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Trang 1Language Teaching Publications 35 Church Road Hove East Sussex BN3 2BE In the same series: Poor Albert
Uncle Bill’s Will
Englislh Teaching Plays - Teacher’s Notes Cassetite Tape
ISBN 0 906717 68 X
© Language Teaching Publications 1986
All rights reserved No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored ima retrieval system, or transmitted, in any’ form or by any means, electromic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the priow permission of Language Teaching Publiccations
Performance permission
Permission to perform this play by studemts in school is hereby given Any professional company sshould seek permission from Language Teaching Publlications z oing a play is fun! THES 1011
Iam a teacher of English in Denmark I wrote this play for my students They wanted a play with policemen and burglars where they could be funny and laugh
You can read this play like a story — a story in conversation Your teacher will give you one character to read Don’t just
think about your character Listen to all the characters Then you will be able to say your lines with more meaning Say your own lines again and again until they sound natural Say them until you don’t have to think about them
Perhaps you will decide to learn the play by heart and put on a performance — for the rest of the school or for your — parents This will take a lot of hard work, but it is also good
n
Doing a play is fun - and it-makes you feel good It’s great doing something in front of other people and seeing them
enjoy it
If English is not your first language, there are two extra reasons for doing a play First, it will help you to speak better Secondly, other people will understand you, and this will make you feel better when you speak English
Remember — reading and acting in a play is fun!
Trang 2The Empty Safe
Act 1 In the restaurant of the Richmond Hotel Act 2 In Mr Profit’s Office
Act 3 In the restaurant of the Richmond Hotel
Characters
Mr Bigbélly The manager of the Richmond Hotel Mr Snoop The famous detective
Miss Wiggle A waitress
Sleepy A customer in the bar Baton A police officer
Mrs Broom The cleaning lady Mr Lovebottle =A customer in the bar
Mr Profit Owner of the Coffee Pot Construction Company
Miss Sweetsmile Mr Profit’s secretary Mr Longtalk A businessman Miss Skylark A nightclub singer
Mrs Patricia The jealous wife of Mr Profit Profit
Moonlight A security guard Daydream A security guard
4
Act 1
The Restaurant of the Richmond Hotel
At the back of the stage there is a bar with glasses and bottles Near the front of the stage there are four tables with tablecloths and some chairs The main entrance is to the right To the lefta door leads into the kitchen Next to the door there is a small platform with a curtain through which the singer can enter the
platform ,
Mr Bigbelly is standing behind the bar Sleepy is sitting at a lable, reading a newspaper In front of him there is an empty plate with the salt and pepper Snoop enters through the main
entrance
BIGBELLY Hello, how are you?
SNOOP Very well, thank you And you?
BIGBELLY _ Fine, thanks Aren’t you tired? It’s rather
late
SNOOP No, not at all Do you think I could have a cup of coffee?
BIGBELLY Yes, just amoment Miss Wiggle! Hella! Miss Wiggle!
WIGGLE (enters from kitchen)
Did you call?
BIGBELLY Yes, I did a cup of coffee for Mr Snoop, our great detective
WIGGLE How are you, Mr Snoop Please sit down
Trang 3SNOOP WIGGLE SNOOP SNOOP SLEEPY SNOOP SLEEPY SNOOP SLEEPY SNOOP SNOOP WIGGLE No Would you like a cake or a sandwich with your coffee?
A sandwich, please A ham sandwich Pll bring your tea as fast as I can Coffee! I said coffee! (wakening up) Oh, Oh, Oh, who’s dead? On, Oh, Oh, who's dead ? Dead?
A coffin someone was talking about a coffin, weren't they?
No, no, nobody’s dead No coffins Go back to sleep I'll bring your coffee, sOrry
Ah, coffee!
Yes I’m not dead
(Sleepy hides behind his newspaper Miss Wiggle brings a cup and saucer to Mr Snoop's table She is nervous Her band is shaking ) Just take it easy Slow down I can wait
There’s no rush
Oh no, Mr Snoop It won’t be long (She exits through the kitchen door) BIGBELLY SNOOP BIGBELLY SNOOP BIGBELLY SNOOP BIGBELLY SNOOP BIGBELLY SNOOP BIGBELLY SNOOP BIGBELLY SNOOP BIGBELLY SNOOP SLEEPY SNOOP SLEEPY WIGGLE
So you’re not in a hurry, then? No P'm off duty now
Has it been a hard day? No No attacks? No No robberies? No No bombs? No No murders? No No assassinations? No, no crimes, no criminals Nothing at all yet
In other words, a pleasant day?
No, deadly Crime’s my job and I like to
be busy, not too busy, just busy Crime can happen anywhere — even here — even in the Richmond Hote] - even in this very room! You never know
(Sleepy's newspaper slides on to the table Sleepy bas fallen asleep again ) -
May I borrow your paper? (Sleepy snores.)
May I borrow your paper? (Sleepy wakes up.)
The pepper? Yes, of course (Sleepy passes the pepper to Snoop.) Here you are
Sorry I didn’t askifor the pepper You didn’t? I nought you did -
(Sleepy hides bebifid his newspaper.) (Wiggle enters with a tray.)
Trang 4SNOOP SNOOP WIGGLE SNOOP BIGBELLY BATON WIGGLE BIGBELLY
I don’t take milk | don’t take sugar Oh, sorry, Mr Snoop Here you are, your cheese sandwich
Cheese? I don’t like cheese I hate cheese Cheese makes me sick | asked for ham — not cheese — not tomato — not cucumber — HAM ~ aham sandwich
Bole ⁄Z^
I dont like cheese I nate cheese!
Oh, I'm so sorry I have a terrible memory
Never mind Forget it
Get Mr Snoop a new sandwich Ham And hurry up Don’t just stand there, girl — move I’m sorry Mr Snoop So you’ve had a quiet day?
(Wiggle takes the sugar bowl and goes to the
kitchen door Baton enters through the main
entrance They collide The sugar bowl! falls to : the floor.)
Sorry
Oh, sorry Oh I’m terribly sorry I’m really
very sorry
It doesn’t matter Get out — Shoo!
(Wiggle picks up the sugar bowl and runs out
through the kitchen door.) Come and sit down Baton BATON BIGBELLY BATON BIGBELLY BATON SNOOP BATON BATON BROOM BATON BIGBELLY BROOM BIGBELLY BROOM BIGBELLY BROOM BIGBELLY BROOM BIGBELLY BROOM
No thank you, Sir, I’m on duty
Did you hurt yourself there?
No, I’m all right
Would you like a cup of tea?
No thank you, Sir I’m out on patrol I never drink on patrol
Is everything OK?
Yes, Sir Pil be on my way, then Goodbye
all
(Broom enters with a brush and dustpan She collides with Baton who is on bis way out The dustpan falls to the floor.)
Sorry
Oh, I’m terribly sorry
(Picks up the dustpan and hands it to Broom)
Don’t mention it Goodbye
(Baton goes out through the main entrance.)
What are you doing in the bar?
Miss Wiggle sent me She said you had ajob for me What do you want me to do?
Sweep the floor, please
Sweep the floor? That'll take me ages Look at the time I’ve finished for the day Have you? Yes Then you'll have to work overtime, won’t you! Overtime?
.Look, I'll pay you overtime Now will you get on with it
OK, [hate cleaning, but need the money
(Miss Wiggle enters from the kitchen Arthur
Lovebottle enters through the main entrance
Trang 5WIGGLE LOVEBOTTLE LOVEBOTTLE WIGGLE LOVEBOTTLE WIGGLE LOVEBOTTLE WIGGLE LOVEBOTTLE WIGGLE 10
Good evening Mr Lovebottle
You are so pretty, Miss Wiggle You may call me Arthur
Oh no, Mr Lovebottle That won’t do No,
that won't do at ail
Oh yes, it will Please call me Arthur
(He sits down at a table On the table there is a “Reserved” sign )
I'm afraid you can’t sit at that table, Mr
Lovebottle You'll have to move, I’m afraid Why?
(pointing to the sign)
Can’t you read
Sorry, I didn’t see it I didn’t see anything but you (reads ) Is it reserved?
Yes That’s what the sign says It’s reserved for Mr Profit
And who’s he?
Have you never heard of Mr Profit and the Coffee Pot Construction Company?
No Never
He’s the director The table is reserved for
him, his secretary, and one of his business friends Is he rich? He’s a millionaire He's a millronaive LOVEBOTTLE Really? I would like to be a millionaire too BIGBELLY PROFIT SLEEPY WIGGLE PROFIT BIGBELLY PROFIT LONGTALK BIGBELLY PROFIT SWEETSMILE PROFIT BIGBELLY PROFIT
If I were a millionaire, I would come here every day and ask you to marry me We would fly away to a beautiful island and have lots of beautiful children
You can have a cup of coffee and a beautiful cheese sandwich
(She takes the tray with the coffee pot and the cheese sandwich from Snoop’s table and puts itin front of him Norman Profit enters
through the main entrance, followed by Miss
Sweetsmile and Mr Longtalk.)
Good evening, Sir This table here is
reserved for you It’s our best table
(Profit draws out a chair for Miss Sweetsmile.)
Sit down, honey (Sleepy wakes up.) Money Who said money? Do you want me to pay now?
Honey, —- not money — Oh go back to
sleep!
(Sleepy hides behind his paper.)
May we have the menu, please? Certainly, Sir, here you are What are you going to have?
I think Pll have roast turkey That’s my
favourite “
One roast turkey
And what does my sweet little secretary
want?
Could I have turkey too, please — Turkey for my little honeypot
Two roast turkey
Make it three And a glass of whisky while we're waiting
(Bigbelly goes to the kitchen door.)
