500 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT Consider Alternatives: There Are Often Several Ways to Fix a Mistake, So Be Flexible The coaches weren’t as interested in winning games during spring training, they considered it as an opportunity to experiment with different permuta- tions of players. (A) spring training, they considered it (B) spring training; but they considered it (C) spring training, but (D) spring training as they were in using it (E) spring training they were in using it You might notice that the original sentence is a “run on” (see Chapter 15, Lesson 15) because it joins two independent clauses with only a comma. Usually, run-ons can be fixed by replacing the comma with a semicolon, colon, or conjunction. So you might go through the choices and eliminate those that also don’t contain a semicolon, colon, or conjunction, leaving you with (B) and (C), but these don’t work. Choice (B) incorrectly combines the semicolon and the conjunction, and choice (C) is illogical. Choice (D) is the correct answer because it is the only one that logically completes the as comparison. Simplify and Check: All Else Being Equal, Shorter Is Better If you’ve developed a good ear by reading a lot of good prose, trust it. If a sentence sounds okay, it probably is, and you should be inclined to choose (A). But some writing problems are hard to identify. For instance, some needlessly wordy phrases don’t sound so bad at first. Even if a sentence sounds okay, always read any choices that are shorter than the original. If a choice says the same thing in fewer words, it’s probably better. Several reviewers suggested that the article was not only frequently inaccurate, but additionally it was needlessly obtuse and, ultimately, it was insubstantial. (A) but additionally it was needlessly obtuse and, ultimately, it was insubstantial (B) but it was also needlessly obtuse and it was ulti- mately also insubstantial (C) but they also commented on the needless obtuse- ness and also the ultimate insubstantiality (D) although it was also needlessly obtuse and ulti- mately insubstantial (E) but also needlessly obtuse and ultimately insubstantial What’s wrong with the original sentence? You might have a tough time identifying the grammatical problem, but notice that it is wordy and awkward. Don’t pick (A) immediately just because no mistake jumps out. Notice that (B), (D), and (E) are more con- cise than the original. The most concise is (E), which is the correct answer. (In fact, the grammatical problem is weak parallelism, which is discussed in Chapter 15, Lesson 3.) Check: Check for Dangling Modifiers Every “improving sentences” section is likely to have one or more dangling modifier questions (Chapter 15, Lessons 7 and 8). Make sure that you know how to handle them by applying this simple rule: Any modifying phrase must be as close as pos- sible to the word it modifies. Chosen from the best players from around the county, the coaches found the recruits to be very easy to work with. (A) Chosen from the best players from around the county (B) Being chosen from the best players from through- out the county (C) Having chosen the best players from around the county (D) Being the best players from throughout the en- tire county (E) The best players having been chosen by them from throughout the county The underlined phrase is a participial phrase based on the participle chosen. Who was chosen? The recruits, not the coaches. Since coaches is closer to the modifying phrase than recruits is, the modifier is mis- placed (see Chapter 15, Lessons 7 and 8). Notice that choice (C) changes the participle from chosen to hav- ing chosen so that it modifies coaches, the noun that follows. This choice makes it clear that the coaches have chosen the best players. Analyze: Inspect the Sentence for “Extra” Problems Remember that the sentence may have more than one problem. Always reread the sentence with your choice to make sure that there are no “extra” problems. CHAPTER 14 / HOW TO ATTACK SAT WRITING QUESTIONS 501 The entire editorial staff worked diligent for completing the article in time for the midnight deadline. (A) diligent for completing (B) diligent in order to complete (C) diligently for completing (D) diligent to complete (E) diligently to complete The most obvious problem is that diligent, an adjective, should be changed to diligently, an adverb, because it modifies the verb worked. But don’t jump right to choice (C) because the sentence also contains an error in idiom (Chapter 15, Lesson 10). The correct answer is (E) because it corrects both the modifier problem and the idiom problem. 