Trong cuộc sống hiện đại ít nhất chúng ta phải đối diện với một hoặc một vài người bạn mới. Dù đó là phục vụ cho công việc hay nhu cầu cá nhân thì khi chúng ta không nắm được bí quyết giao tiếp với người lạ thì ít nhiều sẽ gây khó khăn trong quá trình giao tiếp, có thể bạn sẽ ngại ngùng, rụt rè, sợ hãi, tim đập nhanh do không biết người đối diện như thế nào.
Never Eat Alone Do you want to get ahead in life? Climb the ladder to success? Master networker Keith Ferrazzi says the secret is in reaching out to others As he discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people is the way they use the power of relation ships - so that everyone wins Never Eat Alone: Expanded and Updated lays out the steps and mindset Ferrazzi uses to connect with thousands of colleagues, friends and associates: people he has helped and who have helped him This form of connecting to the world is based on generosity; Ferrazzi distinguishes genuine relationship-building from crude glad-handing These practical, proven principles include: don’t keep score (make sure other people get what they want, too); ‘ping* constantly (reach out to your contacts all the time - not just when you need something); never eat alone (‘invisibility’ is a fate worse than failure); and become the ‘king of content’ (use social media to make meaningful connections) In this classic, globally bestselling book youll discover the time less strategies used by the worlds most connected people, from Bill Clinton to the Dalai Lama And youll learn how to transform your own network, career and life A B O U T THE A U T H O R S Keith Ferrazzi is the founder and CEO of the training and consulting company Ferrazzi Greenlight and a contributor to Inc., the Wallstreet Journal and Harvard Business Review Earlier in his career, he was the CMO of Deloitte Consulting and of Starwood Hotels and Resorts, and the CEO of YaYa Media He lives in Los Angeles Tahl Raz has written for Inc., the Jerusalem Posty the San Francisco Chronicle and GQ Raz lives in New York City KeithFerrazzi.com Never Eat Alone, EXPANDED a n d UPDATED And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time KEITH FERRAZZI AN D TAHL RAZ // PORTFOLIO PENGUIN PO RTFO LIO PEN G U IN Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R ORL, England Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephens Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) Penguin Group (Australia), 707 Collins Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3008, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, Block D, Rosebank Office Park, 181 Jan Smuts Avenue, Parktown North, Gauteng 2193, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R ORL, England www.penguin.com Originally published in the United States in different form by Currency Books, New York 2005 Published in the United States of America by Crown Business, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC 2014 First published in Great Britain by Portfolio Penguin 2014 001 Copyright © Keith Ferrazzi, 2005,2014 The moral right of the authors has been asserted All rights reserved Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book Printed in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, St Ives pic A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN: 978-0-241-00495-1 w w w g re e n p e n g u in c o uk FSC" C018179 Penguin Books is co m m itted to a sustainable future for our business, our readers and our planet This book is m ade from Forest Stewardship Council™ certified paper For Mom and Dad Contents Preface xi SECTION The Mind-Set Becoming a Member of the Club Don’t Keep Score 14 What s Your Mission? 