Trang 6BIGBELLY (Shouts)
Three roast turkey
(to Wiggle And three glasses of whisky
(Wiggle brings a bottle of whisky and three glasses from the bar She pours.)
Cheers!
(They drink.)
OK, Mr Longtalk, what is this all about?
LONGTALK Why don’t you make coloured ones? Sorry? What did you say?
Everyone likes colour Believe me, you'd sell a lot more coffeepots if they were coloured Look
(He takes out an advertising brochure.) Just have a look at this red blue
brown orange purple pink LONGTALK = Mr Profit, I’m a businessman — as you Hawaii-blue emerald green 7”
know
PROFIT So am I I make coffeepots and J sell SWEETSMILE (whispers) He sells paint
coffeepots (Profit nods ) LONGTALK SWEETSMILE LONGTALK LONGTALK SWEETSMILE LONGTALK LONGTALK
LONGTALK And you sell a lot of coffeepots, don’t you You bet your life I do My whole life is coffeepots What do you sell?
Well, something that could make your coffeepots better
That’s impossible We make the best coffeepots in the whole wide world Our coffeepots are second to none
That’s right, my darling
I know that But to be honest, they are a bit, mm old-fashioned In my opinion, of course Old-fashioned? Why? White! They're white! You don’t make coloured coffeepots Coloured coffeepots? Coloured coffeepots?
Coloured coffeepots That’s a lousy idea Forget it Cheers
(They drink.)
Do you sell a lot of these white coffeepots? I'm not complaining Business is good Good But perhaps it could be better Why don’t you make them in different colours?
LONGTALK
BIGBELLY
He wants you to buy his paint Don’t do it He just wants to make money That’s all he’s after
I can see that, my darling But take it easy I
won't do it
(loudly) You want to do a deal?
That’s the whole idea, Mr Profit
Well, I'm not interested Not interested at
all Cheers, everyone
(They drink Some people enter through the
main entrance They go to the empty chairs or
to the bar They are served by Wiggle During the entertainment they are the audience along with the actors who are already on stage Bigbelly comes on to the platform.)
Ladies and Gentlemen May I have your attention, please Thank you It’s time now
for the Richmond Dinner Cabaret Tonight
we're going to present you with a whole
bunch of big stars First of all, give a warm
welcome to the famous singer, Miss Susan
Skylark
(The audience shout, whistle, and clap.) Am I right when I say we all love her?
Trang 7AUDIENCE BIGBELLY SKYLARK - lá Yes! SKYLARK We do! Certainly! Not halft Super!
Well, here she comes Miss Susan Skylark!
(Skylark enters through the curtain The audience clap.)
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you Welcome to the show Tonight ’m going to sing some of our beautiful old songs Please join in if you'd like
My Bonnie is over the ocean,
My Bonnie is over the sea, PROFIT
My Bonnie is over the ocean, KYLARK
Oh bring back my Bonnie to me we
Chorus: Bring back, bring back SKYLARK
Bring back my Bonnie to me, PROFIT
Bring back, bring back,
Ob bring back my Bonnie to me
SKYLARK Oh, blow ye winds over the ocean,
Oh, blow ye winds over the sea, Oh, blow ye winds over the ocean, And bring back my Bonnie to me Chorus
Last night as I lay on my pillow, Last night as I lay on my bed, Last night as I lay on my pillow, I dreamed that my Bonnie was dead Chorus
The winds have blown over the ocean
The winds have blown over the sea,
The winds have blown over the ocean And brought back my Bonnie to me Chorus: Brought back, brought back
,
,
Thank you, thank you Look at that table Tonight we have a very special guest with us, Mr Norman Profit Mr Profit, ’'ve got a song specially for you and I hope you like it What I want is a proper cup of coffee, Brewed in a proper copper coffee pot I may be off my dot,
but I want a cup of coffee in a proper coffee pot
Tin coffee pots or iron coffee pots are no use to me
When I can’t get a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot,
Pll have a cup of tea
Thank you, Miss Skylark Will you do me a favour please?
I'd be glad to Sing a love song Anything special?
How about the Ballad of the Foggy Foggy
ew
When I was a bachelor, I lived all alone I worked at the weaver’s trade
And the only, only thing that I did that was
wrong
Was to woo a fair young maid
I wooed her in the wintertime, Part of the summer, too
And the only, only thing that I did that was
wrong,
Was to keep her from the foggy, foggy dew
One night she knelt close by my side When [ was fast asleep,
She threw her arms around my neck,
And then began to weep
She wept, she cried, she tore her hair,
Ah, me, what could I do?
So all night long Lheld her in my arms, Just to keep her from the foggy, foggy dew
Trang 8BIGBELLY LONGTALK PROFIT SWEETSMILE ‘PROFIT LONGTALK SWEETSMILE LONGTALK SWEETSMILE PROFIT LONGTALK PROFIT EVERYBODY _ PROFIT 16
Again I’m a bachelor, I live with my son, e work at the weaver’s trade;
And every single time that I look into his eyes, He reminds me of the fair young maid
He reminds me of the wintertime Part of the summer, too,
And the many, many times that I held her in
my arms,
Just to keep her from the foggy, foggy dew That’s the end of the entertainment, Ladies
and Gentlemen The bar is still open So,
have a good time
So you're a rich man, Mr Profit?
Oh yes ’'m making a lot of money with my coffeepots Just ask Miss Sweetsmile here
What do you say, honey? Oh, Norman’s very rich Cheers (They drink By now, they have had too much.) Where does he keep it? Keep what?
All his money
In the safe, of course
My safe is full of money When I need © some, I just open it I don’t believe in banks Do you ever forget the combination number? Oh no It’s very easy to remember 10 9 8 /7 1 2 43 (in a loud whisper) 10 9 8 7 1 2 3
Cheers, Mr Longtalk You're a creat ony but m not going to buy any of your paint |
don’t believe in coloured coffeepots (They drink Patricia Profit enters through the main entrance She sees Profit and Sweetsmile Yhey don't see her.) PROFIT SWEETSMILE PROFIT SWEETSMILE PROFIT SWEETSMILE PROFIT PATRICIA PROFIT SWEETSMILE PATRICIA PROFIT AUDIENCE - PATRICIA PPAR PROETE PATRICEA PROFIT (To Sweetsmile) Bottoms up, honey pot Cheers, my darling Give me a kiss
Oh no, Norman not now When, honey, when?
Later, when we're all alone I can’t wait until later
(standing behind Profit) You'll have to
tàu: [| hove to,
(to Sweetsmile) What did you say?
(discovering Patricia )
Me? I didn’t say anything
Yes you did (fo Profit) ‘And you said “give me a kiss” No I didn’t (in a loud 1 hisper) Oh yes he « «1 Yes, you did And vo: ~didn’t say it‘ ‘ your wife _ It wasn’t mẹ
Oh come on, Norman, ` dit with my
own ears You said, “fuss me.” You said it to
that woman!
No, I just
Trang 9PATRICIA Shut up Youre a married man Never forget that And I'm your wife
PROFIT Are you angry, dear?
Angry? OF course I am
PATRICIA Angry? Of course Iam I won’t have you kissing other women I’m just not standing for it Stand up You’re going home now We're going home now
(She takes him by the collar and drags him out.)
BIGBELLY Mrs Profit, you forgot your bag!
(She doesn't hear him and continues out.) Oh, what a mess! And it was such a nice evening Miss Skylark!
(She enters.) Sing us a song
EVERYBODY Brought back, brought back,
Oh brought back my Bonnie to me, to me Brought back, brought back,
Oh brought back my Bonnie to me
WR TI 8 et at
kh XU NA ON WING
18
Act 2
Profit’s office at the Coffee Pot Construction Company Posters showing various types of coffee pot are hanging on the wall
There are two doors, one to the right, one to the left To the left a- large safe At the back of the stage there isa big desk with a telephone Behind the desk there ts a chair It is night The stage should be dark Lovebottle enters from the right with a torch He points it slowly first at the posters on the wall, then at the desk,
the chair, the telephone At last be finds the safe He tiptoes tothe safe and kneels i in front of it
LOVEBOTTLE 10 9 8 1 2 3 turn ( He tries to turn the lock, but can’t)
Damn it’s not working Pll try again 10 9 8 3 2 1
(He tries to turn the lock.)
- It’s still not working Oh, it’s warm in here [’ll take off my scarf
(He takes it offand puts it on the floor beside the safe.)
Now 10 9 (He stops and listerts )
What's that? Sounds like footsteps I think someone’s coming
(He hides behind the desk Longtalk enters from the right with a torch and goes to the safe
in the same way as Lovebottle ) LONGTALK 10 9 8 1 2 3 turn
(He tries to turn the lock but can’t) Damn It won’t open Pil try again 10 9 8 7 3 2 1
(He tries to turn it again.)
It’s still not working Oh, it’s warm in here PH take my scarf off (He takes it off aiid puts it on the floor He discovers
Lovebottle’s scarf He takes his torch and searches the room with the light Lovebottle comes out from behind the desk.)
Trang 10pire
LONIGTALK 0 s „th co you think you’re doing?
LOVEBOTTIE Yes LON GTALK rou Who else? « |
10 VEBOTTT _ «hu looking for Mr Profit
LONGT ~£' Under his deskl In the middle of the night? z That's yuite normal I want to sell my idea to him “WEBO? TLE Ane that’s why you're looking for him in the safe? ~“GTALK — I’m not looking for him in the safe Look L VYEBCTTT F LƠNGTALR LOVEBOTTLE LONGTALK LOVEBOTTLE LONGTALK LOVEBOTTLE LONGTALK MOONLIGHT 20
The safe is closed
And von know why it’s closed, don’t you
Vt open it ING couid you
(He picks up Lovebottle’s scarf ) This is yours, isn’t it
(The phone rings.) I'm not answering it
Neither am I _
You'll have to } +: were here first And I’m going t: be the first to leave
(He tiptoes towards the door.)
