[...]... flowchart For example … 1 Just like the holding cell at the 21st Street police station Sell Your Own Damn Movie! © 2011 Lloyd Kaufman Published by Elsevier Inc All rights reserved 11 SHOULD YOU READ THIS DAMN BOOK? Do you want to make a movie? YES NO Have you read Direct Your Own Damn Movie? 12 | Sell Your Own Damn Movie! YES NO I love you Did you actually make a movie? YES Do you enjoy Lloyd Kaufman... they’re feeling! You’re just making it up in your head Bonus Chapter | one Make Your Own Damn Flowchart When you’ve finished your movie and it’s time to sell, sell, sell, there are decisions that need to be made Will you try to sell the flick yourself, or will you use a distributor? Will you focus on big advertising or word of mouth? Will you sell the damn thing at all, or will you give it away in... in Shanghai There weren’t many Levines in Shanghai, however, and young Sam was better known by the nickname Mo-Ti What the hell Mo-Ti means, I have no idea I can only assume the moronic nickname Sell Your Own Damn Movie! © 2011 Lloyd Kaufman Published by Elsevier Inc All rights reserved 1 2 | Sell Your Own Damn Movie! came about because he was a very thirsty child, and everyone knows that Chinese people... page intentionally left blank A Special Sell Your Own Damn Thank You” to Sara Antill Sell Your Own Damn Movie! co-author Sara Antill explodes with joy after receiving this Christmas gift from Lloyd xi This page intentionally left blank Acknowledgments I’d like to take a moment to give an impassioned thank you to the following people: Michael and Maris Herz, your dear, sweet souls have nurtured me from... $12.50 to jerk off to Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge See how great technology is? 6 | Sell Your Own Damn Movie! cameras, the editing equipment, the editors, the cafeterias, the musicians, the press relations, and, finally, the theaters Now, at this point, keep in mind that most people could not go out and make their own damn movie There were no small, cheap cameras like there are today, and there were... led to higher production costs Within a few years, the era of the major studio was over, and the rise of the independents had begun And that is when I, Lloyd Kaufman, became a man 8 | Sell Your Own Damn Movie! “Yeah.” Damn right, yeah Did you want to get an appetizer?” There is silence at our table I take another sip of my vodka A Chinese woman walks up to me holding a handful of DVDs “Movies, movies,”... History of Film Distribution, 10,000 b c –Present because I believe piracy is illegal We would like to sell copies of this book, unlike the last two that you wrote for us But I continue to have faith in you I’m sure this book will be the best yet! Please don’t focus on piracy 10 | Sell Your Own Damn Movie! KAREN BLACK SAYS, “DON’T GIVE UP!” Oscar-nominated Karen Black has appeared in such films as Easy... glass of vodka down “That’s what this book should be!” I exclaim, triumphantly “Hmm?” says Sara “Piracy Anticopyright That’s the future!” I sip my vodka, and I wink at the frat boy A MIDCONVERSATION EMAIL EXCHANGE WITH MY LONG-SUFFERING EDITRIX -Original Message To: elinor@focalpress.com From: lloyd@troma.com Date: April 9, 2010 8:37 p.m Subject: Sell Your Own Damn Movie Elinor—... -Original Message To: lloyd@troma.com From: elinor@focalpress.com Date: April 12, 2010 9:36 a.m Subject: RE: Sell Your Own Damn Movie Dear Lloyd, I am delighted that you are moving ahead with the new book! I’m sure that you have lots of ideas that we can discuss I’m not sure about your piracy angle, mostly Regards, Elinor Focal Press -End Message - FUN FACTS! (Because my... what Lloyd and Troma do every day! So, get ready for a great ride—this book will entertain you and make you laugh, but most important, you will learn a superheroic amount about selling your own damn movie Remember, if Lloyd can sell movies with 600pound men expelling explosive diarrhea, Shakespearean hard-bodied lesbians, Indian zombie chickens, hideously deformed creatures of 1 The Toxic Avenger was .