24 Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: Bill Clinton 40 Build It Before You Need It 43 The Genius of Audacity 49 The Networking Jerk 58 Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: Katharine Graham 63 SECTI ON The Skill Set Do Your Homework Take Names Warming the Cold Call 69 76 83 10 Managing the Gatekeeper—Artfully 92 11 Never Eat Alone 99 viii Contents 12 Share Your Passions 105 14 Be a Conference Commando 15 Connecting with Connectors 13 Follow Up or Fail 111 116 136 Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: Paul Revere 145 17 The Art of Small Talk 16 Expanding Your Circle 148 152 Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: Brene Brown Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: Dale Carnegie 158 167 SECTI ON Turning Connections into Compatriots 18 Health, Wealth, and Children Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: Adam Grant 173 182 19 Social Arbitrage 185 Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: Vernon Jordan 192 20 Pinging—All the Time 195 21 Find Anchor Tenants and Feed Them 205 SECTION Connecting in the Digital Age 22 Tap the Fringe 24 Engineering Serendipity 23 Become the King of Content 219 236 254 ix Contents SECTION Trading Up and Giving Back 25 Be Interesting Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: The Dalai Lama 27 Broadcast Your Brand 28 Getting Close to Power 29 Build It and They Will Come 26 Build Your Brand Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: Benjamin Franklin 31 Find Mentors, Find Mentees Repeat 30 Never Give In to Hubris Connectors' Hall of Fame Profile: Eleanor Roosevelt 269 285 290 298 316 327 332 336 342 352 33 Welcome to the Connected Age 360 Index 369 32 Balance Is B.S 355 Welcome to the Connected Age 365 parture from Starwood, one too many buttons had gone missing and I was in need of clarity—and happiness Until that moment, I thought I didn’t have enough time, or courage, for ten days of introspection But eventually, I took the Vipassana course and learned, for what seemed the first time in my life, to slow down and truly listen In the process I shed many—though not all—of the thoughts of what I “should” and “ought” to be doing If you commit yourself to finding your passion, that blue flame, its interesting how that commitment is rewarded with answers The answers that came to me after all that meditation helped me to reevaluate my pursuit of prestige and money and refocus on what Ive always known matters most: relationships Vipassana certainly isn’t the only way to get clarity, but so few of us give ourselves the time and space we need to come to a bet ter understanding of who we are and what we really want How had I—along with so many other perfectly capable and intelligent people I knew—allowed my life to get so far out of whack? By failing to ask ourselves the kinds of questions that are the most important: What is your passion? What truly gives you pleasure? How can you make a difference? When I left the meditation course and got back to the routine of my life, I was like a kid in a candy store There were so many people I wanted to meet! So many people I wanted to help! The pursuit of achievement could be, I realized, so much fun and so inspiring when you knew what was worthy of achieving We’ve been taught to see life as a quest, a journey that ends with, hopefully, meaning, love, and an IRA that will keep our golden years golden There is, however, no end, no final arrival; the quest never quite ends There is no one job title or one Brooks Brothers shirt or one dollar amount that can ever act as the ulti mate finishing line Which is why the achievement of some goals can feel as disappointing as failure Living a connected life leads one to take a different view Life 366 Never Eat Alone is less a quest than a quilt We find meaning, love, and prosper ity through the process of stitching together our bold attempts to help others find their own way in their lives The relationships we weave