The key to ielts academic writing task 1 with key inserted (Pauline Cullen)

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The key to ielts academic writing task 1 with key inserted (Pauline Cullen)

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This online course will help you finally get band 7 or above in IELTS Writing Task 1. Begin studying now with 20 lessons showing you the biggest mistakes you are making in task 1, how to fix these problems, and giving 9 new tasks for test practice. There are 25 model answers as well as interactive exercises to help you focus on being more precise with your language.

INTRODUCTION How will this course help? This course teaches the skills needed to write a formal discursive essay that will meet the criteria course is divided into two sections The first teaches the skills needed to write a clear, logical features guided test practice with model answers Rather than simply presenting these as a finished the writing process step by step, and show the type of thinking and planning you need to in samples of bands and 6.5 writing that candidates have sent to me over the years I will help level, show you how to address them, and how to increase the band score from 6.5 to band Why focus on band 7? A band certificate is an important qualification that can open doors towards immigration and resources, and after working hard to develop the appropriate skills, many candidates manage except writing, where the vast majority remain stuck at band 6.5, no matter how hard they try first contact me, their most common feelings about IELTS writing are confusion, frustration, and end to these feelings In writing it, I had one clear aim: to help candidates make genuine progress band 7+ score they need, and finally leave IELTS behind Problems and solutions We cannot solve a problem unless we first try to understand what causes helping people reach band and above in the writing test for years, and to be stuck at band 6.5 However, as I looked deeper into the problem, evolved into a course that was double the size that to in an abstract way – we have to show language problems, and it is it, I I it When I thought I began working I knew what gradually refined my originally planned on writing step by step I I realised that was also very aware that a great very easy for grammar and vocabulary to dominate, yet many educated to reach band in writing This shows that the Task response and Cohesion and coherence criteria these are a major focus in this course Why is writing so difficult? When speaking, we can keep talking until the person listening understands what we are saying; explanation, we can simply repeat or rephrase it In the speaking test, the examiner can help out writing, there is no one else to keep us going, or to keep us on topic The truth is that all of us about complex ideas, even in our first language People also tend to see writing as the physical act of putting pen to paper or typing on a keyboard, process is mental When look as though I I am writing a book or preparing a talk, a surprising amount of the work am taking a break, walking the dog, or staring into the distance, but inside my invisible stage of the writing process is a crucial one It is a time when main points, but the fact that we cannot see it is often ignored In fact, many videos give it means I can reject ideas, organise reach a level where you can simply sit down at a desk and write fluently and coherently The reality is that all good writing involves thinking, planning, cutting, and rewriting What you of these materials It may surprise you to know that my first rough drafts are often far too long, and unclear – all common problems at bands and 6.5 Any attempts you make to simply sit and band writing Sample answers and Model answers I am often asked for sample answers, and many seem to believe these will provide a quick fix mixed feelings about answers like this While people to learn answers to use in the test to approach any task This is why it is I I can see merit in providing them, I have always am also worried about providing just one answer when important to see the answers supplied in textbooks as a distinction is an important one: a ‘model’ sets a standard that students can learn from, while a Sample answers produced by professional writers also tend to result in a level of English that level I think of as the ‘invisible band 10.’ These answers are written in the comfort of the writer’s an answer is too long, the writer has time to edit and cut Before publication, the finished product by more professionals, all of which can result in a rather nuanced and subtle response to the task passage Understandably, this process does not produce the same results as an individual candidate situation Because of this, in my view, the test book sample answers often don’t serve as useful classroom Furthermore, although there are many sample answers online that claim to be band actually show band skills in some criteria Looking at typical sample answers made me realise solution are causing a great deal of the current problems, and that while ther e are ‘sample answers,’ How is this course different? To address these problems, I set out to produce model answers that set the right standard for produced using a 40-minute time limit so that they reflect what a band candidate can realistically revelation to me that I had to change the way I normally plan in order to achieve band Task cohesion within the time limit Whether working on a computer or on paper, without the right planning, in terms of these criteria The truth is that teachers and professional writers seldom practise what always appreciate the problems associated with successfully completing the task in exam conditions, always be practical or effective This is something I have tried to address throughout this course you are taking the computer or paper version of the test A note for native speakers Native speakers of English also take the IELTS test, sometimes as part of a visa or job application, teaching Many are disappointed to find that they can score band in almost every paper except score of band 6.5 Some see this as proof that the test is flawed, and even conclude that it is subjective this way means that they fail to address the problems in their writing that keep them below band In many English-speaking countries, discursive essay writing skills are generally not taught at school curriculum In an exam-driven education system, such skills are often only taught in courses something isn’t going to be tested then teachers are not motivated to spend valuable time on native speakers practise listening and speaking on a daily basis, the same cannot be said of reading written skills, band does not automatically mean ‘native-speaker level,’ and a native speaker lower band in IELTS as a non-native speaker Speaking is as different to writing as walking is to dancing While we walk on a daily basis, we enjoy dancing, others avoid it as much as possible Like dancing, writing is connected to style, more likely to resemble