Exploring the sacrifices within the maternal careers of singaporean malay women

Pengorbanan Seorang Ibu: Exploring the Sacrifices within the Maternal Careers of Singaporean Malay Women SHARIFAH HUSEINAH MADIHID NATIONAL UNIVERSITY OF SINGAPORE 2014 Pengorbanan Seorang Ibu: Exploring the Sacrifices within the Maternal Careers of Singaporean Malay Women SHARIFAH HUSEINAH MADIHID (B Soc Sci (Hons), NUS) A THESIS SUBMITTED FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS DEPARTMENT OF MALAY STUDIES NATIONAL UNIVERSITY OF SINGAPORE 2014 DECLARATION I hereby declare that this thesis is my original work and it has been written by me in its entirety I have duly acknowledged all the sources of information which have been used in the thesis This thesis has also not been submitted for any degree in any university previously _ Sharifah Huseinah Madihid 24 September 2014 i Acknowledgements To say that this thesis was a labour of love is perhaps an understatement Two children, a move to a foreign land and a couple years later, I can finally proclaim that I have completed my thesis It would not have been possible if not for the people that are in my life To my husband, Ali Albar, thank you for seeing the potential in me I can always count on you to paint rainbows whenever my heart rains with tears of sadness, anger and hatred I am blessed to have found someone who has allowed me to besiege his ears with a barrage of complaints and theories about the world From you, I have learnt the art of dialectics; to be patient, respectful and considerate of others yet firm in my convictions You are the one who will yank the white flag out of my hands and thwart me from throwing in the towel Your optimism, love and belief in me fuel my desire to strive to be a better person every day I will always remember my mum saying that a sister is the greatest gift that a woman can ever have I can always rely on my sister Wardah Madihid to laugh at my jokes when no one would Amidst all the fights, merriment, hysterics and mischief-making I know that I will always have someone who will be there for me in my lowest of lows and highest of highs Your unofficial role as family mole and detective has taught me how sometimes the best form of fieldwork is silent observation I wish I have the ambition, drive and charisma that my brother Ali Madihid has Although we not meet often, I feel comforted to know that I have someone to turn to when I am in a fix To my beloved aunt, Badariyah Madihid, I will always be eternally in your debt Your assistance, encouragement and advice have facilitated me to achieve my goals in my life and career You never flinch whenever I seek your succour Your unrelenting faith in my pursuit of an education makes me know that there is no dream too big for me to achieve Thank you, Dr Suriani Suratman for embracing me at a time when I was clueless about my own goals I am truly lucky to have you as a supervisor You make me strive to be a better student and scholar I enjoyed going through the rigors of this intellectual sojourn under your tutelage I will always remember all the pearls of wisdom that you have bestowed upon me During this period, I was also grasping for a breath of sanity as I drowned in my new role as a mother You taught me how to raise children who are blind to gender and racial differences yet conscious of love, equality and hope I conducted my fieldwork a few months after giving birth I am truly fortunate to have met my informants especially Kak Hanani who have shown me nothing but kindness, grace and humility Without you my research would have been nothing Most importantly, I have learnt what type of mother that I want to be by being a witness to your careers as mothers Finally, I dedicate this thesis to the three loves of my life Latifah Alaydrus, your selflessness is the reason why I am here today You are my friend, my confidant and my ally I will never be able to repay all the sacrifices that you have made as a mother You are truly the living embodiment of a superhero, putting out emotional fires and erecting fortresses of love, tenderness and affection I can only hope to be half the mother you are Dear sons, Husein and Abdullah Albar, unbeknownst to you, you were with me throughout this journey You were kicking in my tummy as I go to my classes and write my thesis You were in my arms as I reviewed my work and interviewed my informants Your presence affected the way I look at life and my research The reason I was able to complete this thesis was because I want to see that glimmer