become an exquisite and endless pattern There is a line in a lovely movie called How to M ake an A m eri can Quilt that sums up this philosophy nicely: “Young lovers seek perfection Old lovers sew shreds together and see beauty in the multiplicity of patches.” What will be the legacy of your own quilt? How will you be remembered? These questions are potent measuring sticks for anyone who cares about making a difference, not just making a living There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best in the world, as long as you remember that doing so also means wanting to be the best fo r the world Remember that love, reciprocity, and knowledge are not like bank accounts that grow smaller as you use them Creativity be gets more creativity, money begets more money, knowledge begets more knowledge, more friends beget more friends, success begets even more success Most important, giving begets giving At no time in history has this law of abundance been more apparent than in this connected age where the world increasingly functions in accord with networking principles Wherever you are in life right now, and whatever you know, is a result of the ideas, experiences, and people you have interacted with in your life, whether in person, through books and music, e-mail, or culture There is no score to keep when abundance leads to even more abundance So make a decision that from this day forward you will start making the contacts and accumulat ing the knowledge, experiences, and people to help you achieve your goals But first be honest with yourself How much time are you ready to spend on reaching out and giving before you get? How many mentors you have? How many people have you men Welcome to the Connected Age 367 tored? What you love to do? How you want to live? Whom you want to be part of your quilt? •From my own experience, I can tell you the answers will come as a surprise W hats important probably wont come down to a job, a company, or a- cool new piece of technology It will come down to people Its up to each of us, working together with people we love, to make the world a world we want to live in As the an thropologist Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” It is my hope that you have the tools to make that a reality But you cant it alone We are all in this together Make your quilt count Index A Arnold, JefF, 83-84 Abdo, Mary, 92-95 Abisaid, Hani, 352 Arrogance, 336-41 Asimov, Isaac, 254 Accountability, for online content, Aspirational contacts: 247-51 Advergaming: description of, 81,197 Jack Valenti, 180 becomes recognized concept, 82 Michael Milken, 176 as a new concept, 77-78 Audacity, 49-57 promoting concept of, 276-77 Authenticity, 251-52 public relations campaign, Author-gurus, 144-45 305-6 B YaYa’s competitors and, 303 Advisors, Personal Board of, 34-38 Air travel, 105-6 Badore, Nancy, 59 Balance, as myth, 355-59 Akin Gump, 192-93, 194 Baldrige National Quality Program, Alexa rankings, 144 Allen, Woody, 195 Altucher, James, 238-40, 252-53 American Management Association (AMA), 55-56 Anchor tenants, 205-15 Anderson, Marian, 353-54 331 Barry’s Boot Camp, 75, 325 Bartels, Juergen, 35 Belletete, Aleta, 331 Berger, Jonah, 301 Bernbaum, Hank, 186-88 Birthdays, 202-4 Index 370 Blogs/bloggers: building audience for, 239-40, 247-48 Celebrities: authors, 144 at conferences, 127-28, 134 connecting with, 61, 144 endorsements by, 304 how to find, 144 posting images in, 301 getting close to, 316-26 studying information in, 229 linking your story to, 314 Blosil, Kent, 95-96, 203-4 “Blue flame,” 26-27, 28, 29, 365 “Board o f Advisors,” Personal, 34-38 Body language, 160-61, 164, 260 inviting to parties, 208 microcelebrities, 230-31 up-and-coming, 232 Chamber o f Commerce, 143 Champy, James, 29, 30 Bohn, Andy, 352 Charm, 42, 152, 160 Bok, Derek, 360-61 