outlinging essay 3 docx

There could be a comma after Instead at the beginning of the fifth sentence. This comma may not be necessary in some circumstances, but you are changing the flow of thought here, and you want the readers to know it. Instead, you feel a sense of belonging. The sixth sentence contains a compound sen- tence that should be set off with a comma. The last sentence could also use a comma to separate a long clause from the main sentence, particularly since you are once again switching gears. Lastly, don’t let the fact that you’re almost done make you forget to put a period at the end of the last sentence. You are less distractd by cumparing your clothes to others, so you are more apd to be relaxed and queiter in school. This enables them to learn more. Children might be happy with the school uniform policy, but not as happy as their teachers and prin- cipals. Identity Disorder Keep the same person throughout the essay: I and me or you, or they and them. It is all right to address the reader with a question, but the facts and statements should match each other. In the paragraph below, the subject of the first and third sentences is “children.” You need to continue to talk about children in the third person throughout the paragraph. Not only are parents happy to see a uniform policy in place, but their children benefit as well. If you were poor, wouldn’t you feel bad if you were not dressed as well as your peers? Children who dress differently are usually alienated from cliques at school and left to feel like outsiders. Often they are teased unmercifully. Dressing in uniform eliminates that problem. Instead, they feel a sense of belonging. They are less distractd by cumparing their clothes to others, so they are more apd to be relaxed and queiter in school. The second sentence is not talking about chil- dren, but is addressing the reader, so it’s OK to use you and your. The last two sentences talk about children, not about the reader, so those sentences should use they and their, not you and your. Spelling Abnormality Disorder You have to write quickly during the exam, but save a couple of minutes at the end to check your work for spelling errors. Often our minds go faster than our pencils, and left alone, our pencils make a lot of mis- takes. Too bad there are no perfect pencils in this world! Did you find the misspelled words in the sec- ond body paragraph on school uniforms? They are less distractd by cumparing their clothes to others so they are more apd to be relaxed and queiter in school. Let’s fix it: They are less distracted by comparing their clothes to others so they are more apt to be relaxed and quieter in school. Forked Tongue Disease Be on the lookout for words or even sentences that might have two different meanings. Now that we’ve fixed the spelling errors in the sentence above, look again to see how it might be confusing. Does the sen- tence mean that comparing their clothes is less dis- tracting? And what are they comparing their clothes to? To other people? There are too many meanings for this sentence. It needs to be revised. –CBEST MINI-COURSE– 148 Children do not need to compare their clothing with that of others, so they have fewer distractions. Less than Insufficient Mistreatment Remember to use problem words correctly. Avoid dou- ble negatives. If you must use them, make sure you are saying what you really mean. If you have time, you can brush up on other problem words such as lay and lie, all together and altogether, and so on. Discussions on these topics can be found in grammar books listed at the end of this chapter. Check the problem words in the following sentences from the third body paragraph. There is less competition in school so there is less fights. The reason is because there is less bullying and teasing and there is a lot less complaints. The word fewer refers to a quantity that can be counted. There are fewer boys in the class. There are fewer mistakes in this paragraph than in the last one. “Less” refers to a quantity that cannot be counted, but might be able to be measured. There is less water in that cup now that you drank from it. In the sentence above, competition cannot be counted, so less is the right word. But the number of fights can be counted, so fewer should replace less. In the second sentence, the bullying and teasing in gen- eral are hard to count, so less is the right word. If the sentence was worded to read “incidences of teasing,” then fewer would be used because incidences can be counted. Complaints can be counted so fewer should be used. Fewer takes the verb are and less takes the verb is. You can also get rid of the redundant “The rea- son is because.” Maybe you can show off some paral- lelism here. And why not name the actors in this sentence? Because there is less competition in school, teachers and administrators report that there are fewer fights, less bullying, and fewer complaints from the students. Tense All Over Unless there is a very good reason for doing otherwise, the same tense should be used throughout your essay. You may use perfect tenses when appropriate, but try to avoid using future, past, and present in one para- graph. See whether you can find the tense mistakes in the following paragraph. Uniforms cost no extra money for teachers and administrators yet the benefits are great. Because there is less competition in school, teachers and administrators report that there are fewer fights, less bullying, and fewer complaints from the students. Instead, principals and teachers were able to use uniforms to build school pride and loyalty. Admin- istrators and teachers will be able to concentrate on what they love to do most, teach, instead of dealing with problems from children and parents. The first part of the paragraph is in present tense. The