Wait for me
(He drops the scarf and follows Lovebottle Suddenly they stop and listen.)
Somebody’s coming Let’s hide
(They hide behind the desk The phone goes on ringing Moonlight rushes in from the right, out of breath He turns on the light and grabs the receiver.)
(without listening) Wrong number (He puts the phone down and relaxes ) Oh, what a fool Lam Why did [rush all the
way up from the first floor, just to say “Wrong number”? It’s none of my
business to answer the telephone ’'m only
DAYDREAM
MOONLIGHT
DAYDREAM
a security guard, remember that! ' (The phone rings)
Stop that!
(He grabs the receiver)
WRONG NUMBER!!
(He puts itdown)
If were you I wouldn't ring again that’s it, there’s a good boy
(The phone rings)
WRONG NUMBER!! Don’t you
understand? I said wrong number (He puts the receiver down and takes outa
revolver.) - ;
Now if you ring one more ume
(Daydream enters from the left.)
PH kil you
(Screams JAH!
(This scream terrifies Moonlight, who turns round and screams at the same time )
Ah Handsup! -
(Daydream puts up his hands So do Longtalk and Lovebottle who are still hiding bebind the
Trang 11-`' “ĐREAa: -*NLIGH+ ÌÙL ::JR¿ MOONL: ‘DAY YREAM MC — (GHT DAY DREAM MOONLIGHT DAYDREAM MOONLIGHT DAYDREAM MOONLIGHT 22 sorry, old ©
dark send, It’s my nerves { hate the _you think you could put that gun down,
_flease
Oh, yes, of course
(He puts the revolver in bis pocket All arms go town.)
je matter?
It’s that telephone It’s driving me mad It rings and rings and rings and rings
“at’s wrong with that
mber It’s always the wrong
number!
(The telephone rings ) Why don’t you answer it? It'll be some madman
It might be important Maybe it’s somebody calling Mr Profit
In the middle of the night! You're crazy
(Daydream picks up the receiver.) Hello? (He listens, then turns to Moonlight)
Its a lady She wants to know why the lights are on
Does she? (in a loud voice) Well, I turned
them on
(still on the telephone)
Why? He’s a security guard, madman, sorry, Madam (to Moonlight)
She wants to know when you're going to switch them off
Now We're leaving straightaway And we're
not going to answer the telephone any more tonight Tell her she should be asleep at this time of night! DAYDREAM LOVEBOTTLE PROFIT SWEETSMILE PROFIT SWEETSMILE PROFIT
No, Madam We’re not coming back We’re going home now Goodbye yes we are switching them off now
(He puts the receiver down.) Well, we'd better go
(They switch off the lights and leave the stage
to the left Very slowly Lovebottle and Longtalk
get up from behind the desk
Let’s get out of here It’s a madhouse!
(They tiptoe out to the right Fora moment the stage is dark and empty Suddenly there is the sound of footsteps and a person appears from
the left in a large coat and with a scarf round their head The person goes to the safe,
whispers the right code number and opens the
safe After a while the person tiptoes oul again
to the left After a few seconds Profit and
Sweetsmile enter from the right He switches
on the light.)
Oh sweetheart At last we are alone Kiss
me, little honeypot Look! The safe is open
Trang 12SWEETSMILE ˆ PROFIT SWEETSMILE PROFIT ' SWEETSMILE PROFIT SWEETSMILE PROFIT SWEETSMILE PROFIT SNOOP PROFIT SNOOP SWEETSMILE PROFIT BATON SNOOP SWEETSMILE 24
It’s all gone
No, it’s not true! Good Lord! I’m ruined! What are we going to do?
Call the police
You're right Good thinking Pll call the police
(He dials)
Nine, nine, nine Hello, my name’s Norman Profit I’m the manager of the Coffee Pot Construction Company ve been robbed Someone has broken into my office and emptied my safe I’m ruined You'd better come at once Thank you, thank you (He puts down the receiver.) He’s coming Who's coming? Detective Snoop The famous detective Snoop? Yes
You may kiss me now, Norman
Kiss you? No No Not now Oh my money, honey! My money, honey!
(Snoop enters with Baton from the right ) Good morning, Sir
Good morning This lady is my secretary Now what has happened?
Look When we came in, the safe was open And all my money was gone
Don’t worry Snoop will catch them He'll get them (Snoop walks around He finds one of the scarves ) (to Sweetsmile ) Is this scarf yours? No
SNOOP Are you sure? SWEETSMILE Quite sure
SNOOP (to Profit) Is it yours?
PROFIT No Do you think you'll get my money back? BATON Don’t worry Snoop will catch them He’ll
get them
(finding the other scarf) SNOOP Is this scarf yours? SWEETSMILE No I’m quite sure SNOOP (1o Profit) Is it yours?
PROFIT No When will you find my money? How long will it take you?
BATON Don’t worry Snoop will catch them He'll get them
(Snoop takes out a magnifying-glass and examines the safe.)
PROFIT It’s empty
SNOOP No, it isn’t Look Here’s a hair
(He looks at it with the magnifying-glass Then he looks at Sweetsmile’s hair and Profit’s.) It’s not yours ,andit’snot yours - PROFIT Whose is it?
BATON Don’t worry Snoop will catch them He'll get them
SNOOP Let’s go to the Richmond Hotel (He gives the hair to Baton.) Look after this hair
(Baton takes the hair and holds it very carefully )
BATON We'll catch them We'll get them
END OF ACT TWO
Trang 13Act 3
The Richmond Hotel The same set as in the first act Bigbelly and Miss Wiggle are at the bar Lovebottle is sitting at one table Longtalk and Sleepy at another Broom enters She is very excited
BROOM Have you heard the news?
WIGGLE No
BROOM So you haven't heard about the burglary? WIGGLE What has happened?
BROOM Somebody has robbed Mr Profit
WIGGLE Oh no, that’s terrible Who would do a
thing like that? LOVEBOTTLE Is it true?
BROOM Yes, itis it’s in the paper
LONGTALK = What happened to all his money?
BROOM The money was stolen every last penny has gone
LOVEBOTTLE All of it?
BROOM Yes
BIGBELLY That’s terrible Get Miss Skylark She must sing a song to cheer us up Miss Skylark!
SKYLARK What’s the matter?
WIGGLE Something terrible has happened
Somebody has taken all Mr Profit’s money
SKYLARK Oh, yes, it’s a disaster I heard it on the
radio All his money’s been stolen BIGBELLY Sing us a song and make us happy again SKYLARK I can’t I can’t sing I’m too upset Poor Mr
Profit Look My hands are shaking Pm trembling at the thought
‘LONGTALK ~—s (Jo Lovebottle) 1 think she’s the u ‘cf
‘LOVEBOTTLE Ohyes the lady on the relephc © BROOM Sing a song, Miss Slo cark
26
SKYLARK I can’t You must understand I’m a sensitive
woman I can’t sing now
(Snoop, Baton, Profit and Sweetsmile enter through the main entrance Baton is carrying the hair.)
BATON In the name of the Law: Stay where you are Nobody leave the room
SLEEPY (wakening up)
Mrs Broom? Who's calling Mrs Broom? There she is at the bar
BIGBELLY Oh, go back to sleep Welcome Mr Snoop We've heard about the burglary Do you think you can find the thief?
BATON Don’t worry Snoop will catch them He’ll get them
LOVEBOTTLE Look at her hands She must be very nervous
LONGTALK —= She must have a bad conscience
SKYLARK I’m not the thief I’ve never seen Mr Profit’s office ’'ve never seen the safe
LOVEBOTTLE Don’t trust her
(Snoop looks at Loveb: ‘tle He takes out bis scarf.) SNOOP (To Louebotle) Is thi- - tr scar” LOVEBOTTLE My scarf? LONGTALK Yes itis LOVEBOTTLE No it isn’t — LONGTALK Yes it is You ph oe cet = _—
snoor ` ol ¢ How did you know? agit) Th ripht.!l 7 ey: dic 2
Trang 14LONGTALK LOVEBOTTLE LONGTALK SNOOP BATON DAYDREAM
But I didn’t steal the money He caught me trying to open the safe
But he couldn’t remember the combination
Neither could he
OK Then it’s obvious You are not the thief and you are not the thief You are both too stupid!
There you are! You can depend on Snoop (Moonlight and Daydream enter through the main entrance ) (to Snoop) Good morning, Sir You sent for us MOONLIGHT Weare the security guards SNOOP DAYDREAM MOONLIGHT DAYDREAM SNOOP LOVEBOTTLE BIGBELLY SNOOP PROFIT BROOM PROFIT BROOM 28
Then you must have been watching I want you to tell me everything you saw You were in the office Was the safe open? No It was closed
But the telephone rang and a lady asked me
when are you leaving? A lady?
(pointing at Skylarkz) What about her? Oh no, she was here all evening singing for the guests
I see (to Skylark)
You are not the thief And for the same reason Mr Bigbelly isn’t the thief either Maybe it’s the clearaing lady
Me? Oh, come on ¥ou had all the money in the safe How mucti?
Two million pounds
Now listen If [hac ve million por7 wouldn’t be standing here a wo ‹ bẻ on my way to Sout) Anger ¿- _ di’t you? SNOOP BROOM PROFIT WIGGLE PROFIT SNOOP PROFIT BATON LONGTALK SNOOP PROFIT BIGBELLY PATRICIA B: BEL sNCOP Yes, of course You are not the thief Don’t worry Mrs Broom (points at Sweetsmile)
What about her? Maybe she was the lady on the phone Maybe she crept in and stole the money
No that’s impossible She has been with me all the time Besides, she is in love with me
I’m going to marry her
But you're already married You can 't have
two wives
I'm going to get divorced So you're not the thief
My money, my money, my money Where is it?