Chen, Jane, 305, 306 Bowie, David, 236 Children, 177, 179-81 Boy Scouts, 90 Brand, personal: Christakis, Nicholas, 225 Chugani, Brinda, 352 broadcasting, 296-97, 298-315 Church, inviting people to, 108 building, 290-97 Churchill, Winston, 73 maintaining loyalty to, 269 Cities, diversity in, 259 online, creating, 247 packaging, 295-96 Climan, Sandy, 37-38, 77,175 Clarke, James, 113,162 Brand Buzz, 84 Clinton, Bill, 40 -4 , 129-30 BrandWeek, 306 Brazen Careerist (Trunk), 245 Clubs or organizations: Brehm, Jim, 210 Brogan, Chris, 248 Brooks Brothers, 362 Brown, Brene, 158-59 Clinton, Hillary, 12, 99-100 becoming a leader in, 54 becoming a member, 3-13, 54 starting your own, 327-35 Cold calls, 52, 83-91 Buckley, William F., Jr., 337-40 College success, predictors of, 360-61 Burt, Ron, 189 Compromise, 89-90 Conference Board, 156-58 Business cards, 135 Buzz, creating, 303-4, 306, 307 Conferences: C asking questions at, 123 being an information hub at, 128 Cain, Susan, 123-24 benefits of, 103,116 Call lists, 197-99 as boondoggles, 117 Campbell, Joseph, 27-28 Candor, 155, 251-53 commando performances at, 116-33 CaP CURE, 176, 178 extending your network at, 116-35, Carnegie, Dale, 167-69,175, 177, 191 229, 259-60 Index 371 staying visible, 99-103 follow up after, 128, 132-33 getting close to power at, 323 using social arbitrage, 185-94 helping out at, 118-21 as way o f life, 356-59 as learning places, 259-60, 283 mastering deep bumps at, 129-30 Content: building online influence with, 236-53 meals and mixers at, 72 capturing attention with, 306 organizing conferences within, developing expertise in, 269-85, 125-27 sharing passions at, 109 speaking at, 121-23, 323 strategies and rules for, 118-33 288-91 online, accountability for, 247-51 Convention Industry Council (CIC), 121-22 taking advantage o f breaks at, 132 Connecting See also Relationship Action Plan Conversations: analyzing communication styles, 163-64 acknowledging referrals, 150-51 activities for keeping in touch, the art o f small talk, 152-69 for cold calls, 89 109-10 becoming a member o f the club, developing topics for, 162 fail-safe starters for, 159-60 3-13 graceful exits from, 164-65 Johari W indow theory, 163-64 by being interesting, 269-89 building connections before you monopolizing, 162 need them, -48 with connectors, 136-47 creating partnerships for, 148-51 Convex Group, 84-85 description of, 8,15 with diverse people, 101-3 Cowen, Taylor, 222 dividing network into categories, Credibility: Corcoran, Barbara, 231 Crains “40 Under 40,” 11-12, 80 of a conference speaker, 122 197-99 gaining early recognition, 196 conveying, in cold calls, 86, 87 by dropping trusted names, 131 great myth o f networking, 43 earning, 277-78, 307, 308 friendships and, 138 guiding principle, 174 enlisting experts for, 331 importance of, 7-8 importance o f loyalty for, 175 when broadcasting your brand, 303 Crowd-funding campaigns, 107, 243 making friends while, 63,65 by making people feel important, D 175 in new digital era, 360-67 Daring Greatly (Brown), 159 by pinging, 195-204 Daughters o f the American Revolu power of, 3-13 Dalai Lama, 285-88, 360 tion, 353 Index 372 Dean, Howard, 320-21 Eye contact, 129-30,161 Deep bumps, 129-30 Eye darters, 58, 61,134,162 Del Grasso, Serge, 85-86, 89-90 Dell, Michael, 29 F Deloitte & Touche Consulting: Facebook: building customer loyalty at, 181 addiction to, 234 conference strategies, 119-21 Ferrazzi’s early years at, 10-11, launching a group on, 330 making Fringe list on, 229 18-19, 25, 59, 347-49 gatekeepers at, 92-96 mentors at, 345-50 and social arbitrage, 185 Digrius, Bonnie, 108-9 personal information on, 70 status updates on, 242 using, for work contacts, 244 for work contacts, 113 Failure: Diller, Barry, 131 avoiding, by following up, 111-15 Dinners/dinner parties: arranging your own, at