Answers 7. Simple, cheerful, and trusting, children are a joy to be around. 8. Being happy is more desirable than being rich. 9. Succeeding as a teacher requires patience, car- ing, and tolerance. Body and Conclusion Once you have your outline and your introduction, you need not concentrate so much on ideas; you already have them written down. In the body and conclusion of the essay, show off your writing style. Each of the three paragraphs after the introduction should contain a topic sentence and at least four supporting sentences. Your conclusion should restate your thesis and offer a few closing words. Extra Practice The sample paragraphs on pages 186 and 187 contain mistakes in grammar, punctuation, diction, and even organization. See whether you can find all the errors, and try to correct them. You may need to simply rewrite some of the para- graphs. Then, compare your revisions to the ones you will find on pages 195 and 196. There are many ways to rewrite the paragraphs; maybe you will find a better way than the ones given. If you can do that, you’re sure to pass the writing portion of the THEA. Topic Sentence and Supporting Sentences Each paragraph should have a topic sentence. Usually the topic sentence begins the paragraph and states the main idea of the paragraph in general. For each of the three or more paragraphs that will make up the body of your essay, one of the points from your outline should be used. That is why you made the outline. The points you wrote down will be the subject of the rest of the sentences in the paragraph. After composing the topic sentence, uphold and explain your main idea with supporting sentences. These sentences should be as detailed and descriptive as possible. Let’s go back to the uniform example and write some topic sentences and supporting sentences. Remember, the outline looks like this: Parents—Save money, children can use hand- me-downs, save wear on good clothes, buy- ing clothes easier, less pressure from children and fewer fights over money for clothes. Children—All children feel as well dressed as peers, feel more of a sense of belonging, eas- ier and faster to dress in morning, don’t have to worry about what others think, more dis- ciplined and calmer at school. School staff—Fewer fights at school, less bully- ing and teasing, more school loyalty among children so builds school community, par- ents less stressed so fewer calls for advice, frees officials to do other things, like academics. Conclusion: In the end, children, families, and school employees benefit. These are the thesis statement examples: ■ Adopting a school uniform policy will benefit parents, children, and school staff. ■ Uniform policies provide relief for parents, enhance self-esteem in children, and facilitate learning at school. Your first reason in favor of uniforms is that par- ents benefit. To make things easier, you can copy the first part of the thesis statement. This provides you with a transition (see below) as well as a topic sentence: In my opinion, a uniform policy will benefit parents. – THEA WRITING REVIEW– 185 Next, add your detailed reasons. Here is one pos- sible way to write the first body paragraph. (Remember, the paragraphs in this lesson have mistakes in them. Can you correct them?) In my opinion, a uniform policy will benefit parents. Because they are all the same style and shape and usually very well made, children can use the hand- me-downs of older siblings or even used ones bought from another child. Parents they were also able to save money by buying fewer school clothes for their children. Children, who are often demand- ing, will have already agreed on what clothes their parents will need to buy so there will be fewer argu- ments over clothes for school their parents will need to buy. Children and teachers like it too. Parents are generally in favor of uniforms because you do not have to provide your children with a different matched set of clothes for each day. After buying uniforms the first year, more peace was reportedly experienced by 95% of the parents interviewed and many surveys reported that it saved them an average of $100–$200 in clothing costs. Notice how this paragraph has used some statis- tics—completely made-up ones—to provide support for the topic sentence. Lots of descriptive detail and maybe even some quotations, when appropriate, will help support your main point and make your essay clear and compelling to your reader. Now, how about a topic sentence for each of the other two body paragraphs? ■ Children benefit from a school uniform policy. ■ Uniforms cost no extra money for teachers and administrators, yet the benefits are great. These sentences are fine for now, but your essay needs transitions from one paragraph to another. The first topic from your thesis statement gives your first body paragraph an automatic transition from the introduction. Now you need something that will link the first body paragraph to the second and the second to the third. Transitions A transition sentence joins two paragraphs together in some way. Usually, an idea taken from one paragraph is linked with an idea in the second paragraph. This is done all in one sentence. Sometimes you can do this at the end of one paragraph to link it to the next, but often it’s effective to build your transition right into your topic sentence, as you did with the first body paragraph. For instance, take the topic sentence for your sec- ond body paragraph: Children benefit from a school uniform policy. How can you link parents, the subject of your first body paragraph, to children? Try something like this: Not only are parents happy to see a uniform policy in place, but their children benefit as well. A transition links together body paragraphs one and two. You can also put your transition at the end of the previous paragraph, rather than at the beginning of the new one. Now add the points from