a relaxed shuffle than a classical waltz Thus, even if you are writing every unlikely that the style of writing you are doing is the same as that required to present a formal dancing, there are steps involved in this style of writing that need to be learned and practised this course will show you how to perform those steps How to use this course To improve your score, you must learn to apply the skills the examiner is looking for in your writing this, so be sure to complete this section first, before moving on to the guided test practice section read, re-read, think, absorb, and be sure to complete the interactive practice exercises Work often is generally the best approach to take, and I’ve included ideas to help with this high- Throughout the lessons, you will be encouraged to review your writing If you have done previous nearby Reflect on your own writing problems and try to be systematic in the way that you work will find a link to printable worksheets to guide you through any activities and help you organise have them next to you as you work through the lessons All of our language skills are linked in some way, and writing ones These add variety, but have tried to make use of this by incorporating I hope you will also find that they have a positive effect on I stage of writing, we hear our inner voice Lower levels tend to think of ideas in their own language these word for word At the higher levels, students can think in the language they will use to write, inner voice makes the same mistakes as when you are speaking in English, and these mistakes The listening exercises not only offer variety but should also help improve your written accuracy NOTE: The writing models in this course are in response to the Academic writing task questions in the book, as well as extra test questions I have written In addition to my own model answers, there by candidates who were continually scoring band 6.5 in writing, shared here with their permission problems in these essays and show you how to fix them to produce essays at band 8+ T o ensure that the scores in this course are accurate, it was edited by two wonderful colleagues assessment and IELTS test writing, Sophie Walker and Megan Yucel Their feedback and comments am indebted to them both Look out for a separate workbook for GT Task 1, which I plan to produce Table of Contents Introduction Table of Contents SECTION ONE: DEVELOPING TASK ACADEMIC WRITING SKILLS Lesson - Task achievement 1.1 Common problems in Task 1.2 How and why you may be practising Band 3-5 1.3 Writing a conclusion in Task Lesson - Coherence and cohesion problems in Task 2.1 Is Coherence and cohesion different in Task 1? 2.2 Coherence and cohesion between and within sentences 2.3 Lack of progression and clear organisation Lesson - Getting Started 3.1 Step 1: Noticing details 3.2 Step 2: Identifying key features 3.3 Step 3: Organising information Lesson - Introductory sentences 4.1 The introductory sentence 4.2 Paraphrasing the test question 4.3 Introducing map and plan tasks Lesson - The Overview and Highlighting Key features 5.1 The overview 5.2 Writing a clear overview 5.3 Presenting and highlighting key features Lesson - Line Graphs 6.1 Understanding line graphs 6.2 Addressing Band problems 6.3 Model answer Lesson - Map Tasks 7.1 How map tasks are different 7.2 Common problems in map tasks 7.3 My model answer Lesson - Being precise in map and plan tasks 8.1 Common language problems 8.2 Addressing band problems 8.3 My model answer Lesson - Process Tasks (1) 9.1 Language used in process tasks 9.2 Coherence and cohesion 9.3 Model answer and improving short answers Lesson 10 - Process Tasks (2) 10.1 The difference between trends steps and stages 10.2 Changing the language in the question 10.3 Model answer SECTION TWO: TEST Practice Key Ideas about Test practice Useful practice activities Lesson 11 - Guided Test Practice - Data about People (1) 11.1 Understanding the Data 11.2 Changing the language in the question 11.3 Model answer and Language review Lesson 12 - Guided Test Practice - Data about People (2) 12.1 Writing about gender and age 12.2 Timed test practice and making general statements 12.3 Model answer Lesson 13 - Pie Charts, Stacked Bar charts, and Future predictions 13.1 Dealing with Pie charts 13.2 Test practice and being precise 13.3 Model answer and Stacked bar charts Lesson 14 - Frequency and Grouping information logically 14.1 Describing frequency 14.2 Grouping information logically 14.3 Model answer Lesson 15 - Data about energy and problems 15.1 Data about energy 15.2 Model answer 15.3 Cause and effect in Task Lesson 16 - Reviewing Process Tasks 16.1 Dealing with technical details 16.2 Test practice 1: Energy 16.3 Test practice 2: Life cycle Lesson 17 - Review of Map tasks and Task 17.1 Reviewing Map and Plan Tasks 17.2 Taking a User approach to Maps and Plans 17.3 Review of Task Language and Style Lesson 18 - Timed Test Practice 1: Bar charts, Map Task, Pie Charts 18.1 Getting ready: Test practice (Bar chart) 18.2 Test practice and (Map task and Pie charts) 18.3 Model answers, points to notice and key features Lesson 19 - Timed Test Practice 2: A table, process task, and line graph 19.1 Test practice - A Table 19.2 Test practice - A Process task 19.3 Test practice - A Line graph Lesson 20 - Timed Test Practice 3: A bar chart, a process task, and a stacked bar chart 20.1 Test practice - A Bar chart 20.2 Test practice - A Process task 20.3 Test practice - A stacked bar chart Khoi Doan tuankhoi0811@gmail.com No Notes Available To add a note, select the desired word or sentence, click the Note button, type your note, and hit Save To add a note to the page, click the Note button at the top right corner of the screen SECTION ONE View Profile Use styling Font size: 1em DEVELOPING Auto-adjust line To add a bookmark to the page, click the Bookmark button at the top right corner of the screen TASK ACADEMIC WRITING SKILLS Pauline Cullen's Key to IELTS To highlight a word or sentence, height Sync with server Toggle fullscreen view select the desired word or sentence, click the Highlight button, choose a color, and hit Save Page view Scroll Page animation Logout / Writing Task Pauline Cullen LESSON - Task achievement Nguyen Thanh conankid0686@gmail.com View Profile Table of Contents In this lesson, you will learn about: 1 Common problems in Task Font size: 1em 1.1 Common problems in Task 1.2 How and why you may be practising Band 3-5 Toggle fullscreen view 1.2 How and why you may be practising Band 3-5 Writing a conclusion in Ta sk Lesson Task achievement Scroll 1.3 Writing a conclusion in Task Lesson Coherence and cohesion problems in Task Page animation Lesson Getting started Logout Lesson Introductory sentence Lesson The overview and highlighting key features Lesson Line graphs Lesson Map Tasks Lesson Being Precise in map and plan tasks Lesson Process tasks (1) Lesson 10 Process tasks (2) Section Test Practice The Key to Writing Task / 1.1 Common problems in writing Task In lessons and we will explore the most common problems in writing task These problems have been selected because each of them will keep your Task score at band or even lower Using the wrong materials As with other parts of the test, many of the misunderstandings about Task come from using the wrong materials for your practice Some people try to justify this, telling me: ‘Task in IELTS If is a graph of some kind so we can practice even using a random infographic.’ you are using materials you find online, or that have been shared following a test, then you are not preparing for the real test Materials used in the real test are carefully written and edited so that they are not confusing they don’t require specialist or technical knowledge they force you to use (and therefore practise) the skills you need to show in the test You will not find this in ‘random infographics’ you find online Task Achievement V Task Response In writing task 2, you are assessed on how you respond to the task, while in writing task 1, the extent to which you achieve the task that it is is being measured This means very important to follow the instructions you are given These tell us that you need to: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words In spite of this, most of the band answers I see are written as though the instructions tell you to: List all of the information you can see This problem may stem from using practice materials that don’t reflect the real test It is worth noting here that writing task was changed in 2007 This is a sample task taken from the 2003 IELTS Handbook and shows what the task used to look like: As you can see, the instructions are different: before 2007 you were asked to ‘ Write a report describing the information shown.’ If you are using materials that are outdated, or tasks that only show a limited amount of data, then you are likely to practise describing, or listing, everything you see This means you are not ‘ selecting or ‘ summarising ’, ’ which are two of the main requirements of this task Selecting information ‘Selecting the main features’ is clearly important if you want to ‘achieve’ this task However, for many people this education has focused on rote learning, copying texts, or writing according to a fixed formula A follower of my Facebook page made this comment: is easier said than done It is particularly difficult if your KEY IDEA : There is no rule for about how to organise your paragraphs Just aim to organise your data in a way that: groups the information logically helps you to make comparisons and summarise the changes The organisation will vary based on 1) the data you are given on the day and 2) the way that you decide to compare the data There is no single correct answer However, the ‘best’ way is usually easier to write about and easier to read Practice organising your information in different ways then compare the results Is one easier to write about and easier to read and follow? Is one more repetitive and confusing than the other? The more you this, the more confident you will become in making the right choice Don’t begin writing until you have made a clear decision Language to notice: I used ‘ compares instead of ‘shows’ in the first sentence because the information ’ ‘shows’ is is displayed in a way to help us to ‘compare’ the different amounts The word perfectly fine to use here: 'The table shows…./ The bar chart shows ' I used ‘ the next highest to refer to the second highest figure I used ‘ exponentially to describe the increases made by salmon: ‘ salmon rose exponentially in almost every two-year period.’ We can only use this word ’ ’ if the figures rise increasingly sharply in each period (the bar chart shows this visually) Notice the use of ‘ relatively million tonnes I is ’: ' In contrast, rainbow trout was continually cultivated in relatively small amounts, beginning at only six million tonnes in 2008 not a ‘small amount’, it is ' Six only ‘small’ relative to (i.e compared to) the other figures here used ‘ short-lived to show that an increase did not last long and was soon over ’ Key features Check your answer has key features similar to those in the list below NB you not need to have all of them Remember to provide supporting evidence Key features to include: *The first four are main trends to include in your overview *Arctic char had the highest figures in the beginning *Salmon had the biggest figures at the end *The figures for salmon were far higher than for any other *Rainbow trout was by far the lowest throughout Significantly more Arctic char was produced in 2008 than any other fish Arctic char fell in 2010 and climbed slowly but steadily between 2012 and 2018 Salmon rose sharply in every 2-year period Salmon overtook Arctic char in 2014 and dominated in 2016 and 2018 Rainbow trout rose steadily from 2008 to 2014, then sharply in 2016 Rainbow trout peaked in 2016 and fell sharply in 2018 - these are examples of the main key features to include 19.2 Test practice 5: A process task The diagram below shows the stages in the life cycle of a frog Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words When you have finished, look at the model answer, and key points to notice below Check your answer by looking at the list of key features to include Test practice Model answer Model answer - Practice Test The diagrams show the four stages in the life cycle of a frog Overall, the frog undergoes several transformations that enable it to leave its original underwater environment to live on land for most of its life The frog begins its life as an egg, on the surface of a pond or lake The eggs are laid in large quantities and protected by a jelly-like substance Between six and twelve days later, the eggs hatch and tadpoles emerge These small fish-like creatures can swim and feed on small plants and algae This second stage lasts for up to nine weeks, during which time the tadpole develops rear and fore legs In the third stage, the tadpole grows into a froglet, which has longer legs and can jump develops lungs, allowing it to breathe out of the water, where it It now continues to live and feed The froglet’s long tail will disappear over the next 12 weeks as, approximately six months after hatching, it matures into an adult frog In this final stage, the frog can live in and out of the water, among nearby vegetation As well as changing habitat, the adult frog also has a different diet, feeding on small animals and insects Living up to four years, the adult will return to the still waters of a pond to lay eggs and begin the cycle again Points to notice: Did you remember to think about time span and how long the changes last or take? For example, You could add the total time span to the overview if you want – I it takes to weeks for the tadpole to grow all legs added this at the end of my answer Did you notice the changes in habitat and food/diet? Did you remember to use the zig-zag approach to help with coherence and cohesion? You can review this in lessons 9.2, 9.3, 10.3, and 16.3 I organised my answer into the following stages: 1) egg to tadpole, and 2) froglet to adult frog As we saw with the previous model, there to organise your information – just it in a way that is is no single ‘correct’ way logical and helps you to summarises changes and make comparisons Language to notice: I used the verb ‘undergo’: ‘the frog undergoes several transformations’ This verb follows the same pattern as the verb ‘to go’ ( underwent, undergone etc.) and has two meanings: 1) ‘to experience a change’ and 2) to experience something bad or unpleasant (so we cannot say ‘The company underwent a great success.’ I used the verb ‘to enable’ (the ‘transformations enable I added ‘like’ to several nouns to create an adjective ( jelly-like and fish-like I used the verb ‘to mature’ (it it to leave …’) Enable means to make something possible ) This is a good way to explain something you don’t know the precise word for matures into an adult frog’), meaning to become completely grown physically or (in humans) to develop / grow physically and mentally Key features Check your answer has key features similar to those in the list below NB you not need to have all of them Remember to provide supporting evidence Key features to include: *The first three are key stages or changes to include in your overview *There are four stages in the frog’s life cycle *It changes / transforms several times *Its habitat changes from underwater to land / it begins living in the water and moves to the land The frog begins as an egg in a pond or lake (where the water is still) There are a lot of eggs The eggs are protected After 6-12 days the eggs hatch into tadpoles The tadpoles eat small plants and algae and can swim The first stage lasts 6-9 weeks The tadpole develops front and back legs – this takes 3-6 weeks It develops into a froglet, which looks more like a frog but has a long tail The froglet can jump and develops lungs (so The froglet still it can breathe out of water) eats the same diet as the tadpole This stage lasts 12 weeks (3 months) After 12 weeks, the froglet becomes a mature adult It lives in and out of the water – in grass or vegetation near a pond The frogs has a different diet – it eats insects and small animals The adult frog can live 2-4 years The adult frog goes back to a pond or lake to lay more eggs - these are examples of the main key features to include 19.3 Test practice 6: A Line graph The chart below gives information about car ownership in households in the UK between 1951 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words When you have finished, look at the model answer, and key points to notice below Check your answer by looking at the list of key features to include Test practice Model answer Model answer - Practice Test The line graph shows changing trends in car ownership in the UK from 1951 to 2007 Overall, car ownership increased significantly during this period and there is an increasing trend for households to have more than one car At the beginning of this period, in 1951, car ownership was uncommon in the UK, with only just over 10% of the population owning one car and approximately 2% of households owning two cars However, the situation changed quite rapidly over the next 16 years and by 1967, approximately 45% of household owned a car and just under 10% had two cars Over the next 40 years, from 1967 to 2007, single-car families remained relatively stable at around 45% In contrast, the percentage of households without a car continued to fall, albeit slightly less sharply This continued decline corresponded with increases in the ownership of multiple cars, with owning two cars rising to just under 30% in 2007, while three or more cars accounted for just under 10% Notably, households having two cars increased to a greater degree than three or more cars during this period, and the trend for three or more did not begin until towards the end of the 1960s Points to notice: Did you stop to think about what the data shows or tells us? For example, we can say that more and more households had a car because the data shows that the percentage with ‘ no car declined However, we can’t say that more people owned two or three cars because this data ’ adults were living together in one household and each one owned a car (e.g the household has cars) if an adult son or daughter is is for ‘households’ – it is possible that more living with their parents and each adult owns a car then With my organisation, I noticed a changing pattern connected to the dates, so this is how I decided to organise my answer Remember, choose the organisation that helps you to make comparisons, summarise the main changes or trends, and avoid repetition Practise writing your answer with a different organisation and compare the two Language to notice: I made a compound adjective by joining ‘single’ and ‘car’ with a hyphen: single-car We can only this when something this is households I is a nice way to vary your language NB For numbers above one, you need to use the number (i.e use ‘ two not ‘ double ’ being counted in small numbers, but ’: single-parent families; two-car ) compared two different increases by saying ‘increased to a greater degree than also say increase / ’ You can use this will decrease also: ‘decreased to a greater degree’ You can decrease by a larger amount Key features Check your answer has key features similar to those in the list below NB you not need to have all of them - these are examples of the main key features to include Remember to provide supporting evidence Key features to include: *The first two are main trends to include in your overview *Total car ownership increased significantly/ the majority of households had a car by the end of the period *There was a growing trend for households to have more than one car Car ownership was not common in 1951 Owning one car increased sharply Households with one car plateaued / / Few UK households had a car in 1951 significantly between 1951 and just after 1967 / remained stable at below 50% from the late 1960s / From 1967 to 2007 there was little change in the data for households with one car The number of households with no car declined continually The percentage of households with two or more cars increased steadily then more sharply from the mid-1970s Households with three or more cars only began in the late 1960s Households with three or more cars increased steadily but remained the lowest overall The continued rise in households with more than one car corresponded with the fall in the data for no car Writing Task Nguyen Thanh Pauline Cullen LESSON 20 - conankid0686@gmail.com Timed Test Practice 3: A bar chart, a process task, and a stacked bar chart View Profile Table of Contents In this lesson, you will learn about: 16.2 Test practice 1: Energy 20.1 T est practice - A Bar chart Font size: 1em 16.3 Test practice 2: Life Cycle 20.2 Test practice - A Process task Toggle fullscreen view 20 Test practice - A stacked bar chart Lesson 17 Review of Map Tasks and Task language Scroll 17.1 Reviewing Map Tasks Page animation 17.2 Taking a User approach to Maps and Plans 17.3 Review of Task Language and Style Logout Lesson 18 Timed Test