How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You.

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You.

Page iii How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You Leil Lowndes CONTEMPORARY BOOKS A TRIBUNE COMPANY Page iv Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Lowndes, Leil. How to make anyone fall in love with you / Leil Lowndes. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-8092-3211-1 1. Love. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. Intimacy (Psychology) 4. Sexual excitement. I. Title. HQ801.L69 1996 306.7—dc20 96-14502 CIP Jacket design by Scott Rattray Interior design by Mary Lockwood Excerpt from Obsession: Copyright © 1995 by Debra McCarthy-Anderson and Carol Bruce-Thomas. All rights reserved. Reproduced with the permission of the publisher, Harlequin Books S.A. Copyright © 1996 by Leil Lowndes All rights reserved Published by Contemporary Books An imprint of NTC/Contemporary Publishing Company Two Prudential Plaza, Chicago, Illinois 60601-6790 Manufactured in the United States of America International Standard Book Number: 0-8092-3211-1 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Page v To fulfill the promise of the title, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You offers 85 techniques based on scientific studies into the nature of romantic love. Page vii CONTENTS 1 Anyone? Yes, Practically Anyone 1 Science "Discovers" Sex 2 How More Research Was Compiled 4 How the Techniques Were Developed 5 How I Tested the Techniques 7 2 What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements 9 What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements I. First Impressions 9 II. Similar Character, Complementary Needs 10 III. Equity 11 IV. Ego 12 V. Early-Date Gender-Menders 13 VI. Rx for Sex 14 3 The Physical Side of Falling in Love 17 "Why Do My Insides Go All Funny?" 17 "Does Somebody Have to Be Pea-Brained to Fall in Love with Me?" 17 "Why Do We Fall in Love with One Person and Not Another?" 18 "How Can These Little Things Start Love?" 19 Page viii 4 Where Are All the Good Men and Women? 23 Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places 23 5 Does Love at First Sight Exist? 25 Part One: First Impressions You Never Get a Second Chance at Love at First Sight 6 How to Make a Dynamite First Impression 29 Fi rst Impressions Last Forever 29 Fi rst Impressions Last Forever 29 Be Ready for Love—Always! 30 Stay Psychologically "Fit to Kill" 32 7 How to Ignite Love at First Sight 35 How Much Eye Contact Does It Take to Imitate Love? 37 How to Get Sexy "Bedroom Eyes" 39 How to Awaken Primal, Unsettling, Sexy Feelings in Your Quarry 41 Naughty Eyes Are So Nice 42 8 Your First Approach 45 The Gentle Art of Pickup (Not for Men Only) 45 Hunters, Make the First Move . . . Fast 46 Huntresses, Make the Fast Move . . . First 49 First Moves That Work for Women 50 9 Your First Body Language 53 Let Your Body Do the Talking 53 When You Are Quarry 56 The Word That Can Save Your Relationship 57 "But This Is So Basic!" 60 10 Your First Conversation 61 Conversation Is Making Beautiful Music Together 61 Conversatio n Is Like Making Love 62 Conversatio n Is Like Making Love 62 Conversation Is Like Selling 62 How to Know What Topics Turn Your Quarry On 65 Page ix How to Fool Your Quarry into Thinking You Two Are Already in Love 68 Get Even Closer by Giving the Gift of Intimacy 70 Make Your Lifestyle "Fit" Your Quarry's Lovemap 71 11 Your First Date 75 The Game Begins in Earnest 75 "How Soon Should I Make My Move?" 76 "Playing Hard to Get—Should I, or Shouldn't I?" 77 The Scientifically Proved Best First Date 79 Give Your Quarry First-Date Butterflies 80 Plant the Seeds of Similarity 82 First-Date Restaurant Smarts 82 Hunters, Some Spit and Polish for Your P's and Q's 84 Huntresses, Forgive His Foibles 85 First-Date Duds 87 "I Haven't Got a Thing to Wear" 87 Part Two: Similar Character, Complementary Needs I Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)! Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)! 