your outline to your second and third body paragraphs. (Are you still look- ing for the mistakes in these paragraphs?) Not only are parents happy to see a uniform policy in place, but their children benefit as well. If you were not very wealthy wouldn’t you feel bad if you were not dressed as well as your peers. Children who dress differently are alienated from cliques at school and left to feel like outsiders and are teased – THEA WRITING REVIEW– 186 unmercifully and end up losing a lot of self-esteem. Dressing in uniform eliminates that problem. Instead you feel a sense of belonging. You are less distractd by cumparing your clothes to others so you are more apd to be relaxed and queiter in school. This enables them to learn more. Children might be happy with the school uniform policy but not as happy as their teachers and principals Uniforms cost no extra money for teachers and administrators yet the benefits are great. There is less competition in school so there is less fights. The reason is because there is less bullying and teas- ing and there is a lot less complaints. Instead, prin- cipals and teachers were able to use uniforms to build school pride and loyalty. Administrators and teachers will be able to concentrate on what they love to do most teach instead of dealing with problems from children and parents. Practice Strengthen your transition skills by using each of the following transition words in a sentence. In addition, create a sentence that goes just before the sentence the transition appears in to show how the transition is being used. 10. However 11. First 12. For example 13. Therefore 14. Indeed Answers Answers will vary, but here are some sample sentences. 10. I like blue. However, blue doesn’t look good on me. 11. Here are the steps. First, go to the store. 12. Eat a healthy diet. For example, eat vegetables and fruit every day. 13. I want to pass the THEA. Therefore, I am care- fully studying this book. 14. She is a good basketball player. Indeed, she made the Olympic team. The Conclusion A good format to follow for writing a conclusion is to first restate your thesis, and then try for a conclusion, something that will leave your readers with a sense of closure, indicating that they really have finished. So, in the first sentence or two, restate your the- sis. Do not add any new ideas here. This is a good place to try out parallel form. Adopting a uniform policy will lighten the burden of parents. It will promote cheerfulness and scholarship in children. Lastly, it will free the time and talents of teachers and administrators. The last sentence or two should contain the con- clusion. Its purpose is to end the paragraph gracefully and leave the reader with a sense of finality. The last sentence of a persuasive essay may be a call to action, a question, a prediction, or a personal comment. You might add one of these clinchers to the thesis summary on school uniforms: ■ What are we waiting for? We need to talk to our teachers, principals, and school boards, and give our children ALL the tools we can that are essen- tial for their growth and development. – THEA WRITING REVIEW– 187 ■ Since school uniforms do so much good for par- ents, students, and faculty, would you want your school to miss out? Practice Try writing a conclusion for the following topic: 15. It has been suggested that elementary students should attend school six days a week instead of the standard five. That way, each school day could be shorter. Do you think this is a beneficial and workable idea or not? Answer Answers will vary, but here is a sample conclusion. 15. Parents, students, and teachers will all benefit if elementary schools continue to meet five days a week instead of six. The five-day week enables parents to align their work schedules with the school’s, and it allows children and teachers a necessary and welcome break between school days. We cannot stand idly by and allow the six- day school week to come into effect. Once you have your ideas down on paper, it’s important to see that they are clearly and correctly expressed—unlike some of the paragraphs found in this lesson. Sentence Structure Several elements are needed to create effective sen- tences. You will need to be able to recognize these ele- ments on the multiple-choice portion of the THEA, and you will need to be able to effectively incorporate them into your essay. The content of your essay is even more important than its logical structure. Generaliza- tions need to be supported with exact and specific details, which you are free to make up. Your choice of words needs to be precise, your sentences varied, and your paragraphs unified. Your paragraphs should have connections between them so that your whole essay flows from one thought to another. Let’s look at some of the sentence elements that make up good para- graphs, so you can identify them in the multiple-choice section and use them in the essay section. Varied Sentence Structure Within a paragraph, sentences should be varied. This is important when you write your essay because varied sentence structure makes your essay more interesting and shows the test evaluators that you have mastered different sentence structures. There are two types of sentence variation: sen- tence length and sentence structure. Sentence length should not be a problem. Use some long sentences and some short ones. As for varying the structure of a sen- tence, you might need to brush up on parts of speech and different types of clauses and phrases. If this is the case, go to your local library and check out a book on grammar. The idea is not to be able to name all the dif- ferent types of clauses, but only to be able to place some variety in your writing. The following exercise demonstrates a few examples of various sentence structure. Practice Rewrite the sentences beginning with the part of speech indicated. 