practice The Key to Writing Task 18.1 Getting ready: Test practice 18.2 Test practice and (map task and pie charts) 18.3 Model answers, Points to notice, and Key Lesson 19 Timed Test practice 19.1 Test practice 4: A Table 19.2 Test practice 5: A process task A 19.3 Test practice 6: A Line graph features / 20.1 Test practice 7: A bar chart You may find the final three tasks a little more difficult Take the time to stop and think, notice the differences, and think carefully about what you are being shown before you begin to write I deliberately used ‘challenging’ data in this final lesson to force you to think a little more I did this because the real test often feels more difficult than the tests you practise at home However, you should not see these as reflecting the real test or conclude that ‘the test is becoming more difficult’ Instead, use them to put your analysing and critical thinking skills to the test The charts below give information about workplace injuries in one country in 2018 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words When you have finished, look at the model answer, and key points to notice below Check your answer by looking at the list of key features to include Test practice Model answer Model answer - Practice Test The bar chart shows the ages of people injured at work across four sectors, in one country, in 2018 Overall, while there is no clear trend connected to age, there are some similarities, with the injured more likely to be in the oldest category in three of the four sectors, and 25- to 34-year-olds appearing generally less affected In leisure and hospitality and manufacturing, injuries generally increased with age, with approximately 10% more in each age group In leisure and hospitality, around 12% of those injured were in the youngest category and 38% in the oldest In manufacturing, slightly more appeared in the younger groups, with 15% aged 15 to 24 and 25% in the 25 to 34 group However, the increase peaked at 35% in workers aged 35 to 49, and as many 50- to 60-year-olds were among the injured as those aged 25 to 34 Mining and construction and education and health also followed similar age-related patterns albeit in reverse In both sectors, the youngest and oldest groups were more affected than the middle groups, though injuries appear more common in older workers in education and health, with 40% aged 50 to 60 In contrast, in mining and construction, the youngest were most affected, again making up 40% of the total Notably, the lowest figure occurred in 25- to 34-year-olds working in education and health, with only 5% among those injured at work Points to notice: You need to think very carefully about what this chart actually shows us To produce the bar chart someone has collected data about people injured in four different industries, then taken that data and divided according to age This means that we can say that, of the people who were injured in 2018 in education and health, it 30% were aged 15-24, 5% were aged 25-34, 25% were aged 35 to 49, and 40% were aged 50-60 The data does not tell us what percentage of people of these ages were hurt – it tells us what percentage of the injured were in these age groups So, we cannot say ‘ 40% of people aged 50-60 were injured We also cannot compare the ‘numbers’ of injured in different fields To see why, here is ’ a table showing the total number of people injured in each sector: As you can see, the total number of people injured in mining and construction was much higher than the total number of people injured in education and health The table shows that: 40% of the 1554 people who were injured in education and health = 621 people aged 50-60 35% of the 5029 people who were injured in mining and construction = 1760 people aged 50-60 So, although 35% is a smaller percentage, it is a smaller percentage of a much larger total This shows the danger of comparing percentages - we cannot talk about the ‘number’ of people being greater or smaller, or ‘more people’ being injured in one sector than another We can only this within the same sector (e.g we can say that ‘In manufacturing, as many 25-34 year olds were injured as those aged 50 to 60’ because both represent 25% of the same total.) This means that you cannot make a point about one sector being more or less dangerous for a particular age group than another For example, you cannot say ‘ Education and health is riskier more dangerous for people aged 50 to 60 than mining and construction / than in mining and construction In the first sentence, I ’ Or ‘ More 50-60-year-olds are injured in Education and health ’ decided not to include ‘percentage’ because this chart is about the age of the people injured not about percentages of people accurate to say: The bar chart shows the percentage of people of different ages injured at work across four sectors, in one country in 2018 ' ' It is not Be careful with this in your own first sentence Pay close attention to how I made comparisons and what compared You may need to rewrite your answer I (see the comment above) Don’t worry about having to rewrite an answer – this is if you have compared different sectors inaccurately great deliberate practice This book helps you to make these mistakes now so that you can avoid making them in the test In my overview, I mentioned that ‘there is no clear trend’ but there are some similarities When the trend year-olds appearing generally less affected In organising my answer, I is not consistent, remember to use ‘generally’ ( 25- to 34- ) grouped together the sectors that followed similar patterns This helped me to compare and contrast them and to highlight key features in the trends (e.g in two sectors injuries increases with age and in two sectors the oldest and youngest were most affected) KEY IDEA : When summarising percentages is it very important to remember that each set or group of figures represents a different total, and we often not know what these totals are This means we cannot compare ‘the number’ of people in one group with that of another Be careful when comparing data that is not within the same total Language to notice: I used the phrase ‘ across four sectors ’ The word ‘ across has the meaning of ‘covering’ here For example, ’ if we say, ‘There were clouds across the entire country’ This means that the clouds are covering the whole country I used ‘ appearing in my overview, meaning of ‘seeming to be’ ’ data from only one year, I I did this because did not want to appear to be making a conclusion about I wanted to make a point about a trend that it I noticed in the data but as this is We could also use the verb ‘suggest’ in this way: ‘The data suggests that the injured are more likely to be in the oldest category in three of the four sectors, and that 25- to 34-year-olds are generally less affected.’ Later in my answer, I used ‘appearing’ in a different way – to refer to the different age groups ‘appearing’ among the injuries The meaning here When talking about the trends and patterns, I is ‘to be present’ created a compound adjective by adding ‘age’ and ‘related’ and joining them together with a hyphen: age-related If the data was comparing genders, we could use ‘ gender-related ’ as an adjective Practice To help you notice the ways that I avoided repetition when writing about work and injuries, and then about age, Look back at the model above to help you NB The aim here is not to test your memory – the aim is fill in the blanks in my models in the exercise below to help you notice these features, which will help improve your Coherence and cohesion score as well as your lexical resource score Key features Check your answer has key features similar to those in the Remember to provide supporting evidence list below NB you not need to have all of them - these are examples of the main key features to include Key features to include: *The first three are main trends to include in your overview *There are some similarities in the different sectors *In three of the four sectors the injured were in the oldest category *25- to 34-year-olds were generally affected / injured the least In leisure and hospitality, injuries increased with age – increasing by almost 10% in each age group In manufacturing, injuries increased with age until 35-49 year olds then dropped in the oldest group In education and health the injured were mostly in the oldest and youngest groups but the oldest made up the biggest proportion In manufacturing, the same number / proportion of workers aged 25-34 were injured as those aged 50 to 60 In mining and construction, the injured were mostly in the youngest and oldest groups but the youngest made up the biggest proportion (this reverse of education and health) The lowest proportion overall was 25- to 34-year-olds working in education and health is the opposite or QUESTION We can use substitution and referencing to avoid repeating the same words and phrases and also to show good Coherence and cohesion in writing To help you notice the ways that I avoided repeating the same words and phrases when talking about workers and injuries, fill in the blanks in my model below The bar chart shows the ages of across four sectors, in one country in 2018 Overall, while there is no clear trend connected to age, there are some similarities, with more likely to be in the oldest category in three of the four sectors, and 25- to 34-year-olds appearing generally less affected In leisure and hospitality and manufacturing, generally increased with age, with approximately 10% more in each age group In leisure and hospitality, around 12% of were in the youngest category and 38% in the oldest In manufacturing, slightly more appeared in the younger groups, with 15% aged 15 to 24 and 25% in the 25 to 34 group However, the increase peaked at 35% in aged 35 to 49, and as many 50- to 60-year-olds were among as aged 25 to 34 Mining and construction and education and health followed similar age-related patterns albeit in reverse In both sectors, the youngest and oldest groups were more affected than the middle groups, though appear more common in older in education and health, with 40% aged 50 to 60 In contrast, in mining and construction, the youngest were most affected, again making up 40% of with only 5% among Notably, the lowest figure occurred in 25- to 34-year-olds education and health, QUESTION Now the same for age The bar chart shows of people injured at work across four sectors, in one country in 2018 Overall, while there , there are some similarities, with the injured more likely to be in is no clear trend connected to in three of the four sectors, and appearing generally less affected In leisure and hospitality and manufacturing, injuries generally increased hospitality, around 12% of those injured were in with 15% and 25% in , in In leisure and In manufacturing, slightly more appeared in , , and as many Mining and construction and education and health followed similar 40% However, the increase peaked at 35% in workers were among the injured as those were more affected than with approximately 10% more in each and 38% in patterns albeit in reverse In both sectors, , though injuries appear more common in In contrast, in mining and construction, and workers in education and health, with were most affected, again making up 40% of the total Notably, the lowest figure occurred working in education and health, with only 5% among those injured at work Show answers QUESTION We can use substitution and referencing to avoid repeating the same words and phrases and also to show good Coherence and cohesion in writing To help you notice the ways that I avoided repeating the same words and phrases when talking about workers and injuries, fill in the blanks in my model below The bar chart shows the ages of across four sectors, in one country in 2018 Overall, while there is no clear trend connected to age, there are some similarities, with more likely to be in the oldest category in three of the four sectors, and 25- to 34-year-olds appearing generally less affected In leisure and hospitality and manufacturing, generally increased with age, with approximately 10% more in each age group In leisure and hospitality, around 12% of were in the youngest category and 38% in the oldest In manufacturing, slightly more appeared in the younger groups, with 15% aged 15 to 24 and 25% in the 25 to 34 group However, the increase peaked at 35% in aged 35 to 49, and as many 50- to 60-year-olds were among as aged 25 to 34 Mining and construction and education and health followed similar age-related patterns albeit in reverse In both sectors, the youngest and oldest groups were more affected than the middle groups, though appear more common in older in education and health, with 40% aged 50 to 60 In contrast, in mining and construction, the youngest were most affected, again making up 40% of with only 5% among Notably, the lowest figure occurred in 25- to 34-year-olds education and health, The answer: The bar chart shows the ages of people injured at work across four sectors, in one country in 2018 Overall, while there is no clear trend connected to age, there are some similarities, with the injured more likely to be in the oldest category in three of the four sectors, and 25- to 34-year-olds appearing generally less affected In leisure and hospitality and manufacturing, injuries generally increased with age, with approximately 10% more in each age group In leisure and hospitality, around 12% of those injured were in the youngest category and 38% in the oldest In manufacturing, slightly more appeared in the younger groups, with 15% aged 15 to 24 and 25% in the 25 to 34 group However, the increase peaked at 35% in workers aged 35 to 49, and as many 50- to 60-year-olds were among the injured as those aged 25 to 34 Mining and construction and education and health followed groups were more affected than the middle groups, though to 60 In contrast, in mining and construction, the youngest in 25- to 34-year-olds working in education and health, with similar age-related patterns albeit in reverse In both sectors, the youngest and oldest injuries