502 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT 1. Being highly efficient and with plentiful fuel, physicists consider nuclear fusion to represent a profoundly promising source of energy. (A) Being highly efficient and with plentiful fuel, physicists consider nuclear fusion to represent (B) Being so efficient and its sources so plentiful, physicists consider nuclear fusion to be (C) Because nuclear fusion is so efficient and its fuel so plentiful, physicists consider it to be (D) Being an efficient and plentiful energy source, nuclear fusion is what physicists considered as being (E) For an energy source that physicists consider efficient and plentiful, nuclear fusion is 2. Committed to improving student achievement, the use of standardized tests in the elementary grades by the administration has increased dra- matically. (A) the use of standardized tests in the elementary grades by the administration has increased dramatically (B) standardized tests have been used by the administration increasingly in the elemen- tary grades (C) the administration has used standardized tests increasingly in the elementary grades (D) the use of standardized tests by the admin- istration has increased dramatically in the elementary grades (E) the administration have used more standardized tests in the elementary grades 3. More and more athletes are turning to yoga as a means of increasing fl exibility, refining balance, to control their energy, and they can use it to enhance their awareness of their bodies. (A) increasing flexibility, refining balance, to control their energy, and they can use it to enhance their awareness of their bodies (B) increasing their flexibility, refining their balance, controlling their energy, and enhancing their body awareness (C) increasing one’s flexibility, balance, energy, and body awareness (D) to increase flexibility, to refine balance, to control energy and the enhancement of the awareness of one’s body (E) increasing the flexibility and the balance and controlling the energy and the awareness of the body 4. Many of the rights granted by the Constitution were not regarded by the founding fathers as self-evident at all, but rather the subject of often vicious debate. (A) as self-evident at all, but rather (B) so much as self-evident at all as they were more (C) so self-evidently as they were (D) as self-evident as (E) as being self-evident, but nevertheless were SAT Practice 2: Attacking “Improving Sentences” Questions Each of the sentences below contains one underlined portion. The portion may contain one or more errors in grammar, usage, construction, precision, diction (choice of words), or idiom. Some of the sentences are correct. Consider the meaning of the original sentence, and choose the answer that best expresses that meaning. If the original sentence is best, choose (A), because it repeats the original phrasing. Choose the phrasing that creates the clearest, most precise, and most effective sentence. EXAMPLE: EXAMPLE ANSWER: The children couldn’t hardly believe their eyes . (C) (A) couldn’t hardly believe their eyes (B) would not hardly believe their eyes (C) could hardly believe their eyes (D) couldn’t nearly believe their eyes (E) couldn’t hardly believe his or her eyes CHAPTER 14 / HOW TO ATTACK SAT WRITING QUESTIONS 503 Answer Key 2: Attacking “Improving Sentences” Questions 1. C The original sentence is awkward and contains a dangling participle (Chapter 15, Lesson 7). Being is the participle, but the noun that it modifies does not follow the participial phrase. Furthermore, the logic of the sentence is unclear. Choice (C) shows the essential cause-and-effect relationship. 2. C The original sentence contains a dangling participle (Chapter 15, Lesson 7). Committed is the participle, and the participial phrase must be followed by the noun it modifies. Who is committed? Certainly not the use of standardized tests, but rather the administration. Notice that choice (E) is incorrect because it contains subject-verb disagreement (Chapter 15, Lesson 1). 3. B The original sentence violates the Law of Parallelism (Chapter 15, Lesson 3). In a list, all items should, as far as possible, have the same grammatical form. Choice (C) is parallel and concise, but it changes the meaning of the sentence from the original, and uses the pronoun one’s inappropriately. 4. A The original sentence is best. 504 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT Mapping: What Are “Error ID” Questions? The next questions on the SAT Writing are the “error ID” questions, which give you a sentence with four underlined parts and ask you whether any of the underlined parts contains a mistake. If one of them does, simply choose the underlined portion that con- tains the mistake. If the sentence is okay, choose (E). Any sentence error must be fixable by replac- ing only the underlined portion. Every other part must remain unchanged, and no parts can be moved. If you think that a word or phrase should be moved to another part of the sen- tence, you’re wrong. The team diligently practiced and prepared a clever AB game plan, but they never got the opportunity to use C the most ingenious plays in the game. No error DE You might prefer to say that the team practiced diligently rather than that the team diligently prac- ticed, but, choosing (A) would be incorrect because this “correction” would involve moving a word to a nonunderlined part of the sentence rather than just replacing it. Remember, every other part of the sen- tence must remain unchanged. In fact, either phrasing is fine: The adverb can come before or after the verb. There is a grammatical mistake here, though—do you see it? The definite pronoun they is plural, but its antecedent is team, which is singular. So choice (C) is the correct response, and should be replaced by it. Analyze but Don’t Overanalyze: Listen for the Clunker Attack each “error ID” question by first reading the whole sentence normally and listening for the “clunker.” Don’t overanalyze each underlined part just yet—just trust your ear for now. If your ear is well trained, then when something sounds bad, it probably is. As the questions get tougher, your ear may get less