The Search for Peace in Times of Chaos—Volume Unitarian Universalists hold that divorce is entirely a matter for conscientious decision on the part of the persons involved They v iew divorce as an , corresponding to the that is marriage Both are viewed as life choices, which are supported as long as they are healthy for all concerned Because of this flexibility, the Unitarian church was actually creating “divorce rituals” as far back as the 1960s, and there are a few standard ceremonies that ministers draw upon today, adapting each to personalize the event Unitarian Universalist divorce ceremonies transmit a message of hope and love in a public setting, acknowledging the role of society in the couple’s lives The ceremony can be held at any time the participants are ready, before or after the civil divorce The couple, a minister, and friends and family (a more intimate group than for a wedding, but large enough to reflect the community in which the family has lived) gather for the ceremony Congregants generally don’t participate but are present to bear witness to the couple’s desire to begin anew As a community event with a message of affirmation and hope, they believe it would be a good ceremony for including children, who may also feel the relief (expressed in the text of the ceremony) at the resolution of the tensions they’ve felt in their parents’ marriage Having the ceremony take place in a church setting is important in this ritual This reflects the couple’s determination to divorce in a manner as sacred (and public) as that in which they got married The minister reminds them that they were married within the community, and that the community is now present for their divorce The individuals are then led in an affirmation that, though their marriage is ending, they will endeavor to value the past and enter a new, respectful relationship that transcends the pain and bitterness of the recent past At this point, the wedding rings are returned, and the minister releases the couple from their vows, proclaiming that they’re free to enter a new life and to love again: “Go forth, not in the hurt of ties wrenched and faith unachieved, but with hope and belief in love yet possible.” The minister calls on society to acknowledge and support the couple in their decision to separate “It is to peace that God has called you We your families and friends, (as well as the law of the land– ay God if applicable), now recognize that your marriage is ended bless your separate lives and homes.” The couple shakes hands, and those who are gathered depart.17 ~ 43 ~