confer fear of, 52 going public with, 245 ences, 125-27 cohosting, 149 as a learning opportunity, 55,103-4 response to, 336 hosting, at home, 181 Family and friends, 110 for keeping in touch with contacts, Fast Company, 159,186,187, 228 109-10 for strengthening relationships, 205-15 Discouragement, 284 Diversity: in incidental encounters, 258-59 in online network, 228-29 Fears, 51-57, 83 Feigles, Virginia, 38-40 Feldt, Gloria, 230 Ferrazzi, Pete, 14, 49, 50-51, 343-45, 347 FerrazziGreenlight, 11,120, 189, 293, 342 Drucker, Peter, 283 Ferrazzi Time, 355-57 E Fogarty, Mignon, 243 Edgar, Jim, 331 Follow up: First impressions, 132,160-61 Edutainment, 276-77 Efficiency, 62-63 after conferences, 128,132-33 asking for, 86 E-mails, 90-91, 114, 242 com mitting to, 181-82 Emotions, 56,108-9, 288-89 Employer/employee relations, failing to, repercussions of, 111-15 script for, 56 61-62 Entertainment Media Ventures, 175 Executive Club (Chicago), 187 ExpertHabits, 248 Fontanella sisters, 344 Forbes magazine, 81, 223, 277, 306, 307, 308 Fortune magazine, 192, 278, 308, 316 Index Franklin, Benjamin, 332-35 The Fringe: becoming center o f your network, 225-26 leveraging, examples of, 223-25 leveraging, strategies for, 226-35 \7 \ H Hadfield, Chris, 236-37 Hammer, Michael, 25, 119-21, 133 Happiness, 18, 356, 358, 364-65 power of, 222-23 Harrell, Thomas, 153-54 scanning data streams, 219-22 Harvard Business Review, 288-89, Fundraising, 107, 142, 176, 322-23 Future Perfect (Johnson), 228 308 Harvard Business School, 3, 4, 7, 10, 46, 205 G Hattersley, Michael, 288 Gallo, Ray, 18 Headhunters, 140-41 Gartner Group, 108 Health, 18, 179, 283 Gatekeepers, managing, 92-98 Generosity, 14-23, 240-44 Heart, Smarts, Guts, and Luck (Tjan), Giametti, Bart, 25 Gill Foundation, 320-21 High Sierra, 186-87 263 Gingrich, Newt, 316 Hillman, Elsie, 15 Hodge, Chad, 352 Gladwell, Malcolm, 136,137-38 Hoffman, Reid, 232, 233-34 Global Conference (Milken Insti Homework and preparation, 69-75, tute), 71 Godin, Seth, 250 87-88 Honesty, radical, 238-40 Goenka, S.N., 363-64 Hotel Bel-Air, 148-49 Golf, -6 , 323-25 Google Hangouts, 103, 253, 330 How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie), 167 Google headquarters, 262 Google searches, 70, 74, 87 Huffington, Arianna, 143, 208 Humility, 336-41 Gordon’s Restaurant (Chicago), 139 Huston, Perdita, 212-13 Gossip, 61 Graham, Katharine, 63-65 “Grammar Girl” podcast, 243 I Imperial Chemical Industries (ICI), Granovetter, Mark, 136-38, 226 Grant, Adam, 182-84 Intel, 342-43, 352 Grifone (New York restaurant), 348, 349 GVAC (generosity, vulnerability, 272, 280-81, 282, 284, 293 InterActive Corp., 131 Internet, 80, 87, 360 Intimidation, 185 accountability, and candor), 239, Introverts, 123-25 290 Ito, Joichi, 262 Gyms, networking at, 107-8 iVillage, 330 Index 374 Life: J Jimmy’s Downtown (New York City), compartmentalizing, 108-9, 139 356-57 Johari Window, 163-64 Johnson, Michael, 97-98 Johnson, Steven Berlin, 228 Jordan, Vernon, 192-94 Journalists: building relationships with, 307-11 determining your legacy, 366-67 Lifelines, 226 Lincoln, Abraham, 103-4 Lincoln Award for Business Excel lence (ABE), 331 Linkedln: inviting to dinner, 208 making them happy, 312 aggregating contacts on, 79 connection requests on, 81 public relations strategy for, 302 developing network with, 87-88, reaching out to, 143-44, 277-78, 113,199 302 finding tomorrow’s celebrities on, 232 launching a group on, 330 Junto, 333, 334, 335 K mapping networks on, 80-81 Keeping score, 14-23 mastering introductions on, 233-34 Kennametal, 49 Kickstarter, 107, 243 personal contacts on, 244 Kirk, Bob, 349 profile photos on, 246 Kiski School, 20-21, 350 researching people on, 70 Kissinger, Henry, 65, 132 Listening skills, 165-66, 168 Klout scores, 144 Knight, Phil, 51, 56, 57 Lobbyists, 141-42 