reliable, but it should get you through a lot of the easier ques- tions. For the tougher ones, you’ll really need to know the rules in Chapter 15. Check That It’s a Real Mistake If something sounds bad, make sure that the error is completely underlined. (If it’s not, then it’s not really an error.) Next, think about how the error could be fixed. If you just want to replace a word or phrase with something that means the same thing—such as replacing put with placed—it’s not really an error, just a mat- ter of preference. If you know the grammar rules in Chapter 15, do your best to identify the violation. If you can identify it, you’ll be sure you’re right. Had the speeches been any longer, the assembly A would have needed to be extended into the next BC class period . No error DE The first phrase, Had the speeches been, may sound strange to your ear. You may prefer to say If the speeches had been. . . . But both phrases are fine; the original doesn’t violate any rule of grammar. Simi- larly, instead of would have needed to be, you might prefer to say would have had to be. But this, again, is just a matter of preference. The original does not vio- late any grammatical rule. Every grammatical rule that you need to know for the SAT is discussed in detail in Chapter 15. For this question, the correct response is (E), no error. Alternative Mode of Attack: The Process of Elimination What if your ear doesn’t catch a mistake? The sen- tence could be correct, or perhaps it contains a subtle error. In these cases, most students feel more confi- dent working by process of elimination. Cross out any underlined parts that are clearly okay. If you can get it down to just two choices, it’s better to guess than to leave it blank. Alternative Mode of Attack: The Systematic Approach If you’re not sure whether a sentence has an error, you might want to take a systematic approach. Until you get very good at it, this strategy is a bit more time consuming and requires that you really know the Lesson 3: Attacking “Error ID” Questions CHAPTER 14 / HOW TO ATTACK SAT WRITING QUESTIONS 505 grammar rules discussed in Chapter 15, so it’s best to save it for the tougher questions. With this strategy, you look at each underlined part, check whether it contains a verb, pronoun, preposition, or modifier, and decide whether it is part of a list or comparison. If it contains a verb: • Does it agree with its subject in person and num- ber? If not, it contains subject-verb disagreement (Chapter 15, Lessons 1 and 2). • Does it convey the right time or extent? If not, it contains a tense error (Chapter 15, Lesson 9). • Does it properly convey doubt or factuality? If not, it contains an error in mood (Chapter 15, Lesson 14). • If it’s a past participle, is it in the correct form? If not, it is an irregular verb error (Chapter 15, Lesson 13). If it contains a pronoun: • Is it clear what the pronoun refers to? If not, it has an unclear antecedent (Chapter 15, Lesson 5). • Does it agree in number and person with the noun it replaces? If not, it contains a pronoun-antecedent disagreement (Chapter 15, Lesson 5). • Is it in the proper case, that is, subjective (I, he, she, we, they), objective (me, him, her, us, them), or possessive (my, your, his, her, our, their)? If not, it contains a case error (Chapter 15, Lesson 6). If it contains a preposition: • Does the preposition “go with” the word or phrase it is near? If not, it contains an idiom error (Chapter 15, Lesson 10). If it contains an adjective or adverb: • Is it near the word it modifies? If not, it is a mis- placed or dangling modifier (Chapter 15, Lessons 6, 7, and 8). • Is it in the correct form? If not, it is probably an adverb-adjective error or comparative form error (Chapter 15, Lesson 12). • Does it add meaning to the sentence? If not, it is a redundancy (Chapter 15, Lesson 12). If it is part of a comparison: • Are the things being compared the same kind of thing? If not, it is an illogical comparison (Chapter 15, Lesson 4). • Does it properly convey whether two or more than two items are being compared? If not, it is a com- parison number error (Chapter 15, Lesson 4). • Does it use fewer/less, number/amount, or many/ much correctly? If not, it contains a countability error (Chapter 15, Lesson 4). • Are the things being compared in the same gram- matical form? If not, it contains a parallelism error (Chapter 15, Lesson 3). If it is part of a list: • Does it have the same form as the other item(s) in the list? If not, it contains a parallelism error (Chapter 15, Lesson 3). If a word seems misspelled or unusual: • Does the word have the right meaning for this context? If not, it is a diction error (Chapter 15, Lesson 11). Check: Don’t Fear Perfection Approximately one-fifth of the answers should be “no error,” so don’t be afraid to pick (E). (But don’t expect too many sentences to be perfect, either.) A good multiple-choice test distributes the five answer choices evenly in the answer key, so each choice should be right about one-fifth of the time. Your test should in- clude about 18 “error ID” questions, so you should expect between two and four of these to have an answer of (E), no error. 