Don’t worry Snoop will catch them He'll get them!
(pointing to Miss Wiggle °
It must be her then Sh: theo: one tit No It can t be her She has a ve
memor: She couldn’t even ¡€i - ham sa: (lwich — nevernp :¡d t combi .!ion for the safe!
Youw tgiveup,Mr.Snoc: - you? (Pe Profitenters with:: —:«se.)
Ce -Ornibx++a7— 7 —~ vd morning | forgot n., bag
vos We found it Here vou are
MTR,
just ter
(He takes out the ma, -,
examines ber hair.) dc
Well, well, well Baton
Trang 15SNOOP EVERYBODY PATRICIA SNOO= BATON PROFIT BIGBELLY WIGGLE SKYLARK
(Baton puts the case on a table and opens it Snoop takes out a ticket.)
What’s this? British Airways A one-way ticket to South America? And what’s this? (He holds up the case so that everybody on stage can see what's in it.)
Oh no, it’s not fair I deserve the money It’s mine I took it because he doesn’t love me
any more He wants a divorce He wants to
marry that woman just because she is young and beautiful And what about me?
What am I going to do? Who wants to
marry me? Nobody wants to marry an old woman with no money
Come on, Mrs Profit You can tell us all
about it down at the Police Station You see Snoop caught her He got her
“Raton, Snoop and Mrs Profit leave.) ( “ing the money) Oh my money, my mo = ‘Thank you Mi Snoop
Drink the house
Sonowy = see that crime will never pay
Right will +s have its way PROFIT SKYLARK THE END If you have a problem, just call on Snoop (with everyone)
For he’s a jolly good fellow For he’s a jolly good fellow For he’s a jolly good fellow And so say all of us
Trang 16Before you read the play
1 Do you belong to any special group — a sports club? The Scouts? Why did you join?
2 Is there a group you would like to join, but cannot? 3 Have you ever been a member ofa ‘gang’? Why did you
join? Did you have to do anything special in order to become a member?
Trang 17Poor Albert
This is a play about group pressure and self-confidence The central character is Albert He starts with very little self- confidence There are two main groups — the greens and the yellows — each with a leader There is a third group — the spectators When the play is performed with an audience, the spectators can sit among the audience Scene 1 YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER
The stage is empty Yellow Leader enters from the left with a yellow scarf in his
hand
Ah, good old yellow I love yellow (Green Leader enters from the right with a green scarf.)
What did you say? I love yellow
Green is better much better No You're wrong there I prefer yellow
You do? You're crazy Green’s my colour, and I’m going to stay green
Trang 18YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER Albert? Come on Look See what I’ve ot
albert goes up to Yellow Leader and
feels the scarf.) It’s very nice, isn’t it
(Green Leader holds out his hand with
the scarfand smiles )
Albert? Come on Go on Have a look at mine
(Albert becomes doubtful He goes up to
Green Leader and feels bis scarf.)
Oh, Albert, don’t you think that yellow is beautiful?
(Albert looks doubtful.)
Yellow is a very nice colour, really
very nice
(Albert lets go of the green scarfand
goes back towards Yellow Leader.)
That’s right That’s better
But there’s something special about
green, isn’t there
(Albert turns round and goes back
towards Green Leader )
But you can’t do that You can’t go
back
(Albert stops between Yellow Leader and Green Leader: )
(tempting) Come on Albert
(tempting )Come on Albert my friend
(tempting ) Look, green’s lovely, isn’t it (tempting ) But yellow is much better, ist it
(Albert looks from side to side Yellow Leader and Green Leader approach Albert starts to get nervous He chooses
the green scarf, and puts it on.) GREEN LEADER ALBERT GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER ALBERT YELLOW LEADER ALBERT YELLOW LEADER ALBERT YELLOW LEADER ALBERT YELLOW LEADER
That’s right That’s the colour for you
It’s nice and warm Oh, yes, and it suits you
Well, in my opinion, yellow would
suit you much better Oh, come on
Do you think so? I’m quite sure
Well er as you can see I’ve
chosen I’ve made up my mind Yes, it looks like it I can’t believe it In fact, ’'m astonished I always thought
you had good taste Did you?
Oh yes You had a sense of beauty and quality You were always able to make the right decision You were confident
Well, I still am
(He takes off the scarf and gives it to
Green Leader without looking at him.)
(To Yellow Leader )\ just wanted to try it on
Of course Why not! Very sensible I
would have done the same myself
You've made the right choice Here you are
(Yellow Leader gives the yellow scarf to Albert He puts it on.)
That’s it J must say it suits you
Congratulations You'll never regret it
Goodbye
(Yellow Leader shakes hands with
Trang 19Scene 2 GREEN 1 ALBERT GREEN 1 ALBERT GREEN 1 GREEN 2 ALBERT GREEN 2 ALBERT GREEN 2 GRIN 3 SN: GREE.» + GREEN 2 GREEN 2 GREEN 3 GREEN 4 LO Green 1 enters from the right, wearing a green scarf
What's that? A yellow.scarf?
Yes, it’s nice, isn’t it
Well, to be honest, J think it’s a very peculiar idea
Do you?
(Green 2 enters from the right, also wearing a green scarf )
(To Green 2) Hello, look at him
What’s that? (to Albert) Do you prefer
yellow?
Yes, I do
I see (to Green 1) Funny idea, isn’t it
Is there anything wrong with yellow?
Oh no It’s a free country you can
do what you want even if it is
rather unusual
(Green 3 enters from the right, wearing a green scarf.)
Have you seen that awful sight? Oh no! What’s that he’s got on?
Well, I think it’s a scarf
So he prefers yellow, does he? Tt certainly looks like it
‘,at a shame Poor guy Ah well, I
“pose everyone can have b "al (Gi “22% fom right, wearing a greens ` ¿2` tsatAlbert.) Goodnes © = = Green 3) Is he ill? GREEN 3 GREEN 2 GREEN 1 GREEN 5 GREEN 6 GREEN 5 GREEN 6 GREEN LEADER GREEN 7 GREEN 8 GREEN 7 GREEN 8 GREEN 7
No I’m afraid he’s in good health You know, some people are always trying to attract attention I suppose that’s his way of doing it
That’s probably all he could think of doing
(Green 5 enters from the right wearing a
green scarf He looks at Albert, puts his
Jirst finger to his forehead and turns it.) Pss pssss ve never seen
anything like that
(Green 6 enters from the right wearing a
green scarf.)
What on earth is that?
It’s unbelievable A yellow scarf He’s
wearing a yellow scarf What can I say? Nothing And I’ve got nothing to say either m astonished
(Albert feels very uncomfortable Green Leader stretches out his hand with a green scarf.)
Would you like to try it on again? I know it isn’t the colour you wanted, but it’s warm and soft
(Albert feels tempted, but hesitates Green 7 and 8 enter from the right wearing green Scarves )
(Shaking hands with the green
Hello 8 group)
(Shaking hands with the green group )
Hello Good grief
You aren't serious, are you?
( to Green 8) I've never seen anything
like that before What do you think?
Trang 20GREEN 8 GREEN LEADER ALBERT GREEN LEADER GREEN 1 GREEN 2 GREEN 3 GREEN 4 GREEN 5 GREEN 6 GREEN 7 GREEN 8 ALL GREENS GREEN 8 GREEN LEADER ALBERT GREEN LEADER | 12
I don’t know I suppose the world is full of people like that
(Green Leader stretches out his hand
with the green scarf.)
There’s still time for you to change your mind, you know
(Albert takes off the yellow scarf and lets it fall to the floor He takes the green scarf from Green Leader and puts it on.) Now that feels better, doesn’t it Oh yes
And it suits you
(The green group change their attitude towards Albert They smile, pat him on the back, shake hands etc.)
Look! What a difference
Sorry about what I said I was wrong So was I You really are all right after all
['m very happy we’ve met
So am I J apologize I thought you were nothing but a crackpot
Just forget all about it Now yourre just like one of us
Our friend forever A member of the group The green gang
See you later
(The green group go out to the right, whistling together a cheerful tune.)
Well, after all, green IS the best, isn’t it, Yes, you're right Goodbye (Green Leader goes out to the right ) Scene 3 YELLOW 1 ALBERT YELLOW 1 YELLOW 2 YELLOW 3 YELLOW 4 YELLOW 3 YELLOW 4 YELLOW 3 YELLOW 5 YELLOW 2 YELLOW 6 ALL YELLOWS Yellow 1 enters from the left, wearing a yellow scarf Do you vote for green? Yes I see (Yellow 2 enters from the left wearing a yellow scarf.)
Look He votes for green
Is that true? (to Albert) Youre not serious, are you
( Yellow 3 enters from the left wearing a yellow scarf.)
Look at him He votes for green Good grief Isn’t yellow good enough for you?
(Yellow 4 enters from the left wearing a yellow scarf )
Have you heard? Yellow isn’t good enough for him He votes for green Green! You must be joking
Pm not! Look You're right Why?
I don’t know I don’t suppose he has ever thought about it
(Yellow 5 enters from the left wearing a yellow scarf.)
What’s that? A green scarf? Are you ill? No, he’s not ill, just crazy
(Yellow 6 enters from the left wearing a
yellow scarf ) Who's crazy? He is
Trang 21YELLOW 5 YELLOW 6 YELLOW 7 YELLOW 6 YELLOW 8 YELLOW 7 YELLOW 8 YELLOW 7 YELLOW 8 ALBERT YELLOW 1 YELLOW 2 YELLOW 3 YELLOW 4 YELLOW 5 YELLOW 6 YELLOW 7 ALL YELLOWS YELLOW 8 14 He’s only trying to be different He IS different
(Yellow 7 and 8 enter from the left wearing yellow scarves.)