Knowledge, as currency, 190-91 Loconto, Pat, 92-95, 346, 347-51 Love, George, 9, 344 Knowledge Universe, 11, 77 Loyalty: Kolbert, Kitty, 231 brand, 269 Kotick, Bobby, 277-78 earning, 175-77,179, 181 KPE agency, 277, 305-6 meaning of, 175 Kushner, Harold, 363 personal vs corporate, 17, 22 rewards gained from, 21 Lussow, Paul, 352 L Lancaster, Hal, 308-10 Latrobe Hospital, 178 M Leadership, 59-60, 260, 340 Learning Network, 222 Market niches, 284-85 Le Cordon Bleu Culinary School Maslow, Abraham, 177 (London), 162 Lewinsky, Monica, 194 Marketing, conventional, 269-70 McClelland, David, 345 McCormack, Mark, 274 Index McKenna, Alex, 14, 49-50 375 Networking See Connecting McKinsey and Company, 200, 347, “Networking events,” 105,106 348, 349 Mead, Margaret, 367 Networking jerk, 58-63 New Haven City Council, 15, 25, Media, 307-8 See also Journalists; specific publications Media, social See Social media Mentors/mentees: 271-72, 336-40 Newsweek magazine, 95-96 New York Times, 271, 306, 337 Nike, 51, 56, 291 finding, 342-54 Nonprofit boards, 323 importance of, 9-10, 343-50 and keeping score, 15-16 O making it successful, 350-52 Olson, Josh, 251 showing appreciation to, 340-41 Optimism, 262-63 Metcalfe, Robert, 102 The Organization Man (Whyte), 17 Microcelebrities, 230-31 Ovitz, Michael, 62 Microsoft, 223 Oz, Mehmet, 178 Milgram, Stanley, 138-39 Milken Family Foundation, 176 P Page, Scott E., 228 Milken Institute Global Conference, 71-72,126 Palmer, Arnold, Pan, Wei, 259 Miller, Will, 358 Pariser, Eli, 300 Milken, Michael, 77, 175-77, 179 Mission: Partilla, John, 84-85 discovering peoples’ motivations, Partnerships, for networking, 148-51 173 establishing goals, 24-38 Passions, personal: Molina Nino, Nathalie, 230-31 Moore, Jim, 20-21 Moz.com, 301 energy generated by, 261-62 finding, 26-30, 365 during hard times, 284 talking about, 105-10, 162, 176, 323 Pepper, John, 73-74 MP3.com, 178 MP3 music files, 304 Persistence, 100-104, 113 myGreenlight, 248 Personal Branding Message (PBM), N Peters, Tom, 291-92, 293, 294 Names: dropping, 314 Photographs, 245-46 Pidgeon, Jack, 20-21, 23 294-95 giving access to contacts, 151 Pinging, 195-204 remembering, 166 Pink, Dan, 242 taking, 76-82 Plaxo, 200 Napster, 304 Pohland, Brett, Index 376 Pohland, Caryl, 6-7 “Refrigerator rights relationships,” 358 Politics and politicians: “host com mittees” of, 149-50 Rejection, 51-52, 53, 55, 284 hosting fundraisers for, 322-23 Relationship Action Plan: categories and priority ratings, 227 creating, 30-34, 37, 77-78 insights about people, 60 lobbyists’ influence on, 141-42 reaching out to, 143 Power: social media strategies in, 227, 231 from being indispensable, 188, 192-94 o f the Fringe, 222-23 three parts to, 30 Relationship Masters Academy, 248 getting close to, 316-26 Renaissance Weekend, 41,126, 320, 328 o f nonverbal clues, 160-61 from sharing information, 155 social arbitrage as, 186, 188 Power! How to Get It, How to Use It (Korda), 185 The Power o f Pull (Hagel, Seely, and Davison), 257 PriceWaterhouseCoopers, 292 Proctor & Gamble, 73 Repasky, Toad and Julie, 344 Reputation, 313-14, 340-41 Respect, 155 Restaurateurs, 139-40 Revere, Paul, 145-47 Richards, Robin, 178-79 Ringel, Matt, 305, 306 Rodriguez, Jimmy, 139 Professional organizations, 322 Roizen, Heidi, 255-57 Psychology o f Persuasion (Cial- Roosevelt, Eleanor, 352-54 dini), 90 Public relations, 70,142-43, 307, 310-11 Rose Group, 143 Rosenberg, De Anne, 55-56 Rudan, Gina, 264-65 Runyon, Damon, 344 Q Questions, 56-57, 281-82 S Quiet (Cain), 124 Saling, Walt, 9, 344 Samsonite, 188 R Rackspace, 223 Sanders, Tim, 60 Save America’s Treasures, 12 Ramsay, Mark, 210-11 Scalin, Noah, 247-48 Ratner, Joel, 271-72 Raz, Tahl, 264 SchifF, Richard, 319 Schlessinger, Len, 10 Recognition, 315 Scoble, Robert, 223-25, 227, Reddy, Paul, 118 229-30 Reebok, 187,188 