past tense verb were able in the third sentence should be changed to the present are able. In the last sentence, the future tense will be able should be also be changed to the present are able. –CBEST MINI-COURSE– 149 Instead, principals and teachers are able to use uni- forms to build school pride and loyalty. Adminis- trators and teachers are able to concentrate on what they love to do most, teach, instead of dealing with problems from children and parents. Sewing It Up Notice how the few remaining problems with transi- tions have been cleaned up in this final version of the essay on school uniforms. The body paragraph on teachers and administrators ended with too strong a statement—no one will believe that school personnel will have no problems from children just because of uniforms—so that statement has been softened. This final version also has a title. In Praise of School Uniforms Imagine a school auditorium full of alert children, all dressed neatly in blue and white uniforms, recit- ing the Pledge of Allegiance. Imagine these same children happily running out to play in their blue shorts and white oxford shirts, playing tag and fly- ing on swings. Whether or not to dress public school children alike has been the subject of much controversy in recent decades. Opponents suggest that requiring uniforms will stifle children’s ability to choose, squash necessary individuality, and infringe on the rights of children and families. Although there is some justification for these argu- ments, the benefits of uniforms far outweigh the disadvantages. Adopting a uniform policy will ben- efit parents, children, and the school staff. A uniform policy will benefit parents. Uniforms save parents money. Parents will not have to provide their children with a different matched set of clothes for each day, so fewer school clothes would be needed. Because uniforms are all the same style and shape and usually very well made, they can be passed down from an older child to a younger one, or even sold. On a recent survey, parents new to school uniforms estimated they saved up to $1,000 on school clothes per child the first year alone. The survey also reported that 95% of parents attributed an increased feeling of peace to the adoption of the uniform policy. Children will have already agreed on what clothes their parents will need to buy, so there will be fewer arguments on this often touchy subject. Not only are parents happy to see a uniform pol- icy in place, but their children benefit as well. If you were poor, wouldn’t you feel badly if you were not dressed as well as your peers? Children who dress differently are usually alienated from cliques at school and left to feel like outsiders. Often they are teased unmercifully. Dressing in uniform eliminates that problem. Instead, uniformed children feel an increased sense of belonging that enables them to be more relaxed and quieter in school. Children do not need to compare their clothing with that of others, so they have fewer distractions during their learning time. Children like the policy because there is less nagging at home and dressing for school is much easier. Parents and children are not the only ones who are better off with school uniforms. Teachers and administrators love them too. Uniforms cost no extra money, yet the benefits are great. Because there is less competition in school, teachers and administrators report that less time is spent medi- ating because there are fewer fights, less bullying, and fewer complaints from students. Administra- tors and teachers can use the time they save to do what they are paid to do—build school loyalty, form young minds, and teach basic skills. Teachers report a more peaceful classroom, and administra- tors report a more cooperative student body. Adopting a uniform policy will lighten the bur- den of parents. It will promote cheerfulness and –CBEST MINI-COURSE– 150 scholarship in children. Lastly, it will free the time and talents of teachers and administrators. What are we waiting for? We need to talk to our teachers, principals, and school boards, and give our children ALL the tools we can that will enhance their growth and development.  More Help with Reading, Math, and Writing If any or all of the three subjects covered in the mini- course are especially tough for you, you may want to consider doing some further reading. Following is a list of particularly useful books for preparing for the skills tested on CBEST. Reading ■ 501 Reading Comprehension Questions (LearningExpress) Fast, focused practice to help you improve your skills ■ Read Better, Remember More by Elizabeth Chesla (LearningExpress) A self-study book that helps you learn at your own pace, with varied exercises that make learn- ing easy. ■ Reading Comprehension Success in 20 Minutes a Day by Elizabeth Chesla (LearningExpress) A 20-step book that covers all the basics of read- ing well; especially useful for those preparing for exams like the CBEST. ■ Reading Success (LearningExpress) Learn to understand everything you read—dis- cover the meaning of new words, find the main idea, predict what will happen next, and much more! ■ 10 Real SATs by Cathy Claman (Editor) (College Board) Provides great test-taking tips as well as practice questions and answers. ■ Visual Communication by Ned Racine (LearningExpress) Visual literacy is a growing area of assessment on standardized tests—find out here how to read maps, charts, diagrams, and schematics. Learn how to use and make use of visual communica- tion! Book List The best way to improve your reading skills is to read as often as you can. Here is a list of well-known books that may interest you: Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt (Autobiography) Black Boy by Richard Wright (Autobiography) The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (Coming of Age) Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (Horror) Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (Science Fiction) Hiroshima by John Hershey (War) The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (Fantasy) Jurassic Park, The Lost World by Michael Crichton (Science Fiction) The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper (Historical) The Lives of a Cell by Lewis Thomas (Science/Medicine) Moonlight Becomes You and other novels by Mary Higgins Clark (Detective) Schindler’s List by Thomas Keneally (Historical) A Separate Peace by John Knowles (Coming of Age) The Stand and other novels by Stephen King (Horror) A Time to Kill, The Client by John Grisham (Thriller) –CBEST MINI-COURSE– 151 Math ■ Algebra the Easy Way, 3rd ed. by Douglas Down- ing (Barron’s) Covers all the basics of algebra; uses a continuous story to help make learning fun. ■ Algebra Success (LearningExpress) Equations, inequalities, powers, and roots— master algebra now! ■ All the Math You’ll Ever Need by Steve Slavin (Wiley) A friendly guide for those seeking to brush up on mathematics and elementary algebra. ■ Essential Math/Basic Math for Everyday Use by Edward Williams and Robert A. Atkins (Barron’s) Emphasizes math applications in selected career areas. ■ Everyday Math for Dummies by Charles Seiter (IDG). Like other books in the For Dummies series, this one features a fun presentation that will help you conquer math anxiety. ■ Geometry Success (LearningExpress) ■ Math Builder (LearningExpress) ■ Math the Easy Way, 3rd ed. by Anthony Prindle and Katie Prindle (Barron’s) Covers basic arithmetic, fractions, decimals, per- cents, word problems, and introduces algebra and geometry. ■ Math Essentials by Steve Slavin (LearningExpress) If you have trouble with fractions, decimals, or percents, this book offers an easy, step-by-step review. ■ Math Smart: Essential Math for These Numeric Times (Princeton Review) Covers all the basics of math using practice exer- cises with answers and explanations; good for studying math for the first time, or for review. ■ Math Success (LearningExpress) ■ Mathematics Made Simple by Abraham Sperling and Monroe Stuart (Doubleday) Targets students and others who want to improve their practical math skills. ■ 1001 Math Problems (LearningExpress) Fast, focused practice to help you improve your math skills! ■ Practical Math Success in 20 Minutes a Day by Judith Robinovitz (LearningExpress) Provides review of basic math skills and easy-to- follow examples with opportunities for practice. ■ Visual Math by Jessika Sobanski (LearningExpress) Specifically designed for the visual learner, this book explores shapes from many different per- spectives. See how math makes sense! ■ 501 Algebra Questions (LearningExpress) Covers basic to advanced algebra skills. ■ 501 Geometry Questions (LearningExpress) Focused practice helps refine geometry skills. Writing ■ 1001 Pitfalls in English Grammar (Barron’s) Problem-solving approach to writing and gram- mar; very useful for nonnative speakers of Eng- lish. ■ Better English by Norman Lewis (Dell) Useful for general information; suited to both native and nonnative speakers of English. ■ Better Writing Right Now! by Francine Galko (LearningExpress) Know the benchmarks that professionals use— learn how to make words work for you! ■ Grammar Essentials by Judith Olson (Learning- Express) Gives a thorough review of all the rules of basic grammar; lots of exercises and examples make for a painless, and even fun, learning experience. –CBEST MINI-COURSE– 152 ■ English Made Simple by Arthur Waldhorn and Arthur Ziegler (Made Simple Books) Designed for nonnative speakers of English; also good for native speakers with little training in grammar. ■ Errors in English and How to Correct Them by Harry Shaw (HarperCollins) Addresses specific problems in both writing and grammar; useful for nonnative speakers of Eng- lish. ■ 501 Grammar and Writing Questions (Learning- Express) Learn how to spot common grammar mistakes; compose correct sentences; organize clear, con- cise paragraphs; and much more! ■ Grammar by James R. Hurford (Cambridge University Press) Thorough coverage of parts of speech, sentence structure, usage, punctuation, and mechanics; especially good for native speakers of English. ■ The Handbook of Good English by Edward D. Johnson (Washington Square Press) Well-organized, comprehensive handbook for both grammar and writing. ■ Smart English by Anne Francis (Signet) Thorough general-purpose handbook for both writing and grammar; good for nonnative speak- ers of English. ■ Write Better Essays by Elizabaeth Chesla (Learning- Express) Your guide to top test scores, this book teaches the mechanics of good essay writing. It’s like hav- ing a personal tutor! ■ Writing Skills Success in 20 Minutes a Day by Judith Olson (LearningExpress) Covers all the basics of writing through step-by- step instruction and exercises; especially useful for those preparing for exams such as CBEST. ■ Writing Smart by Marcia Lerner (Princeton Review) Good for general writing skills; well-organized so information is easy to find. ■ Writing Success (LearningExpress) –CBEST MINI-COURSE– 153 . speak- ers of English. ■ Write Better Essays by Elizabaeth Chesla (Learning- Express) Your guide to top test scores, this book teaches the mechanics of good essay writing. It’s like hav- ing a. there is a very good reason for doing otherwise, the same tense should be used throughout your essay. You may use perfect tenses when appropriate, but try to avoid using future, past, and present. the few remaining problems with transi- tions have been cleaned up in this final version of the essay on school uniforms. The body paragraph on teachers and administrators ended with too strong