What’s the matter?
Look at him A poor guy hooked on green
Are you sure?
Look at his scarf Have you ever seen anything like that before?
No
Decent people wear yellow scarves He has a yellow scarf Look He’s just dropped it on the floor You've just dropped it, haven’t you
Oh yes so [have
(Albert picks up the yellow scarf He takes off the green scarf and puts on the
yellow.)
Fine That makes all the difference
Oh, I understand now
So do I [suppose these things happen
Of course they do But he’s all right now, isn’t he?
Pm glad we've had the chance to meet you
Now you're just like one of us A member of the group The yellow gang
See you later
(The yellow group go out to the left ) Scene 4 YELLOW 1 YELLOW 2 GREEN 1 GREEN 2 YELLOW 3 YELLOW 4
The green group enter from the right, whistling the same tune which they were whistling when they left earlier Albert panics He takes off the yellow scarf and puts on the green one The green group
smile and nod and walk out again still whistling The yellow group return, whistling the same tune Albert changes his scarf The yellows smile and nod and go out again, still whistling The greens
return, whistling Albert changes bis scarf again His hands are shaking The greens smile and nod and leave The yellows return Albert takes off the green
scarf, but at the same time, the greens return Both groups stop whistling Albert is standing with a yellow scarfin
one hand and a green one in the other There is a group on each side of him The groups look at him, as if they do not
believe what they see Albert is nervous The groups clear their throats Suddenly Albert puts on both scarves
He can’t do that, can he?
No I’ve never seen anything like this It’s disgusting I feel sick
Just look at him Both green and yellow Is that allowed?
No He’s mixed up the colours It must be against the law It must be What do you think?
Of course it is I think we'd better call
the police
Trang 22GREEN 3 GREEN á GREEN 5 YELLOW 5 YELLOW 6 GREEN 5 YELLOW 5 GREEN 4 GREEN 5 YELLOW 4 YELLOW 5 YELLOW 6 GREEN 6 YELLOW 7 GREY 7 YELLOW | ALBERT YELLOW 7 GREEN 8 ALBERT YELLOW 8
I think he must be a criminal He’s probably got some secret plan No, I don’t think so Take a good look at him He looks so peaceful
You're right He’s no criminal Look at him
Two scarves? Two colours? I wonder this is just what we need, isn’t it
Wait a minute two colours instead of one?
And two scarves? ~
Think about it It’s not that bad an idea
Why haven’t we thought of this before?
I think it’s an ideal solution Why don’t we all do the same? Yes, why not?
Yes, you're right This is amazing It could save the world
Oh come on Isn’t that going a bit too far?
Not at all I think J agree This is exactly what we need
You're right It’s a very good idea May we ask you a question? Certainly Go ahead _ i we do what you’ve done? i DUS Ga ' > re’s nothing stopping you
Just a mn ~vell for you to say that, L- z to do? I’ve only got on GREEN 1 YELLOW 1 GREEN 2 YELLOW 2 GREEN 3 YELLOW 3 GREEN 4 YELLOW 4 GREEN 5 YELLOW 5 GREEN 6 YELLOW 6 GREEN 7 YELLOW 7 GREEN 8 YELLOW 8
(During the last few lines, everyone has moved so that they are no longer standing in two groups but are all mixed up A green is standing beside a yellow Albert goes up to Yellow 1 and
Green I and puts their yellow and green scarves round both their necks He then
does the same to the 2's, 3, 4’s etc
until everyone is sharing two scarves.) What a surprise I never dreamed this could happen It feels good It’s wonderful He’s a genius
Trang 23Scene 5 YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER BOTH LEADERS ALBERT BOTH LEADERS ALBERT GREEN LEADER ALBERT GREEN LEADER 18
Yellow Leader enters from the left, wearing a yellow scarf
What’s going on here? Are you crazy? Have you gone mad? You're getting mixed up with that crowd
(Green Leader enters from the right wearing a green scarf )
What’s going on here? Are you crazy? Have you gone mad? Youre getting mixed up with that lot
You’ve got nothing in common with those idiots
Nothing at all
You ca’t wear two scarves at the
same time
You'll have to get rid of one of them There are two possibilities
(together) And when you have two possibilities, you have to choose either one or the other That’s logical Well, we want to have both
(together ) No, you don't Yes Look Look at them
(The mixed group smile They start to
hum together and sway from side to
side )
(To Albert) Do you have any idea what you're doing? You're bringing the world to the edge of total disaster No, ?m mot Not my world Take off that yellow scarf Now At once, YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER YELLOW LEADER SPECTATOR 1 GREEN LEADER SPECTATOR 2 SPECTATOR 3 ‘ SPECTATOR 4 YELLOW LEADER SPECTATOR 5 SPECTATOR 1 GREEN LEADER SPECTATOR 6 YELLOW LEADER SPECTATOR 7
Why not the green one?
All right Either the yellow or the green Make up your mind before it’s too late one way or the other Choose!
(Albert takes a scarf in each hand He closes his eyes.)
Say something
He can’t see any difference Can’t you see that?
Will you be quiet, please
No, we won't The green one is just as soft as the yellow one
(Albert smells the scarves — his eyes are still closed.)
They smell the same There’s no difference Shut up
(Albert holds the scarves to his face and rubs them against it.)
He can’t tell them apart
(Albert stretches out the scarves, his eyes still closed )
They are identical
No, they’re not They’re different colours
But that doesn’t matter
Mind your own business You just don’t know what you're talking about Yes we do Look at them
(The group of mixed greens and yellows are still humming together They haven't noticed what has been going on
between Albert and the leaders They
still look very happy.)
Trang 24ALBERT SPECTATOR 1 SPECTATOR 2 SPECTATOR 3 SPECTATOR 4 SPECTATOR 5 GREEN LEADER ALBERT GREEN LEADER SPECTATOR 8 SPECTATOR 6 SPECTATOR 7 GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER „ 7
m beginning to see that I’ve made an important discovery Happiness
means mixing the colours When the world realises what I’ve done just think terrific!
That's right
Mix up the colours
Come on, Albert We're waiting for you The world is waiting Stop this nonsense
(To Albert)1 thought you were a harmless joke who couldn’t tell green from yellow .a fool who couldn’t even make up his mind
But you were wrong? Don’t be cheeky!
(To Green Leader ) It’s you that’s wrong
Albert’s good And you're not
Just wait and see This game isn’t finished yet, you know
(to the group ) Friends! Where are your manners? You’re not behaving very well not well at all But ’m not angry You didn’t make up that story yourselves He did He’s the guilty one Come on Come back and Ill forgive you Come on That’s right Pm disappointed too You've failed to keep up our high standards You really ought to be ashamed of yourselves, letting me
down like that But Pm not angry If you come back, Pil forgive you YELLOW LEADER SPECTATOR 1 GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER SPECTATOR 2 YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER BOTH LEADERS YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW GROUP GREEN GROUP YELLOW GROUP GREEN GROUP YELLOW GROUP GREEN GROUP YELLOW GROUP GREEN GROUP YELLOW GROUP GREEN GROUP
Come on You haven't got time to think about it Come on Close ranks Stay together
Don’t! Don’t do it
You know where you belong Hurry up
That’s the spirit That’s the idea No, it’s not
(The group divide in two under the command of Yellow Leader and Green Leader who shout The yellow group fall into line behind Yellow Leader, the green group behind Green Leader.)
Quick, hurry up Hurry up, quick
Come on, quick, into line, hurry up
I’m glad you've come to your senses
Never do that again, never
(Yellow Leader and Green Leader stand in front of their groups and conduct them as if they were two choirs The groups speak rhythmically and with their voices getting louder and louder ) Let us keep together Unity makes strong
The enemy is watching Soon he'll come along
The enemy resorts to force Stay firm and fight the course We have to fight
Trang 25YELLOW GROUP GREEN GROUP Scene 6 ALBERT GREEN 1 SPECTATOR 2 ALBERT YELLOW 1 SPECTATOR 3 SPECTATOR 4 (The two groups start marking time on the spot.)
Fight for yellow Fight for green
(They start to march out shouting their slogan leaving Albert alone on stage
The groups continue shouting off-stage Albert starts to get worrted.)
The green group march in, now wearing green caps
Oh .so you've got caps now
(No one answers They look straight ahead )
Do you like them? Why don’t you answer?
We are not allowed to talk to you He says that'you are dangerous That’s nonsense (The yellow group march in, wearing yellow caps.) SO you've got caps too Why, may I ask? (They look straight ahead No one answers )
Was it your own decision? Well, was it? Do you like them? Why don’t
(Ge answer me?
i- > -ayYrea threat to our security
Oh Fyote 1%
Then he
(The two wei + ~h has one arm behind hi: - *Ð fO Albert.) a YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER SPECTATOR 5 YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER SPECTATOR 8 YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER ALBERT GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER
I very seldom make a mistake
This time there aren’t going to be any mistakes
Decent people only have one colour Remember that One only one
(Yellow Leader and Green Leader stretch — out their hands to Albert Yellow Leader is holding out a yellow cap; Green Leader is holding out a green cap.) Now, make your choice
Either green or yellow Don’t do it
You can’t avoid taking sides Make up your mind
You don’t need a cap Yes he does
You can’t close your eyes now You'll have to face the facts
(Albert takes both caps.) This won't do
Go on You can’t stop What do you mean?
You'll have to put one of them on Hurry up!