12 "It's You and Me, Baby, Alone Against This Mad, Mad World" 93 Similarity . . . and a Touch of Difference (Just a Touch) 94 13 How to Establish Subconscious Similarity 97 How to Instantly Make Your Quarry Feel, "Why, We're Just Alike!" 97 Words to Give Your Quarry "That Family Feeling" 98 "We Even Speak the Same (Body) Language" 101 14 How to Establish Conscious Similarity 105 The Three Crucial Conscious Similarities 105 Let's Talk About Our Relationship—Not! 113 15 How to Establish Complementary Needs 117 "I Got Just What You Need, Baby" 117 Page x Part Three: Ego How Do You Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways 16 The World Revolves Around You, My Quarry 123 Ego Massage Is a Highly Skilled Craft 124 17 Step One: Silent Praise 127 Step One: Silent Praise Let Your Body Do the Praising 127 18 Step Two: Empathy 129 "I Can Identify with That!" 129 Lovers Share Intimate Details 131 Lovers Have Private Jokes 133 19 Step Three: Admiration 137 "Oh Honey, You Did an Absolutely Superb Job Slicing These Mushrooms" 137 20 Step Four: The Implied Compliment 141 "You're Much Too Young to Remember This, But . . ." 141 The Bull's-Eye Booster: "I Just Love What You Like About Yourself" 142 21 Step Five: The Big Guns 145 "You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met" 145 "What Does Giving a Killer Compliment Do for Me?" 146 22 Fine-Tuning the Ego Machine 149 "Wait a Minute. Does Everybody Like Compliments?" 149 Knee-Jerk Praise: "What You Just Did Was Fabulous" 150 Have the First Laugh 151 Lovers Give Each Other Pet Names 152 When Your Quarry Praises You 153 Page xi 23 Keeping the Love Coals Warm 155 "I Love the Way You Wrinkle Your Nose When You Laugh" 155 Part Four: Equity The WIIFM Principle of Love (What's in It for Me?) 24 Everybody's Got a Market Value, Baby 161 Why Is Finding Love Like Horse Trading? 162 What Currency "Buys" a Good Partner? 163 25 How Can I Use the Equity Principle to Find Love? 167 You Really Don't Want to Marry the Handsome Prince or the Beautiful Princess 167 "Why Don't I Want to Marry Up? 168 "What Happens if Inequity Strikes After We're Married?" 170 26 How Important Are Looks? 173 What Type of Looks Do Women Like? 174 What Type of Looks Do Men Like? 175 "How Can I Make My Quarry Think I'm Better Looking?" 176 How to Beef Up Your Odds on Making the Kill 179 27 Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey 181 Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey The Look of Money 181 The Sound of Class 182 What Does the U Crowd Talk About? 184 Use Status Words with Status Prey 185 28 Upping Your Ante in Other Assets Knowledge, Social Graces, and Inner Beauty Are Tangible Assets 187 Page xii 29 Help Them Convince Themselves That They Love You 189 Let Your Quarry Do Favors for You 189 Hey! What About "O Lyric Love, Half Angel and Half Bird"? 191 Part Five: Early-Date Gender-Menders Is There Love After Eden? 30 "I Hope He or She's Not a Jerk Like All the Others" 195 "I Want a Man I Can Talk to, a Woman Who Thinks Like a Man" 196 31 What Is "Man Talk" and What Is "Woman Talk"? (Does It Exist?) 199 32 "How Do You Feel About That?" 203 33 "Excuse Me, Could You Tell Me Where . . ." 207 "Excuse Me, Could You Tell Me Where . . ." 34 "Please, Spare Me the Details" 209 35 "Tell Me (Don't Tell Me) About It" 213 36 "What's the Best Way to Get from Point A to Point B?" 217 "A Straight Line!" He Declares; "A Gentle Curve?" She Asks 217 37 "Could You Give Me a Hand with This?" 221 38 Little Words to Win Your Quarry's Heart 225 39 Are There Dangerous Waters Ahead in the Gender Gap? 227 Page xiii Part Six: Rx For Sex How to Turn On the Sexual Electricity 40 Your Quarry's Hottest Erogenous Zone 231 41 No Two Sexualities Are Alike, as No Two Snowflakes Are Alike 233 How Do Men's and Women's Sexual Desires Differ? 235 Why Are Men's and Women's Fantasies So Different? 235 Yet More Differences 236 How to Use Differences to Make Your Quarry Fall in Love with You 237 [...]