of pride in your eyes whenever you think of me I pray that one day, I can look back at my life and say that I was the best mother that I could have been to you because in the end that is all that matters ii TABLE OF CONTENTS Abstract vii List of Illustrations viii List of Figures ix Glossary of Terms x CHAPTER ONE INTRODUCTION: BODILY INSPIRATION Personal Experience: “My Body is Not Just Mine” Discourses on the Ideal Malay Woman: On Motherhood The Ideal Mother is the Ideal Woman Inspirational Worker, Educator, Mother: Wearer of Many Hat CHAPTER TWO Exploring Media Discourse on Malay Maternity The Child‟s Well-being is Solely in the Mother‟s Hands The Knowledge Seeking Mother: The Role of Islam, Medicine and Advice Givers The Unwavering Sexual Wife The Ideal Woman‟s Chief Role as Mother 8 Searching for Malay Women‟s Maternity Experiences 14 Research Problem and Research Questions 18 Thesis Structure 19 LITERATURE REVIEW 21 The Evolution of Malay Maternity: Understanding Studies on Malay Maternity 21 Embodiment in Maternal Careers: Narratives of the Body in Maternity Studies Narratives of Maternal Sacrifice Narratives of Maternal Identity Narratives of the Body at Work 26 iii 11 11 26 29 31 Social Relationships & the Narrative about the 32 Maternal Vessel CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR METHODOLOGY: RESEARCH IS PERSONAL 36 About Myself 36 An Introduction to My Informants 38 Reflective Musings of the Embodied Researcher The Mother as Researcher The Emotional Research Relationship The Inevitable Power Dynamics 42 42 46 47 PREGNANCY: MENJADI WANITA SEMPURNA 50 Narratives of the Ideal Pregnant Body 50 The Miscarriage was My Fault: Feeling Responsible 50 for the Baby The Ideal Figure 52 The Ideal Diet 54 The Ideal Conduct & Attire 56 Strategies to Obtain the Ideal Pregnant Body Medicalizing Maternity on Their Own Terms Creating the Hierarchy of Knowledge: Empowerment in Multiple Sources of Knowledge The Motherhood Club: Forming New Relations while Breaking Old Ones We are Pregnant: The Role of the Supportive Husband The Pregnant Body at Work: Support from Colleagues 59 59 64 Preparing for the Baby‟s Arrival: Role Conflict 82 iv 73 75 79 CHAPTER FIVE THE IDEAL CHILDBIRTH 89 The Uncertainty of Childbirth: Losing Autonomy over 90 One‟s Body CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN Gaining & Regaining Bodily Control with Empathic & Experiential Knowledge 95 The Ideal Birth Birthing in the Hospital “All I need is my husband”: The Role of the Husband at Birth The Islamic Birth The Vaginal Channel towards Motherhood 96 96 97 THE CONFINEMENT PERIOD: THE WOMEN‟S REALM 118 Ideas about Confinement The Apprenticeship of Motherhood Dipping into the Fountain of Youth: Recovering One‟s Former Self Polluting the Polluting Body 119 119 122 Decisions & Intentions about Confinement 128 Malay Women‟s Confinement Choices: The Knowledgeable Decision Makers Embodied Familiarity Breeds Acceptance Questioning the Hierarchy of Knowledge Legitimizing the Old through the New 133 Of Gendered Spaces & Agentive Possibilities 139 CONCLUSION: THE BIRTH OF THE SACRIFICING MOTHER 145 Exploring Malay Women‟s Maternal Careers: The „Sacrificing Mother‟ 145 The Middle Class Maternal Career? 153 My… Our… Their Maternal Career: Some 154 v 102 108 126 133 135 137 Reflections BIBLIOGRAPHY 160 APPENDIX 173 vi Abstract There exists a dominant discourse on the ideal Malay Muslim maternal mother On the other hand, much of the research on Malay maternity deals with how different structural forces such as Islam, medicine and adat together with their agents have come to shape women‟s maternity experiences Thus, the voices of Malay women were largely not in the purview of research on Malay maternity This study then aims to expand the scholarship through interviewing Malay women who are currently or have recently undergone the experience of pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum/confinement period By placing Malay women‟s narratives as the focus of the research, I explore what are Malay women‟s maternal experiences in light of a dominant discourse on the ideal Malay mother I found that my informants adopted the dominant discourse on the ideal Malay mother They viewed themselves as primarily responsible for the successful growth of a healthy baby Their status as good mothers was determined by this They then train their bodies to meet this ideal Central throughout the maternal experience is the acts of sacrifice which facilitates the women‟s objective to become virtuous, good Muslim