Seal, Greg, 163,185 References, 86-87 Self-actualization, 177-78 Index 377 Serendipity, engineering, 254-65 Ferrazzi s last day at, 77 Shimkin, Leon, 168-69 marketing goals for, 35-36,273 networking at, 131 Shirky, Clay, 76 Sigma Chi, 25, 111-12 Sincerity: o f Bill Clinton, 42 o f Katharine Graham, 65 lack of, repercussions from, 62 “networking jerks” lack of, 60-61, 182 showing, 161-62,181-82, 321 Skulladay.blogpost.com, 247-48 Stewart, Tom, 307-8 Stringer, Howard, 84 Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive (Mackay), 86-87 T Taylor, William, 228 Technology, innovative, 152-53, 284 Skype, 103,166 TED conferences, 123-24, 328-29 Smith, Tad, 37, 46 TEDxBarnardCollegeWomen, 230 Social arbitrage, 185-94 Social media See also Facebook; Thank-you notes, 114 Therapy, for overcoming fears, 54 Linkedln; Twitter Thomas, Dick, 331 automated pinging with, 200-201 Thornton, Leslie, 194 at conferences, 128 Time magazine, 192 The Tipping Point (Gladwell), 136 finding connections using, 87-88 tapping the Fringe with, 219-35 Tjan, Tony, 263 Sony Electronics, 84-86 Toastmasters, 54,121 The South Beach Diet, 241 Spamming, 201 To Sell Is Human (Pink), 242 Total Quality Management (TQM), Sparks, Glenn, 358 Speaking/speech-making: 274, 280, 284, 330-31 Touching, 161 at the American Management Association, 55-56 Transparency, 62 at conferences, 122-23, 323 Treskovich, Arlene, 178 Travel, benefits of, 259 content o f speeches, 133 Trump, Donald, 298-99 fear of, 52-53, 121 Trunk, Penelope, 245 Trust: gaining experience in, 121-23 learning skills of, 10, 53-54 earning, 21, 46, 62, 319 Spirituality, 283 formula for, 237-38 Spontaneity, 252 losing, by gossiping, 61 Sports, 323-25 online, building, 236-40 The Start-Up o f You (Hoffman), 233 when sharing contacts, 150-51 Starwood Hotels & Resorts: Ferrazzi becomes CMO at, 11, 35 Ferrazzi resigns from, 36 Tull, Thomas, 84 Twitter: following conference tweets, 128 Index 378 Twitter (cont.) showing, effect on others, 108,131, following famous and powerful on, 156-59, 244-47 ways o f showing, 244-47 325-26 following super-connectors on, 144 W making Fringe list on, 229 Wallflowers, 134, 152 researching people on, 70 Wall Street Journal, 194, 271, 277, 306, tweeting useful content on, 242-43 308 Walt Disney International, 97-98 Washington Post, 41, 63-65 Wealth, 179 U Unique selling proposition (USP), 329 Upworthy.com, 300, 301-2 Webber, Alan, 187 WebEx, 103 WebMD, 83-84 Web sites, creating, 296 V Weiss, Elana, 143, 208 Valenti, Jack, 180-81 Welch, Jack, 29-30 Valley School o f Ligonier, 50 What They Dont Teach You at Harvard Business School Value: (McCormack), 274 creating, by sharing information, 231 Whiffenpoofs, 209-10 finding ways to add, 293 White, E.B., 259 in news feeds, 224-25 Wilde, Oscar, 359 stating, in cold calls, 88-89 WineLibrary.TV, 240 Vanity, 336-41 Vanity Fair magazine, 62, 319 Winks, Robin, 73, 74 Wired magazine, 18 Vaynerchuck, Gary, 240-41 Wolfgang Puck (Los Angeles), 139 Ventura, Jesse, 304 World Economic Forum (Davos), 12, Videoconferencing, 252, 253 Vipassana meditation, 37, 51, 224, 225, 328, 363-64 Wurman, Richard, 328-29 363-65 Virtual-chats, 166, 252, 330 Y Virtual meetings, 103 Yale Club (New York City), 325 Yale University: Vivendi Universal, 178 Volunteering, 110 Vulnerability: as business asset, 154-55 myth about, 56 showing, during initial contact, 129 alumni network, 73 Ferrazzi as student at, 15, 20-21, 24-25, 271-72, 337-40 political clubs at, 337-38 Sigma Chi, 25, 111-12 Whiffenpoofs, 209-10 Index YaYa: and advergaming, 77-78, 82, 276-77, 303, 305-6 business goals, 77-78 379 marketing strategies, 273-77, 306-7 public relations strategies, 144 sale of, 82, 277 cost-cutting policies, 117 early days at, 52 Young Presidents’ Organization (YPO), 322 Ferrazzi named CEO of, 38, 77 Young & Rubicam, 84