appear more common in older workers in education and health, with 40% aged 50 were most affected, again making up 40% of the total Notably, the lowest figure occurred only 5% among those injured at work QUESTION Now the same for age The bar chart shows of people injured at work across four sectors, in one country in 2018 Overall, while there , there are some similarities, with the injured more likely to be in is no clear trend connected to in three of the four sectors, and appearing generally less affected In leisure and hospitality and manufacturing, injuries generally increased hospitality, around 12% of those injured were in with 15% and 25% in , in In leisure and In manufacturing, slightly more appeared in , , and as many Mining and construction and education and health followed similar were more affected than However, the increase peaked at 35% in workers were among the injured as those 40% with approximately 10% more in each and 38% in patterns albeit in reverse In both sectors, , though injuries appear more common in In contrast, in mining and construction, and workers in education and health, with were most affected, again making up 40% of the total Notably, the lowest figure occurred working in education and health, with only 5% among those injured at work The answer: The bar chart shows the ages of people injured at work across four sectors, in one country in 2018 Overall, while there is no clear trend connected to age , there are some similarities, with the injured more likely to be in the oldest category in three of the four sectors, and 25- to 34-year-olds appearing generally less affected In leisure and hospitality and manufacturing, injuries generally increased with age , with approximately 10% more in each age group In leisure and hospitality, around 12% of those injured were in the youngest category and 38% in the oldest In manufacturing, slightly more appeared in the younger groups , with 15% aged 15 to 24 and 25% in the 25 to 34 group However, the increase peaked at 35% in workers aged 35 to 49 , and as many 50- to 60-year-olds were among the injured as those aged 25 to 34 Mining and construction and education and health followed groups were more affected than the middle groups , though to 60 In contrast, in mining and construction, the youngest in 25- to 34-year-olds working in education and health, with similar age-related patterns albeit in reverse In both sectors, the youngest and oldest injuries appear more common in older workers in education and health, with 40% aged 50 were most affected, again making up 40% of the total Notably, the lowest figure occurred only 5% among those injured at work All done ! 20.2 Test practice 8: A process task The diagram below shows how drink cartons are recycled Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant Recycling drink cartons Write at least 150 words When you have finished, look at the model answer, and key points to notice below Check your answer by looking at the list of key features to include Test practice Model answer Model answer - Practice Test The diagram shows the process used to recycle drink cartons Overall, this is a six-step, largely mechanical process that extracts three main raw materials from the cartons allowing a variety of new products to be made Cartons such as those used for milk and juice are composed of several useful raw materials, including aluminium, hard and soft plastics, and cardboard, which makes up the majority of the product Recycling these cartons begins when consumers put used cartons in a recycling bin ready for collection Next, the recyclables are collected and taken to a sorting depot, where they are sorted and separated either manually or mechanically The drinks cartons are then compressed, forming bales, which can now be transported to the paper mill At the paper mill, the cartons are turned back into pulp by adding water and spinning at high speed The pulp is then dried, after which it can be separated into three main materials: paper fibres, aluminium, and plastic The materials can now be used to produce various new products, including garden furniture, house and car parts, and carboard or paper products Points to notice: In my overview I referred to the total number of steps in the process and the type of process involved – largely mechanical Alternatively, I could have referred the key stages in the process (extracting the raw materials and then processing them so that new products could be made.) I said ‘largely mechanical’ because I could see people involved in the sorting and separating process As ‘sorted and separated either manually or mechanically.’ it was unclear, I described this as the recyclables being As well as the stages of the process, we are given information about the raw materials that are in a drink carton You need to include this in your answer I used a zig-zig pattern to help me connect my ideas This also helped me to avoid always beginning my sentences with a connecting word or phrase, which makes your writing mechanical and repetitive For my organisation, I chose a point at which there was a major change (here it was a change in location) So my answer is organised into 1) collecting and preparing the cartons ready for the paper mill 2) what happens at the paper mill and afterwards Remember, isn’t always ‘relevant’ to make comparisons in a process task it Language to notice: ‘ Largely ‘ Recyclables are materials (usually packaging e.g empty cans, bottles, or cartons) that can be recycled I is ’ used in a similar way to ‘ generally ’ ’ used ‘ consumers to refer to the people using these products ’ We can use the adverbs ‘ by hand or ‘ manually to refer to a process done by people rather than using a machine ’ ’ Did you remember to use the term ‘ raw materials ’? Remember, the raw materials of a product are similar to the ‘ingredients’ in cooking We can talk about ‘ the composition ’ of a product, meaning what it is ‘made up of’ or ‘composed of’ Two words that are commonly confused are: comprise and compose passive way with the same meaning (‘ to To comprise = ‘to consist of’ or ‘to be made up of’ We can only use ‘compose’ in a be composed of ’) (‘To compose’ means to produce some music or some formal writing.) Look at the following examples: A drinks carton is made up of several key raw materials , namely A drinks carton comprises several useful raw materials , including aluminium, hard and soft plastics, and cardboard A drinks carton is composed of the following raw materials : aluminium, hard and soft plastics, and cardboard In terms of its composition When I was checking and editing, to ‘ various new products I , a drinks carton realised I is made up of aluminium, hard and soft plastics, and cardboard had repeated ‘ a variety of new products in my overview and in my final sentence, so ’ I changed the final sentence ’ Key features Check your answer has key features similar to those in the list below NB you not need to have all of them - these are examples of the main key features to include Remember to provide supporting evidence