mothers Therefore, in order to be the ideal good Malay Muslim mother, my informants have to transform their bodily performance into one that is reflective of a sacrificing mother It is within these bodily acts of sacrifice that my informants‟ agentive capacities are revealed (231 words) vii List of Illustrations Illustrations Illustration 5.1 Comfortable Labour Positions Illustration 5.2 Increase Your Natural Birth Chances Illustration 5.3 The Birth Plan viii 102 106 109 Bordo, Susan 1990 “The Body and the Reproduction of Femininity: A Feminist Appropriation of Foucault.” Pp 13-30 in Gender/Body/Knowledge: Feminist Reconstructions of Being and Knowing, edited by A M Jaggar and S Bordo Rutgers: Rutgers University Press _ 1993 Unbearable Weight: Feminism, Western Culture, and the Body Berkeley: University of California Press Bourdieu, Pierre 2013 Distinction: A Social Critique of the Judgement of Taste London: Routledge Burns, Maree 2003 “Interviewing: Embodied Communication.” Feminism & Psychology 13(2): 229-236 Callister, 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under the chair or in front of her A heated stone known as batu tengku is placed on the body After that lime, sireh leaves or kapur (chalk) will be smeared on the stomach The stomach will then be wrapped in a cloth about to 12ft long Today, some women might opt for a girdle or tummy wrap A jamu that is crushed into a pulp Water or Eau de cologne is added to it to make a paste which is placed on a woman‟s forehead This is to be done before applying the pilis Tying hair in a Physical tight bun with a nail Param Physical Urut (massage) Physical A jamu that is crushed into a pulp Water is added to it to make a paste which is placed on a woman‟s entire body including arms, legs, stomach and chest A tukang urat (masseuse) is usually called on for days to a whole month to massage and attend to a newly delivered woman 173 Flattens the women‟s stomach and shrinks the womb Reduces headaches and prevents blindness said to be the result of childbirth Works together with pilis to reduce headaches and prevent blindness Warms the body and shrinks blood vessels believed to have expanded during childbirth The masseuse uses hot oil which aims to warm the body She is to return a woman‟s uterus to its original position Warm clothes Physical Staying at confinement location Physical Jamu Dietary Dried Kurau Dietary Fish & Spinach soup Socks, sandals, long sleeve shirts, jackets, sweaters are to be worn throughout the confinement period A postpartum woman is not allowed near any airconditioner or fan A newly delivered woman is to stay at home throughout the 40 to 44 day period She is usually not allowed to any work A woman will be required to take several jamu which is either homemade or bought in a traditional jamu shop Jamu comes in powder, pill, capsules and liquid form The most popular of this jamu is known as ubat periuk which is water boiled with an assortment of herbs and spices Throughout the confinement period, a woman eats freshly cooked rice and dried kurau fish She is not allowed to drink or eat cold foods and drinks The food tends to be flavourless as salt is not added to prevent bloating A woman should restrict her water intake 174 and size and also reduce any blood clots, aches and pains She is to remove wind from the woman‟s body She applies the ganggang, bengkung, param and pilis to the woman She might bathe the new born She may cook for a newly delivered mother It is to keep the woman‟s body warm Cold weather will result in bentan Going out would result in polluting the outside with her lochia She is also prone to be bentan Different jamu have different benefits The benefits include shrinking the vulva, preventing yeast infection, reduce body odour, reduce wind, and reduce a woman‟s appetite Some jamu are natural laxatives that aid in the slimming process Spinach soup helps increase breast milk content The food provides a woman with energy to conduct her new role as a mother and also aids in helping her lose weight Drinking water causes bloating The food should be as dry as possible The type of food eaten tends to differ from informant to informant but dried kurau fish and spinach soup seemed to be the most popular N.B: All of the information provided about these rituals is provided by my informants in the older age group 175 [...]