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FAMILY IS UNEASY WHEN ONE SISTER DATES OTHER'S EX-LOVER DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Jane," and I are both in our mid-50s Jane has had numerous affairs over the past several years after her third divorce, and was involved in an "intimate relationship" with a terrific man, "Will," that lasted about three months Jane broke up with Will several months after she decided he wasn't what she was looking for, and she's presently engaged to be married to a very nice man ("Sam") and seems very happy I dated Will several times before he and Jane became involved We weren't intimate at that time, and we started seeing each other again over the last month This time we have fallen in love My problem is Jane is upset that Will and I are together and says I have "betrayed" her She is worried about having her former and current lovers present at family gatherings, and our parents are also concerned They say it's "just weird." The fact that my sister was intimate with Will doesn't bother me or Will, but it sure bothers them Abby, I have always been the "good girl" in the family and bowed to their pressure, but my relationship with Will is more than I could have ever imagined, and I don't want to give up my future happiness just to make my sister and my parents more comfortable My adult children have all met and approve of Will and our relationship, but Jane and my parents won't budge Any suggestions? - WANTS WILL IN WALLA WALLA, WASH DEAR WANTS WILL: Perhaps it's time to stop being the "good girl," begin acting like a woman who knows what she wants, and confront the double standard in your family If your sister was "sophisticated" enough to have serial affairs, and your parents have been so worldly they have turned a blind eye to it, then they should all be adult enough to realize that you are entitled to your happiness, too Although this may make for some awkward first few family gatherings, as grown-ups, everyone should be able to get past it But if they can't, you are going to have to decide whether you want this man, or to be a people-pleaser for the rest of your life Uneasy: Uncomportable, uncomportable feeling, it’s a weak emotion Numerous affairs: Many affairs Affairs: serious girlfriend or boyfriend with strong and closer emotion, s.b have sex with each other Lasted (v) continue for a time period Wasn’t what she was looking for: not what she want or not the kind guy what she want Became involved with s.b: started dating with them Intimate: Emotion, mean they were kissing each other or they were having sex with each other Fall in love: Feeling love with s.b, romantic love to each other Betrayed s.o: you was closer friend of them, then s.t bad to them: lie, cheated to them We call it’s betrayal, verb is betray Weird: strange Bowed to their pressure: You s.t what other people want you to Budge: change, move Won’t budge: don’t move, don’t change Confront: To go to against s.t or s.b Doule standard: diffirent rules for diffirent people It not fair for s.o Worldly: Experience Turned a blind eye to it: ignore Get past it: your problem gone People pleaser: s.b who always try to make every body happy Entitle: quyền, quyền lợi Terrific: khủng khiếp, kinh khủng Engage: cam kết, đính ước Upset: lật đổ, đánh đổ, làm lo ngại, làm bối rối Former: trước đây, nguyên, cựu ex: former primister: cựu thủ tướng Current: hành, đươc thừa nhận, phổ biến, thông dụng Gathering: hội họp, gặp mặt Bother: làm phiền Approve: tán thành, đồng ý Awkward: vụng về, lung túng Sophisticated: tinh vi, phức tạp, rắc rối Whether or: (liên từ) Rest of: phần lại Double Standard Tiêu chuẩn kép Publish Date:April 8, 2007 FAMILY IS UNEASY WHEN ONE SISTER DATES OTHER'S EX-LOVER GIA ĐÌNH CẢM THẤY KHÔNG THOẢI MÁI KHI MỘT CHỊ GÁI HẸN HÒ VỚI TÌNH CŨ CỦA MỘT CHỊ KHÁC DEAR ABBY: ABBY THÂN MẾN: My sister, "Jane," and I are both in our mid-50s Jane has had numerous affairs over the past several years after her third divorce, and was involved in an "intimate relationship" with a terrific man, "Will," that lasted about three months Jane broke up with Will, several months after she decided he wasn't what she was looking for, and she's presently engaged to be married to a very nice man ("Sam") and seems very happy Chị gái Jane độ tuổi ngũ tuần Jam có nhiều mối tình vài năm qua sau lần thứ ly dị, vừa bị liên quan vào mối quan hệ thân mật với người đàn ông tuyệt vời, Will, suốt tháng qua Jane chia tay với Will, vài tháng sau cô định không cô mong đợi, liền công bố đính hôn cưới người đàn ông tốt bụng Sam trông họ hạnh phúc I dated Will several times before he and Jane became involved We weren't intimated at that time, and we started seeing each other again over the last month This time we have fallen in love Tôi hẹn hò với Will vài lần trước Jane hẹn hò với Chúng quan hệ thân mật khoảng thời giam này, bắt đầu tìm kiếm để qua tháng ngày Lúc phải lòng My problem is Jane is upset that Will and I are together and says I have "betrayed" her She is worried about having her former and current lovers present at family gatherings, and our parents are also concerned They say it's "just weird." The fact that my sister was intimate with Will doesn't bother me or Will, but it sure bothers them Vấn đề Jane buồn phiền Will thân thiết với nói phản bội cô Cô lo lăng việc tình cũ tình xuất họp mặt gia đình ba mẹ lo lắng Họ nói thật kì quặc Thực tế chị thân thiết với Will mà chẳng đếm xỉa đến Will, chắn làm phiền họ Abby, I have always been the "good girl" in the family and bowed to their pressure, but my relationship with Will is more than I could have ever imagined, and I don't want to give up my future happiness just to make my sister and my parents more comfortable My adult children have all met and approve of Will and our relationship, but Jane and my parents won't budge Any suggestions? Abby, đứa gái ngoan gia đình nghe lời người, mối quan hệ với Will sâu sắc tưởng tượng, không muốn từ bỏ tương lai hạnh phúc vfi làm cho chị gái hay ba mẹ thoải mái Con trưởng thành chúng gặp Will chấp nhận anh mối quan hệ chúng tôi, Jane ba mẹ không chịu thay đổi suy nghĩ Liệu có gợi ý không? WANTS WILL IN WALLA WALLA, WASH DEAR WANTS WILL: Perhaps it's time to stop being the "good girl," begin acting like a woman who knows what she wants, and confront the double standard in your family If your sister was "sophisticated" enough to have serial affairs, and your parents have been so worldly they have turned a blind eye to it, then they should all be adult enough to realize that you are entitled to your happiness, too Wants Will thân mếm: có lẽ lúc để không trở thành đứa gái ngoan, bắt đầu hành động người phụ nữ người mà biết cô muốn, đối mặt với tiêu chuẩn kép gia đình Nếu chị gái bạn đủ phức tạp để có hàng loạt tình bố mẹ bạn hiểu đời, họ nhắm mắt cho qua điều sau họ nên trở nên chín chắn để nhận bạn có quyền hưởng hành phúc bạn Although this may make for some awkward first few family gatherings, as grown-ups, everyone should be able to get past it But if they can't, you are going to have to decide whether you want this man, or to be a people pleaser for the rest of your life Mặc dù tạo nên chút ngượng ngùng vài lần họp mặt gia đình, chín chắn người bỏ qua Nhưng họ không thể, bạn phải định liệu bạn muốn người đàn ông tồn người làm thứ để hài lòng người khác suốt phần đời lại