the buy side_ a wall street tra - duff, turney

[...]... my peers I’m not really all that comfortable with the suit-and-tie Wall Street hangouts Give me a pair of jeans and a sawdust floor any day Cite is primarily a restaurant, and, I must admit, with the curved bar and intimate space, the place has its merits The wineglasses are gigantic and bartenders pour heavy On a typical night at Cite, pronounced “sit-tay,” as in “par-tay,” there are ten to fifteen... where they grew up, their boyfriend’s name (if they have one), and how to make them smile That they all happen to be beautiful says more about Wall Street s hiring practices than any selectiveness on my part “This is Dave,” I say to Heather and Nora And just like that, Dave and I are surrounded by some of the most beautiful women in the bar “You guys need a drink?” I ask I can feel the group’s attention... Even Dave has begun to realize I’m standing next to him “Heather wants a boob job,” I say “Dave, what do ya think?” Heather playfully slaps me on the shoulder, then sticks out her friendly B-cups with a smile Dave has one of those slack-jaw, I-can’t-believethis-guy-just-said-that expressions But his eyes are wide and twinkling I can feel my stock rise I chug more “They look great to me,” he says Heather... hear the dig, scoop, toss Dig, scoop, toss JANUARY 1994 KENNEBUNK, MAINE TEN YEARS on, same driveway, same amount of snow The Green Machine has been replaced by a red ’87 Ford Explorer My father buys a car every decade or 200,000 miles He also repainted the house, but with the same colors The last of the U-Haul is packed I look at the giant lobster on the side of it and the script America’s Moving Adventure—MAINE... on bad date after bad date: there’s the crazy broker who randomly shouts profanities at nobody; the team of brokers who want a hot chick as their assistant and not a dude; the Latin American brokers whose clients don’t speak English; the female broker who hates me and anyone with a penis; the broker who is getting a divorce and cries all day (he wants me to go to dinner with him after work to talk about... suit at Brooks Brothers over the weekend And on Monday I’ll be holding a Dr Pepper and a Wall Street Journal I pick up at the newsstand I’ll tell the cabbie the address of my office and sit back and enjoy the ride I feel like I have a career My desk—I can call it that now—is next to Andy’s All of the desks are clustered together, including those that belong to Gail and Michelle, the other two assistants... a floater?” I whisper to her The office is as wide as a city block and the length of a football field All of the brokers and assistants sit out in the open The desks are arranged in clusters of six, and they line the whole floor Every desk looks the same, with a computer screen, a phone, an inbox and outbox mail holder, and a keyboard, along with family photos, cute sayings, and memorabilia At any one... game last night?” “Oh, it was good On my way to the Garden before tip-off I had my driver stop by my apartment on Park Avenue to pick up my floor seats,” he might say Josh is olive-skinned and wears similar glasses He’s almost too nice for Wall Street Andy takes advantage of Josh’s gentle demeanor But together, they’re the golden boys of the firm They get the hottest leads, the best allocations, and... time the client calls and says he has thirty-six blank fax pages—I’d put them all in upside down The broker doesn’t talk to me for the rest of the day A few days later they have me answering phones for another group The system works like this: The phone rings and I pick it up Then I write down the information that’s coming from the trading floor, then stand up and yell it to the two brokers and three assistants... The walls are dirty and the carpets are stained Four women, each with a smoker’s hack, sit at their desks hidden behind stacks and stacks of paper Darlene, who has high hair and wears a purple pants suit, tells me to follow her She’s the one I booked the appointment with from the ad in the newspaper She leads me to a small empty desk with a typewriter “Here,” she says with a flick of a piece of paper . colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Duff, Turney. The buy side : a Wall Street trader’s tale of spectacular excess / by Turney Duff also repainted the house, but with the same colors. The last of the U-Haul is packed. I look at the giant lobster on the side of it and the script America’s Moving Adventure—MAINE. I glance at. rapper, has the microphone in his hand and is pacing back and forth onstage. The energy surges, plateaus, then builds some more. The area in front of the stage is a pulsating mob, and as the space between