Well so you won't put one on Isee then we'll have to help you, won't we
(Green Leader signals to the green
group They point at Albert as if they had rifles and were going to shoot him )
It's time to come to your senses ONE TWO
(Albert puts on the green cap, letting go of the yellow one.)
Trang 26YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER SPECTATOR 6 GREEN LEADER ALBERT GREEN LEADER GREEN 2 GREEN LEADER GREEN 3 GREEN LEADER SPECTATOR 7 I see So that’s what you’ve chosen, is it
The right choice Now we're ready
and now we'll win
No you won't
Yes we will There are more of us
thanks to Albert (Jo his group) Are you ready?
(The green group put their rifles on their shoulders Albert puts the yellow cap on top of the green cap.)
What do you think you're doing You look ridiculous
That’s OK with me I don’t mind that
We're going to fight Listen, man, you
can’t wear two caps on the battlefield General, the enemy is approaching
The enemy? Yes Look!
(The yellow group have started marking time on the spot Yellow Leader is
marking time in front of them.) Come on Quick march
(The green group start marking time in the same way as the yellows The groups shout “Fight for green” and “Fight for yellow” Each group is facing the
audience The two leaders are marking time in front of them, each with his back
to bis group, so that everyone ts facing
out to the front Albert is shuffling along wong them He doesn’t know what to
fine - > ~mething! For God’s sake,
do : oO
(Alber _ °° “he groups and Starts (XU 66> ‘ps and
scarves He ci, feuerybod in
YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER
the two groups, except the leaders, is
wearing a differently coloured cap and scarf and you can no longer tell which group is which As soon as a person gets anew scarf or cap, be stops shouting Only the leaders go on shouting even when everyone else has stopped )
Fight for yellow
Fight for green
We shall keep together
Unity makes strong
THE MIXED GROUPIf we keep together, we can sing a ALBERT YELLOW LEADER GREEN LEADER ALBERT GREEN LEADER YELLOW LEADER ALBERT SPECTATOR 7 ALBERT GREEN 1 ALBERT song
(Yellow Leader and Green Leader turn and look at the group The two leaders are terrified.)
If we keep together, there will be no
fight Let us work together That idea is bright (to the leaders ) Would you like to join them? _No Never I want to win
What would you like to win? The victory, of course What else? We want two scarves Not one Come here both of you
(They go up to Albert He puts their
‘scarves round each other's neck ) Two people, two colours Now you
are one Tie a knot
Even better!
Make sure it’s a strong knot
Don't worry This knot will not come undone
This will keep them together
Trang 27SPECTATOR 1 Then we'll always know where they are! Questions for discussion
YELLOW 1 Look I think they’re starting to like 1 How does Albert feel atthe beginning of the play?
each other How does he feel in the'middle and at the eng?
ALBERT Yes look they're smiling ,
they're shaking hands You've done it! 2 Is it important that the gfups have leaders? Wi! the play be
Now that’s a rea] knot! different if the groups have no leaders? ,
3 Isit important for each group to have a colour? Why do you think the writer chose green and yellow? Will the play be the
THE END same if the groups wear red and blue? What abayt black and
white?
4 What colours would you choose for the two groups?
Who would you like to be? a) Albert b) One of the leaders c) A Green d) A Yellow e) A Spectator A
6 Why are the spectators important?
7 Does anything change because of Albert’s actions?
8 What do you think this play is really about?
9 Make a list of all the people you would like to invite to see a performance of this play
26
Trang 28Uncle Bill’s Will
Act 1 On board the pirate ship ‘The White Skeleton’
Act 2 On the Golden Island
Characters
Kate Old Bill’s niece
Jack Kate’s brother
Paul Pry A customs officer
The Pirates: The Inbabitants of the Golden Island: Captain Cannonball Pineapple One-Eye Coconut Claw Peach Scull Banana Bigmouth Peanut Crossbone Orange Sailor 1 Lemon Sailor 2 8 inhabitants Sailor 3 Other inhabitants Sailor 4 Other pirates 4 Act 1
The deck of the pirate ship ‘The White Skeleton’ At the back of the stage is the side of the ship — about 70cm high To the left there ts a cabin On the deck a big chest, asail,some - rope Kate’s bead appears above the side of the ship She looks over the rail and runs her eye over the deck KATE JACK KATE JACK KATE JACK JACK There’s nobody on deck (in a whisper)
Are you sure? Yes, Come on
(appearing above the side, still whispering) Is this the right ship?
Of course it is Didn’t you see the name? The White Skeleton
Yes, but where’s the pirates’ flag the skull and crossbones
Don't be silly When they're in harbour, they don’t use the skull and crossbones
The skull and croSsbones Well, what are you going to do now?
Me? We! We are going to get on board The sooner we find the will, the better Come on
Trang 29JACK JACK JACK JACK JACK JACK JACK JACK JACK 6
No Not now
Why not? You’re: not frightened, are you? No I’m not frigfatened
Yes, you are
No, I’m not I’m mot frightened Not at all Why don’t we get on board then? We came here to get hold: of Uncle Bill’s will and now you want te give up
I don’t think there is a will Oh, boys are all the same Well, I never sawv it But Mum told us about it
Well, I don’t thirak it’s true Do you? Do you really think he Eeft all that money to the two of us?
That’s what Murn said, and she knew all about it
But what if Unclle Bill didn’t have any money? What if at was all just a story he invented?
It isn’t ’m sure iit isn’t I know he was poor when he died, but I’m sure the story of hidden treasure is true After all, he spent his whole life sailing the seven seas
So why did he leave it all on a desert island? Don’t ask me I don’t know All we know is
that before he died, he made his will And
the will says where the treasure is hidden Well, I don’t beliieve it He just invented it
all There is no treasure
Then why did the pirates steal the will? Munz1 is sure it was them They want the treasure as much as we do
(The cabin door opens Kate and Jack disappear dowr: behind the side of the ship Crossbone enters through the door with a ONE-EYE CROSSBONE ONE-EYE CROSSBONE ONE-EYE CROSSBONE ONE-EYE CROSSBONE ONE-EYE CROSSBONE ONE-EYE
beaUy bucket full of rubbish He goes to the side of the boat to throw it over the side One- eye enters through the cabin door and is necarly bit when Crossbone swings the bucket Watch out, you fool
Oh, I’m sorry
Whaat’s in the bucket?
Rubbish I’m cleaning the captain’s cabin Didn't you hear what he said this morning We’re leaving today
Yes, I heard He was talking about treasure andi a desert island Maybe we'll make our fortunes
That'll be the day! Anyway, it’s going to be a lomg trip and we haven’t got enough food on board yet P’'m going ashore to do some shopping
You can’t go ashore You'll have to stay here and keep watch
Me? Why?
Because I'm going ashore You're the only person left on board
No, no, no I've got to buy the food You'll have to stay
Listen, friend, Captain Cannonball ordered me to go ashore and buy the booze
Trang 30
CROSSBONE Well, I think food is more important than booze
ONE-EYE Don’t be silly A pirate without rum is like a
fish without water
CROSSBONE OK I know what we'll do We’ll both go Come on
(Crossbone puts the bucket down )
CROSSBONE After you
ONE-EYE No, after you
(They leave the stage to the right Kate and Jack come up again.)
KATE Look, there’s nobody here now Come on
(They climb over the rail.) Well, here we are
JACK Well, what now?
KATE The captain’s cabin We'll start there JACK Kate! Listen! There’s someone coming
Shhhh Oh no, whatre we going to do?
KATE Hurry up You get into the chest, and Pil
hide under here
CVack gets into the chest and Kate pulls the sail over herself Captain Cannonball enters from the right with Scull, Bigmouth, and Claw.)
SCULL Captain, Captain, where are we going?
BIGMOUTH Ifsasccrct, you fooll
SCULL But I’m so excited I can’t wait
CLAW Take it easy Cannonball knows That’s enough for me
SCULL This story about treasure on a desert island,
Captain, is it true? BIGMOUTH It’s a secret, you fool
CANNONBALL Quiet Sit down and Il tell you
(They sit down Cannonball takes out bis pipe.)
Where’s the tobacco we smuggled on board?
SCULL It’s in the chest, Captain Shall I get it?
(He gets up and goes to the chest Just as he is going to open it Bigmouth takes out his tobacco.)
BIGMOUTH Have some of mine, Captain
CANNONBALL It’s all right PU wait
(He puts his pipe back into his pocket and sits down on the chest.)
Now, you all knew Old Bill, didn’t you SCULL Old Bill Ah yes he was the only man
to be saved when the good ship Marigold went down
CANNONBALL That’s right Now, where was the Marigold
going when she was wrecked? She was
on her way home from a far-away island Do you remember that storm?
CLAW What a storm!
SCULL A hurricane!
BIGMOUTH [ll remember it till the day I die!
CANNONBALL Well, the Marigold went down and all the
crew were lost all but one
THE PIRATES Old Bill!
CANNONBALL Right Old Bill! Do you remember how we found him?
SCULL Swimming in the open sea we pulled
him up and brought him home
CANNONBALL And what did he say?
CLAW Thank you
CANNONBALL But he didn’t mention any treasure, did he! THE PIRATES = Treasure?
CANNONBALL Yes treasure the treasure he had hidden on the island
CLAW And he never said anything to us!
CANNONBALL | always thought Old Bill knew something
he didn’t want to tell us
Trang 31CANNONBALL He died a few weeks ago before he could go back to the island But he left a will and last night we managed to steal it
(He takes out an envelope Paul Pry comes in and stands at the back of the stage.)
SCULL Look, Captain Here’s somebody to see you BIGMOUTH (Whispers)
He’s wearing a cap He looks like a policeman
SCULL A policeman! That’s all we need
(Cannonball puts the envelope in bis pocket.)