... of Malay women s accounts of their maternity have been largely unexplored Therefore, this thesis wishes to explore how Malay women have come to experience their maternity in the context of a dominant discourse on the ideal Malay Muslim maternal woman What are Malay women s experiences of their pregnancies, childbirths and confinement periods in 18 the presence of a dominant discourse on the ideal Malay. .. the maternal careers of Malay women This ring true especially in the context of Singapore whereby there has not been any in-depth study of Singaporean Malay women s maternity narratives It is this gap in research that drove me to conduct an exploration into the maternity experiences of Malay women through their narratives 1.5 Research Problem and Research Questions Much of the writings on Malay women s... Malay women s female community is the transmitters of the cultural knowledge Additionally it also became evident from the literature that Malay women undergo a process of training from their youth onwards in their journey to become mothers Manderson (1998: 27) therefore suggests that Malay women have maternal careers Maternity and motherhood resembles a career in the Malay world that begins when the Malay. .. aware of her natural responsibility as a nurturer Evidently, the voices of extraordinary, can-do-it-all celebrity mothers then become the representation of the ideal Malay Muslim woman 4 I then wondered whether there were other representations of Malay Muslim women circulating in the media I turned to the internet for answers triggered by Cherian George‟s (2006) assessment of how women s groups used the. .. It is interesting that the creators of this site chose the Arabic term Ummi to identify the mothers interviewed Even the writer chose to call herself Umm Muhaimin which means the “Mother of Muhaimin” (her son‟s name) instead of signing off with her real name at the end of every article The writer of the blog saw the primary identity of herself and the women she interviewed as mothers This echoes Al-Hashimi‟s... of the ideal childbirth Chapter Six welcomes the reader into the women s realm of the 19 confinement period 9 The concluding Chapter Seven discusses the findings of my research I argue that Malay women endeavor to become the ideal good mother laid out in the dominant discourse and it is within this aspiration for an elevated status in the Malay society that I locate their agency in steering their maternal. .. needs of her child when she shops Nursyahidah (2012) argues that Berita Harian produces repeated depictions of Malay women She argues that the daily tends to churn out images and stories of laudable Malay women so that their readers would desire to emulate these examples Therefore, she claims that one can then make inferences about the media‟s conception of the ideal Malay woman from these images The. .. Malay Women s Maternity Experiences One of the earliest studies done on Malay maternity was written by Judith Djamour (1965) She briefly outlined some of her observations of postpartum rituals practiced by Singaporean Malay women Yet, instead of placing Malay women s perspectives at the helm of her research, Djamour privileged her own judgments of these women as indulgent, irresponsible, uneducated mothers... personality mothers should aspire to The presence of a dominant discourse on the ideal Malay Muslim woman is evident She is a mother who is able to balance between work and family life yet always prioritizes the latter Much of this discourse then relies on privileging the voices of „supermums‟ or celebrities This silences the perspectives of ordinary Malay Muslim women I then wondered whether such representations... depictions of feminine identity 1.2.2 Inspirational Worker, Educator, Mother: Wearer of Many Hats One of the websites which purports to target Malay Muslim women is blessedummi.com The blog in the website is managed by a young Singaporean Malay Muslim woman who was a former teacher Thus far, the “Inspirational Ummi Series” which features the writer interviewing inspirational mothers is the mainstay of the ... Seorang Ibu: Exploring the Sacrifices within the Maternal Careers of Singaporean Malay Women SHARIFAH HUSEINAH MADIHID (B Soc Sci (Hons), NUS) A THESIS SUBMITTED FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS DEPARTMENT... 139 CONCLUSION: THE BIRTH OF THE SACRIFICING MOTHER 145 Exploring Malay Women s Maternal Careers: The „Sacrificing Mother‟ 145 The Middle Class Maternal Career? 153 My… Our… Their Maternal Career:... means the “Mother of Muhaimin” (her son‟s name) instead of signing off with her real name at the end of every article The writer of the blog saw the primary identity of herself and the women