506 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT The following sentences may contain errors in grammar, usage, diction (choice of words), or idiom. Some of the sentences are correct. No sentence contains more than one error. If the sentence contains an error, it is underlined and lettered. The parts that are not underlined are correct. If there is an error, select the part that must be changed to correct the sentence. If there is no error, choose (E). EXAMPLE: EXAMPLE ANSWER: By the time they reached the halfway point A (D) in the race , most of the runners hadn’t hardly BCD begun to hit their stride. No error E SAT Practice 3: Attacking “Error ID” Questions 1. The abundance of recent business failures AB have intimidated many prospective CD entrepreneurs. No error E 2. When scientists theorize about the traits that A all humans have come to share, they must be keenly aware of the fact that these traits B are evolving over thousands of generations. CD No error E 3. The entire industry has steadfastly maintained their position that tobacco is not addictive AB C and that smoking is an inalienable right D of consumers. No error E 4. In bestowing the award, the critics’ guild A praised the head writer, saying that her writing B for the television series continued to be consistently more intelligent and provocative C than anything on the air . No error DE 5. The challenge of Everest, its conquerors claim, A is far more the lack of oxygen at its rarefied B heights than even the precarious ice falls or CD precipitous ascents. No error E 6. Those who talk more respectful A to their employers are more likely to have their BC grievances addressed. No error DE CHAPTER 14 / HOW TO ATTACK SAT WRITING QUESTIONS 507 Answer Key 3: Attacking “Error or ID” Questions 1. C The subject is abundance, which is singular, so the verb should be has intimidated (Chapter 15, Lesson 1). 2. C The phrase over thousands of generations indicates that the evolution occurred over an extended time in the past. This means that the verb should be in the present perfect form: have evolved (Chapter 15, Lesson 9). 3. A Their is a plural pronoun, but it refers to industry, which is singular, so the pronoun should be its (Chapter 15, Lesson 5). 4. D Since the sentence indicates that the show continued to be, it must have been still on the air. Since it could not be better written than itself, choice (D) should be replaced by anything else on the air (Chapter 15, Lesson 9). 5. E The sentence is correct. 6. A This word is modifying the verb talk, so it should be in the form of an adverb: respectfully (Chapter 15, Lesson 12). 508 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT Lesson 4: Attacking “Improving Paragraphs” Questions Mapping: What Are “Improving Paragraphs” Questions? The last type of question on the SAT Writing is the “improving paragraphs” question. “Improving para- graphs” questions give you a draft of a short essay that needs revision. You are then asked questions about how to improve it. How to Attack “Improving Paragraphs” Questions You can answer many “improving paragraphs” questions without even reading the passage, and you may want to answer those “isolated sentences” questions first. Some of the ques- tions, however, require you to understand the general purpose of the passage and the indi- vidual paragraphs. These questions often con- tain the phrase in context or ask you to insert, remove, or combine sentences to make the pas- sage clearer, more concise, or more coherent. Before answering these questions, you may want to read quickly through the passage to get the general purpose and central idea. “Isolated Sentence” Questions Some “improving paragraphs” questions are very much like “improving sentences” questions. These questions don’t contain the words in context and just ask you to im- prove a single sentence in isolation. These “isolated sen- tence” questions may differ from “improving sentences” questions only in that there may not be a “no error” choice. Which of the following is the best way to revise sen- tence 7 (reproduced below)? If the students would of known in advance about the shortage, they could have prevented the crisis. (A) If the students would have known in advance (B) It being that the students might have known in advance (C) If the students had known in advance (D) Being known in advance (E) If it had been that the students knew in advance In this case the correct choice is (C) because it is the only one in standard subjunctive form. “Sentence in Context” Questions “Sentence in context” questions usually contain the phrase in context. They ask you to improve sentences by taking the previous sentences into account. Often the given sentences contain pronouns (such as it or they) that refer to things in previous sentences or tran- sitional adverbs (such as therefore, yet, nonetheless, al- though, or furthermore) that serve as logical connections among ideas. When answering “sentence in context” ques- tions, always read the previous sentence or two before thinking about how to improve the given sentence. In the given sentence, pay spe- cial attention to pronouns (such as it or they) and transitional adverbs (such as therefore, yet, nonetheless, although, or furthermore), and notice how they relate to ideas in the previous sentences. In context, which of the following is the best version of sentence 12 (reproduced below)? The racers were shivering as the race began. (A) (As it is now) (B) Nevertheless, the racers were shivering (C) Furthermore, the racers were shivering (D) Therefore, the racers were shivering (E) All the while, the racers were shivering Since the