BIGMOUTH _ He’s going to search the ship
(He throws the rubbish under the sail without
noticing Kate.)
PRY Good afternoon, gentlemen CANNONBALL And who, Sir, are you?
PRY Pry, Sir, Paul Pry, customs officer I’ve come
to have a look around May I come on board? CANNONBALL Ofcourse (Pry climbs over the rail and steps on the sail.) KATE Ouch!
BIGMOUTH What did you say?
PRY I didn’t say anything Maybe it was a rat
(He starts lifting the sail.) CANNONBALL There are no rats on my ship SCULL Only a few mice
CANNONBALL What did you say?
SCULL Me? Oh um newrice we've just got some new rice, Sir
PRY Have you anything to declare?
CANNONBALL No, nothing PRY No tobacco? CANNONBALL No 10 PRY Perfume? CANNONBALL Perfume?
PRY Yes, perfume
(Pry starts sniffing around.)
We NEVER use perfumel
CANNONBALL We never use perfume
(Pry sniffs his way to the chest )
PRY I think I can smell tobacco
(Just at the moment when Pry is going to open the chest, Bigmouth takes out his tin of
tobacco )
BIGMOUTH Look, Sir, this is all the tobacco we have
our own it smells lovely, doesn’t it would you like some?
PRY And have you paid duty on it?
BIGMOUTH Ofcourse we have We bought it at the newsagents
PRY So you're not smugglers then?
BIGMOUTH _— Us? Smugglers? How could you possibly
think that!
PRY What about alcohol? Where are all the bottles?
CLAW Bottles, Sir?
Trang 32SCULL Oh no, Sir On this ship we only drink milk PRY Oh really? I believe you
(One-eye and Crossbone enter from the right
One-eye is carrying a heavy sack; Crossbone has a large bottle Pry goes to the sack without seeing the bottle.)
I’m a Customs Officer What's in that sack? ONE-EYE (opens the sack)
Potatoes, cabbages, lemons, bread, and butter Food for the voyage, Sir
(Meanwhile Crossbone has given Scull the large bottle which he has hidden in the chest without seeing Jack, and unnoticed by Pry.)
PRY (to Crossbone)
And what have you got?
CROSSBONE Nothing, Sir, nothing to declare
PRY Well, goodbye, Captain, and safe voyage CANNONBALL Thank you, Sit Goodbye
(Pry climbs over the rail and disappears The rest of the crew arrive They climb up over the side of the ship.)
SAILOR 1 Are we late, Captain? CANNONBALL No
SAILOR 2 When do we leave, Captain? CANNONBALL Within the hour, men
SAILOR 3 Is it going to be a long voyage, Captain? CANNONBALL A long voyage and a hard one
SAILOR 4 When will we return, Captain
CANNONBALL Not this year, maybe next, but we'll all return rich men
SCULL The will, Captain Read the will to-us
CANNONBALL (Takes out an envelope, opens it, and takes
out a piece of paper.)
Now listen This is the last will and ‘testament of Old Bill
(Starts to read )
“My name is Bill All my life ’ve been a sailor My last voyage was to the Golden Island with my friends of the good ship Marigold We found treasure there, and we buried it We were going to return and bring it back home But there was a
tremendous hurricane Our ship sank and all my friends were drowned I was saved by a pirate ship and brought back home But now I am very ill I will never sail again My sister Mary is looking after me When I die, I leave all the treasure to my sister and her two children, Kate and Jack With this letter, you will find a map of the Golden Island and it tells you exactly where the treasure is.”
(He folds the piece of paper and puts it back in bis pocket.)
SCULL Don’t stop, Captain, Carry on CANNONBALL No The rest is a secret
CLAW Cannonball knows, That’s enough for me CANNONBALL Is everyone on board?
EVERYONE Aye, aye, Sir
CANNONBALL OK Cast off Let go the stern rope Set sail Scull, take the wheel Claw, keep watch We’re off to the Golden Island
(Everyone pulls on ropes in groups ) BIGMOUTH The sails are set, Captain
Trang 331 Sister help to trim the sail Alleluia Sister help to trim the sail Alleluia 2 Jordan’s river is deep and wide Alleluia Meet my mother on the other side Alleluia 3 Jordan’s river is chilly and cold Alleluia Chills the body but not the soul Alleluia 4 Brother lend a helping hand Alleluia Brother lend a helping hand Alleluia
5 Michael, row the boat ashore CANNONBALL Come on, another one
SCULL What'll it be?
CLAW Cannonball knows That’s enough for me CANNONBALL The Drunken Sailor wait a minute
we can’t sing the Drunken Sailor without a drink and it won't be milk!
(To Crossbone)
Did you get the booze?
CROSSBONE _ Yes, Captain It’s in the chest
CANNONBALL Open it up Hurry up CROSSBONE = (opens the chest)
Captain! There’s somebody hiding here! A stowaway! Who on earth are you?
Who-on earth are you?
JACK I’m Jack
(He hands the bottle to Cannonball) Is this your bottle, Sir?
CANNONBALL Thank you How did you get into that chest? And why are you on my ship? JACK Er there was a big dog, Sir It ran after
me I was afraid and hid in the chest CANNONBALL Well, I’ve got some good news for you,
young man You're on your way to the South Sea, and you won't be home for a very long time a very long time, indeed Come on, boys, set more sail
(Crossbone and One-eye remove the sail from the deck They find Kate underneath )
BIGMOUTH Captain, we’ve found another one Oh, she stinks And who are you?
KATE I'm Kate
BIGMOUTH Do you two know each other? KATE He’s my brother
JACK And she’s my sister BIGMOUTH Don’t be cheeky
CROSSBONE Well, Kate and Jack, what’s your uncle called? I bet his name’s Bill Well? Answer
me!
JACK Yes, it is, as a matter of fact
ONE-EYE (picks up two pieces ofrope)
Let’s finish them off, Captain Let’s hang them from the mast
BIGMOUTH = Make them walk the plank! CLAW Feed them to the fish!
CANNONBALL No I’ve got a much better idea (to Kate and Jack )
You wanted to go to the Golden Island and find the treasure, didn’t you?
JACK Yes, we did
Trang 34KATE We still do, Captain
CANNONBALL Then that’s OK with me Come with us to the island and help us find the treasure - CROSSBONE Captain, you can’t be serious
CANNONBALL Well, Iam serious When we’ve found the treasure we'll come back home with it, (to Kate and Jack)
and you two can stay on the island! ONE-EYE The desert island!
CANNONBALL Come on, Boys It’s time for a drink and another song
(Crossbone ties Jack and Kate to the rail.) ALL THE What shall we do with the drunken sailor, PIRATES What shall we do with the drunken sailor, What shall we do with the drunken sailor Early in the morning?
CHORUS: Hooray and up she rises Hooray and up she rises Hooray and up she rises Early in the morning
2 Put him in the longboat till he’s sober 3 Pull out the plug and wet him all over 4 That’s what we do with the drunken
sailor
END OF ACT ONE
16
Act 2
The Golden Island Pineapple and Coconut are sitting on a bench In the background there is jungle PINEAPPLE COCONUT PINEAPPLE COCONUT PINEAPPLE COCONUT PINEAPPLE COCONUT PINEAPPLE COCONUT PINEAPPLE COCONUT PEACH PINEAPPLE I'm tired Tired of what? I’m tired of living on this island So am I
Life is boring here, isn’t it
And there’s nothing we can do about it How can we get away?
We haven’t got a boat
And we can’t build one Nothing but palm trees, orange trees, and monkeys it’s terrible!
Maybe we'll have to stay here for the rest of our life
Oh, don’t say that
Just think stuck here for the rest of your life
Please don’t talk about it You’ll only make me cry
(Peach enters from the right.) What’s the matter with you two? Fed up bored
Trang 35COCONUT PEACH COCONUT PEACH COCONUT PEACH PINEAPPLE COCONUT PINEAPPLE COCONUT BANANA PEACH BANANA PEACH BANANA PEACH BANANA PEACH BANANA ¡8 As usual That’s terrible What can I do to cheer you up? Find a boat any boat as long as it sails
A boat? You know that’s impossible We
haven’t got one and we can’t make one We're stuck here, and we'll just have to make the best of it
Please don’t talk about it You'll only make me Cry
Look on the bright side You don’t have to work There’s plenty of food There are coconuts everywhere and as much fruit as we can eat
I know That’s the problem We eat we sleep we eat we sleep
And when we wake up, we start eating
again Eat and sleep, walk in the jungle and
go to the beach That’s all What a life!
It’s dull, boring, and I'm fed up!
You said it
(Banana enters from right)
Hello
(They don't answer)
Hello? What’s the matter?
They need help badly Why?
They can’t stand this island any longer
Oh, I see Then I know what to do You do?
There’s only onc thing we can đo
What's that
Have a party Let’s have a party with singing, and food and drink That’ll cheer them up PEACH BANANA PEACH 1ST PERSON 2ZND PERSON 3RD PERSON 4TH PERSON 3RD PERSON 5TH PERSON 6TH PERSON 7TH PERSON 8TH PERSON ORANGE LEMON EVERYONE We'll have fresh coconut milk and lots of fruit (shouts )
Hello everyone come on we're
going to have a party Get the coconut milk And the bananas, and the peaches, and the
pineapples
(Peanut, Orange, and Lemon enter along with
some of the other people who live on the
island They are carrying food and drink Everyone starts talking to each other.)
