kinh Raped by uncle in-law in 2003 Police notified and convicted of child molestation Raped by adistant relative on mother’s side in 1998; left home; became involved in prostitution Underreported Downloaded by [George Mason University] at 02:49 12 March 2013 Incest (n ¼ 6) Yen 14 Single Secondary student Dao Duyen 26 Married children Kinh Khanh 18 Single Small business owner Shop clerk Hong 18 Single High school Kinh student Giang 23 Single Office clerk Kinh Ngoc 18 Single Freshman student Tay Kinh Raped by brother in-law in 2007; rapist committed suicide Police notified but case dropped Sexually abused (non-penetration) by father in-law twice in 2003 Disclosed to husband but received with disbelief Sexually abused (non-penetration) by step father in 2003 Underreported Repeatedly abused by father since age of and raped at age of 13 Underreported but known to family and local community Repeatedly abused by father during childhood; left home Reported to newspaper (under anonymity); known to family and local community Repeatedly abused by father during childhood and raped at age of 14; left home and attempted suicide Reported to newspaper (under anonymity); known to family and local community  ... My findings indicate that the mother occupies a central place in the process of disclosing and/ or reporting rape The significant involvement of mothers in the aftermath of their daughters’ rape. .. between the parents of the raped victim and their kin, while the process of reporting a rape to the authorities reflects the interplay of kinship relations and the socioeconomic status of the parties... differences in dealing with the issue of family honour in cases of rape involving perpetrators who are affinal relatives of the victims and cases of rape involving perpetrators who are acquaintances