question contains the phrase in context, the correct answer depends on what immediately pre- cedes sentence 12 in the passage. For instance, if the previous sentence were The race organizers had arranged for large, powerful heaters to be placed at the starting line, then (B) would provide the most logical transition. If, however, the previous sentence were The temperature had plummeted 20 degrees in the hours before the race was to start, then (D) would make the most sense. “Insert, Remove, or Combine” Questions Some “improving paragraphs” questions ask you to consider inserting, removing, or combining sentences to make the passage clearer, more concise, or more coherent. They ask questions such as Where is the most logical place to insert the following sentence? Or Which of the following is the best sentence to insert after sentence 4? When answering “insert, remove, or combine” questions, remember that every sentence in a paragraph must support the same central idea. If a sentence doesn’t follow the flow, it has to go. CHAPTER 14 / HOW TO ATTACK SAT WRITING QUESTIONS 509 (1) John D. Rockefeller, Jr., was born in 1854 as the only son of America’s richest man and first billionaire. (2) Intensely shy as a child and young man, he came out of his shell at Brown University, where he was elected president of the junior class and senior manager of the football team. (3) After graduating from Brown, John had the opportunity to follow his father into the oil business and add to the family fortune. (4) He soon dis- covered that wealth, rather than being something to hoard, was “an instrumentality of constructive social living.” (5) Because of the hard-nosed business prac- tices of John’s father, John D. Rockefeller, Sr., the name Rockefeller had become synonymous with greed and trade-busting. (6) The younger John decided that he could make this better. (7) Perhaps no American has ever done more in the area of philanthropy than John D. Rockefeller, Jr. (8) He created charitable foundations like the Rocke- feller Foundation, the Rockefeller Institute, and the General Education Board. (9) He sponsored the con- struction of Rockefeller Center in New York City, financed the reconstruction of Colonial Williamsburg, which stands to this day as an invaluable historical treasure, and donated the land in New York City for the United Nations complex. (10) The scope of Rockefeller’s conservation efforts, also, was profound. (11) He donated thousands of acres of land to national parks like Acadia, Shenan- doah, the Great Smoky Mountains, and the Grand Tetons. (12) He also financed the construction of museums in Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and Mesa Verde. (13) John D. Rockefeller, Jr., is considered the father of philanthropy in the United States never before or since has any one person made such an impact on public institutions. (14) Although always willing to support a good cause, Rockefeller never sought accolades for himself. (15) He was offered dozens of honorary degrees from prestigious universities, and declined all but one, from his alma mater. 1. In context, which of the following is the best revision of the underlined portion of sentence 4 (reproduced below)? He soon discovered that wealth, rather than being something to hoard, was “an instrumentality of constructive social living.” (A) However, he soon discovered (B) Furthermore, he soon discovered (C) He would only have soon discovered (D) Therefore, he soon discovered (E) When he soon discovered 2. Where is the most logical place to insert the following sentence? John’s discovery of philanthropy could hardly have come at a better time for the Rockefellers. (A) After sentence 1 (B) After sentence 3 (C) After sentence 4 (D) Before sentence 7, to begin the second paragraph (E) After sentence 8 3. Which of the following revisions of sentence 6 (reproduced below) best improves its clarity in the context of the first paragraph? The younger John decided that he could make this better. (A) The younger John, the son of John D. Rockefeller, Sr., decided that he could make this better. (B) The younger John decided that he could re- store the prestige of his family name. (C) The younger John, who was affectionately called “Johnny D,” decided that he could make this better. (D) This was something that the younger John himself thought he could improve greatly. (E) But this was something that young John knew he could do something about the prob- lem of his family honor. SAT Practice 4: Attacking “Improving Paragraphs” Questions Below is a draft of an essay that needs improvement. Some sentences may contain grammatical errors, and the paragraphs may need to be altered to improve their logic, clarity, and cohesiveness. Read the pas- sage and answer the questions that follow. . best. 504 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT Mapping: What Are “Error ID” Questions? The next questions on the SAT Writing are the “error ID” questions, which give you a sentence with four underlined parts and. replac- ing only the underlined portion. Every other part must remain unchanged, and no parts can be moved. If you think that a word or phrase should be moved to another part of the sen- tence,. right about one-fifth of the time. Your test should in- clude about 18 “error ID” questions, so you should expect between two and four of these to have an answer of (E), no error. 506 McGRAW-HILL’S SAT The