Brandie M. LeeAlcoholismI woke up from coma wondering what had
happened to me. "I am going to die, what have I done to myself." "Does
my mother know?" She will kill me. "I am so SCARED!" Most kids
my age, who only had their grandma and grandpa never knew what it was
like to have a great-grandmother. Not only was she the best great
grandma but she also played the role of a mother. To me I consider her
to be an angel sent from heaven, to show some of us a few lessons
about life. Her name was Josephine Catalici, an Italian woman born in
Naples, Italy in 1906. She died this past summer. She was about 5'5"
and very beautiful. She was good hearted, gentle, devoted, and open
handed in everything she did. Josephine was always out to help
someone in need. She considered other people to be first priority. She
was the type of person who was almost perfect, always pleasing
someone else and making one feel proud of themselves. My
great-grandmother was the type of person to bring out the best in
everyone. As a child, I needed that because my home had its ups and
downs. My parents were separated and I had been living with my mother.
She was a young parent and did things that most mother did not. For
instance, as a child she would leave me alone and sometimes physically
abuse me. Therefore, I sometimes had a hard time understanding why
she treated me so differently. On the other hand, I always received my
explanations from my great-grandmother whom I called "Mema". I am not
the only individual who considered her to be this type of caring person.
Everyone that had known her, thought she was remarkable.
Unfortunately, she started getting ill and during her times of need, I took
care of her. in this time frame I knew that she was going to leave me
soon. I was fourteen and dealing with a lot of changes in my life. I wish
Josephine did not have to be one of those changes. Although, she was,
but the good thing, is that she died without suffering. She was never
afraid of death because she considered it to be another continuation of
life. However, I could not deal with the pain of being without my
great-grandmother. I am now in eighth grade, not too happy to be
here. But I know that I have to go to school. I felt like nothing. My
mother will not stop beating me. I don't want to live anymore. My grades
are dropping in school. In result of, principle has called my mother
because I am getting into so much trouble. Why me? I asked. Why can't
I just die to be with my great-grandmother? I wanted nothing more than
to be with her. I was not afraid of death. That is because I know she is
there for me. Well, I thought it over how can I do this so no one will
suspect that I am losing my mind. "Hey Brandie, do you want to go to this
party we are having for Kelly this Saturday?" Sure, I'll be there. No one
will know what I am thinking. I will be going to this party this Saturday
whether my mother likes it or not. She will not stop me. Like I said,
my mother tried to stop me but it did not work. I went anyway. I arrived
at about 8:00 p.m. So many people are here. How are you all doing
tonight? Is there anything to drink? I asked. Well, a few people that I
knew were bringing some alcohol. So, I made a plan to go to the park
around the block and drink with a few people. After about an hour, I was
drunk. At that time I did not know that I was drinking so much. I was
drinking straight vodka like it was water. I was having invasions that I was
with my great-grandmother. I felt great! It was such a feeling. Someone
yelled to me, "The cops are coming run." I turned so fast and was
running into the darkness of the night. I woke up, "Where the fuck am I,
what am I doing here, where is my mother, why me, why do I have to
live?" All these questions came to my mind when I had awoken from my
coma. I was so frightened by this. Not that I was in the hospital, but what
my mother was going to do to me. I can not remember what had
happened to me after I started to run from the cops. Let me tell you what
my friends told me. They found I at 3:00 am in the middle of a basketball
court (the worst park in town), unconscious. I was wearing a tank top and
shorts, in November. The boys who had found me said that I was
choking on my vomit and I almost froze to death. The doctor told me that
I was so close to dying that evening. I said to myself, "Why am I still
living then, didn't you want me to be with you?". He said that I could have
frozen to death, choked on my vomit, been raped, had alcohol poisoning
and never waking from coma. It was a miracle the doctor said. I don't
understand, why was I so close and it did not happen. There must have
been a reason. Well, I have learned from this experience. I have
learned that you do not have to kill yourself to be with someone who had
died. They are there with you all the time as long as you have faith. In
order to survive in the world today one must keep their faith in God and
strive for your dreams and one should have happiness in some way.
. Brandie M. LeeAlcoholismI woke up from coma wondering what had happened to me. "I am going to die, what have