Have a banana Oh, Id love one
Who’s got the peanuts? Here you are
I’m nuts about peanuts
This peach is lovely I'd love a hamburger And I'd love a milk-shake
We've only got coconut flavour, I’m afraid Quiet please It’s time for a song,
Good idea One of the local songs Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya,
Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya,
Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya,
Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Someone’s singing, Lord, Kumbaya Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Someone’s praying, Lord, Kumbaya Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Someone’s sleeping, Lord, Kumbaya
Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Kumbaya, My Lord, Kumbaya
Oh, Lord, Kumbaya
Trang 36PEANUT ORANGE LEMON CLAW BIGMOUTH ONE-EYE BIGMOUTH CLAW ONE-EYE BIGMOUTH ONE-EVE BIGMOUTH ONE-EYE
(Looks to the side and points.)
Look! What’s that? over there behind those trees!
People Are they friends or enemies?
They're coming this way Keep quiet Say
nothing Shsh
(One-ejye, Bigmouth, and Claw enter from the right, scanning the horizon with their bands above their eyes They don't notice the inhabitants until they are standing among them.) (He sees the inhabitants ) Look! Natives! Look ! Natives | But the captain said this was a desert island
I think he was wrong What are we going to do?
Take it easy Cannonball knows That’s enough for me
Shut up
Then say something
No don’t think they understand English Then do something
I'll try shaking hands I hope they’re
friendly [ hope they don’t bite (One-eye shakes bands with Peanut.) PEANUT ONE-EYE PEANUT ONE-EYE PEANUT BIGMOUTH ORANGE BIGMOUTH ONE-EYE ORANGE LEMON ORANGE CLAW ORANGE CLAW ONE-EYE ORANGE BANANA PEANUT BANANA CLAW PINEAPPLE Good afternoon What? Good afternoon Welcome to the Golden Island Thank you
(All the inhabitants get up.)
Please don’t be afraid We’re not going to eat you We're not cannibals We are the peace-loving people of the Golden Island But we thought this was a desert island Why have you come here?
Why we er yes good question er why DID we come?
Well, er we came to get some fresh water and fresh food
You can get water from the river Just follow that path through the jungle
(points to the left)
And we have lots of coconuts on the beach Where are your bottles?
Bottles?
Yes, bottles for the water
Just take it easy Cannonball ! 1ows That’s enough for me
Trang 37CLAW PEACH CLAW COCONUT CLAW PEANUT CLAW BIGMOUTH PEACH CLAW PEACH CLAW PEACH PINEAPPLE PINEAPPLE BIGMOUTH PINEAPPLE ORANGE
Oh yes, we love pineapples
And would you like some sugar cane?
Oh yes, we love sugar cane And coconuts?
Oh yes, we love coconuts Do you like peanuts?
Oh, yes, we love peanuts
Then let’s go and get some
Is your boat on the beach?
Yes it is it’s not very far away
Good And is your ship at anchor off-shore?
Yes, it’s in the next bay
Good Well, we'll bring all the food down to the beach See you later
See you later
(Coconut, Peach, Banana, Peanut, and the
other inhabitants leave to the right.)
You asked for water too, didn’t you Yes, we did, fresh water
Then Ill show you where to find it Come on The river’s this way Follow me
(Pineapple, Bigmouth, Claw and One-eye exit
.£0 the left.)
I didn’t like them
| didnt tke them,
LEMON Neither did 1
“ORANGE Nobody did
LEMON That’s why nobody told them who we
really are
ORANGE I think they're pirates
LEMON So do I
ORANGE And they think that we’re natives LEMON Let’s not tell them the truth
ORANGE I think you're right Let’s go and find the others and warn them
LEMON We'll have to think of a plan, won’t we? ORANGE We'll have to think of SOMETHING
(They exit to the right Bigmouth, Claw, and
One-eye enter from the left.)
ONE-EYE Now we know where to find water BIGMOUTH _ Yes And these natives will bring the food
down to the beach
ONE-EYE That leaves only one more thing to do find the treasure
BIGMOUTH Do you think they are real natives? ONE-EYE Of course they are
BIGMOUTH ~— [’mnotso sure I think Pll ask Cannonball (Cannonball and Crossbone enter from the right Crossbone ts carrying a bottle in one hand and in the other a rope which is round
the neck of Kate and Jack )
ONE-EYE Hello, Captain, have you met the natives? CANNONBALL Yes
BIGMOUTH CanIaskyou a question, Captain? CANNONBALL Go ahead
BIGMOUTH It’s about these natives, Captain They all
speak English Don’t you think that’s
strange?
CANNONBALL No, of course not If they didn’t speak
English, we wouldn't be able to understand them
Trang 38BIGMOUTH But Captain, they shouldn't speak English They’re natives living on a desert island CANNONBALL And so what? What do you want them to
CLAW BIGMOUTH
speak? nativish? Can you speak nativish? Keep your big mouth shut, Bigmouth
Take it easy Cannonball knows That’s enough for me
OK, you're the boss
CANNONBALL Don’t worry Relax We'll be leaving soon CROSSBONE JACK CROSSBONE KATE CROSSBONE JACK CROSSBONE KATE JACK KATE BANANA ORANGE LEMON KATE 24 (to Crossbone )
Keep an eye on our two prisoners m going to have a look at the river Come on
(Cannonball, Bigmouth, One-eye and Claw exit to the left.)
Sit down
(Kate and Jack sit on the bench Crossbone drinks.)
What are you going to do with us? Just wait and see
Are you going td kill us?
No We’ve got a much better idea Will you
Shut up
(fe drinks, yawns, and falls asleep.) He’s asleep
Let’s run away
We can’t It won't take them long to find us (Banana, Orange, and Lemon enter from the
right )
Look at them What’s that round their necks?
I think it’s a rope
Why have you got a rope round your necks? Shshsh — we’re prisoners Stowaways JACK LEMON LEMON JACK BANANA LEMON ORANGE BANANA ORANGE LEMON LEMON LEMON JACK ORANGE Our uncle left a will It was stolen by the pirates A will?
We tried to get it back
And what did your uncle leave in his will? Treasure hidden treasure Who are you anyway? Are you natives?
No, we're not natives We are sailors We were on the good ship Marigold There was a storm
It was the worst weather I’ve ever seen
The waves were like mountains
It was a hurricane The ship sank But we didn’t die We were all washed ashore all ofus except one Poor Bill
Bill? Not Old Bill?
Yes, Old Bill
Bill was saved by the pirates on The White Skeleton Bill was our uncle
Was?
Yes Poor Uncle Bill died a month ago He left all the treasure to us He thought you were all drowned
And now the pirates have the will and it says where the treasure is hidden
What can we do? This is a disaster!
Trang 39ORANGE Well, yes and no It’s not that bad We'll just
have to find a way out of the mess CROSSBONE = (waking up)
What are you talking about?
LEMON Oh, nothing much We're just looking for our friends
CROSSBONE They went down to the boat with the food LEMON Thank you We'll go down to the beach and
give them a hand
(Banana, Lemon, and Orange exit to the
right Cannonball, Bigmouth, One-Eye and Claw enter from the left.)
CANNONBALL (to Jack and Kate)
Don’t try any tricks on me
CROSSBONE Captain, don’t trust these islanders CANNONBALL Why not?
CROSSBONE [msure they’re not natives CANNONBALL Nonsense CROSSBONE _ I’m warning you These people aren't natives CANNONBALL Of course they are Here they are I'll ask them
(All the inhabitants enter from the right ) CANNONBALL (Zo Peanut)
, Are you a native?
PEANUT Of course I am
CANNONBALL (to Banana) Are you a native
BANANA Yes I’ve lived on this island all my life PEACH And so have I And my father was born here
too:
CANNONBALL (to Crossbone)
Well, there you are They ARE natives 26
PEACH (to Crossbone)
You don’t believe us, do you Come on, everyone, let’s dance our sun dance Then he’ll see that we are real natives
(They start dancing in a very primitive way, shouting rhythmically.)
INHABITANTS Oompa, compa,
gogga, gogga, doompa Oompa, oompa,
gogea, gogga, doompa Oompa, oompa BANANA OK, that’s enough (They stop dancing ) Do you believe us now?
CANNONBALL Yes, yes, yes Is the food on board? PEANUT Yes, and so is the water
CANNONBALL (He takes out the will.) ee I wonder if you would do something for me I need a little help Would you mind looking at this map I’m trying to find a cave with hidden treasure Do you know where it is?
BANANA Oh yes, I know it well It’s full of treasure gold, silver, and lots of jewels
PEANUT If you go alone, you won't be able to carry it all You’ll need at least six strong men CANNONBALL And there are six of us, that’s perfect ORANGE (pointing to the left)
Do you see that mountain? CROSSBONE It’s a long way to walk
ORANGE Oh no, it’s not that far About two hours or so Climb up this side of the mountain, then down the other side You'll find the cave near two coconut palms
LEMON You can’t miss it CANNONBALL Thank you
Trang 40PEANUT THE PIRATES THE INHABITANTS KATE PEANUT COCONUT PEACH PEANUT BANANA PINEAPPLE COCONUT PEACH 28
When you come back, dinner will be ready Then you can sit down and relax
Thank you
(The pirates leave to the left.) Goodbye Good luck
(They all wave goodbye.)
Why did you tell them? It was a secret
Don’t worry When they get to the cave, they’ll get the surprise of their life It’s empty!
Look what we have here We've got all the treasure
(Banana and Orange bring out a large sack.) You can have Bill’s part
(Kate and Jack put their hands in the sack.) No, wait We can’t stay a moment longer We must get down to the beach and row out to the ship, The White Skeleton
But before we go, we'll get dinner ready for those pirates
(Peanut puts some fruit on the bench.) And when they come back, they can sit down and relax for the rest of their lives They can eat and sleep and eat and sleep They can have as many bananas as they want But they'll never get any treasure JACK EVERYONE THE END
They don’t know it, but they have just started the longest holiday of their lives! And we're going home!
(They all exit to the right, singing.) Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream
(They continue singing until everyone has left the stage.)