16. The hostess greeted her special guests graciously. (Adverb) 17. The proprietor, hard as nails, demanded the rent. (Adjective) 18. One must learn how to breathe to swim well. (Infinitive) – THEA WRITING REVIEW– 188 19. The white stallion leapt over the hurdles. (Preposition) 20. An octogenarian was playing with the children. (Participle) 21. The schools will not be state funded if they do not hire certified teachers. (Adverb clause) For additional practice, try writing sentences that begin with these words: After Unless Although Where As Wherever Because While Since Answers 16. Graciously, the hostess greeted her special guests. 17. Hard as nails, the proprietor demanded the rent. 18. To swim well, one must learn how to breathe. 19. Over the hurdles leapt the white stallion. 20. Playing with the children was an octogenarian. 21. If they do not hire certified teachers, the schools will not be state funded. Dangling Clauses You will need to recognize dangling clauses in the mul- tiple-choice section of the THEA. You should also avoid including them in your essay. Dangling clauses mix up who’s doing what: If they do not hire certified teachers, state funds will not be sent to the schools. It sounds as if the funds were doing the hiring. Instead you should write: If they do not hire certified teachers, the schools will not receive state funding. If you start off with a clause, make sure that the who or what referred to in the clause begins the next part of the sentence. Misplaced Modifiers Misplaced modifiers are closely related to dangling clauses—they also can creep in and corrupt the sen- tence structure in a piece of writing. You should rec- ognize what a misplaced modifier is, so you can identify it in a multiple-choice question. It’s also important that you do not misplace modifiers in your essay. Before you hand in your essay, take a minute to look for mis- placed modifiers in your sentences. Simply put, mod- ifiers need to be placed as close as possible to the words they modify. Modifiers may be adjectives, adverbs, or other phrases or clauses that are used as adjectives or adverbs. If the modifier is only one word, then place it directly in front of the word it is modifying. Here are some modifiers that are often misplaced in sentences: nearly only almost hardly merely just Opinions Never start a sentence with “In my opinion” or “I think.” If you didn’t think it, you wouldn’t be writing it. In the school uniform essay, the sentence “In my opin- ion, a uniform policy will benefit parents”should read simply: A uniform policy will benefit parents. – THEA WRITING REVIEW– 189 Redundancy Avoid redundancy. Try to keep your sentences as suc- cinct as possible without losing meaning. Make every word and phrase count. Take a look at the following examples of redun- dant phrases and replacement words you can use for concise writing: NOT BUT during the course of during in the event that if in the near future soon plan in advance plan past history past green in color green true facts facts Unecessary Sentences and Sentence Order In the multiple-choice writing portion of THEA, you will need to identify sentences in a passage that do not support the main idea. On the essay portion, you should avoid writing sentences that are not on the same general topic as the rest of the paragraph. The order of the sentences in a paragraph is just as important as the order of the paragraphs in an essay. For example, if you are writing about money parents will save, put all the sentences on money together. Pro- vide transitions for your sentences, just as you did with your paragraphs. You can join sentences with transition words such as besides, second, lastly, or you can put in topic sentences. Try rearranging the paragraph on parents in a logical order. You have two topics: money and peace in the family. So add a topic sentence to announce the first idea: First, uniforms would save parents money. The fake survey you added at the end of the para- graph reports statistics on both money and peace, so that’s a great way to tie the two topics together. The rest of the sentences should all fit under one of the two top- ics. If you have something that doesn’t fit, just leave it out. Run-On Sentences Before you move on to problems with words in the next lesson, take a look at a problem sentence from the sec- ond body paragraph on school uniforms. Children who dress differently are alienated from cliques at school and left to feel like out- siders and are teased unmercifully and end up losing a lot of self-esteem. Do you see that this sentence goes on and on? It should have been divided into at least two sentences. If you wanted to join the two above sentences, you could do it with a semicolon; if you used a comma, you’d have a sentence fault called a comma splice. The same is true of the sentence you just read. For more on fixing your punctuation and word problems, keep reading. The Punctuation, Capitalization, and Word Doctor You will need to know correct punctuation for both the multiple-choice and the essay portions of the Writing section. In the multiple-choice section of the THEA, you will need to be able to identify punctuation errors. In the essay section of the THEA, you will need to be able to use punctuation correctly. This lesson will help you do both. – THEA WRITING REVIEW– 190 . how the transition is being used. 10. However 11. First 12. For example 13. Therefore 14. Indeed Answers Answers will vary, but here are some sample sentences. 10. I like blue. However, blue doesn’t. the essay section. Varied Sentence Structure Within a paragraph, sentences should be varied. This is important when you write your essay because varied sentence structure makes your essay more interesting and. evaluators that you have mastered different sentence structures. There are two types of sentence variation: sen- tence length and sentence structure. Sentence length should not be a problem. Use