... (Part Six) Throughout How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, we will explore all these factors from a scientific point of view Let us now go back to the beginning Where do you find a Potential Love Partner? How do you get that first shot of PEA shooting through his/her veins over you? Page 23 4 Where Are All the Good Men and Women? Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places Single and divorced people,... you, let alone fall in love with you Page 25 5 Does Love At First Sight Exist? Let's say you get lucky tomorrow and spot a Potential Love Partner He or she is sitting on the steps reading a book Or standing in a museum studying a painting Or getting on the bus Or waiting in line at the bank cash machine You sneak a second peek Something about the stranger revs up your internal PEA factory, and a little... "How Can These Little Things Start Love? " Why do these seemingly meaningless stimuli kick-start love? Where do they come from? Are they in our genes? No, genes have nothing to do with falling in love The origin lies deeply buried in our psyche The ammunition that gets fired off when we see (hear, smell, feel) something we like is lying dormant in our subconscious It springs from that apparently bottomless... "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You." Invitations flowed in from all over the country from colleges, singles' groups, clubs, and continuing education organizations It is on this playing field that the material has been tested And the feedback from my students is, "Yes!" You can make someone fall in love with you Is it a simple task? No Does it require sacrifice? Yes You may decide, after reading... means to make your Quarry feel special Subtle procedures can convince Quarries what they've suspected all along: "I am differPage 13 ent I am wonderful And to thank you for recognizing this amazing fact, I'll fall in love with you.' ' Everyone also hungers for security and validation We seek protection in our primary relationship from the cruel, cruel world In Part Four, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with. .. eyes with your Quarry to give the aura of already being in love Page 39 There's more to it than just looking deeply into someone's eyes, however You must make your own eyes warm and inviting Staring into the frigid eyes of a dead fish does nothing to incite love How to Get Sexy "Bedroom Eyes" Bedroom eyes is not just a quality movie stars are blessed with Neither Bette Davis nor Clark Gable had a patent... physically when we fall in love Page 17 3 The Physical Side of Falling in Love "Why Do My Insides Go All Funny?" Falling in love is both a mental and a physical process Some of the first techniques you will learn ignite your Quarry's physical response to you before his or her brain catches up We will put love through the brain-scanner and under the x-ray machine to examine what physically happens to your Quarry... resolve to try for romantic takeoff or abort thoughts of love His or her mind then becomes computer-like, and your PLP continues to make rapid decisions about you during your first conversation, your first date In Part One, we will cover techniques to lure Potential Love Partners into approaching you, into liking you, and then into making a first date I'll share scientifically sound methods of keeping... continue to Page 20 crawl after the doctor who delivered us until we reach adulthood But there is strong evidence that we fall prey to another kind of imprinting—an early sexual imprinting Universally respected sexologist Dr John Money coined the term Lovemap to describe this imprinting Our Lovemaps are carvings of pain or pleasure axed in our brains in early responses to our family members, our childhood... fester forever in some nook or cranny of the human psyche, just waiting to bleed again when the proper stimulus strikes Dr Money said, ''Lovemaps They're as common as faces, bodies, and brains Each of us has one Without it there would be no falling in love, no mating, and no breeding of the species."7 Your Quarry has a Lovemap You have a Lovemap We all have Lovemaps They are indelibly etched into our egos,