Key features to include: *The first three are main features or stages to include in your overview *This is a six-step process *The process is mostly mechanical *Three of the raw materials in the drinks cartons are extracted so that other products can be made *OR: / This process has two main stages extracting the raw materials then processing the raw materials so that new products can be made Drinks cartons are composed of aluminium, hard and soft plastics, and cardboard The main raw material is cardboard The empty cartons are put into / // cardboard makes up the majority of the carton deposited in recycling bins and the collected The cartons are taken to a recycling centre (or depot) where they are sorted and separated either by hand or by machine The drinks cartons are compressed forming bales The bales are transported to / taken to the paper mill At the paper mill, the cartons are turned back into a pulp (repulped) by spinning them at high speed with water The pulp is then dried and separated into aluminium, plastic, and paper fibres The raw materials are used to produce new products 20.3 Test practice 9: A stacked bar chart The chart shows the value of goods in the US transported by different modes of transport in 2012, 2018, and predictions for 2045 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant Write at least 150 words When you have finished, look at the model answer, and key points to notice below Check your answer by looking at the list of key features to include Test practice Model answer Model answer - Practice Test The bar chart shows the value of imports and exports in the US categorised by mode of transport in 2012, 2018, and predicted figures for 2045 Overall, imports generally exceed the value of exports, and there is continued growth in almost all areas, although air is predicted to remain dominant, while rail carries the lowest value of goods In terms of imported goods, air transport had the highest values and increases, carrying goods valued at $472 billion in 2012 and rising to $562 billion in 2018 Road transport was the second highest, with figures climbing from $311 to $375 billion In comparison, the figures for rail and water were significantly lower, with rail rising only slightly from $109 to $115 billion and water actually declining from $288 to $210 billion Nevertheless, by 2045, all values are predicted to have increased and air will continue to dominate, reaching a striking $3465 billion, significantly higher than any other sector With exports, similar trends and positions can be seen albeit at a lower level, and the figures for 2012 and 2018 were generally much closer, with air rising from $461 to $482 billion, and rail from $63 to $64 billion However, notably, water more than doubled in value (from $73 to $154 billion) and, while exports are expected to increase across all modes or transport in 2045, road alone will exceed the equivalent value of imports at $1244 and $1219 billion respectively Points to notice: Remember, a stacked bar chart shows similar information to a pie chart – the different colours or shading in each bar represent a proportion of the total, the whole bar represents the total This chart a good example of why a stacked bar chart might be used is - if these were pie charts, they would take up a lot of space on the page and you would need to look at separate pie charts to compare the data Stacked bar charts can present this information in a more efficient way In the overview, it is useful to compare totals (i.e total imports and exports) as well as the main trends within the modes of transport We are told the ‘value’ of the imports and exports in ‘billions of dollars’ We are not told about quantities (how much or how many goods are being transported this way – only the value of these goods) We have past figures as well as predicted figures, so we can be sure to vary the tenses we use I wrote my answer to this task twice and actually changed the data as a result The data I used for the first version had the information organised by year, like this: Seeing the data presented like this encouraged me to organise my answer according to the years This resulted in a long answer (243 words) that was repetitive and confusing to read There was one long and rather confusing and repetitive paragraph about imports and exports in 2012 and 2018, and then a very short paragraph about predictions for 2045 In the real test, the pre-test review process helps to identify problems like this As a result, together the imports and then the exports This shows just how important it is to use the right materials for your test practice - I reorganised the data, grouping the wrong materials encourage you to write in a confusing and repetitive way In my second version (the model you can see above), problem - I organised my paragraphs according to 1) imports and then 2) exports and this helped me to solve the my answer was now easier to read and less repetitive writing your answer again then compare both answers to see if If you organised your paragraphs according to the year (rather than 1) imports, 2) exports) try you had the same problem of a repetitive and confusing answer Language to notice: Mode of transport Notice how I is not the same as means of transport Think of ‘mode’ as meaning ‘style’ So ‘rail’ is a mode of transport while a ‘train’ is a means of transport used ‘the equivalent’ in this sentence: ‘ exports are expected to increase across all modes or transport in 2045, road alone will exceed the equivalent value of imports at $1244 and $1219 billion respectively.’ Here, I am comparing ‘road transport’ in exports with ‘the equivalent’ (i.e road transport) in imports Key features Check your answer has key features similar to those in the list below NB you not need to have all of them - these are examples of the main key features to include Remember to provide supporting evidence Key features to include: *The first three are main trends to include in your overview *The total value of imports generally exceeded the total value of exports *The figures generally grew in all areas and are predicted to continue growing / all modes increased consistently apart from water *Air will continue to dominate and rail will continue to carry the lowest values of goods With imports air transport had the highest values and the highest increases between 2012 and 2018 road transport had the second highest figures and also increased between 2012 and 2018 rail and water figures were lower rail increased only slightly and water decreased – the only figure to this by 2045 all figures will have risen and air will dominate the figure for imports transported by air in 2045 is far greater than for any other figure given With exports the trends will be similar to imports but at a lower value the increases between 2012 and 2018 are relatively small the value of water exports more than doubled between 2012 and 2018 road exports will exceed the value of road imports in 2045 – the only figure to this

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