Psychology applied to modern life adjustment in the 21st century, 11e chapter 8

Chapter Interpersonal Communication Interpersonal Communication • Interpersonal communication is “an interactional process in which one person sends a message to another.” – – – It involves at least two people It is a process involving a series of actions It is not “one-way”, but bi-directional Interpersonal Communication, continued • Components of the communication process The sender – “person who initiates the message” The receiver – “person to whom the message is targeted” The message – “the information or meaning that is transmitted from the sender to the receiver” Interpersonal Communication, continued • Components, continued The channel – “refers to the sensory channel through which the message reaches the receiver” The noise – “any stimulus that interferes with accurately expressing or understanding a message” The context – “environment in which communication takes place” Technology and Interpersonal Communication • Electronically mediated communication “is interpersonal communication that takes places via technology” • Although technology offers convenience, there are some disadvantages: • • • Overlap between work and home Intrusion of private conversations into public spaces Absence of non-verbal cues that convey meaning in face-to-face interactions Communication and Adjustment • • • Effective communication is essential for many important aspects of life Good communication enhances satisfaction in relationships Poor communication is a major cause of relationship break-ups Nonverbal Communication, continued • Nonverbal communication – “is the transmission of meaning from one person to another through means or symbols other than words” • A great deal of information is conveyed in this manner, so it is important to recognize the general principles of nonverbal communication Nonverbal Communication, continued • General principles of nonverbal communication It conveys emotions: facial expressions and body posture can convey how we feel without words It is multichanneled: we use facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, vocal tone, and body language It is ambiguous: body language can be difficult to interpret Nonverbal Communication, continued General principles, continued It may contradict verbal messages: we may say one thing, but our body conveys something different It is culture-bound: nonverbal signals vary from one culture to another Elements of Nonverbal Communication Personal space • • Proxemics - “the study of personal space” Personal space – “a zone of space surrounding a person that is felt to ‘belong’ to that person” • Preference for amount of personal space depends on • • • Culture (see Figure 8.4) Status of the individuals involved How well you know the person Communication Problems • LEARNING OBJECTIVES – – Discuss some common responses to communication apprehension Identify five barriers to effective communication Communication Problems, continued • Communication apprehension – “or anxiety caused by having to talk with others” is usually followed by one of four responses: Avoidance – choosing not to participate Withdrawal – “clamming up” in conversation you cannot escape Disruption – the inability to make fluent statements Overcommunication – (e.g., nervous speech) Communication Problems, continued • Barriers to effective communication Defensiveness – “excessive concern with protecting oneself from being hurt” Ambushing – listening carefully only to then verbally attack the speaker Motivational distortion – hearing what you want to hear Self-preoccupation – being so self-absorbed the other person cannot equally participate Interpersonal Conflict, continued • Beliefs about conflict – – Most people believe any kind of conflict is bad However, avoiding conflict is usually counterproductive and leads to a selfperpetuating cycle (see Figure 8.12) – It is better to confront conflicts constructively so that issues can be aired and resolved Figure 8.12 The conflict avoidance cycle Avoiding conflict can lead to a self-perpetuating cycle: (1) people think of conflict as bad, (2) they get nervous about a conflict they are experiencing, (3) they avoid the conflict as long as possible, (4) the conflict gets out of control and must be confronted, and (5) they handle the confrontation badly In turn, this negative experience sets the stage for avoiding conflict the next time—usually with the same negative outcome (Adapted from Lulofs, 1994) Interpersonal Conflict, continued • Five types of conflict Pseudoconflict – false conflict from game playing Fact-based conflict – disagreement about factual issues Policy conflict – disagreement about how to handle a situation Value-based conflict – disagreement that occurs when people hold opposing values Ego-based conflict – emphasis on winning over resolving the conflict Interpersonal Conflict, continued • Styles of managing conflict – Two dimensions (concern for self and concern for others) underlie five distinct patterns of managing conflict (see Figure 8.14) Avoiding/withdrawing (low concern for self and others) Accommodating (low concern for self, high concern for others) Competing/forcing (high concern for self, low concern for others) Figure 8.14 Five styles of handling interpersonal conflict In dealing with discord, individuals typically prefer one of five styles The two dimensions of concern for self and concern for others underlie each of the five styles Interpersonal Conflict, continued Styles of managing conflict, continued: Compromising (moderate concern for self and others) Collaborating (high concern for self and others) – While compromising simply involves “splitting the difference”, collaborating involves finding a solution that is maximally satisfying to both parties Interpersonal Conflict, continued • Dealing constructively with conflict – – Make communication honest and open Use specific behavior to describe another person’s annoying habits rather than general statements about their personality – – Avoid “loaded” words Use a positive approach and help the other person “save face” Interpersonal Conflict, continued Dealing constructively with conflict, continued – – – Limit complaints to recent behavior and to the current situation Assume responsibility for your own feelings and preferences Try to use an assertive communication style Developing an Assertive Style, continued • The nature of assertiveness – Assertiveness – “involves acting in your own best interests by expressing your thoughts and feelings directly and honestly” – In contrast, submissive communication involves “giving in” to others • Individuals who use this style report feeling bad about being “pushovers” Developing an Assertive Style, continued The nature of assertiveness, continued – Aggressive communication is different from assertiveness and “focuses on saying and getting what you want at the expense of others” – Assertive communication is more adaptive than either submissive or aggressive communication, and is a skill that can be learned through assertiveness training Developing an Assertive Style, continued • Steps in assertiveness training: Understand what assertive communication is • Don’t forget about nonverbal cues Monitor your assertive communication • Identify when you are not assertive, find out who intimidates you, on what topics, and in which situations Developing an Assertive Style, continued Steps in assertiveness training, continued Observe a model’s assertive communication Practice assertive communication by using • Covert rehearsal – imagine using assertiveness in a situation that requires it • Role playing – ask a friend to play the role of an antagonist so you can practice Adopt an assertive attitude [...]... for effective listening 1 Signal your interest in the speaker by using nonverbal cues • • • • Face the speaker squarely Lean toward him or her Try not to cross arms and legs Maintain eye contact More Effective Communication, continued Tips for effective listening, continued 2 Hear the other person out before you respond 3 Engage in “active listening” by – Asking for clarification if information is ambiguous... Communication, continued • Conversation skills: five steps for making successful “small talk” 1 Indicate you are open to conversation by commenting on your surroundings 2 Introduce yourself 3 Select a topic others can relate to 4 Keep the conversation ball rolling 5 Make a smooth exit More Effective Communication, continued • Self-disclosure – the act of sharing information about yourself with another person”... opposing values 5 Ego-based conflict – emphasis on winning over resolving the conflict Interpersonal Conflict, continued • Styles of managing conflict – Two dimensions (concern for self and concern for others) underlie five distinct patterns of managing conflict (see Figure 8. 14) 1 Avoiding/withdrawing (low concern for self and others) 2 Accommodating (low concern for self, high concern for others)... protecting oneself from being hurt” 2 Ambushing – listening carefully only to then verbally attack the speaker 3 Motivational distortion – hearing what you want to hear 4 Self-preoccupation – being so self-absorbed the other person cannot equally participate Interpersonal Conflict, continued • Beliefs about conflict – – Most people believe any kind of conflict is bad However, avoiding conflict is usually... leads to a selfperpetuating cycle (see Figure 8. 12) – It is better to confront conflicts constructively so that issues can be aired and resolved Figure 8. 12 The conflict avoidance cycle Avoiding conflict can lead to a self-perpetuating cycle: (1) people think of conflict as bad, (2) they get nervous about a conflict they are experiencing, (3) they avoid the conflict as long as possible, (4) the conflict...Figure 8. 4 Interpersonal distance zones According to Edward Hall (1996), people like to keep a certain amount of distance between themselves and others The distance that makes one feel comfortable depends on with whom one is interacting and the nature of the situation Elements, continued 2 Facial expression • Facial expressions convey basic emotions, recognized by people around the world • However, there... information is ambiguous – Paraphrasing what the person said by restating the speaker’s main points to ensure you have interpreted correctly 4 Pay attention to the other’s nonverbal cues Communication Problems • LEARNING OBJECTIVES – – Discuss some common responses to communication apprehension Identify five barriers to effective communication Communication Problems, continued • Communication apprehension... important to adjustment for several reasons 1 Sharing problems with others plays a key role in mental health 2 Emotional self-disclosures lead to feelings of closeness 3 Self-disclosure in romantic relationships is associated with relationship satisfaction More Effective Communication, continued Self-disclosure, continued • Reducing the risks of self disclosure – – – – Disclose information to others gradually... than the other is willing to disclose Watch for nonverbal “stop” cues from others Be aware of risks associated with electronic disclosures More Effective Communication, continued Self-disclosure, continued • Self-disclosure and relationship development – Self-disclosure varies over the course of relationships • At the beginning, there are high levels of mutual self-disclosure, which taper off as the. .. males Elements, continued 6 Paralanguage • Paralanguage – “includes all vocal cues other than the content of the verbal message itself” • Variations in vocal emphasis can give different meanings to the same words • Variations in speech also convey emotions (e.g., rapid speech indicates anxiety or excitement) Elements, continued Detecting deception • Nonverbal cues that actually indicate deception are ... message” The receiver – “person to whom the message is targeted” The message – the information or meaning that is transmitted from the sender to the receiver” Interpersonal Communication, continued... making successful “small talk” Indicate you are open to conversation by commenting on your surroundings Introduce yourself Select a topic others can relate to Keep the conversation ball rolling... Paraphrasing what the person said by restating the speaker’s main points to ensure you have interpreted correctly Pay attention to the other’s nonverbal cues Communication Problems • LEARNING OBJECTIVES